Smoke Sesh - getting selfish, 4B movement & decentering men

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

hello hotties of the world and happy Tuesday... we have quite the episode today as we talk about the events of last week (TW election talk lol) and who I voted for and why, we talk showing up for each other during this time and channeling feminine rage. I talk resources/education for those who don't know what to do with these emotions, women losing their rights across the country and how to fight back, safety as a woman and how to prioritize safety, most importantly decentering men in your life and the 4B movement, having hope during this time, prioritizing yourself, feeling your emotions fully, having big feelings, radical desire of yourself, getting selfish, getting out into the world and traveling, budgeting tips for your young 20's, credit cards, experiencing life, moving, staying comfy this winter, mindfulness, self sabotage, allowing change, how to grow, radical self love, transformation, leaving behind the past, finding simple joys, choice paralysis, overthinking, plus much much much more as we navigate recent changes and prepare for the future. I LOVE YOU ALL! do not give up hope or lay down during this time, show up for the people you love, stay sexy, stay sane and we will chat soon <3 MUAH https://www.patreon.com/posts/womens-outreach-115482928?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=postshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Oh wow. Hello hotties. welcome back to another episode of smoke sash my name is hannah your host how are we all feeling

today qi twitch how are we doing in these um changing times i understand last week i uploaded an episode um and it was on i guess election day and that was a day in which i still had hope um so sorry if like you listen to that episode post election day and you're like why is this bitch so fucking happy um that's because it was filmed before election day um before i realized how much america truly just hates women and women of color now the vibes have definitely shifted now i'm definitely after you know the results came out that trump was elected again um i have not felt that way since i went through a breakup i woke up that morning and it is like you know when you go through a breakup and it's just like a black hole of a pit not in your heart but like

in your gut where you it's like sucking motivation out of you it's sucking energy out of you that's exactly what I woke up feeling I woke up to a text at 4 a.m. to my friend being like well at we at least we have each other these next four years and immediately that black pit just like filled my soul and I was pretty fucking sad I will say I was sent home early from work because they understood the vibes okay they're it's a very progressive company they were like girl go home here's a shot let me feed you a shot let me send you on your way like go home get some rest i feel you and my sadness has definitely turned into more anger which is kind of nice i'm still processing the five emotions of grief um the five different stages that you got to work through

in grief I already went through my sadness phase my denial phase don't catch me being like those Trump supporters being like there's election fraud girl if there is it'll come to light if not it is what it is unfortunately at this point I just have to believe that truly there are that many people here in this country that hate women and hate women of color most importantly um and that is truly heartbreaking and extremely fucked up to come to this realization again over and over and over again in my life um i just didn't realize it was that many fucking people so we're gonna talk about it we're gonna talk about it we're gonna talk about it and if you think i've been silent if you think like oh my god girl you were way too happy post-election

that's because it was filmed pre-election this is truly my post-election feelings listen i'm not gonna be that white woman that gets on here and is like can't we all just agree to disagree we shouldn't let our politics you know get in the way of loving and being kind to each other bitch if you don't shut the fuck up right now actually speak up and just say who the fuck you voted for you're not saying for it for a reason because you know it's fucking bad i have never sat here and been afraid to tell people my political stance or who i voted for in fear of people not liking me anymore and if you voted for someone and you feel that way it's because you voted for the wrong fucking person i'm sorry i'm sorry that's just how it is if you're gonna vote for

trump you might as well fucking own it because that's how you feel if you feel like you have to hide your political beliefs it's because it's probably fucking wrong babe and i don't give a fuck if i lose followers i don't give a fuck if you're in the comments like but but i just needed gas prices to be lowered girl it is bigger than fucking gas prices it is and if you're just broke you can say that you can say that you can say i'm broke and i can't afford shit right now that's okay but if you think it's going to get easier you are in for a big fucking surprise you are and guess what it's not my lesson to learn it's not i have done the education for myself i have researched i understand fully what is about to happen i know and if you're the person out here

who also is as heartbroken and angry and upset as i am please understand this is not your lesson to learn that doesn't mean sit out and don't do anything obviously it means we have way more fucking work to do obviously we need to keep outreaching and showing up and protesting and supporting the people in our community but if you are the person who thinks everything is going to be okay you are in for a big fucking surprise and guess what it's not my lesson to learn but they will learn it they will learn it very fucking quickly i also posted on patreon i needed to get you know my energy focused into a better place so i did post on patreon a free public everybody can view it you don't have to be a patreon member you can send it to your friends you can share with

people pdf of resources for women especially during this time um contraceptive options resources on what your states do and do not allow in accordance to women's bodies so you can adequately prepare access to plan c pills if you need those i know i will be stocking up on those just in case so i can be you know a resource for women in my community my patreon is patreon.com slash smoke slash shawty but yes i will include it in the bio caption whatever of this episode so if you do need to access those resources or share them with a friend you can i think a lot of us thought the work was done um well it's never done obviously but i think a lot of us at least within my own echo chamber thought that duh hello duh did we not do the work have we not had the

conversations and i think we did not realize just how much more we need to do so i am not going to give up the fight i'm not going to just lay here and accept these negative changes to happen around me i am going to keep showing up for my community i am going to keep providing resources for you guys even if you are on the whole trumpy side 53 of white women hello voted for trump i will have those hard conversations i will educate those people i will you know show up and try to spread as much education that i can to those around me that is our duty that is what we need to be doing in this time and if you are just sitting back and feeling angry and you don't know what to do with those things that's exactly where you need to be putting your your feelings your emotions your

anger you need to do community outreach you need to be showing up for the women in your life you need to be having those hard conversations you need to be prevailing against all odds especially especially right now so yeah oh i need a fucking bowl my god we're gonna smoke here in a second but i do want to talk a little bit about safety coming up during this time um and maybe some hot topics that have been spreading um online especially so first of all immediately as soon as i saw the election results i texted my dad and i said i need you to take me to the gun range if they're gonna have guns i might as well know how to fucking shoot one i might as well also i need to take some anger out i texted my dad i was like yeah can you take me to the gun range and he

was like who the fuck are you shooting first of all you can't just like randomly text me that now i'm concerned it's like no listen we gotta fight fire with fire here not literally i'm not gonna go take a gun out on the streets but like this is something that i need to learn how to do obviously if we're gonna live in trump's america i need to be able to protect myself i need to be able to understand how to do these things um i also included in that pdf different versions of self-protection that women should have on them at all times especially in a time where obviously people are not prioritizing women and obviously the whole rhetoric of your body my choice is going around bitch my gun my choice try me I dare you safety is going to be the most important thing

and this is kind of the topic that I want to hit on the most here because I think a lot of the women in my community need to hear this and I understand it is mostly women here if you are a queer person as well I do think you need to prioritize safety as well if you are a straight man who is here you need to prioritize safety for the women in your life and show up and speak out for the women in your life that is what is required of you during this time um an ally of sorts but safety is so fucking important it is i also want to address listen if i'm being honest i don't think there's a lot of trump supporters that listen to this fucking podcast i think i've scared you off but if you are i'm speaking to you right now and i want you to listen just because

you are in proximity does not mean you are safe just because the tiger is eating out of your hands right now doesn't mean it's not gonna rip your fucking arm off coming up soon i think a lot of women and especially a lot of white women from what we have observed recently from the recent polls and exit polls of how many white women voted for trump i think a lot of them are prioritizing their momentary comfort and i hate to break it to you but you will not be comfortable for much longer just because you are on their side and you're showing up to the rallies and you know you're speaking the same hate rhetoric that they are doesn't mean they look at you any different those men who demean women those men who think they can do anything to women does not exclude

you in fact you being closer makes you more of a target and you succumbing to those things you putting up with those behaviors you spreading that rhetoric shows those men and those people in your life that they can do it to you more you are not safe just because you are close to those people and just because you're comfortable right now does not mean you're going to be comfortable forever and I don't want it to get so far that you end up physically hurt mentally hurt assaulted dead for you to learn that lesson so listen to the words that I am speaking very clearly to you with right now to all of my other women and everybody else included who maybe are on the resisting side let's talk about the 4b movement I understand this whole 4b movement has been

a very prevalent topic especially directly after the election of donald trump and i do like ultimately i do like the basis of it the basis of it is just um it is a south korean feminist movement that started in 2019 where they just started to refuse to date men refuse to speak to men refuse to have sex with men refuse to have babies with men um and that is their form of protest they said if we're not going to get rights if you're going to treat us like this then this is how we're going to fight back and in that culture i think it is fantastic and amazing but in this culture we have warped it and we we are using the 4b movement as a way to kind of like punish men and i want to get into the topic of doing things for men and i want to make it very

clear that when your behavior is constantly revolving around men either for or against you are still prioritizing men in your life you have to do it for yourself you have to revolve these ideas around yourself i think it worked so well in south korea because they were doing it for themselves they were doing it for the other women they were not doing it for the men to be against the men but they were internally wanting more for themselves wanting more for the women in their life they were doing it for them here in america we are so used to prioritizing men revolving our behaviors around men it is ultimately a patriarchal society and we can see that very clearly now and the number one form of safety that you can take in this day and age is stop prioritizing

men if you are out here and you're like oh i voted for kamala like i want more for women but my boyfriend oh he just happens to be a trump supporter you giving him pussy is reinforcing those ideals you sleeping with trump supporters are showing them yes you can hate women you can want them to be lower than you you can hate people of color you can hate immigrants you can be a hateful spiteful mean person and still a good girl will walk into your life and give you pussy you are reinforcing those ideals if you are sleeping with a trump supporter if you are dating a trump supporter you are proving it to them just because you think differently and oh you may be getting fights here and there you're still giving up pussy to him and you're still

reinforcing those ideals and those feelings to him through that action you have to stop allowing those behaviors in your life you have to stop prioritizing men in your life who simply do not give a fuck about you situationships there's no more situationships babe there's no more time for casual sex it is not safe anymore i had to have a conversation with my boyfriend who was like i would love to start a family with you right now i would love to get married to you right now but it is not safe enough for me to get pregnant it's not it's not safe enough for me to even attempts to get pregnant pregnant when 15 of pregnancies end in miscarriage or needing an abortion performed i don't have those protections i don't and that is not a risk that i am willing

to take so you need to ask yourself oh is this casual sex really safe for me at this point in time like i'm so sorry i'm so sorry but at this point you have to prioritize your safety and casual sex a situationship that shits out of the window if that man does not love or care for you there is no reason you should be giving up your body and your soul and your pussy for a man who could care less if you lived or died and that is something that i need you to get through your head asap i know i talk about it a lot in a fun oh haha kind of way but at this point your safety and your future and your life is on the line and that shit is not fun i get it it sucks i hear you you just want to live and have a normal life and be a free woman fantastic i hear you i wish you

could do that too but in the political sphere that we are living in that has been taken away from us it has and i don't want any of you being that girl on the headline that is abortion could not be performed she bled out in the parking lot i do not want any of you being that woman and so if it takes me getting on here and talking sternly and directly then that's what i'll fucking do if it takes me providing resources and education and communication then that's what i'll fucking do centering your life around men and approving men and pining after the their attention when they give zero fucks whether you live or die you're giving up your life you are you are and it sucks to have to get this serious it sucks to have to have these hard conversations and not feel like

you can be a free woman but it's getting serious like i hate to break it to you guys it's getting real fucking serious um i do have some literature that i want to share with you guys if you are interested in maybe reading more or learning more about why this country is so fucked up as it is one of those things being um uh our newest book club book of the month every patreon month i share like the book i'm reading with everybody and this one really caught my eye especially being a christian raised woman um to be fair i was raised a very progressive christian my pastor was a gay woman like very progressive but still there are those ideals that i'm breaking inside myself this one is called on our best behavior the seven deadly sins and the price women pay to be good

i think if you are a woman in general who was raised within the christianity sphere i think this will be very important for you to read um not only to kind of confront maybe internal shame that you hold but also to understand maybe the women in your life who are a little more brainwashed in the christianity realm and why they are what tactics the um church uses to get women to behave and to submit and to succumb because we ain't doing that anymore there's no more fucking time for that anymore another great one which actually i might buy my dad because unfortunately he he has always shown up for me and the women in my life and been very progressive and i do thank him for that everybody in my immediate family the people that I choose to surround

myself with are very progressive people who do understand the value of the women in their life and who do show up and fight for them and I am very lucky for that but I do he lost kind of his dad to the right-wing pipeline and I know that breaks his heart but this is a great one for maybe the male christian pipeline that a lot of them fall down it's called jesus and john wayne how white evangelicals corrupted a faith and fractured a nation another great one if you're angry like me as a woman rage becomes her the power of women's anger um and then also within the same realm of kind of how history has covered up how important women have been in this world um it's called when god was a woman the landmark exploration of the ancient worship of the great

goddess and the eventual suppression of women's rights um this is not something that is new to history and um human history in general this is something that we have been facing for a long time um so it's something that we have persevered against for a long time i don't want you to sit here and give up hope and sit back and just accept everything and become a part of the system that wants to suppress you so much i do want you to hold on to that rage and hold on to that anger and hold on to that sadness that you do feel and that desire for goodness and that desire for more i want you to put that though not just in your heart but into places that are directly affecting the world around you i want you to have those hard conversations with the people you love

i want you to get out and help community resources around you i want you to give back to your community i want you to show up at the rallies and the protests that are going to be happening if you have big feelings it's okay but you need somewhere productive to put them you need somewhere to place those emotions where it's going to have a positive effect on the world if you just hold on to this anger and this rage and this sadness it's going to overtake you as a human being and we don't have time for that bullshit i don't have time for any more women to lose themselves inside themselves okay we gotta get out there we gotta do something we gotta do something the biggest thing you can do right now though is de-centering men from your

life de-centering the rage of men de-centering any sort of emotion or attachment that you have towards men any sort of behavior that you are doing in spite or for a man you need to be acting in radical acceptance and desire of yourself the bravest thing and the best thing that you can do for yourself right now as a as a woman is do everything that you desire behave in ways that only you desire behave in ways that you have dreamed of get out there get your education get that degree get that job go after everything your heart desires stop letting a man get in the way of all these dreams and these big plans and these big goals that you have stop succumbing for a two second fuck in exchange for what you truly desire stop putting aside yourself

for the appreciation of someone who doesn't even see the value in you there is no way you're going to be able to convince someone of who you are and convince them to love you the right way they should know how to fucking do that already and if you are not feeling that way if a man is not making you feel that way get him the fuck out of your life immediately that is a leech that is a vampire and they will find you and they will suck you dry until you are a shell of a human being straight up my boyfriend is so sweet first of all he went out voted of course hello duh and no i didn't have to beg him you shouldn't have to beg your boyfriend to get out and vote what the fuck go do it be a man hello not only that but his birthday i feel so bad was the day

of the election and he bought me flowers he knew how stressed i was and he knew how much effort I was putting in and he bought me flowers yeah yeah that's the kind of behavior that you should be keeping around you mm-hmm you know how I got that not by centering him like I love him and I'll show up and I'll support him but I did not have to beg for that that is just something that he should do that's something that all men should do you should not have to center your entire world around him in order to earn that kind of behavior. That kind of behavior should exist inside him already. You should not have to beg anybody to love you. You should not have to also push them away in order for them to love you. You should be acting in every single desire and dream

and hope that you have inside yourself and the right person will find you. Straight up. Straight up we got to get a little selfish we got to start prioritizing yourself and yes once again just being in proximity does not make you safe it does not make you the chosen one and yes if you're angry right now it'll make it a little bit easier to act in opposition of these things and to start prioritizing yourself a little bit more but i'm tired of it no more questions about how do i get this situation ship to love me how do i get this man to finally show up for me i'm done there's no more of it we don't have time for it we don't have space for it you need to be radically centering your life around yourself that is how you stay safe during this time not only around yourself

but also around other women you must break that misogyny side of yourself that is constantly pining after male attention that patriarchal side of yourself that only enjoys you when a man approves of you you gotta break that shit and do it now please i'm practically begging you this feels like when your big sister sits you down like in her bedroom and like gets real fucking serious with you but we gotta have these conversations every once in a while and i really hope that i am getting to some of you and maybe helping some of you channel that energy in a positive way anyways let's smoke a bowl oh fuck america needs a fucking bowl right now jesus christ um we deserve it we deserve it we deserve a little bowl at what time is it like 10 30 we deserve that

okay so let me load one let's take the edge off let's see what questions you guys have on your mind also we're bringing back uh voice messages yay everybody round of applause i want to hear your beautiful voices i want to hear what's on your mind election day i woke up and i literally ate an edible at 8am I haven't had a moment like that since like freshman year of college where it's like I'm going to ingest 100 milligrams of THC this early in the morning but I needed it I definitely needed it anyways cheers to my girls we will make it we will survive as long as we have each other we have something let's hit this shit also if you thought i was a misandrist before you are in for a big surprise literally the entire

week anytime a man smiled at me i'm like what the fuck are you smiling for what the fuck are you smiling for also i'd like to make it clear the reason that i'm preaching about this whole like don't give pussy to trump supporters and stop with the situation steps stop with the casual sex because it's not safe is because a majority of those Trump supporters are young men they are radicalized young men and also let's talk about the whole like moving across to a different country fantastic amazing but this right-wing propaganda is not just an America thing America is kind of like the ripple effect of what happens to a lot of other countries not to like put us in a position of power or say we're important or anything like I don't give a fuck it's just a pattern that I

have observed but a lot of these countries are turning very right wing as well so fuck it i'm gonna stay here and i'm gonna do the fight here i'm gonna show up for my girls here i'm not going to abandon you i'm going to keep fucking fighting but yes a lot of these trump supporters are young men who are our age that's why i preach the casual sex is not safe for you sure it's the old people but unfortunately it is the young people as well they have been radicalized online because they have no positive male figures in their life so they find themselves in pipelines that are unhealthy for any person to be viewing or watching and it is a slippery slope after that be aware who the fuck you're talking to be aware who you are giving pussy to did they earn that shit they they need to

earn access to you at this point and if they don't do not let them in i always ask what the vibe is and I feel like this really sums it up they said tired the world is dying planning for the future real at this time it can feel like fuck it why the fuck do I not give up but that's exactly what they fucking want that is exactly what they want they want you to be so sad and so tired and so over it that you just submit and you give in but that's not the way I fucking raised you girls you better stand the fuck up you better hope and dream harder than you ever have you better fight and show up harder than you ever have in your entire life um i fear we have no choice i fear this is the only option at least it's a good option i am never the proponent for laying

down and dying when you see a obstacle in front of you you better brush that dirt off and get the fuck up and keep going and keep going 10 times as hard okay I get it the world's dying it feels like it's over it feels like everything is spiraling out of control but the older women in my life at least the ones that I have talked to recently have felt this way before and they've overcome it before so I do need you to hold hope please please I'm begging please hold a little hope and find comfort in the communities around you and show up for the people in your life especially when it feels like on a big scale um you're out of control you have no control your voice doesn't matter in the big scale it might not and that's okay because that will always

be out of your control at least right now you can look at the people in your life look at the people you are choosing to include in your life look at the conversations you're have you're having look at the community that you are building around you and showing up for you can choose to do good there and that will make a direct impact and that is exactly what we need to do during this time also with the whole like earth thing best believe that i'm going to as many national parks as i can i deserve to see as many beautiful things and this beautiful world as much as i can especially while i'm young and i can get out and i can enjoy it the world's not fucking imploding yet you cannot give up on these beautiful places going to the tetons and going to yellowstone really changed

my perspective completely about like travel i'm the kind of person who's like yeah i'll travel here and there but that was such a beautiful jaw-dropping mind-altering experience and no it did not come from drugs believe it or not it literally just came from being in nature and seeing how beautiful this world is is that gave me hope and gave me the sense of like joyous peace and I think we all are deserving of that and especially when it's out here and it's pretty much free go take advantage of it go get out go travel go to that country go to that beautiful mountain range go camping if you've never if you're something that you've always wanted to do and you've never had the time to do it go do it now you are deserving of that and mother earth

needs to be appreciated and loved too you know she's not gone yet we can't mourn her we need to show up for her and experience her and love her the best we can in this time that we have right now because she has so much to offer us if there's one thing women know it's giving and giving and giving and never receiving so go out and give back to her go out and enjoy her and show her love and show her appreciation because she deserves it in this time too how to be smart with money i think we need to talk about this too because a lot of the people who are like now googling what a tariff is oh my fucking god oh my god you guys i didn't realize the general public was this fucking stupid anyways if we're being real prices are about to skyrocket they are okay we've never seen gas this

low it is about to probably triple yeah it's not gonna be good hey not to fear monger so sorry i just want to break it to you we might as well plan for the worst or not even the worst what it's gonna be there is no more 400 bags there is no more you know i'm gonna go casually spend 60 a lot of the money management that i would like to preach to you guys right now is not go buy the latest nft go buy this stock go invest your money here the best investment you can give for your money is not spending it on things that are not valuable to you you do not need that brand new Hello Kitty random fucking thing. That's an extra $40. You have plenty. If you want to celebrate here and there for special occasions, I get it. But those random Thursday 2am $120 purchases are

not going to cut it anymore. It's not the best way to save your money is not spending on stupid things. And I started realizing this more when my frontal lobe developed. I think the instant hit of dopamine of shopping and spending and opening packages was something that I was really addicted to when I was younger but as soon as like my brain started forming and I started looking at things from a whole perspective and not just a right now feeling I started realizing how important money is and how much I really don't need that thing I don't need it I don't need it $18 coffees bitch i can go make that at home for 75 cents $95 dinner three times a week girl cook your food at home you do not need that brand new sweater that is 90 plastic that is

$85 be real about what you're spending money on be real about what you need in your life that is the best money management tip i can give anybody listening to this also don't take out credit cards do not take out credit cards i just got my first credit card and i'm 25 and i waited a long time um which probably isn't great for my credit building but i knew i was not in the mind space where i could manage money accordingly and i could spend responsibly so i knew i shouldn't be allowed to have one the banks they don't give a fuck they want you to overspend they want you to be in debt do not give into what corporations are trying to trap you in i knew i was not mentally ready so i did not take one out now i have one if i spend even 25 on my credit card i'm like

panicking i'm like oh my god i shouldn't have even used it what the fuck um it has helped my credit because i have one now and i do use it responsibly but if you think you cannot be responsible with money there is no reason you should be spending money that you do not have and that is exactly what a credit card provides for you you do not need that credit card get in control of your spending and your budgeting and then you get a credit card hey Hannah um love you so much my question is how do you figure out where the heck you want to like live and settle down um I'm like in my mid-20s and um I moved out to Oregon from the Midwest you know big dreams and it's great i hear but it is hella expensive and i don't know i consider like moving back home but

then i question if i'm going to be happy there and yeah i just don't have a sense of direction of where i should be so um if you have anything helpful i'd love to hear from you bye okay so i'm kind of also in this point in my life where it's like you have the option to make big changes now um I feel like when you're younger and you don't have as much security as in like job money community things like that you don't want to make those big changes um but also on the flip side it kind of makes you more free if you think about it that way um but when you're older you have more security so you do have the option to make big changes a little bit more often whether it's career changes uh family changes house changes things like that um and this is something that

I'm thinking about now where it's like do I want to live in Kansas City my entire life also with the state of the world do I want to move to maybe a state that is more valuing of who I am as a person and protecting my rights and the people that I love's rights that's a big thing that I'm thinking about but I think to kind of make these decisions without having to commit and move I do think you just have to travel I think you should travel I think if there's like random towns that you're interested in go there and spend a weekend there pretend you're living there in that weekend and explore if it's something that makes you happy explore the cost of items cook yourself a meal see how much it costs you talk to the community around you go to

a local coffee shop and you know pick up a conversation with that stranger sitting alone ask them about how they like living there tell them you're maybe thinking about it one big thing about me is like I would love to live in LA I would love to also it's very expensive so maybe it's something that I can't do right now but maybe it's a future goal of mine when I accomplish maybe more financially stable objectives in my life but I do think the best way to really understand and figure out like where you want to live and what community you want to live in is to travel and go experience it and it doesn't have to be for a week it doesn't have to be for a month go for a quick little weekend getaway um and try it out go see what the community is like go talk to people go

immerse yourself fully and if you cannot live in the fantasy then you probably can't live there also if you are into astrology um this is kind of a fun way of looking at it oh let's get spiritual is cartography astro cartography cartography is making maps astro cartography is how places transform us um but look into your astro cartography and look at where your fate line is on the map um mine literally goes over california so no wonder i'm drawn to there but that's kind of like a fun little way of checking it out and it's like oh where is this place what is this place maybe that's the next place i travel maybe that's the next place i check it out um but my friends who are big astrologers and really you know base their

life off the stars um they have moved to places where their astrocartography line follows through and they have completely transformed as human beings in ways that i could have never imagined and are very successful so if you want to get spiritual with it look into that as well but i'm definitely not against moving especially during this time like i talked to my boyfriend luckily missouri did um constitutionally protect we did vote there was a win believe it or not and missouri did vote to constitutionally protect women's rights to abortion which i think is amazing because previously when i lived here i had no rights for like four years i had no rights to abortion um let alone health care if you guys didn't know i hadn't i wanted an iud i think it

was right before biden got elected i wanted i needed a new one i need a new iud and since Missouri voted away abortion rights and it was very very strict they viewed IUDs as a form of abortion because it can terminate a pregnancy after you do get pregnant and I literally had to cross state lines and go get one and pay fully out of pocket oh oh my god like what the fuck what kind of world are we living in so yeah moving is such a bad idea especially moving to a place that maybe prioritizes you a little bit more in its politics speaking of someone said question of the day where is this cute weedy green jacket from this is a matching green juicy couture tracksuit shout out this is the um if you guys remember me ranting about men literally raiding

the fucking thrift store yeah hate them endlessly yes i said hate come for me this is the one thing i walked away with so who really won here honestly i think i did because this tracksuit is so cute i've really been into juicy tracksuits this um year especially as it gets colder my comfortability like i don't give a fuck about being cute ideally i'd like to be cute and comfy there is like a middle ground you can find so i love like a really long fluffy robe to keep me warm in the winter I love a matching set especially juicy couture velour oh my god tongue twister tracksuit I have one in green I have one in red I also want one in black maybe pink I want a collection now that I've gotten into it I also love just like a simple matching workout set matching pjs something where

it's like an air of comfortability but also cute you know that's kind of how I like to live my life in the winter hi big sis what does being mindful look like to you um especially right now I think the best thing you can do to be mindful of yourself is be aware of your emotions and your feelings and process them fully and not give them weight but address them and move forward I think that's how I be mindful in my everyday life especially when my emotions are sometimes really out of my control understanding that they're out of my control and understanding that maybe they just need to be felt and seen in order to pass is really what's kept me pretty level-headed and clear recently give you the real tea on mindfulness it's not this bullshit woo woo i'm just gonna

choose to be positive every single fucking day of my life that's not possible and if you try to live to those standards you're going to be a shell of a human being feel those emotions it's okay to be angry it's okay to be sad it's okay to be spiteful it's okay to have negative emotions it does not make you a negative person when you don't feel them and they start to consume you and you start to relay those emotions over and over and over and over again because you're not letting them out of your body that's when you become a negative person feel those fucking emotions let them go your mind is like a flowing river and if you try and hold it up with a dam by refusing to feel it and refusing to let it flow yeah you're gonna get blocked up it's gonna be rough so just let

it flow through you address them and move forward i also think a big thing for me especially when it comes to being mindful of myself is not denying myself self-sabotage is denying yourself of your true self i think um denying yourself or ignoring yourself or putting yourself aside um is spiritual suicide i think it will make you a shell of a human being i think you will behave in much much more self-sabotage ways put yourself aside into negative and harmful situations being mindful includes being mindful of myself and my feelings and my desire and my needs and not putting those aside not self-sabotaging myself not viewing myself as a secondary person but in fact the most important person in my life that's how i choose to stay mindful as well i feel like

mindfulness has gotten whitewashed a little bit into the pro positive cursive sign hanging above you know someone's kitchen when in fact mindfulness can be pretty radical it could be pretty it can be a self-survival technique and i think it is a self-survival technique that we need to be extra aware of especially during this time especially when you don't know how to de-center men in your life get mindful and get mindful of yourself specifically speaking of will i ever be good enough for a man to like me back and treat me right you are good enough stop letting these men who do not give a fuck about you convince you that you are not a whole human being and good enough exactly as you are and stop giving into those mindsets and you know pining after their approval

because they do not give a fuck about you and you will not change their mind you are self-sabotaging in this moment bitch get up stand up believe in yourself stop prioritizing men in your life honestly i never make it to these things but now that i am i have one question for you so me and my ex broke up like around june and i need advice on how to get over him because he's already has a new girlfriend and everything and i'm still stuck thinking about him not all the time but you know it still hurts and i don't even want to like date like i don't even want to like like go find new guys like or get under new guys like i generally just want to better myself but it's hard because i haven't been able to do that for so long so do you have any advice on like

how to bounce back and like start loving yourself again even though you haven't for a long long long time because at this point i don't know what to do and i've been so depressed and i had to drop one of my classes so like please help okay i didn't realize you guys could submit videos to my questionnaire on instagram and you're such a cutie so thank you for submitting your video that's super fucking cute um i feel you i feel you um especially when you are i feel like in the past when i was um younger i'd be like you just need to get out there and sleep with a new man and that was definitely young and naive advice I think exactly where your heart is is where you need to go you need to self-betterment when you're in a moment where the universe is desiring for you

to change in order to learn your lesson and in order to move forward and you don't change it's normal that you're going to feel stuck in the past you know this thing happened in June you guys broke up he's already moved on and the reason he has moved on is because he has prioritized himself the most radical but also challenging thing you can do for yourself right now is to fully embrace yourself to fully uplift yourself and to go after all those desires that you want to put yourself in the uncomfortable safe situations you know that you have been desiring to see in your life whether it's a class a course an experience a place you need to follow that path of change because through change you will outgrow the situation you will have a new perspective and

it will be in your past now when you feel like you're still living in that time in that place in that moment and you want to escape the universe and your soul also wants you to escape as well and that can only happen through change that can only happen through self-betterment that can only happen through transformation and it doesn't have to be difficult it simply is addressing yourself your desires your wants and your needs and not denying yourself of those things okay so say you're in school you know you had this passion for this one thing you got your heart broken you've been in this really sad depressing state for so long and all of a sudden you have to drop a class you are letting that man who no longer thinks about you get in the way of you and your dreams

that is something you should never let happen and in fact recognizing realizing and making the change to work harder will transform you it will it will transform you it will push you into a new direction simply choosing yourself in that moment and choosing to better yourself and choosing to take on the transformation to stop denying yourself naturally the change will occur um stepping out of your comfort zone and going after these things that really your heart desires but you are maybe a little bit afraid of the change will naturally come but you cannot deny yourself and you cannot keep living in the past and i know you desire it because you said you know you want self-betterment you just have this pain in your heart it's okay to feel pain and to feel anger

and to feel despair and to keep pushing forward you don't have to stay stuck there you can feel those hard things and do the hard thing in the process you just have to have strength and desire and perseverance within yourself and i know you have it i know you have it so let this be your motivational speech that you needed to get up to go after your dreams to be that girl you are always wanted to be and to not let anybody get in the fucking way of what you want because best believe that man isn't he's not he's going after everything he wants and he dreams and he desires no matter who he fucks over which is not the right way to go about it but see how far he has come compared to where you have you kind of have to get a little selfish during this time and I'm

going to give you I'm going to give you the okay right now to get selfish to focus on you selfishness doesn't have to be this bad thing that everybody talks about i mean when you're putting people in other harms away then sure but i think right now women need to be very selfish they need to prioritize themselves higher than anybody else around them especially the men around them i think that is a safety aspect just in general and i'm telling you right now it's okay go after everything you desire don't let anybody get in the way and don't let yourself get in the way that's also very important someone asked what are some simple joys to focus on in these trying times feeling so unmotivated so if you guys watch my cooking videos you know like me and the squirrels

we are basically symbiotic those are my children they are constantly around and election morning i woke up and i felt so fucking dead inside and then i looked outside and squirrels were going about you know their life as usual at least you have consistency in that aspect the world around you honestly does not know there's a change and does not give a fuck it's gonna keep spinning so you gotta keep spinning with it you know what i mean and i did kind of find a joy in that i was like okay you know everything's not on fire even though i feel this way it's not the reality of it of what it is the squirrels are still here eating the birds are still chirping outside they're still visiting me at the same hours i think in that simple consistency i was able to find peace and

a little bit of joy um also the fact that i still have those things around me that bring me joy you know doing my art and drawing that still brings me pleasure and joy um cooking having my hobbies having the things that you know i can escape into those things are still consistent within my life being able to go to the local park and sit in nature and fucking touch grass when i'm feeling like shit's out of control that shit still makes me feel joyful feel hopeful and feel more connected um going out to lunch with my friends and being able to see their faces that i've seen for 25 years and share the same conversations and you know even though we're all fucking pissed have a little laugh and see joy in our community and create it within each other

um i think that was so important as well seeing that also seeing the motivation in the community um seeing how many of you guys are wanting resources and wanting to do better and to reach out to people and to show up for their community that is something that i found joy in as well also giving back to my community that is something that has brought me a little bit more peace and feel more control in the situation hi hannah hi queen i just want to say i love you and i love your podcast so much um i am so lost right now like i'm currently working in hospitality i'm a waitress and it's like i know it's a good way to make money but it's not what i want to do with my life and i'm trying to make a plan of what i want to do with my life but i just i have no idea and

I don't know I just have this fear that I'm not gonna figure out how to reach my goals and figure out how to make my dreams come true what would you suggest I do because yeah I'm just feeling a little bit lost like I there's so many things I want to do but like this fear takes over anyway it's about to end love you I love you okay so this will probably be our last question of the day I love hearing your guys's voices more more voice calls more voice call-ins I love you guys and I know I kind of went on a rant for the first 30 minutes but I think it was necessary um especially right now but um I really enjoy having these back so thank you to everybody who sent a voice note um if I

didn't get to yours if you don't want to submit another and you want me to see yours next week just like re-dm me and be like i sent one i sent one check it out um i will see it eventually i promise um sorry i didn't get through so many questions but i think this has been a good episode so far i think this is a great one to also end off on where it feels like a little bit of like paralysis um i am currently in your position so i see you girl me too i'm also a waitress I get it and it's gotten to the point where it's like you know I've had my fun I have really enjoyed this job and I thought it was a really great job especially for my young 20s and making good money and getting good social interaction and making connections and things like that

but yeah it is not something I want to do the rest of my life and I kind of got to a point especially recently where I started having a little bit of panic about it and I was like I cannot keep doing this I cannot keep doing this what the fuck am I gonna do and it sent me into a bit of a choice paralysis like I said where it was like there are so many options out there I just don't know how to choose I don't know what to choose I'm so afraid of making the wrong decision and I can't make the right decision I don't know what the right decision is ultimately you will not know what the right decision is until you just get the balls to make a choice until you just start pushing yourself in one direction I have

hope for you though because the people that you see around you where it's like they're miserable and they know they're miserable but they just keep giving into the misery because it's what they're used to they don't feel that fear they don't feel that desire they don't feel that want or that need and the fact that you are feeling it gives me hope that you will figure it out and you will get out of the situation that you're in period if you have longing for it you will eventually find yourself to that thing now figuring out what you do want to do it can look like many different options many different choices many different paths career paths to go down but ultimately until you narrow it down and simply close your eyes and point and try something new

you won't know you won't know you cannot thank yourself into a perfect situation you cannot thank yourself into the right choice and in fact the more you think the more you distance yourself from having the courage of choosing and trying something new and that's something i've really had to tell myself recently because i'm the kind of person who it's like i want to think and think and think about things before i do it because i have so much anxiety inside myself and something about my brain tells me like if i overthink it then it will become the right choice that's not how it works i'll give you an allegory that i think will help you so when i was younger i used to go cliff jumping a lot like cliff diving um especially when we were at the lake well obviously

when we were out there like I'm not just jumping off a cliff into concrete duh um but I used to do a lot of cliff jumping a lot of like high probably 30 feet jumps into the water and the one thing I used to get so caught up with is just standing up there and thinking and thinking and I would be the person who always jumps last because I could always try to tell myself well I can think myself into feeling comfortable with this naturally any sort of change especially a high jump mentally like a high jump into a new career it's not gonna feel safe it's not gonna feel safe because it's new you don't know what to expect that makes it feel scary the people who had more fun and more success and more jumps and better jumps and who could backflip off the cliff

without an ounce of fear were the ones who walked up there did not think twice and just fucking did it they're the ones who got further ahead i stood there and i would wait and i would think and i would oh but maybe you know i can just convince myself that it's not going to be scary and it would wind me up into a ball of anxiety to the point where like jumping off of these things that sure were a little scary felt 10 times more scary than they should have been sometimes you just have to see the path for what it is and make a jump now figuring out what path that is I think a brain dump will really help you getting real about who you are and what accomplishments you've had what skills you can offer and write down like five to ten jobs that you can apply for

go out apply to all of them as many as you can fucking find put yourself out there go for big things bitch if a felon can be president of the united states you better fucking dream big okay i understand you uh had a british accent question mark i don't know um so i don't know if that allegory is going to hit correctly for you but still you need to dream big write down those things brain dump five to ten good jobs that you can apply for different paths you have dreamed of that you are desiring of apply for all of them see who gets back and pick a path and go after it but thinking yourself into a frenzy it's not going to help it's not going to help anything sometimes you just gotta say fuck it let's try this thing out it either works or it doesn't either way i've

learned something i've gained new skills and i've followed my heart and through that you will change into a better person you would change into a more confident person you will gather the skills necessary to be a confident successful person in any place that you go but i do have belief that you can do these things because i see that you are desiring of them having desire will get you further than anything else having passion for yourself and wanting to do better will get you further than anything else thinking and overthinking and thinking thinking thinking it's not going to get you where you want to go sometimes you just got to make that big fucking jump and through that action you will learn more about yourself than anything else but yeah i think it's a lot of

things especially for young 20 year olds to go through where it's like okay i'm here but i'm desiring transformation and i don't know which way to transform you don't have to know all you have to do is push yourself in one direction and try it out and through that you will learn more about yourself than anything else i promise you try try try again i don't give a fuck if you fail in fact i think failing teaches you more than anything else i have failed a lot in my life and I am more proud of myself than anybody else I don't give a fuck if I failed at least at least I tried bitch you didn't even have the confidence to try you know what I mean like I don't care to share my failures because I understand that I learned so much about myself through them I

learned what I liked most importantly what I didn't like and I at least tried I at least had confidence in myself to try so get out there you deserve good things you deserve to prioritize yourself you deserve to go after your dreams you deserve to be safe you deserve to have people in your life that care about you you deserve to live a good life you deserve to have a bright future but the only person that is going to create any of those things for you is yourself show up for yourself be kind to yourself be kind to the people around you show up for yourself in your community be intentional about the people you surround yourself with be intentional about who you are becoming because you will become her i promise you all the people here are so powerful and so

incredible and so driven and i see so much in you guys i want you to see that too get a little selfish you deserve it girl you deserve a little selfishness right now okay especially in this time bitch dream big i love you guys i'm sorry if this was a little bit more of like a angry episode but you know tis the season what can i say i think i needed to get my energy out and hopefully this was a little bit more of a cathartic episode for you guys um hopefully i answered your questions accordingly and yes we will get to so many more next week um you guys had a lot on your mind so keep those things we will get to them um but yes please be safe be smart protect yourself show up for yourself and get selfish and stay sexy let's smoke one more bowl

let's smoke one more bowl this one goes out to all my girls who have big hearts big dreams big desires don't give up on yourself cheers i love having my little stuffed animals on the pod they bring me so much peace and joy i was having such a bad week i had to go to my parents house go up into the boxes in the attic and pull out my childhood blankie to sleep with yeah that's the kind of week i've been having anyways if you want to see more from me you know where to find me instagram.com slash hannah marlene that's where i upload the questionnaire every sunday so if you want your question answered that's where you would submit it

you can also dm me a voice message oh my gosh or you can submit a video to the questionnaire that was so cute either way dm me a voice message video whatever it is i would love to hear from you guys i love hearing your your beautiful voices and i love answering your questions thank you for being here every week not only showing up for me but showing up for yourself as well we have created such a beautiful and amazing community and i'm so lucky to have you all and hopefully we can all stay strong for each other throughout this journey um patreon.com slash smoke says shawty if you want to see more from me i do upload an extra episode every single week um i answer every single one of your questions there as well plus more fun things

we have a full moon coming up so i'll probably discuss that there i will also include the link for women's resources especially here in america also outside of america there was really good birth control information on there as well um in the bio of this episode and yeah with that being said i love you all stay safe stay sexy stay kind and i will see you all next week