Smoke Sesh - dream big! manifestation, meditation & growing tf up

Episode Date: July 2, 2024

hello hotties and welcome back to another amazing episode of smoke sesh im so excited to hang out with you all today! we have a packed episode as we talk about what I've been up to, big summer feelings, confrontation and people pleasing isn't pleasing you! learning to walk away, dare to dream big! achieving your dreams, meditation and different ways to look inward, hot girl stomach problems, cooking from home, body count (does it really matter?) holding onto hope and surviving the high highs and low lows, growing tf up, cutting him off, nicotine addiction (yes, its the nicotine making you feel bad), working nightlife advice, how to get involved with nature locally, the ultimate cancer b day, letting yourself go crazy (post breakup), how to get your angles right and take good photos, going out is overrated, men are dumb, and much much much much more! If you want to see more from me follow me on instagram @hannahmarlene for what im up to on a daily basis and if you want to join the patreon club patreon.com/smokeseshshawty there's an extra episode every Thursday for you all! stay safe have fun and we will catch up next week! MUAH

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all good morning hotties of the world and welcome back to another beautiful amazing wonderful episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and i am here to provide the perfect sesh for all my girls and gays who just maybe want to escape reality a little bit welcome that is exactly what we are going to do today. Today's a pretty dreamy day. It's a pretty I mean gloomy

rainy day which in itself kind of puts me in a space of like rest and relaxation which is really nice. I slept into until like 11 30. I don't remember the last time I did that honestly but this weekend was kind of hectic. We were running around. I was working late nights. I got like five hours of sleep on Saturday and then had to wake up and work like an eight hour brunch shift working girls we make do let me tell you that so that was super fun but I got to eat a lot of really yummy food drink a lot of really yummy wine I made that um one of you guys inspired me but I made that summer lemonade recipe that I posted on Instagram as like a cooking reel and i put vodka in it yeah we'll be taking that everywhere i go this summer anyways

giving america the free giving lana del rey national anthem um i just got this hat and i feel like it's everything for my audio listeners it's this denim bling rhinestone hat that says in giant blinged out letters across the top sexy and i feel like it really just embodies the spirit of today you know i slept in i got a bunch of really fucking good sleep which was nice my brain feels nice and juicy and rested and rehydrated whatever it's doing when i'm asleep reconnected you know refiring those neurons love to hear it woke up chugged a little bit of coffee listened to the rain hit my window now i'm sitting here with you guys we're about to smoke i'm gonna go get pho after this little late afternoon little snack and then I'm basically just gonna fucking

kick it until later tonight when I'm gonna go get new nails it's new nail time thank god oh my god I loved my little birthday nails you guys remember the nail cam from beginning of June my little butterfly nails but I lost one and when you lose a nail the girls who get it they get it it's like I need to rip all of them off I need a new set meow so shout out to Megan I love you at nails by meg so if you need a good tech in kansas city she fit me in for a little after hours appointment so i'll be heading over to her place at eight to go get that done i'm gonna be getting some lana del rey inspired nails so stay tuned follow the instagram at hannah marlene if you want to see what i get but i will show you on next week's episode um and i just posted a little recipe for

you all this morning it's a yummy heirloom capri sandwich um honestly i've been making this for lunch i just make a giant fucking baguette of it and then i cut off a little slice every day and re-throw it back into the oven and it is the most perfect sandwich meal summer lunch to ever exist get that fat ass mozzarella slices on there get that fresh basil home make a pesto if you're feeling like it i posted that recipe too with some heirloom tomatoes in the oven cheesy warm deliciousness oh don't get me started i'm already getting hungry anyways i don't have much to catch you guys up on this week i've really just been getting in the swing of things um i am feeling a little bit of like that spring cleaning energy but it's mid-summer for some reason i missed the memo

in the spring so i've been trying to purge this fucking house um and just get rid of all the shit that i don't need because i'm a hoarder i'm a hoarder and listen step number one is acceptance all right i'm a hoarder and everything has sentimental value to me because i'm a big hearted little baby. And listen, that's amazing. And that's wonderful. But also sometimes that means you don't have to keep that gum wrapper. Babe, babe, let her go set her free. So I've been trying to do that. And I think the universe has been listening to me because she is going to make it rain for the next three days. So shout out to her. I will be getting to work. I promise you mother. But yeah, we're gonna smoke. We're gonna hang out. We're gonna chit chat. And we're gonna

do a little bit of question roulette. I'm gonna try and get through as many questions as I possibly can um just because i feel like the last couple of episodes i've gotten through a lot but i want to like get to as many as possible those are some of your favorite episodes and those are some of my favorite episodes so let's get right into it ladies and gentlemen all righty someone asked feelings about summer um honestly my feelings about summer are always great 10 out of 10 my birthday month falls in the summer it was always my favorite season growing up i mean like come on who's it's everybody's favorite season you know what I mean although that's probably not true I know some of you little emo girlies out there are like I love winter I love being outside and valid

good for you somebody has to love it you know but for me I am a micro shorts micro dress no bra hair braided sweating sweating tan tan lines fresh summer lemonade hot kind of girl okay and I i just love summer and so this summer i've really been trying to be intentional about like taking advantage of it and really living out the best summer possible so then when the fall comes around and this the winter you know where i'm locked inside in this jail cell of what it feels like an apartment um i have fun little memories to look back on and appreciate and give hope and renewness to next summer um i also feel like when it comes to the winter blues having plans for next summer like having a vacation that you're actively planning over the winter is a great way

to kind of build hype and make the winter feel less chaotic or less confining um so that's amazing but yeah feelings about summer 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 the fourth of july is coming up babes this is probably gonna be my fourth of july outfit i will probably be repeating this me and my boyfriend are gonna just like i think go to the skate park and grill out there's always like a punk show going on there so that'll be fun we're gonna go buy a shit ton of fireworks and just go light it off and it's really nice because the uh skate park is at the top very top hill of kansas city so you can look over the entire city and um it's just fireworks going off everywhere everywhere it's kind of the spot to be so i'll be going and doing that i'm gonna make a shit ton of jello

shots for the skate park and we're just gonna vibe eat some hot dogs maybe some hamburgers jello shot it up enjoy um i feel like that's what the fourth of july is all about is just like indulgence and lighting shit on fire come on now maybe a hot dog you know that american spirit the true american spirit scary anyways fourth of july i feel like it's always like peak summertime feelings peak summertime you know energy um because we just had the summer solstice so we're like a couple weeks in it's hot we're sweaty we have like a day off from our regular work week and everybody just goes crazy and gets drunk and eats greasy food so I feel like that is peak summer energy and I'm very excited to tap into that and also make a little bit of jello

shot but yeah feelings about summer 10 out of 10 can you talk about standing up for yourself as a non-confrontational person yeah yes I can listen I have was a very very sensitive non-confrontational child I don't really know why I think I was just born that way I was born a little extra sensitive not only towards myself but also everybody else around me and that's what made me special actually I was talking to my co-worker about this and I think that was a symptom of ADHD as a child was just like getting really overwhelmed by the little things and it's so funny because ADHD symptoms show up completely differently in women than they do in men because my dad had severe adhd like severe adhd and so did my brother like on medication since a child kind of adhd listen

you would think okay father he has adhd he passes it down to brother who has adhd i'm giving off some sort of weird symptom like quality let's get her tested i go in for testing i ace the testing I do fantastic are you kidding me because guess what they're not testing women correctly my ADHD manifested in certain ways where I was like hypersensitive to noises hypersensitive to the way people were speaking hypersensitive to the way people were talking to me experiencing things my connection to things fabrics noises everything I was very very hypersensitive and that manifested in a lot of ways because it wasn't treated properly where it became a little bit debilitating in the way I interacted with people and one of those ways was people pleasing

and always always always pleasing them them them them so that I wasn't overstimulated even though it was making me also overstimulated and it really was debilitating because I was always putting someone else ahead of me in order to kind of feel a little bit of peace but when you're also always chasing peace for someone else you're constantly going to be chasing you're constantly going to be feeling unfulfilled whereas if you're chasing peace for yourself that's a piece that you can actually find and that's a piece that you can actually create for yourself okay so please please understand that when it comes to people pleasing qualities and wanting to make sure that everybody else around you is good that is a great quality to have yes but if it becomes so debilitating where

you are putting yourself aside and constantly uplifting people in a way that they are not even doing for your for themselves you are going to be chasing yourself in circles until you fucking pass out and die and it is not worth it baby girl that shit is not worth it okay so sometimes that means you're gonna have to speak up for yourself sometimes that means you're gonna have to put yourself ahead of other people and let me tell you this that is okay i'm here to tell you that shit is okay all right it doesn't mean you're a bad person it doesn't mean you are being selfish it doesn't mean blah blah blah all these things people like to put in your head it means that you are the only person that is going to be with you for the rest of your life and you need to stand

up for yourself and you need to be there for yourself and if anybody takes it the wrong way bitch let them let them okay you're a non-confrontational person you like to please other people you want to make sure they're doing okay but what about you is anybody doing that for you no because they're already doing it for themselves that's how it's supposed to be you need to be doing that for yourself you have to kind of like act as your own best friend in a way that's really how i was able to kind of like separate myself from the anxiety and the people pleasing tendencies where it was like okay i'm gonna step out of hannah for a second and i'm gonna step into like this other version of hannah who is like her best friend her protector and i'm

going to behave in the kind of way that I think she would behave in order to uplift those qualities that Hannah truly deserves and that's how I kind of like separated myself from the people-pleasing tendencies in order to be confrontational and say things that were on my mind and speak up for myself and honestly 10 out of 10 recommend okay if you are having a hard time uh stepping up for yourself or believing in yourself or kind of like confronting a certain situation that ultimately is best for you to confront. Remove yourself from the situation and step into the person of a protector, of a watcher, of wanting to be better for yourself. Step into that person and act as how she would behave, okay? I guarantee it'll give you a lot of confidence to be able to actually

confront the situation and go after what you want. When you are non-confrontational, when you are not speaking your mind, when you are not saying what's on your mind, when you are not voicing your opinions or your beliefs or whatever it is in that situation you are pushing yourself down but also you are not allowing the person in front of you to actually give them an opportunity to behave correctly a lot of people pleasing qualities is pushing yourself down but also distancing the connection that you're having with others because you want to control the situation you can't ever control the situation the best thing you can do is allow people to be themselves and allow you to be yourself if you are not allowing other people to understand you what's going on even if it is the

negative things then they are not going to be able to make adequate changes adjustments or help you in the way that is actually necessary so you withholding that information and not being confrontational and not saying what's on your mind guess what everybody else around you doesn't know that's fucking going on because you didn't say anything you didn't say anything stand up for yourself believe in yourself be your own best friend we are getting rid of people pleasing this summer we're being a little more selfish yes but we're acting in a way our best friend would for ourself you have to be your own protector at the end of the day who do we have with us when we die the only guaranteed person is yourself so show up be that bad bitch that you deserve to be

speak up for yourself allow people to know you in that way allow people to want to be better for you in order to understand you and uplift you and support you but i love you i love you be confrontational fuck it you know what i mean if people take confrontation the wrong way well a come correct don't be an asshole when it comes to confrontation don't just be like a mean person all the time but like if you're speaking real concerns and thoughts to people those people should take that shit seriously and if they don't take it seriously move on move on allow yourself to be misunderstood if they don't get it they don't get it but it's not your fucking job to convince them most people when it comes to confrontation and you come correct though

they will be understanding that they will show up for you they will support you allow yourself to be supported someone said visiting my family and they keep talking about weight and food hashtag triggered hashtag help oh girl i get it i get it when i visit my dad's side of the family i'm like they're gonna say some crazy shit to my face and you know what you say you know what you say i learned this from the service industry you know what you say to people when they come at you with something fucking wild to say where you're like where am i like it has you spinning in circles looking around for a fucking camera you look them in the eyes and you go what a strange thing to say to somebody and you walk away you walk away i highly recommend doing that i will do that to

family i will let you reflect on those words that just came out of your mouth because bitch i don't have the time to unpack all the shit you just dropped on me you know what i mean so i'm gonna let you sit with those emotions and feelings and i'm gonna remove myself from the situation always i'm afraid to go chase my dreams because i feel like they're just too big sometimes what to do your dreams aren't feeling big because yes at right now they're dreams they're dreams and dreams are always large they should be large you should be dreaming as big as possible when it comes to taking on a big project or achieving a large dream it does feel a little bit unapproachable though because of course you're like that's something that i'm gonna achieve in 5 10 15 plus

years how do i behave now what do i do now to take that first step towards that big dream because that shit ain't gonna happen overnight let me tell you that the one thing you can do to make your dreams a reality and i kind of mentioned this kind of dissociative skill but also healthy dissociative skill when it comes to confrontation stepping into this different version of yourself you have to do that on a daily basis you need to be on a daily basis stepping into your dream version of you shoes I talk about this manifestation technique a lot where it comes to script writing and I highly recommend doing this I do this about once a year maybe a couple times a year if I find my dreams changing or my life shifting where I stop and I sit with myself and I imagine myself

five, 10, 15 years from now and that big dream that I'm having and I script write every single detail possible that I can. Okay, where does she live? What does she look like? What does her apartment look like? What is her morning routine? Let me get into the details. Bitch, what color are her toes painted? Like every single detail possible. I dream, I script write it all out, I start small, I work big. Does she have a boyfriend? Does she have a girlfriend? How long have they been dating are they in love is she single you know what are her friends like what people does she attract what does she eat like literally get into the details as a way of manifestation as a way of script writing out your dream that will give you a little bit more of a

grasp on this identity and this person that you want to become and then to become that person every single day you wake up and you show up as her you step into her shoes okay you use that day to get one little step forward towards that person that you want to become but if you are just waiting around for her to show up and pop up in your skin bitch that shit ain't gonna happen it isn't and you're gonna be waiting around forever so you might as well start now okay if like the one thing she does in the morning is like different from now start implementing that okay well she eats this let me start implementing that oh she paints her nails this color let me start implementing that oh she's single and i'm in a relationship maybe that says something about

my relationship. Maybe let's work on that. Start every day slowly stepping into the little tiny things that you were script writing about and use that as a guide to become and to achieve all of your dreams. Dreams are supposed to feel big. You're supposed to aim big. That's why I talk about dreaming a lot. You should be dreaming your dream. I mean, everybody's dream is going to look different. I don't want to shit on anybody's dream, but your dream is supposed to be big. it's supposed to feel unreachable that's okay doesn't mean you're never gonna reach it like right now i want to go to tokyo does it feel like i will ever do that no but i know it's gonna happen one day i know i'm gonna fucking figure it out eventually um but i have to start now slowly

working my way there stepping into my dream shoes stepping into that stream persona stepping into that dream routine and eventually in five years you will find yourself looking around thinking holy shit i did it like wait a minute throwback five years ago when i was sitting down dreaming of the life that i'm now living and let me give you a little testament i opened up my journal the other week and i was going through it and i was looking through it and i came across the script writing page that i had done um where i was probably 21 at the time i was living in a house with four girls it was chaotic and i all i wanted was some peace and quiet to make my own like make my own job make my own room have a space where i felt comfortable supported uplifted i was reading

that and the amount of details in that script writing that i am now living was ooky spooky scary it was it made me do a double take and look around my apartment I was like I want an apartment with large open windows and a old historic building with a beautiful tiling around it bitch look at this green tiling hello I want plants hanging from every area hello I want a space where I can create art hello like the amount of details that I was putting into that script writing that had come true subconsciously i was just creating that life for myself insane insane you need a top manifestation technique dream big script write it all out get into the details wake up step into her shoes in five years you'll be walking in them

i love you anyways cheers let's smoke a little bit to that cheers to living our dream lives becoming our dream selves smoking good weed and looking sexy as fuck doing it kisses let's hit this how do i deal with brain fog slash not feeling present in my life oh i think you would be a great candidate for med uh i was about to say medication that is not what i meant meditation i think you'd be a great candidate for meditation i don't meditate a lot because i feel overly present in my life um and i feel like when i start meditating um like the kind of meditating where it's like i'm on a yoga mat in my house listening to the sounds around me sitting with myself and my thoughts i start to go a little crazy because i'm already doing that at a constant

basis all the fucking time okay but if you don't do that and you have a very hard time doing that connecting to the world around you not feeling present in your life here is dr hannah's remedy for you a what you're going to do is i if you're a girl alone i highly recommend bringing a friend with you for this if you ever go into a strange forest you know hiking alone make sure somebody has your location make sure somebody knows where you are or bring a friend with you always that's just a little psa not to scare you i find myself feeling so much more connected to myself and the world around me when i'm in nature especially living in the city sometimes i'm like i need to get the fuck away from these cars i need to get the fuck away from these cars and these sirens

the random fireworks going off and the shit that's going on constantly i need to escape the chaos and the best place to do that is running away to the woods that's why you bitch you always see me there i'm always there but once again make sure somebody knows where you are make sure they have your location make sure bring a friend with you be like hey girl let's go meditate in the world in the woods i guarantee your friend's gonna be like fuck yeah bitch let's go anyways when i escape to nature even if it's just like a local park surrounded by fucking cars whatever as long as i'm in nature and i sit there and i take five to ten deep breaths i'm immediately gonna start feeling myself connect a little bit more to the world around me and to myself and whatever inner

dialogue is going on that i haven't been connecting to okay escape a little bit escape a little bit if i try to meditate right here in this chair i wouldn't be able to do so because my brain would be like oh my god i need to do the dishes i need to do this i need to do that i'm uncomfortable I'm hearing the dripping from my faucet like it'd be overwhelming put yourself into a new environment do some meditation now meditation looks different for everybody for me personally meditation is me deep breathing in order to slow my thoughts down as somebody who has suffered with anxiety for a long time the best quick easy remedy that I can give you is having a good breathing technique. Taking deep breaths in, filling your lungs up all the way, breathing out

all the way, and then physically imagining breathing in all the good, bringing in all the positivity, breathing out all the negativity, and having that visualization while also breathing technique while also in a new environment specifically a calm one girl you're gonna feel so good i've been doing this actually quite often with my boyfriend um we've been just running off to the woods and hanging out by the river and just floating in our little tubes with our eyes closed doing our breathing techniques and 10 out of 10 recommend it's making me feel so much more connected with myself that inner dialogue understanding it feeling out where I am and where I want to go things like that getting rid of anxiety stepping into peace I think meditation

would be so good for you and meditation can look different for everybody I am a big proponent that meditation doesn't have to be on the ground doing breathing techniques you know what I mean my dad's form of meditation is going to the gym and working out for like an hour and a half every day everybody's meditation is going to look different your meditation could be escaping into painting and drawing and into your creative side things like this tapping out and tapping in okay everybody's meditation looks different all of our brains are going to look different that's why i'm such a big proponent of hobbies i think hobbies and getting into hobbies is simply getting into meditation getting into something that you feel passionate about and specifically passionate about and

connecting to yourself rather than connecting to the world around you and the chaos around you so important so important try it out if you feel like you are overly anxious that the world is too much you don't know what to do you're not able to connect with yourself escape a little bit find something that gets you to tap into what's going on inside yourself and that inner monologue and just allow yourself to feel breathe in breathe out deep breathing exercises if that's your thing for me love especially for my anxiety like it's such a quick fix I'll be at work and I'll be like oh my god two Red Bulls in I'm like doing it to myself we're like hitting a rush in the restaurant two Red Bulls in no food probably because I'm just running around and I'll like hit a wall where

I'm like oh I just felt a wave of anxiety take over you know what I'll take a moment step the fuck into the bathroom take some deep breaths in out in out you know what get right back into that fucking rush and kill it it is such a quick easy fix some girlies have been talking about like dumping their face in ice water but that's just like hard to find sometimes and also oh then i have to deal with like water afterwards that's gonna piss me off let me just fucking take some deep breaths you know um and if you are looking for like how or where look up the youtube tutorials the youtube videos i found a couple that i really like maybe i'll share them on the patreon on um that will give you different breathing techniques things like that highly highly

recommend i also feel like if you're not feeling present in your life it's okay to tap in i feel like you're so used to being tapped out kind of like that people-pleasing method that you kind of like lose yourself in the chaos of it all it's okay to focus on yourself for a little bit it's okay to be like i need to log off i need to step out i need to see what's going on inside because I haven't checked on her in a while and girl I can't find her let me take a step away let me go back to the basics let me focus on me let me focus on what I used to enjoy maybe try out new hobbies things that will get you into that meditative state the disconnecting from the outside and into the inside in a positive way and let's just discover let's just connect it's okay to like

take a moment to focus on yourself to like put your job on the back burner for a little bit to put your friends in the back burner for a little bit put your family in the back burner for a little bit and take care of yourself like it's okay to take time for yourself and also most importantly to focus on yourself a little bit once again we're the only people we live and die with make sure you're treating her well i love you okay also outfit check i'm loving this little striped dress that i got from brandy she ate honestly i was looking for something listen summer right now my go-to favorite things are just like tiny little dresses that I can just throw on with a pair of shoes preferably a pair of red flip-flops I've been loving it anyways tiny little pink

stripe brandy dress situation I got it on Depop so I don't really know if they have it in store right now um heart-shaped sunglasses I got from the thrift store sexy rhinestone hat I did get off amazon and then my jelly cat i love having a jelly cat here i also have like three other ones so maybe i'll rotate them out but avocado has been loving it here he was my first jelly cat shout out love him oh tips with gals with uh stomach problems illy i only knew one girl with like severe stomach problems i mean i've had some problems on and off but the one girl that I really knew with stomach problems it was because she she was like um I think I have Crohn's disease and I was like oh my god girl what like what are you talking about and I was like well

what are you eating on a daily basis and she was like I'm like ramen and nachos and pickled jalapenos and I'm like when's the last time you ate some like fiber when was the last time you had like lettuce a salad something green babe like you need the fiber and anyways that's literally what it was like she did not have Crohn's that's for sure it was because she was eating things that were not going to be solid coming out like practical practical things but the gals with like real stomach problems where it's like no no this is like a medical issue valid I hear you especially as a server I feel like girls will be like I have celiac and I'm like okay vibe I will take care of you I will make sure you have a good experience I promise you because I understand how

annoying that could be where it's like oh i just want to feel good or i want to be able to eat these things but i can't and i know i'm gonna have a bad night if i do or maybe a couple days i'm like girl we are not creating that for you let me take care of you i love it i love it because sometimes bitch sometimes your body's just gonna react badly to things and maybe it's gluten and that's okay let's cut it out i do also understand how like people in america will have problems with like very basic items such as cheese and bread and processing them but then they'll go overseas like Italy or something and it's like oh my god I'm eating pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner and I'm feeling perfectly fine it's like yeah bitch that makes a lot of sense because the things here

highly processed highly processed already broken down baby your stomach is just gonna pass it through there's nothing else to break down you know what I mean but they're handmade you know grandma's recipe we're making that fresh every day and I recently started working at a restaurant where they kind of do that a little more often like hand making the dough and firing it in a wood fire oven every single day and i'm like you know what i'm feeling so much better eating this because it's simple it's easy handmade fresh my body can process it way way way better um and that's why i started making cooking videos a lot because i realized a great form of meditation i can just escape and cook and do my little thing and then i get something yummy afterwards fantastic

but also all the things that you're buying and spending so much money on you can make at home for cheaper and feel better after eating it and probably have leftovers you can have again and not have to spend 25 i love cooking for that reason but i think if you're having really bad gut problems or anything like that a practical water fiber things like that make sure you're eating a getting a little bit of protein in there um and then if it's like serious don't be afraid to go to the doctor don't be afraid to switch things up like it's gonna it's not gonna suck as much as you think having to kind of get rid of certain things um because you're gonna feel so much better for it if that's what's really a problem and also 10 out of 10 recommend for

every single person out there start cooking i love cooking okay do you know how easy it is to make pasta from scratch with like a cup of flour and two eggs maybe a little olive oil you can make anything you want in that kitchen i promise you bitch nara smith is out here making gum showing us it's possible i'm like i love it why does why do people hate her i'm like you know what she's doing it in the vintage chanel too props honestly now the mormonism that's questionable oh my gosh someone said feel like my body count is so high what do i do love you um listen i don't know why you're tracking it do you know what i mean body count is literally just a made-up thing that men can use on women they don't know to control them that every man can use on women they don't know

to control them and free yourself honestly who cares as long as you are a being safe protection please hello be having fun okay that's literally what it's about as long as you are having a good time and creating a safe environment then that's literally all that matters okay okay as long as you are being safe and having fun the literal sole purpose then who the fuck cares love you can you talk about holding on to hope during lows and not being scared during highs illy girl i feel like you're talking about which obviously you made this clear but like just being able to see the other side of things especially when you're at that high peak and you're like oh my god i could lose this at any second or when you're at that low peak and you're like this feels like

the worst does it really get better it really is all about seeing the other side of the coin and yes holding on to hope and a lot of mine simply just comes from there is a lesson in everything there's a lesson and something to learn in everything I learned the most about myself when I was at those really low points and I have been able to become a better person because of those really low points that I had and everything is a learning moment everything is giving you an opportunity to take this and be better and that creates so much hope for me when I'm at a low and also maintains that hope when I'm at a high where it's like you know what this is great and sure it could go sideways at any moment i could start having a bad day

but there's something to learn in that moment always always you'll always have something to take from it so even if you do hit that low it's okay as long as you learn you grow and you change and try to do the best that you possibly can in that moment it's okay to have hard times it's okay to you know regress a little bit but you will find yourself at a new height that you've never been able to reach because of that low point so there's always something to take from it um and yeah i feel like that's the best way i really maintain hope during you know those phases in life where you feel like either a can it get any better or b can it get any worse it's like you will learn something and you will do better and you will reach new heights that you have never reached

ever in your life and it's gonna feel so great so hold on and do the best that you possibly can always simple ways to grow the fuck up and start adulting i feel like i have no idea where to start oh girl i feel like i just started adulting this year i feel like i hit 25 and i'm like oh my god i'm thinking so practically i'm looking at zillow every night like the price of houses and like what i'm gonna have to do to afford them it's crazy so a if you don't find yourself there like that's okay you'll get there eventually I feel like it just took my brain fully forming to be like oh I need to pay attention to these things I feel like 20 to 25 was really just me learning how to be in the adult sphere and kind of finding myself in a way um college is really nice because

it's like a four-year program that a gets you a degree and b helps you find yourself semi I guess in four years um if you focus on that at all um but i do find a lot of college students hit that 21 or 22 graduate then they're like wait but who am i 20 to 25 is all about finding yourself in any single situation that you're in okay um so don't compare yourself to others focus on yourself focus on finding who you are what you want to be most importantly during that time trying new things I think the whole trying new things part of that phase is really just it's always gonna make you feel a little unstable because you're always putting yourself out there and into new things that's okay it's gonna be a little bit of an unstable time you're really not gonna know

anything but you're discovering everything and that's the most important part you hit 25 your brain just like literally I woke up and I was like oh girl I need health insurance oh girl I need a house if I want to have kids one day which like shit I'm not ready for that but like one day I need to have like a stable income a stable environment things like that like not only hoping for myself but like the betterment of me in the future and I was like oh shit I gotta start adulting oh no I need to start like budgeting adulting number one actually budgeting your life focusing on your finances checking those bank statements babe okay where is that random five dollars going who knows let's cancel that subscription let's only make sure we're

prioritizing money on things that are bettering our life having fun still but also like being aware most importantly b let's like make sure healthily we're taken care of let's start to eat good maybe let's start to move our body a little bit more and not drink so many days like cut back a little bit focus on stretching those joints you know what I mean um making sure we have health insurance all right making sure we have that dental plan just in case that eye care plan so when you run out of contacts you're not spending so much money on it like let's start planning ahead a little bit making sure we have a little bit of like backup security adulting is really all about just like finding security in whatever form that is for you so focus on what really matters to you like for

me it was finances it's health it's like home things like that but for everybody like their level of security is going to look different so go after i feel like the best way to really jump into adulting and actually build momentum is to start with things that you actually want to start with you know everybody will say to start with something different but like whatever you feel drawn to figuring out it's gonna be easier to figure out so start with whatever you feel like you need to start with whether it's okay finding a place that maybe i'll want to live a couple years finding health insurance finding a good stable income like shopping for new jobs things like that and just take it one step at a time like you'll get there i know by 30 i'm gonna be like

chilling but i'm not gonna be 30 in this next fucking second like i have five years let me chill let me just enjoy and slowly figure it out on my own time um because you will i promise you will figure it all out find peace in that adult affirmation i will figure it out okay but also it's not gonna happen overnight step into that dream self of yours and achieve what you want to achieve also i've been getting a lot of new uh listeners hi happy to have you here hope you're enjoying love that i have okay i have been making this podcast for like this next like fall is gonna be my four years oh that's crazy that's crazy actually maybe three i don't know i need to do the math but it's it's gonna be a lot of years that's insane so happy i've provided so much

content for you i've changed a lot i've grown a lot like oh my gosh looking back on the different episodes i've done is so interesting and i love like being able to not only connect with you guys but connect to my old self i've also covered so many topics but also we're just breaking the iceberg babe i'm gonna be yapping like this for forever so i'm happy to have you here on the journey please share a little love leave a little five-star review kisses um but welcome to the smoke sesh i'm so happy to have you guys here oh how the turntables have turned lmao how do i tell my sneaky that's in love with me that i don't want anything serious help oh my gosh okay listen usually i feel like it's the girls going through this where it's like he doesn't love me but i'm

obsessed with him so i love that you're like no no he's overly obsessed with me and i need to tell him to chill i think you need to say something first because he's not going to say something first and if he does say something first it's going to be like i love you and that's going to be scary so i would just let break the iceberg as soon as you possibly can okay i don't even know if i would invite him over you know this is not like a post-sex topic of conversation to have this is especially if you're not dating and you're very casually seeing each other i think this is a text message you could send honestly just for safety's purpose you know just be like uh you know in face that's gonna be pretty rough maybe a face time if you're feeling it but if this is

like a very casual relationship that you've had i feel like you can break it in a very casual way now if you have leaned into the girlfriend side of things and you're like whoops actually i am the problem i was the one doing the girlfriend things in not a girlfriend situation and he accidentally fell in love with me then maybe i would do it face to face quickly eat over coffee perhaps like very chill but then i would maybe do it face to face um just for his heart but yeah i think you can just be like hey babe been having a lot of fun loved it love ya very don't say love you let's not include that loved it had a great time but i think things are getting a little too serious for me i made it clear to you early on that i wanted to keep this casual and i really

don't want to hurt you and i feel like you're maybe getting a little too deep so i think it is best to maybe step away for a little bit or if you are able to maybe like reconsider the situation and still want to be very casual maybe set a little bit more boundaries we don't do the girlfriend boyfriend pretend thing then we can keep hooking up and hanging out you know but it's okay to rip that band-aid off okay don't drag this man along he's gonna get infatuated so cut it off clean quick precise i guarantee it'll go better than you probably expected someone said have you ever had to get out of nicotine addiction i have i've done longer episodes on it i smoked for five years listen i was a little lana del rey tumblr baby kid and i

was like i need to roll this herbal tea up in a sticky note and smoke it babe i was gonna have problems i was going to have an addictive personality if i was doing that at like 11 12 hello like let's be fucking real so yeah i started smoking cigarettes in high school casually i wanted to live my lana del rey fantasy smoking outside secretly away from my parents you know i was edgy i was like feeling myself she was cute you know but then it kind of spiraled because the jewel came out babe talk about archaic talk about feeling old the jewel came out the first ever original before like the box mods everybody had like box mods and then the jewel came out and everybody was like fuck that i'm not building my own vape this isn't bob the fucking builder

let me go get the 70 kit yes when the jewels came out there was 70 at the local gas station and our asses had to drive across town where it was like 18 and we could get nicotine because actually out here it's 21 so we had to go to the one town like 20 20 30 minutes away that was 18 years old because they wouldn't card us because they didn't give a fuck buy our jewels and then i was addicted to a jewels and cigarettes at the same time scary for four plus years so into a grand total probably like five six years i was smoking nicotine and it made me sad depressed anxious it made my acne worse it made me lethargic all the things that you're feeling and asking yourself oh is it the nicotine yes yes it is and you'll quit and you will feel so much fucking

better unfortunately i was also addicted to a bunch of other things the way i broke it was by just like getting shit-faced and then this was not on purpose but getting shit-faced and then smoking a cigarette outside a bar like leaning over and then i would get the spins and then i would vom you know and then i pavlov dogs myself you know pavlov dog conditioning where it's like you're conditioning them to the sound of a bell and they have a certain reaction yeah babe that was me if i smoked a cigarette i feel like i was going to vom vom not good anyways i can't smoke them now at all like even on the girls trip after the cowboy bar i was doing my cigarette lean thing and i immediately went home and protected all vomited like it just we

don't get along anymore and honestly thank god thank god but you can quit you can do it yes all the things you're feeling is from nicotine you will feel better getting off it i promise i promise oh this is fun thought oh wait hi hannah i love you so much starting work as a shot girl and never worked in a bar before any tips oh i do have tips especially as a girl working in nightlife who prioritizes feeling safe and prioritizes other women feeling safe okay you need to well a when you show up to work you need to it's like this is a joke this is a joke it's like going to prison but it's like you need to get in there and you need to befriend the meanest toughest bitch that you can possibly find okay because she will have your back and she will ride for you she'll be the

best friend you ever had she'll be basically a mother to you that's who you need to find she is the best person to have on your side in any sort of situation treat your bouncers well tip them well make sure you tip out everybody in your restaurant well make sure you help everybody out it is a community effort make sure you're taking care of the people that you work with and creating that like family environment people will take care of you in turn i mean that's how it is everywhere you go like even with community that's why it's so important to treat your neighbors nicely because it's like bitch if you want to be treated nicely you better treat me nicely you know what i mean we better take care of each other or else i'm not gonna want to give

you know um so a do that and b a make sure you're safe make sure somebody's walking to your car make sure especially if you're out late at night make sure you're not just like alone walking down an alley you know make sure somebody has your location practical practical women advice um and then also when it comes to taking care of your tables and your patrons a little laugh and smile goes a long way even if it feels like you know you are not wanting to laugh and smile at all um sometimes you just gotta laugh at that dad joke and be like lol okay fucking ben have a great day you know get that 20 get that 25 um and if you don't know what to say just laugh and smile and walk away you can always walk away from a table they it doesn't matter you'll get another one

you know what i mean if it's gonna be too much of a hassle it's okay to save your brain space and like walk away so funny my new boss was talking about this he's like if you think they're gonna give us a one-star review bitch kick them out like there's some people who are dead set on having a bad time and making sure you are too they're just miserable there's nothing you can really do about it sometimes just walking away is the best option possible um lol that made me giggle though um but yeah take care of the people around you make sure you're taking care of yourself making sure you're staying hydrated fed things like that and then make sure you're just like taking care of your patrons you know doing the best you can to fill them in on what's going

on if drink times are taking longer than usual talking to them getting to know them if they feel connected to you they're gonna want to tip you more period every time every time anyways i also think i handle the restaurant industry well because i pretend every time i'm going into work i'm lana del rey and her little waffle house button up clocking into work like lol i'm flipping pancakes today and that's exactly how seriously i take it because i'm really just there to have fun and make money and if i'm not having fun then fuck it like this isn't the career i want to do this is just like a little side gig i do because i'm crazy and i have to have 15 avenues of work for some reason i'm a gemini i need to be busy okay um it's also my shopping addiction but yeah

i'm lana del rey clocking into waffle house like i'm here to play pretend and have a good time and oh my god and i get to leave with 300 400 500 that's a win-win to me oh someone said how to be involved in nature in my own hometown community gardens community gardens you need to get in the community garden community okay babe you need to get a plot you need to get some seeds some dirt and you need to get out there with the grandmas and go dig around you know what i mean or go to your local park and like go at 7 p.m after you got off work and had a shower and like chilled out and you're like in sweats take a little fucking blanket to the park and just sit in the park and people watch you know that is a great way to just like get connected to the nature that you have in

your hometown maybe you have more nature and you're lucky and you can go on like hikes and trail rides and things like that go do them go do them like i was in montana and i was like i wonder if these people take this shit for granted like hello yellowstone is an hour away i'd be there at least every weekend hello get me the year-long park pass let me get my ass in there let me get on a trail let me go hiking we do not really have that out here we have random swimming holes and lots of prairies and fields and you know what i'll do the best with what i can especially in the city where it's like no nature unless you go like 30 minutes out i'm like i'll take the two block-sized park whatever there's a bunch of people here everybody seems to be having fun

let me go lay around or i'll take the random parking lot that's now filled with grass that everybody's growing plants out of and i'm gonna go connect with my local community and grow some yummy food there that's the best way to really take advantage of nature wherever you are you can do that anywhere someone said my birthday is coming up and i'm really not feeling like planning anything solo b-day adventures okay you know how you know the meme who where it's like who got a pool i feel like that's big cancer energy right now like that meme is a sign of the astrological times we're in it's like everybody wants to be in water everybody wants to be laid out in the sun basking like a little crab on a rock okay we want to be living our little crab

lives and if you're a little cancer baby and your birthday is coming up there's this website and i'm sorry i don't fucking remember it but if you google uh pool rental there are houses that rent their pool to you by the hour and honestly it's probably like the ones that i was thinking about going to with like my boyfriend and maybe some friends it's like 25 to maybe 75 if it has like a rock slide cave like crazy things going on and you can rent it for like an hour and you can just go and swim and do your thing if that's someone's house i know that seems kind of weird so like of course girl safety make sure somebody knows where you are bring a couple friends with you you know split it between you guys would be like 10 bucks each and go swimming for an hour or if you have a pool like

girl pack a cooler pack a sandwich pack a book um and just go lay out in the sun and go hang out by the pool i feel like that would be the best way to spend a cancer birthday or i love just a good meal by myself like i love a good like a meal that i've been craving for a long time in front of because you cancer babies are so sentimental while watching like something that you used to watch as a kid something that you brings back the nostalgia factor of everything oh the sun is starting to come out you guys i didn't think it was going to get sunny today it was pouring rain this morning it was literally just like rolling me back to sleep every single time i woke up thus the 11 30 in the afternoon wake up call hello but then i checked the radar and it was

like no bright sun at two o'clock maybe i will get to tan today you guys maybe god is good what in all caps how to get over a breakup i just got broken up with i am sobbing on a train right now babe i love you i love you let's take some deep breaths actually no no that's not what you tell girl who just got broken up with not the deep breaths that is I would rage literally you need to go a little crazy I think the best way to heal after a breakup is to like it's okay to go insane it's okay to lose your mind a little bit to like sob and roll around on the floor and do whatever you need to do go out get drunk with your friends like whatever it is it's okay to lose your mind a little bit actually i think it's healthy especially when you've been like holding in the demons your

whole relationship trying to be the perfect girlfriend like girl go lose your mind and go enjoy go make sure you're having the best time possible that is the ultimate best way to get out of a breakup or get over a breakup is just to be like okay i'm gonna go fucking crazy now and i'm gonna go to the club i'm gonna go party and i'm gonna hang out with my friends i'm gonna go flirt and i'm gonna go do all the things that i couldn't do my relationship because i was being so so good and i was the best girlfriend ever and still that wasn't enough let me go crazy let me go lose it that's how you get over a breakup lean into the crazy girl okay miss girl interrupted let's get into our girl interrupted summer no i'm joking someone said tips for posing in photos the posing

is easy you know you turn a little shoulder you smile you pout you adjust your head you move your shoulders you know things like that you turn your back you just keep moving around that's the best tip for posing in photos but what it's all about are really the angles the angles are everything you gotta know your angles babe okay you want to eat in every photo you gotta know your angles all right i was watching zendaya walked on the red carpet the one of these days and i was like oh my god she never turns her head from this one position no matter what she's doing her head is always like at the perfect angle and i was like she just knows it she knows her angle she knows what looks good so know your angles and also when you're this is foolproof foolproof this is the

instructions you give whoever is taking photos of you you give them your phone and you say okay bend down like get at hold your hold the phone in front of you but like get down on the level as if you were on your knees and then aim the camera at my ass aim it at my ass aim it at my hips okay because then it's going to be tilted a little bit back you're going to look a little bit taller a little snatch it's going to get like a wide angle of everything around you okay it's going to get like a full angle of the environment that you're in and then make sure you're taking up like two thirds tell them make sure you're taking up two thirds of the screen actually do you know what i do well a that but also I will literally hold the camera exactly where I want someone to take

photos and I'll be like okay hold the camera exactly like this and press the button can't mess it up can't mess it up at all anyways I was talking serving this table at brunch and it was like this guy and this girl who were I don't know friends question mark I don't really know but they were cutie they were serving and I came out and she goes okay we're having a little bit of a tiff can you settle it for us like we're having an argument can you settle it and oh that's as a server that's the worst fucking thing i want to hear because bitch there is no right answer one of you is paying and one of you wants to be right and it better i better give the answer of whoever is paying if i want a good tip so instead of saying that out loud i just go okay but will my

my answer affect my tip and then they'll have like a little laugh jokey moment and then it's like no know like me stating like please don't pay me less money because you don't agree with me or i don't agree with you but she was like if there was a girl who only took bad photos of you would you be a little like side eye would you question it a little bit and i was like well some girls just like don't know how to take photos they just hold the camera and they snap a photo like they're not really looking for the best angle because oh they see you perfectly in every angle do you know what i mean like sometimes they don't mean to do it sometimes they just can't take good photos that's okay that's valid that doesn't mean she's a bad friend or whatever she goes no she only takes bad

photos of me every time she takes a photo of someone else it's like hot sexy instagram model worthy like great angles she's getting on her knees she's going over the top to take photos of them but when she takes photos of me it's like only bad ones like she doesn't care and i was like you know what that that seems a little intentional i'm not gonna lie that seems a little intentional and then the man started defending the random hypothetical girl that was taking bad photos of her instead of defending the woman in front of him and i said i was like are you kidding me like this this man doesn't know shit anyways guess what guess what exactly happened the man paid for everything and he did not tip well he did not tip well once again that's

why i was like listen i don't even want to give a fucking answer because i don't know who's paying and i know i'm not gonna get tip well i didn't agree with him i hashtag believed women i hashtag supported women and he didn't i'm so stupid someone said going out is overrated that's all honestly agree hard agree hard agree going out to the clubs and like big events is kind of overrated i have not been to any this summer i haven't been to any large concerts i have not been to any clubs i have not been to any of the crazy bars that i literally live a couple minutes away from i have not been out this summer i've been having fun though and i've been partying still but it's been at like a small intimate level honestly the whole thesis of the smoke sash you know what i

mean like i don't need to be in a club i just want to be partying with like my five best friends in someone's apartment with like a maybe no even no drugs or alcohol just like having a good time or if i am going out anywhere that is like a bar it's like a small random dive bar with like 10 people in it you know like going out is overrated you know what's in staying home and partying on your couch with your friends and that's exactly what smoke sesh is smoke sesh is a house party smoke is a basement show literally like hello that's really all i've been into and if i am going out it's either a maybe to a tiny little dive bar or someone else's apartment or i'm running away to the forest that's my going out last week to kind of get in our little meditative states and connect

back to earth me and my boyfriend went to the forest and we bought these glitter tubes the same glitter tubes i posted in um my photos of the grand tetons on instagram if you saw that photo of me and all my friends floating in the glacier lake in front of that giant fucking hot ass mountain um they're five dollar glitter tubes from target so i we didn't take them home because bitch i had no space in my suitcase so i bought two more um and me and my boyfriend took him to the river and we bought a bottle of soju and i put on a sydney mary bikini love her um and we ran away to the forest and we just floated in our tubes and drank our bottle of soju and just laid in the sun and honestly at 25 that is my version of partying that is my version of like no that's

a crazy night for me and i love that for me honestly i love it my situationship called me a bop at the bars the other night and i'm still upset if you as a grown man are using new slang terms to demean women as a grown man in this day and age you do not deserve pussy you do not deserve pussy you do not deserve any attention and specifically you do not deserve pussy so if i were you i would block him on everything and pretend he didn't exist oh now you want to come talk to me at the bar who are you what's your name oh i don't think we've ever met literally lobotomize yourself from that man and do not give him an ounce of attention at all like don't even make yourself upset over it like why would you make yourself upset over a stupid man like honestly

he's not worth the energy and the time that you want to put into him he's not worth the anger that you want to feel because guess what you're not and he only used that word because he was trying to hurt you so don't let him hurt you girl move on find a man who's going to be respectful of women period and throw pussy his way you know what every week i sit here and i ask what's the vibe for the week what's going on girls tell me and i feel like this perfectly sums it up so shout out to you but in all caps they go feeling so hot and sexy with my new bathing suit yeah literally now that is the vibe for the week I am feeling so hot and sexy and I have a bathing suit on and I'm just feeling myself and I'm in the sunshine and I'm living my hot girl life you know what I mean now

that's all it's about right now July if it was an image would be just like a bikini somewhere on the floor like thrown about that's exactly how july feels and i cannot wait to enjoy indulge a little bit and just make this month the sexiest month ever honestly setting my new month intentions i just posted my july mood board on patreon so if you want to go join feel free would love to have you join the patreon club um i post new episodes every thursday where i answer every single one of your questions so if you have something on your mind dying to get answered come join come hang out with us i think you'd be surprised i'm also posting our july book club book of the month last year or oh my god year hello babe hello get it together um but last month it was eve babbitts

eve's hollywood which is a collection of short stories of eve babbitts who is an iconic girl of the 70s of the 80s of the 90s of every time period honestly may she rest in peace um it's a collection of short stories from her life it was fantastic it was a great way to set our intentions of june and just feel the amazing um whimsical nature in the air really dive into the indulgences of summer um and i think july's book club will also um really indulge on those feelings and that sensuality and really just make it a sexy hot month i'm so excited for that anyways the rain stopped the sun is coming out my boyfriend is ready to pick me up and take me out to pho i'm gonna indulge a little bit eat some healing soup feel good if you want a fun recipe go make

the caprice sandwich i just made this week i'll be posting another one either this weekend or monday i've been posting on monday pretty often but i always post a new recipe um if you want the ingredients like specifics of everything i always do a write-up on my patreon of the recipes of the week um and yeah thank you for being here thank you for submitting your questions so happy to be with you every week and thank you to all the new listeners um i'm happy to share the love with you guys as well the only thing i ask from you guys is that you stay safe you stay sexy and you learn a thing or two you know what's life about we only have time so we might as well grow and become the best uh versions of ourself with that time that we got literally what else is there to do hello

smoke a little for me eat something yummy treat yourself well and i'll see you all next week