Smoke Sesh - eclipse realizations, the ick, self love & talking stage tips

Episode Date: April 9, 2024

Hello hotties and happy Tuesday! So excited to be back with another amazing episode of Smoke Sesh with you all. We get right into the big astrological event happening, the eclipse, what you might be feeling, how to navigate this time and the extra chaos in our lives. I catch you up on what ive been up to and then we dive into all of your deepest darkest questions! We talk the talking stage and how to make the most of it, and how to fall in love and stay sane, college acceptance, only you are making it awkward and allowing your self to exist without constant perception, my history with cigarettes, is offering forgiveness worth it? and when to forgive, identity, eclipse realizations, kissing tips, getting your get back, how to show self love, childish men, OF in relationships, weaponized incompetence is not real, situationship survival guide, grounding rituals, current playlist, getting the ick, jealousy in relationships, and much much much much more! So lovely to have you all here today thank you so much for all the love if you want to see what I'm up to and the podcast updates follow the instagram @hannahmarlene and if you want extra content join the patreon club patron.com/smokeseshshawty ! love you all and chat next Tuesday! MUAH

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Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hotties welcome back to another wonderful beautiful amazing episode of smoke sesh i'm so excited to be back with you guys on this wonderful beautiful bright sunny eclipse day oh my gosh i

know as you're listening to this you're like girl been there done that the eclipse was yesterday i know but I'm still so excited because it is technically Monday when I record this um and it's just like it's a big day you know what I mean um I feel like everybody's kind of feeling that energy in the air whether it's maybe a little bit more chaos ensued maybe some hope maybe some inspiration somewhere in the chaos that is really the meaning of the eclipse um I feel like it does bring along especially during this mercury retrograde brings a lot of big life changes for us all uh really shows us what's important and redirects our thoughts into maybe a healthier better avenue one that we maybe were never really expecting and thus the chaos but

ultimately understand that sometimes we as humans can be so fucking stubborn and we only want to see the reality that we want to see um and the universe will be quick to come and show you what actually needs to happen especially when you need it most and especially during astrological times like now so pro tip really just lean into the chaos if you can um i really do not realize how fucking pale i am i will be self-tanning directly after this anyways you like my outfit so cute little cute flowy top wow really pale um and some denim jeans not sponsored but i did get them from PacSun because at my new job they're like literally wear whatever you want like as long as it's not like inappropriate like as long as your pussy's not hanging out like girl go for it so I was like

let me use that as a little excuse to do some online shopping let me use it as an excuse for some impulsive purchases um anyways yeah love put on a cute little outfit for you guys I'm probably gonna go it's still the morning but I'm probably gonna go to the park after this go check out the eclipse go try and view it i sent my boyfriend on a scavenger hunt this morning to go try and find some glasses if there are any existing in kansas city at this very moment um he will be finding those for us so then we can go experience and enjoy the clips together my friend is actually in austin texas right now which is in the path of totality and it's really cool because the last eclipse i experienced was freshman year of college and i feel like during that eclipse i was coming

to a lot of realizations about myself and building my self-identity and simply taking the time to be like okay wait I am not like a human living under my parents roof doing whatever the fuck they tell me I'm actually a human who can make my own decisions and express myself in a adult manner and make adult decisions for myself wow scary exciting new times and although I'm not starting college uh i still am feeling that same experience but maybe at like a more intense and higher level now that i'm older i think that that that was about five years ago i want to say was the last like a big solar eclipse that i experienced um we were not in the path of totality back then i don't think we are now either but it's so interesting because with the eclipse it's completely covering

the sun it's completely blocking out um things that maybe we are blinded by and really showing the shadow of what we need to see which is why this is a great time for really a lot of internal work and asking ourselves like are we where we want to be what the fuck do we need to do what have we not been seeing what do we need to see for what it truly is um what lessons do we need to learn what do we need to leave behind what do we need to pick up like where do we want to fucking go how the fuck do you want to get there and also understanding that we can only get there through ourselves we only have one option in this life and it's to make the choices that we want to make to make the life that we want to make and if you don't actively make those choices you will

never get there um we are the conductor of our own lives although the universe does sometimes step in and redirect us when needed and you might be feeling that especially during this mercury retrograde season and eclipse season um understand that it's coming from a place of betterment and you will be better for it and life is just going to get so good from here on out this is not a time for rituals this is not a time for manifestation the energy right now is way too chaotic okay you really just gotta lean into focusing redirection re-evaluating you know taking a moment maybe doing some journal prompts i uploaded some really fun journal prompts on the patreon if you want to go check it out um especially eclipse ones um so do not manifest

do not do any moon water do not do any crystal charges do not try to do any rituals of that sort of sense because the universe is in a very chaotic state and it might take what you want but you weren't direct enough and it might give you the complete opposite so let's just chill let's just relax let's just watch as things unfold and do our best to manage through them that's really all you can do especially during kind of a very chaotic time really just try and persevere see the light um also see the darkness for what it truly is uh take the opportunities that come to you and really take advantage of your own life make sure you're the conductor of your own train but anyways i've really been doing that for some reason i don't know why i was like yeah let me get a

fifth fucking job um but i've been working overtime i'm having a great time thank you to everybody who ordered some more baby teas they will be shipped out this week if you want to get your baby tea instagram.com slash hannah marlene link in bio you can go shop my website and get your gotweed baby tea from there i still have hoodies and i have some other fun things coming out like mugs some lighter cases maybe some tote bags I also want to release some new hoodies I have some new designs going on I don't know why my brain was like I need to go to school for graphic design I like sat down with my dad the other day and I was like as you know eclipse themes you're rethinking your life you're like did I make mistakes do I need to restart do I

need to do all this blah blah blah one thing that I've really been questioning for myself recently is like oh my god I really should have graduated college like I really regret not getting my bachelor's degree just because so many people around me have it and it is just it's such like a title that it's like everybody around me has it that like I also want it where is that stemming from is it like a societal pressure is it just like a need for academic validation is a need for parental validation what is it I don't really know it's probably a conglomerate of all of those fucking things um as you guys know I dropped out twice so like I had a heart-to-heart with my dad yesterday we were just hanging out outside doing whatever he was helping me fix my car and I was

like i've really been thinking about going back to college like i've really been thinking about like going to school for graphic design or something art related he looked me in the eyes he's like girl you don't have to go to fucking college for that and he is the only person in my life who's been like well him and my mom obviously who have been like college college college go to college go to school i'm like i want to go to school for graphic design but holy shit school's so fucking expensive like the art school i went to is 40 to 50 000 a year i don't want to be in debt for the rest of my life hello and I was like it's a great opportunity you're gonna get make great connections there's so many benefits to college I'm not saying if you're in college you

should drop out I really regret dropping out that is obviously something that I'm rationalizing here um is me having regrets from leaving school early please if you're in school see it through follow through you will be so much better for it I really regret dropping out now I'm thinking like oh my god should I go back and he was like you do not need to go back to school like if you want to do if you want to go for nursing yeah you got to go back to school if you want to go and be a doctor yeah you need that bachelor's degree if you want to be in like the tech industry you need certifications of some kind like there's some avenues where school is the only option lawyer doctor things like that you know what i mean where it's like obviously you need a bachelor's degree

but he's like bitch if you're doing graphic design if you're trying to like make your own business if you're trying to work with business things like that like just trust and believe in yourself and work fucking hard and build a portfolio start pitching yourself he's like if I was hiring a graphic designer I would not give a fuck about their fucking bachelor's degree I wanted to see the work that they do that was a great like mental shift I love checking in with the people around me and kind of talking through my thought processes because I get so deep and sometimes like a spiral that it's hard to see outward another path and it was really great talking to him because he was like i know you're on this you want to take this one path but maybe

it's not the best for you maybe you have all the tools and the skills you need to create the life you want to live you don't have to take the traditional avenue of everybody else you just need to of course work hard and push yourself a little bit harder and i think you can get where you want to go so that was a really fantastic conversation to have um sometimes it just takes a little bit a little bit of belief and trust and hard work for you to create the life of your dreams um and that's something that I really preach to everybody because I am living the life of my dreams of course I want to evolve and grow and keep growing into a new version of myself and keep living the life of my dreams throughout the years to come but it's going to take a lot of hard

work determination and trust in yourself and belief in yourself and I I guess maybe me looking back into school was a lack of that and I really enjoyed talking to him because it was a redirection of no bitch just learn to trust yourself learn to work fucking hard sometimes it takes working five fucking jobs like who cares you're a hard worker you're a go-getter just go get that shit done you will achieve everything you want to so that was a really great message that i feel like i wanted to share um especially if you're feeling burnt out during this time or maybe the universe is you know excavating what needs to leave from your life and it's feeling a little chaotic understand it's coming from a good place understand you are on the right path understand

things will be better for you um trust in yourself believe in yourself keep working fucking as hard as you can take time off if you need but keep working as hard as you can i promise you will get everywhere you want to go i promise you will be living the life of your dreams um so yeah little eclipse themes for you there but yeah i've just been really working a lot um taking accountability for my life and kind of observing especially looking back on where the last eclipse was I'm kind of just looking at those years and like what was I doing in between that time and you know was I really living my life to my full advantage during that time not really uh you know went through some lessons broke up with some people whatever um and now it's like

okay i i'm at another great starting point um or i have to see it as like a new beginning instead of like a restart you know what i mean you got to fuel up on that new beginning energy fuel up on that excitedness that lust for life and just go after everything you want i promise if you take a risk the universe will reward you but also you have to clear your path okay you can't have twigs and branches and fallen boys in your fucking path you have to have a clear path and the only person who's going to get out there and clear that path for you is you and the universe if you're blind to it but just really roll with the chaos roll with the punches trust believe go after everything you want i guarantee life will be good for us all but happy eclipse so exciting it's really quiet out

today i understand in some cultures there's like a belief that like you shouldn't go outside during the eclipse or if you do go outside during the eclipse to wear red um i think a lot of people are leaning into that because the way i have never seen my street so quiet bitch usually it's fucking loud as hell when i'm recording um also it's a monday maybe everybody's at work that part but yeah i've just been working enjoying life my friend came into town i got to see her my friend hannah love her so fucking much it's so great catching up with people who i don't know the older you get the more I mean you're gonna lose some people you're gonna realize who sticks around and it's really great having the friends who even if you like don't talk for a couple months or

whatever you're living in different places you're busy with your own life lives occasionally you can get together and it's like you didn't skip a beat like you're just enjoying time together spending time together um she was so sweet she came to my work my co-workers were so drunk I felt so bad she looked exhausted and then she was around all my screaming drunk co-workers but she came to my work she had a couple drinks we took a little shot that was a fun and then we had lunch the other day gotta enjoy the farmer's market a little bit have some good mediterranean food so good i'm like fantasizing about it right now it's my favorite um i got my nails done you guys want a nail shot here aren't they so cute i've been obsessed with like lilies

recently and like florals and things like that i also wanted these are my 420 nails so i needed like pink and green she killed it nails by meg so love her so much if you're in kansas city and you need a nail tech she is the one she can literally do anything it's actually magic it's insane i'll be like ah i'm gonna send her some inspo i don't know if she can do it and then it's like oh it's better than the inspo okay and it's like and honestly girl you need to raise your prices if you're listening to this because your work is worth so much money that's why i tip her fat every single time I'm like girl let's let's raise those prices a little bit like you got to get your pay out anyways I know why you guys are here I know you have so many questions on your

mind I know you're probably feeling the chaos a little bit and I just wanted to maybe settle some worries you have in your mind and help you get through them the best I can anyways cheers let's get into it someone said tips for the talking stage I have a fat crush and I think he does too but i can't mess it up i love a talking stage i do in fact i think i thrive in a talking stage maybe it's my personality disorder my need and physical desire to please others um but i love a talking stage because it's like when you get a kind of like not pretend but both of you guys are putting on like your best version of yourselves okay you're you're playing a little pretend you're like stepping in physically to the best most angelic goddess-like version of

yourself because that's how you want the other person to see you of course i mean i think sometimes it can be a little manipulative but only if you have malicious intent but i do think there's a naturalistic human desire to want to impress people that you maybe want to have a romantic relationship with and i think that's cute and so fun and you should absolutely lean into it like i think through talking stages i have like lived so many different lives and become so many better versions of myself because it kind of forces me to be like okay wait let me clean up my fucking house let me go shave my legs let me cut my bangs let me dye my hair let me you know get into yoga let me try on so many different types of hats that i want to try on let me figure

out how i want to express myself in the best most positive way possible um and even if that fucking talking stage doesn't work out you come out of it being hotter and sexier and more trusting and just better than you ever were before and i'm not saying that it should take being in a talking stage or seeking romantic attention to do that but shit if you're there you might as well lean into it and get something out of it do you know what i mean like fuck it um but i think people see talking stages like scary like i need to win them over i need to have them desire me blah blah blah blah it should be like a push and pull do you know what i mean like of course you should have that desire but that other person should also have that desire that other person should

also want to be the best version of themselves for you want to show up for you in the best ways that they possibly can and if they're not reciprocating that then i don't think it's worth it you both need to be in that like holy ground area of i'm stepping into like a godlike version of myself they better be doing the same so that we can exist on this like beautiful angelic plane together and experience this talking stage um and just like the dreaminess of falling in love together um and i feel like this is where you go from talking stage to situationship i think situationships are way too one-sided like maybe you're stepping into that desire but the other person isn't and then you're left chasing and then you're left feeling like

you're left with like a hole in your chest in some sort of way but if you look at talking stages and situationships as like oh i'm just becoming a better version of myself they also should be becoming a better version of themselves we should both be equally trying to impress each other um and share our lives with each other then i think you will come out on the other side of it like either so madly in love with each other or at least a better version of yourself um and a more understanding version of yourself as well so i don't think you'll mess it up i genuinely believe as long as you're stepping into that goddess self um and really just putting yourself out there and sharing your world with the other person they're either gonna fucking get it and then you're gonna

fall madly in love and get married and have babies no i'm kidding well maybe shit depending on what you're looking for or they're just not gonna fucking get it the the vibes are not gonna sync up and that's okay let that person fucking go you should only desire people in your life who are willing to be there be better show up for you and truly just uh make sure that you're having you're having a shared experience do you know what i mean not taking advantage of the other person but really just trying to share in that love with each other i think it's so beautiful um yeah i love a crush stage it's so fun it really is you just feel so connected to yourself you feel so connected the world around you your emotions are heightened you're having some bomb fucking sex

probably um you're going on dates you're experiencing childlike wonder and appreciation for the world again um not that you can't have that outside of a relationship or outside of like a situationship but it's definitely present in that sort of uh talking stage as well um but just lean into it have fun get creative and even if you don't you know end up in a relationship there's always something you can take from it whether it's something you learn for the other person that you're like oh they're cool i like the way they do this or they're cool i like this about them you can like kind of steal that and make it your own also that means men are probably going to steal your personality but whatever it just means they're a fan um but you know you can

learn different small things about life from these people whether it's a relationship or a friendship or whatever and you can take that with you and adapt that to your own life and i think there's so much to gain out of just like meeting and talking to people and getting to know them and kind of stepping into that best self so keep it positive keep it happy keep it fun it's really all the advice i gotta give you not a question but i got into my dream school i feel like your podcast has kept me sane during this past chaotic year illy ucsc is the school oh my god congratulations when i was going through my little chaotic panic state of looking at colleges i did look at us or ucsc and the acceptance rate is so low so low so congratulations is actually fucking insane

i'm so proud of you i'm glad i could be on this journey with you hopefully you keep me along in your journey um keep sharing updates with me hope to hear from you but congratulations that is so exciting big eclipse energy you know finalizations realizations hope dreams building onto that keep the positive energy going someone said learning to be okay with social social situations being awkward and not judging myself for it real like we're all human you've heard me probably go on a tangent and then be like what the fuck did i just say or say some weird shit i don't care because guess what if you hear something and you're like oh that was embarrassing for her oh that was so embarrassing for her girl why are you perceiving me that way because we're all human

we're all gonna have weird embarrassing moments like who cares have a little laugh move on because you don't want that happening to yourself do you know what i mean so if you're sitting here constantly judging other people like oh my god that was so embarrassing for them oh my god aren't they embarrassed that they just said that it's like holy shit it must be hell on earth to live in your brain if you're judging other people for that shit oh my god i can't imagine the prison cell you have created for yourself up here anyways if you're also living in that prison cell where it's like i can't stop thinking about how i'm perceived by other people understand that like perception especially in women i posted a meme about this maybe the meme was a little too deep

um but your perception of yourself and constantly perceiving yourself and trying to dictate the way you move and act and think and speak from a third person perspective is a male perspective and it is from like a male validation perspective um so free yourself from the patriarchy and from that male validation actually let me find that quote for you because i it was a blurry meme and i don't know if many people read it and it was so good a woman must continually watch herself she is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself while she is walking across a room or while she is weeping at the death of her father she is scarcely avoided envisioning herself walking or weeping from earliest childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually

one might simplify this by saying men act and women appear men look at women women watch themselves being looked at this determines not only most relationships between men and women but also the relation of women to themselves the surveyor of women in herself is male the surveyed female thus she turns herself into an object and the most particularly an object of vision a sight anyways the meme was no you don't understand i have to be the hottest person at the grocery store literally like free yourself from that prison cell who cares if you say something wrong who cares what you look like who cares what you act like stop that third person perspective because if you're constantly in that third person perspective you're constantly in a performance

mindset it's okay to be in the performance mindset when it is something beneficial like me sitting down here of course I'm going to be a little bit more of a performer than maybe when I'm just chilling with my friends smoking honestly actually very similar here like very chill vibes but maybe your performance is like okay I have to give a speech I have to go do something I'm a model I gotta go perform in that sort of way that's okay but your overall daily life you should not be living in the constant fear of being surveyed um and it's okay to have like weird embarrassing experiences and social awkward situations but understand it's only awkward if you make it awkward it's only awkward if you're perceiving yourself in that surveyed state it's only awkward

if you were the the one constantly perceiving thinking overthinking about what the fuck happened i guarantee no one is thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself ever ever that embarrassing thing that you just thought of it's only embarrassing because you made it embarrassing no one else understood that it was embarrassing so don't make it weird girl just don't make it weird don't be weird you know what i mean like no need to stress yourself out stop perceiving yourself in that third perspective and let yourself be a human being and live and experience in the now and the present rather in the rather than in the past rather than in a third-party perspective just enjoy the now and if something weird happens in

the now let it be in the past and keep fucking moving forward period i need water water break legendary is here with bet mgm sportsbook sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and Live betting options for all your favorite sports. Download the BetMGM app. See BetMGM.com for terms. 18 plus Alberta only. Please play responsibly. Subject to eligibility requirements.

If gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being, 2-1-1 Alberta is here to help. Call or text 2-1-1 or visit ab.211.ca. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the Alberta iGaming Corporation. Standard message and data rates may apply. Hannah, I'm just calling in. I love you.

um literally have to go into work in three minutes on a Sunday but okay anyways um I just want um like advice I took a gap year and I like did online school for like half a semester and then I stopped and now my parents are like it's time for you to actually think about your future and what you want to do next um semester and I am currently like planning on going to our local college but i don't know i'm just really nervous that i'm not going to finish but like i know that if i stay here i'm gonna be motivating myself to keep on finishing college but i don't know i just would like some advice or anything any tips suggestions i know that you have been talking about college a lot recently and i know you always say say to stay in school but it's just like so

hard for me as somebody who literally hated all of high school and was like i had like a total of 300 absences I had like 300 absences for like my junior and senior year of high school and yeah I just really do struggle with school a lot um although I love learning like I want to major in politics and I love that stuff but I don't know it's just so hard when it's not politics and what I want to be learning about so yeah if you have any advice that'd be very helpful thank you love you okay I feel like this is a valid concern about like is it worth my time is worth my energy things like that um i think it is especially if you want to go into politics politics is a job you need a degree for um and consider your degree as a commitment to yourself

that's one thing that i felt like i was missing from college and not going is i felt like i gave up on myself in that sort of way and everybody who did finish was not giving up on themselves that's not how it works in your in like the real world but i do think a completion of college is a completion of self and a commitment to yourself so start viewing it in that sort of way i know like some of the classes suck or oh i'm not interested in this thing or whatever but that doesn't mean that it's not going to ultimately add to you like i fucking hate math but guess what i still need it to be able to complete the degree i want to get the small things lead to the big things in that sort of grand scheme of understanding so consider school as a commitment to yourself

you know you'll be better for it you know it'll take a lot of hard work of course but ultimately i think it's so worth it i really do get in school finish that degree go on be one of the politicians that we actually fucking need so these fucking crazy people out there and make a difference in the world because i know you can because you listen to this podcast so you can do anything love you please girlies stay hydrated i guarantee your brain hurts your body hurts because you're not hydrated actually my brain hurts because i think i have the wrong contacts in today and my eyes literally can't focus anyways someone said i started smoking cigarettes and i don't know how to feel about it i love my weed but idk what do you mean you started smoking cigarettes

honestly i would rather see a baddie with a cigarette in her hand than a fucking mango peach flavored jewel that you can play a video game on the side of But do I support any sort of nicotine habit? No, I smoked cigarettes for Three years I want to say it was just a bad teenage habit Listen, I was on tumblr way too much and I was like smoking cigarettes is just so fucking hot And like there is like a kind of sexiness to it But now as an adult i'm like I will literally just replace that with a joint

Um, but I started smoking because I started working in the rush. Well, I started smoking cigarettes because tumblr brain rot and being like this is hot and sexy let me go to my local gas station and just pick up a pack and whenever i'm mad at my mom i'm gonna go on a walk and smoke a cigarette and listen to fucking arctic monkeys in my headphones at night and then the habit kept going because i was in college and i was like fuck it i'm an adult i gotta smoke cigarettes time i want to and then i started working in the restaurant industry and i realized oh my god you don't get breaks at work like you will you will work a 12 hour shift straight through they won't even fucking feed you the only time you get a break is if you happen to smoke cigarettes and

you step outside and smoke a cigarette so i was like well hell yeah i'm gonna keep fucking smoking cigarettes because that's the only time i get a break hello and then it was like i was deep in the hole my skin had never looked worth worse my teeth had never looked worse i guarantee it aged me like four fucking years um my pores were huge i was lethargic i felt like i was like a slave to nicotine and it was just not not the hot sexy vibe that i thought it was at 16 i knew i was gonna have some sort of substance abuse problem when i was like 13 and i rolled up a herbal tea blend with a fucking sticky note and smoked it i knew i was gonna have a problem but i didn't thinking it was gonna be like a four year five year problem and then one day I woke up and I was

like this is just gross like this is gross I feel gross I feel like like my blood cells feel gross like I don't know how to explain it it's just like every inch of my body feels gross and it's not because you're gross it's because of the cigarettes it's because of the nicotine do I recommend picking that picking that habit up no no i do not i also think if you have a hard time quitting nicotine in the sense of vapes where it's like sugar lemon iced tea flavored and i could smoke it anywhere because it's just a fruity scent i genuinely believe if you switch to and this is this is not a fucking doctor doctor recommendation let me tell you that but if you switch from that water nicotine to cigarettes I think it'll help wean you off because you'll realize how gross

that habit is because cigarettes it'll have you feeling like oh afterwards like whoa what did I just do like oh my mouth tastes bad sure you got your nicotine high but at what cost they smell bad so you can't like do it in your room you have to like go outside away from people I think it's a really great way to like break that vape habit but do I recommend you picking up a pack of cigarettes if you've never smoked nicotine in your entire life no no stick to the herbal blends stick to the hemp pre-rolls stick to a cbd pre-roll if you need that like hand to mouth connection fantastic but please please please nicotine is such a slippery slope and i'm so tired of seeing young people get into it free yourselves please please i'm begging you how to

heal from my boyfriend's past mistakes when we're an amazing place now let go and live let go and live and enjoy everybody's gonna make mistakes talk about mistakes okay everybody's gonna fuck up at some point all you can do when you fuck up is genuinely apologize and genuinely try and make like amends first of all not everybody's gonna forgive you and that's okay that's okay you fucked up that's on you not everybody's gonna forgive you fine but you can still try to amend the situation the best you can and that's not gonna happen with just like one apology it's gonna happen with behavioral changes and continuously showing up over and over and over again to show that you are not that same person to show that you will not make that same

mistake so if this is just like a past mistake that happened and he has shown up and he has genuinely apologized and he has genuinely made change and it sounds like he has because everything is all capitals amazing then i think it's just past anxiety which is real and valid and of course you can have past anxiety about a way that you were hurt that's totally fine but i think the way to kind of work through that is to stop and be like okay this person hurt me in the past but what have they done to make it up to me and then go through how they've done it oh well you know he apologized profusely he has never done it again he has made behavioral changes to make sure it won't happen he continuously apologizes he continuously make sure i'm feeling comfortable

and safe in this relationship he makes sure i'm continuously seen and heard in this relationship blah blah blah blah go through the fucking list because once you go through the list and you reach the end of the list you're gonna be like okay no settled anxiety gone like i have seen all the ways that he has shown up and apologized and helped me work through this we're good now if you get there and you start listing it off and you're like oh there's nothing on the list that's when you need to be like okay what the fuck am i doing here did he really fucking apologize or is he just like did he apologize once and now he makes me feel bad about bringing it up go through the list how have they apologized how have they met it better how have they made you

feel comfortable in this relationship if the list is not there get the fuck out okay because i have been in a situation this isn't even like a relationship situation i mean i've obviously been in a relationship where the fuck where he made a fucking mistake and then made me feel like it was my fault and then i just stopped bringing it up because i was like no it's my problem it's my problem he cheated on me girl girl girl girl please stop letting these men gaslight you but more importantly I've been in a friendship relationship where I've been very very very hurt by two people one person genuinely felt bad genuinely made it known that she felt bad that this was a fuck up that I was just a sheep that I was just following somebody else like

and even if I was following somebody else that doesn't you know necessarily negate what the fuck I did like I'm so sorry I'm gonna keep showing up I know you don't want to hear from me I'm gonna keep showing up I know you don't want to speak to me I'm gonna keep showing up and supporting you and blah blah blah blah blah great love you queen i support you i'm so happy you're doing great in life we are on cool terms the other person she just apologized and never spoke to me again you see the difference in like okay no this is something that it's like sure you can have anxiety about the past but they have made it up to you and they genuinely do feel bad and they're willing to work through the situation while the other person they don't really give a

fuck they don't care that they fucked up they're not apologetic they don't give a fuck about your anxiety they have not made it better in that case anxiety is valid but also that anxiety is stemming from like a real valid problem that maybe this relationship can't heal because both of you aren't putting in your all that sort of thing your situation it sounds fine it sounds like you made it up to you it's okay to bring up your anxieties in your relationship of course help work through work through it with together but also understand you know when people fuck up to offer forgiveness if it is valid you know what i mean i gotta pause and go make another coffee it is just listen once again releasing past things and making sure you're a better person now

instead of smoking weed at 11 a.m i'm going to have another coffee because i know i'm gonna crash if i start smoking this early so if you're smoking with me cheers take a hit if not cheers take a sip of coffee or water either way happy to have you here should i just fucking drink this coffee to the dome honestly could be a fun episode let's do it fuck it crazy seeing growth because like in the past I'd be like still rolling from the night before and then I would probably just like keep smoking throughout the day and then sleep all day and then wake up at night and do it some more and then take shots now I'm like let me chug an espresso So oat milk to the dome and instead of vodka shots, I'm taking ginger turmeric shots.

Who am I? Who am I? No one tells you about the identity crisis you have once you come out of like bad habits. Because when you're like in bad habits, those bad habits are your personality trait. That binge drinking, that's your personality trait. Oh, you rolling on Molly all the time? That's your personality trait. Like if you're a druggie, that's your personality trait.

if you're like a shoplifter that's your personality trait like that's kind of like what you build your identity off of but then once you start like healing and recalibrating into a healthier person you're like oh wow i need to form a identity not around substances wild how the hell do i do that not my whole identity on here being about weed but honestly weed has really been a beneficial thing for me and not necessarily something um that has been really really unhealthy of course you can have unhealthy experiences with weed and i will never be a person who's like weed is only good for you but it's the substance you can be addicted to fucking once again caffeine the same way you can be addicted to anything um it's all about how you use it why you use it for me weed's the one

thing in my life that i'm like very positive outcomes from it all around thus the identity around smoke sash did you guys know that my the name smoke sash came from like my finsta my finsta in high school which i don't know why i had a finsta in high school because i was more than okay posting crazy shit on my main um i think it was just like a venting page but it was smoke sash i don't think i was able to coin that uh that username because that is very sought after um but yeah i got this name from my finsta so if it does feel like an adult version of my finsta i'm like let me air my shit online and go over not only my problems but yours yours as well and help you through it so very fitting but speaking of the eclipse someone

said studying in Italy and it's making me want to give up my law school dreams and become a professor here this is kind of maybe some eclipse realizations like okay we chose a new path we're seeing new things it's okay to change your mind you know especially if you're like oh but I've wanted this for so long I mean sometimes go after it if that's truly what you want but if you find yourself like falling into different avenues that make you excited and provide interest to you i really encourage you going after those things um because that's what life is about going out experiencing finding what really makes your brain tick and then going after those things um you can always be a lawyer in italy best of both worlds but yeah i feel that i feel like all my friends

who go to a different country and study they end up living there at some point um i have one friend who lived in spain for quite a lot quite a while for study abroad and now he is a english teacher there um living his best life shout out to you i'm very jealous but yeah i think it's good to hear that calling and lean into it a little bit um especially if you really enjoy where you are you can always transfer schools keep studying get your degree become a lawyer get a visa your dreams can become your reality. It's all what you make of it. Anyways, should we smoke this bowl? It's like I haven't smoked the whole podcast and I think we need to, you know? I think we need to. I think it's time. Anyways, cheers, girlies. Yum. You guys have really been enjoying

the like cooking reels I've been posting on Instagram thank you for all the love I've been having a really fun time getting like new and creative with it I made veggie spring rolls on this recent reel um also shout out to my boyfriend for buying me um the weed that I will be smoking today advice on kissing uh I don't know if I really have advice it's all about like I feel like kissing is a transfer of intentions not to get deep here but like sometimes kissing doesn't feel right because maybe you're like my intentions here I'm not that like into it and thus the kissing feels off but when both of you are into it you're gonna have a good time no matter what obvious advice like any sort of sexual interaction please be into it if you want to be go for it you

know what i mean like if you're into it lean into it um that's how you're gonna have the most fun if you're not into it please do not lean into it do you know what i mean um but kissing wise i would say my pro tips are make sure you brush your teeth and your tongue okay not too much tongue you don't want to be like fucking slobbering all over that person unless that's your fucking thing then go for it um i feel like kissing can be very romantic and i feel like kissing is way overlooked like it's a great way to kind of just like feel each other out without having to get too sexual too fast like if you guys can make out for two fucking hours and have a great time imagine what sex is gonna be like but if you can barely make out with that man without having to like get away

from him do you really think the sex is gonna be that good do you really think the sex is gonna be like be that good um i've had bad kisses i've had good kisses my first kiss was really bad because like immediately he like put his whole mouth over mine and was like licking everywhere and i had never put my mouth on other humans and I was just like oh so a bad kiss means a lot if it's a bad kiss I say just like I mean not to cut something short but like you can always teach somebody how to kiss better always but if the intentions aren't there if the vibes aren't there it's okay to walk away from that but once again like there's no like tips and tricks to kissing it's all about the chemistry and it's all about like the give and take and the teasing a little

tongue maybe a little lip bite maybe like a pull away maybe like uh you know like just have fun with it experiment explore enjoy making out can be very fun and it should be very fun and you know what bring back making out 2024 president hannah bring back making out 2024 we're so quick to sex we're so quick to know we're fucking what happened to making out what happened to a handhold okay feel the chemistry there build it up i guarantee this ex will be really good i don't really have any tips and tricks to making out other than just like don't shove your tongue down their throat as soon as you start kissing start slow go from there have fun i think having fun is the best advice i can give for any sort of sexual situation just like have the time of

your life girl oh another if i was the president another thing i would make legal is like getting your get back like what do you mean if someone wrongs me i can't do the same thing back to them that doesn't feel fair that doesn't feel right i feel like if someone does something awful to me legally i should be able to do the thing the same thing back to them like i was thinking about this and i don't know why a high off edible at night alone with my thoughts and i'm like oh my god imagine if you had a daughter and then like she got killed i've been watching a lot of criminal minds i'm sorry not to bring bad vibes into this but like oh my god i see all these like criminal minds episodes where you know they just have to sit and wait and they know who the person

is but they just they can't do anything because there's all these red tapes and legalities and there's this one episode where the dad just like took it into his own hands and was like I'm getting a gun and I'm handling it and it's like honestly what's the problem with that I think legally you should be able to get your get back honestly honestly no repercussions someone does something horrible and awful to you I think like they should be on the watch out of somebody else doing that to them because it would make more people more aware of their actions that it'd be like oh I'll just go to jail then I'll get out it's like no if you kill somebody maybe it'll happen to you that's dark that's scary but legally if i was the president i would be like no you can

get your get back um i tried the spotify for podcasters link thingamajig and i don't know if it's working i girl i know you've been having trouble with it like no hate no hate um shade to the link shade to the link not you um but anyways i just want to say like i love you um love everyone in this in this like community you all are beautiful amazing talented incredible souls and i love you all and i just want to say like i kind of like i i don't know i went a little like manic on thursday night and i just like at 8 p.m and i stayed up until like 3 30 p.m and i fucking started a business like for a couple years i've been thinking about just like selling my my flowers and like making bouquets and stuff like that and so thursday night i finally was like

i'm gonna fucking do it and i fucking did it i fucking did it girl i'm gonna be i'm applying for my local farmer's market to be a vendor and sell my flowers every weekend and i'm applying to like join a csa or like be a csa i don't really know how that works out um but you know i'm applying for that too so i can have like subscribers and like give them flowers each week um and then i'm just gonna reach out to people people are gonna reach out to me hopefully and i can give them beautiful bouquets and just like spread joy and magic through my flowers and my creations oh my god girl i am so fucking excited and like proud of myself like i feel like for so long i've not been doing work that is true to me and now i finally feel like

i'm doing what's true to me and i feel so happy that's all oh i love this and this is a great message for everybody literally all it takes is belief in yourself and trust in yourself and just like doing the damn fucking thing but it feels so right when you do it like i love that energy that you're feeling right now like holy shit like it's happening i'm doing that and it's because you did that so props to you you deserve your flowers i hope you make all the money in the world hope you have so much fun so much creative passion i see so many tiktok videos of girlies like making their bouquets for people and being like here's the inspiration and then here's what i make here's my process of making it good bitch i can't make bouquets but i think that shit is so

interesting so keep doing you keep being amazing keep going after everything you dreamed of and people who are listening who have always wanted to do something this is physical proof that if you trust and believe in yourself and just like fuck it go for it you can achieve anything someone said i feel i need to improve on self-love i'm not sure what to do any advice um i wonder why you feel the need to improve on self-love maybe it's because you're not paying attention to yourself maybe you haven't like spent time with yourself recently and that's where that's stemming from maybe you've been a little bit too mean to yourself i'm not sure what it's stemming from but I think just like alone time is a great way to practice self-love like alone time without

external stimuli and actually taking time to explore your mind explore your thoughts explore your feelings explore what brings you peace what brings you creativity feed into those activities that maybe younger you used to love to do like for me it was like literally just having like a sharpie a couple pens markers whatever just coloring maybe something on in the background my focus is on drawing coloring things like that like that was my favorite thing to do or like working with plants out in nature things like that so I have so many plants around me feeds my inner child I say get back to those activities reading that was a big thing for me I was never like a lego or puzzle girly but I have a lot of friends who were and now they're really big into legos and

puzzling and that's how they really show self-love in that sort of way by feeding into their intentions and um their hobbies in that sort of way um but i think alone time is a great way to focus on self-love because once you're alone with your thoughts and your feelings that's when you're really like oh no external stimuli to distract me oh this is what's going on in my brain sometimes it's not a fun thing sometimes it's something you need to work through sometimes self-love can be tough love sometimes self-love can be hard work showing up for yourself working through those feelings working through that trauma processing it healing yourself like that sometimes self-love is a literally a fucking face mask because you've had a long day it can look like so many different

things it's just depending on what you need but the best first step you can really take is to cut out that external stimuli and all the distractions and sit down with yourself and be honest with yourself and be real with yourself is be alone okay be alone that's how you do it and you're like hey i have roommates i can't be alone girl you have a room just be like hey i'm to take some alone time I'm gonna shut my door your roommate should not be barging in randomly I mean of course friends sometimes do that of course but if you're like up front like I just need alone time they're not gonna be weird about it my boyfriend I'll be like I need to be alone go fucking skate with your friends I don't know get out not me kicking him out not like that

but I'm like I'm being forward with you I need alone time and he's like yeah cool whatever very simple like even if you feel like you can't have it you can you can always make alone time for yourself and then i feel like once you get alone that's when you realize how deep the work needs to happen sometimes it's surface level and it's like i need to show self-love physically because i've been neglecting myself physically i need to trim my bangs i want to do a face mask i'm gonna take everything shower honor myself that way maybe it's uh oh my god i've been neglecting my self-love uh spiritually spatially i need to deep clean my house and through that way i'm gonna show self-love through the things around me through appreciation of life through

appreciation of home maybe it's like a internal work through the thoughts the scariness the darkness up there either way any of those ways great directions to take depending on what you need to look forward to but i think everybody can always use a little more self-love no matter what period anyways someone said when i tell him to leave me alone and he unfollows me like damn come back real that part i used to have a ex who was like we get in a fight and then he wouldn't talk to me for days he doesn't like you no come back no that boy does not like you if he actually liked you he'd be like okay i'm gonna give you your space and you come back to me when you know when we need to work it out or i'm gonna give you your space and then i'm gonna give you your flowers and

show up for you um once you're done with your alone time whatever it is that man that follows you that man gives you the silent treatment he does not like you he does not he's a big big baby and girl you're not a mother you don't need a big big baby okay let's smoke another bowl why not cheers i don't smoke a lot of bowls on here because i look a little fucking crazy doing it like there's nothing sexier than like a fucking joint oh i just found out my boyfriend has been paying for only fans behind my back tips okay okay can we get toxic for a second can we get crazy everybody put on your crazy glasses okay put on that crazy fucking hat you have let's get wild this is when my personality disorder jumps out and i'm like i can be evil let's be evil do

you know what i mean first of all i don't know what the boundaries are in your relationship me personally if my boyfriend was paying for only fans behind my back his shit would be on the front fucking curb the homeless people would be taking all of it and he'd be coming home to that that's what would be happening but also i understand some relationships it's like and there's an openness there's an air of openness and maybe this isn't like a boundary breaker and you're like that's not that big of a deal valid so happy for you i'm insane that shit would piss me off so i don't know if you've confronted him yet or not i don't know if you've you know broken that information to him i don't know if you've fought about it if you have fought about it and you've already brought it up

and you've already confronted him i say if this was like something that happened and this is like a really really big thing like a big boundary breaker this is like a i don't know if we can heal from this you gotta go you do and it's not your fault okay it sucks when something bad happens and it's not your fucking fault because you're like holy shit you just ruined this good thing how dare you ruin this good thing and honestly that's on them that's a loss that they're gonna have to face for the rest of their fucking life and tragic for them but you were nothing but amazing supportive loving beautiful take that with you move on if you had already confronted him i would say time to move on girl because that's something for me the the paying for only fans is

the equivalent of cheating for me these are my boundaries okay if you are talking to an ex because why I understand like the nuance of it all having friends with exes if it's healthy whatever most of the time it's not reality it's usually not if you're talking to an ex if you're in some girls dms if you're liking stories if you're paying for only fans if you're paying for cam girls if you're showing and giving attention to other women not in like a healthy friendship way I understand men and women can be friends and have a really sexual go on valid but if you are like showing romantic intentions to someone else while you're in a relationship with me we're done we're done no conversation needs to be had you knew what the fuck this was

you knew my intentions you knew my boundaries you crossed them I'm not giving you another opportunity to cross them because I've already been hurt once and I don't want to get hurt again I don't know what how you feel about that that's personally how I feel about it now if you haven't confronted him let's get crazy let's get crazy this is what I would do first of all the screenshots I would be taking as many screenshots as I can I would probably message his only fans girl and be like hey I found out my boyfriend was paying for all this I you know love you girl get your back I understand you did nothing wrong but can you if he had any interactions with you or private messages with you can you screenshot them and send them to me and then I would also be like

from the information I found I'd be screenshotting all the emails all the receipts all the content he has liked and then I would put it into a slideshow and what I would do is I would have him over and I'd be like oh my god I just found this really cool movie I cannot wait to watch it with you like buy us dinner bring over dinner we're gonna have a romantic dinner we're gonna watch this movie have a couple candles lit wear your sexiest outfit look as hot as you possibly can have him bring dinner over to your place do not go to his have him come to yours so then you can physically kick him out okay have him come over sit down with your food have the candles lit be like don't break you know the facade be like oh my god i'm so happy to see you babe welcome

oh my god i can't wait to watch this movie with you it's gonna be so good sit down open your computer start the slideshow and go through every single piece of evidence that there is whether he's cheated on you broken a boundary whatever it is collect the data collect the evidence don't break the facade until it's time for the show to start i would sit his ass down sit through all of it get to the end and i'd be like i hope you enjoyed the movie i had a great time with you i think it's time for you to get the fuck out of my house and then kick him out and as he's leaving give him his stuff and get the fuck out of there that's what i would do um i don't know if that's necessarily toxic i just think it's a great game plan anyways

yeah if my boyfriend was playing for only fans behind my back that would be a huge no-no hi hannah hi hotties of the world I have so many questions and so many things that I could ask your advice on but honestly nothing that I wouldn't figure out the answer to on my own and with the help of my tarot deck um so this is like the first time I haven't missed a call and like I don't want to lose this chance but I really just wanted to let you know you have saved my life genuinely so many times you're like the older sister I never had and I swear whenever something in my life is going wrong and I need advice I go listen to your pod and I find an episode about it and it's like big sister advice talk and I just really wouldn't I don't know what I would be able to do without

you I love you so much I love my hotties I love the little community we've built I feel so safe on your side of the internet and thank you so much for that oh my fucking god biggest compliment ever that's all i wanted to do i want to create like a safe space for the girls gays whoever wants to come to just like be themselves figure themselves out because life is all about figuring yourself out and constantly evolving and growing and that's been one of my biggest goals with this podcast is just making sure that i am able to accept and be accepting of everybody whether you fucked up whether you've been the bad person whether you've been hurt whatever it is oh my god the eclipse is happening it's getting darker out this is insane i was like why did it just get a little darker out

oh my god anyways i love you all so much and i just really appreciate you being here and being honest and open with um not only me but with yourself as well anyways i love you so much thank you for the kind words and i hope you have a wonderful day love you i see so many posts about like weaponizing incompetence with men where it's like i wanted this specific type of ramen i sent him a screenshot i sent him the exact fucking name of the ramen i sent him to the store with my money and he comes back with the wrong thing men are not stupid they just don't care about you if that man cared about you he would get you the type of fucking ramen you wanted if he cared about you he would be able to think with his brain his adult is adult form brain and know oh my girlfriend

only eats this one type of ramen i've only ever seen her eat this one type of ramen this is the only kind of ramen that she eats let me go buy that kind let me look at the screenshots she sent me and buy that kind of ramen it's not weaponized incompetence he just doesn't care about you it's so simple like women don't have that problem why because we care too much why do these men have this issue constantly it's because they don't care about you my last boyfriend he knew nothing about me talk about what about his incompetence for one of my birthdays he bought me season passes to worlds of fun which is like a roller coaster park here in kansas city i hate roller coasters i hate them it's like a known fact about me i will not get on a roller coaster i don't give a

fuck oh it's gonna be a fun time just get on no no i don't like heights it like gives me so much anxiety i hate it bitch we've been together for two years and you get me season passes to worlds of fun it's not weaponizing competence he just does not fucking like you anyways sent my boyfriend out to go get uh weed and burgers last night and uh he came home with both and i didn't have to specify anything that i wanted wow life is good someone said preach to me about situationships again i just think it's known that if you are not wanted why stay you know like you always have the option to go after what is good for you go after what is better for you go after what is clear to you and when you don't choose that you're kind of sabotaging yourself in a sense or you're kind of

showing the universe that you deserve less and i really wish people would show themselves that they deserve more and think to themselves and understand what they deserve and then enact that in real life the only person who is making you stay in this situationship is you the only person who's waiting around for another person is you i think it's very easy to be a human and have clear honest intentions as you probably do and if that's not reciprocated to you then why are you staying do you know what i mean i mean situationships can be fun and toxic and blah blah blah but like is that what you deserve in this life if you're having fun right now and that's all you're looking for then sure but truly like we have a choice and if you were not desired why would you stay

it's a waste of your time it's a waste of your beautiful energy and you deserve more always what are your indispensable rituals for maintaining your overall sense of grounding wow round of applause for this question indispensable rituals overall sense of grounding i don't know if you're talking about like spiritual rituals or maybe daily rituals spiritually one thing that i keep in my house always is an altar or at least a space where i can spiritually express myself feel myself out a little bit um enjoy practice touch back in practice tarot whatever I want to do I think having an altar space in your house is really important at least for like if you're like a witchy spiritual person it just provides a sense

of self and gives like a reassurance and also is just like a prayer space the meditation space I feel like it really provides a grounding of who I am and what I enjoy practicing and what I enjoy leaning into but also at a more surface level basic understanding of rituals and everyday rituals I think daily routine is very important morning routines evening routines being able to work yourself up into a mindset to be able to go out into the world and then work your way down from a mindset of being in the world and be able to relax I feel like small meditations throughout the day is really important a great ritual finding enjoyment in the small things in life great ritual they don't always have to be so big as like ritualistic in the sense of spiritual

rituals and you know spells and things like that sometimes a great daily ritual is something small such as like i'm gonna take a shower for 15 minutes every night and just not think and like that's how you calm down from the day or it's like in the morning i wake up and i go and i make my coffee and it takes me maybe 15 minutes but i'm just waking up experiencing life hearing the bird sitting in the sunshine whatever it is that's like my daily meditation your daily ritual that kind of gives you that overall well-rounded sense of self and chills you out one of my other favorite daily rituals um especially because i'm big about self-expression and i love expressing myself through clothing is like giving myself an opportunity to like play dress up every day

like go put on a fun outfit go express yourself that way um get to know yourself a little bit more through that ritual and practicing practicing it every single day that's been my favorite so far um but it doesn't always have to be big and like serious such as like i need to journal 10 prompts a day or i need to do i mean not demeaning that in any sort of way but it doesn't always have to be so complicated it can be complicated if you need a more complicated ritual most of the time the thing that provides me grounding in this daily life are the small things um and finding peace and joy in those things what music have you been listening to recently um i haven't been listening to a lot of music recently it's something i've been trying to fix

but i do have a 2024 playlist if you look up smoke sesh one word on spotify it's a picture of me in a bunny hat from like four years ago um but all of my music all my playlist playlists are public and on there and you can check it out i need to make a new like smoking playlist but i do have quite a few songs on my 2024 playlist if you want to check it out now that i'm healed every man i go out with is an ick loser how do i find someone on my level um whenever you have the ick it's actually god coming to you and showing you that this is not the man for you um yeah that's a real thing i feel like when you're at like a low place in your life you're really accepting of and of course you should be accepting of everybody but you're a little bit too inviting

to everybody and you put up with a lot that you definitely shouldn't put up with but once you actually have like peace and understanding with yourself and you're not willing to budge with that peace or understanding you will get the ick from a lot of people and you will realize okay a lot of these people i don't want anywhere near me and consider that a blessing okay it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or you're like too good or there's no good men out there there are it just means you're gonna have to weed out of a lot now okay and that ick is valid you need to listen to that ick i don't think a lot of women listen to the ick i think they're just like that's an ick and ew but then they stay and i'm like oh my god girl you're posting about an ick you have

with your boyfriend of five years the ick is he doesn't respect you leave please i'm begging like oh my god what's going on like that's not an ick that's that's a personality issue like that's a that's a boundary breaking issue um consider it though your rose colored glasses are gone and now you have been blessed with true vision and you can truly see what is good for you understand your boundaries understand what you want in your life what you desire and do not settle please do not settle um finding someone on your level though is really just going to take time and the more you focus on yourself the more they will be called towards you i promise um but yeah listen to that ick and if you don't like a man there's no reason you need to entertain him

at all you're not a court jester oh this is a fun question someone said hey girl i have a ballet related predicament so long story short me and my boyfriend of almost two years are ballet dancers i dance in new orleans he's in another state but i'm reuniting with him next year because i got a way better job at his company where he's dancing anyway he's romeo in romeo and juliet so slay right he's such a cutie and gives dorky leo dicaprio and i love however he also has to kiss another girl on stage and in rehearsal and it's not a quick peck i'm so supportive of him and i know he loves me and he's done a good job of reassuring me that he's not into his juliettes plural because i'm sure there's like a i don't know what they call him but like the backup girl

which i believe i just feel i just still feel so sad and weird about it what the fuck should i do girl i don't know if this will make it to the pod because i'm so early but like anything helps lol love you so much love you okay i understand how you can you know maybe have some anxieties about this but like you said he has reassured you and he has you know showed to you like this is not uh you know something that i'm doing because it's something that i desire as in desiring another woman it's something i just i'm doing because i desire the role and listen for a bag you can't get in the way of a bad girl you can't you gotta be supportive of the bag it's just a cute little kiss imagine if he was an actor and he's like no i gotta go perform a sex scene like imagine

so put it into perspective understand like it's not that bad it's just like a you know quickish kiss a kiss on stage cute vibes whatever but one thing you can't do as a partner is get in the way of your partner's bag you can't now unless it's like this is like a deal breaker like i can never put up with it it's gonna be weird though it's gonna be a little weird you know your partner is kissing someone else um i would just say if you can not visualize it as much as possible like of course go see his play whatever but when it gets to the part where he's kissing just like privacy look down no need to visualize no need to have that image in your head you know no need to see or experience or hear about understand it's happening and it's happening

on good terms with boundaries involved but no need to visualize go support but no need to watch that happen in front of you you know what i mean like if my partner was an actor and needed to go kiss another woman in a movie i would just be like i'm good i'm not gonna go see that movie like if my boyfriend was an actor in a rom-com i'd just be like i choose peace you know imagine how sydney sweeney's fucking fiance feels i know he's going through it that's crazy that shit is insane um but once again boundaries are involved if you need reassurance he sounds like a sweet guy sounds like you can ask about it try not to get in the way of your partner in a bag unless it's really really really breaking your boundaries and of course do what you gotta do leave if you need

if it's a really bad boundary break then like of course leave if you need but this sounds like just something that is very casual business related it doesn't sound like he has any intentions towards any of his juliettes it's just something that's gotta happen in order to make that fucking money you gotta support the money have him take you out to a good dinner afterwards for that emotional fucking toll that you gotta go through and live your best life because i'm sure if you were that juliet and he wasn't a romeo and you got that part as a ballet dancer you would be like i gotta do what i gotta do for a bag like not thinking too much about it i'm not like you know i'm not doing this for fun i'm doing this for the part it's my dream part i want to do it

it's a part of the job part of the gig and i know your boyfriend will be supportive of you so it's kind of like you gotta give what you would want to get you know and maybe one day you will play juliet and he will have to go through what you went through but yeah what a predicament oh my god also congrats ballet dancer okay baddie anyways i love you all it is literally getting dark out from this eclipse so my boyfriend's gonna come pick me up we're gonna go sit in the park and enjoy this eclipse i hope you have learned something today or taken something positive from this episode um and remember to spread joy peace positivity everywhere that you go um and especially towards yourself the one person who deserves forgiveness in this life is yourself

the one person who deserves trust and understanding from you is you lean into your dreams trust your intuitions trust your gut get out into that world experience have fun everything you deserve and desire is on its way to you with that being said i love you so much if you want to see more from me join the patreon i'll have like a uh hour or so maybe a little less depending on how much i edit out um on the patreon just extra content posts journal prompts affirmations astrology updates especially about this eclipse going on mercury retrograde updates um and vlogs things like that that's on the patreon patreon.com smoke shawty and of course you can see all my extra content on my instagram instagram.com slash hannah marlene um and yeah i keep you updated on my life there

and podcast updates will be there as well but i love you all i'll let you get going with your beautiful day and i'll see you all next week Thank you.