Smoke Sesh - facing problems, taking an L, & becoming YOU

Episode Date: July 28, 2026

hello hotties and welcome back to smoke sesh! hope you survived this mercury retrograde, we have a lot to chat about whats coming up like what I've been up to, grounding myself, Saturn retrograde, staying sane, taking care of yourself, astrology, astrology recourses, current transits, being punished by the universe, when it rains it pours, learning lessons, facing your problems, suffering or surviving, making decisions, losing people, choosing yourself, reconciliation, nighttime anxiety, slowing down, wind down routine, evening anxiety routine, lustful men, untrustworthiness, leaving a bad situation, relationship baggage, submissiveness, impulsive decisions, thinking it through, taking a leap, taking the L, coincidences, being on the right path, having deja vu, becoming you, tips for finding yourself, 20's tips and tricks, traveling, moving, single, hobbies, confidence, knowing yourself, instagram vs reality, cheaters, trustworthiness, showing up for friends, showing up for your partner and much much much more!watch the vlogs on YouTube at hannahmarlene444join the patreon! new episodes (and more) at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtysubmit your questions and call ins every week on instagram.com/hannahmarlene

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. hello hello hello hotties and welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and i i'm losing it a little bit i'm i'm gonna be 100 honest with you guys i'm kind of losing my mind just a little bit um so I'm gonna use this podcast today how I think probably

a lot of you guys use this podcast sure you know self-help category of it all I'm sure some of you guys come here to get like real honest advice but also like do some of you guys come here just to kind of like dissociate and have a key with the girls you know ignore your problems a little bit and just like have a little laugh because that's how i'm gonna be using it today very much so escapism very much so let's dissociate for a little bit until we get back into life because whoo the universe has been throwing me some curveballs lately and ones that like loki i've been expecting but it's like damn you really do make your own bed damn you really do got to learn your own life lessons damn you really do got to make your own decisions in life so yeah safe to

say that saturn retrograde is hitting me hard we'll get into that in a second but honestly outside of that i've had a fairly good week um it's been busy it's been hot here my god literally there's gonna be a high of i think they said upwards of 120 degrees huh hello oh and global warming's not real by the way what the fuck like it is so insanely hot outside and the thing about the midwest which if you live in the midwest i'm sure you already know this but the humidity gets out of control um in like southern states it gets hot but it's a dry heat with the humidity in the air it's like you can't breathe it makes you sweat 10 times as more because there's so much water in the air um it also like dehydrates plants faster because it's pulling more water out of

them it's insane and there's something called this is crazy i'm gonna give you a little midwest tea here there's something called corn sweat that happens it's when the corn in the fields which we grow mainly corn and soybeans out here in kansas and missouri when it reaches its peak like growth cycle where it's a full-size corn plant hello girl i can't tell you the progestion rate of corn i'm so sorry um but once it gets to its like full-size full growth where the kernels are fully forming um it starts to release naturally this sweat and moisture and it makes the humidity level in the air rise so much that it can raise the temperature 10 to 15 degrees. So when I say 120 degrees, 125, 115, whatever, that extra 10, 15, 20 is simply because

of the corn sweating. Yeah, what the fuck? Are you kidding me? So baby, shades drawn. I'm going to be a vampire today I'm not going outside I actually went outside yesterday me and a friend oh so fun we went peach picking we got to go frolic in the fields in the hills of Missouri we went to this local orchard which if you're in the Kansas City area I actually love them down I go usually twice a year this is my first time this year but I'm hoping to get back for apple season in the fall it's called Weston Orchard Weston is this cute little tiny farm town up in northern of Missouri and they have this place called Western Orchard which they grow different fruits year-round so we went frolicking through the peach trees we were climbing trees I don't remember the

last time I've climbed a tree we were smacking them down off the tree it was so fun and I got a ton of really good peaches which are already ripe I need to go figure out what I'm baking and doing with them ASAP that's probably gonna be my afternoon activity um we had some little strawberry slushes we went to a local like goat farm creamery we shared a charcuterie board you guys it was a beautiful sunday and although we were out at like what 11 a.m girl it was so hot i was like ripping paper towels off and shoving them into my bra because i was just dripping sweat dripping sweat everywhere i also realize i i love the charm of a midwestern city there's something about the charm of a midwestern city that i think a lot of people from overseas realized when they came and

visited kansas city for the world cup which is baby we will hold you hostage and we will just chat and yap and yap and chat and we are so welcoming and we are so inviting and we will talk your ear off and we're just here for a good time and like making connections and just like living and loving and there was this lady working at the at the barn and doing all the admin work at the farm and she was just chit-chatting about the local tea oh my god this guy hit my car at this party and then you know he's like we'll pay for it and then didn't and this was in the 80s like i was so funny i just love the way that we interact with each other and it's genuinely so charming because my ass will sit there and listen to the full story like baby tell me more what else

is going on what is the other tea going on it's so funny and i feel like it's something you miss maybe in more eastern cities where people are a little bit more like self-focused and that's kind of like in a safety thing and also just like in a numbers thing there's so many people it's just like let me just focus on myself let me not smile at every stranger that passes me by or in the western cities where it's kind of the same but opposite you know what i mean it's more so like dissociative if anything um and so yeah that was really nice very grounding it was a very grounding sunday which i needed i also spent a lot of time out with the horses this week before it got so hot which was so so nice I learned how to lunge and do some liberty work with Xena my trainer does

liberty training with horses and dogs she mainly trains dogs but she has horses on the side make a little extra moolah and so she taught me how to lunge which is essentially just like me and this horse alone in a round pen and getting her to listen to just my body language and energy which is genuinely so fucking cool like what do you mean i can like telepathically tell this horse what to do and also with my shoulder movements how to move and i can get her to trot to canter to listen to me and to be like happy to listen to me it felt like so so confidence boosting like damn i really did that it was so nice and then she was like i have a trail ride later if you want to just like go get coffee or something and then you can come and do the trail ride with me so i spent

like nine hours out at the barn that day i got there for feeding we had our lesson and then me and her went and got coffee at this cute little place called cowboy coffee um chit chatted for a little bit and then went back and i did an hour long trail riding session it was just a lot of like outdoor country activities for hannah which was very much so like feet in the dirt toes planted down which i needed because i feel like recently i've been a little air heady and not in like a negative way more so in a i'm trying to ignore what's in front of me kind of way i'm trying to ignore the situations i put myself in and hope it just figures itself out which is like a major major issue i've had all of my life um this is something that i've constantly dealt with

and i don't know maybe my parents just didn't teach me a lot of problem solving when i was a kid or maybe i just felt like the need to not disappoint like i never want to disappoint people i never wanted to disappoint my parents when i was younger and so i have a hard time making hard decisions like dropping out of school it was like i knew i needed to do i knew i needed to do i knew i needed to do it but it was just like eating me alive eating me alive and then finally i just broke down one day i was like i'm done i can't do anymore i'm done or like think breakups like i it's eating me alive it's eating me alive it's eating me alive oh my god i just can't do anymore like randomly on a fucking tuesday it's done you know and so i'm just like finding myself

in another position where it's like bitch are you gonna choose the life you want to live or are you gonna sit here and think about it you know it's gonna take a hard decision to choose yourself choosing yourself is always a hard decision um especially when you're like a people pleaser you don't like to disappoint or you don't you know want to ruffle feathers or just simply put change the situation you're in um choosing yourself can feel like self-abandonment but once you make it through the hard part of just like jumping off the high dive of that decision you really are able to kind of look back and realize this was the right one I I did the hard thing choosing myself and it was so worth it is worth it every single time and I think I'm gonna have to just kind of

jump off the high dive again this time around and realize it is worth it so yeah mama was going through this there was no vlog this week I do greatly apologize thank you guys so much for also being patient um I feel like we have such an amazing community here where it's like if I take a week off which I don't from the podcast because the podcast is my own personal mental health podcast it's like if I miss a week actually someone call the police to do a wellness check on me um I'm at the point nowadays where it's like I have to do this for my own sanity I'm not even kidding the vlogs it's like that's kind of just like a fun little kiki um but I'm so sorry I missed this week I will be back this week don't worry if you have any vlog recommendations or

things you want to see from me things you're curious about let me know down below I am always taking recommendations but I'm just trying to kind of get back into the routine of things settle my nervous system ground myself and usher myself into this new era of life that I have been talking about for a long time it's like bitch it's gonna start when you choose for it to start but it's not gonna start on its own t t but anyways if I really look back on the week fantastic my own self-inflicted suffering not great but once again self-inflicted so I do have a choice in the matter and i fear i can't choose it anymore so with that being said let's ignore our problems together just kidding just kidding um but let's get into your questions let's waste no more time

because you guys have a lot on your minds oh i guess we can talk saturn retrograde so mercury retrograde just ended um mercury retrograde was in the sign of cancer it mercury also is the planet of communication think technology think travel think the way we speak and talk to each other i personally was not heavily affected by mercury retrograde it actually felt like the lead-up to what was going to happen um which was saturn retrograde mercury retrograde was pretty chill for me if you had a bad mercury retrograde you know it happens to the best of us i'm so sorry at least we're out of it congratulations you made it but some themes you might have seen popping up is just like heightened emotions random shit going wrong feeling like you can't catch a break

miscommunication maybe some breakups maybe some confusing love energy things like that I don't know if you guys tap into any astrologers I feel like there's been a astrology kind of back and forth recently where some astrologers are like this is about karma this is about people getting what they deserve and I just don't see it that way I don't believe Saturn interacts that way Saturn is the planet of discipline structure and karma so when she's retrograding she's kind of making us um rethink over all of these themes okay like kind of go back in the files and ask ourselves like to take accountability to really kind of look inward to focus on these um areas in our life where maybe we haven't had enough discipline or we haven't had enough structure

or maybe karma has been coming after us or maybe we've been seeking karma but we don't need to inflict it on our own the thing with karma i do believe in karma someone asked me that do i believe in karma and the thing is i do but also i believe karma enacts itself in its own ways we have no control over it and i think trying to take karma into your own hands is a big fat massive waste of time because when you inflict pain when you inflict suffering into someone else you in turn will probably receive that back energy is all an exchange so if you are you think someone's deserving of karma you think someone's deserving of whatever the fuck they got coming for them don't worry it'll all work itself out that's not what you need to be thinking about during this

time what you need to be thinking about what saturn and retrograde is making us reflect on is have we taken the time to organize our life to structure our life in the way that we want to is the foundation we laid something that makes us feel comfortable something that makes us feel safe themes that came up in this cancer mercury retrograde which was like do i feel safe at home whether home is in my head home is physically home is in my space whatever it is home is in my love life home is in my family life do i feel safe do i feel cared do i feel nurtured for these themes also translate over to saturn retrograde which is like baby you made your own bed you're suffering but maybe you kind of chose that suffering you hate the situation but did you put yourself in

the situation are you trying to take yourself out of the situation are you making real changes towards betterment so there might be a lot of internal conflict going on also alternatively if you are like actually no i love where i'm at i love where i'm at i love what i'm doing i love where i am i love my love life i love my family life i love my situation i love my home this might be a time of like real honest peace and clarity and like good times not all retrogrades are going to affect everybody of course they all affect everybody differently based on where saturn is in your chart the house and the sign you can look at that whenever you look it up if you're also curious where to look up your sign your star chart i personally don't use any of the apps i

don't know i'm not a huge fan of the apps i use astro.cafeastrology.com and that will give you a free natal chart report which will give you all the information on your natal chart they also have transit chart calculators so if you really are curious what you're going through you can put in the date and time of when you're born as well as the current day of whatever you want to look up and it'll tell you how your planets are transiting how they might affect you let me read you and this is not sponsored but let me read you maybe what i'm going through because i haven't looked it up yet but i'm like maybe i feel it i feel it the transit chart calculator is on horoscopes.astro-seek.com i'm also going to go ahead and make a astrology post in the patreon um with my reference links

so if you are curious if you do want the links join you'll be able to find them there so yeah i currently am going through a long-term saturn transit in the 12th house transit saturn in this house forces you to face your deep-rooted fears and blocks and marks the end of a cycle and may initially bring disillusionment and dissatisfaction to master successfully you must submerge deep in your psyche and face your inner demons this can mean removing things and people to which you are attached to and releasing irrational fears it is essential for your future development and personal growth in addition there will be a great sense of relief and you will be mentally prepared for saturn to transit through the first house and start a new cycle if you are unable to cope with

this process yourself consider attending therapy you know what t to escape this transformation would not be wise and you could face the consequences your fears will get worse and unhealthy habits may deepen and become even more destructive oop anyways yeah so if you want a little taste of what i'm going through or if you're curious to see you know how this might affect you those are kind of the resources i use for my own astrology but that's kind of what you can mentally prepare for have you taken adequate steps to making sure you are living the life you want to live if not you are going to be plagued by the desire to do so and also the realization that maybe you've made the wrong choice if you've made the right choice don't worry shit will go smooth

for you but it's so funny I feel like I have such a hold on my like emotional stability that the cancer retrograde didn't really affect me too much cancer mercury retrograde didn't affect me too much because it's like i'm gemini i'm ruled by mercury like i i can handle a mercury retrograde no problem but the saturn retrograde i was like oh this is a little different this is hitting me a little different a little wildly so baby just hold on just hold on do the best you can i love you let's smoke a bowl oh also you guys canna style you guys know i did the fairy bong collab with canna style well they released new fairy bongs not in collaboration with me but i love canna style so much i will always ride for them i love them down they make the best pieces most

gorgeous pieces the most functional pieces and i'm so glad to have collabed with them in the past they did reach out to me they're like hey we love the fairy bong so much we want to make our own little version so they made a new one with new wings in a new color way but they got my permission first and also so sweet they didn't have to do me but they also do this for me but they paid me some money too to be like thank you for your permission bitch they didn't even have to ask for my permission or pay me so please if you want a fairy bong go support them no it's not in collaboration but truly a fairy bong is like the most magical thing ever to smoke out of so if you're curious in getting one that's where you can find them i think they just dropped them last week

but yes not in collaboration in permission with and in love with for sure though so with that being said let me rip this shit and like let's have a little laugh and get into your questions Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.

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okay all right what to do when it feels like the universe is punishing you hmm you know what can i say something maybe the universe isn't punishing you maybe the universe is wanting you to open up your fucking eyes i find when i'm specifically targeted by the universe whether it's like shit going wrong or like random little miscommunications or i feel like you can't catch a break or it's like damn why am I being targeted sometimes it's the universe being like wake the fuck up wake up I've given you good things to wake up you've just taken them and eaten them and moved on with your life maybe it's time for me to give you some bad things okay maybe it's time for me to give you some bad things to make you open your eyes to make you look at

your situation for to make you go do I want to do this do I want to be here is this good for me is this healthy for me you know maybe we need to switch some things up maybe we need to like really just open our fucking third eye to the situation we're in okay sometimes it takes bad things happening for that to really really occur in your life let me give you an example an exact example of how the universe does this okay my last breakup are you ready my last breakup i it was like bitch it should have been done it should have been done and it's just i'm impossible of breaking up with people so I just like sit and suffer but my last breakup it was like me going over to his house at 3 a.m after getting off art school after doing all of this like insane artwork

that I've been doing building sculptures like in the studio late at night and then he's like come over blah blah blah and it's like of course I want to appease him so I'm driving 30-45 minutes to his house but also I'm like at an age where my parents are like hey not super comfortable with you staying there I think I was like what 19 you know not super comfortable with you staying there if it's like the safest option if you're like fucked up yes do this do so but if it's just like another night just come home and so I knew that in the back of my head and I don't know we had gone to a big massive bullshit fight per usual and it was like I'm not staying here this sucks I'm going home I have class at 8 a.m. and you guys have heard the story before but I'm driving

home 3 30 in the morning and i'm driving around in the highways in missouri they just get really desolate and so there's not always lights on the highways um and it was like a dark patch of the highway around a really sharp corner and there was a police car parked um in a lane no lights on yep hit the back of the police car going 75 miles an hour there were it was because a cattle truck had fallen over on the highway above us yes yes you've heard the story cows falling out of the guy literally raining cows hit a police car I'm awoken to being like I'm like slumped over in my car seat because I hit the steering wheel so hard from going 75 miles an hour into a parked vehicle into a brick wall practically okay he's unbuckling me he's pulling me out of the car he's shining a

light in my face like are you okay are you alive he literally I awaken he's like oh my god you should not be alive right now that is the sentence i woke up to you should not be alive right now huh i'm standing up they call an ambulance for me the ambulance is like checking me over i like fucked up my ankle real bad fucked up my face real bad broke my nose practically like sprained my ankle shout out to doc martens they're the only reason why i didn't break the fuck out of my ankles um they because they have enough leather on the ankles that it held my ankle in place crazy crazy and they're like we need to take you to the hospital i'm like no i'm good like the the adrenaline was so crazy i was like nah babe i'm fine i should have gone to the

hospital um keep in mind i was like 15 minutes away from my my ex's house and i was calling i was like hey can you come pick me up like i'm on the highway i i don't know like what the fuck's going on but all i know is i should be dead question mark and he is upset that he is having to come pick me up even though there was just a mass crap a massive horrible crash he's like i don't want to i can't even get over there they have the whole highway shut off how the fuck am i gonna to the point where i was like you know what motherfucker i'm just we're just you can stay home okay who cares if your girlfriend's dead you can stay home i'm gonna ride home with the police officer yes the police officer not the one i hit he was pissed i totaled

that fucking car different police officer like the police chief whatever he ends up driving me home 45 minutes home and i'm like stumbling on the car like thank you sir thanks yeah i get i get home i go to class and i show up to class and my professor's like damn i had a hard time getting here this morning because there was like a huge accident last night that was just like completely shut down the whole highway up until like 8 a.m this morning and I was like oh yeah I was there I was a part of that yeah and then it just like ramped into me being so debilitatingly like in pain like swollen black broken ankle on crutches no car having to drive my grandpa's car face fucked up because I smashed it into a steering wheel you know I'm at like a funeral or something

with my ex it's like I'm coming out of consciousness this is past memory I'm coming out of I'm at a funeral with my ex and his family and his dad's like making fun of me for the situation I was in like can you believe that happened and it's like I'm still dizzy a week later from how hard my head hit the steering wheel and I remember looking around and I was like oh my god everything's going wrong i'm so out of place right now i actually hate this situation so much and it took the universe putting me in such a shitty fucking position for me to open my eyes and go damn i'm actually choosing to be here right now and i think i need to get the fuck up out of here i think i need to i think i need to run as fast as my little broken ankle can carry

me I think I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go I gotta go did I leave right then no but I did I pretty sure I left like that week we had like some explosive fight that I was just like it's over it's over it's over it's over I can't do this anymore I'm literally going clinically insane it's over and it did take the universe just shoving my fucking head into the dirt about a million times to be like do you want to learn this lesson the easy way or do you want to learn this lesson the hard way because the thing is you don't have to learn lessons the hard way some people think and maybe this is a me problem maybe i am some people some people think like you must suffer to learn but in fact if you receive the message the first time it comes you can learn

without needing to suffer you don't have to keep receiving the message keep knowing what you're needing to do keep like suffering and forcing suffering on you or like just like dwelling you can just go hmm actually i know what i need to do and i'm going to take the steps accordingly so then i don't suffer from the universe so the universe doesn't make me suffer in order to learn okay because it will it will you're going to wake up one way or another and it's either going to be on your own accord the first time you have that fight or in a totaled car getting unbuckled by a police officer going uh you should be dead right now it's like damn i did not have to put myself here there did not have to put myself there and so yeah sometimes when you face like you're like

i'm not god's strongest soldier sometimes when you're facing like a bunch of issues it really is just the universe going like pause shit's bad reflect on where you are ask yourself what you need to do and move forward accordingly do not keep ignoring the problems in fact it will put you in a place that will make it so you cannot keep ignoring your problems eventually you're gonna have to face them and that's why they say when it rains it pours sometimes that first raindrop you don't learn to go inside until it is storming and hailing and the sirens are going off and you're like maybe maybe i should get into the basement you know what i mean so always there's a lesson in everything truly truly there's a lesson in everything but it is just like when do you want

to learn your lesson also sometimes just bad shit happens but it is a great time to be like you know what let's take care of ourselves let's regroup let's refocus let's you know ground ourselves a little bit in the situation ask ourselves what we can do for ourselves to make this better and then move forward accordingly okay you can't just continue suffering unfortunately when you do face problems that is when you have to solve them yes i'm convinced uh you know math math bitch do you know math girl yes i know math um i'm convinced like in school the reason they make you do so much like bullshit math equations is for you to learn how to problem solve like you're like how does this address to the real world trying to figure out how many apples are in this

bale if you remove this square foot of it's like why the fuck am i going to be counting apples it's like no it's not about counting apples it's about if you are able to see a very complex problem and do your best to try and solve it or are you going to give up on the equation you know that's really what i'm convinced math is about because maybe me and math i was not good at math in school me and art yes that was the best that was the best language arts yes science I could finesse until I got to the math but me and math me and all my math teachers had beef for literally no reason it was like actually a problem and it was because I'm just I'm bad at seeing through problems I really am I see a problem and I'm very quick to be like I don't want to deal with that I give up

I'm not learning it um and if you are in math if you are in an algebra class if you are in a calculus class whatever it may be and you want to rip your hair out just know it's kind of meant for you to get frustrated but the real lesson is in you learning how to solve it and it will translate to your adulthood i promise you will if you see out those math equations in high school and you figure it out and you solve it you will have an easier time solving real life problems as they approach you without needing to reach peak suffering in order to desire betterness for yourself. Yeah. Anyways, the weeds are really hitting. Okay. Hey, Dave. Okay. I'm kind of nervous. I'm going to take a poker. Okay. So basically to give you context, I was like

really close friends with this girl starting freshman year of college and i've i'm senior now and we like had this like really big blowout like last fall but up until then she like we were like two peas in the motherfucking pod like best friends we did everything together we got along really well we all like like the same shit we were in the same friend group um but she did me really fucking dirty um and i'd be sitting here for years explaining to you all the ways that she did me dirty but long story short she did me really fucking dirty but it's been like it's been some time now and i like still find myself like missing her um even though i don't want to so okay this is really long but um basically i'm kind of like how do i stop missing her even though

she did me dirty like there's definitely no chance of us like being friends ever again and i don't like i know in my heart of hearts i don't want to be friends again but i do miss her like a lot so how do i not do that oh i'm so sorry you're going through this it's so hard um um i okay so i've been dirty but i've been done dirty by friends in the past and of course you're gonna miss them you're gonna miss what you had you're gonna miss that connection you're gonna miss like your friend that's so normal even in relationships when you break up you're gonna miss the good times but sometimes those bad times or bad time outweighs the good times and you really you have to realize like you know what I have to protect my peace I have to do what's best for me

I have to focus on me because I this is an untrustworthy person in my life um and remind yourself a little bit of like why you left in the first place you know and it's normal to miss them I think whenever you have like moments of I miss this person I miss this thing I miss this place I miss this time you must give appreciation and I know that seems opposite of what you probably want to do because you're pissed off about what she did to you but you must go you know what we had a good time together and I'm thankful for the positive times I'm thankful for that laugh we shared I'm thankful for that moment we shared we had a fabulous time together while we could but I understand where I am now you know I think a little appreciation goes a long way because

sometimes people are in our life for seasons and you must appreciate that season as it comes and let go when you need to let go and obviously you've done so and I'm proud of you for knowing what you deserve and that you deserve better but it's okay to also go like you don't have to blow everything up you know you don't have to hate her completely it's okay to go you know what we did have some fabulous times together and i am appreciative of the good times we did share because they were honestly really so good it's okay to also tell yourself that while simultaneously going but i know i don't deserve to be treated this way and i know she fucked up and i just i need time i need space now on the flip side i know you guys can't reconcile but i do believe

in reconciliation the older i get the less scorched earth i am i think when you probably listen to this podcast back oh back back a long time ago it'd be like cut them off and forget they ever fucking existed never reach back out never have them around you ever again and like yeah sure maybe during that time definitely it's what you need to do to protect yourself but i do believe in reconciliation i do believe that you know sometimes people need time away to grow to change to then come back together i think that there's just so much truth in it but you must put yourself first number one first priority i met this like earth angel the other week i think i told you guys about her i don't know we were just having a key it was late at night at the

restaurant and she was friends with the owner and she was just like I love running into bad ass older women and she wasn't even older when I say older you probably think like 60 70 when I say older sometimes I just mean older than me currently like that could be 30 that could be 40 she was probably like 40 42 38 42 somewhere in that range um never gonna ask anybody their age duh but she was just like drunk as fuck giving like the most heartfelt conversation ever to me that i like didn't even ask for but i was like i'm gonna sit my happy ass down and listen i'm gonna open my ears and listen and she was like we got into talking about horses and she's talking about being young and you know just like she should have followed her intuition more just like should have

ran away and you know lived her best horse life and worked on a ranch she was putting me in touch with a ranch owner she was like you should just go do it you should live your life you're young get out there before you settle down like just like don't worry about anything don't worry about a boyfriend don't worry about friends just like go and live your most positive life ever and she was like you know what if you pick yourself everything will always happen for the right reason she's like even in our relationship she pointed to her husband she's like baby i broke up with him she's like i broke up with him we spent 10 years apart he got engaged to another girl i got engaged i said no to the engagement we fell apart like we were in multiple relationships

in the in-between and still we ended up coming back together you know all everything happens for a reason but at the end of the day if you want things to go correctly the way that you want it to go no matter how it plays out you must choose yourself you must choose yourself you must always uplift yourself and your choices and it was like okay i'm gonna go roll some silverware now like damn bitch really preaching to the choir here like definitely heard um but like it's true you know but I think putting yourself first number one is the best way to set yourself up for success and if you guys are able to reconcile in the future cool fabulous amazing that's not something you should be prioritizing right now right now it's kind of just like appreciation for what it

was but understanding for what it is now and that will give you a full well-rounded idea of just you know it'll help you settle in your emotions instead of feeling that bipolar and probably not the best way to use that word but like back and forth back and forth back and forth of like but it was good but it was bad but it was good but it was bad it's like find yourself in the middle where it's like both can be true at the same time but what's most important right now is to think about what you need in your life and to go forward with that so yeah i love you i'm sorry friendship breakups are so hard breakups are hard breakups in any sort of relationship are very difficult and hard, but I'm proud of you for doing what needs to be done. Anxiety hits me the hardest

at night. How do you calm it down? Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Legendary is here with BetMGM Sportsbook.

Sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports. Download the BetMGM app. See BetMGM.com for terms. 18 plus Alberta only. Please play responsibly. Subject to eligibility requirements. If gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being,

211 alberta is here to help call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca that mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the alberta i-gaming corporation standard message and data rates may apply honestly get off that damn phone get off that damn phone i know you guys know that but i think there's something that switches in the algorithm when it knows it's nighttime where it starts feeding you what I consider schizophrenic style like videos and I'm so happy I've really limited my screen time recently because it doesn't give me enough time to consume so much where it also makes me feel like I'm going insane every night it's like I see one and I'm like oh I know what's happening I gotta put the phone down but at night the way that the messaging in the videos

you are getting switches is insane i don't understand i'm still learning so much about algorithms especially like working hand in hand with social media and i kind of see it the way same way gambling or not gambling stocks is to men the the algorithm is to me it's so interesting how they change it when they change it why they change it and right now especially with tiktok a lot of it is about like fear and manipulation and so i'll notice like in the morning if i get on tiktok it'll be a lot of astrology videos things like that just like what's coming with your day blah blah and of course i've trained it that way duh yours might not be a lot of farm videos horsies cute little kitty cats like love so good good vibes for today and then it's 3 a.m

and i'm scrolling it's like recent murder local law enforcement bad things uh you know my story with a sociopath um here's some random weird ai videos that are very much so not good here's a horrible horrible nightmare inducing story time and it's like baby you've got to get off the phone you you got to get off the phone the anxiety is going to get worse you're going to feel worse about yourself it's going to be horrible and awful um another great way to really calm down your anxiety at night is have a good wind down routine you know my wind down routine includes my past one was probably like the most anxiety inducing uh wind down routine you want to hear it it would be like shower go to bed with wet hair that is unbrushed okay in dirty sheets

lights out no light in my house no no lights at all and then three hours of the most nightmare inducing tiktoks you could possibly find yeah no wonder my anxiety was on 10 hello now keep in mind i'm also ripping the dab pen like wow oh my god girl stand up now okay now that i have i forced myself to take time to work on this my wind down routine is okay long shower eight different really good smelly soaps okay really good conditioner i get out of the shower i put on a really thick body lotion a deep hair conditioner i brush it out sometimes i will um dry my hair so i'm not going to bed with wet hair i started changing my sheets two times a week so every time i crawl into bed it is like crisp and warm and beautiful and lovely you know what else has helped my anxiety

night lights i know this sounds crazy i am literally a 27 year old woman but being in a home can be very terrifying even in your room be very terrifying with all the lights off like naturally are you know prey minds or like something's gonna eat me out here so a cute little nightlight cute little plug-in a little something in the room across from you to just ease your anxieties a little bit and then a really good tv show like a calming tv show everybody has their like go-to i've seen this a million times kind of tv show that's just soothing mine are this is crazy mine range from different ones but american dad um futurama and parks and rec those three and sometimes it's always sunny in philadelphia but that can be anxiety inducing

in its own sort of way but those those shows are my go-to just like i've seen this a million times let me put it on in the background and just zonk out that's the best way for your body to kind of wind down calm down and i put my phone away much much earlier if i'm going to like want to stay up i force myself to read read a book um reads a poetry even like a substack article whatever it is i don't care but reading it'll help slow your brain out it'll help slow your body down maybe even lighting a candle as you lay in bed blow it out okay but those things have really really helped me have a good calming soothing non-anxiety inducing evening all right and also like not so much weed i love a little weed evening weed nights absolutely but like i don't need to be eating an

edible every night and going on that journey talk about anxiety inducing maybe every once in a while maybe like fun little friday nights fun little sunday nights you know boots mama can i get a boots boots that's my vibe of the week what's yours mine is we have a full moon coming up i'm just hanging on i'm doing my best baby it is boots boots that's my vibe like a little nervous boots i'll tell you what um and also the full moon write-up i need to do some more research before i speak on it but the full moon write-up will be up on the patreon this week don't you worry i must prepare the girls adequately oh no i feel like my boyfriend obviously checks out other women in

public often often in all caps baby what how do i talk to him about it please there's no talking there's no talking the there's no talking there's no talking this i think lustful men are some of the most untrustworthy men on the planet and the last thing you need to be dating is a lustful man and this sounds like maybe we're at church it sounds like i should be in a turtleneck giving a preach a service a sermon whatever the word is about staying truthful in your marriage and staying one to god no i like genuinely believe a lustful man is an untrustworthy man a lustful man is someone who doesn't have control on impulses a lustful man is someone who is unable to see women as human beings and those three things make that person

inherently dangerous this is why people also say um pick me girls can be very very dangerous those are lustful women those are women who will put you aside to uplift a man those are women who will you know uh maybe put you in dangerous positions in order to get to a man this is uh women who will also like maybe settle for men that are unsafe because they're a man you see it's like two sides of the same coin and i will speak equally on men and women but since we're focusing on men here and men checking out women in public it is like my biggest ick and there's no conversation the only conversation you can have with yourself is a do i want to be with a man who visibly is staring at other women in front of me because he is that lustful of an individual that he is unable

to let women exist in public and is that something i'm willing to settle for no no i know it's not i know it's not i know it's not what you want or b am i gonna go find a normal freaking human being who's not gonna do that because there are normal men out there there are men who will not be doing any of those things i promise you i promise you okay i mean i guess you can't have a conversation where you call him out on his bullshit like it's weird that you are doing this and you know like staring at women in public it makes me feel like a b c and d but i don't think that's gonna change anything i really don't i don't i think it's gonna make him hide it more until he feels comfortable enough to do it again but i don't think it's gonna change anything and in fact i

think you gotta maybe you gotta run and i know easier said than done easier said than done but if you want the real advice it's get the fuck up out of there as fast as you possibly can and on your way out tell him why you're doing it tell him hey the way you see women is very weird and awkward and i'm sure this probably extends to other parts of your life i'm sure there's other problems you're having with him and women it's not just the checking out women in public i know it's not me going through the files of your brain right now but usually one thing is a symptom of another with this kind of behavior and yeah not safe not good not trustworthy and if you're gonna have a relationship the first thing it needs to be built on is well chemistry and the second thing

is trust i would say trust over chemistry any sort any single day you gotta have both though you gotta have a boat if there's no trust there's no relationship and i stand on that i stand on that are you into submissive men at all oh my god oh my god wait this does this guy listen to my podcast if you're listening to my podcast let me know i doubt you are but this man has been in my dms i'm not even kidding for like a year now asking me if he can be a submissive man to me okay let me be honest i for the girls i'm not into submissive men and not that they don't deserve a place okay submissive men deserve love too but i just am like not domi mommy vibes in the bedroom i'm domi mommy in the real world okay so the bedroom is my escape the

bedroom is me not being that but i'll do it for a paycheck i'll tell you that i could be domi mommy for a paycheck that's how i feel doing all of my work so why not but i had to share that it literally I was like jump scare wait submissive men no yeah I don't know and I feel like um submissive men are more common than you would think especially in the bedroom because I mean the same like hyper independence I feel in the real real world makes me want to escape that in the bedroom and I think a lot of men also feel that way in the bedroom where it's like they are constantly having to behave in a certain manner that is very like alpha dog level some of them some not you know there's complications everything so of course they want to escape that in the bedroom and be a little

bit more submissive and like i don't blame them you know it makes sense everybody has their kinks everybody has their desires everybody has their things that make them get off safely um but yeah no i just am not like a i'm not a domi mommy in the bedroom unfortunately unfortunately not not in my extracurricular vibes the extracurricular way hi hannah so i actually watched one of your episodes from 2021 it was your third one about tolerance and it's funny how these things pop up when they do because you were talking about tolerance and how sometimes you need to take a break and build yourself up I had a bad experience recently and I've just been done since then because I'm such a lightweight and then your most recent episode that I watched right after that was

talking about how sometimes you need to burn everything in your life down and I also did the same thing quit my job decided everything needed to change and I just think it's so funny and coincidental how things work like that do you see patterns like that happening in your life too and is there anything that I should do to like change change things I feel like I'm a little bit reckless with my decision making I just honestly I'm not reckless in my decision making I ponder and I ponder and I ponder until there's oh there's like I've thought of everything and actually my brain hurts um I think sometimes recklessness can help and hurt first of all you have the confidence to make hard choices and make that leap so that is wonderful oh my god literally this weekend i

was talking to my co-worker my friend and you're just i was just going over where i was and i was like i don't know baby i think i just need to take the l and she was like maybe it's an l as in leap maybe it's an l as in leap i was like oh damn i really need to switch my mind frame immediately you're so right Ella's in leap I have a hard time taking that leap so I want to say props to you for knowing what you want and what you need and taking that leap but I think sometimes people who act before thinking sometimes finds themselves in tricky situations and I think the best way to slow down and think about what's best for yourself and not make risky decisions is to make and I know this seems so fucking simple but to make a pros and cons list pros

and cons lists were the best way when I was reckless when I was younger when I was just like balls to the wall fucking insane I started forcing myself to slow down and make pros and cons lists well now it's like baby I've made so many fucking pros and cons lists there's no more pros and cons lists to make it's like I need to be brave like you and start making just jumps just start making leaps start making just decisions good or bad just make decisions period point blank it's time for some movement to get going so I'm proud of you for getting movement going and making decisions in your life and choosing kind of what's best for you but now to really slow down and maybe think through your decisions the best way you can do that is really pros and cons list or another way

is visualizing where you want to be in a year and writing all that down and seeing how that coincides with the life you're living now what choices are you making now that maybe future you wouldn't agree on what things can you enact that future you does that you can put into practice now it's a great way to slow down think adjust and figure out you know before you just like blow up in people's faces you know a little planning goes a long way a lot of planning keeps you stagnant that's for sure so yeah mama's gonna be brave and make some leaps some bounds and leaps but when it comes to when it comes to coincidences thoughts on coincidences i love a coincidence i'll tell you what I love a coincidence because it's like it well coincidences deja vu moments where you're

like I've been here before what's going on you know this feels very familiar this feels very weird this is a strange coincidence um I love coincidences because I feel like it's the universe showing you you're on the right path you know it feels correct to you or it feels familiar to you because you're supposed to be there you know you feel like you've been here before because you're supposed you're supposed to have been there before you know what i mean so i love a coincidence i love when i get deja vu i love when i'm getting deja vu often i feel like when i don't get deja vu often or i haven't had it in a while it's like oh let me let me look around let me check and make sure i'm doing things correctly uh let me make changes accordingly um but i feel like

you're feeling like you have a lot of coincidences going on if you have a lot of deja vu if you have a lot of i've i've been here kind of moment um it does have to do with you just simply being in the right place right now like you are where you're supposed to be your future you you know the life that she's walked where she's supposed to be you are stepping into her footsteps like on the sandy beach um and you are now you know becoming one and i think that's beautiful i think it's lovely lovely i think it is a wonderful feeling and i am realizing i haven't felt it in a while oh so i'll let you know the next time i have a deja vu moment what are some ways to get to know yourself and who you who you're becoming in your 20s two and five canadians will hear the

words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Legendary is here with BetMGM Sportsbook. Sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports. Download the BetMGM app.

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with the Alberta iGaming Corporation. Standard message and data rates may apply. I think there's some key things that you can definitely do that I think are very, very positive. And maybe not easy steps, but worthwhile steps in your life. Number one is travel. Travel is so important. Travel is amazing.

travel especially to other countries I think is very important or to places cities that you want to live that you want to move to travel is the best way to really broaden your perspective open up your heart to what it is to be a human to be alive to a romanticized life to experience life and to gain new perspectives I think travel is incredibly underrated and it's a main reason why I have a goal of mine where I need to travel somewhere every year every single year I travel somewhere maybe two places who knows where I where I go um but whether it's an Airbnb in my own state whether it's the state next to us whether it's uh the other side of the country whether it's a different country whether it's a 15-hour flight every single year I travel somewhere

new it always teaches me something whether about um resilience of self um you know working through problems um meeting new people broadening horizons um eating new food that's probably the best part to travel but travel is so important especially when you're in your 20s to really develop a well-rounded view of yourself and self-identity number two is if you can and this kind of goes hand in hand with traveling is move move pack up your shit move start your life all over it is the best way to get to know yourself and I mean don't do this until you are pretty confident in where you want to go like don't just up and move to a random city that you're like I'm just changing being miserable here to being miserable in a new miserable place it's like do your research take

your time maybe wait till your mid-20s to do this you don't have to do this in your early 20s just whenever you feel comfortable and you feel confident and where you want to go do it absolutely do it it is so worthwhile talk about resilience talk about strength talk starting from the ground up it is so nice also to kind of like release ties and have this freedom and this air of freedom in your life especially in your 20s it's hard to do in your later 20s in early 30s so it's very worthwhile to do it in your mid 20s or early 20s if you can before you have so many roots in the ground I would say definitely the sooner the better but do your research maybe travel a little bit to the cities you want to try out and then go from there all right number three is stay single

if you can if you really want to learn about yourself if you really want to do the work if you really want to develop a full well-rounded identity stay single I know I know everybody wants to be loved everybody wants to be loved and in love and relationships and like yes absolutely I'm such a relationship girl like I feel just like so even if it's like the worst relationship ever it's like I'm just I am I can't help it I'm a relationship girly and I think it does it does hold me back whether the relationship is good or bad there's something to learn from it always but if you can kind of like ignore the noise and really really set some hard boundaries in your love life and like don't fucking settle like if one thing is wrong if like if it's feeling off

if it's not feeling correct if it's not feeling how you think your future wife or husband is gonna be then you just you move on with your life you don't settle for bullshit you know qualities or things that you don't want to carry with you for the rest of your life like having a partner is having baggage I think a lot of people don't talk about this enough where it's like you can choose the baggage of what you want your partner to be okay every single partner comes with baggage if it's the best partner in the world maybe it's just a carry-on maybe it's just a backpack you throw it on there's a couple little childhood traumas in there nothing crazy maybe some bad spending habits but nothing insane just a cute little carry-on little duffel bag easy peasy you

and throw it above your head no problem some relationships it's you know 18 suitcases and they're all bursting open at the seams and they're falling apart on the fucking airport floor and you're having to pick it all up and zip it all back together and oh my god i have so much to pull around i'm making like eight trips i had to bring three cars to get all this baggage to the airport to carry it around like you be careful with the partner you pick every single partner comes with baggage choose your baggage wisely all right baby it's a very relationships are very easy way to also uh not be like what's what am i looking for to say um to ignore yourself relationships are very easy way to kind of like live someone else's life so you don't have to

live your own um so if you can be brave really hold strong boundaries wait until you find the right person for you or leave whenever you're brave enough that's probably the best thing you can do but staying single will open you to way more connections it'll open you to way more possibilities it'll give you the freedom to do whatever the fuck you want you're probably gonna make way more friendships and build a better social circle I highly recommend staying single if you can and when you do find the right person if you commit to staying single when you do find the right person it'll fit like a puzzle piece it'd be beautiful the baggage won't be too much it'll work out I'm not saying you have to you know give up love I don't want you to give up

love if the right person comes along baby give it your all that's for sure but you can be a little picky and i encourage you to be very fucking picky another one is try hobbies um in your 20s i think it's very important to start picking up new hobbies you have to look at life as one big like you know when you're going to sign up for classes like high school classes and you have all of the different like extracurricular not extracurricular the activities list okay you can do art you can do ceramics you can do theater you can do welding you can do woodworking you can do weightlifting you can do a teacher's aid you can work in the library you can help the secretaries you can work in the office you can do this you get like you have to look at life as a catalog of those choices

and when you're signing up for school say they make you pick three okay now look at the catalog of life and pick three and try them that's what you need to be doing in your 20s maybe you start with one then you have enough time you add on another the other one doesn't work out you you replace it you know what i mean but you need to be trying hobbies and actively trying new things in your life and they can look like many different things for me horseback riding art class ceramics i'm going to live drawing sessions helping out on farms volunteering time maybe it's you work at the renaissance festival for a little bit maybe it's you work here for a little bit maybe it's you're a barista in the mornings on the weekends maybe it's you're trying knitting you're trying pottery

you're trying ceramics you're selling vintage you go thrifting for fun you try muay thai you try boxing you start going to the gym you become a swimmer you become a high diver you start painting you start collectibles you start i'm like there's so many different options like so many different things you can do in this life and all of them are very different but all of them should feed into what you are curious about and what makes you feel grounded what makes you feel well-rounded as an individual okay maybe you have some anger issues maybe you have some energy that you need to fucking burn off let's get you in the gym let's get you in a boxing kickboxing taekwondo class all right let's burn off that energy maybe you work a very very hard physical labor job

let's get you into reading all right let's get you into reading into relaxing into escaping into healthy escapism maybe maybe you don't do anything like maybe you need some self-confidence let's get you into horses that's what mine was about it was like i have no self-confidence i have none oh my god like i need to learn how to escape my mind and be in my body and be present and be grounded horses were fantastic for that it's something that i think i can never give up now even though i only started it almost a year ago like not even a year ago it's something i will take with me until i die because it's changed it's changed my life so much it's given me so much just like confidence and life lessons that i never would have learned unless i put myself out there

you have to be doing hobbies at least three okay start with one start with one if you have nothing start with one work your way up and i don't care how fucking nerdy they are i don't care if the only book you can pick up is a fairy smut dick down crazy style book i at least you're reading at least you're reading i don't care i don't care if you are the nerdiest fucking human on the planet i love you for that okay make your little models and paint them i'm obsessed like yes get into Dungeons and Dragons that is so fabulous I genuinely believe having hobbies and having interests is like the sexiest thing you can do and it's the best thing also for conversations when you're in that awkward 20s phase when people are like so what are you doing with your life and

it's like how do I answer this how do I answer this how do I answer this how do I answer this I would hate going to family events I would hate going to social circles I would hate doing all of this because it was like I had no answers and I had no answers because I was doing nothing with my life it's like what do i tell them i post on instagram and i fucking work as a server part-time like that's kind of boring that's kind of boring no one's curious about that so now i have different answers i i'm a painter i ride horses i have my own horse i'm very into the equestrian lifestyle now i have things to brag about because it's actually not even bragging it's just my special interest it really is my special interest you gotta get into hobbies and that's about it i feel

like those are some pretty good solid like big advice i can give you if you need to build an identity if you have no idea who you are if you are soul searching where must we go we who wander the ends of this earth in search of our better selves baby you you gotta just you gotta make push yourself out of your comfort zone you do i know it's cozy and comfy doing nothing all the time but we gotta do something sometimes all right travel move change your environments break up get together stay single and please for the love of god get some hobbies okay this is a longer one but i feel like this is a good one um also if you're ever interested in submitting longer questions you can always just dm me or on the patreon every single question i answer

on the patreon is about this long i think you can fill out upwards of like four paragraphs on the patreon um and it's really nice actually getting a bunch of details so here we go hey hannah i really hope you include this in your next pod episode don't worry baby because i could really use the advice so i've always been kind of a loner even in high school i struggled to make friends and often ate lunch alone or hid in the bathroom i've been told i have a great personality but i just don't really think uh input enough effort oh i just don't really think i input enough effort into socializing even though people really do brighten my day and make me happy now that i've been out of high school for two years i still haven't made friends i mostly just go to the gym

go to the beach by myself i always tell myself it's okay to go out and alone and i can meet people there but it never happens and then i feel disappointed when i go places because i imagine people will fall out of the sky to meet me my dating life has been the same way i never dated in high school and haven't had any opportunities after either i really want to make friends and start going on dates i thought about downloading hitch but i just feel a bit embarrassed to do it do you think dating app can help me socialize and possibly meet someone or should i just wait to meet someone in person most people my age meet someone through social media but i don't really see that as an option for me because i prefer not to post online okay so you and this is going to be tough

love but maybe we all need it sometimes you cannot expect for people to approach you or for you to meet people when you have built up a wall around yourself and that's what you've done maybe not intentionally but maybe to protect yourself and it's turned into a barrier um you refuse to talk to people you refuse to put yourself out there you refuse to try and make connections to sit with people at school it's okay you know we all get that awkward phase we all get that loner phase that's all right but now you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone you have to get yourself out of it and it's going to take effort it is you wanting to jump right into dating especially after not being able to even make friendships or connections is going to put you in a situation

that i think you're gonna settle for so i do not think you should jump right into dating i think the first steps you should make is just like saying hi or going to a bar and holding a conversation with a bartender and this could be like for lunch i'm talking at a restaurant just go sit at the bar by yourself holding a conversation with a with a bartender they're literally paid to stand there and talk to you okay just try and do that first you have to slowly start integrating yourself into socializing again so then you feel well-rounded as an individual you can make connections you can make friendships you can build relationships you know how to interact with like people socially so you don't settle for others and you feel more confident in yourself all right you've got to start

just like slowly integrating yourself back into reality and i had to do this myself i actually entered a phase a couple years ago where I like really was just inside baby I was inside inside inside as inside as you possibly could be and then I got so socially awkward that I like was so afraid to even just go out in public to run an errand to get my groceries to go grab coffee it was like no it must come to me I must door dash I must instacart whatever it is it's like I was so isolated and it was so unhealthy for me and I realized how unhealthy it was for me and I knew hmm shit ain't changing because i'm not changing and the only way for me to feel comfortable in like public again is for me to start interacting and socializing in public so i started small i

started simply by just going to the grocery store allowing myself to be perceived saying hi to the security guard talking with the cashier talking with a random person in an aisle all right then i worked my way up to maybe reaching out to old friends reaching out to people i'm curious in you know hitting up random friends to go do something then it built up into more and more and more you see what i'm saying and if you need to force yourself to be social take a class if you're like i do not have the confidence to go out in public and start speaking with someone randomly in public take a class i don't care what class it is it could be anything it could be a simple one-time jewelry making class it could be a series of classes where you're learning something

it could be a weekly class a physical workout class a yoga class whatever it is take a class it'll force you to socialize you will have to introduce yourself or whatever you'll have to at least talk to the instructor hi bye thank you whatever take a class that is the best way to get back into the world socially but you've built a wall around yourself and you can't expect people to approach a wall okay this is something that i see constantly out in public i'll see people like if i go to a club i'm a very like i like to look around at clubs i like to watch people watch at clubs um and i'll see people like standing around and they you could tell that they're wanting people to approach them but they're unwilling to kind of release that wall and they have like

almost this energetic shield up and people feel that people feel that energetic shield that energetic wall and they also like will respect that boundary and not approach you okay if you feel unapproachable they won't approach you so you have to work on kind of slowly lowering that wall slowly starting to believe in yourself slowly starting to really trust yourself and feel confident in yourself and naturally you will become an approachable person i'm a very approachable person in public maybe there's no wall there ain't no wall that's for sure people will come up and yap my ear off and you know what I love it some of the best most like cathartic conversations I've had are like with random strangers in public random fucking people being like when I was your

age I was blah blah blah and baby just go off live your best life and it's like whoa okay you know what period you know like it is so worthwhile I mean of course like pay attention don't put yourself in sketchy situations but i used to be someone with a wall and i'm so proud of myself for deconstructing that wall because i thought it would make me feel safer but in fact it made me feel more isolated okay and you deserve to be seen you deserve to be loved you do have a fantastic personality you do have a wonderful cadence to yourself you are gorgeous and beautiful and you deserve to be seen and loved and held by the world you have to be brave enough to put yourself out there though start small work your way up but i do not think you should jump right

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Hey Hannah, I've been listening to the pod for about a year and a half now and it really has just been such a positive experience for me listening to the pod. I mean, it's such a strong community and listening to the pod is really grounding for me. Like, sometimes when I feel, you know, like out of control or like lost, just listening to the pod really, like, comforts me, gives me direction. so like i really appreciate what you do and i just wanted some advice with like summer and body image i know you have made like you've discussed it a few times but you have such a cute vibe you curate the cutest freaking outfits you wear like these dresses and you post yourself in bikinis but you also post recipes and you like show off your cute little drinks and these like delicious looking meals and i was just kind of wondering what the mentality is when you do these

things how you approach you know feeling confident in yourself and like displaying yourself to other people and not worrying so much about how you appear physically you know um sorry if i was talking fast and i appreciate everything you do thank you so much everything probably it looks like it's just falling into place but that's social media that's social media you don't see the behind the scenes where it's like i need to film a cooking video and i need to find an outfit to match and i'm trying on different outfits and i don't feel good at this one or like i'm wearing this tight ass dress making a drink and i can barely breathe in the dress it's so hot in my kitchen like i don't i don't think you see maybe the performance behind it but there is performance

behind it um sometimes not so much like on some other posts it depends here and there but like yeah if i'm posing for an instagram picture i'm like you know i'm like pushing out sticking out I'm making sure I have a good outfit on I'm making sure I look good if the pictures don't come out good I'm taking more pictures like I think you and I definitely like curate that vibe of an air of this is just what's happening in my life and it's beautiful and lovely but is that my every single day no not at all you know I really am just a girl and some days it's like I look a fucking mess hair not comb breaking out oversized t-shirt on no underwear like stomping around my house like sometimes that is what it is and maybe I don't show that side of myself so much because

of course on Instagram we don't share that sides of ourself but maybe I need to do more of it maybe I need to be a real girl and share more of that like you know the duality that there is to life because there always is like I said Instagram is not reality but there is a part of like the Instagram what I share on Instagram that is me it's probably like me at my best self what I share on Instagram is me feeling the most confident feeling the most put together feeling feeling good and great and like beautiful outfit wonderful personality great recipe this that good caption like it all comes into place and that is very intentional it takes time it takes effort you know doing this hair baby this takes a good hour maybe I just threw on a slip dress sure but this

is a slip dress that I took time like going and thrifting and I've had for a while you know i think the best way for me to also come off confident and it's because i am confident and put together or like i have this you look at me and you think of a certain sense of self is because i i do know who i am i will say that i do know who i am i know very much so what i like and what i dislike and i think that's what makes people look well put together you know what i mean like i'm not afraid to share myself because when i am on instagram and what i am sharing on instagram is myself maybe it's my best version of myself my highest version of myself but nonetheless it is myself it's that other duality um and i think to really understand who you are

you just got to get creative with it you got to explore avenues you got to wear a bad outfit to understand what a good outfit feels like you know you got to wear too tight of a shirt to realize what a actual well-fitting shirt feels like you got to wear a certain color to realize what colors you do like certain fabrics or whatever you have to try new hairstyles to see what actually works with you try new makeup styles to see what you feel called to and a lot of this starts with just inspiration other baddies other hot girls other people that I'm seeing and what they're doing and pulling inspiration from that I don't want to become that person but I'm finding inspiration because I want to implement it in my own life you know remove the connotation of jealousy by just

taking that inspiration and pulling it into your own life. But yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm posting in bikinis. I'm posting in cute dresses. I'm posting my life. But I don't think you see the background of am I getting the right picture? Am I in the right pose? Is my belly sticking out too much? Is my butt all wrinkled? Like whatever, you know, and if it is, who cares? You know, we just move on. We do something else. We try something else. We switch it up. You know, human bodies are going to be weird and awkward and smelly and have stretch marks and have acne and have this and have that and that's okay that's something i give myself a lot of grace for um i think when you hyper fixate too much in your body it is like a waste of brain space and that's

easier said than done always but it's something that i will constantly tell myself which is just like it's not worth thinking about right now but what is worth thinking about is maybe do i feel comfortable not in your skin maybe the outfit you're in does the bikini fit well um are you in a place you feel comfortable wearing this um do you feel like you're um showing your best self to the world and in turn you feel your best self that's kind of how i go about it and i feel like it does translate in this air of like confident bad bitch well put together good sense of style because that is me showing up as my best self but like I said you don't see me as my worst self often you know a mess a hot mess looking a mess I don't show up as that often because of course

you know I do like to keep a part of myself private but yeah Instagram versus reality for real for real you know you can't compare other people's Instagram lives to your life all you can do is find inspiration and try and implement it in your own and a lot of me being my best best self is just showing up as my most well put together confident self it does it does make me feel good it does make me feel lovely hair curled maybe i don't have mascara on or eyeliner but i feel like a cute little princess in her fun little pink slip dress you know what i mean it doesn't take a lot for me to feel like the ultimate hannah but a little effort does go a long way and not effort on focusing on your body effort on comfortability in self my boyfriend cheated on me

he's doing all the right steps to correct his behavior no no nope nope nope and once again i know easier said than done but if your partner i am very very very quick about this if your partner ever cheats on you you have no option other than to leave if you stay you will suffer you will you're gonna suffer and i hate to be like the bearer bad news here but even if he corrects his behavior says he's sorry buys you that diamond ring buys you a hundred boot stem rose bouquet like he's on his hands and he's sobbing on the floor he's so sad he cheated on you he didn't mean to do it his grandma died he can't he just couldn't help himself he just nope nope when people make mistakes they have to learn from those mistakes and the only way for them to learn

from those mistakes is to face consequences from those mistakes and you giving him the cold shoulder bitching him out whatever is not gonna help him learn from those mistakes because you're taking him back you're saying yeah you did something wrong but it's okay i'm still gonna stay the only way for them to learn from their mistakes is for you to go and you know what i know i deserve better and i'm stepping away i know i know i know i know i know i know it's the last thing you want to do i know you love this man i know you want him in your life forever i know like you had this imagined fairy tale idea of what it was but now you are sitting with the reality of what it is and baby you must plant those feet firmly in reality and go do i deserve this or big or

do i simply put one a partner that's not going to cheat on me and dare i say the bare fucking minimum is a partner you can trust bare minimum that is the bare minimum you deserve in a relationship and this is not a partner you can trust they've broken your trust and it will be broken forever you might think it'll be fixed and then a bit flashback will come you you might think it'll be good and then you're gonna have this like gut feeling this drop in your stomach of like he really did this it is something that will never leave your mind because your body is trying to protect you your mind is trying to protect you from it happening again you you have to leave when they cheat otherwise you are doomed to suffer forever and are you going to suffer at the hands

of someone else forever that is no way to live you have to leave there's no other choice there's no fixing it he can do there is none there is none honestly i think like the best thing someone can do for their partner if they cheat is believe okay because of course the other person wants to be with them they want to fix it they want to blah blah blah like of course if you're you're blindsided you you have no idea what to do if someone cheats like and i don't think cheating is punishable crime of death you know like people make mistakes people do bad things that doesn't mean you should take them back like i said they must learn their lesson but that is something that you should not put up with i think that is a no go in relationships like i said trust is the bare

minimum and there's no trust here none none at all and there's no way he will be able to ever build it back that's one of those things where it's like if you take a piece of string and you cut it in front of you there's no way for you to reattach every single fiber and make it a whole well-rounded string again it's still it's going to be weak you're going to see that patch if you pull too hard at my break again like there's no way for you to put it back together for you for him whatever you have to be strong you have to leave i know i know i'm so sorry i'm so sorry but it is what it is my boyfriend has been feeling down from working hard any ideas on how to cheer him up my question is if you were down would he cheer you up and if the answer is yes then i have

some answers for you if the answer is no then baby don't do anything anyways anyways sorry projection um honestly here's my top my top ways to make a hard-working partner okay this goes beyond male female whatever just partner in general maybe friend maybe roommate whatever it is feel seen or heard if they're having a hard time well if it's romantic number one maybe some head post shower post work some head it goes a long way i'm not even kidding pleasure is important in relationships sex is important in relationships it is if you guys are unable to blow off steam together from a stressful fucking day then what's the point like genuinely unless the sex is just not important to you then cool um but yeah the number one one way to like give to your partner

yeah some head hello after a stressful day the number one thing i want is my pussy let's be fucking honest let's be honest number two i want a good ass meal and this is something you can do for anybody my favorite way to really treat someone to a meal is and this is like my love language i love feeding people i love showing up for people i love making people's favorite foods and i listen intentively when people are talking about their childhood or what they ate or like memories about meals about their favorite meal the favorite thing their mom used to cook their grandma whatever i listen intentively about that when it comes to anybody in my life so i know whenever they're having a hard time what to make them and so my partner like his number one thing

is like homemade like white people tacos which is just like ground very simple ground beef salsa cheese lettuce you know but there was a very specific way his mom used to make it growing up and so I literally called her one day and I was like he's having the worst day ever can you give me the recipe to your family's homemade salsa and also can you tell me where you buy your tortillas and exactly what you season the meat with and all this stuff and I surprised him he came home homemade his favorite tacos exactly how he wanted all the toppings everything including his family like heirloom salsa recipe which was genuinely very simple homemade guacamole everything everything it was probably the best way you could ever surprise somebody ever especially after a

hard day a good meal a good nostalgic like heartwarming meal there's a reason they call like some food soul food because it like really is feeding your soul it's feeding this like nostalgic aspect of your soul so yeah that would probably be my top two ways to um you know show up for somebody in your life if it's romantic baby burn off some steam in the bedroom if it's platonic and romantic a fabulous meal something that really feeds their soul feeds their mind feeds their body and makes them fully relaxed that's those are my top two ways i don't know i'm a midwest girl that's all i know about pleasure is good sex and good fucking food that's for sure but with that being said we have come to the end of our episode you guys i love

you all so much i hope you have a wonderful rest of your week stay strong full moon coming up don't lose your fucking mind or do you know make smart decisions that's all i really can say if you want to know more about the full moon and what to expect join patreon patreon.com smoke session already i'll have that right up um probably tomorrow um also extra episode every single week where i answer every single one of your questions i'm not even kidding every single one i love hearing from you guys i love the patreon girlies now they have a special place in my heart i'm so sorry but we really get a deep dive and i really get to be honest over there so it is a key if you are looking for one or to know more about the drama in my life maybe that's where

to find it the vlog this week i don't know what it's gonna be i'm not gonna lie i don't know what it's gonna be but it will be something that'll be up on hannah marlene 444 on youtube and if you want to submit your question or see more from me i went peach picking got some cute peach picking photos i'm gonna make a bunch of peach recipes with all the peaches i have that'll be up on instagram at hannah marlene you can also submit your call in there i realize the problem with the call-in thing since i have a business account every single message goes into my business message so i just have to accept you guys into my general message so if you want to submit a call and just be like hey girl i have a call in i'll accept you in and you'll be able to submit it then don't you

worry but i'd love to hear your beautiful voices i love connecting deeper in this way and it really is just the ultimate vibe thank you guys for the distraction i needed hopefully i provided you with one as well um maybe i'll have some updates for you guys next week but stay sane stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Thank you.