Smoke Sesh - evil eye, fall prep & saying yes to life

Episode Date: September 2, 2025

hello everyone and welcome back to another amazing episode of smoke sesh! so excited to sit down and dream with you all a little bit, we talk what ive been up to, my party girl era, sunflower season, learning to love your hometown, horseback riding lessons, following your heart, fall inspo, fall mood board, deep cleaning, pre winter purge, fall rituals, fall equinox, simmer pot, being okay alone, breaking out of relationships, period rituals, go to period munchies, having breakfast for three hours, slowing down and living more, evil eye, protecting your energy, what to do when encountering evil, mean people, being in a negative state, the most evil person I've ever met, protection spells, friendship burnout, taking time to be alone, new season new perfume, orabella, ulta, girl tips, ingrown hairs, current fav creator, how to teach em in the bedroom, communication, how to eat it, creating whimsy in your life, living for the little things, conflict in relationships, what to do when no one likes him, building a home on a budget, saying yes to life, and much much much more! if you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and submit your questions to the insta at hannahmarlene! all love, MUAH!

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but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello hotties of the freaking world and welcome back to another sexy little fun episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and i'm so excited to be back with you all this beautiful tuesday you guys there is a chill in the air i repeat there is a chill in the air i have started doing my end of summer bucket list i just went to the sunflower fields this weekend on a little fun little day activity got my photos done did my thing frolicked through the flowers

watch the bumblebees buzz around as they also prepare for winter it was beautiful it's always so nice getting out into the country where it's just quiet silent i used to have a lot of hatred for where i live i feel like just like core experience of any teenager going through their life is you will always go through a phase where you hate where you live you could live in the most beautiful place in the entire fucking world you could be a nepo baby from new york you could be living in malibu on the fucking ocean you could be in italy you could be anywhere and still as a teenager you go through that phase of like this sucks i want to run away and i want to escape it's just a part of life it's a part of growing up it is a part of just like that transformational

quality of being a teenager and wanting to just like grow your wings and fly because you feel so trapped where you are but i do think the true healing era of your mid-20s is when you finally realize like damn okay maybe where I'm from isn't so bad sure maybe the townspeople suck maybe whatever sucks maybe this sucks maybe that sucks but the land the place the energy you will fall back in love with it just because it does have that home like quality and I will say the plains of Kansas seeing the rolling hills being able to look across the plains for miles of just greenery and see so many different layers of clouds it really is beautiful it's undeniably beautiful and I do think a part of me healed when I finally accepted like okay no need to stop running away

sometimes a part of growing is accepting who you truly are so it is nice to just get out there and embrace where I'm from you know what I mean I know for a fact I won't be here forever I know I probably won't live in Kansas or Missouri or Kansas City forever that's for sure I know I have bigger better places to travel and live to I know northern California is calling my name but for now while I'm here I'm not gonna sit and just like let my life slip me by because I want to be somewhere else I'm gonna take advantage of where I am and you know enjoy it to the highest potential that it has absolutely so we went to the sunflower fields we went frolicking we went to Lawrence since it's close to the fields and we had some time to kill walk down mass street I got

some blind boxes i got some new sunny angels and smiskies i love them i love a blind box gambling girl gambling blind boxes love it endlessly oh my god and i've been running into a lot of you guys this weekend i've just been out and about i was definitely in a hole for a while for a couple years honestly where i wasn't leaving my house i was just like work home work home work home but now i'm like oh my god girl we gotta get outside we gotta get running around and enjoying our life and oh my god i ran into one of you guys page shout out my girl um when we were getting lunch at free stay she is the cutest little girly ever oh my god we kiki for a second the one thing i love about all of you guys when i meet you is you're always down to like chat and i you know me

i'm always down to fucking chat girl sit sit your ass right down next in the booth next to me let's have a conversation you know um so ran into her she was so cute but it was such a beautiful little week and weekend i hope you guys have been enjoying i still have some things that i need to cross off my bucket list for end of summer i want to go apple picking i want to do uh renaissance fair that's another big one a big one on my to-do list mama needs a turkey leg and some mead poured into my mouth asap so maybe next week i'll do that but slowly but surely i'm just taking advantage of this weather that we have of the greenery while we have it so when you know winter rolls around i have zero regret regrets regrets the key to enjoying winter and being able to survive it

and have hope for the future is having zero regrets from when the weather was good so if you've been inside all summer all spring all soon to be fall this is your sign just get outside even if it is just going to your backyard or your front porch on your patio and just like taking a couple deep breaths of fresh air that is enough for me and it probably will be enough for your soul just get outside and enjoy it while we have it so you're not holed up inside like what the fuck did i do oh my god i've been inside for so long seriously but yes i had a pretty eventful weekend i also went out i've been on like a party kick i'm not gonna lie um usually like one night every weekend i tend to go out and later than i probably should be out the past couple of times

me and my co-workers have just been going out or me and my friends but this time around my boyfriend's friend was back in town from california and he wanted to go hit all of his favorite spots in kansas city so of course we had to go run around and bounce around and it's so nice having been out so many times that i've made enough friends at all these bars or like i've i've i'm comfortable at these bars that when i go it's just like another day in my life you know like the bouncer's like hey girl i'm like hey how you doing he's like i don't even need to check your ids just come on in like we be having a key and it's so nice to kind of get in that flow state where you feel comfortable you know the people you get to chit chat a little bit it's more of

like a little social hour um and i've really been enjoying that recently who knows how long that'll last because i'll tell you what i am not a party girl in the winter uh if i have to wear traction boots and a 30 pound coat to hit the club I fear I'd rather just be inside you know what I mean so like I said getting out as much as I can enjoying the weather enjoying the end of summer sweetness I also just posted a photo on Instagram of just like a conglomerate of what I have been up to this summer just a lot of fun aesthetic photos of course you know some sunflower photos things like that some last minute summer bikini photos so if you want to check those out you can see them at hannah marlene on instagram i'm also posting my hair tutorial my much much requested

curly hair tutorial on instagram it's much easier than you ever could have imagined but that's been a big request from you guys and more recipes of course you guys i get a lot of questions that are like um how do i start posting on social media how do i start posting on social media how do i are posting on social media and a lot of it I think is coming from the perspective of like I need big numbers I need this video to hit I need this to get a million kajillion quadrillion fucking likes like I need you know the attention and recently on my social media journey I mean I've been doing social media for a long time I mean genuinely if I'm looking back on it I think a good solid five years I've been social doing social media for like a job like for fun of

course but also like for a job on the side you know serving or in school whatever it was still doing it on the side and I kind of got I knew how to do it at the beginning where it was just like I'm doing this for fun I'm posting for fun I'm doing things that interest me and if people like it they like it if they don't they don't I don't give a fuck like I'm doing this for myself I'm posting for myself and then it got kind of hazy and I got lost in the grind of it all and I started being like well what do other people want from me like grasping at straws like I need to prove myself how do I get numbers how do I get this how do I get that and it kind of put me in a hole where I didn't enjoy it for a while I mean this podcast is one thing because hello always will enjoy this

but things like TikTok or Instagram or reels anything like that where it's maybe short form or photo content I kind of lost the love of it all because I started focusing too much on the numbers the numbers don't matter if you want to post on social media if you have a small business if you have you know you want to do your thing you want to be an influencer you want to do whatever I don't care I don't judge everybody has passions everybody has dreams if you want to accomplish it do not look at the numbers I got in a hole on Instagram where I was so worried about numbers because I had just hit like 100k and that was like a big goal of mine for a long time I was like I want to hit 100k that's like my dream of just like you know I just want to work towards it you

got to have goals you got to have things that you want to accomplish and so I finally hit it but then I just hit 100k and I got so nervous because I was like well I don't want to post anything and have people unfollow me I don't want to do this I don't want to do that like I'm so worried about dropping below it and then i realized holy shit i am holding myself back so much and honestly i probably need to clear out a couple of like a few hundred people a few hundred followers because i'm sure they're just like either bots or just men we don't want you here i'm so sorry actually i will say there has been a influx of straight men listening to this podcast and you're welcome here okay if you are straight man listening to this podcast it's probably not with malice or

evil in your heart it's probably with just like genuine curiosity and desire to just like girl it out and i respect that you know what i mean like me and my boyfriend love to have a little key my boyfriend's friends love hanging around me because men want to have a key men want to chit chat and like talk about their girlfriends or talk about like what they're going on in their life and so i'm happy to have you here absolutely but on instagram the evilest of men do live there and so sometimes you got to clear it out sometimes you got to not focus on numbers and you just got to post you got to post and post and post and post and post your little heart out and enjoy every second of it put content out that you enjoy and yeah you know what i did

lose some followers i don't give a fuck this is my life you're on my instagram page this phone is too goddamn expensive for me to care but i have been starting to share more of myself recently over there and it has felt so freeing and joyful because i do have such a passion for just like living and sharing and creating like i love editing videos i love being in an editing hole is what my boyfriend calls it where i'm just locked in on like a cooking reel or like a hair tutorial video or even a youtube video for like hours i'm not even kidding sometimes eight plus hours it's so nice to be in that flow state and just be so passionate about something so if you can find that or you feel that passion deep in your soul and you haven't taken that next step

just do it just do it just go for it you've nothing holding you back if you're afraid of what people think block them get rid of them like i said this is my phone this is my page you do not control what i do i control what i do period i mean don't be evil but like if you just want to post fun videos or share things that you're making or share things that you're interested in whether it's video games or content creation movies creating do it please i'm begging you it could be life-changing you can make the best of best connections who knows what could come out of it but i guarantee it's going to be something positive not something negative and first of all people are going to judge you on social media the life that they're living inside of their head

is so deep dark and scary that of course they're judging everybody else around them why would you let that get to you when you know they're living in hell already you know hell is initially gonna hate heaven when they see it so live your life don't let them get to you don't even think about the perception the only perception you should ever think about is yourself okay rants aside because i remember i had that conversation on patreon a couple times and i figured i wanted to touch on it here as well with you guys but yeah that's all i've really been up to just enjoying life getting out running around in the fields oh my god i had my first horseback riding lesson i had my first horseback riding lesson everybody was so excited for me i had a great time my trainer is amazing

she threw me right up on that fucking horse i got right on that horse i mean after you know like learning how to saddle up learning how to brush learning how to pick their hooves like we did it all and these horses are so sweet so kind i think they're used to working with children so that made me feel a little bit better because children are unpredictable so these horses are like they're ready for anything you know what i mean of course you still have to respect them but it's taught me a little bit more about like working with something um i haven't challenged myself in a way like this for a long time and it's really sparked a new passion in my life because i feel like i got such in the adult hole of work home cook dinner sleep work home cook

dinner sleep work home cook dinner sleep and my god is that fucking mundane we as adults our lives get really boring when we stop challenging ourselves the reason our like teens and high school and college career go by so fucking quickly is because we are doing so many new things all the time and sure it's hard it could be frustrating it could be you know a little tiresome but it it creates a fruitful and exciting life a life that is meant worth living and then you know we get kind of caught up in the rat race of it all we forget about like the challenges that really do bring new perspective and new understanding of self and so I challenge you guys to get out there and try something new if you feel like life's been boring lately your life's been mundane or

you know maybe there's one thing you've always wanted to do but you're like haha I can't be that girl yes you can yes you can my parents grew up on farms my parents grew up around horses my parents grew up around all that stuff and they decided it wasn't for them so they moved us to the suburbs so I didn't really grow up like on a farm or around animals like that of course like my extended family absolutely and I grew up in a city where it was still very very small where like farm country and all that was very close like there were horses on a farm like right next to my house of course but i wasn't aware of what it was like but it was something in the back of my head that i always wanted to do and i'm so glad i just that i decided to say you know what fuck it

fuck it i'm gonna go do it i'm getting it done i'm gonna go try if i don't like it at least i tried and now i know for my own peace of mind is it a sitting here and wander or wondering but i loved it you guys you will always surprise yourself if you challenge yourself how much you actually might like it so now i'm like what other challenges can i add to my life what other things can i do i think i want to do silversmithing that's big on my list i want to learn how to make jewelry because my grandmother did it and i never got to meet her or my great-grandmother and so i kind of want to be you know able to carry that tradition along with me and also i want to get in the gym that's a big goal of mine this winter i need to get in a good gym routine so

then i am able to just like feel more comfortably fit be able to also horseback ride easier because holy shit are you engaging not only every single ounce of your brain but also every single muscle you have so that oh and also i'm getting my belly button pierced this week you guys crazy what am i going through i don't know what transformational phase i'm going through but i'm doing it all i'm doing it all fuck it we only have one life to live truly not gonna let myself hold me back and i sure as hell i'm not gonna let anybody else hold me back but yes i love you all thank you for being here i'm so sorry about this long rant i know i apologized last week and you guys were like no i love the rants so hopefully you were able to take something from that but enough of me

let's get into everything that you guys have on your minds oh okay i guess we are moving on to the fall era someone asked what's your favorite thing to look forward to in fall how do you ring in the cozy vibes okay wait when's the fall equinox i need to look it up do do okay fall equinox is monday september 22nd so we do have some time but as we head that direction i do have a lot of things on my checklist that i need to do just to kind of set myself up for success for the fall so to ring in the cozy vibes i am big on this especially spring and fall these are the two times that i really really do this and maybe i'll vlog it for youtube i kind of stopped i kind of fell off the youtube wagon i'm so sorry to my youtube girlies i'll be back don't worry i think i'm

to vlog my belly button piercing excursion but one big big thing that I do is I purge I purge my house specifically I purge everything everything I go through every closet I go through every corner every crevice I look at everything I pick up and I hold and I touch everything in my house and I ask myself is this something I need around me because my god I'm a maximalist sure but sometimes I have a habit of just like collecting collecting collecting collecting and not getting rid of old things and I just we got to create space you know what I mean we got to make space for some newness and also there's nothing better than a clean house going into fall and winter because you can't purge in the winter girl there's eight feet of snow outside how are you going to

load all that stuff up in your car to take to goodwill I don't have four wheel traction that is not going to work so do it in the fall when the weather's still cool so when you're moving things out of your house you're not like overheating and sweating and also it's easier to get there to get rid of and then in the winter you are set up for success with a beautiful clean house I don't know what it is about me being an adult but I be cleaning I be deep cleaning I understand why my mom was so pissed at me all the time when I was like no my room's clean and it's like trashed i understand now because that girl would wake up 8 a.m sharp youtube tour album blasting on the fucking speakers downstairs oh my god deep cleaning all day i didn't get it i didn't

understand i'm like there's more to life to cleaning but now i'm like if i'm in a dirty house it actually makes me want to rip my skin off so so you know i love a deep clean especially on the equinox i think it really just sets a perfect vibe oh it's on a monday amazing maybe I'll do a like a Sunday deep clean going into the equinox and then a little equinox celebration you can do or even a little fall celebration is I love a simmer pot I do I love a simmer pot maybe I'll do that for a YouTube video just to show you it's very simple you get a pot of water you put it on your stove and you add as many different things like smell goods or you know herbs that you want to use either in a spiritual sense or even in just like an aesthetic sense of I want

my house to smell like apples or i want my house to smell like lemon and lavender any conglomeration of things but in the fall i love cinnamon i love sage i love apples i love oranges and you keep the pot on low on your stove as you're deep cleaning and just let it simmer it makes your house smell amazing i think it just sets it up for some great energy for some great vibes and as the water you boils out you just add more add more add more of course all the fall activities apple picking i go to the an apple cidery and we get apple donuts i go pumpkin picking all the cooking i'm literally sitting down to cook my family this is the first time i've ever like cooked my family a full meal i mean in high school i cooked a lot but it was like okay here's your chicken breast and

boiled vegetables yeah uh-huh gross anyways now that i'm an adult and i have adult money and i enjoy cooking and i do it for a profession basically i'm like i am slow smoking ribs all day i'm making potato salad i'm making homemade baked beans i'm making fresh roasted veggies like let's get into it so that will be super fun but i love all the cooking in the fall all the fall recipes pumpkin spice syrup for my coffee every morning speaking of coffee i've been in a big drip coffee era i have been drinking lattes every single morning couple times a day for the past four years and finally i'm back in my drip coffee era it's chilly enough that i'm ready for some hot coffee speaking of i was like where the fuck is my coffee um so i've been big into drip coffee

recently especially in the fall drip coffee black coffee with a splash of homemade pumpkin syrup spice it is the best thing ever especially in the fall i'm gonna make a recipe for you guys on instagram at hannah marlene if you're interested share it with you all there so you can have a taste of fall with you as well but yeah i think a lot about the seasons is just paying attention to the little things the little things that bring you joy the little things that you know make up the season yes i will be that white girl in those knee-high fucking boots and suede hat walking down the orange tree lined road country roads take me home yes absolutely i will be that white girl this fall so if you want to join me i'll probably be posting some vlogs some youtube videos some

things on instagram so follow me there but yeah it's all about the little things deep cleaning purging so you have space to enjoy decorating for all of the seasons of course getting some good scents going some smell good some yummy food and just trying to get outside as much as possible is it weird to not yearn for a relationship after usually always doing so no i think it means you're healed i think this is a very very good sign i've had friends go through situations like this where it's like they grew up and they were always in a relationship first grade first grade hello oh my god no eighth grade first love relationship freshman year to sophomore year senior year freshman year of college to senior year always in a relationship and they finally find themselves

out of one and they're like i'm burnt out i have no more to give and i need to give to myself i see this a lot and i do think it is a positive so don't worry about that i don't think it's like you're giving up i think it's more so like you feel more comfortable with yourself that you don't need a supplement from elsewhere you don't need to you know be in these surface level relationships or force yourself into another relationship to feel love because you're already creating that for yourself. You're already creating that love inside of yourself. You're holding yourself to higher standards

as well as holding other people to higher standards and maybe they're just not meeting them and you're okay with that. It's okay if people don't meet standards, you know what I mean? I don't think that's something you need to be upset over. I think it is just like a matter of fact that you're growing up,

you're feeling more stable in yourself and you know you're not gonna settle and I do think that is really, really beautiful and I think it's a great next step. I think it'll also probably set you up for success in your next relationship where it's like I am okay being alone because I give myself everything so if somebody else comes into my life it better be really fucking special like your partner in general should make your life better your partner should make your life easier your partner should make your life more simple more

straightforward they should provide a safe and calm relaxing environment they should provide peace and stability and just overall success in your life and you know if you have that for yourself they better provide it tenfold in your next relationship so no i don't think it's not i don't think it's weird i do think it is a a sign of growth so cheers to that go to period snacks craving you guys i'm about to start my period so trust me i am locked in on this one i felt the pang this morning of think about my period when it starts tmi but you're welcome i'm sure we all go through this i'm like oh my god i'm gonna shit my pants oh my i'm gonna put my pants what is going on no you're not girl you actually don't have to do that at all it actually

is just the period cramps and my before period period cramps are worse than any cramps i get on my period it's like a full day of just like my body prepping and then releasing but my god period cramps are the fucking worst i literally thought to myself this morning i'm like i think it would be less painful if i put my fist inside of myself grab my uterus and ripped it out with my nails i think it would genuinely be less painful to do that than to go through period cramps so once again if you're a straight man listening to this go buy your girlfriend flowers go buy her coffee go take her out on a beautiful day if she doesn't want to go on a date she's on her period and is freaking out you know what order her favorite food in put on her favorite movie leave her alone maybe feed

her a gummy if she's feeling it but you need to be on your hands and knees thanking her for what she's going through because my god it is oh it's awful so of course to just make the process easier on myself i do love my food i love my food food is meant to be enjoyed and celebrated and shared I think food is beautiful especially some sour gummy snakes I love the twin snakes you know the twin snakes where it's like one sour one sweet and they're stuck together that is my all-time favorite favorite I mean gummy in general but especially on my period that is my go-to snack twin gummy snakes any sort of gummy I love a gummy I don't crave a lot of things on my period but i do crave gummy snakes especially at like 2 a.m i remember one time i was having a mental

breakdown and i told my boyfriend i was like i need this right fucking now or i'm gonna fucking lose myself i'm gonna you know sometimes you enter that zone where you're like i have one thing that will make me happy and that's it and he's so sweet he door dashed it immediately love it love a man who listens but that and then a five guys burger specifically the five guys patty melts where it's basically just a grilled cheese and they stuff it full of as many patties as you could possibly want as many sauces as many vegetables and a large cajun fry facing that on my period truly heals me i really think it does and yeah five guys is expensive or whatever but it it's the best burger it's the best burger i mean sure you can go to like a little diner burger place fantastic not

on my period i want a down dirty slutty nasty ass dripping wet burger as much meat as i can possibly fit into my mouth i'm not even kidding but those are the two things that i'm like on my period yeah yep i will always be purchasing those things oh you thought i was gonna sit up here and give you healthy options no babe no babe that and then also i think a really great ritual that was taught to me actually by size spoon i love size spoon endlessly she talks a lot about having like three hour long breakfasts where it's like you sit down you're doing your work or whatever at the table but you have like a grapefruit eggs toast like bacon as much just like little things and you snack and just sip coffee for three hours i highly recommend doing that on your period

absolutely if you can go to a little diner with your friends it's fantastic if you can create that for yourself at home especially on like a weekend maybe a Sunday morning where you just sit down and you snack you have a little cantaloupe you have a little boiled egg you have a little pancake just like little things here and there where you're snacking for like three hours in the morning oh it's amazing oh it's so good I think it's just a great ritual to just like feed your body nourish your soul slow down relax focus on regroup and regrowth which is the exact same phase your body's in i think it's a beautiful way to kind of celebrate that and ritualize it can you talk about evil eye and how you protect yourself from it illy queen so i mean i will say evil eye is

very real evil in general is very real some people can see evil eye through hatred jealousy any sort of just like angry or upset emotion that people take from themselves and place on you I think sometimes we see it in a passive-aggressive sense where people will compliment you when in reality they want to kind of like put you down so they do it in a passive-aggressive way sometimes they'll say it straight up to your face sometimes it's a look

sometimes it's an energy sometimes it's a sly sleight of hand either way I do think I have a pretty good sense of protecting myself from it And I do think the number one way to protect yourself from evil eye is to stand your ground in positivity. Stand your ground in positivity. Because the whole idea of evil eye is they're trying to place their, you know, upset nature from themselves onto you. They want your mood to turn negative. They want you to take on bad fortune. They want you to take on just evil and hatred they want to drag you to the depths of hell with them i say that a lot um where it's just like

some people are evil and they want you to feel that way too because they're miserable and so they want everybody else around them to be miserable so the number one way to just ward off evil eye is to stand your ground in positivity to stand strong in yourself to understand no this is who i am and i love myself no matter what no matter what you might think i know i'm a positive person I know I enjoy life around me like sorry you're miserable but I refuse to be I think that's the number one way to ward it off so when that passive-aggressive comment slaps you across the face you can just be like that's a weird thing to say out loud you know you can just quickly clock their tea and move on or if it's like damn they really went off on me there it's like that

sucks for them they must really hate their life because I didn't do nothing it's things like that where it's kind of just it is a force field in a sense where if you stand your ground in positive energy not a lot can get in that bubble negativity will have no room to stand in such a positive aura and I think the way I was able to generate that so strongly within myself is I mean I went through a very negative phase and I realized how much it really did me so little and how much a lot of it was self-inflicted so I was able to see the other perspective I was able to understand where they're coming from and know that it has nothing to do with me I mean if I was an evil person and someone was calling me out for it absolutely if I was ugly and smelled and someone

called me out for it I get it but I know that's not based in reality and I know a lot of that negative energy a lot of that evil eye is coming from that insecurity inside themselves or negativity that they've created inside themselves that they want other people to feel because they hate themselves so why wouldn't you hate yourself you know it's like that weird downward spiral it really is and it's hard to break out of so if you were able to break out of it props to you I'm proud of you I think everybody should be able to but the way I was able to break out of it was a realizing a that did nothing for me okay being negative does nothing for me it really doesn't doesn't get me anywhere doesn't get me ahead of those other people doesn't make me prettier doesn't make me

smarter doesn't make me more well-rounded as an individual it just makes me a shell of a human being so a having that realization knowing where it's coming from and then putting time and effort into myself and not like in a i need to transform myself into the baddest person that i know i need to be the hottest sexiest amazing person ever like no not in a facetious way definitely more so in a I want to feel strong and confident in who I am strip away everything who am I strip away all the clothes money any sort of aesthetics that you have who are you how would you describe that if you come up blank we need to get to work babe you know what are your hobbies what drives you what provides you inspiration it doesn't have to be some big amazing grandeur answer it could be hey that coffee in the

morning really drives me or you know i really really love the smell of a fresh honey crisp apple sliced up in the afternoon you know i really really enjoy the aesthetics or understanding of a certain color it could be so so so very simple but the more you know about yourself the more you understand what you like and the more you seek it out inside yourself the stronger your personality become the stronger understanding you'll have in yourself also they're challenging yourself you know picking up new hobbies trying new things putting yourself out there it just creates such a trust and understanding in yourself that is truly unbreakable unshakable i know some people talk about like warding off through different spells or you know egg cleanses sometimes i get

a little crazy and i do have to do some rituals but also when i was younger i don't talk about this a lot but when i was younger my one of my first tattoos ever actually my first real tattoo yes is a giant like protection eye on the back of my neck it's massive it's probably like this big I don't know why I got it that big I do love it I'm not gonna lie I wish I maybe would have gotten it smaller but I love the message of it all where you know I always wanted a a protection tattoo I always wanted something that you know was looking out for me and my friend was like put it on the back of your neck so then something is always you know watching out for you something is always watching your back even if you have your back turned something is always looking out for you

because I always had that innate feeling of there is something always protecting me there is something always looking out for me whether it's myself or a higher power a higher being I do believe the universe operates in a way that always is lifting me up and I believe it's also lifting you up as well and I wanted to commemorate that and just have something to take along with me so yeah I have a giant evil eye or like protection eye tattoo on the back of my neck and I'm sure some people are like no no you can't get that listen we all have different rituals we all have different ways that we approach life and it is what it is but I do think that is a big kind of like sigil I carry with me that does also do a lot of protection and I do I'm thankful for younger

Hannah of having that beautiful artistic idea and being able to carry that along with me but I know some people wear evil eye pendants bracelets whatever it is maybe even just like certain crystals call out to you and you want to carry that with you some sort of protection i love an opal stone i always have some opal or gold on me because i do feel like that is like a protection material but whatever calls to you i think is very important and you should incorporate but most importantly stand strong in your positivity stand strong in yourself and your beliefs and understanding of who you are and nobody no matter how ugly or mean or evil or negative will ever be able to shake that ever actually can we talk about the evilest person I've met in quite a long time

she was my old boss at my job and she was a manager and I'm not gonna be mean but she was evil and it's literally like I'm talking from the depths of hell plucked out crawled her way out as if she was like a fucking demon gremlin demon crawled her way out like literally to create people's lives um in a more negative sense and to make them harder and more awful and horrible and i think she actually taught me a huge lesson so i am thankful for her in that sort of sense because when i met her i thought i was pretty stable in this idea of like positivity and who i am And then I met her and the passive-aggressive comments, the demeaning behavior, the overall negativity. I'm talking every single shift I worked with her, I was in the walk-in freezer crying.

Every single shift, whether it was her being like, you're not doing your best, you're not doing this, you're not doing that. I just let it get to me so much because she also approached it in a sense of like, no, but we're best friends. so I should tell everything to you and you should tell everything to me but also anything you tell to me I'm going to make fun of you about it was like very evil demon hours and I had a hard time grasping with that because I do find myself lucky to approach very genuine people and not be around that energy very often and if I was it was like a very you know casual sense of like okay we're in line getting salads why are you pressed lady or like you know a one-off situation it wasn't like every shift I worked I was around that person it took me a long time to realize like I don't owe

her anything you know what I mean if I speak to her or I talk to her and she flips it around and turns it negative on me honestly like I need to withdraw and preserve my energy and keep it very very close to me so then you know I'm not dealing with so much conflict in my life or if she did like come after me or try and like you know make fun of me demean me talk down to me I always would clock it with what a weird thing to say out loud or you know I really just don't feel that way or I'm so sorry you're struggling like you know like genuine understanding and answers but also like I am projecting that back to you like I am warding off what you're saying with my response you know like i am turning that around back on you because a lot of these like evil people narcissistic people

people who want to put you down make your life worse feed off of you going down with them so do not give them that power do not give them that energy and it was a big lesson it took me a long time to learn and i'm so glad i learned it but oh my god she got fired and the other day um i was at the restaurant visiting and she showed up i turned around and she was there and i actually went like like i saw a ghost i was like what the fuck did i who the fuck is here right now oh my god that was so scary like what the hell who let her in but it really taught me because you know she was talking about where she is in life and i i stood and i listened because i'm i'm not evil i'm not gonna be like fuck off bitch even though in my heart maybe that's how i feel but i realized

like oh my god she is just as miserable and tired and sad as she was before and I have grown so so much so I'm so thankful for that lesson she taught me and how I was able to approach life afterwards and how much positivity I instilled in myself throughout that transformation because I saw that she did zero work and she was more miserable than ever and I had done 10 times 100 times the work and i was so much happier and i was like damn positivity always wins it really does positivity good goodness of your heart love it will always win if you're gonna feed into any emotion let it be that it'll set you up for success me and my roommate are having friendship issues advice two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar

raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Hear that? It's your money calling. it wants a promotion elevate your savings with the scotia high interest savings account always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest conditions apply visit scotiabank.com slash hisa to learn more scotia bank you're richer than you think honestly i think with any sort of relationship that you have um whether it's

like a lover's relationship roommates friends casual whatever it may be I think relationship burnout is a thing and I also I hate I hate that the idea of cutting people off has become so prevalent because it really has you know I think it's really surface leveled our relationships where it's like if you're not if you're not on your best behavior and giving everything to somebody then you're nothing to them and they're just going to cut you off and get rid of you and i think that's awful because some relationships the ones that are like worthwhile and last a long time i mean my friendships my long-term friendships are people i have known since literally i'm in the womb we've had fights we've literally fist fought like we have gone through phases where sometimes

we don't get along but i'm so glad we took time to work through those things understanding each other take some space so we were able to continue this relationship forward i mean i understand when some people it's like you fuck me over big time and i just don't trust you valid valid but if you just feel like the vibes are off or like you know we're just having more tiffs than usual i don't think it is like always something you need to get rid of or have to cut off quickly get rid of them i just think that it's just it's honestly just lazy i really do think it's lazy and yeah good relationships and good understandings of people take time take patience especially in a roommate situation where you're both on the lease like what the fuck do you do i think the best way the number

one way especially when you just feel burnt out maybe you're spending too much time together too much time around each other you need to take some time apart you do distance makes the heart grow fonder you just need some time apart you know what i mean and you're like hannah bitch we live in the same goddamn apartment how do I do that it's okay to be like hey you know hi casual go straight to your room keep it chill have your headphones on cook dinner you know make it clear make it known that you're just kind of in your own world in your own space and still take time for yourself maybe you're out of the apartment more often maybe you're going more places maybe you're just doing whatever to put a bit of distance between you two because it will make you realize

maybe how service level the problem was how much you do actually care about them or maybe how much you were just burnt out on you know your social battery battery was drained and you just needed to recoup recover yourself I think taking time is important and just taking space is necessary for any sort of relationship it's so easy to get burnt out on people especially when you're spending so much time together and sure sometimes you have those friends where it's like we can go months where every second we spend together but naturally it'll come to you one day where you're like okay i just need to need to rest and relax and go non-verbal for a couple days it's very normal it's very natural so i say i say if you're having just small tips or little problems here and there

take some time you know put some distance between it and then casually come together again keep it chill no need to fight no need to argue no need to like send that paragraph long text about how you hate they leave their dishes in the sink okay sometimes that's necessary but honestly sometimes it's best to just take a break take a pause take a beat step away for a second get a new perspective and then approach it in a more comfortable way oh my gosh you guys speaking about seasonal rituals I totally forgot to talk about this one big thing I do every season is I buy myself a new perfume something that just I feel like encapsulates the energy of that season And I think perfumes can be pretty much very closely accompanied by like spell work where

it's like protection scents. You can look at what it is utilizing in it and what spiritually that carries. But in general, I just love a new scent. OK, this is a new like adult hobby of mine is just collecting perfumes. And so the other day I've been getting ads and listen, sometimes ads work on me. Sometimes they do. also i've been following bella hadid very closely for a long time and she came out with her orabella um perfume line and for a while i was like some of the scents just don't sound good to me but she

came out with a new one and i was like okay well if i'm gonna buy a perfume i want to smell it i want to smell it i need to know what it smells like i need to know before i buy i'm just not going to order online if i do order anything online i'm ordering a sample size before i purchase 150 fucking dollar perfume you know what i mean like perfumes are expensive i want to make sure that i'm taking my time and really thinking through this purchase not just surface level purchasing it so i made my way to ulta the other day i made my way to test out the orabella scents and me and the girls in this ulta were having a key because i walked in and they're like hey can you can i help you and like i know it's their job but like if there's something i'm actually

looking for i'll be like hell yeah hell yeah girl i'm looking for the orabella perfume she's like i don't know what that is i'm like that's okay whatever so she's like okay well let's keep walking around let's go look around blah blah she links up with the perfume girl she's like do we have orabella the perfume girl's like i don't think so i don't know what that is we're looking around we're looking around she goes oh wait is it this they did have a case but i guess it must be not so popular because she had no clue where it was so she's pulling out the scents we're spraying them on each other we're like spraying them on the little thing and passing them back and forth and going oh ah oh my god this one smells this one's giving mermaid this one smells like fall

because i told them like i want like a grown woman fall scent i want a grown women like warm buttery beautiful scent and so we're passing them around she's like oh i think this one would be perfect this one would be perfect we were having i was in the ulta for fucking 30 minutes we're having a good time but i ended up with a new perfume and the girl was like i can't believe if I ever heard of this because she was like look at all that oil I learned a lot about perfumes always in there she's like look at all that oil in there and I mean it's a full ass thick ass layer of oil I just shook it up because you're supposed to um she's like she loves us she's given us an oil-based perfume she loves us I was like what do you mean she loves us like is oil good I don't

know it's like a filler is it bad she's like no a lot of perfumes are alcohol-based that's what they use to bind so when you spray it on it has that alcohol scent sometimes and sometimes the alcohol ones don't last as long because it wears off it's not gonna absorb into your skin it's just gonna wear off so this one's oil-based and i'm talking a lot of oil in here so when you spray it on it almost massages in like a like a lotion and then it lasts so much longer but i ended up buying the blooming fire by orabella also how gorgeous is this patch packaging and look at how much is in here you would think this is 250 perfumes are fucking expensive this is not sponsored i'm just impressed genuinely this was like i think like 85 or something after tax

maybe 100 bucks so cheap for how much perfume you're getting and how long it lasts but you guys uh this perfume it reminds me almost of the burberry goddess but it's a little bit warmer more ambery has some scents and notes of like wood and also like floral undertones oh my god it is so sexy so grown woman exactly what i needed and i'm so excited to wear it all fall i love a new scent i do i think it's a great way to commemorate an era to commemorate memories like you know when you're walking on the street and you get like a random whiff of a candle that burned in your house one time when you were eight years old and immediately you are three feet tall and 65 pounds and you're that eight-year-old standing in that old childhood home again like it is so visceral

i'm trying to keep that kind of momentum in my life by commemorate commemorating memories with scents and so i'm so excited to commemorate this fall with orabella i i'm genuinely very impressed by this that's why i'm sharing and you know girls i love putting you onto my girl tips oh also girl tips okay first of all love this perfume second of all girl tips i've been talking about the veet the hair removal cream i wanted to do it almost like two or three times before i gave you a full breakdown you guys i do not think i'm going to be using veet anymore i mean it did i mean it was pretty good for a while but i don't think it got as deep in maybe it wasn't leaving on as long as i should have but i feel like my hair grew back faster and also i don't think i'm supposed to put

it like on my pussy or my asshole but i did so sorry for the tmi and i broke out not like on my lips my lippies but on the cheeks i broke out into like a rash on my cheeks literally i was like i grabbed my boyfriend i rarely do this but i grabbed my boyfriend i was like come here i need you to look at this like is it as bad as i'm feeling because i just felt a bunch of bumps i think it's because i was wearing really tight jeans and i was rubbing up and down on it but he was like what the fuck happened like what did you sit on i was like i don't know i don't know i think it was the veet so the veet is out african nut sponge still in i love it my body is so smooth especially dry dry brush get in the shower and then african nut sponge oh my god

silky smooth but i think i'm gonna stick to shaving just because it's so much easier and i'm so used to doing it but uh you know sometimes we win some sometimes we lose some someone asked who is your favorite creator right now i don't know i don't talk a lot about creators that i'm enjoying and i should probably do that more often because i do engage i i watch a lot of content i'm not gonna lie i mean as a creator you also have to consume a little bit and right now honestly my favorite creator is ayana on tiktok the girl who wears like the meta glasses and walks around to go to like food spots she's just so authentically herself and also she makes me so hungry but you guys i was cracking up me my boyfriend sat down for like 10 minutes the other day watching this

tiktok i was like you have to watch this is so fucking funny but she went to like two taco stands and then compared them and then went back the next day and made them eat each other's tacos like in front of each other and rate them it i was dying she do not give a fuck she does not it is her world and we truly are living in it so if you need some laughs girl i love ayana oh someone asked hey sweetheart what do i do if it hurts when my boyfriend is going in with his mouth or fingers love you i know it's called munching but do not use teeth that's all i know anyways it's so a big thing about sex is communication a big thing about i don't know i don't know why it's not taught to us girl rule number one of sex communicate you cannot you we are not

subconscious animals we are not spiritually connected in that sort of way where we can communicate through thoughts so you need to use your words and speak up sometimes and this is no hate to you it's more hate on the system for not teaching us these things but like you know if something doesn't feel good it's okay to speak up now i don't think you should look down at your man while he's in between your legs and make eye contact with him and go that doesn't feel good because girl he's gonna get scared so i do think there are gentler ways to go about this where you know maybe you're more encouraging or maybe it's a little more sexy so he gets into it but i would just be like oh my gosh whoa slow down like oh my god like slow down a little bit like

i just want to sit back and enjoy it like go slow you can tell him to like you can literally instruct him and i think just like one time taking your time to have him slow down to instruct him you know oh my gosh circle your tongue here oh my gosh you know like maybe just don't use as many fingers or move slower like little tips and tricks there with reinforcement of like oh my god that feels good or moaning or things like that you do that one time he will eat your pussy the best he's ever eaten it for the rest of your life truly it takes one coaching session for him to be like okay i get it go crazy because like and i hate to say it not that i think he's like a problem but like we've all watched porn at some point in times we've all seen it and unfortunately in this day

and age people usually learn their sexual tips and tricks either from hookups or porn and in porn like when men are eating box it's like the most aggressive like like head shaking like insane i'm like oh my god she's sensitive let's not do that let's not do that so he thinks he's doing something right but in reality it's like we're not putting on a performance i need this to feel good so like slow it down slow it down you're in control maybe you don't want to be in control and that's okay in the future you won't be in control but for this one moment you need to slow it down talk him through it that feels good lick here touch here make him pull away for a second catch your breath go back to it you know and i think that will make everything better for you

but yeah sometimes you got to slow down communicate with your partner and if you're not having a good time tell them what to do tell them what to do everybody can learn everybody can learn sometimes just take some practice books you'd recommend favorite audiobooks if you need a good book please read braiding sweetgrass it was my book club book of the book on the patreon patreon.com slash smoke says shawty um for august and i think the book club book of the month for september i'm still deciding i don't know if i want to get spooky quite yet but i think i'm gonna read east of eden who knows maybe that'll be a good spring book next year if you need a good audiobook something to provide hope inspiration especially right now braiding

sweetgrass tens across the board so far i think it's been my favorite read of the entire year how to romanticize life more in my head you were like a fairy just having the most whimsical time i am i definitely am a fairy just having the most whimsical time but also like i'm human you know i'm as human as you are i'm doing the same things you are i'm cleaning my house the same way you are i'm going to the grocery store i'm plucking out that ingrown hair like it's not all beautiful rainbow sunshine amazing i'm still i'm paying bills you know i'm paying taxes i'm doing all the adult things that you're doing that maybe don't seem so glamorous but I'm trying to always find the glamour in it all whether it's like planning really delicious meals and physically

stepping into the grocery store to take my time to shop around you know what I this is something I'm having a big issue with right now which is like the ease of things I kind of went on a little bit of a binge at the end of the month where I was like okay DoorDash okay Amazon okay this okay that things that are quickly directly dropped at your front door you don't have to think about it whether it's grocery shopping you know grocery pickup things that are making your life easier we've been fed this idea that these make our lives easier you don't have to do it you know someone else will do it for you and then you have more time to create to do all these things that's just not in reality what's happening we just aren't living our lives what makes life so interesting

is those small interactions you have at the grocery store debating between this carrot or this carrot seeing a really good bunch of crispy apples and deciding to buy them on a whim picking out the best cut of meat that you've been looking at a really good loaf of bread taking your time walking down the aisles talking to the cashier literally it's like yeah i could have ordered my perfume online but i wouldn't have had that experience at the ulta kikiing with the girls going over all the scents sitting there smelling them for 30 minutes like that is what life is about this idea that life's supposed to be easy you know you're supposed to take the easy route is actually making our lives very mundane and boring because at the end of that little like

delivered to my front door binge i was like holy shit i haven't been outside in forever and i feel like i've been cooped up inside and that i haven't been living life it's because i haven't been going out sure grocery shopping not the most fun especially after a work day but sometimes you do have those small little interactions or able to pick up a chocolate at the checkout aisle that does bring a teeny tiny bit of whimsy to your life that makes it worth living that is what it's about it really is taking time to pause on your drive to observe a beautiful view if you see a tree to snap a picture of it if it looks gorgeous because the leaves are changing all of a sudden to watch that butterfly flutter by to pause to take time to observe to enjoy to

appreciate that is what life is about and sometimes it does get fast paced sometimes it does feel like oh my god i'm just waking up going to work going to bed waking up going to work going to what going to bed so what little things can you incorporate in your life that are beautiful sometimes it really is just like the scent of the pot of coffee i'm making in the morning it's like that is so visible but it makes me so happy just my whole house filling up with the scent of black coffee brewing in the morning the sound of it bubbling like it is the little things that i'm like oh this is a lot this is what life is about you know what appeals to our senses what appeals to our heart what appears to our mind and yeah sometimes time does blend together but you can always budget

out like five ten minutes you know I really haven't finished a lot of books um in my early adulthood I've been like picking them up reading a little bit putting them down but recently I've been finishing books because I've decided to budget out five minutes when I'm cooking dinner where it's like okay pour myself a glass of wine drink the wine prep the dinner while it's simmering on the stove I then go outside with my glass of wine I read for five minutes while I'm waiting for it to cook and then you know usually it lasts longer than five minutes because dinner's taking longer or whatever the book's really good all of a sudden I'm all done with it you know it really is just budgeting that little time budgeting those romanticization moments taking the time to go out

and do these things even if you feel like you don't have the time creating it anyways that is how you romanticize your life doing it for the sake of doing it you know oh girl code girl code alert my friends and family hate my boyfriend but we're trying to work things out thoughts get rid of the boyfriend immediately get rid of him they hate him for a reason you're blinded you are blind but you keep people around you who keep you in check your friends your family these are people who will speak up for you when you're too afraid to speak up for yourself these are people who see you for who you are the wonderful beautiful amazing person that you are and know what you deserve okay they are almost like um they're like the judge and jury for your life and this is why

i think keeping good friends around you or just like good family and when i say family i do mean chosen family as well just like a good group of people around you who have your best intentions who know you fully for who you are and want the best for you because when they speak up and they say this isn't right you need to listen to them you do you really need to listen to them because they're saying it for a reason these people especially if you keep good people around you these aren't people who are plotting on your downfall you know who are sending you evil eye who are trying to make your life worse no they want your life better they see you for who you are and know what you deserve and they know what you need and if they are brave enough to say

this isn't it he's not the one he's not good to you he's mean to you he's making your life worse he's just not the person for you you need to listen to that you do they're saying it for a reason and i think in relationships to another relationship pet peeve not in like just any sort of interpersonal relationship we talked about this in the patreon episode if you ever want to hear more from me we do a patreon honestly like almost two hour long episode every week on thursdays where i answer every single one of your questions and we talked about how i think people nowadays are afraid of conflict we're afraid of like arguing with each other or you know working through problems together we try and avoid conflict so much that sometimes we just like

avoid people in general when in reality I think conflict can make relationships stronger and this is one of this like bonding conflict and friendships where it's like they don't like your boyfriend they'll tell you it and it's not because they don't want you to be happy or you know they're afraid of you not liking them or whatever it's like they know that conflict is a part of relationships and yeah you're not gonna like hearing that they don't like your boyfriend but sometimes things need to be said sometimes hard conversations need to be had and in turn that is dedication to the other person you know I'm willing to have this hard conversation with you because I love you I'm willing to work through this problem because I love you I'm willing to say

the hard thing because i love you i mean that's not an excuse to be mean like i had a boyfriend who was like i say everything on my mind because you know i just shouldn't ever lie to you it's okay well don't look at me in the face and say i'm ugly and fat like that's crazy crazy crazy crazy that's not the conflict i'm talking about that's bad that's evil that's horrible it's awful i'm talking conflict where like this situation where it's like i love you and i know you deserve better and i know you love this person but i need to tell you straight up to your face that it's not the right person for you that is the kind of conflict that you will find in healthy real relationships and friendships those are the friendships and relationships that you need to hold on to and

listen to because they are brave enough to stand up for you period so i think you need to leave the boyfriend i do i think you need to leave him my outfit is fully giving little ho on the prairie it really is you guys i am serving the sluttiest girl at the farm that's the energy this dress is giving i do love it though i just it was sounded easiest to throw a dress on today how to make an apartment feel like home without spending a bunch of money two tips two big tips number one art art is very underrated i love art i love just like random pieces of art as you can see oh not pointing the right direction like random frames here random books random pictures anything like that art is big you can create the art you can get like cheap old pictures and just paint over them

and create them i have like a five foot by four foot canvas in my living room that was an old family photo of my family's my mom's like i know you probably want this canvas but like we took new family photos or whatever so i painted over it white and then i painted over it fuchsia pink and it's just like a great big piece of abstract art in my um living room i've been looking at my bedroom for a while and i'm like it's missing something it's missing something art that's what it's missing it feels empty it feels quiet i love art i love any piece of art and the best place to get art as thrift stores any place you want to go that you know has art for sale for your house like i'm thinking like marshalls or hobby lobby or things like that even target the art's gonna

be shitty and it's gonna be expensive it's not worth it at all go to the thrift store go to the thrift store buy that random picture oh you hate the picture but you love the frame cool you can paint over the picture you can print off a poster at office max or whatever for like five bucks throw that inside of the frame but the thrift store is where you're probably going to get most of your favorite things for your house for cheap that in facebook marketplace facebook marketplace is a different story because it is expensive but you have to haggle you have to i know that's listed for two thousand dollars but girl i got 20 what are we gonna let's haggle a little bit you know let's barter maybe I'll bake you a sour goat sourdough loaf of bread for a

hundred dollars off like I don't know trade and barter trade and barter always but personally I do think especially for just like making a house feel homey which is through small things you know especially art knickknacks plants the thrift store is the place to be plants are one thing get a pothos it'll give you a million plants you buy one pothos you have a thousand a hundred percent buy the pots at the thrift store you know hit the thrift store every once in a while get a couple pots plant them there get some artwork get some frames get some knickknacks get some like vintage ashtrays i'm like looking at what i have around me oh we thrifted like a gundam figurine and put it together that's up i have like some quilted things i have framed and up candles are

a great way i have like little ceramic angels and vases playboy magazines a lot of it is also like things you can pick up and touch and use like playboy magazines old books big coffee table books i love a big coffee table book especially for just like flipping through games just little things you know what i mean but truly honestly the best way to build that in your house for cheap is through the thrift store i know people love facebook marketplace but my god the price is on there outrageous outrageous oh people have asked me where i got this chair from though and this is from facebook marketplace i know they probably found it on at like thrift store and then upped the price but this chair i think she listed it for 120 and i paid 80 i paid 80 and i negotiated

that they'd come drop it off for me and i think she sent her husband and her husband dropped it off in a truck and it was like me and my friend here so we were like trying to get it inside and he was like girls put that down like i'm carrying it upstairs for you so for 80 dollars it dropped off and carried up three flights of stairs for me period you gotta negotiate girls especially if you're gonna get a deal on facebook marketplace but yeah go to the thrift store look at what calls to you and incorporate it oh someone asked how did you change your mindset to start living a life of your dreams this is an interesting one because i think sometimes the answer is so easy it's just hard to grasp you know or it's hard to maybe take that first step where it truly is just like

you can't hold yourself back you cannot hold yourself back you really can't i mean you need to build yourself up in a way where it's like i have a good head on my shoulders i trust myself I believe in myself. I know who I am, but I want to get out there and live life. So I need to start creating opportunities for myself. I need to stop saying no to myself. I need to start saying yes to myself. Oh, you want to, it can be so simple. Oh, you want to be the girl who drinks black coffee in the morning? Okay. Start making black coffee. Oh, you want to be the girl who dresses this way? Okay. Start trying it. If you don't like something, that's how you learn who you are. So who cares if you don't like it go try oh you want to be the girl who rides horses go take horseback

riding lessons what do you have to lose oh you want to be the girl who travels to this place go travel to that place oh you want to be the girl who goes on nine mile hikes go start practicing moving around walking go on that hike plan that trip sure sometimes you know things get in the way adult things money jobs all that jazz but there are always workarounds okay sometimes it's like oh i want to be the girl who goes to italy guess what maybe you can't go to italy next week but maybe you can plan a year in advance oh i have one week of time off use that for vacation time plan ahead book that airline ahead of time so then you're able to save money book that hotel ahead of time so you're able to save money slowly pay it off slowly build up your savings account

there are workarounds where you're able to plan ahead and I knew this growing up because my parents did so did we have the most extravagant life as children no we did not we never went out to eat growing up we never went out to eat oh it's your birthday congratulations what do you want mom to cook you like that is what we did oh birthday cake it's homemade at home because it's cheaper to buy a box cake than it is to buy a real cake oh you know you want to throw a birthday party with your friends cool it's a sleepover you know like we did not have extravagant childhoods but we did always have time and money for sports for hobbies for activities we always went on like a family trip in the summer and sometimes it takes like you know cutting corners or like saving money

here not going out to eat all the time you know like really focusing on what drives us what makes as passionate having money for those art lessons having money for that soccer practice so then you're able to live your life in accordance for what you want to do growing up like that really taught me that it's takes self-discipline and understanding in yourself to create those opportunities for yourself to create those hobbies or those travels but it is always so worth it because some of my favorite memories growing up aren't going out to eat so my favorite memories are you know those home-cooked meals that i had as a kid always eating fettuccine for my birthday being able to go to soccer practice being able to play piano being able to go to yellowstone with

my family one summer you know like it really is the patience and understanding that you put in yourself that will eventually pay off and yeah i'm an influencer or whatever but i don't have daddy's credit card i can't be blasting around on jets and planes constantly but i will always look for the next opportunity to live forever I will always be searching for that I will always be creating new ideas for myself new hobbies new activities because I know that's what makes life so interesting and what drives that passion for life and yeah I'm not gonna be able to travel every single fucking week like I said but I will have that big trip that I'm looking forward to like Japan's coming up for me that was a this is a big one this is the first time I've traveled

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. Elevate your savings with the Scotia High Interest Savings Account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply. Visit scotiabank.com slash H-I-S-A to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. traveled internationally that's not just like mexico when did i start planning japan in january yeah like a long time ago but i planned ahead i pinched pennies i saved money here i saved money

there i bought tickets early so we didn't spend so much fucking money on plane tickets because my god are they expensive you know we didn't pick the most grand hotel in the world it's gonna be a fairly cheap hotel but it's in a good area and we're going to be able to get around anyways and the hotel in my opinion if i'm not going for a relaxing vacation doesn't matter because i'm going to be outside 24 7 anyways does it have a toilet and a bed i'm happy and i really think the only mindset change i had to start doing these things was not telling myself no oh you want to do that let's do it girl oh you want to plan that trip let's plan it oh you want to go to this place let's fucking go oh you want to take this class fuck it let's figure it out stop eating out stop

doing this stop impulse purchasing online if you want to spend so much money on a trip save it up but i stopped telling myself no no you can't do that no you can't be that girl no you'll never be able to do that because if you tell yourself that guess what she's so right you won't be able to do those things at all but if you tell yourself yes delusionally so sometimes you know you be surprised what you can create for yourself you'd be surprised what you're able to accomplish in this lifetime so yes yes to you yes to everything yes to that dream life it'll be yours i promise anyways with that being said i hope this was the dose of inspiration you all needed in your life next episode's gonna be a little bit silly i'm not gonna lie um i'm filming early so the

questionnaire keep in mind the questionnaire for the podcast is going up early it is going up this friday because i'm going out of town for to see my family in omaha i'm going to go hang out with my niece and nephew oh my god they're getting so big they're speaking full sentences kids growing up is crazy because i like i'll see them and then a month goes by and then they're literally speaking full sentences at me and i'm like when the fuck did you learn how to speak this is crazy anyways love them endlessly but we're gonna be spending the weekend up there and i usually film on mondays which we'll be traveling on so i'm filming early on saturday and i'm actually filming a saturday night so it's going to be a wine episode i'm getting drunk on the podcast yes yes yes for

the first time ever so submit your craziest questions your craziest things things that you've been like i want to ask her but i'm too afraid to ask like oh my god is this taboo is this wild girl i'm gonna be white wine drunk we can talk about anything i'm not even fucking kidding you want to know the color of my asshole i will tell you like genuinely but that being said questionnaire will go up early so follow me on instagram if you want to submit there at hannah marlene some of you guys are so cute you're like i created an instagram just to submit this question that is very sweet but also if you want to email me or if you're listening on spotify or youtube you can always comment it in the comments if you feel you know comfortable there it'll get to me

one way or another don't even worry but yes that's going up early if you want to see what i'm up to many recipe cooking videos things coming up like that at hannah marlene extra episode every single week on the patreon patreon.com slash smokes that shawty we have so much fun over there especially with it being the beginning of a new month oh september we have a tarot reading coming out we have a new book club book of the month i have a fall mood board coming out and also how i make mood boards i'm going to be uploading more vlogs things like that so come join we have so much fun seriously i love my patreon girlies they are who keep this podcast running so everybody say thank you patreon girlies because wow love you endlessly and yeah with that being said stay sane stay sexy

and i'll see you all so soon two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.