Smoke Sesh - feeling myself, finding love, & listen to your body

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

Hellooo hotties welcome back to another episode of the podcast i'm so excited to be back with you all on this beautiful Tuesday, we start the podcast off talking about my wet hot American summer so far, baseball games, egotistical men, getting a little too crazy on the 4th, and much much much more, we also get into all your questions such as finding love this summer, sometimes its best to keep it to yourself, don't say everything you think, expanding your vocabulary, reading, cancer season energy and surviving the high emotions, (not) feeling myself and getting back on track when you feel off, learning to listen to your body and what it has to say, rotting in the summer and getting off that damn phone, how to make him happy, hot girl hygiene this hot summer, taking time for yourself, plans for the podcast, saying no, red flag advice, and much much much much more! I hope you enjoyed this episode if you wanna see more feel free to follow me on instagram hannahmarlene and I'll see you soon! MUAH!

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all welcome back hotties of the world to another amazing beautiful wonderful incredible episode of smoke sash my name is hannah your host and i am here with you all today to chit chat to hang out to smoke a little bit of weed and see what the hell is going on in the world you know what i mean what are the vibes for the hotties this week last time we talked it was a hot summer week and i have

a feeling this week is gonna be honestly just as hot and summery but my god did i have a all american wet hot american summer week last week i was living my little america girl dreams not me going to like a baseball game and shooting off a firework and i'm like it's giving america um but my god i had a hectic week last week i feel like it's summer and i'm really just trying to take advantage of every moment that i can because i know we only have like a couple more months left of this really hot heat and these warm summer days before it finally starts transitioning into fall so i'm trying to make as many memories as i can so i am able to get through winter a little bit easier have some things to look forward to have some good

things to look back on that's the best way to get through winter um and to be honest all of my summer is really just winter prep so best believe i was booked and busy last week like i said i had a wet hot american summer kind of week we had the fourth of july i went to a baseball game um i went to a baseball game on tuesday after this episode actually last episode um with my friends it was dollar hot dog night of course we had to go let's be real come on now um it was supposed to like thunderstorm the whole entire night but it ended up being okay so we put on our little cut off short shorts i put on my little budweiser cut off t-shirt and a baseball hat and we rolled up to that game not my friend packing a joint as if we're gonna smoke inside the stadium babe where

are we gonna smoke that let's be real so funny though because now in missouri that it's legal the baseball stadium has like a 420 section which is like the vaping section like you can go there and vape you cannot obviously smoke weed inside of the stadium but like you can go hit your little thc cart in the 420 section that had me cracking up anyways us little girls in our cut off denim shorts and our little red flip-flops we pulled up to that baseball game ready to munch i was ready to down like eight hot dogs let's be real i'm trying to get my fill in the amount of hot dogs I ate last week actually is criminal it's insane no wonder my body feels like it's about to shut down this week I was really going hard I'm not gonna lie but we rolled up to those gates I had

my little denim bag my little denim shorts and we're walking up we're walking up do do do keep in mind I ate an edible before this so I was high as hell already only thinking about hot dogs we're walking up to the gate my friends go right in this old ass man shoved his arm in front of me and said wait not you it's like whoa the edible i was like is this an edible experience or is this a real life experience like am i hallucinating this what's happening he goes your bag's too big you can't bring it in keep in mind i went to a royals game about fuck like two months ago this is the exact same bag i brought in i was like um i didn't have a problem last time and i was like giving him attitude because he was giving me attitude bitch why the hell are you sticking

your hand out at me like there are better ways to go about this conversation like hey ma'am I'm sorry unfortunately you know protocol whatever instead of no you need to turn around right now my god old men and their fucking egos but you're working the front gate chill out like have some fun my god go drink a beer there's a stand like two feet away anyways I was like well I didn't have a problem last time he's like well you cannot go in you cannot go in I will not allow you to go in and this old lady walked up and started to do the same thing and I was like fuck it fuck it whatever I have the tickets let me scan my friends in and I'm gonna go put my bag away he was like well you can bring your wallet in and you can leave your bag here and motion to the trash can

and I was like hell no hell no girl fuck you I'll leave I don't have time for this this edible is kicking I'm not about to fight this old man this old lady right now let me go like I get it customer service you you have rules you have regulations but there's a way to go about it okay so fuck it i was like whatever let me scan my friends in let me get them there they'll go buy us beers hot dogs whatever they'll go do the little pre-game ritual and i'll walk my ass a mile back to the car because we had to park so far away let's be real we got there late fashionably late as us girls do but we got there late so I start sad spongebob flip-flopping you know the sound back to my car my head's down I'm like holding on to my purse like let me walk back all of a sudden

I see this golf cart flip around pull up right next to me and he goes did they turn you away for your bag how did you know how did you know yes sir this like 60 year old man in a golf cart I think he was like in charge of handing out water to the people working out there um because he had like these big water jugs and as soon as he pulled over next to me like a worker walked up with her cup and filled her water up and he's like you know what hop in I'll take you to your car how far is it like just motion over to where it is I'll take you over there and I'll drive you back oh my my angel my angel I was like are you sure like I don't want to do that to you like I'm sorry I also don't have cash like I don't know if this is like a concierge thing but I literally like

babe I could Venmo you I guess but I don't have cash on me I like if this is just goodwill then thank you I will get in the car and he's like yeah yeah no worries like you just looked really sad babe get in the car so I hop in this dude's cart he drives me over to the car I drop it off he's like okay we're gonna get you back like I'll get you back he drives me not up to the front of where like the sidewalk starts he drives me over the sidewalk through the barriers directly past this old ass man who stopped me and he dropped me off right in front of the metal detectors right in front of the gate he pulled me up as close as he possibly could and as soon as this old man saw me pulling up in this golf cart like thank you you're so sweet i really appreciate you his head went

down he did not say one word he did not look in my direction he knew he was being a dick and i love i love when like good samaritans show up and do their thing and put like people with a bad fucking attitude in their place without having to say anything that's always the best way to do it it's like oh you could have acted in the right way and you didn't so let me you know let me go above and beyond to act in the right way so he dropped me off right at the front gates bitch no bag what are you gonna do pat me down i walked through those metal detectors scan my little ticket walk right in walk right the fuck in the worst i hate old men with a big ego they are the bane of my existence anyways we went in there i ate at least five hot dogs to myself and a soft pretzel with

cheese and some popcorn and like two quirks two tall boy quirks fantastic time great time i don't even know what's happening in baseball i really am only there for the megatron megatron is that the word that is not the word is the jumbotron that's the word not the megatron the jumbotron the kiss cam the aesthetics of it all you know that's what i'm there for i'm there for the people watching not the baseball watching i don't care about those people the people around me because it's always the strangest characters always and my favorite thing to do off an edible is literally just watch the people around me and people watch and observe it is so fun humans are so funny like obviously me being a human let's be real um but like we are a little we're so silly you know the

way we act interact with each other it just makes me giggle um so we had our little hot dogs and it was supposed to thunderstorm and we're sitting kind of like under the balcony a little bit and all of a sudden it just starts raining sideways and we're sitting there giggling like look at all these little people who are close to like home base like having to sprint up these fucking bleachers out of the rain like oh my god look at them all of a sudden the rain starts spinning in a circle in the stadium as if a tornado is about to form inside the stadium and i'm not one to just sit around and observe my friends were a little high and they were just like observing my ass was up i was up immediately because i'm like i'm not gonna eat my tornado

today listen midwest princess i was raised over by those cornfields i know what a tornado formation looks like and best believe I'm scared of it so my ass was up up out of my seat all of a sudden the rain spins starts spraying us directly in the face I was like thank god I stood up because now I can run quickly away but not I was like giggling at the people getting rained on and then god being like okay well here's I'm gonna shove rain in your face now if you think that's funny let me show you something really funny um anyways yeah we just hung out in the rain while everybody else left and had our little time watched some tv finished our beers finished our hot dogs got some hot dogs for real cheap after that because everybody was leaving obviously um and then i got home and i

had no power that is a hot summer night for you okay when it just starts thunderstorming and raining and you lose power and you gotta sleep with the windows open and you're hearing the the rain pitter patter on your window seal with a tummy full of hot dogs what's more american than that let's be real we had the fourth of july on thursday i had the day off i was ready to go out and party all we really had planned was just meeting up with my boyfriend's friends and going to the skate park like the bigger skate park in kansas city and just hanging out and grilling and letting the boys skate while i light off fireworks like what's better than that um and specifically this place in Kansas City it has like the perfect overview of all of downtown

it's like the top of the hill of Kansas City so you can see everything you can see fireworks in millions of directions millions of directions so we were packing hot dogs I made jello shots fun fact jello shots are so easy to make all you need is a packet of like a three ounce packet of jello you need one cup of boiling water and you mix it in the jello and then technically you're supposed to add one cup of cold water and one cup of vodka or your alcohol of choice my ass said no that doesn't seem like enough alcohol so i only added one cup of boiling water and two cups of vodka to those jello shots best believe i was so incredibly drunk that night we started taking jello shots i think i made like 30 of them and we started taking jello shots at three o'clock

we did not get to the skate park until 7 30 because we did not want to get there earlier it was me um my boyfriend's friends some of their girlfriends it was a great time one of them ended up bringing a grill so he threw some brats and hot dogs on the grill i had cut up jalapenos and onions and brought the buns and brought the condiments i was giving like skate park mom energy there were people throwing off like half sticks of dynamite into the bowl and like everywhere there were fireworks everywhere it was insane insane it was honestly like a war zone and then of course the boys are like throwing fucking fireworks at each other and i'm like i this is i'm scared i'm scared luckily i was drunk enough that i was like fuck it if i get hit with

a firework i'm surviving you know what i mean like my body will just go limp thank god but my god it was a war zone out there one of his friends had driven up through the field onto the hill in his jeep to overlook the city like it was all these people in their picnic blankets and like a random jeep in the middle of all these people i was like how the hell did you get here what is going on I like being around people like that who just like don't give a fuck in the best possible way not the kind of way where it like puts people in danger obviously but I don't give a fuck as in like I'm here to have fun like let's make it the most fun possible and it was definitely that we were out there drinking taking jello shots eating so many so many hot dogs until like 11 30 12 and

then I gave up because that's when the crazies come out and I was not around to be I was not about to be around the crazies when they had like illegal fireworks that did not seem like a fun time i'd already had a couple of close calls i lit off like a hundred pack of those little dynamites in my hand and it like it the fuse went off too fast like it exploded in my hand i have a lot of firework experience okay i grew up in the ozarks in the summers so best believe like my family was making homemade fireworks in the middle of nowhere like we have experience we have firework experience trust me i live in the midwest we create our own kind of fun you know what i mean so it was a great time once again I had way too many hot dogs that week I don't think a human

is supposed to like legally eat that many hot dogs in the span of one week their arteries will clog probably from that um also the amount of alcohol I had I was like I think I'm ready to go sober I am going sober is something I genuinely think about a lot especially after all those jello shots and a couple beat boxes and a couple quirks I'm like oof there's no day after drinking that I feel good there isn't especially after I feel like after 23 and 24 your hangovers start getting worse because your body stops processing it as well as it used to like these ages of like 16 to 21 I didn't get hung over at all there were no hungovers like I could drink and drink and party and molly and whatever and I would wake up the next day and be like okay I'm good like what are

we doing like no headache no fatigue full night's sleep usually no throwing up but now it's like I get one whiff of it or even a sip and I'm like oh my body just feels so heavy so heavy so genuinely something I think about a lot definitely want to cut back a little bit but we had a lot of festivities I don't really have any coming up so I feel like naturally that will fill into my routine but after this week of shenanigans and fireworks and hot dogs and just having a time I am like I need to get back to the basics I was living my little Dionysus lifestyle my little party have a fun time lifestyle and now i'm like oof we gotta focus on me i gotta focus on the betterment of me because if i keep doing this at 30 i'm gonna feel awful i'm gonna feel

horrible i'm gonna barely gonna be able to walk let's be honest so at the end of the summer not the end of the summer i guess we're rounding you know the midway point the end point of summer um I am really just trying to focus on me and moving my body and getting into the sunshine and drinking enough water and stretching and really just taking care of the basics I also like deep was hungover and we just like deep clean the entire apartment that felt really nice not me swapping out my vodka for this green tea I've been obsessed with making like jugs of green tea recently if you need a good green tea recipe i take a mason jar i fill it up with probably like three-fourths the way with water three green tea bags green tea doesn't need to soak that long it

needs like two three minutes to soak honestly i give it a good soak i give it a good stir i add half a lemon and i add a fourth a cup of sugar maybe a couple tablespoons of sugar i give it a good stir oh this in itself is a hangover cure if you throw a couple tablespoons or not a couple tablespoons a couple teaspoons of salt a pinch of salt this is better than gatorade okay cheers oh my god talk about shenanigans too here at the skate park i was eating a hot dog i was facing the opposite direction because the whole skyline is filled with fireworks i'm watching fireworks from miles away i'm watching fireworks from the house next door shooting them off i'm watching fireworks from the family right next to us who just spent $700 on the neighborhood blowout package or

whatever king of the neighborhood package just like going crazy I'm watching all that all of a sudden I hear yelling I turn around and this guy is trying to fight this group like the group of men I'm with this singular man is trying to fight the group of men I'm with and listen we live in Kansas City so I will always like be on the lookout of a gun perhaps like we live in america if there's a fight anywhere i'm always assuming there might be a gun involved but my boyfriend he was wearing you know my last episode i was wearing my like rhinestone sexy hat he was wearing no shirt cut off denim shorts sexy rhinestone hat this man is trying to fight everybody and he is like bro chill like this is not the place everybody's trying to have a good

time like leave no one fucking wants you here like leave and the way he just like completely minimized or like minimized the situation completely and completely just like took care of the situation i was like honestly thank god because i didn't know what to do i just turned around this man is like trying to swing on these people and i'm like what is happening and my boyfriend's like go like we don't want you here you're ruining the vibes please no one is fucking trying to fight you it's the fourth of July once again men with egos that no one wants to deal with take it somewhere else um so that was also I was so drunk and I turned around and all of a sudden I'm like oh fuck these people are gonna start fist fighting in front of me and that's gonna

kill the mood but thank god my boyfriend's like dude leave we're just trying to skate and have fun like if you want to shoot off fireworks then go ahead but no one's trying to fight you you're giving loser energy please I need you to go somewhere else and guess what he did he packed up his shit and left because it was 1v12 and that would have not gone well obviously obviously so yeah very hectic 4th of July great time I really got into the hedonism of it all ate way too many hot dogs uh dealt with way too many men with big egos happy 4th let's be real um and now yeah I'm just chilling and recovering and resting from all that I had my last day at my old job last week so I feel like I'm really ending new cycles and coming into new ones which feels

really nice I'm very excited for that um I'm excited to see how this week treats me with my new schedule I have a lot of new content coming out for you guys I just posted a outfit of the week reel you guys seem to like those so I think I'm gonna keep doing them um and I'll be posting a little recipe video um sometime this week I'm making salmon hand rolls because I'm craving them and I need them for lunch this afternoon so I will be going and buying salmon and filming that so if you're interested you need a good munchie for the week please go visit go give it a little watch go try it out but once again I'm getting back into the basics I need to get into nature I need to get my tan on I need to get moving I need to get stretching I need to fill my tummy

up with some yummy green tea and water take my vitamins comb my hair that's the end of summer energy that's what i'm going for no alcohol no fighting no fireworks we got that hyper energy out for the summer and now we are focused on the basics but i hope you had a beautiful and wonderful fourth um obviously not really here to celebrate america let's be fucking real um but i am here to celebrate fun and joining in with people who are here to have a good time because who hates fun you know what I mean so I hope you had a safe weekend and with that being said I'm done yapping maybe we'll smoke we definitely should smoke and then let's get into your questions okay babes cheers and then let's get into what's on your mind and what the vibe is

for the week I want to know what the girlies have going on you know let's hit this a little green tea asmr perhaps someone said and honestly love her um but they said i want to be in love real i feel like summer just brings out the lover girl in everybody you know we're all like feening after love because summer is the season of love but also i feel like when you have the feeling where you're like i want to be in love i want a relationship i want a boyfriend i want a girlfriend um that's coming it's like coming from a place of lack which is okay you can be lacking in some areas but don't define your life on the lack because you can find love in everything i talked about this in the last episode when people are like what do you think love is it's

not necessarily defined by a relationship or having a relationship like a romantic relationship it can be defined by having a friendship or your relationship with your mother or your father or your brother or sister your relationship to your plants your house plants your kitty cat you know your relationship to the world around you a favorite spot your morning coffee you can find love in the mundane and I feel like especially when you're seeking a relationship when you're coming from a place of lack it's very easy to find yourself in deep dark alleys and scary places because you're willing to travel further and maybe to places you wouldn't have gone in order to fill that part of yourself but but if that part of yourself is already filled with

appreciation and love around you sure maybe you do still want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or romantic love eventually don't we all we're human of course we have that desire if you fill that place of lack in your life with love and giving love to people around you and connecting to everyday love the type of relationship you will attract and the partner you will attract will fit into your life so perfectly and so completely that it will be like the best kind of relationship ever um the relationship that i am experiencing now came from that kind of experience um i had been in many relationships where it felt like i need to be in a relationship i need to be in a relationship I need to be in love so I was able to settle for anything you know I was like oh well he gives me

mundane love like the love that I thought was love at 18 is not the love that I'm experiencing now and honestly for the better you know what I mean I mean with every kind of human you're going to build a special connection and you will never be able to duplicate that and I do believe that's beautiful but also I do believe that finding love in everyday moments and surrounding yourself an appreciation for the mundane does bring a specific type of beautiful nature to people that is undeniably attractive especially to people who inherit the same qualities and also you're going to hold yourself to a specific standard as well because of that so seek love desire love i'm not saying don't desire love don't put push off romantic relationships

don't push off seeking for a partner keep doing that keep having love in your heart keep having desire keep dreaming of that but also don't forget about the little things that are in front of you don't forget about how important it is to have that fun afternoon with your friends to go to that baseball game with your friends to go on that road trip with your friends to spend time in the garden with your mom to cuddle your cat to have a warm cup of coffee on a particularly oh my my cotton mouth peculiarly that's what i get for trying to be smart cold morning you know especially that hot cup of coffee don't forget about the little things okay but love will find you it will eventually and it's always the best kind of love that finds you when you least expect

it someone said how to tell my mom i don't want to be christian anymore hmm see i think when it comes to extremely extremely religious parents you don't necessarily have to say those things out loud pro tip pro tip to all of my young girls out there who want to live fully and freely themselves you do not always have to tell everybody everything especially your parents especially your parents especially when your parents you guys have maybe not that like friendship friendship that's my best friend relationship when maybe they are a little bit judgmental or you know have their closed off values you don't necessarily have to tell them everything okay honestly if your parent is very religious I would just you know maybe stop

participating maybe I'm just gonna be really busy on Sunday mornings maybe I have a job i need to go clock into but do i necessarily need to look my mom in the eyes and tell her god's not real no we don't need to shatter her heart like that you know what i mean like sometimes honestly this is a great learning lesson for everybody is that you do not always have to say what's on your mind twitter is great but the real world is not twitter you do not always have to speak what you're thinking okay in fact i highly encourage you to oh fuck what did i say yesterday i was talking to my boyfriend about this don't just talk to talk think about the words you're saying and have something worthwhile saying sometimes like some sometimes the best thing

you can really do is think through what you're about to say especially for like me my adhd self where i just like spew random words sometimes sometimes let's think about a sentence before verbalizing it you know like me trying to think about the word peculiar oh my god i still can't fucking say it like girl let's think about that for a couple seconds before attempting it you know but yeah honestly life lesson i remember being like 20 and thinking oh my god you know maybe this is the time of my life i can tell my mom those crazy stories but then i would tell her a crazy story and she'd get like concerned about me because she's a mom and like rightfully so she's gonna be like oh babe now I'm nervous you know like let me put 20 years on it before I tell

her a story um that's what I learned I was like oh let me just let her live in peace because honestly she deserves it and I'll live in peace over here as well by not saying the things that she doesn't need to hear you know honestly life tip just keep it inside sometimes you know you can keep going on about your beliefs and what you want to do with your life without necessarily breaking your mom's heart you know speaking of not being able to say words here's a random one but always uh but i was always wondering how i can extend my vocabulary i've had people on here say i have a large vocabulary honestly i don't really believe that i feel like i could be using bigger words and one thing as somebody who wants to extend like my usage of words a you really need

to consume not media not content but like writing you need to consume writing um i think reading is so important and so healthy and i've kind of realized that later on in life because if you think about it i stopped school at 21 so i hadn't been like learning and observing i mean knowledge yes but like literacy for three four years because I wasn't reading books at the time and this year recently I started incorporating like a monthly book and to keep me accountable I always do a monthly book club on patreon um just to share like what I'm reading what I'm interested in and maybe inspire some of you guys but honestly just to make sure that I'm reading one book a month but that has really really helped and then also something that I want to try out and maybe I'll

Amazon Prime it today or find a cool Etsy seller is I want to do one of those like I want to get one of those calendars where it's like here's the word of the day maybe there's an app I don't know I'll go seeking searching and then I'll share it with you guys but I want to like extend my vocabulary that way where it's almost like a daily challenge because my like ADHD works in a really funny way where if it's like some really important task I don't care about it but if it's a tiny little task then I care like way too much about it so I know like one word a day I'm gonna be like no let's do it it's like the New York Times wordle I'm like why is this something that I wake up craving but not like doing adult things it's it's small things in life you know what I mean

um but yeah reading reading reading I know it's annoying but honestly I also think it's just healthy to have that dissonance where you're able to enter a different world and imagine it fully and immerse yourself in it um i feel like a lot of adults will lose that like creativity side of them and that like dreamer side of them and that's a really great way to get back into it um but also it will improve your literacy and vocabulary oh talk about vibes of the week someone said what does cancer season season have in store for us i believe it was friday night we had a cancer full moon and best believe that cancer full moon energy was high if you found yourself over the weekend maybe ruminating on past thoughts aka all the girls actually like 30 of you

who messaged me about messaging your ex or reconnecting with your ex if you felt the you know big heart girl energy the a little too sensitive to the small things the quick emotions the wanting to distance yourself that was the cancer new moon okay it was making things a little bit harder to deal with especially for the extra sensitive girlies but also especially for the detached people who don't deal with their emotions and can't handle them especially hard for them um we made it through that congratulations proud of you but the rest of cancer season we need to work on not allowing those emotions to take over in that way and not allowing them to take over in that way by processing them in the moment and getting to the root of them and letting them go

do you know what i mean that is the weapon that all cancers need to utilize but you also need to utilize the weapon of having a big heart and holding hope and dreaming and being just like a little princess with your hair your long hair hanging out of your tower braiding it painting staring off into the distance that's the kind of energy cancer season holds and that's the healthy cancer season energy that you need to step into your big-hearted princess energy you know wanting to be the best and do the best and really just give and receive love i feel like cancers have a special understanding of that but a unhealed cancer yes they will pinch you they absolutely will so please tap into those emotions feel them but please for the love of god let them

go you do not need to hold on to that anger from 10 years ago babe it's okay you can move on you can step into a new self you can molt and re-become okay babe love you someone asked how to feel more confident when you feel ugly interesting i feel like we all have our days especially like that week before no honestly not before like right after for some reason my cycle has been different hormonally with this new iud i don't know being a woman is so weird anyways love it shout out but also that like a week after my period I just feel not myself at all and I know it has nothing to do with like genuinely myself it is everything to do with my hormones and my emotions in that sort of way but there are a few tips and tricks to adjusting that emotion and working with it

when you are feeling a little bit more down than usual um a is having a little self-care time like doing a little face mask sitting in a bath really just like pampering yourself in the way you deserve um that has a great way of turning around that i feel ugly emotion where it's just like okay well let me treat myself like a greek goddess let me bathe in flowers let me comb my hair let me paint on a face mask and put on a lip balm you know what i mean really just pampering the self taking care of the self um in order to kind of like reverse that emotion also when it comes to like a day-to-day basis um maybe it's because you've changed you know what i mean i feel like when i go through those longer phases of like why do i feel ugly it's because i'm like

staying in a past self when i want to grow and change and develop into a new self so maybe try out a different hairstyle try out a different outfit you know what i mean allow yourself to molt and grow cancer season energy into your new self and step into her shoes i guarantee you will feel beautiful in them because it's like an elevated higher self version of you and also like it's okay to have like maybe you don't want to wear that sexy slinky dress that day girl throw on the oversized shirt if you feel comfortable you're gonna feel more yourself a thousand percent bitch this is what i felt comfortable in today okay very casual chill last week it was a spaghetti shop dress heart-shaped sunglasses and a sparkly rhinestone sexy hat like the duality okay allow

that duality to ebb and flow step into whatever self is best for you at that time um things like that seem to be the best not quick fixes but real life changes that you can adjust with i also think if you have a lot of self-doubt and self-demeaning thoughts having affirmations is so helpful especially when you get like thought loops like you have like ADHD thought loops where you keep thinking over the same bad thing over and over and over and over again I felt like that was a huge stressor in my depression and really helps me spiral a little bit too much too much it's almost like I had negative affirmations you know what I mean that I would just go over go over go over if you keep having those ruminating thoughts especially about yourself your self-image your

self-worth things like that you need to have positive affirmations to combat them if you are unable to think positive things about yourself babe let's start let's write down three three positive affirmations you can give yourself i on the patreon do affirmations of the week every week where i include like images and quotes and things that inspire me and then i set my intentions for the week so simple to do a great Sunday routine a great Monday routine and then specifically if you have a hard time with it or you have specific triggers when it comes to your look put them on sticky notes and hang them on your mirror okay so when you are maybe having those triggers you have those affirmations right there you don't have to come up with them because they are visually in

front of you it will help I promise when I was going through a really hard time when it came to my looks and allowing myself to enter that transitional phase and step into the new version of myself and i felt stuck and i was unable to think positive things having visual affirmations helped so much change your lock screen on your phone okay write down three affirmations change your lock screen on your phone to those affirmations it will have a psychological and a positive psychological effect on you i promise but you're not ugly okay you're beautiful and you're gorgeous and you're sexy and you're hot and you are you and that is what makes you amazing and beautiful and guess what there will never be another bitch like you so you better own it and

step into the best version of yourself so everybody can meet them and love them and support them in the way that you deserve so i love you stay sexy someone said sometimes i type questions but delete them because i already know what you'll say lmao illy listen sometimes my opinions change and sometimes they don't and sometimes they don't change for a good reason okay because it's what it's a bad idea it's a bad idea and listen if i'm in the back of your head being like no babe don't do that hopefully it's for a good reason you know what i mean hopefully i am deterring you from danger oh what are signs that your body is rejecting something job person etc i love you i feel like this has been a newer discourse on like the internet recently which is understanding

that sometimes and actually a lot of the times your body will tell you when something is wrong sometimes in the form of anxiety sometimes in the form of physical ailments okay and yes best believe when I was going through the worst breakout purge of my life I literally developed like I was so stressed and so depressed that I developed like a rash around my mouth okay I was lethargic I was iron deficient because I was so depressed so depressed like so genuinely depressed it looked like my body was rotting like it was dying in front of you now how nobody saw that I don't know I don't know that's a that's a question we're all trying to answer but your body will tell you when something's wrong especially when it comes to relationships as in

sex as well so of course relationship to self your body will show physically if something is wrong when it comes to relationships with people like maybe if you know that you're not supposed to be together like the sex is not as good you don't receive as much pleasure from it things like that you don't even want to have sex at all or I have also been with a man who stressed me out so fucking much that once again worst breakouts of my life I'm talking two to three cystic acne spots on my body morning and night not even once a day like I was breaking out constantly I was depressed i was extremely underweight because this man was stressing me out so fucking much do not let people have that much power over you if you find yourself in a place where you're like holy shit

i am not me and i am not me in a bad way free yourself see those signs and work towards a better self by removing yourself from those situations luckily I have not had a job that has stressed me out that fucking much because all of my jobs have been something that I genuinely enjoy but I have seen people who their jobs are so bad for them especially now that I think about it my friend who was a floor nurse oh my god those girls go through so fucking much so much if you think about it these are they're taking care of people's worst days and they are receiving the worst version of those people because of course they're on their worst day every single time they clock in for 12 hours overnight baby you don't see the sunlight yeah best believe she

looked like a vampire she did not look good i was concerned and i knew what it was about but she removed herself from that job actually she got fired but it was not her fault at all she was doing what she needed to do legally and she got a new job maybe it's an avenue that she never would have thought of but it has genuinely brought the life back to her eyes and it is so nice to see as a friend if you see someone like who looks like down and out obviously don't be like oh my god babe what what's wrong you look bad but like please check in on them please ask them how they're doing if you find yourself in a place where you're like wow my body is not doing well ask yourself what's going on in your life what is your stressor what are your triggers what is making you not take care

of yourself and you do have choice in this life and you can remove it thank god i removed that man thank god i got therapy honestly because i look back on pictures of myself and i love her she was hot she was cute she was the thing at the moment but i am so much like i am so different and so much happier and i'm glowing in a way that honestly i never have in my entire life and it's because i put the work in leaving bad situations and listening to my body and listening to those feelings and connecting to my emotions which who would have thought that would be a thing i would want to do and learning and living and trusting in myself and uplifting myself and the people around me it will make you glow from the inside out it really will you will see a complete and utter

shift and change and it is so beautiful to see anyways listen to your body please usually your mind has a lot to say and you should listen to it like half the time but your body you need to be listening to a hundred percent of the time does your heart feel good about it does your stomach feel good about it does your pussy feel good about it like you know what i mean how to not rot away during the summertime you need to create a summertime bucket list babe it's not over you have a couple more months i promise make a summertime bucket list of things that you want to do and it doesn't have to be big things it can be like go to the art museum um literally take a picnic blanket to the park and lay outside it could be going to walk around your local park

it could be like getting coffee in the morning on a warm summer day it could be going out for drinks with your friends going to the local arcade bar going to the local fair go berry picking like go to the baseball game like literally make a bucket list at least 10 things okay 10 things of what you want to do before the summer's over step into your glitterfied eight-year-old self okay and her jumbo markers and her jumbo you know drawing board and get into making a fun little list put some stickers on it pour some glitter on it and then every time you find yourself laying in bed for eight hours all of a sudden it's 3 p.m you've been scrolling for seven hours and you're like what the fuck am i doing i need to put this fucking phone down

i am losing my life you go to your little board and you close your eyes and you pick a thing and you do it you have to do it when you find yourself in those moments where it's like i need to be doing something else like i need to remove myself from the situation and do something else you have to listen to that urge you really do but having something like already kind of pre-figured out makes listening to that urge and actually having momentum in doing it so much easier so make a summer bucket list i think i made a summer bucket list already i need to update it because i've done so much already um but maybe i'll make a new one on my new goals for the end of summertime and i'll share it with you guys so please please please if you have not made a summer

bucket list make it now and get off that damn phone okay oh my god why won't my boyfriend let me give him roadhead probably because he's gonna crash the car probably for both of your safety you know what i mean if if he says no to roadhead it's because he's gonna lose control and someone's it's gonna crash okay don't no need to put yourself in any predicaments wait till the car's parked you know they also asked how to make my boyfriend the happiest he has been if i'm being honest i really just keep that man fed i keep that man fed he doesn't even need to be entertained like as long as i'm like cooking a good meal at the end of the day he's happy you know what i mean not the domestication of hannah oh my god honestly i'm always cooking anyways so it's like he might

as well fucking eat you know like i always cook way too much in my family i was always the one who cooked dinner for four people so i'm used to making food for four people and i always cook too much so it's like babe i'm going to make your plate double the size it needs to be you know and he's always fed and high and happy because of that um also i don't know just throwing some pussy his way every once in a while the roadhead i see you girl i know you're trying i guarantee he's happy but once again wait till the car is parked this is interesting hot girl hygiene tips okay wait I love this because I have really dove in into my hygiene this year especially because I have had to learn a lot of that on my own like my mom never really taught me a lot about hygiene

I mean of course I had like deodorant in front of me and I brushed my teeth and I showered and all that stuff but it's about like the little things the little things that maybe I even like I did observe her doing but I never like implemented into my own life for some reason that really just take like basic hygiene to the next level you know what I mean of course basic hygiene you know make sure you're cleaning your body and showering I don't care what products you fucking use when you shower you know like as long as you are cleaning yourself daily you don't have to wash your hair daily I get it girls I know the no shower the no wash your hair only nine days every nine days I get that i wish i could do that i have to wash my hair every day because it is a oil field for some

reason it is a full oil slick up there um but at least like please wash your body every day brush your teeth two times a day simple things you want to take it a step further which i highly recommend doing you go to two dental checkups a year all right that's it if you do that you're gonna be good your your breath is gonna be smelling fresh if you want to go crazy you can implement mouth wash my friends have these like chewable tablets by lush they're like not mouthwash tablets but i think like toothpaste tablets so if you're like in the middle of your day and you just finished lunch and you just ate like a fat tub of garlic hummus babe chew up a little lush toothbrush chew rinse your mouth out with water spit it out you're good to go but little things that have

really elevated my hygiene experience is a staying moisturized the girls who are glowing are glowing because they're covered in body oil and i love that about them i love that about them okay recently on my trip to yellowstone i got this okay i got this lotion that i'm obsessed with actually obsessed with it's called goats and oats i believe you can get it on amazon but it's by this local montana goat farm it smells like you just walked out of a bakery while they were making vanilla cupcakes it smells incredible but not so so sweet that it's like my teeth are hurting it's like a calming sweet it's almost like that sweetness plus a little bit of baby powder oh my god it is the best thing to rub all over my body before i go to bed it is fantastic after i

shower i lather myself up with the glossier body oil okay it's like a spray body oil i lather myself up i'm nice and moisturized i'm glowing i'm shiny i feel like a slug i feel great you know what i mean putting vaseline all over my lips before i go to bed or a little lip mask something like that finding a good face moisturizer that I can cover my face in before I go to bed finding a good hair mask I talk about the bread hair mask all the time that I can oil my hair up and all of a sudden it feels way better the next day I think being moisturized takes hygiene to the next level next level and then I think back on I'm like oh my mom never taught me that but like literally every night and morning she was in her cute little fluffy robe covering her legs with moisturizer

with lotion and it's like why did i not get into that i also think scents are very important i have this strange irrational fear that i smell bad i don't know why having a good deodorant really helps okay i've never tried any of those natural deodorants because babe i sweat and i smell bad and I cannot risk it so I'm going to stick to what works you know what I mean but also having a signature scent or a signature perfume to wear every single day is so nice it's such a nice change of pace um right now I've been wearing the Burberry Her but I recently got into like perfume side of tumblr for some reason and I'm loving it um and I think I'm about to start my perfume collection here soon one thing of hygiene that i do for myself that is not necessary at all

and is fully an aesthetic thing and not something that i think any sort of clean girl needs to have or anything like that but personally it's just a little hygiene thing that i do for myself that makes me feel amazing and great which is getting my nails and most recently my toes done um i could have no makeup on my hair could be one giant fucking rat's nest my leg hair could be two inches long my armpit hair could be five inches long you know i could be covered in acne but if my toes are painted with a sleek little cunty french tip i'm gonna feel like the baddest bitch in the world you know what i mean oh nail cam i just got my nails done hold on real canadian superstore has everything you need this back to school season save on lunchbox savers like

ziggy slice deli meat products for always 375 and get life brand pure vita shampoo or conditioner for eight dollars each at real canadian superstore when you're ready we're ready with a whole world and more aren't they everything giving july okay really honestly giving mid-summer that teal and the red little hearts very simple shout out to nails by meg so she is the best nail tech in all of kc i have to say and i know this because i came in i was working at my restaurant the other day and a girl came in and she was like oh my god i love your nails are they gel x and i was like how the hell does she know yes they are gel next and also let me put you on to my nail tech because she's the best and everybody needs to know about her and she was like oh no no i'm a nail tech and

i was like oh okay yeah no worries you get it then girl but yeah no she kills it and she was like oh yeah yeah i love it she's like you know what since you were so sweet let me give you a tip girl it was 70 cents i know if megan came in and picked up her food it would be at least 20 like she gets it but yeah no the nails every time everything and then i recently i've been getting my toes done tell me why the nail lady said to come in two months later these bitches are grown out i need to get in this week that's on my thursday to-do list but that's like a small little thing and i think everybody needs to have like a small little thing that makes them feel themselves that they can you know include into their weekly ritual of taking care of themselves

it really just is great for kind of like having that self-care moment and uplifting yourself in that sort of way and simply just doing something that makes you feel like you you know what i mean that's really all it's about but yeah hygiene you can keep it pretty simple you can get crazy into it but i think the most interesting aspects of hygiene are the little things that really take living to a new elevation like i want to feel like a greek goddess being oiled up every night let's be honest okay um and yeah i think having a signature scent making sure you're moisturized making sure you're taking care of yourself making sure you're indulging in those little aspects of self-care while also making sure your body is healthy and well loved is the ultimate aspects

of staying a hygienic queen so someone asked been working a lot this week and going insane any tips illy um so me too girl literally i i could not do it anymore i was like why the fuck did i sign up for this many hours holy shit my life is so busy i haven't had time for myself and then i was working brunch yesterday and my boyfriend texted me and he's like hey so i think my family's gonna stop by and spend the evening with us you know what i had to do i had to be a big girl because you know what i was looking forward to doing that night doing absolutely fucking nothing so i had to tell my boyfriend i was like listen babe love you sending peace and love to your family but i cannot physically speak or talk to anybody else. And I need to retreat to my home and do nothing

and kind of just rot for a little bit in order for my brain to slow down and for me to kind of decompress and relax a little bit. He's a good partner because I said those things and he said, say no more. They'll come on a different day. And I was like, thank God. Thank God. Because sometimes listen sometimes you just need some time for yourself and if you are not prioritizing time for yourself it's gonna be very easy to burn the fuck out and start spiraling someone asked where do you want this podcast to go will you bring people on friends honestly I've been doing this for a long time and I've been thinking about this a lot on where I want this podcast to go and you know if I want to keep doing it things like that as a content creator you got to constantly think

about those things you know what I mean I love this audience and all of your hearts are stopping you're like is she gonna say she's stopping no I probably will not ever stop creating content or this podcast but I have been thinking more about vlogs and I have been more interested in creating vlogs and I think like a weekly little not even vlog maybe just like youtube video-esque could be really fun and could be a great transition while also doing podcasts at the same time so if you're interested in like extra content in the form of youtube videos i mean my vlogs on there have really been doing well i think people have really been enjoying them but if you want to see more of those let me know because i really have been thinking about creating more of those no

the podcast is not stopping i will probably keep doing this for a long time just because i love to yap and connect with you guys and chit chat a little bit and kiki with the girls you know what i mean um but maybe i'll bring guests on the future maybe my boyfriend will come on some point he has nothing to say that's so funny he just sits there and looks pretty you know what i mean and that's why i love him but um yeah i have been thinking a lot about youtube content so if you want to see more like youtube videos let me know because i've been thinking about creating more of those and if there's any youtube content in particular that you want to see from me let me know as well someone said they wanted to see a joint rolling tutorial so maybe i can make one

of those for you guys how to set boundaries with my job they're working me to death you can say no and then if they make you feel bad you can stop responding you can walk away you can put your phone on do not disturb also in your schedule i don't know if you work a nine to five but babe you're only supposed to work from nine to five with a lunch break if you are a server and you kind of create your own schedule you can go into where you make your schedule and you can set the days and the hours that you want to work so they literally cannot schedule you through the online platform that they use so say no i encourage you actually someone said my boyfriend has trouble with empathy can we make it work can you truly feel love if you don't have empathy

that's all i have to say that's my only question and unfortunately it is a question back to your question but maybe it's one you need to sit with for a while anyways someone else said i'm long distance with my man and he can't communicate what do i do stop responding if he's not responding no need for you to respond honestly both of those were not great advice a little bit of red flag advice for you this is such july energy and i think it's a great way to end this podcast i'm so sorry i'm so sorry but someone said i made chocolate covered strawberries and i'm channeling my inner romantic self-love hannah i love that that is exactly all that july is about july is about getting to our inner romantic okay having that like big baby heart being a big baby being

a princess stepping into our princess energy really just romanticizing everything and anything that we possibly can but also trying to stay as mentally sane as possible okay allow yourself to change allow yourself to develop allow yourself to become a new person if that's what you need all right anyways i love you all have a fantastic rest of your weekend stay safe stay sexy stay high and i'll see you all next week Thank you for watching.