Smoke Sesh - finding your life path, fake people & spicing things up

Episode Date: February 28, 2023

Happy Tuesdayyyyy so exciting to be back with you guys on this bright and sunny afternoon. We have a busy episode today as I try and get through as many questions as I can in the short hour we spend together, we start off my chatting about crazy dreams and Pisces season tears, how to source outfits for cheap & second hand, we talk change & accepting it, leaning into negative emotions and letting them goooo, we talk love vs loving the attention, makeup and filters plus how to get used to the natural you, people with ulterior motives and cutting people off, people pleasing and saying No! Flirting with the plug lol, fake friends and people, depressive episode tips & tricks, the healing process and when am I actually going to start feeling better? anal, cocktails, bringing the spark back in relationships and finally finding your life path and how to in a society that wants you to behave a certain way.

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Hello, hi, how the hell are we all doing today? it's a beautiful bright sunny morning where i'm from at least the sun woke me up bright and early screeching through my fucking windows at like 7 a.m also i have been having inescapable

wild crazy dreams like as if i am a character in the last of us where it's just chaos chaos chaos tears chaos more tears and then it's just like oh my god I'm awake whoa I just feel like I lived a whole different life I feel like I just astral projected and lived for a hundred years and now I'm waking up in my body again oh my god so much like it's just so much to handle and I don't know why I think it's the Pisces season energy um it's very intuitive it's very much like dream worldy but also like I woke up sobbing one day I woke up and I didn't even remember like what I was crying about or what the dream was about but I woke up and I was just sobbing and I was confused and I woke up next to my boyfriend I think he really noticed because I wasn't like like sobbing

I was just like sad like tears were just shooting out my eyes and I was like whoa what happened and he didn't realize but then he just like started going down on me and I was like oh my god this is a full whiplash let me wipe the tears from my eyes hold on but it's just been kind of hectic in Hannah's little dream world recently um so my sleep has been a little off so if this podcast is a little bit more unhinged or chaotic than usual which I think you guys usually love it is due to my lack of sleep okay it's due to the fact that your girl's not getting a full at hours and that really affects how her brain mentally handles things so that's super exciting also i'm on my period so right now i'm laying naked in bed free bleeding um onto my beautiful

little towel because that's how i usually handle my periods i thought my iud they were going to disappear completely no no no that's apparently not true my cramps and my body are still getting used to this IUD this is my second period I've had with it first one was very light this one's pretty normal but still it feels like there is a small demon trying to claw its way out of me so yeah love being a woman very excited about that um but with that being said don't have much to fill you guys in on I've been working hanging out trying to pull my life a little bit together I feel like by the time we reach March in the season, especially within the school year, you hit March and you're like, okay, there is a end in sight.

And summer is perfect because I feel like all of us feel reborn in the summer. It's warm. We're half naked. We're outside. We're hanging out with friends. We're getting out of our house. New things are developing. We're moving.

Things are changing. And I love that energy. I feed, I feed off of that energy. okay little Gemini Hannah loves it I love a good switch up I love like re-entering my body feeling repossessed by myself and feeling more like myself and I feel like summer in the warm weather really brings that out of me so thank god today is like literally 70 and sunny shout out to mother nature for that because I really needed that nice revival I'm gonna go lay outside at the skate park with my boyfriend after this um but i'm moving soon very excited about that i'm going

to get my first house ever so that's gonna be amazing because i'm gonna have a little cute little recording like studio station we can chat we could smoke and we could do little um like just podcast videos together um also it's just like a new era in my life which i'm very fucking excited about i love like choosing a new place to live i try not to stay in a place longer than two years i think two years is the longest i've stayed at a house or rented from a place um and that was the first place i ever moved into it was like a beautiful little green house that like me and some other girls shared i had the attic for a while i also had like a little bedroom for a while but it was so cute and so fun because I got to decorate my space it felt like I had a home a

place to come to I got to like lay outside and tan in my own space and then I moved to do apartment which I like my apartment it's cute it's fun it's funky it's fresh but I like having my own space and like feeling like I am in my own area and I can curate my own space and area and I feel like an apartment doesn't really adapt to that or allow you to do so because you have neighbors you know there's shit going on outside you got your space that you're renting of course but that's really it I don't have a balcony which kind of sucks um so I'm very excited to move find a new house it's kind of what I've been doing recently is doing some house shopping I also have some fun vacations coming up so I'm just waiting on those but the in-between stage

before summer hits is kind of odd because you're like slowly hyping yourself up but also like still trying to push yourself to the finish line and push yourself to work hard and do more so trust me there are so many amazing good things coming we're all going to be shaking our ass in the sunlight soon soon baby i promise i pinky promise but for now we got to work our asses off we got to keep it going we got to keep that momentum moving and we got to understand that we can create beautiful wonderful things for ourselves if we just believe and trust and power through a little bit you know what I mean but as I'm powering through towards summer I think a few of you guys are too because this podcast has had a resurgence oh my god like there's a there's a lot

of you guys who show up weekly but I will see a spike like every few months where it's like tens of thousands of new people are showing up and I'm like whoa oh my god what did I do like did I do something crazy or are people just kind of mentally spiraling and they need a little self-help. Either way, wonderful to have you here. Wonderful to go through life together. Welcome to all of my new little viewers and visitors. It's so exciting to have you. Welcome to the Smoke Sesh. Whether you're smoking or not, you're always welcome to the circle. And for all of my OGs who have been here since day one or even month three or year two, it's wonderful to have you here as well. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for joining. But with that being said, I know what

you're here for I know what you want to hear because my questions have been tripling okay there's so many of you guys that have so many things on your mind and I'm gonna try and get through so many of them today I want it to be kind of a jam-packed full episode so let's not waste any more time and let's dive right into it oh my god did you guys see my Instagram post yesterday I did a little like um outfit like a bunch of outfits I just posted a bunch of outfits and all of them okay i thrifted for under a hundred dollars uh-huh and thrifting also like shopping secondhand like ebay depop stuff like that all of them under a hundred dollars so if you need some outfit inspo go to my instagram at hannah marlene um maybe with exception for the

first one because that balenciaga bag cost me a little bit of money but literally just replace it with a different pink bag under a hundred dollars easy peasy um but that was super fun to put together and you guys seem to love the outfits so i'm gonna try and do like one outfit haul post of like five or six different outfits a month so if you're interested or need some fashion inspo go there love you all thanks for all the love on that post oh my god i love hearing which ones you guys like resonated with because i'm like okay heard i love that and one of them was literally a ysl fur coat that retails for like a couple grand i got it for 75 at the thrift store and then i wore playboy heels that i got for like six dollars and muumuu glasses that i got on ebay for

like 10 bucks incredible you can wear designer you can look good for cheap you just gotta hunt okay you gotta be on the hunt babes speaking of change someone said i'm lost in life i know change is coming but i'm scared can't decide if i re-sign apartment lease or no okay so change is scary because it feels like you are losing a part of yourself and keyword there is feels you are not losing a part of yourself if anything you are gaining a new part of yourself so it's not this whole like oh my god change i'm literally cutting off a limb and i'm gonna go the rest of my life without that limb like no no no it's almost as if you're just gaining an extra limb when it comes to change which sounds gross but like it's that's how it works it feels scary

because the unknown is scary but if you trust in yourself and you believe in yourself and you sit down and you talk to yourself and you're like listen I have been able to get myself to this point i have stood by myself i have trusted myself or maybe i haven't trusted myself in the past but i do now then i can get through anything the future brings me that in itself is what is going to be able to propel you into this next chapter without fear and also there's going to be fear you cannot escape the fear because unknown of course is going to be a little scary a little fearful but there's no escaping that and if you stay in the same place that you are if you stay in the same routines, same circle that you are unhappy in, there's not going to be this all of

a sudden change in the same routine in which you are going to become happier or more fulfilled or more, you know, just comfortable. If you're continuing the same routines that you are uncomfortable in, there's not going to be all of a sudden some sort of new outcome. It's going to be the same one so you have to enact change you have to enact growth and sometimes when I'm feeling a little fearful or I don't know what to do I just kind of force myself into it it's like when people go bungee jumping or skydiving and it's like okay you get to the count of three and then you're jumping like there is no second guessing you don't stay in that airplane you don't stay on top of that bridge that you're bungee jumping off of it is one two three go and sometimes that's how life

is you just have to head first dive into it trust that you can get yourself through it understand that sure it might be hard but at the end of the day you're going to learn something new about yourself you're going to grow you're going to change you're going to develop and by sticking by yourself and trusting yourself and you know jumping into this head first by trusting yourself you are ultimately going to better yourself and you're going to become a better person you're going to have new outlooks on life and you're going to feel 10 times better at the end of the day so change can be scary yes it is inherently scary but you cannot let fear hold you back when it comes to your apartment lease now if it's a good place you're comfortable cheap rent like

listen we gotta talk practicals in life then sure stay there but also if you're like itching to escape and you want to change up your scenery your scenario you want to you know have a new outlook on life you kind of want to change up your space i feel like space is very important for me personally my space is very fucking important i love my apartment how it is right now but i know that i'm growing and changing and i need more space specifically i'm looking for houses with multiple bedrooms because one of those bedrooms is literally literally going to be a walk-in closet i have way too many clothes i need like a whole room for my clothes but like that's something I'm thinking about and I'm dreaming about and I'm planning for and I'm getting excited

for so maybe you do need to switch it up maybe you need to change it a little bit for yourself and it doesn't have to be so scary you can do some planning you can do some thinking and make it work out for you okay I love you don't let yourself live in fear and dive into it okay you be surprised how much fun you're gonna have oh someone asked allowing yourself to sit with emotions I think this is really important I saw a tiktok video the other day which I'm trying to But like I said, escaped from TikTok a little bit. I've been on it a little bit. But I saw this video and it was this girl just being like, I'm fine.

Like, I'm okay. Like, everything will be okay. But she's like on the verge of tears. And I just wanted to look at my phone screen and scream. Like, let it out. Let it go, girl. Oh my god, just let it out. You have to, when you are feeling those emotions, you have to let them out.

you have to let them go because if you hold on to them negative things are going to happen and then you're going to have like a spiral when I was younger I used to kind of be afraid of my emotions afraid of feeling them and also like I was raised that my emotions I was not raised to be in touch with my emotions whatsoever I was raised to push my emotions down move on keep persevering which like not super healthy you can keep persevering while also feeling your emotions and processing them in a healthy way. But that's just how I was taught. So that's what I was rolling with. So I would get to these points where it was like, I would have something that made me mad or made me upset or made me angry, made me sad. And instead of feeling those emotions and allowing them to

flow through me and out of me, I would just be like, no, no, I can't deal with this. I got to push it down and move on. And then fast forward after like maybe five or six of these situations have happened and I haven't let myself feel these things then something small and menial and really tiny would happen such as like oh my god I dropped my fork or oh my god this piece of paper ripped and I would have a full-blown mentee bee full-blown spiral like crying screaming rolling on the floor and I along with the people around me such as my parents would be like why is she losing it like why over this it is not that serious what is going on and you're right it's not that serious that one thing was not that serious but it was the breaking point to allow myself to finally feel and release

the emotions I had been pushing down from those previous experiences that is not healthy whatsoever and I've been so many of those situations where it's like boom full-blown just like crying screaming kicking my fucking feet up in the air over something very small and the thing is it's not that small thing that was bothering me it was the fact that I didn't sit by myself and allow myself to feel those emotions in the moment previously and now my body's overwhelmed my brain is overwhelmed and I have to let it out and I have to let it out now right now right then and there I have to get it out it's like almost like filling up with water filling a cup up with water and it's overflowing there's no stopping it you can't chug the water down your stomach's gonna

to fill up eventually like you have to just let it flow out so if you're a little proactive and you sit with yourself in those moments previously or as they happen even if they're small or they're big or whatever and you let yourself just feel them whether it's feeling them as in like i'm going to cry my eyes out for a good hour in the shower and then i'm gonna emerge do a little skincare routine and feel better because I let myself feel them and let them go and be a little upset for a second or it's like holy shit I'm pissed off and I need to go on a big fucking rant and I'm just gonna let myself rant and be mad and pissed off for a second because sometimes you just gotta get it out sometimes you just gotta feel it and let it go because afterwards you will

feel 10 times better apologies for the sirens it's a busy block over here today I don't know what's going on um but if you let yourself feel those things you will feel 10 times better down the road and you will have less of those mental spirals as i like to call them because i have had many of those and i didn't realize it was because i was just pushing my emotions away when in turn i really needed to be sitting and feeling them and feeling them fully and i feel like we think bad emotions are scary and inherently bad or negative emotions i should say are bad and so we push them down as if we shouldn't be feeling them or we don't want to feel them because we're feel fearful and I get that it's scary it's scary to be upset or angry or mad but sometimes you have

to let yourself go there you have to let yourself feel those things in order to move past them if you don't let yourself feel those things you don't let yourself you know get in touch with those feelings then you will never be able to have a grasp on them and you'll never be able to move on so let yourself scream cry kick you know go for a run let it out it's okay to do so i am giving you permission i love you hi hannah first of all love you so much or whatever anyways back to me um how the fuck do you know like if you like somebody like if you're ready to date that person like how do you know because like my situation right now like there's like a few two different guys you know one's not putting in enough effort the other one really likes me but

I don't know like if I like him like that and I'm scared that like putting anything in will make him like fall in love with me because I've been in that situation before many times actually where somebody likes me a lot but I don't like them and I can't figure it out and I feel like I end up hurting them and I don't want to hurt anybody but I'm also trying to like get boot up like so how the fuck do you know your feelings and how do you know if it's right please thank you so much love you oh baby when i'm in love it's overwhelming like it is a feeling that you cannot escape it is a feeling you cannot run from you just know you know in your gut okay but that feeling of like wanting to give love and receive love and you want to be next to them you can't stop thinking about

them and it's like overwhelming because that's how crushes are they are overwhelming because that love and that dopamine is so intense that feeling is way different than you just receiving attention completely different okay relationships need to be a give and a take that feeling that you feel for somebody when you're fully deeply in love needs to be reciprocated and that person has to be reciprocating those feelings towards you while also you have to be reciprocating those feelings towards them the situations you gave me I don't think you're in love I don't think you should date any of the people that you just talked about seems like someone's giving you attention and you like the attention but it seems like another situation you're gonna get yourself into

where you're like oh you know like I just jumped into it because he liked me no that's not love that's taking advantage of somebody um which like I get we've all been there it's fun to be loved but you know learn from the past maybe don't hurt another person in the process but when you feel that overwhelming like I need this person I am in love with them and you know that love feeling before you even want to call it the love feeling it's like an infatuation or a crush as some of us like to call it I love a good crush um but you know and it sounds like you just aren't there and you can't rush getting booed up because then you're gonna get stuck in a situation that you are uncomfortable in maybe stuck in feeling lesser than in or feeling like you can't give your all

in and that's no fun so protect yourself before you get hurt or before you hurt someone else and just trust and understand that maybe you aren't there yet and give yourself some more time but the fact that you have multiple people i'm gonna say you're not there you're not in love because when you're in love it's like no i do not want anybody else i can't even think about anybody else like if i think about anybody else it's like oh no i it just it's not right i need that one person so oh someone said i feel so pretty without makeup but i just can't leave the house without it even when i really wanna makeup is a dangerous game so are instagram filters but key number one instagram filters just don't use them don't use them it's gonna warp your perception of reality

it's not worth it unless it's like a fun little sticker or like a fun rainbow whatever and that's cool that's fun that's funky it's fresh but if it's like those makeup crazy filters where it's literally changing your bone structure for the sake of your own sanity do not use them okay just don't save yourself the mental damage it's going to do and just understand it's not going to be good for you number two makeup makeup is not like instagram filters i think it's fun i think it's artistic i think you can play around with it but i have been there where it's like i'm waking up at 8 a.m to glue fake lashes onto my face because i cannot even imagine myself without them i feel like I'm ugly without them I feel like I have to have them on which is a slippery slope to fall

into I went like a year of my life doing that waking up 8 a.m glue fake lashes on like I had no lashes because of the glue from them ripping out like it was a hot mess and I felt confused because I used to feel so comfortable in my regular natural face and I could go with my regular natural face anywhere like I had no second thoughts about it but after I started conditioning myself to view myself one way whether it was like purposefully conditioning or just like you know this is how I'm used to seeing myself and it feels weird seeing myself without it I felt inclined to participate in that behavior of like I have to have this I have to look this way if I don't I look weird and it started fucking with my brain because I was realizing I was in

this cycle of like I want to be able to look natural but I couldn't bring myself to allow myself to and that started to scare me and then I threw all my fake lashes away and I just went cold turkey and I it took some time which is kind of fucked up but I had to literally retrain my brain to get used to my natural face and to love it so if I were you and I was having some hard time just leaving the house without makeup challenge yourself okay just challenge yourself go barefaced one day the first day is going to be scary sure but then the second day gets a little easier and the third day gets very easy and then by the end of the week you're not even thinking about it you have to get used to seeing your natural face constantly or else it's going to

surprise you but now it's like the opposite and whenever I put on makeup that's the surprise which is how it should be you know what I mean it's like oh I look done up I look fun I look funky I look fresh I look cute I love that instead of the opposite which was oh my god I have no makeup on and I look ugly so sometimes you got to realize you're in a negative pattern and really take steps to um step in and reverse the cycle almost so challenge yourself leave the house a few times it's gonna be nerve-wracking it's gonna be a little scary but I guarantee no one's judging you okay half of the world is out there without more than half is out there without makeup on and your natural face is beautiful and wonderful and lovely so just send it you know try I promise

it'll work someone said uh broke up with boyfriend of two years for being transphobic I'm actually devastated yeah it sucks that people are very good at hiding themselves until further into the relationship and it sucks being like whoa where did this come from but some people are really fucking good at manipulating and hiding themselves which sucks for them because they will never know true love and they will never know true connection because they are never representing themselves truly to the people around them they always have ulterior motives which is fucked up and scary um and generally just sad because they will never have a true human connection because there are always ulterior motives um but that's that on their part on your

part i get it it sucks to lose somebody but at least they showed you your true colors two years in and not 15 years in um two years yeah i get it it's a lot but in the span of your life it's really not that long um and i'm proud of you for holding on to your moral values and understanding that this isn't right for you you don't appreciate their perspective and they are not somebody you want to have around you and standing up for yourself and removing yourself from that situation that is boss bitch shit okay i remember with my ex having a conversation and i was like so who are you voting for and he goes well i'm not voting for anybody keep in mind this is like the trump versus hillary era and i was like what what do you mean you're not voting are you fucking stupid

which yeah he was but he goes actually you know what if you want me to vote I'm gonna vote for Trump and right then and there the love died died because I was like we do not share the same moral values whatsoever and I feel like when when you are first connecting with somebody and first getting to know somebody and if you are trying to see if they are the right person for you you guys need to connect on moral values and how you view the world first of all because if you do not connect on those things it is going to be a issue further down the road or it's going to be a constant problem that is constantly being brought up you have to be on the same page i feel like people when they are first starting dating it's like well what can you bring to me what what are

you doing for me but like who gives a fuck about that how do you see the world how do you view people? How do you treat people? What are your moral values? Where do you stand? That is what's important to me and that's what should be important to you. So I'm glad that you kind of had that realization and realized this isn't right for you and you removed yourself. Love that. Round of applause. Love you. Hey Hannah, I just wanted to come on here and ask for some advice. I love you and I love this podcast and it's gotten me through so much so thank you. So upon reflection, I've noticed recently that like in a lot of my relationships or not relationships just like situations in my love life like I have kind of a really hard time setting and respecting my

boundaries because I'm super impulsive and like I kind of act on things in the moment without thinking about it later and then like later and also I'm I'm like a little bit of a people pleaser I think and I feel like that kind of sinks into that area of my life which is not good and um yeah so yeah any tips on like respecting my boundaries and setting them especially when it comes to being with guys romantically thank you love you I honestly love this question I feel like impulsivity can be good and bad um on the flip side there is like impulsivity can be fun and amazing and a lot of my favorite experiences have come out of it whether it's like a friend inviting me out or a random road trip or randomly you know hanging out

with somebody or you know anything like that impulsivity can be good and it's good to step out of your comfort zone every once in a while but when it is good it's because your gut feeling is kind of teetering it's like no i'm a little scared but then also a part of you is like nobody it could be really fun and I'm very excited and we should we should try this and when you're feeling that sometimes it's fun to step into the impulsivity and try something new and challenge yourself but on the other side of impulsivity is you know your gut isn't doing that back and forth wishy-washy feeling your gut is being like no no this isn't right I don't want to do this I'm not feeling it tonight's not the night i don't really want to go out whatever it is um and in that

situation as a reformed people or people pleaser you have to say no and also as a reformed people pleaser saying no is addicting it's so addicting oh my god after i first said no i felt like a two-year-old when they first learned the word no and it's like the only thing they say what's your name no uh what do you want to do no do you want to go outside no do you want candy no no no no it's it's addicting because you've never said it before and finally you have the guts and the courage to stand by yourself and listen to those boundaries and really just speak up for yourself and after the first time whether you say it and then you get a good reaction or a bad reaction you learn that all of those are just reactions but you sticking by yourself and listening to

yourself and standing by that boundary that's where the true power comes from you cannot give a fuck about how other people are going to react because you cannot even guess how they're going to react however they want to react however they want to feel is something that they have to sit with process and understand you said no that's the only thing you have to sit with and process and understand how they feel after that does literally does not matter okay because you stood by your boundary you expressed how you felt and that is the end of story okay that's all you have to really rely on anything outside of that whether it's like oh my god but is he mad at me or is she mad at me or did i hurt their feelings who gives a fuck are you really going to put yourself aside

and how you really feel to make somebody else feel good i mean yeah i've been there before but it doesn't feel good it's not good it's you feel like you're like stabbing yourself in the back in some sort of way so practice saying no and also I really encourage if you're the kind of person who's like has a hard time with boundaries or even understanding where their boundaries lay and I feel like that's a lot or that's where a lot of impulsivity comes from for me personally when I was younger is I just didn't know my boundaries I didn't know how I felt I didn't know what I wanted to do or how I felt about things so I was just like sure whatever I'm just gonna ignore this feeling um so take time to sit with yourself and ask yourself like no like what are

my boundaries or how do I feel about this thing or how do I want this to go or where are my limits take time to really sit and ask yourself these questions and think through it so when the moment arrives you don't have that kind of oh I don't I don't know what to do here it's a no I know where I stand I gotta build up the courage to speak up for myself say how I feel stand by it which in turn is probably going to make the other person feel some type of way but who gives a fuck because I feel good because I stood up for myself and now I feel more trusting myself and now I feel closer to myself and more bonded so take time to really think about your boundaries and where they stand and also take time to just say no okay there will be no repercussions because

the repercussions don't matter of course keep yourself safe if you feel unsafe leave immediately if you're in a situation where you feel like it is not a good situation for you to be in get up and go call an uber immediately you don't have to tell anybody where you're going you can just leave situations immediately that's like my favorite fucking thing to do even if it's a good situation if i'm tired i'm out of there like i don't give a fuck i'll say goodbye to you in the morning or whatever i'll text you that i made at home but when it comes to saying no there's so much power in it you have to give yourself the opportunity to be powerful someone said flirting with the plug

oh girl i think we've all been there i think we've all been there because one thing about men who sell in general is if you throw a little smile their way they're throwing you an ace like just like a smile like i'm not saying go sleep with your dealer for free weed that's just crazy like please don't do that unless you guys are like romantically involved and hey i'm not judging no one because all all of the people i've been romantically entwined with have been my plug at one point in time what can i say i like a bad boy i can't help myself okay it's like good dick plus he rolls up for you afterwards what's better than that literally one of my boyfriends he didn't even smoke he went out and bought weed only for me and came back

just so we could hang out just so he could be like hey i got something and then i'd be like okay i'm gonna come over and pick up and then yeah so i'm not even sure how to answer this do i recommend it no because I've gotten myself in many a sketchy situations because of this because plugs are inherently slightly sketchy but once again I can't help myself I love a bad boy we're all flawed we're all imperfect but yeah definitely definitely been there before definitely been there before someone asked uh how to deal with fake fake friendships slash people who only want to know your life to spread it i feel like you gotta cut those people out because you're constantly going to be performing you're constantly going to be on this idea that you have to perform for them

or you have to behave a certain way or you're living on edge or afraid to say something or afraid to act a certain way because you are afraid of the repercussions quote-unquote aka what they're going to go around and spread about you and say about you and that is not healthy whatsoever for you or the other person so you really just have to cut those people out very fucking quickly and it sucks having to be the performer sometimes it sucks living in a society where it's like some people really don't give a fuck about you and some people really don't like you and they want you to behave a certain way and act a certain way and if you do not behave or act a certain way they're not going to accept you and for a while there especially as a people pleaser i was trying

my fucking hardest to change myself or perform to a certain level in order to appease these people or to have them stop talking about me behind my back or to have them you know become my real friends and I had to perform and put on a facade and change myself and you know behave this way and behave that way and oh my god it is so fucking exhausting and it will get you nowhere because a you're either going to perform to a level that is acceptable by them and you will feel you know backstabbed by yourself or you'll feel shameful about yourself and you'll ruin that relationship with yourself because you do not feel free or open to be yourself or b which is the most common option is you will never be able to perform to a level that will satisfy them ever and you will

constantly be chasing their approval chasing their you know the feeling of being needed by them or feeling appreciated by them which is a slippery slope to fall into especially if you're a people pleaser and let me just rip the band-aid off for you right now it's never going to happen you're never going to appease them and appease yourself at the same time if they are a person who you have to perform for stop the performance seek the people in your life that you do not have to perform for who you do not have to put a fucking mask on for that you don't have to dress a certain way or act a certain way or behave a certain way for sorry i got the hiccups i just smoked but like also sometimes when you smoke and swallow it's like i just swallowed air and smoke and now i

have like smoke hiccups it's fucking crazy anyways stop performing the performance is going to be a brutal ugly cycle okay and it's only going to hurt yourself and hurt your connection with other people if you're having to perform for them you're never going to be able to have a true connection with them because they're never going to accept you for who you are ever and that sucks and it sucks that that person can't accept you or see you for who they are and it sucks that they have these ideas and things in their head of how you should behave and they feel the need to manipulate you into doing those things but save yourself the time and the effort and energy and just remove them completely and distance yourself and find people who are going to accept you and love you

fully for who you are for the crazy messed up fucked up fun wild person that you are okay because those are the people that are worth building those connections with but if you waste your time running in circles trying to appease people trying to perform in a way that is going to make them like you you're going to constantly be searching for their appreciation your entire life you will never receive it and even if you do put on a good performance those people who are overly critical and want you to behave in a certain way will always find something to be upset with so it is not worth it whatsoever cut your ties free yourself find people who are worth building real connections with because those people are going to be connections that you have throughout

your life and feel uplifted by and feel loved by and then that in a term becomes like true love true family and it's a beautiful experience to have so just cut those ties stop performing okay I get it performance is like a need in a sort of sense and we feel inclined to do it because we live in a society where it's like yeah I gotta go to work and I gotta perform or there's certain social situations that I gotta show up in a certain way or like around family it's like uh but when it comes to friends and people that you actively choose to have in your life and yes you do have a choice in who you bring into your life don't perform okay and if they can't accept you for who you are and you do show your true self and show your true colors and they are hyperly

critical or overly negative to you about it cut them cut them off immediately it is not worth it someone asked any new depressive episode tips just slipped into one vibes been there many a times for long periods of time sending you love um yeah i actually do have a few tips a i feel like the conversation we had earlier about feeling your emotions whether they're ugly or negative is important you got to let yourself feel them you got to let yourself um just like let it out you know if you need to fucking cry and scream and yell feel those emotions but also allow them to pass very important thing here if you need a day if you need a few days if you need a week take the time that you need to focus on yourself whether it's like i can't see friends or family

right now because i really need to focus on myself or maybe we need to call it a work whatever it is take the time to prioritize yourself because it will pay off number two i talked about this on my um patreon it was just like a um functional depression list i don't know if I talked about it here yet but essentially pre-depression or maybe mid-depression if you need some some hyping up to do or some getting right getting on the right path um come up with a functional depression list where basically it is a schedule of what you should follow throughout a day in order to be functional so for me it's like okay I wake up I do the dishes from last night because listen the night before I don't have time to do them I'm usually in a spiral

wake up do my dishes if I can and it's going to look different for everybody it has to has to fit your routine but here's my example dishes chug some water make sure I'm fed focus on work or maybe it's school if it's yours make sure I'm fed again make sure I go back to work do some more schooling whatever it is and then I take a time at the end of the day to feed myself journal shower pick up my apartment very minimal list of what you need to do but it includes the things that you still need to do to function as a human being because I feel like sometimes I fall into depressive episodes and I lose all track of time or who I am or any motivation because I don't have it literally written out in front of me if I have it written out in front of me and I have a list

that I can check off and follow it makes it a lot easier and if I stick to that routine pre-depressive episode it makes it way easier to stick to it mid-depressive episode and also keep it simple don't make it too complicated don't be like I need to do yoga and then this and then run this errand it's like no when you're depressed it's even hard to leave the bed so make sure you're being fed make sure you are slightly picking things up make sure you are showering and make sure you're getting to work or school whatever you need to do to be a functional human being in society but I feel like that's very very helpful especially when you hit depressive episodes and you just like lose all track of who you are and number three be patient with yourself I feel like

when I get in depressive episodes I'm like why why I just want to get this over with I just want to move on and it's like I don't give my time to really I don't give myself time to really think about what spiraled me here or I don't give myself time to really process how I got here or why I'm feeling this way or like ease myself into it so I can ease myself out of it but focus on that and also kind of propel yourself forward through something that motivates you whether it's creativity whether it's art whether it's reaching out to people whether it's taking a hot bath or a hot shower because you haven't done that in a while take small steps to move forward while also reaching inside and asking yourself what do i need and then showing up for yourself in that way

i hope this helps i feel you depressive episode girlies they get better with time the more you kind of experience them the more you know how to handle them the more tips and tricks you can really think of but these are my top ones for now um luckily I've been doing good after my family vacation I hit a little whoop hit a little a little spiral there for a second but I took time to really ask myself where this is coming from why I'm feeling this way I did some journaling just to kind of get it all out of my head cleaned up my place did some art took a hot bath after a few days felt better also cried love crying i love crying i used to think crying was weak i think i used to think crying was a sign that i was like a pussy or oh my god why you cry no i

love crying let it out i love that we have a physical reaction to how we're feeling whether it's laughing or sobbing i love that we physically sometimes get so overwhelmed with emotion that our body can't handle it and we have to let it out i think that's beautiful so let yourself scream and cry and roll on the on the bathroom floor if you need to and yeah hey Hannah um I just wanted to say sorry I'm a little high right now I um went to a new smoke shop by my house that my friend had mentioned and I bought like um a little dab dab cart thing I know you hate carts but uh I live with my parents so i'm actually not allowed to smoke in the house so yeah anyways and it's winter it's literally snowing i'm at the gym yes i smoked some bud with my friends on saturday night

and we proceeded to run around target act like maniacs and it was so fun smoked out of a pipe though my bong is coming in the mail from canna style i bought the mushroom one and i also bought a virgo grinder i love you so much bye bye slay i love some of some of my favorite call-ins are people just being like hey girly love you i'm super fucking high here's what's been up with my life because like i talk a lot about myself but also i love love love love hearing from you guys i love hearing what you're up to i love hearing what the girlies are getting into i want to do a confessionals episode maybe next week because I feel like with the summer coming up we got to get a little bit off our chests a little bit off our minds and enter with a new perspective

but I love hearing you guys call in and hearing about your silly little lives and I love that you know that I hate cards that's just so funny honestly listen I get it when I was around my parents on family vacation I was ripping that cart ripping it so I hear you and I understand and you and I'm sending peace and love glad that you're at the gym smoking with the gym is like the best thing ever I'm trying to get out and run a little bit more or like um do some more walking and listen to propel myself into an exercise yeah I'm gonna need some weed I cannot lie I cannot tell a lie I love a little bit of weed before I go exercise but I love you I'm glad you're doing well thanks for filling me in love ya someone asked how do I start feeling better in the healing

process or when do I actually start feeling better in the healing process and I feel like this is a great question because the healing process kind of sucks in a way where it's like you want to do one thing and then feel better immediately after you want that like serotonin boost immediately after and unfortunately that's just not how it works I mean some things that you can do in the healing process such as like maybe going out with your friends or hanging out with a new friend or um you know opening your horizons in that sort of way getting out of your house like yeah that can provide an instant serotonin boost or like working out but a lot of them such as eating healthy or sometimes working out or uh journaling or forcing yourself to shower

things like that making making yourself clean your apartment is not going to give you instant and serotonin and there's not gonna be a direct payoff immediately so it feels like it's not working but the more you do it and the more you continue it and the more you just keep it going keep it rolling it's like this sudden switch where you're like oh i'm good and it sucks that the healing process is kind of that way where it's like an uphill fucking battle until you're at the top and you're like oh I can see the entire ocean from this view wow why was that so hard just to get here but it really is just you sticking by yourself following those routines and things that make you feel good and make you feel happy and you know are going to pay off and trusting that

standing by your side and doing these things are going to pay off because they are they are I pinky promise I swear to god but it really is just a uphill battle until you get there and when you get there it is it's all of a sudden it's like whoa oh my god I've reached the summit I've reached the peak and everything's fine and dandy now if you do need those like short little serotonin boosts in order to get you to the top of that hill I do recommend things that are going to provide you serotonin such as maybe like going out with your friends if you haven't been out in a while or hanging out with a new person that you maybe haven't seen in a while um trying a new food that you've never tried before um indulging in a new self-care activity um working out going for a

short little run or a small workout something to provide you a little bit of adrenaline a little bit of a that dopamine rush those will inherently trigger your brain to be like okay i'm on the right path but the little things that don't trigger it just because it's not triggering a serotonin response in your brain and we're just so used to that within our lives such as like online shopping or constantly scrolling on tiktok or seeing scary things inducing our anxiety just because you don't get that immediately immediate feeling afterwards doesn't mean it's not working and doesn't mean you should give up does that make sense power through keep working once you reach the summit everything will be good i pinky promise but i guarantee it'll also happen faster

than you really think it's gonna take like it doesn't take months it doesn't take years I mean sometimes there are big things it does but if it's like a depressive episode maybe that's what you're working for working through working through healing or like a breakup really enacting small things into your life is going to work and all of a sudden you're going to be looking back and being like oh wow that I've made it we're all good we really have made it and it's going to happen way faster than you think as long as you stick by the things that make you feel good someone asked low sex drive and how to keep the spark in a relationship whether in a new relationship and you're a little fearful of this or you're in a current relationship you know that eventually

the quote-unquote spark it'll fizzle out a little bit and that's normal listen the honeymoon phase isn't gonna last forever i was just joking about this with my boyfriend where we were just like getting in the shower and I was like oh my god TMI but he has this giant mirror in his bathroom and I was like remember when we used to just like stand here and just like fucking look in the in the mirror for hours actually we do anal a lot in the mirror but I remember we used to be young and crazy like I used to have like a bruise on my fucking pussy because we used to fuck so much and the thing is like yeah that will last a little bit and we had a little laugh over it but that's not like a sustainable way of behaving within a relationship and yeah you get comfortable you get

used to it you're used to having other people the other person there you know your sex drive gets a little low because you know the world starts to interfere with your relationship and with it with yourself and that's okay i'm telling you it's okay i'm telling you it's normal i'm telling you it's healthy as long as there is mutual respect and understanding there and you're still showing up for each other okay that's what keeps the relationship alive comfortability is very important within a relationship you have to be able to trust that person fully and openly all right there shouldn't be like a downward spiral in the relationship it should be just like kind of a plateau it should go up up up up and then plateau and with like small peaks here

and there and the small peaks which i think are the spark you are curious and kind of bringing back in the relationship is simply each person trying relationships are all about trying you have to constantly show up for that person they're hard they are work if you don't want to put work into another person in yourself then a relationship is probably not ready for you okay it's not just gonna be like oh i do nothing and i get everything in return it's like no you have to give 50 the other person has to give 50 or maybe you have to give 80 today and the other person gives 30 or the other person gives 90 90 today and you give 10 but it is a constant back and forth cycle and you guys have to work together so if you want to bring the spark back initiate okay show them you

care about them show up for them even like asking like hey can you plan a date or hey i would love to do this whatever it is you have to kind of show them that you are giving them the same energy you were in the beginning and hopefully they'll kind of take the hint and do the same but if it's a good relationship you should naturally want to give and take okay you should naturally want to constantly give to your partner and if you find that your partner is like not wanting to give to you or not wanting to show up for you maybe they just can't handle a relationship right now maybe they just can't be what you need right now and that's a-okay but you have to learn and ask yourself like is this relationship good for me right now or should I kind of you know walk away

a little bit now show up for your partner that's your spark taking people out on dates okay like um I me and my partner write each other little love notes every once in a while and it's so nice to being able to wake up next to a little love note every morning you know how we keep our spark alive every morning before he goes to work he will wake me up literally like barely wake me up but he'll be like bye I love you and give me a kiss every morning he does not miss a day because we spend every night together but he will say goodbye to me every morning it really is not the grand gestures anymore it's the little things that they stay continuously with that keeps that spark alive that makes me love them okay and me maybe like cooking dinner for my boyfriend all the time

or you know driving out to support him or showing up for him in ways or you know planning little dates that's the spark that's what keeps the relationship alive showing up for each other that's what's important okay now when it comes to low sex drive i get it like i'm not in the mood as much as I used to be just because like like I said life gets in the way sometimes and that's a-okay that is perfectly fine but I feel like when one person's sex drive is lower than the other the other person sometimes feels like you're rejecting them in a sort of way or you're not into them so if you are the partner with a lower sex drive maybe just reach out to your partner and be like hey um my sex drive is a little low you can literally say that like they shouldn't

judge you for that just be like hey you know life's been a little crazy I don't want you to feel like I'm rejecting you so why don't you just wait until I initiate you know instead of them initiating and then you being like no and them initiating you'd be like I'm not in the mood or them initiating and you being like not today you know I get how it can be like well then I'm not gonna initiate ever again so if you're the person with the lower sex drive take control you be the one to initiate you be the one to be like okay i really only want to have sex this many days a week i am going to be and the one to initiate when i'm comfortable and then one partner doesn't feel rejected and the other partner doesn't feel bad for constantly having to turn their partner

down you are now in control when you want to have sex you can just initiate and you have to be comfortable initiating okay you cannot just you cannot be the one to be wanted constantly in the relationship you also have to want your partner it's got to be equal like i said and if you feel like it's not equal maybe initiate more often or whenever you're in the mood i feel like for me personally it's like if i'm in the mood it's like go for it you better jump on that fucking dick okay because time is gonna pass and then i'm gonna be like i'm good you know if i'm feeling it it's like okay we're going for it like sometimes in the middle of the night i'll be like shaking my boyfriend awake i'll be like get up but whatever works for you work together talk to your partner

be communicative i guarantee it'll work out but also if you feel like your partner is not showing up for you the way you need to sometimes it's best to move on speaking of anal someone said first time anal tips um find a partner you trust and will listen to you because you need to be in control if you're receiving I feel like you need to be in control and then as soon as you get warmed up into it you're gonna want to lose control a little bit because it feels good um and it does feel good I feel like a lot of people have this idea about anal that it's like no it's bad it's gonna hurt it's awful it's horrible and it's like I've been in a position where like yes all those things are true but I was also with a person who was peer pressuring me into it I was not ready we

were not adequately prepared and yeah that can make a very bad time so take time to really think about it make sure you're with the right person make sure you have the right tools make sure you're in the right environment make sure you're comfortable key things first of all if you're afraid of shit like poop isn't gonna fly out of your asshole like i guarantee it's probably going to be a lot cleaner than you think as long as you took a healthy a healthy shit in the morning okay if it's solid and you tmi welcome to the smoke sesh i we we have fun here okay um as long as you took a good one in the morning and you're feeling clean and cleared out you're probably gonna be okay you can do a little enema if you need to or like completely wash out but i feel like most of

the time you will be okay and also if you're afraid of a little bit of oops a little bit of something a little bit of brown okay then you should not be doing anal and you're probably a little bit immature because one time one time like I said in front of the bathroom mirror me and my boyfriend used to do this a lot one time he just like pulled out of me and of course like there's there's cum inside there and it like it just dropped out of me onto the bathroom floor like the cum and it was a little brownish and this is what i mean by you need to have a mature partner because in that moment i was like i was mortified but he was quick immediately toilet paper wiped it up did not say a thing started the shower we got in i was like love round of applause for this

man but it's like you guys have to be emotionally mature for this i would say start with fingers if you can to get yourself warmed up use a lot of lube if you can invest in a butt plug before trying anal just to see if you like it I very much so recommend that I really recommend a vibrating one too because that shit's wild it will provide pleasure for both you and him and then start slow when it comes to anal like your asshole has like two muscles in there so There's the outside sphincter and then there's the inside one. It's like two muscles. So they will, they'll usually push past the first muscle and you have to fully relax.

I like being on my stomach, like the Kim K position, legs together on my stomach, just like relaxed laying there and you have to fully relax those muscles or else it is going to be a little painful because if you're squeezing, it's going to be like pushing through a tight muscle pushing through a tight little hole that's not pleasurable for us okay so really take the time to relax and maybe work those muscles with the fingers or a butt plug before and then slowly let him ease his way in there slowly what i like to do is like reach behind me in that position and like move him how i want to want to be entered does that make sense like i will literally grab their cock and be like okay no i'm going to slowly enter inside me how i want

because i feel like in that position you're so vulnerable and it's also like new it's a new sensation and i'm a control freak and i like to be in control if you want to lose control sure let them do it but i feel like men get excited and they just want to shove the whole dick inside there and it's like no no no no no no no that's too much all at once we are going to go slow and then once you go slow and you work it a little bit and you get a little more used to that feeling then it's just like full-on fucking and yeah have a blast have some fun do not let him put his fingers or his dick anywhere near your asshole and then inside your pussy or near your pussy you will get a uti you will feel it the next day it will not be fun you cannot play in both

close it once it is not safe okay it will fuck up your ph balance so yeah hope this helped love you cheers to all my girlies on their anal journey someone asked what's my favorite cocktail to make uh to make or order it's always a french 75 but to make at home and at my work we make this as well it's my favorite cocktail a french 75 is basically some lemon juice some simple syrup gin saint germain and um well we use saint germain and then you shake it up it's like half ounce half ounce half ounce and then you top it with champagne what i do is i will do lemon juice lychee syrup which you can get any asian market around you saint germain gin or vodka sometimes i like to use vodka instead because gin can be a little bit overpowering and if you don't

like the flavor of gin then i get that i shake it up in a nice little tumbler put it in a coupe glass with champagne on top amazing i'm pretty sure nobu sells that as like a lychee martini um but there's this vodka and gin anyways yeah 10 out of 10 recommend someone asked i'm graduating soon and i have no fucking clue what to do help felt i absolutely felt at least you're graduating and you have a degree under your belt that's very helpful at least you can you know look around and apply that but for me when I dropped out I was literally like aimless like I felt like I was standing in the middle of the desert and I was looking around me and it was just like nothing in sight and I was just like okay two options here I either lay down and die of dehydration

and sun poisoning or I can just like get up and start walking it doesn't matter what direction you walk in as long as you're standing up and you're moving forward you're bound to find something eventually and I feel like as long as you keep that idea and just keep the idea of we just got to keep moving forward no matter what you are bound to figure out what you are going to do period we have so much pressure put on us i'm like finding your life path and figuring out your life path and what are you gonna do and who are you gonna be and what's your career gonna be and oh my god it's so much fucking pressure and you need to number one take that pressure off of you remove that pressure from you take a moment to be like no life is about experience life is

about trying new things life is also about failing in order to succeed at things but it's about experiencing trying persevering and you have a choice in what you want to do so make sure you are choosing things that you want to do so key number one a don't be afraid to try and fail whether it's you going for a new internship or trying out an internship maybe doesn't pay but it's in the realm of what you maybe want to do boom you got some experience under your belt maybe at the end of the internship the little summer internship couple months six months whatever it is you realize this isn't really for me that's okay it's okay to realize that and take a step back and redirect yourself all right but at 18 19 20 21 you are not gonna know what the fuck you

want to do and you need to understand that take a deep breath and allow yourself to not know but not knowing doesn't mean you're not gonna try like standing in the desert you don't know what's over that hill over that little sand dune over there it could be a whole fucking town but if you just stand there and you assume you know and you don't move forward then you're never gonna get there you're never gonna see what's on the other side of that hill but if you allow yourself to move forward keep moving keep persevering you might stumble upon something that is going to change your life ultimately throw you into something that you're super passionate about you do not have to figure out what you want to do I know you're like no no I do

like I need to figure it out I need to have something you know written down I need to have a plan you need to know what drives you what calls to you what makes you want to continue this life what gives you passion what lights a fire under your ass whatever gives you that feeling that's what you're meant to do okay and it's some of them are going to last shorter than others some of them are going to last longer than others some of them are going to be harder than others some of them are going to be easier some of them are going to come out of left field but it's never going to be a situation where you are sitting down and boom god hit you over the head and now you know exactly who you are supposed to be and what you're supposed to do and it sucks that like the school system and

society has put up that way especially with like the whole college thing where it's like no you have to pick a major and that major is who you're gonna be for the rest of your life that is so much pressure and that is so much to put on a young kid whose brain is still fucking developing so allow yourself to not know but try you cannot allow yourself to not try try new things experience new things get yourself out of your comfort zone by trying and trying new things and putting on new hats and trying new outfits and not literally trying new outfits but you know trying a new job on for size or attempting this or attempting that you are going to learn more about yourself you're going to learn more about the world around you and through those things you are going to be able to

make adequate decisions about what you want to do with your kind of life path okay and also what you're doing now might not be what you're doing at 50 so give yourself some leeway to grow and change if you hold on tightly to that one idea you had at 18 you might be miserable at 22 so let yourself feel how you feel develop those feelings naturally listen to your gut and if it's not meant for you move on try something new try something else that's calling to you but if it is meant for you and this is something that brings you passion this is something that you are driven by do not let anybody else around you tell you differently one big important life rule do not ask other people who you are because everybody else has different prerogatives they all have different

motives they all have different ideas about who you are we all have different morals and they're going to project those things onto you so stop looking outward for confirmation for who you are and start looking inward start asking yourself for what you want start asking yourself where do you want to go where do you see yourself what do you want to try and then get out there and do it okay your life path is going to change your life path is going to not always go how you feel it's supposed to go and that's okay life is all about changing and growing and trying new things but the one thing you can really do is stand by yourself and listen to yourself and have the you know motivation and power and willpower to listen to that gut feeling and to try those

things but yeah it is fucked up that at a young age we are just like forced to like basically pick a fucking number out of a hat and be like I guess this is what I'm gonna do for the rest of my life because I feel like so many people feel stuck and miserable after that if you allow yourself time to just like think and try and I think internships are very good for this or little jobs here and there whether it's a job at like a serving place or a job at a retail shop or a personal assistant I did that for a little bit when I thought I wanted to be a psychologist it will show you so much about the world without having to fully like commit yourself to it or at least that world that you're wanting to enter it will show you a lot about that without you having

to be like i am going to give 80 years of my life to this no give yourself three months okay give yourself six months to see if you if if the hat fits all right and if it doesn't don't keep wearing the fucking hat try a new hat on there's so many different hats world is one giant hat store okay baby you can try as many hats on as you want and if they don't fit keep it moving all right but we put so much pressure on young people to have it figured out I was on this family vacation it's like everybody wanted to know where I was working or what I was doing or who I was gonna be and it's like I don't really care to share those things with you guys because it feels like some big bragging competition and like that is just kind of fucked up to me when we place so much of an

emphasis on what we can provide to others and what name quote-unquote we're making for ourselves maybe I just want to you know work at a restaurant for the rest of my life meet fun people travel while I can and then grow old and have a little garden or maybe I want to be a family person and maybe I don't want to do something big with my life maybe I just want to have a small family to myself and have a little farm and you know raise things it can be so simple you don't have to do these big complicated things but also if you are feeling inclined to do them listen to that passion dive into that passion you can make your dreams a you can make them a reality I never thought I'd be sitting here talking to a hundred thousand of you guys a fucking week okay that is insane it is

fucking crazy never thought about it i first started this podcast and listen people were like you're doing a podcast podcasting is dead no one likes that what are you doing no one wants to hear from you these are also things i thought you know like why would you even try this why would you start this this is just like so left field like no one does this everybody around me wants you to be a doctor a nurse or they want you to go to fucking fashion school or whatever it is but i knew what I wanted to do and I took a risk and I tried it on for size and I was gonna see if it fit and guess what I've been having a fucking blast these past basically two years I have been having so much fun and it has brought so many more possibilities to my life that I never thought

were imaginable sometimes you have to take a risk sometimes you have to listen to that gut feeling sometimes you have to really truly ask yourself what do you want and go after it and you can make anything a possibility it's how bad do you want it and do you want it is a fantastic question to ask yourself because i found myself in so many positions where it was like do i really want this do i want to be here do i want this to be a part of my life and usually the answer was no and sometimes you have to find the courage to truly listen to your gut not give a fuck about what other people think or what that crazy demon in your head is telling you and to take a risk and to trust yourself trusting yourself will pay off more than playing it safe one million percent i

love you you will be amazing you will absolutely make something out of your life whether it is big and bold and beautiful and brilliant or small and beautiful in that sort of way and compassionate and fulfilling it doesn't matter we all have different callings to life we all can't place judgment on each other we all should follow our guts and if you do so i guarantee you will be able to figure out anything that you possibly want for your life path but you don't have to have it figured out now listen to what calls to you try new things that's what being young is about experiencing the world around you learning about yourself through that it'll come to you i promise but don't try and force anything on that never feels good i love you guys you will figure it out

i pinky promise maybe try like yeah a little internship a little job take on new new projects whether it's painting or drawing or writing or something you've been called to inclined to sewing maybe even i know i'm leaning more into like creative things maybe you're a more analytical person maybe you want to dive into more research-based opportunities or lab-based opportunities or jobs do it if you feel called to do it nothing's stopping you literally nothing life is all about choices what choices do you want to make today where do you want to put yourself today or in three months you can make it happen i love you guys i love you so much thank you for joining me this has been a very fun episode but i gotta get going i have to go pick my parents dog up from

the groomer um shout out to her love it gonna get outside lay in the sun a little bit smoke some really good weed and yeah i'm gonna have a fantastic tuesday and i really hope you guys do as well if you want to catch up on extras anything else you want to see from me you can find it on the patreon it's linked in my bio of my instagram which also i ask all my questions here on my instagram at hannah marlene if you're curious but i love you all so very much and i will see you all in one week