Smoke Sesh - frontal lobe development, dominatrix & cartdemic
Episode Date: May 6, 2025hello everyone and welcome back to smoke sesh! so excited to be back with you all on this beautiful Tuesday, we have a lot to cover so lets get right into it! we start talking what I've been up to and... getting outside whenever you can, pregnancy scares and being a woman and staying protected, pretty men are the devil, and there's more than being pretty, dating again and how to go about it in pleasure, summer before college story time, losing your virginity and tips and tricks, do you really need a party girl era and how to do it safely, making a life 180, frontal lobe developing, near death experience, road rage, angry men, being assertive and being a bitch, how did I learn to cook, cartademic and giving up carts, sex and emotions, dominatrix and dominating positions, is there such thing as destiny, standing up for the furies and protecting your peace a little too much, hope you all enjoyed and if you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and follow me on instagram to submit your questions every week at hannahmarlene, stay sane stay sexy and ill see you all so soon! MUAH!
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listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people
call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you could call me hannah
the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life
the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all
hello hello hello hotties of the world and welcome back to another beautiful little episode of smoke
sesh my name is hannah your host i did not mean to dress up as a ghost today if you are watching
the video episode if you're an audio listener i'm trying i was going for like boho chic peasant
vibes like it's may let me wear all of my flowy white cutesy let's get the blonde hair down no
makeup who is she yeah unfortunately i am just giving ghosts i am way too pale for this but you
know we're here we're happy we're trying new things out can you blame a girl and yeah today's
going to be just hopefully a fun little silly episode for everybody it is may it's may we made
it oh my god we made it you guys i as a gemini have started defrosting and that includes losing
my mind a little bit a slight bit but from what i have learned especially when it comes to crashing
out and losing your mind is you must clear energetically what is holding you back in order
to move forward into good things so i do welcome a crash out actually i do welcome the chaos you
know before the calm of the storm because i know at the end of it all there is something that you
will learn gather take from that will make you a better individual a better human and may is just
so full of rejuvenated energy and just like this pure energy that harnessing it is just so nice and
so fun and really just sets the tone for the rest of the summer to make it a good time so i hope you
guys are looking forward and utilizing this energy well if you need to have a crash out babe now is
the time to do so you might as well do it when the sun is out and the weather is hot my birthday is
coming up um June 1st everybody mark your calendars June 1st which is so excited I will
be turning 26 and I'll do a big 26th birthday episode I like to do these episodes where I do
like 20 26 things that I learned in 26 years and I have a feeling every birthday honestly the older
I get every birthday I'm like wow this year is gonna be so good which is such a nice feeling
because I was so unstable when I was younger especially mentally I was just like crazy wild
girl will it ever get better it does what's beautiful about getting older is your brain
function you know levels out those hormones level out you understand how to work with the demons
that are screaming constantly in your head and it's not so much of a burden and it actually gives
you time and space to focus on the things that are necessary and needed to grow and to become
like an individual. So I'm so glad that finally I have space to think about those things and that
things are getting more stable and leveling out and the changes that I'm making are ones that I'm
really thinking through and taking time to plan on. It is such a nice change of pace. So if you're
afraid of getting older, if you're afraid of turning 26, I know I've been doing this podcast
since i was 22 don't be do not be life truly only gets better from here and i'm so thankful for my
frontal lobe finally developing genuinely that has been the biggest change in the past two years
that have has made my life just so much better so much better i know i'm getting more stable and a
little bit more you know understanding of myself because usually when my birthday is coming up i'm
like I want this and this like I know exactly what I want I know what I'm looking for but this
birthday this is the first birthday that my boyfriend's like like what do you want what are
you looking for what do you want for your birthday and literally I'm like I have no fucking clue I
have no clue I think I've given myself everything I could possibly want or desire to the point where
there's nothing I really need from anybody I'm like maybe you could pay to get my belly button
pierced i guess that would be cool or like another thing is like maybe i want a fish tank girl what
what are these needs and these ones like so weird where did these come from but also it's like
everything else that i really truly need like journaling supplies art supplies um beauty makeup
activities like i truly have given myself all of those things it's so nice having that
you know developed brain to be able to prioritize your wants and needs and desires and also
balance your financial relationship with money to the point where you are able to build that
dream life for yourself you don't have to wait around on somebody else to get you something
it's like whatever you want you go after so yeah i'm struggling to figure out what i want for my
birthday i kind of do want my belly button pierced but i'm so scared i'm so scared i'm just a scared
little girl you're like bitch you have both nipples pierced I know but I was 18 and I was
crazy back then like I don't go out actively seeking pain anymore thank god it's such a
beautiful day out today though if you're gonna do anything especially this season it's get the
fuck outside get outside okay actually I have one question I want to jump into regarding this but
my cat is standing by the front door staring at me like bitch if you don't let me out on the front
porch right now we're gonna have some problems the issue is i've become a squirrel mother yes
you heard that right i feed the squirrels the squirrels i feed them way too much food they're
fat but they're also pregnant so i feel bad if i don't feed them i'm like they're feeding children
could you imagine being a trash squirrel and you're trying to feed your children off of like
pita bread remnants and old takeout food like yes i will get you delicious nuts and corn and
whatever your heart desires mama you let me know like i'll buy it for you so i've been feeding them
but the issue is them and the cat have a symbiotic relationship to the point where they're not scared
of the cat but the cat is like i need to murder you so when the cat's on the front porch they will
walk up to him as if this is some silly little fun creature to check out and danger is 10 seconds
away from practically leaping over the balcony and getting them. So he's only allowed supervised
time out there and he's a needy boy. He wants to be out there so bad. Maybe I'll do a podcast
episode with the front door open. That'll be interesting. My neighbors are going to be like,
girl, what the fuck is going on? When it comes to taking advantage of the weather, someone asked
tips for staying productive slash focused when it's warm out. And honestly, if I can give any
piece of advice on taking advantage of the weather even when you're working or when you
have chores to do things like that if you can do it outside you should be doing it outside
oh you have a paper to write cool take that macbook outside and go write it in the shade
oh you have laundry to do can we crack a window lift the blinds up and fold some laundry in the
cool spring breeze oh you have calls to take cool go out on your back porch back patio take some
calls call your family whatever it is oh you need to go get groceries boohoo i fucking hate getting
groceries it is the bane of my existence let's drive to the grocery store with all of our windows
down playing the most nostalgic playlist ever every single winter i have the realization of
like fuck i did not take advantage of that beautiful beautiful summer weather as much as i
should have and i regret it every single year so every single year i try and do more and more and
more and i don't want to have that regret this year when it is winter and we have 10 feet of
snow outside i want to be able to be like oh wow remember remember when i really just was soaking
up all the sunshine that i possibly could thank god hannah did that that's the experience i want
a half so ultimately that means that I am doing as much as I can outside on my front porch honestly
at this point I would be filming this podcast outside on my front porch but I'm afraid of
doxing myself so I might not do that I'm probably gonna end up doing a few of these episodes outside
like I want to do a river episode out in the forest somewhere I want to like go sit on my
front porch after filming this and edit it outside with my cat on the front porch enjoying the
sunshine i'm going to go probably to the park as well and go on a walk if i have a spare 10 15
minutes it doesn't have to be anything crazy but we all have this habit of letting life slip by us
and have excuses of well i just had to do this or i didn't wanna or i was too lazy to look up
off my phone i was too lazy to get the fuck up off the couch girl you are going to be 80 on your
deathbed like what the fuck was i doing what the fuck was i doing that spark of life that spice of
life that everybody is searching for so deeply in their tiktok and instagram reels is out there
it ain't on your phone bitch it is out there it's from the small interactions you have with strangers
it's from the little butterfly flying by your face it's from seeing little animals interact
it's baby season out there you're gonna see some baby squirrels baby bunnies that's where the spark
is that's where the drive is and that's where you need to be now more so than ever i just went and
i'm about to buy a pool membership one thing about kansas city they do not fuck with public pools and
yes of course it's based in racism um so no public pools but there is one like over on the kansas
side and like the the suburbs that has memberships i'm probably gonna buy a pool membership because
i know i just need to be outside and i want to go suntan and i want to go be in some water that's
not an option for me really anywhere close but i know that it's an option somewhere and i need to
go seek it out so i have activities to do to be outside for my birthday i think i'm gonna like
rent a pool you can rent people's like private swimming pools in their backyards like i'm gonna
rent a pool and we're gonna just hang outside and enjoy the weather take advantage of it if you have
no joy or passion in life it's probably because you haven't been outside enjoying it and you're
like oh babe i work in an office i can't do you know how many office people i see office people
girl do you know how many like office workers i see take their lunch break and they're just out
wandering around the parking lot just doing laps because they just need to get their steps in and
need to get some sunshine on their face there are options there are always options are you going to
be brave and choose to do them or are you going to stay miserable it really is that simple truly
but yes beautiful day I went to my parents last night and we had our first barbecue of the summer
which was so exciting I want a house so bad just so I can barbecue and like lay in the grass I love
having people over I love cooking for people I love being a host and I feel like with my apartment
it's very difficult to do so I really am searching and seeking that house out but we're staying
patient because i'm not gonna settle for anything i need it to be perfect okay one thing about me
i won't settle until that shit's perfect bitch especially now where i have the patience and
understanding in myself oh not the time to fuck around with me but yeah we had our first barbecue
of the night it was so good my dad's into like smoking meat so we had smoked chicken grilled
corn fresh salad from my mom's uh vegetable garden with spinach from this season baked potatoes girl
real midwestern shit all right we had a campfire going in the back it was so nice and yeah it
reminded me just how important like that those little things are and if you need an instant dose
of dopamine you do not need to schedule that therapist appointment actually i'm just kidding
you probably should but you can also just go stand outside in the sunshine for like five minutes and
it will do wonders my morning routine actually and it's so nice having a creature that depends
on you because my morning routine used to be very selfish and I found myself taking too long in my
morning routine now it's like I'm awake he's aware I'm awake he's two inches away from my face like
bitch get the fuck up the first thing we do is go outside on the front porch he rolls around in the
sunshine I get a little bit of a dose of sunshine on my face and then I go make his breakfast I
don't even make my coffee I go make his breakfast and then last thing I do is make my coffee it is
so nice to a get some sunshine on my face some fresh air first thing in the morning sure check
my phone for two seconds but ultimately first thing I'm really doing is going outside it really
sets the tone for the day and provides me with just like a peace you know it's really nice when
you're mourning the first thing you do is just enjoy what God has given us you know but yeah
that's my rambling on the dopamine that I have felt these past few days with this beautiful
weather thank god um let's get into everything else you guys have on your mind like sex threesomes
virginity road rage car addiction the list goes on someone said I'm so scared I'm pregnant about
to take a test soon pray for me praying for you babe sending out no baby energy for you I have
been through so many pregnancy scares and I don't think they are actual real pregnancy scares like
if we're being honest I think I just have an anxiety condition and can convince myself of
anything if I think hard enough about it anybody else like that like yeah I can make anything
happen including me thinking I'm pregnant no fun no fun at all and in fact actually now I think
about maybe they were real because the only time I really had pregnancy scares was when I was not
on any birth control and that's not anything that I recommend to anyone quite frankly you probably
need to be on something if you're going to be doing anything it is no fun feeling like oh no
what if that is the worst feeling ever so always take more precaution than necessary right now i'm
having a little bit of troubles with my iud not that i'm pregnant or nervous about that
having these weird pains being a woman is just wow thank you but also why am i in pain all the time
you know why why am i constantly in pain i love my iud and ultimately i've had it for like three
years now and I've had no problems but I'm starting to have a little bit of pain and I'm
worried maybe it shifted out of place that's one thing you should always be checking your strings
to make sure that they're in the right place but then also you read online and they're like oh
well if the strings aren't in the right place then it could mean nothing but maybe you should
get an ultrasound just in case luckily now with my IUD it's pretty like solid like very solid I
just it's it's not gonna happen I have steel bars gates shooters in front of my cervix nothing is
getting in there and if it is getting in there it ain't growing that's for sure but especially when
I was on the pill and I mean I barely cared if I lived or died how do you expect me to take a pill
at the same time every single day it just wasn't working out and I did have a lot of pregnancy
scares I remember being in the bathroom of Hy-Vee one time which is like the local grocery store in
the midwest if you don't know and me and my friends were there getting snacks for our munchies
and then also i was buying a pregnancy test but they didn't realize that and i remember we were
using the restroom when i came out and i was like not pregnant and they're like girl what the we
didn't even know this was a thing going on like what is what is happening but if you're gonna
take a pregnancy test my um key recommendation is to always do it with friends you have a little
bit of a distraction while you're waiting for the longest two to three minutes of your life
also birth control is self-care it is like protection as a woman um thank god we have
the option nowadays i could not imagine living in the 1800s and it's like oh no i'm pregnant now
you have no option now you have to have the baby and you're 18 oh my god it was scary and i
understand restrictions are being placed on our bodies every single fucking day death to them so
while we have the choice and the option make sure you are protected make sure you are taking care of
yourself stress your partner out a little bit ask them have they been tested men go through this
world practically stress-free you might as well give them a little bit of stress you know what i
mean they gotta earn that access babe but yeah you're probably not pregnant praying for you that
you're not unless you want to be and then praying for you that you are either way praying that my
iud is in the right place and i'm just having weird period cramps uh being a woman you know
how lovely how beautiful how to stay away from an ex that is objectively a loser but so
fucking pretty listen there's a lot of pretty people out there there's a lot of pretty men
out there and that is probably the least important thing about them honestly i don't give a fuck
about a pretty man and in fact I argue that a pretty man is going to be a difficult partner
I think they're used to the princess treatment you know give the uglies a chance truly I think
you'll be taken care of way better than the man with the septum ring and the skinny mustache and
the tabbies that he waxes religiously as soon as he gets home and not to shame not to male shame
or whatever don't fucking come for me I am not in the mood but yeah a pretty man is genuinely the
least interesting thing about him like sure you're pretty great congratulations how are you taking
care of me how are you taking care of yourself what are your hobbies or interests outside of
you're just being hot but man is taking hundreds of selfies of himself I'm gonna look at him
sideways I think it's important to have self-confidence and to know that you are handsome
hot sexy whatever but that can't be the most interesting thing about you and that goes for
men and women i mean love a pretty woman she can get away with a little bit more for sure at least
in my book but maybe that's just because i like women more but genuinely who cares if he was hot
he did you wrong dirty put you down and that makes him ugly that makes him truly so ugly i know a lot
of men who i met and i thought they were pretty at first and then i got to know them and i was like
oh wow they're actually disgusting ogres oozing nasty repulsive awful horrible human beings you
need to be able to see through the facade and see who they truly are on the inside and if that man
doesn't care if you live or die then he is a certified ugly in my book no matter what he looks
like on the outside help how to handle the overthinking when you start dating again after
an abusive relationship you should be in the business of pleasure i think dating should all
be about pleasure enjoyment what are you looking for a little bit of selfishness i mean once you
start getting serious with somebody date two three four texting every single day that's when you drop
the selfishness I mean naturally you'll want to for the right person you will stop being a little
bit selfish but especially when you're first meeting people and you're first dating I think
you've got to be a little bit selfish especially coming out an abusive relationship where you felt
like maybe you were never put first that's when I encourage you to be as selfish as possible and
also in the pleasure business is that man treating you right doesn't make you feel good no cool dump
him leave him is that man taking you on a date paying for it you know making sure that you're
feeling good eating good taking care of no okay dump them get rid of them and also this is
interchangeable with women too i don't give a fuck about gender they should be treating you well i
mean vice versa duh but especially coming out of an abusive relationship where maybe you gave
too much now i think you should be in the business of trying to figure out how to learn to take a
little bit like this is your world you're allowed to enjoy sit back let someone else plan let someone
else take care of you you're deserving of that and it's gonna be a little scary at first it's
gonna be a little oh do i trust this person do i not let their actions tell you how you should feel
actions are everything people love to talk talk talk talk talk but what are they doing what are
their actions what are they subliminally showing you that's what's really important come up with
those boundaries that are non-negotiable so you know when someone's breaking them so you know when
they're not that person you know you can leave them come up with boundaries for yourself like
weird attachment styles you get maybe to bad people and learn how to read when you're in that
position so then you don't fall back down that rabbit hole and yeah enjoy if you're not having
a good time then you are dating wrong in my opinion if you're like dating sucks this sucks
everybody sucks i'm not having a good time i mean valid the people you're dating probably just suck
but also go out have a good time go enjoy yourself go somewhere that you're gonna enjoy yourself and
i guarantee something will fall into place last summer before college advice oh my god have fun
girl have fun my last summer before college let's see i was drunk and high 24 7 um lost my virginity
and also kind of dated this man for a little bit was out all the time with my friends either at
the pool at someone's house in a car somewhere down in the country driving down those gravel
dirt roads smoking weed like we were outside we were outside if you think about it that is your
last summer to really enjoy the time with the people you are friends with in high school before
you kind of lose that era of life and I'm so glad that I really took full advantage of it because I
had such a fun fucking time such a fun time and it was really the perfect capstone of that whole
high school experience that I had I really lived to the fullest enjoyed to the fullest celebrated
with the people I loved had a good fucking time doing it be careful don't get in trouble for
college but also there's a couple things on your bucket list you're like I want to get done for
college mine being my virginity go for it make that your mission of the summer have a good time
go out party go a little crazy make some mistakes that no one's gonna remember because you're all
going to college in two months and you're gonna make more mistakes there and celebrate okay you
deserve it you just did like a hard fucking thing high school hard difficult a little bit grueling
a little bit mind-boggling mind-numbing but you made it through you graduated now's the time to
celebrate and party a little bit speaking of i guess someone said i'm nervous to lose my virginity
what are some things that you wish someone had told sooner i don't know i feel like i heard a
lot of things and the one thing that i was too focused on was the man when i lost my virginity
when you're losing your virginity your sole focus should truly just be yourself it really should it
really really should you should if you're going to be selfish at any point in time especially
including sex it should be when you're losing your virginity absolutely my issue was i mean
it was with the person that i wanted to do it with but did i have a good time arguably no and
that's because i was way too fucking concerned with what he thought about me was i hot enough
did he like me enough blah blah blah blah blah blah bitch fuck him how do you feel does he make
you feel good does he make you feel loved supported understood do you think he's gonna
dick you down well and also like make sure you have some aftercare afterwards if the answer is
no then he does not deserve to you know be up in that puss for the first time ever for the first
time ever okay okay it's okay to be a little bit picky i guarantee you will lose it eventually
it's not something that you're like i need to get rid of i have to get rid of it like i can't be a
virgin people put way too much emphasis on virginity especially when it comes to women
i think that's weird why are we paying so much attention to women and how much sex they have
no one gives a fuck don't put that pressure on yourself either if it happens naturally it happens
naturally if the right person is just there and you want to go for it go for it but also if you
just find yourself in the position where you're surrounded by losers and you don't want to lose
it to any of them you do not have to arguably you don't have to lose your virginity before college
There is no right time or place. The only right time or place is the one that you feel ultimately
comfortable and supported in. That's what matters. I lost my virginity on top.
Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar
raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer
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when you're ready we're ready with a whole world and more i know i know that should be illegal he
should have done jail time for that truly truly in my heart i feel that way but i was he got me
so high out of my mind that i was just like okay sure whatever also first time i lost my virginity
we did not use condoms ah please if you are young and having sex you need to be using a condom
please my god you girls like i'm begging you protection for yourself is number one i don't
give a fuck if the man's like well i can't feel as much but your dick's inside me be happy
be grateful okay oh it like pains my soul to think about young hannah like that i mean it wasn't as
traumatic as i'm making it out to be i had a good time it was all right i don't think anybody ever
has that like laying in a bed of rose petals like he's combing my hair and eating my pussy and
you know everything works out perfectly like I don't think anybody really has that um first
virginity experience because sex is weird and sex gets a little messy and gets a little awkward
sometimes and that is a very normal integral part of it but I do think you should have a little bit
of standards like I wish I could go back and tell young Hannah like girl no it's okay you can have
some standards for yourself babe you can you can hold these people to a standard like you should
expect some things out of them for sure number one tip when it comes to like doing sexual acts
for the first time is start slow okay if it's like one person that you're vibing with one hangout
like maybe make out you know feel up on each other that's it next hangout maybe you start getting
into some other things touching feeling whatever it is maybe you give a blow job for the first time
maybe get your pussy hit for the first time stop there okay slow burn it out next time build up
that relationship build up that understanding with each other and then maybe work your way to
the virginity that would be in my brain like the perfect flow state because you have built that
trust within each other you've built that understanding within each other that pleasure
okay within each other and I think it'll help you have just a good time together fully absolutely
but yeah I met him he was a mutual friend I met him at a house party and there was this other girl
that was really into him at the time and I remember I walked into the house party I saw him and I had
been snapchatting him for a while and I went up to him and I was like hey me and my friends want to
smoke can we go smoke upstairs and he was like he dropped everything oh yeah absolutely whatever
you want like let's go upstairs and i remember it took me two seconds to walk up to this man and be
like i want to go smoke upstairs you want to come with me and this girl was like watching us the
entire time walk upstairs like mean mugging the fuck out of me i think that was why i was like
yeah he'll work she wants him yeah yeah that'll work but she was evil so fuck it is it strange
to have never really had a party girl phase i kind of want to but i'm not sure no i think that
makes you mentally sane i think the people who get stuck in this party girl phase for too long
or go too crazy or whatever i don't think that's normal i think it's substance abuse like i think
it's just an excuse for me to abuse abuse substances and forget that i'm like a living
individual so no in fact I think it makes you completely sane and normal and congratulations
for that now I mean if you want to have a party girl phase I highly recommend doing so if you feel
like it's something that you naturally want to do and don't get into substances I mean drinking
here and there late nights here and there maybe smoking a little weed with your friends that's
like the perfect perfect perfect formula I'm actually doing a party girl day we'll call it
that on Friday my friend it's kind of like a birthday celebration slash she's starting up
like what is it I don't know school really really hard medical school and so we're kind of doing one
last big hurrah of the summer before she's got to lock the fuck in and she is renting a party bus
and we're making borgs and we will be drinking on the party bus and they're dropping us off at the
royals game and then picking us back up and then taking us out to karaoke yeah yeah yeah back in
the day i'd be like i need every drug known to man i need to drink as much as possible my borg
needs to be completely filled with like ever clear like i would just be a mess i would be a mess
and now that I'm older I've realized like you can have your party girl day party girl weekend
and not have to kill yourself like you can do it and not feel like a complete mess like horrible
awful shit how do I don't remember anything the next day like you can find balance I remember
telling my dad I'm doing this and I and he was like well you know you you can you can balance
and if you want you don't have to drink that much and I was like oh oh yeah you're you're right
you're so you're so right so there's ways that you can still go out and have a good time and
you know have that party girl phase without having to get completely obliterated or make decisions
that you don't remember having and it's all about pacing yourself like everybody's gonna make their
borg with so much alcohol in it I think I'm gonna put just a little bit and then be aware of how
much I'm like drinking at the baseball game try and get as much food into me as possible if you
are going drinking in the day or night eat something a good meal a big meal yes a meal
at least one to two hours before if you eat right before you go out drinking I find that it really
fucks up my stomach but if you give yourself that good window of like one to two hours of like a big
meal it'll help you just like balance your alcohol levels and balance how much you can really handle
and then eating also after like the first part of drinking maybe you go to one uh bar or you go to
one place where there's alcohol involved you have like two to three drinks now you go find the hot
dog stand now you go find the euro place like go have a little something to eat maybe pack a granola
bar in your bag have a little something to kind of settle your stomach in between drinks also
chug a glass of water if possible or hack of the century is vodka waters whiskey waters anything
mixed with water tequila water it's disgusting yeah absolutely but as much water as you can get
in your system because ultimately the next day is going to be rough but it's only rough because
you're dehydrated alcohol naturally dehydrates the body if you're doing any substances it's
naturally going to dehydrate the body that's where the pain comes from so if you can really
manage your symptoms of the next day by making sure you're taking care of yourself day of you
will have a much easier time the only times i've had like a horrible awful insane hangover is
because oh i didn't eat anything because i wanted to just get fucked up easier oh i didn't drink
any water in between my vodka cranberries so i was only ingesting alcohol and sugar oh i didn't
even eat anything when i came home from the bar oh i didn't you know make myself a glass of water
to chug in the middle of the night so i didn't end up drinking any water or take any advil or
ibuprofen and then i'm just suffering you don't have to suffer take care of yourself pace it out
you can be a party girl without dying you can be a responsible party girl believe it or not
and i will be her hopefully on friday because i have to work a eight hour shift the next day
also when it comes to hangovers i would rather show up for my shift so hungover than just be
home all day miserable i would rather go work an eight hour shift after partying for 12 hours the
day before than sit at home and be miserable and just hate my life because at least it's a
distraction at least you're miserable there at work and everybody else around you is also miserable
because they're just they're at work in general and the time will fly by especially if you're a
server because you're probably gonna get really fucking busy all of a sudden it's 10 p.m you
forgot you have a headache because you can't think about anything else other than the tables you're
serving and the work you're doing and then it's time to go to bed and then by the next day you're
all good that is my party girl hack and lay off the substances you don't need them to have a good
time seriously what was a complete 180 turning point for you happy sunday back in the day and
i've told this story before a big 180 turning point was when i almost died i don't know why
i've had so many near-death experiences not fun i don't know what lesson the universe was trying
to teach me there but essentially i was dating my abusive toxic ex and i remember i was at his
place comforting him all because he was having a moment so i drove 30 minutes to go comfort him
and take care of him and whatever the fuck and then it was like 3 a.m and i remember the next
day i was in art school at the time and i was like well i have 8 a.m classes and all this stuff
and i have assignments due it's the end of the semester it was like towards the spring um semester
i was like i need to get the fuck home like would love to stay over here babe but i gotta go he's
like okay fine but are you sure blah blah blah guilt trip guilt trip i was like i gotta go i
to go home so i'm driving home and it's like 3 a.m i remember i'm listening to melanie martinez
girl what the fuck anyways i was in my little emo era and the thing about living in the midwest is
we have these ginormous highways like really ginormous highways that kind of cut through
each other and twist and turn and on this particular strip of the highway it was around a
hill like a massive hill and it was this really sharp almost 90 degree turn on this massive hill
that you're also going 80 miles an hour well i did not know that there was an accident that
had occurred there the accident being the highway above yes above they took two like sharp of a turn
and it was a giant trailer full of about a hundred angus beef cows now if you've never
seen a cow in real life those motherfuckers are big bigger than your car bigger than a minivan
massive massive especially the angus beef cows and they're also completely black like pitch black
so it's 3 a.m i'm driving home i didn't realize it was raining cows and a dumb ass fucking police
officer had parked in the middle of the highway with their lights off around the other side of
the hill so you could not see them at all and I came flying around this hill not even flying going
the speed limit hit the back of this police car I didn't even see it coming I was just driving and
then all of a sudden I'm being unbuckled from my seat belt and pulled out of this car by a police
officer and forced to stand up and he looked me in the eyes and he goes oh my god you should be
dead right now huh excuse me where am i who are you what is going on what what the fuck is
happening and then yeah there was like cowboys everywhere there was cows everywhere police
officer did not give a fuck about me i don't know why i did not get in the ambulance i think i was
just scared that the bill was going to be so high yes welcome to america yup complete and utter
disaster and in that moment I remember the only person I could call was a my dad I called him
and shout out to my dad if he hears his phone go off in the middle of the night he will always
answer it so he answered and he's like are you okay and I was like yes I told the story he's
like all right well do you need a ride or you got something figured out I was like you know what
I'll call my boyfriend at the time I'm sure he will be a lovely individual who will come help
me after I almost died in a car accident right I called him and he's like oh frustrated oh I have
to come get you blah blah blah it got to the point where the police officer was like I'll just take
you up back to the police station and we can wait there until someone can finally get you and it
took hours after that after me almost dying and realizing wow I have no one around me I mean of
course my dad loved him my parents would have helped me in a heartbeat but I wasn't gonna
stress them out I was like wow truly the people that I'm choosing to have around me do not give
a fuck about me do not care about me I am also making decisions that I don't care about myself
at the time I was really addicted to molly I was partying too much I mean I was taking my school
work serious but I realized at that point in time like wow I am not on a path that I want to be on
and if I would have died right then and there I would have been so unsatisfied with the life that
I was living and after that happened I immediately made so many decisions that completely
180 my life broke up with my toxic ex committed to school committed to myself moved back home
like did a lot of like work on myself stop my substance abuse um stop going out as much
and i realized that commitment to myself will always have a payoff commitment to myself will
always feel so much more enthralling and invigorating and just fulfilling than commitment
to anybody else no matter how good you are to me truly commitment to myself in the life i want to
live and making my life into whatever i want it to be will ultimately happen like i can make anything
happen if i just want it like fuck it i'm gonna die tomorrow who cares like let me go out there
and do everything that i can possibly imagine that i want to do let me try it what's the worst
someone's gonna say no cool i don't give a fuck if you aren't satisfying me if you aren't a good
partner to me girl fuck you i'm leaving like it really gave me a lot of courage to try new things
and to try a new life and ultimately it led me here i started posting on tiktok i started posting
more on social media sharing my life with people and now here i am are you kidding me yeah yep we
only have one life to live and unfortunately it does take like bad things happening for us to
really learn that but once I realized like wow this can be taken away from us in any second
you have no idea when it's coming I realized just how little I was living life and how much more I
could be doing and also that the world really does open up to you if you are brave enough to take
that first step to take flight to try new things what's the worst you're gonna hear no cool it's
literally not the end of the world you're not gonna die who cares keep it moving try new things
go after new things you'd be surprised how much you hear yes that's the one thing but yeah that
was a big turning moment at least in my early 20s that happened when i was 19 or 20 i think it was
when I was 19 about to turn 20 I was really young that was the biggest turning point my life then
now the biggest 180 in my life is my brain is developing like I'm realizing I don't need to
go through hard things to learn lessons that they can come easily to me that yes the power that I
felt after that when it comes to taking control of my life I feel more stable on the decisions
I'm making now I feel like I've made long-term investments in my life that are starting to pay
off I feel like now I have a little bit more control over my life and I can make bigger little
like scarier decisions but ultimately they have so much payoff that it makes it so worth it so
if you feel the instability of your early 20s don't let it get to you I think your mid-20s are
so amazing and so wonderful because you do get that stability that comes with your brain actually
fully developing and you just starting to make better decisions for your life and feeling what
it feels like to actually be an adult a settled leveled real adult and because I feel this way
now it also makes me really really excited for like 30 I cannot wait to be 30 I think it will
be so amazing I think I'll be living a life that I never could have imagined but I'm like
so thankful for what I am doing now and the payoff that it will have in the future to know that I am
securing a happy and healthy life down the road yeah i don't know it really sucked i wish i could
have not had a near-death experience in order for me to learn those things but the universe is going
to teach you that lesson no matter what it truly truly is and if you are in your young 20s and
you're like being an adult so hard i just don't know what to do hang on do the best you can your
brain will start to get it and understand with every step that you take with every hard decision
that you take with every chance and leap of faith that you take and it will have payoff i promise
your life will be so incredibly beautiful so incredibly loved and appreciated you just
sometimes got to put yourself first you know it is your life the only person that's going to be
there for you on your deathbed when you are 90 100 years old if we are given that many years to
live is you are you going to be happy with where you are or are you going to be like damn i should
have broke up with that man damn I should have gone to that school damn I should have moved to
that place damn I should have taken that chance damn I should have taken that opportunity do it
for her you but when you're 90 speaking of car accidents someone said my boyfriend has road rage
should I break up with him okay confessional here I have really bad road rage it's because I've been
in so many car accidents and practically almost died that whenever somebody is just an idiot on
the fucking road or not paying attention or on their phone it makes me so incredibly angry because
you are putting so many people's lives in danger um i don't care if you make a little mistake or
whatever i'm not screaming out my window i'm not waving a handgun out my window like other people
here in kansas city like it gets hectic out on the roads and it can be a red flag if your man can't
manage or handle his negative emotions but if it's just happening in one instance and it's like not
that bad it's just whatever then it is what it is like I am not a angry individual but you be
put me behind the wheel of a car and like there's some idiot around me I'm gonna be a little angry
I'm gonna be a little angry especially if you're not looking where you're going no turning signals
like yeah I'm gonna have a little bit of rage but it is an isolated environment and I do have
my reasonings behind it it's not like taking over my life I'm not getting road rage and then coming
home angry or being pissed off for days or taking it out on anybody else in the car or even screaming
or yelling or anything like that unless I'm alone and then I need to let some some energy out you
know what I mean so if it's an isolated incident and it's only like every once in a while it's not
that deep then it is what it is but there is something to say about an angry man and a man
being angry all the time over nothing at all and if that's what you're facing then I think you need
to leave immediately not even joking the last thing i want in my house is an angry man how to
not be seen as an angry woman when being assertive i just don't yell no yelling you gotta be very
calm cool collected you gotta take my mom was like a um first grade teacher growing up like
she did 25 30 years as a first grade teacher and the one thing i've learned about her is that i
always saw her as assertive and her kids always listened to her because she wasn't yelling
she was straightforward monotone and voiced you know very calm cool collected but also just like
let me tell you how it's fucking gonna go she was always respected and listened to men are not
respective when they're assertive because they get emotional women sometimes aren't uh respected
when they get asserted the same way because they get emotional when emotions come into play it
takes like all seriousness out of the conversation that you're having no crying no yelling no like
emotional connection facts straightforward what the fuck's going on no banter no back and forth
I'm gonna tell you how it is I'm gonna tell it to you straight and you're gonna either accept it
or you're not going to but I don't really give a fuck how you take it because I gotta get it off
my chest that's kind of how you have to go about it and honestly even when you do do it perfectly
you know like no emotion straightforward assertive monotone voice no people are still gonna probably
think you're a bitch and an angry woman but also like that's their problem to deal with that is not
your problem you know you made your boundaries your feelings whatever you need to put forward
clear however they want to feel outside of it is however they're gonna feel that's their problem
not yours when did you learn how to cook I I kind of just taught myself growing up my mom never
really taught me how to cook neither did my dad I was kind of just like left on my own and it was
like I just love food and I'm gonna teach myself how to do it I don't really care how when I would
grow up with my grandma we always cooked together um whether it was just like coming over and baking
cookies or learning her different recipes things like that it wasn't really like dinner recipes
like I'm I'm a midwest girly at heart so it's always baked goods lots of baked goods so I would
do like baking Mondays when I was younger and slowly that turned into me being a teenager and
I'm like well I'm craving fried pickles so I'm gonna learn how to make fried pickles or I'm
craving fettuccine alfredo so I'm gonna learn how to make it and I mean my parents were busy busy
busy busy with their jobs so I would always have like two to three hours after school to just do
whatever I wanted and it was always cooking I don't know I just there's something about putting
on a YouTube video and making something yummy for yourself that is just so heartwarming and it's
just a great use of my time especially when I was younger like oh I want crepes let me learn how to
make crepes oh I want this let me learn how to make it and my parents we never really got crazy
with our recipes it was usually always growing up it was usually always some sort of meat steamed
vegetable and maybe some sort of carb like a potato or rice that was it that was really it
occasionally my mom would try a new recipe or try something fun out um but I didn't really grow up
in a household that was like really into cooking or dishes or anything like that also what made me
want to cook more and not go just buy it from somewhere is we didn't grow up eating out I
probably could count on one hand how many times we went out to eat as a family and like actually
sitting down at a restaurant to eat just me my brother and my parents I don't think that ever
happened genuinely I think it was like a one-off drive-thru pickup pizza whatever it is but we
never really went out seeking good food if we wanted it we could make it at home for cheaper
and that's what we did and so that also taught me like oh you want it just make it you find the
recipe online just make it if it doesn't turn out how you want who cares try again um and yeah that's
kind of where I learned how to cook or at least had the passion or inspiration or attempt to learn
how to cook anybody can do it you can do it if I can do it you can definitely do it trust you're
gonna fail a couple times but hopefully at the end of your trials and tribulations what's beautiful
about going through it or trying to cook is you usually have something really yummy at the end of
it all which makes it so worth it especially all the dishes oh that's the worst thing about cooking
is dishes if i was rich and famous you know how people buy or get like chefs to cook them meals
i don't think i would do that if i was rich and famous i would cook all of my own meals
but i would hire somebody to be my dishwasher and best believe i would pay them better than
any other dishwasher out here because one thing about a dishwasher they are not getting paid well
and they deserve as much money as possible like they be hustling period but yeah i think i was
rich and famous fuck a chef i can cook for myself and i can cook better than anybody i know i want
a professional dishwasher addicted to carts really struggling to quit yeah that's the one thing about
i do kind of feel bad for the younger generations now especially growing up with so much
screen time and then also the cart edemic you know when i was younger it was like all right
i'm smoking flour which means i can't do it in the house because my parents are gonna know
i can't do it anywhere near the house because my parents are gonna know i need to like go
somewhere else and it really mitigated how much weed i truly was smoking because there was only
minimal times i was able to leave the house go smoke weed be out long enough that i don't smell
like it anymore and then come home it really kept like how much i was smoking down if i had a cart
in high school I would have been a burn out more so than I was I would have been so bad so bad and
I do feel bad for the you know generations now because you're kind of set up for failure in that
sort of way if you're young especially like when you're I was in high school or college you should
not be smoking carts I think carts are not there to help you like you're like oh it's easy it's
simple i can do it in the dorm room that's kind of the bad thing about them because instead of
just like oh what you would do with flour which is like maybe one little joint or one little bowl at
the end of the night you are smoking probably a cart a week because you can do it in the hallways
you can do it in the restroom stalls you can do it in your dorm room or wherever you are in your
bedroom and no one knows which is like kind of fucked up kind of fucked up and not good
the um when things are very easy for you you need to be able to understand that sometimes that
doesn't always mean better does that make sense and unfortunately the only way for you to kind
of cut out carts from your life is to just not have them i'm not saying don't smoke them like
if your friend has one sure you can go hit your friend's cart but don't have one on you don't own
one um and if you do smoke anything smoke flour it will really keep you from smoking so much
like i said because you can't do it inside you can't do it anywhere that you're not supposed
to be able to do it if you are living with your parents you know you're gonna have to take that
late night walk you're not gonna be able to do it during the middle of the day and it just will save
your brain so much trauma you know you know what i mean is it possible to continuously have
great sex with someone without catching feelings no no it's not it's not possible it's not our our
human bodies and brain were not made that way we are not robots we are not porn star robots who can
have sex with different people or the same person all the time and not feel anything it's not how
we're made it's not naturally how we're supposed to exist anybody who's told you anything else is
telling you a lie a absolute fucking lie when you are you know engaging in something that you I mean
you're both getting pleasure from and you're having a great time and you're really enjoying it
naturally there's going to be emotions there and the emotions that you're gonna feel or catch
are based off of that dopamine that is being released when you are getting dopamine or
dopamine hits or any sort of like positive feeling or positive chemical release you are going to
associate that thing as a positive and naturally you're going to have positive emotions behind it
you could be the coldest straightforward bitch on the planet and still if you are having continuous
sex with somebody that you're having like really good sex with you are going to naturally feel
those emotions you are I mean how good you are at turning emotions off is up to you but I think
that's such just like a not fun way to live you know so emotionless and cold all the time I think
that's such a lame way to live it's okay to have emotions it's okay to oh my god I feel a certain
way about someone I'm having sex with every single day like yeah duh girl duh and I argue that if you
are having sex with somebody every single day and making that much time for each other you probably
have enough time to date each other but yeah you need to be aware that the emotions will come and
go you will feel something do with those emotions as you will be careful of the partners you choose
make sure they're seeing and hearing you for what it is if it's a one-sided relationship get the
fuck out of there immediately and yeah unfortunately no you can't separate emotions from sex they are
way way way too intertwined and like i said anybody else who tells you differently is lying
to you we are not robots and thank god we're not sex positions where the woman is dominant
oh hmm i don't know i'm always i'm a very submissive person definitely like pillow princess
energy like girl i look like this you throw it down on me you know what i mean but if you want
to be more dominant i don't know in my opinion like on top is always very dominant so like maybe
you could be riding him and then have your like hands around his throat or um honestly i think
like face sitting is one of the most dominant positions there are like lay the fuck down i'm
going to sit on your face right now and you're gonna eat this pussy yeah or even like you could
be facing them and i think with face sitting is you really gotta be intentional about how you're
sitting down like you use your knees a lot especially if you're sitting forward but also
you can sit backwards like almost um like almost 69 but you're not giving him anything
very dominant cowgirl reverse cowgirl one something that's like actually crazy that i
think you could do is um that's like very very dominating is okay so you're on top right facing
each other he is laying back and then he can if he pulls his knees back almost like you would be
if you were doing missionary um you can kind of like be on top riding him while he has his legs
back does that make sense you do have to be on your feet for this you can't be on your knees for
this you're on your feet in front of him like bouncing on it while he has his legs pulled back
it's a very dominating position for sure never done it but I do have the Kama Sutra book and I
remember seeing it and I was like that's crazy um so maybe give that a chance a shot if you're in
your dominatrix bag girl go for it the most dominating thing that there is though is truly
just like him giving you pleasure and you focusing on your pleasure fully and only do you believe in
destiny I do I do believe in destiny but I don't think it's something that I don't think destiny
is something that you're going to find at 16 I don't think it's something you're going to find
at 25 I don't think you really realize like what your destiny was until you're on your deathbed
that's the thing there's a lot of like mysteries to life that I've come to realize that just like
I won't know until I'm at the very end looking back and that brings me so much peace because
there's nothing you can figure out there's nothing you can figure out there's no like right path that
you have to choose or like you don't have to be aware of your destiny it will naturally find you
if you believe that what is meant for you will find you that you will get onto the right path
eventually all you got to do is make as many positive decisions for yourself as you can
ultimately you will find yourself there but I don't think you are going to be able to sit in
front of destiny and understand what you're looking at I don't think you will be able to
realize what your destiny was until you know you're like I said 80 90 years old and you're
like wow that was really what I was supposed to be doing in life when you're young you want to
figure everything out especially the mysteries of the world and the one thing that's so beautiful
about like the mysteries of the universe is they're not there to figure out like you will
get it eventually you will be you know on that right path eventually the mysteries will be
revealed but they won't ever be revealed in a way that you could ever imagine or ever guess
or try to find or seek out they come at their own time and they come when least expected so stop
chasing and start living the more you live the closer you will be to your destiny the more you
experience and you go after pleasure and go after what you want and go after anything that brings
you peace and joy and prosperity and truly live your life to the fullest the closer you will get
to that right path that right choice to your destiny but i don't think we're like i said we're
not robots we're not going to be able to you know see the numbers in front of us and understand like
that's the right thing or that's coming down the road or we're gonna be that thing
it just isn't how life works life is one beautiful mystery but it's not one that we're supposed to
figure out at the end of it you know it'll be revealed to us but the best way to get there is
to just live experience try new things listen to our gut listen to our intuition that will
correctly put us on the path that's meant for us do you believe in furries i mean yeah i believe
in furries yeah if you were like a long time listener you know i fuck with the furries i fuck
with the furries shout out to my furries i don't know if there's any furries listening but giving
you your props i think um anybody who can put on like a 300 pound suit that they got custom made
or even handmade themselves and are truly living their life however they want to and fully you know
understanding their identity and how they want to express themselves and are brave enough to do so
like kudos mama that is impressive that's amazing and i love you and support you always truly
thousand percent ten toes down do not come for my furries i fuck with them truly like any sort of
sub group subculture there's gonna be the weirdos but ultimately with furries i find them very
endearing and um kind of trustworthy in that sort of sense they go through a lot in order to express
themselves and i think that's very brave and wonderful of them also a furry saved my life
one time and after that i owe my entire life to you guys if you haven't heard the story before
um back in my party girl era where i didn't care if i lived or died until i randomly did care
um i went to a club a nightclub alone right after my breakup directly after my breakup to the point
where i had to turn my location off because i knew he'd get mad even though we weren't together
but i knew he'd get mad if i was there so i went to the club and um of course you know get a random
drink from a guy at the bar don't do that don't do that but get a random drink from the guy at
the bar he won't stop following me around constantly following me around very predatory
very much so i don't want to be around you but you're following me around because you think i
owe you something so of course where do i go girls bathroom that's the first place obviously you go
if you ever feel scared girls bathroom I remember sitting in this stall and I was like this man is
right outside the bathroom like I don't know how I'm going to get out there without him snatching
me and stealing me away so I walk out of the restroom you know I'm going to wash my hands and
I look over and there's a girly with tails and ears and mittens on and I was like you I trust
you you're the only other person in here i fuck with you i fuck with your vibe hey girl like
there's some weird guy outside i just don't know what to do is like there any way you can help me
and she was like i got you snatched my hand pulled me out of that bathroom as fast as possible
pulled me right past that man he's like trailing behind he gets lost in the crowd she pulls me
through the crowd pulls me up the stairs straight into her vip section and it's like you sit here
girl you just sit back enjoy we got bottle service if there's anything you need just order it from
the um from the bottle girl whatever you're looking for just don't leave just stay here
like don't go down there I don't want him snatching you or anything like that just hang out with us
and it was her and a bunch of her like little rave friends like um furry friends who just like
bought a section in this rave club and we're kicking it like so funny so fun and back in the
day I was Irish goodbyer where it was like I'm tired I'm going home and just like immediately
dipping and so I hung out there for a little bit and enjoyed but of course I immediately dipped
and somehow she had found my Instagram and had DM me at like 3 a.m. and was like thinking of you
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oh my god a man would never a man would never a man would never ever ever ever ever since then
i stand 10 paws down for my furries okay like they ride or die especially if you like
need help or you know need support i feel like especially coming from a community where maybe
you're not given that support or given that trust or given that um appreciation that you want to
give it to other people when they also don't have it and that is just so admirable and yeah i do
stand with my furries someone said at some point protecting my peace has become excuses to not do
things yeah yeah it does get to that point i feel like it's very circular um and you got to find
your balance somewhere where it's like half the time you're taking risks half the time you're
you know listening to your gut and maybe not going out that night you're listening to your gut and
not doing that random thing that you just don't need to be doing and it can be very circular where
it's like you're doing too much you're doing too much you're doing too much oh my god I need to
stay inside now I'm inside to the point where I just don't want to leave the house now I need to
just be outside now I'm outside outside outside inside inside inside and it just keeps going
you gotta have balance okay i talk about like my monthly going outs and that's something that
really keeps me balanced because i'm an indoor cat definitely like i love being outside i used
to love being a little party butterfly girl like chit chat with everybody outside hanging out um
but i realize it's just not sustainable i can't do that 24 7 but also i can't be inside 24 7 having
no experiences at all and just like only being alone and talking to myself and my cat like talk
about mental illness so I do plan like one to two things a month that get me out of my comfort zone
whether it's like going out and partying with friends or going to this concert or even just
like going to the park and having a picnic going to this event this meetup I always just plan a
couple of things that get me out of my comfort zone so i'm not protecting my peace too much
to the point where i just am not living life because listen it's okay to protect your peace
definitely definitely definitely but the things that help you grow and challenge you and help
you develop as a human being and an individual and understand your worldview and help grow your
worldview are things that are going to be challenging and difficult and are not going
to be protecting your peace definitely definitely some lessons come easy some don't and you need to
get outside of your bubble it's very very important especially now more so than ever
to get outside of your bubble to understand different perspectives to see different things
to live a full healthy life and a lot of that comes from just challenging yourself to try new
things to take that class to sign up for that course to go to that show to be brave enough to
hang out with that new friend to start that community meetup to go to that local like yoga
in the park to go to that new flea market pop up to do it alone to do it with friends to do it with
new friends and i understand that can be so overwhelming especially if you're the kind of
person who takes a while to kind of rebuild their battery back up so that's why i like to do like i
said two things maybe one thing a month at the very very least that just challenges me gets me
out of the house it will rebuild your connection to yourself it'll make you stronger more trustworthy
in yourself in the world around you i promise you just gotta be brave you gotta be brave get out
there don't let your anxieties control you don't let your fear of the world control you and guess
what the amazing thing about taking risks and going outside is that as soon as you're not having
fun you can always go home you can always go right the fuck back home so one thing that really helps
me is like oh I really don't want to go to this punk show but all my friends are going or my
boyfriend's going and whatever I'll go hang out and see how it is and guess what if I get there
and I'm there for an hour and I'm just not having a good time I can go right the fuck back home I
can always go back home to my safe space your safe space is always there for you it's always
waiting for you but it shouldn't be the only thing that you are indulging in anyways with that being
said that is all we have for today's episode i know i know it was a fun one it was kind of silly
fun enthralling i hope you had a good time i hope it was able to make you laugh or i hope you just
were able to have some sort of distraction from the chaos of the world around you
if you are gonna do anything this week get outside bitch it's may all of a sudden it's
gonna be june and it's gonna be july and then it's gonna be winter go take advantage of this
beautiful weather outside go get some deep breaths outside open up your window roll down
your windows on your drive to and from work enjoy the best that you can we only have one life to
live and i don't want any of you guys laying on your deathbed being like wow i wish i wish i wish
yeah bitch you did wish why didn't you just do it we're young we're hot we're sexy we're energetic
utilize that energy to the best of your ability don't force yourself to suffer any more than you
need to and in my opinion a little bit of sunshine and fresh air does heal a lot of ailments truly
but i love you all so much if you want to see more from me join the patreon patreon.com
i do extra episodes every single week it is may so i need to do a new tarot reading of the month
i'm about to put up some um weekly inspo with just things from my pinterest and my personal
tumblr that i like to share with you guys show you guys what is inspiring me i will be doing a
career spell on there this week as well i've been doing a lot of spell work on there i did a money
bowl i've done an evil eye cleansing and yeah now i'm doing a career spell so if you guys want to
just see what me and the girls are doing over there come join patreon.com slash smokes as shoddy
and if you want to submit your question every single week i do so on my instagram stories on
sundays it's up for 24 hours get your question and i'd love to answer it but that is at hannah
marlene on instagram i'm hoping to do some more recipes i kind of fell off on instagram but i was
having a down couple of weeks i just needed to rest and relax before i'm kind of building my
energy back up so i could jump back out there but i love you all so much i hope you are feeling
the enthralling energy of this summer season and utilizing it to the best of your ability
but with that being said stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon
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