Smoke Sesh - ghost stories, princess treatment & partying 101

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Hello hotties and happy Halloween (or hottieween) today we have an extra fun extra long episode for you all. We chat what I’ve been up to and how I’ll be celebrating this Halloween, we also talk partying 101 and how to survive a night out, this years costumes, college drop out & how to explain it, sleep routines, awkwardness, dating your ex, I’m a mess, lung health, actions vs words, you deserve better & princess treatment, seasonal depression, confessionals ep updates, finding clothing and accepting body changes, ghost stories and are ghosts real? Palestine conflict, disrespect, Scorpio season advice and handling stress, I hope you all have an extra fun Halloween and I can’t wait to hear all your confessionals next week! Follow me on insta to see what I’ll be dressing up as @hannahmarlene and I’ll see you all next week! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Happy Halloween everybody, welcome back to another episode of Smoke Sash. i am so excited to be back with you guys on this very special halloween episode oh my god i can't believe our usual tuesdays fall on halloween i'm sure a bunch of you guys were getting a little

crazy this weekend getting a little wild this weekend i remember back in the day when i was in back in the day as if i'm like fucking 60 years old no like a couple years ago when i was in college and like we took our partying very seriously I'm talking if Halloween fell on a Monday or something or even a Tuesday we partied Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday we rested Monday we rested Tuesday actual Halloween probably partied again like we I had a costume for every single party for every single day I also had a bad drinking habit so I felt like I was dying the entire time but you know it's just so much fun but holy shit if it is just not a fucking marathon so shout out to everybody who went through that this weekend I definitely did

not I'm getting a little too old to be drinking every single night like that I think my brain would have melted in my head and oozed out through my ears if I tried to do that especially after just like partying for so long um like i've put my time in i'm good with a one night thing so tonight me and my bestie and my boyfriend are gonna go to a rave there's always an annual halloween rave in my city um ls dream is coming so i'm gonna walk my ass up in my cute little alice in wonderland costume of a couple little you know mushroom chocolate squares and i'm gonna go party and I'm gonna go have a good night you know what I mean celebrate a little let the crazy out you know what I mean um when my boyfriend first met me actually I I was deep into my Molly

phase actually I wasn't deep into it I was kind of on the outer skirts of it I was rounding it off realizing yeah girl we cannot be doing this every single fucking night if you want to survive and actually be a functioning human being so when he met me I was like yeah I'm going to this rave and I'm going to this rave and I'm going to this party and I'm doing this drug and I'm crazy wild girly and so that's what like he was expecting although he doesn't do all of that that's what he was expecting when we first started dating so I think that he's he's kind of glad that that fizzled out and I'm not out every single night because that is just unhealthy not only for myself but also like if I have a partner um but he also understands that you know once a month maybe twice a month

I have to let whatever demon resides inside my body I have to let her out and I have to let her free and I have to be just like a unhinged gremlin for the night so I'm assuming that's what tonight will be um honestly um but I I love him for that like thank you thank you babe like we went out one night and I woke up with like actual leaves and dirt in my hair my hair still pinned up millions of body pins in my hair makeup still on half a contact in my fucking eye dirt and full leaves stuck in my hair he rolled over he looked at me he was like you were so much fun last night babe like I love you so much what what are you kidding me that's what you need in your life like if I rolled over and he was like wow you were a mess last night I probably would have just like jumped

out the fucking window are you kidding me so the fact that he reassures me and is like no no I'll be here he doesn't really get fucked up like he'll have a couple drinks but he will take care of me you do your thing you be as crazy wild as you want I'll make sure you get home safe love you that's what you need in your life that is exactly exactly what I need in my life like when I threw up in the sink the other week he was a little upset about that one I get it I get it but still he was like lol let's laugh it off this was it was funny you know like sorry you felt sick glad I didn't end up on the floor but also let's not have that happen again so I'm excited to see what i get up to tonight yeah i'm gonna be alice in wonderland if you want to see my costume

follow me on instagram at hannah marlene i'll be posting a lot of unhinged photos and videos tonight i'm sure i'll also be making a vlog for the patreon shout out to my patreon girlies it'll be a drunk messy vlog you guys have seen a lot of those throughout the year that i've been on patreon um but yeah i don't think i have much else to catch you guys up on i've just been working my my little ass off i've been making more t-shirts our pre-orders officially closed so i will be shipping those out soon the t-shirts are almost to my house so i will be packaging them up and sending them off and they will all be at your house very shortly thank you for all the support and all the love i'm feeling all the warmth and the joy today and i just really appreciate you

guys with that being said before we get into it the depths of it all you know i feel like i feel like we need to smoke a little bowl i do i do i feel like we need to just celebrate a little bit on this beautiful holiday so let me go a little bowl real quick this is your sign if you want to smoke with me let's get into it can we also talk about how stressful it is to be an undecisive girl on halloween like ordering a costume finally deciding on one and having to decide quickly because all the sizes are sold out and then finally ordering it like a week before halloween and then just like hoping and praying and hoping and praying and constantly checking the shipping updates to make sure that it gets in in time oh my god the most stressful experience

of my entire life also one of you guys wore one of the got weed shirts for your halloween costume i think you were like a weed fairy or something shout out to you so cute i posted on my story but she was wearing like a weed like you know fairy wings but it was like a weed leaf and then the got weed t-shirt i was like i'm obsessed actually a fairy smoke mother and i love that for you anyways let's hit this bong and then let me get into how i'm preparing for a crazy night out to give you guys some party tips and tricks. Cheers. Ooh, that was yummy. Okay, let's get into how I am preparing for the nights. And through my years of partying, I have kind of perfected this recipe and perfected how to go out with minimal hangover the next day and also how to

treat a hangover the best way possible. So this morning I woke up and immediately had two espresso shots that was more so for this podcast because I need my brain to be like up and functioning in about 30 minutes um but also great advice morning of okay we probably have things to do right after this podcast I'm like I gotta go run errands I gotta go to CVS to get fake eyelashes I gotta do a full TLC body shave and self-tan moment like I need some energy so love some espresso but also the most important thing you don't want to chug all your water right before you go out you want to chug at least 62 ounces is that a lot i'm trying to think i don't know what's that like four or five cups of water you want to do that in the morning ideally okay

you want to drink all your morning all your water in the morning so your body is adequately prepared and adequately hydrated before you go out you don't want to chug all that water while you're out okay and you don't want to chug all that water after it's going to make you feel sick it's not going to fix what you have just previously done by drinking so much you want to do it morning of also just in general you will feel better you will feel more motivated you will your brain will function better if you are hydrated so i will be drinking so much fucking water and then i'm also going to be following it up with a ginger shot. If you're a bloating girl like I am, sometimes I drink and I don't know what specific type of alcohol does this, but sometimes I drink and I

get really bloated. So recently I have been loving these ginger shots. I just get them from Trader Joe's, but I do ginger shot and water on a empty stomach in the morning. This will help with my uploading later on in the day. Now, last night, I was even preparing as well. I know, two days ahead, what in the world? I had a heavy carb, heavy protein dinner. So, I had butter chicken. We ordered butter chicken and some pita bread and some rice. I feasted last night. I had a big meal to prepare for today. Ginger shot, lots of water, hanging out, preparing myself. I got to do my everything shower i gotta go run some errands now for lunch i'm definitely gonna have like an apple and then also some steamed dumplings because they're pretty protein carb heavy which will be

great for the night um but also they're not super overwhelmingly filling you want to get some fiber in there love a little apple maybe some peanut butter um and then yeah i'm gonna have some dumplings some green beans you need to eat you need to eat before you go out girls you have to eat you need to eat food you need to eat meals regularly okay to keep your body functioning and to keep it from freaking out so stay on that routine too many girls are like yeah i'm gonna have a slice of bread before i go out girl you're gonna be blacked out in an alley somewhere you don't need that you don't need that to happen to you so eat some food before you go out i'm gonna also have during pre-game we're gonna make espresso martinis i'm gonna make jello shots

and I'm also going to have a charcuterie board out for everybody at the pregame so then they have some little snackies they can have some cheese some crackers they can have some fresh fruit maybe some veggies a little snack on the stomach before we go out so you're not completely empty something small light a little protein in there maybe some prosciutto maybe some crackers for some um carbs but charcuterie board that is like a move when you are an adult and you're hosting a pre-game you need at least like two cocktails and a snack charcuterie board it's the perfect snack to ever everybody loves one everybody loves cheese and crackers are you kidding me espresso martinis i can't wait to make those jello shots can't wait to make those also i'm switching it up this year

a little bit I ordered the the Bella Hadid non-alcoholic drinks kin euphorics I think that's what it's called I want to give that a shot as well because I'm the kind of person who I've realized I get so drunk so fast not because I'm like shots shots I need more alcohol I need more alcohol it's just because I'm awkward and I like to have something in my hand and when I don't know what to do I like to take a sip of something whatever it is and that's why I go through drinks so fast so instead of just refilling my cup with more alcohol I wanted to refill it with maybe I'm gonna try out like a non-alcoholic drink this year and see if that kind of helps with the next day hangover and helps with the amount I'm drinking and helps in those like

awkward uncomfortable situations where you don't know what to do with your hands like let's hold something non-alcoholic so we're not getting too sloshed tonight you know what I mean so be trying that as well um you want to take two ibuprofen for you before you go out um you want to kind of cut off uh not completely but once again you want to chug most of your water in the morning so then the water you're having at night is just like you know a normal amount of water so you're not having to pee all the time because that's super annoying I'm going to a concert I want to stand in that one spot pretty much all night and not have to move um especially going with friends like this is a group i don't have to leave and come back i just want to be here and i don't want

to pee my pants so i'll keep it to the alcohol and a little bit of water little snackies before ibuprofen before liquid iv before you go out okay get those electrolytes already in you pre do the pre-step to what you're also gonna have to do in the morning I love a liquid IV before I go out and honestly you do all that you're good to go go out have your fun be a little crazy be a little wild the next morning oh and if you want to be extra extra good to your next morning self before you leave set a glass of water or like a water bottle right next to your bed maybe some ice in there okay because you're gonna get home and you're gonna be like stumbling towards the sink to try and find water just pre-set it up put two ibuprofens next to your bed

put a water bottle next to your bed maybe a trash can if you need it go out have fun prepare for your future self the next morning it's gonna be a little rough all right sleep as much as you can if you can't sleep try and get a good night's rest in um especially so your body can process the alcohol or whatever you've been doing it has time to um i'm a thrower upper i'm sorry tmi sometimes i just feel like it's better to get out of my body if i feel like i feel like shit i'm like i might as well just get rid of it so if you do feel that way i really recommend you know just pulling trig doing what you have to do um it will make you feel immensely better just getting that out of your system and not having your body process all that alcohol but in the morning two

ibuprofen chug as much water as you can liquid iv take another nap don't look at your phone don't look at your phone go back to bed wake up you will feel immensely better because the water has kicked in the liquid IV has kicked in while you're napping the ibuprofen has kicked in while you're napping this is when you wake up probably like 11 12 o'clock not gonna lie this is when you check your phone because your brain is gonna be in a better state to be like what the fuck did I do last night let me look at all these embarrassing pictures of myself let's get the recap of what the happened and then you're gonna want a big meal a big meal big hearty carby protein-y meal personally I my old go-to meal was okay everybody get in the car we're going to like an old diner

and I'm gonna go get a shit ton of scrambled eggs a shit ton of hash browns and some toast and we're gonna down that like maybe a Denny's run whatever you need to do maybe a Waffle House run love a Waffle House moment but I used to be a big like breakfast girl now I love pho okay when I'm hungover or sick or sad the best cure is a giant bowl of beef pho with extra sriracha on top extra jalapeno so fucking good so tomorrow I'll probably go out for lunch and i'm probably gonna go get some pho go next door get some coffee get a little pastry come home chill the fuck out maybe edit some photos that we took before we went out oh so much fun and usually that's my going out routine but really the liquid iv before and after

you go out enough water in the morning before you go out pre-setting up what you need when you get home and making sure you're eating regular meals if you do that you'll survive the night you will have zero hangover you will be good to go I love you party safely party responsibly but also remember to have a lot of fun can we also talk about how incredible the costumes this year are I want to make like a compilation of just like all my favorite costumes that I've seen but people have been going all out and I am obsessed with it I feel like it's because I don't know the generation who has kind of grown up now and is like going out and actually dressing themselves up have been wanting to do this for so long and we are just such creative

people and we really get into it whether it's funny or silly or like slutty sexy you know like we're gonna have fun with it and we're gonna be in character all fucking night and i love that so shout out to all the halloween costumes i've seen you guys have been doing so fucking good i cannot wait to put on my costume it's so cute like a little slutty i got like this alice dress with like a huge bow i have a bunny backpack um i got like a black ribbon bow for my hair i got some knee highs i got little white ruffly bloomers to wear under it it's gonna be so cute i am gonna have a fucking blast um and i can't wait to show you guys oh i love this question someone asked fun things to do if you aren't a party person for halloween but too old to trick or treat this is a

great question because the past two years I really haven't I mean I've participated in Halloween but I haven't participated in the way people my age have been participating such as going out partying blacking out being all crazy and a part of me felt left out in a sense but also a part of me was like I can't do this right now I'm happy where I'm at because I was still celebrating in a sense but celebrating in the way that felt natural and comfortable to me at the time so one year like I went over to my parents for dinner we made like chili like we do every year reminded me of my childhood we ate and then I stayed over at their house so we could sit outside like next to a little bonfire and hand out candy to the kids and simply being there to hand out candy and see all

the kids costumes was so fun like I don't need to go door-to-door and trick-or-treat like being there to hand it out and like say hi to all the kids was just adorable and reminded me of being a child you know what I mean um even though I wasn't participating or like trick-or-treating or dressed up it was still fun to participate in the events and provide that magic for kids so I've done that before also my boyfriend has like um niece so we have gone trick-or-treating with her before just walked around the neighborhood um done our little thing you know went over to the family's house for dinner I've also had a Halloween where I was just like inside and I feel like you still need to celebrate in a way of like if you haven't carved pumpkins tonight's the night to do

it you know go to the fucking i don't know we have price shoppers here i'm trying to think of just like the grocery store go to the grocery store the pumpkins are gonna be on sale because it's halloween day get a pumpkin find a knife in your house carve it out while watching halloween town you know and turn off all the lights in your house light a candle set the ambiance maybe make yourself a cute little drink whether it's alcoholic or non-alcoholic and have fun eat a good meal whatever meal reminds you of like winter and warmth whether it's like chili or a soup or um i don't know whatever whatever cures your nostalgia and lean into that a little bit get your own private bag of candy put it in a bowl in your house so you can celebrate that way and

there's no wrong way to do Halloween like I've been partying blackout drunk on Halloween I've had years where I forgot it was Halloween and I did nothing I've had years where I handed out candy and they were all very intuitive to how I felt that year I've also gone out by myself on Halloween I've gone out to frat parties on Halloween I have like you there's so many different ways to celebrate and it's all very intuitive to how you feel or what you are feeling like you need to do that day so listen to that if you feel like you need to party go wild let it out go do that girl go have fun okay be safe be responsible but go have fun if you feel like you need to if you're like i'm over it like i really don't want to do this listen to that lean into it stay home make

yourself a good meal light some candles set the ambience watch a nostalgic movie get your favorite candy for yourself whatever you feel like is most important to you and how you want to celebrate that's the way to do it that's why halloween is so much fun hey miss queen hannah happy halloween it is my favorite fucking holiday and my birthday is tomorrow so i've been going around this week collecting up all my little birthday treats um except for fucking duncans because they don't do a birthday treat anymore just so you know they don't do a birthday treat they do three times points um any one day like three days around your birthday and it's like no bitch i want a a fucking treat give me a little treat anyway um I'm dropping out of college and I really

really need advice on like how to help people because I'm extremely confident in my decision I know that it's the right thing for me I've been so severely depressed ow for like years so I just kicked my fucking car um and I like need to be doing something else I just don't know how to explain and I know that I don't have to but I just like need a little bit of a little bit of guidance so love you queen happy early birthday once again you don't need to explain yourself to anybody honestly but I also understand wanting to have like a response in your back pocket um so I feel like the only people you really need to tell are like roommates if you're moving out like hey guys which they already probably know the tea they're probably supportive of you which

is great let them know the dates whatever and then also your parents because I'm assuming they're going to start freaking out um and really they don't care that you're dropping out I'm going to tell you this from a point of view of my parents freaking out on me they don't care that you're dropping out they just want to make sure you have a game plan they want to make sure this isn't just some random I'm going to drop out and do nothing they want to make sure you're doing it for a actual reason maybe your reason is oh my mental health is low because I am in a I'm studying something that I don't enjoy and I want to switch schools and study something else or I already have a job lined up and I want to switch to this career you have to have a game plan when you pitch it to

them or else they're gonna freak out because when I dropped out the first time I was like yeah I'm just gonna drop out they're like uh they started panicking so like what the fuck is this girl gonna do what what is she gonna do where is she gonna live what's gonna happen um and I had to kind of scramble and quickly be like no I'm gonna apply to art school which was a good choice but I should have had a game plan before I dropped out when I dropped out it was pretty random sporadic not good um so I say as long as you have a game plan which it sounds like you do it sounds like you know what you want to do when you are explaining this to them like hey I'm dropping out um but I do know I'm gonna switch to this so I do know what I want to do I do have

a game plan I feel like that really reassures people and then also if people bring it up and they're like oh I heard you drop out you can be like yeah because I'm doing this you know and it kind of takes the pressure off of the whole dropout portion and puts the pressure back onto the here is what I'm actually doing here's my passion here's what I'm gonna follow um and I think that is kind of the best kind of tool to keep in your back pocket when it comes to the awkward dropout conversation because i remember going to my first christmas dinner with my extended family and my aunt being like so what are you doing and i had to be like girl that is the craziest question you've ever asked me in my entire life like people are just they're a little weird a little controlling

when it comes to other people's lives don't let them put that weird pressure onto you you know what you want you know what you need you know what plan you're following as long as you understand it and are able to tell it to your parents at the very least you are good and if you're not even just your parents whoever's gonna freak out the most maybe it's your grandma maybe it's your brother maybe it's your sister whoever's gonna freak out the most as long as you have a game plan to explain to them you'll be good to go good luck girly happy birthday you will figure it out and get through it love you oh i've been dealing with this one too and i definitely need to fix it someone said how do I fix my sleep schedule mental illness plus general like life chaos got me

so felt I used to be the like go to bed at 10 wake up at 9 8 kind of girl I feel like that was manageable I like that timeline you know but recently I've been going by like 2 and waking up at 11 which is I just oof it's not working for me and it's been really great to sleep in but I'm realizing is not working for me because I I just have less hours in the day and waking up early makes me feel more productive even if I'm not doing anything because I've like actually been awake and I know coming up with winter sleeping in is not going to be good for me because the sun is going to set earlier and so I'm not going to be awake for as many sunshine bright hours of the day so i also need to sleep my what sleep my fix my sleep schedule my god my brain let me take a

sip of this espresso real quick jesus yeah no i need to fix mine as well so here's how i'm preparing planning a you need to understand it's going to be hard it's hard to train your brain to do anything going to the gym and getting up going to classes waking up earlier literally anything anything that you're training your brain to do it's going to be hard that doesn't mean it's impossible that doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing it it is just a obstacle that you're gonna have to overcome in a natural process of life so understand that whenever you feel that give it you know give that thought energy but also let it go you know it's not impossible you can do it but yes it's going to be hard everything good in your life is probably going to be hard so go after it don't

let that deter you you need to rely on alarms okay so when you need to go to bed i really recommend popping like a melatonin gummy or even like preparing for bed an hour before you usually go to bed especially if you know you like to scroll on your phone or you take extra time doing your self-care things like an hour before your actual bedtime or maybe even two however much time you need to prepare you know go around your house turn your lights off light a candle set the mood um do your self-care routine earlier um and then give yourself ample time to like sit scroll on your phone if you like to do that watch a movie if you like to do that but do it before your actual bedtime you know make sure you're doing all these things two hours before so then when your actual

bedtime comes up you will actually be tired pop a melatonin gummy if you need i've seen people with those like uh like bed sprays i don't know if you guys seen those on tiktoks they're like sleepy time bed sprays that just like knock people out i don't know if those work maybe i'll do a little test run for you guys but do whatever you gotta do to make sure you're going to bed on time and then once that time hits whether it's like okay i'm gonna go to bed at nine or i'm gonna go to bed at 10 turn your phone off you can have a screen going you know you can have a movie tv show whatever it is turn your phone off we'll set an alarm for whatever time you need to get up or two or three however many alarms you need um but turn your phone off put it away somewhere you

can't reach whether it's under your bed you know far enough away that you can't get up and get it or you don't want to you can't reach over and get it um and then i guarantee your brain will naturally do the thing and go to bed now it might take a few nights before your brain catches on to this but i guarantee it will as long as you set a routine and set a time that you are supposed to be you know clocking out for the night your brain will catch on might take a few days but it'll catch on now in the morning this might be the hardest part going to bed not so hard girl i shut my eyes and fall asleep anywhere but in the morning getting up my god that's the worst part especially in the winter when your bed your bed's so warm and outside so cold oh it's the worst

so here's what i'm doing to prepare a set alarms but don't set a bunch of them like here's here's what not to do and here's what to do so if you're getting up at seven don't set an alarm at like 7 7 15 7 30 7 45 that's giving you too much time in between to actually fall asleep what you need to do is set an alarm for 7 and then don't hit snooze set an alarm for 701 702 703 up to 705 you can set alarms you know what I mean don't space them out so much because you're actually going to enter sleep again whereas this will keep you up it'll be annoying which is what alarms are supposed to do ideally you're going to hear the alarm you're going to click it turn it off and you're going to sit your ass up and get up simply getting up out of bed will wake you up

immediately you will not be able to go back to bed well don't enter your bed again but in the colder months you know I don't want to get up it's fucking freezing I don't want to get out there so I ordered myself slippers so I could put slippers on so my feetsies are warm in the morning and I won't want to have I'll be able to step out of bed and step into something warm and also robes I live in robes in the winter so I have something to throw on to keep me warm outside of bed um and also i want to invest in some pj sets like i want to get some cute matching flannel you know fun victoria's secret pj sets to wear um so then it's easier for me to get up out of bed prepare okay when that alarm goes off your ass should be up in your robe in your slippers

walking towards the kitchen you know what really gets me up out of bed more than anything else a fucking good coffee a good ass coffee perfect coffee combination okay make your coffee whether it's cold brew drip coffee um espresso i use espresso i brew my espresso i put about two tablespoons of brown sugar in there with the warm coffee mix it up add some ice cubes add some oat milk on top it is the perfect coffee if you have a mason jar shaking it up oh my god it's perfect sweetness perfect consistency it's amazing just two tablespoons of brown sugar and regular oat milk you don't need any creamer it is the absolute best and it is honestly what gets me out of bed more so than anything else in the morning a good fucking coffee and realizing

that and leaning into it and aiding in that and buying an espresso machine was one of the best adult purchases ever because it it's something that helps me every single day and like sure it was 75 but like if you split it up between 75 days and it's a dollar every single day bitch i use this espresso machine maybe three times a day for the past two years like are you kidding me so plan ahead set alarms don't set too many make sure you are prepared for every single thing that is going to keep you from being in this routine and make sure you have it set up well enough that it is going to aid in you completing this routine it's going to be hard once again your brain's gonna have to catch on once you do something for two weeks it'll become

actually a part of your routine sometimes earlier but i like to say two weeks for sure and if you give yourself enough time stick to it you will be good i pinky promise how to get past surface level with acquaintances thank you okay girl i don't know i just i overshare to anybody and everybody and honestly the thing is like i i'm not embarrassed of who i am like yeah i'm gonna overshare and tell you the craziest things about myself and maybe a little bit of my trauma backstory but like who cares because you've probably gone through the same and if anything that's going to humanize me and make me more relatable to you and that's going to make you feel more comfortable and then want to share with me and then we're going to bond through

sharing our experiences with each other and sharing what we're into with each other and not being afraid to be a little weird and if i have to break be the first person to break that barrier and be the weird one so then everybody else feels comfortable i do not mind you know what i mean sometimes like people are a little afraid to be themselves in new situations but when you are yourself and you're funny when you are like open when you aren't afraid to have a little laugh or share yourself that immediately to everybody around you makes you seem more confident more comfortable on yourself and in turn makes you a person that other people want to be around so that's something that I've really learned about myself because I used to be a very

shy person and I thought nobody cared about me nobody wanted to hear what I had to say mostly because I grew up with an older brother who of course instilled that in me not in a negative way it was just like you know natural sibling rivalry sibling bullying so I was like yeah I'm good I'll shut the fuck up until I realized no no people want to hear what you have to say people want to get to know you um not everybody is outgoing not everybody is going to feel comfortable doing that and i get that but the number one way to really break that tension with acquaintances is to be like just like open yourself up don't be afraid because like if you say something and that scares a person away that means they're not supposed to be around you they're not supposed to

be your friend they're not supposed to be your partner whatever it is you're not supposed to build that connection like if you quote unquote scare someone off that's not your problem that's their problem they just aren't with the program and that's okay like do you really want that person around you if you're going to make them nervous within the first six hours of meeting each other you know what i mean um i feel like that really changed my mindset being like you know what if they don't like me that's on them because i like me i know i'm fucking cool i know i'm amazing friend a fun person to be around so if they aren't with the program or like maybe our two puzzle pieces don't fit together that's okay there's nothing wrong with either of us it just

means it wasn't meant to be but holding myself back and not sharing myself with other people is only hurting me and only hurting my connections it's not you know people see it as like a protection thing but are you really protecting yourself if you're inhibiting yourself so open yourself up don't be afraid to share yourself people want to get to know you the world wants to get to know you because you're amazing you're beautiful you're wonderful and you deserve to be known and people deserve to have an opportunity to get to know you love you oh no someone said if i get back together with my ex is he still my ex or my boyfriend we lost your girls please we're calling to you please come to the light please the devil has his grips in you girl no not to shame you

because me and my me and my boyfriend were talking about this because he comes from a small town so when he describes like his friends who are like dating each other or like dating people that they know and just like switching around like his whole town is that weird group in high school that like incest dated each other like not actually incest but they would just like switch around because the thing behind that the driving factor behind that is they are too scared to branch out from what they already know and it is a million times easier to go back to what you are aware of and already know because your brain doesn't have to guess what's coming you know you don't have to actually try you know this person somewhat it's easier to go back because it's

familiar to your brain new things are going to be harder but that doesn't make them bad now I don't know what happened with you and your ex like my mom and my dad broke up and got back together when they were first dating like within the first couple years so like I'm not saying it doesn't work but in this moment you have to ask yourself like is this something that I'm going back to simply because it's comfortable and my brain doesn't have to guess what's coming or is it something that I'm going back to because it was good period it was good and healthy for me and I enjoyed being in it and both people enjoyed being in it and maybe it was a wrong person wrong or right person wrong time situation or am I going back to it because it's familiar and that's

comforting to me because I don't have to try something new that's what you need to be asking yourself in this moment but is he your ex or your boyfriend girl if you guys broke up specifically if he broke up with you or even if you broke up with him this needs to be a trial period this needs to be a period where you guys are proving to each other that you are dedicated to each other that you want each other back that you are like courting each other literally like you are proving to the other person that you are a good partner that you want to be together and if you are not doing that with your ex and you guys are back together and it feels like old times which are maybe not that great girl it is not worth it and you should run new things will always be better because you're

going to learn something about yourself through them whether they work out or not or it's going to work out in your favor either you learn something or it works out in your favor and i will always take the new over the old any single day but also i understand the thing where it's like like literally my parents broke up and got back together like i get it but it has to be good and if it's not good it ain't worth it hi hannah um i'm a senior in college graduating in the spring in biology um and i don't know what the fuck i want to do after college not only that i am a mess like everywhere I'm noticing that most of my days are just full of anxiety now um I'm having a hard time staying on top of healthy habits and self-care and like eating well I'm really getting burnt out

in school I'm not really surrounded by many good people for me I'm realizing um I'm just really like very self-conscious I've realized through counseling that I really am struggling being vulnerable with myself and others like I'm really having like an awareness shift and I'm just really going through it like I wanted to get into a relationship this guy randomly I meet over the weekend nothing wrong with him wants to go out with me this just on a little talk date I'm too anxious to go um I don't know I'm really just struggling I would appreciate any help okay you're not a mess maybe you are a mess but I've been here before and there is hope it's okay I feel like you've just kind of put yourself aside for your um degree a little bit too much which does happen

a lot in college you're not the only person doing this um I really well let's see we're almost to winter break so power through power through power through do your best literally do your best at the very least you know it doesn't have to be an a you're you made it to the senior year you know you're going to graduate you simply have to finish the classes you know what I mean do your best and winter break when you do have like an actual break I say really take the time to focus back on yourself like be intentional about this time off even if you're going back home for the holidays or maybe you're staying in your college town or maybe you're staying in your apartment for the for the holidays whatever it is be intentional about that time and take that time and that small

break to really get back to that self-care just to simply get in touch with yourself take that time to really focus on routine focus on the small things that bring you joy try new things out because you are going to have a little bit more time to yourself the senior year semester that last semester should be a lot easier than the current semester that you're in and I think it'll offer you a little bit more time to get into the self-care things that you might have decided to do during the winter and then when you graduate you're gonna have all the fucking free time um and I think this last semester you should take the time to dream and give yourself a break like don't jump right into grad school after this I mean unless it's your dream then go for it but

I think everybody once they finish college deserves a break like set up a study abroad trip set up a trip for yourself set up like maybe you're gonna move somewhere maybe you are going to go to your dream graduate school maybe you're gonna you know take some time off to really just chill the fuck out after finishing college I feel like everybody should do that you're very deserving of that um and then also take that time not only to dream of what you want to do next so it pushes you through that last semester but also when you finally get that time off focus on you and don't be afraid to focus on you you've put yourself on the back burner for too long you deserve some time to really get into yourself and discover yourself outside of college um but you have to be intentional

about doing that and if you're not intentional about doing that it's going to be a little bit more challenging because you haven't done it in a while but it's not going to happen if you don't simply try so delegate some time especially during the winter break time and the thanksgiving break time to really focus on you and be a little selfish and don't be afraid to be a little selfish spend that last semester dreaming of whatever you want to do and everything's valid whether it's i'm going to take time off to go travel here or i'm going to move here or i'm going to go to the school literally whatever your dream is maybe your dream is to do nothing for the summer break or six months whatever it is do that lean into that enjoy that and also take the time when you finally

graduate to get back into connecting with yourself you can make anything happen girl you're about to graduate college literally you can make anything happen dare to dream try hard not only with school but you have to try hard with yourself you can't put yourself on the back burner for too long because if you stop functioning your schoolwork stops functioning you know what i mean um a lot of people in school have the habit of kind of forgetting themselves and making their academics all about them but if you are not a functioning human your your academics are going to suffer so prioritize not only your academics but also prioritize yourself during this time enjoy your time off power through that last semester dream of what you want to do when you

graduate make it happen and then spend the time once you graduate off getting to know yourself a little bit more and then chasing that dream that you had that final semester love you beginning a lot of questions about lung health I'm guessing that's because with the winter coming up you know new allergens are arising it's a little bit drier out and with the cold it's drying people's noses lungs out which makes smoking a little bit more difficult probably gives you guys a little bit of cough a little bit of a running nose it's no fun cold flu season for the smokers it's no fun it sends me into many a panic attacks because I'm like my lungs are giving out and it's because I'm smoking it's a possibility but usually it's just because it's winter and it's cold and I

probably have a cold literally um but I have been noticing that you know my breathing's been a little off I've never had asthma before this is crazy to admit I've never had asthma before but like when I would go work out or like run I would feel myself like about to have an asthma attack and that was a little scary to me so I think I'm gonna join the edible girls I am I think I'm gonna join the edible girls my friends I mean we used to be really into edibles in high school because like we could just eat it in someone's basement and the parents would never know like that was the ideal we didn't have to leave and be like yeah we're getting ice cream and then go smoke in someone's car or like in the woods we would just eat an edible chill where we are we wouldn't

have to leave the house or like have an excuse it was fantastic and I think I want to get back into that because not only is it going to aid in my lung health but also it might help with my nighttime routine and it might help with putting my ass to sleep earlier you know what I mean but I am a dab girl right now at night specifically and I feel like it's just too much on my lungs and i actually had a conversation with my dad about this my dad is actually maybe the healthiest person on this entire planet like he's what 55 and he looks like 40 he acts 40 he has the energy of a 40 year old but he's 15 years older it's crazy so i was talking to him and i was like he brought up the conversation of lung health because he's like how are you smoking we don't

talk a lot about weed you know I know he I've gifted him edibles before I know he smokes I know he he enjoys the everyday edible but whenever he brings up weed in a conversation it's like so how are you using this healthily like how are you participating in it and are you using it healthily which is a good conversation to have because I feel like people don't have that conversation a lot in the weed community so having my dad be like no like are you doing this responsibly and healthily is a good check-in um and it's something that you should have a conversation you'd have with yourself every once in a while and he was like listen you need a vaporizer where it is going to be easier on your lungs um you need to not smoke daily and also you probably need to get

into edibles i was like you know what dad you are right like that would be way healthier for my lungs in the long term and you know I think I'm at that point in my life where instead of rebelling against my elders and hearing that and then going and smoking four bowls like instead I'm like yeah dad you're right maybe I should go buy some edibles so yeah I think I'm gonna join the edible girlies but the thing is with lung health if you're smoking that's going to upset your lungs there's no healthy way to do it you are inhaling a substance that is not supposed to be in your lungs of course that's going to have a negative effect I don't know how else to put it that's just how it is it's not good for your lungs but I also understand you know it there's no way around it

and if I want to smoke it's gonna have to go into my lungs dab pens are not the healthier option they are not they're way more concentrated they are you're literally taking a dab it's a quote quote vaporizer but it's vaporized into your lungs it's not like processed through something that's cleaning it it's vaporizing into your lungs way more concentrated way harder of a hit dab pens are going to be your not your friend in this situation smoking a bowl is probably going to be a little bit better because it's going to be filtered through the water if you can also find I don't know if you've seen those mouthpieces that have a filter over it um so it filters out the smoke get one of those as well if you're worried about your lung health um and then teas

ginger teas lemon teas warm water um any sort of just like simple ginger lemon tea you can make it yourself you can buy it packaged that's going to be your best friend in the winter and when you feel your throat or your lungs getting irritated step back okay chill out eat an edible but those are kind of the best lung tips that I can give you um I know there's some people who like the different herbs like mullion leaf um I have had good experiences with mullion leaf but that's me personally I never want to recommend like herbs on here that I'm unsure how might affect others um so i do like mullion especially brewed into a tea my boyfriend who has asthma and was born with it does enjoy mullion when brewed into a tea and it helps with his lungs and his breathing

outside of smoking but the the the best thing i can really tell you for lung health is to cut back on the smoking eat some edibles enjoy you know what i might go buy some edibles for tonight that might be fun so i don't have to smoke constantly or like smoke a blunt in the pit that's so much fun but then also so one time speaking of patrick mahomes his little brother is actually the most annoying person on this planet i was in a pit one time at this rave right next to him and he was smoking a joint and shoving this girl in front of him which was not okay and immediately security was called but that was the most annoying experience of my entire life because he was like smoking this this blunt the blowing the smoke into people's faces like how

dare you bitch how dare you of course he was then surrounded by security with spotlights on him and immediately kicked out but uh i don't know smoking the pit is fun and all but i know i'm gonna lose half of it to the people around me and i also hate being that person who's like blowing smoke in people's faces so maybe an edible would be better lung health 101 cut back on the smoking eat an edible some hot tea with mullion maybe some ginger some lemon that's gonna be your best friend love you oh he tells me i am perfect for him but doesn't text back doesn't make plans doesn't call etc this is male manipulator 101 tell her everything she wants to hear and talk out of your ass quite frankly so then she sticks around but don't put any of the work

because i don't care to put in any of the work because i don't really care that much and like why would i do that for somebody i don't actually care that much around about but i will tell her i care that much because i know she's gonna stick around and wait for me to actually act the way that i'm talking about but i'm never gonna act that way i'm just gonna keep saying it and hopefully she doesn't catch on that is literally what's happening to you not to break your heart but men are pieces of shit and they love to manipulate women and quite frankly if the the actions aren't matching up with the words that's because they simply do not care you need to look at their actions more than you do their words period with any sort of you know romantic relationship if

they're like yeah i really like you but then they don't put any of the work they don't actually like you they just want to string you along so they can keep having you within their circle but if they're a little bit confusing with their words but all their um actions line up with what you are wanting or like what a relationship should be then maybe they're still figuring it out internally but actions always speak louder than words a million percent and in this this case where his actions are literally nothing other than you showing up at his house and him saying yeah i like you that man's a piece of shit cut him off immediately don't give him any more time or energy because you deserve a million times better than that girl you deserve

so much more please cut that man off please i'm actually begging you also when men say you're perfect for me but they don't have to do anything you're perfect for them because they don't have to do anything because they don't have to text or call or show up for you or do anything nice for you and you will still come around that's why you're perfect for him that is not okay that's not okay girl you deserve so much better you deserve so much better a million times better cut this man off and actually with that being said let's have a quick conversation about the princess treatment okay let's talk about it because every girl in any relationship is deserving of the princess treatment yes you yes you hyper independent woman listening to this

yes you hyper masculine girly listening to this i hear you i understand you i am hyper independent um and a little bit more aggressive than most women but i also deserve to be treated like a fucking queen do you know what i'm saying and here's the thing when it comes to princess treatment no one is going to set those standards but yourself i'm saying this like a first grade teacher literally my mom's talked to me so many like the so many ways she has used this tone with me so many times no one is going to set the princess treatment standards but yourself you can't rely on how this man wants to treat you or this woman wants to treat you or your partner wants to treat you you have to rely on how you want to be treated now you have to set those

standards with yourself but you also have to set those standards with your partner so if you want something or if you are deserving of something or you feel like this isn't working you need to have those conversations and I understand they're hard and I understand they're not fun but you need to stand up for yourself and you need to speak for what you want I did not like that tone you were speaking to me in you should never speak to me that way that was disrespectful it was hurtful and frankly it was a way that a partner should never speak to their partner boom that's setting a standard with your partner and yourself setting expectations for both of you um I do not like the way you've been treating me recently I feel like I'm deserving of way better I feel like a partner

should do a b c d for me and if you're not going to treat me that way then maybe this isn't going to work out literally setting standards not only for yourself but also for your partner when they disrespect you if anybody disrespects you you have to stand up for yourself you have to state what went wrong how it made you feel and what should have happened but once again no one's going to set those standards for yourself but yourself princess treatment comes from people standing up for themselves and what they want and making it known when you let a person walk all over you disrespect you constantly and you're like oh but i shouldn't speak up i shouldn't say anything because i don't want to cause you know i don't want to i don't want to be the person who you

know makes someone else mad bitch stand up because if you don't stand up for yourself and you continue you to get disrespected that person's gonna think it's okay and they're gonna keep doing it whether they know that they're doing it or not they're gonna keep doing it unless you stand up and say what actually needs to fucking happen and what you are deserving of princess treatment comes from like some people say they have to train their boyfriends and that's kind of i think where this like standing up for yourself comes from like if you if they just don't get it or maybe they haven't been in a relationship like this sometimes you have to tell them what the fuck to do and that's okay you shouldn't have to ever start from scratch there should be basic respect love unity there

in that relationship you should never have to start from scratch but you should always stand up for yourself what you are deserving of what you need in a relationship and make that known to your partner partners are not mind readers you're not a mind reader most basic thing a relationship can have is respect and communication and knowing that when I communicate what I'm saying you will hear me you will listen to me and we will work together to make this problem or this issue or this thing come together and get fixed but every girl out here every person out here is deserving of princess treatment okay but stand up for what you deserve and what you need and I guarantee you'll get it hi hannah i just wanted to say i really love the podcast i've been probably

listening to it since about a year and you've been helping me so much in so many aspects of my life like in a lot of things also um i listen to a lot of episodes regarding dating and relationships boundaries like all the stuff that you have to remember and you've been really helping me because I'm kind of now getting into my first relationship ever and really it seems to be going great like everything is just going perfectly um my question for today is I don't have a lot of time left but how to save myself or prevent seasonal depression so yeah because I feel like it's kind of going on now again because it's kind of getting to November and yeah I just wanted to ask like on advice for that bye I love you love you cutie okay seasonal depression 101 wake up earlier

the more time that you're awake with the sun the more regular your hours feel um and the fact of the matter is what is it daylight savings is coming up we're going to gain an hour of sleep which means the sun is going to set earlier and rise earlier so if you can kind of adjust your schedule accordingly which once again it's going to be a little hard but you can do it um adjusting your schedule will absolutely help you and it's kind of the number one thing that helps me especially when we are missing out on so much sunlight so step number one wake up a little earlier be awake with the sun you know what i mean um don't stay up too late don't live with the darkness too long number two you need to lean into the seasonal activities carve pumpkins go to

the pumpkin patch, you know, Thanksgiving, do a Friendsgiving, start baking, maybe take up knitting, find some indoor hobbies, as well as leading into the seasonal activities. Decorate your space, okay? Give your space some life to it. Give your space some, like, I'm about to buy a Christmas tree and decorate it, you know, being very intentional with that. I decorated my house for Halloween you know I did the didn't seem super fun but also like being around it has made being inside a little bit more enjoyable as well as picking up indoor hobbies okay take a painting take up um knitting take up literally anything anything that you have found a interest in a small hobby anything that you're like yeah I would love to try that do it try it now's the

time to try that like treat this almost as like a you know a pandemic hobby when we were all stuck inside and everybody was like well i don't know what the fuck to do i'm gonna make some whipped coffee and i'm gonna take up knitting i'm gonna take up rug making like fuck it what do i have to lose you know like we're that bored that's kind of how you need to treat the winter because we can't get outside as much um so also these hobbies can be things that not only you can do indoors i think those are also important but i think you need to have separate hobbies that you can do outside like I think I'm gonna buy a gym membership for the winter so then I um I can have a new space to go to that changes my daily routine and then also I can get a little dopamine

hit in by going to the gym even if it's just walking on the treadmill I'm changing my space I'm getting a little bit of a dopamine hit from moving my body I'm feeling good about my body because i'm doing something and then it'll help with my routine it'll help with changing it up a little bit instead of going to work going home or going to school going home whatever it may be i also think i'm gonna get a membership to this oh my god you guys i forgot to tell you i went to a sensory deprivation tank this week i was trying to think back like what did i do this week holy shit me and my friend got a group on to this sent this like yoga spot and we both got a our red light therapy sauna so we got a sauna and then we got our own private robes we went and

took a cold shower after our sauna put on our robes then we went to these fucking massage chairs we got a 20 minute massage this chair i felt like i was launching into outer space when i tell you you sit in it and you sink in like six inches and then when they turn it on it leans back like almost in like launch position mine turned off so i was literally stuck my friend was like wow this feels so good i was like yeah i can't wait for mine to turn on she's like holy shit is yours really not working i was like yeah it's not working and i couldn't turn it off because i didn't know where the remote was or the button so i i was stuck like laying backwards in this chair and she had to go find this girl to help me turn it back on anyways 20 minute massage chair which

was so fantastic it did this like body scan so then it knew where to work on you the most like hers was all on her like feet and legs and mine was all on my neck and my shoulders i don't know how it knew to do that but it did and then we each had our own private room with a private shower so what you do is you go in you take a five minute shower and then you go into the sensory deprivation tank for an hour it was insane it was insane i've never done one i was like fuck it i'll try it um and it's basically this pool like eight foot by eight foot pool filled with 1200 pounds of salt so it's kind of thick and inside of it is warm it's like 93 degrees the exact temperature that a body should be so you really it's like perfectly warm you're not cold there's no draft

you get in there's a small light and a little bit of music playing and then it fades off into darkness after five minutes and literally i have never i have never not been able to think about something like my mind is running a million miles per second but i think the sensory deprivation kind of helped because there wasn't all these outward stimuli to distract me i let my mind run and run and run and we were in there for an hour and girl i eventually ran out of fucking things to think about like i was just in there floating existing and then you get out you shower put on your robe go to the little lounge area chill chug some water put your clothes on leave it was so fun but having like small little indoor activities to do like that really really helps with the seasonal

depression keeping yourself active with indoor activities even though you can't like go outside as much you know celebrating the seasonal um the seasonal things the halloween the thanksgiving the Christmas you know put up a Christmas tree put up a little wreath on your front door um have a inside hobby that you can do when you're home and bored like puzzling get a book um wake up a little earlier but yeah I think I'm gonna get a uh membership so I can go to this sauna more often because literally it it warmed me up so so well that I left and my body was still like radiating heat and it felt so nice walking out into the cold winter air and being so so warm inside so it's a little weird but also like the weird things work whatever you feel called to

go for it that's what makes winter a little bit easier to live also i like to take this time to plan my spring summer trips so it gets me excited about winter ending and also helps me kind of work through the winter time this is when i start thinking okay where do i want to go in the summer where do I want to go in the spring where do I want to go in the fall where am I going to plan my trips um what am I going to make happen for myself for this upcoming next year because we are rounding out the year you know we're heading towards December so dare to dream plan some trips plan some fun things for you to do um it really helps me get through the winter time a little bit easier but I love you we will make it through this we gotta do some planning some preparing

but we will survive one of you guys said Hannah we are due for a confessional angel emoji I know I know but I wanted to save I was going to do confessionals this episode but I wanted to save it for next week so everybody can get all their partying out like the last day of partying today Halloween get it out of your system and then we can do confessionals next week after we have had time to rest and reflect and then we'll be able to have a true confessionals episode when everybody gets the craziness out of their system so next week confessionals episode prepare you can go ahead and dm them to me on instagram at hannah marlene if there's any that you're thinking of right now that you need to get off your chest but i will also as always open like a specific

um slot like slot on my instagram story for confessionals only next week so think over prepare get your bad habits out now so we can discuss them next week love you someone said i want more videos i thought about doing this episode as like a in a halloween costume but i'm not gonna be in my halloween costume all day and i'm not gonna film my podcast at six o'clock at night when I'm actually ready so I think for the confessional episode I'm like actually gonna be in a nun costume and we're gonna do like a full confessionals episode video episode for all you hotties because I hear you I understand you and I want to bring that to you I also need to buy a new laptop so I can actually edit videos and actually have them upload on time so maybe

I'll get a new laptop in time but yeah I want to do the at least the confessionals portion maybe i'll do it like separate from the actual podcast um as a video episode so stay tuned someone said i don't like thrifting so any good online shops besides shein okay listen listen to me shein is not a good online shop you are going to spend 10 times more money there than you would on like good actual items because their items are very poorly made with cheap materials which means they're gonna break destroy easily um not to mention the practices behind the scenes of the warehouses and the people who are making them but they are not good quality clothes so that seven dollar top you're gonna have to buy nine times which is the price of a good quality item that

you would have to invest a little bit more money in but would last you 10 times as long do you get the math the math is mathing okay now cheaper items can be good for accessory pieces things that you're not going to wear constantly but i think number one the best thing that people need to have in their closet is staple basics i'm talking plain tank tops plain baby tees plain long sleeves multiple color jeans that fit you um thick nice pieces of clothing and all of those pieces that I have found that I wear constantly I have found on eBay I love eBay or Depop honestly I love eBay and Depop Depop it's a little bit harder you're gonna have to wait a little bit longer for your items so don't buy something you need next week like those girlies are gonna ship

them out in a couple weeks trust me and that's okay let them take their time that's just a part of the app I have to I've had to accept that eBay ships way fucking faster but um on both of those sites I've been able to find a really good staple vintage basics and on both those sites you might be thinking Hannah that is not cost effective it is because on both those sites it offers a like make an offer option where you can state the price that you want to pay it'll show you how much you pay plus tax plus shipping you can state the price you want to pay it sends it to the um the owner of the item and then they can choose either counter offer with a price that they think is best or um they might just accept it and sell it to you at the price that you want to pay and I utilize that

so much I will see a $60 item and I'll be like I'm not paying fucking $60 for that but I will pay 25 so then i'll submit like a 25 offer and most sellers just want to get rid of their shit so they'll see that and be like yeah fuck it i'll do it for 25 whatever and they'll accept it ebay depop it takes a little bit more hunting you need to know your sizes like what size jeans you wear um the length of your jeans what size tops you wear you know what i mean but i love those two apps for shopping for really good staple pieces and also don't be afraid to invest a little bit more money into the clothing you're wearing especially your basics my number one shop for basics like tops tees really really basic items is los angeles apparel honestly they have

some really really quality pieces and pieces that i mean i bought these shorts no no no i bought yeah i bought these shorts in eighth grade back when they were um oh fuck what were they called american apparel jesus christ i bought these shorts back in eighth grade and i still have them to this day i still wear them like they are still perfect are you kidding me it's a little bit more expensive but once again these pieces will last you a lifetime so invest in quality rather than quantity ah i love this question any experience with ghosts or spooky stuff like that what's your view on if group if ghosts are real so ghosts are real energy is real some people get stuck on this plane and i genuinely believe that i have had way too many run-ins with these things

and maybe i'm just more in touch with like my spiritual side so i'm able to recognize these things but most people that I talked to are like no yeah ghosts are real like energy cannot be created nor destroyed so of course it's going to transfer into different things and I think some energy gets stuck in some places whether it's because of traumatic reasons or just like connection reasons but yeah it does exist like you know when you walk into a room and you just know you just feel that feeling that like overwhelming feeling of just it's almost like you walk into a room and the the air feels like water that is how I know that ghosts are real now I've never seen like a full human form that's a lie I actually have now that I'm thinking about it I've never seen like

a colonial woman walking down my hallway but okay this is actually a crazy story and I totally forgot about this when I worked at a daycare in high school um we would have nap time of course like I would work there all day nap time was around one to three usually a two-hour nap for those who could nap and all the lights would shut down um we would put out the cots we'd put the kids down and I would stay up of course I'm not taking a nap there oh my god are you crazy but I would stay up because sometimes the kids would wake up they would have a nightmare they would not be able to fall asleep so I would sit next to the kids who were having a harder time and I'd pat their back now on the classroom side of the or on the door side of the room the entrance

there is a door in the middle and there are two skinny windows on either side like school windows you know what I'm talking about the skinny windows that they have next to the door two windows on either side with a little bit of a gap in between the window and the door and the window and the wall keep in mind i worked in a church daycare so this was like a full wing of a daycare like i was one of 12 classrooms like this was a big daycare um this was my two-year-old classroom but we were also the classroom that was closest to the chapel. So on the left side of the room going on would be all the other classrooms and on the right side of the room going on right at the very end of the right side of the room are the double doors that lead into the chapel. Now this was a church

so many of funerals and weddings had happened here. The week before there was a funeral there so that side of the the church was shut down we didn't go to chapel that day whatever because they were doing a funeral we like hung up cloths on the windows so we didn't see into there so the kids didn't have to deal with any of that um and you know went on our normal day next you know monday we show up this wasn't like a friday monday we show up do our normal thing we're sitting down for nap time i'm patting this kid on the back getting him to go asleep and it's me and then my assistant there and we are sitting there patting patting him on the back and our backs are facing the wall which means we are facing the door and the two windows patting this kid on the

back and you know when it's dark in a classroom and it's dark in the hallways because we turn the lights off so all the kids can nap and there's no extra lighting um you can you can only see like the figure of somebody walking by especially with the like bulletproof school windows that have like the wires going through them they're not clear windows you know what i'm talking about they're a little bit blurry you can't see through them fully it's almost like a like a frosted window in a sense um so we're sitting there helping this kid go to sleep and we see a figure walk through the first window on the left almost as if they're walking to our door and I I noticed this but I didn't know what was happening because you know the cafeteria lady had already come and given

everybody their food um the janitor was not there that day we were like oh like me and the teacher verbally stated this we're like oh someone's parent might be here early so we were waiting because they went through the first window which means they're probably at the door because they didn't go through the second window we were waiting for them to open the door we waited for like five minutes no one walked through that door we're like what's going on is somebody just standing out there then we see the shadow move through the right window as if it was going into the chapel but we never heard any doors open and we're like well that was weird and then it does it again. The shadow walks through the window as if it's walking to the middle of the door

and we never see the shadow again. It just disappears. It never comes back through the windows, never passes back through. Nobody walked through those double doors. Nobody walked through the door into our classroom. Janitor wasn't there. Cafeteria lady had already delivered food definitely a ghost now when i experience things like that i just it's really just like a you don't give it energy that is just like a spirit passing through and you know at this point in time that's pretty normal and i'm not surprised that's happening right next to a chapel especially a couple days after a funeral um but it was very unnerving being around 12 two-year-olds and seeing a ghost pass through the window and not pass back through like knowing for a fact it was

not a human being because the the windows are tall like you would have to get on your knees and crawl across the floor to not be seen through the next window and when you pass through you're going to be seen on both windows so yeah that was definitely one experience where I was like oh shit you know like that was the first time I've seen like an actual apparition I've never seen another form since but also like I do think with spirits the more energy you give it and why these ghost hunters and stuff I know it's a little fake but they do have some real moments but these ghost hunters have so many run-ins and encounters because they're going and antagonizing these spirits in a way so they will show themselves and prove themselves to these people which I don't think is the way to

go about it I still feel like there needs to be a respect there the same respect you would have with a human being or any person or anything with a soul um and to let it exist on its own plane don't give it any more energy respect that it's there but you you really can't do anything else other than see acknowledge and move on or else I feel like sometimes that energy can bind with your energy I definitely don't need that um I have known a few people who have messed around with spirits before and the spirits have gotten attached to them and that is something I do not want I don't need somebody following me around um I thought for a while a spirit was attached to me because I grew up in this house and every time I went to the basement the air felt like

water like I knew something something's off of the basement I don't know why I don't know why there's a spirit here I don't know what's going on but I know when I go into the basement not the vibe I just it's not the energy I want to be around now every other it was like a three-story house so every other story of the house was fine but the basement specifically it was not a place I wanted to go and that feeling I was very I knew what it was like I knew this was a spirit I knew this was some sort of energy that was living down here but then when I left my house and went to college I would feel it sometimes in random rooms I went into but when I went back to my house to visit I didn't feel it in the basement anymore and that scared me because I was like oh fuck

it's attached to me like it's following me around um I thought that for a while too because at different jobs I'd work at like strange things would happen and people be like this never has never happened before we've never had paranormal experiences up until you got here and I was like oh shit it's following me it's attached to me because I grew up in this house but I also think the amount of ritual work I've done and cleansing that I've done has either if it was following me detached me from that thing or um you know whatever thing was following me the the cleansing rituals that I do so often it's detached me from that um or I am just more keenly aware to these presences and in turn it brings it out a little bit more than what other people do but I do have a

very big respect for these spirits and for the energies that are existing here and i wish them all peace but also you can't feed into it or else it can get attached to you it can don't mess around with ouija boards girlies i had a ouija board phase when i was in high school definitely not the games you need to be playing don't mess with spirits don't make spirits mad don't antagonize them it will cause chaos to your life be kind respectful the same way you would be to any other human being and i wish peace upon every spirit that is stuck here but i've had my fair share of run-ins ghosts are definitely real i've had too many experiences for them to not be real it just makes too much sense um but yeah that's my experience with a ghost love them shout out to

my ghost girlies if you're listening to the pod um i hope you are freed from this eternal realm at some point and able to find peace within your life i hope i don't show up as a ghost actually i don't know i feel like most ghosts are like tormented or they just feel stuck like they're aimlessly wandering so no i hope i don't show up as a ghost but if i do i hope i'm a cool ghost and also if you have any experiences with like scary paranormal stuff a quick salt cleanse you know a white candle that will help rid you and also send these spirits to a peaceful realm um so i love a salt scrub if you feel like it's physically attached to you um salt and sugar little coconut oil scrub your body i love just simply putting a jar of salt in the corners of

your house or your room i love whiting it lighting a white candle sprinkle some salt on the sides or at the bottom of it um all those things are very quick easy ways to free yourself from spirits whether good or bad that was the first thing i did moving into this apartment because listen i live in a historical building there's probably been i mean this building has been around since like 1912 so there's probably been i don't know over 20 occupants of this apartment because the apartment also used to be two apartments so let's double it real quick and I know things can attach to that spirits can attach to that um I do feel the energy every once in a while in here um but the first thing I did when moving in was salt cleanse my entire apartment

I put a jar of salt in every corner of this entire house I lit white candles I said my affirmations I spoke positive things into the world and I feel like that really really helped another thing with historical buildings is mice i found a mouse in my apartment yesterday and that freaked me the fuck out so and i'm not the kind of person who wants to kill mice but girlies you can't live here rent free so we put some traps out hopefully it gets caught oh this makes me so scared it's just a part of apartment living actually midwest living in general my parents have a really nice house and you know with little miceys they like to find the heat especially during the winter so i'm not surprised one found its way into my house but she gotta go anyways

stay safe protect yourself spirits are definitely real don't antagonize them live life peacefully love you hi hannah just want to quickly say that i love your podcast i stumbled upon it maybe two months ago and it's something i look forward to every week to everyone that shares their stories and experiences thanks because i feel like i relate to a lot and i've felt very seen since coming across this podcast so thank you Hannah for having it um and I guess my question would be how does one feel comfortable in their own skin due to a late game um I always go back to baggy t-shirts and jeans knowing that I want to wear some cuter clothing and I just can't seem to build that confidence to wear something cute outside in public because I just always have

those thoughts in the back of my head so yeah how does one build confidence I guess hey girly love you I had like a million new listeners at the beginning of this month I don't know why that happened but I'm so excited to have you here and I love that you called in too thank you so much for doing so um weight gain I feel you I have gained some weight and I feel like what was holding me back the most was I was comparing myself to my younger self and kind of wanting to live in the past whenever you are trying to live in the past in any sort of way you are withholding where you are right now and you are holding yourself back you will never be able to go back and live in the past we got to focus on the now whether it's wanting to get back to your old

weight or you know wanting to get back to your old self or wanting to get back to an old partner literally anything living in the past is going to hold you back so much um and i feel like sometimes we don't realize we're doing it until it's a little too late so as soon as you realize you're doing it we gotta stop we gotta focus on the now and we gotta look forward move forward so a we gotta we gotta get clothes that fit you okay i broke out all my winter clothes and i tried them on and i was like oh my god none of this fits literally none of it fits and i don't know what to do and so i did have to go on a little bit of a shopping spree um i try to not do that super often but i feel like this was really worth it because i knew a lot of my self-confidence was

built into how i express myself and i love expressing myself through clothing and everybody deserves to wear clothing that fits them so if you're finding that your clothing doesn't fit girl go go treat yourself go buy some new jeans go buy some new fun clothes it will be an immediate confidence booster because a you're not having to wear baggy clothes all the time to hide your body you're gonna find stuff that fits your new skin your new style your new sense of self which is amazing um and you're gonna treat yourself a little bit you're gonna go spend a little bit of money and once again we talked about clothing before ebay depop you can shop online um a little bit higher end stores if you got the money los angeles apparel for really great basics um but

also like who cares where you get your clothes where you get your clothes as long as you get clothes that you enjoy and that fit you and that you feel good in okay so treat yourself a little bit during this time um also you need to like get used to the skin you're in I think when I was hiding my body a lot I kind of forgot about having a body and then in turn I was a little bit more shocked of my body so like don't be afraid to be naked and to address your body and to get to know her and to touch and feel and to understand that you are growing as a woman and that's normal this is a very normal process you aren't going to be in your teenage body for the rest of your life so the kinder you can be to yourself during this time and the nicer you can be to yourself

as a woman as you are growing the better you will feel and the number one person who needs to be nice to yourself is you so whenever you feel any negative comments negative feelings coming up cut them out as soon as you can give yourself compliments redirect that thought process hang up affirmations on your mirrors um hang up affirmations on your door before you leave hang up affirmations where you feel like you might have a little bit of a harder time um being kind to yourself um and yeah i feel i feel like being simply naked and being in touch with my body helps me feel more confident because i'm more aware of it in a neutral sense rather aware of it in a negative unknowing sense i love you you are beautiful this is a part of life

and sometimes you know you blink and you change and you don't know who you are but that doesn't mean you don't have time to get to know who you are at this point in time and where you are that was a long sentence but i love you be kind to yourself be nice to yourself treat yourself a little bit get some clothes that fit you get a cute robe you know put up some affirmations um direct that thought pattern towards a more positive place and understand you are just growing into your more womanly figure womanly body and that is beautiful and amazing and honor that also when I am having a really hard body day I love going to the museum I love going to the museum and looking at all these beautiful pictures and drawings of women and how kind of like I don't

know I feel like we are on Instagram a little bit too much and we see we get this body dysmorphia because a lot of the images that we see are very doctored whether it is like facetune or like actually doctored actually surgically changed and that is just not natural so get back into the natural part of it all um go to the museum look at these women's bodies compare contrast whatever you need it doesn't matter but i feel like simply neutralizing the human body as and then like uplifting it as an art form really has a beautiful way of changing the way i think about my body and realizing yeah it is beautiful and gorgeous no matter what expectations I might put onto it or what societal beliefs I might put onto it there is a natural beauty to it and I should

honor it in that way but I love you and you will get through this we all will love you also I feel like we need to talk about Palestine real quick and what's happening there which is horrible and awful and my heart goes out to anybody who has been directly affected by it or has family there that is so scary and I'm so sorry you're going through this um and I know we all come here for kind of like like you guys are obviously not coming here for world news like I am not a news platform I'm not talking about all that usually what I talk about is what you guys have questions about but a few of you guys had questions about this so like of course I want to bring it up and I think you guys are more curious where I stand with everything and it's very obvious that I stand

against genocide like what is happening in the Gaza Strip is horrible and awful and it is heart-shattering and it is scary to see the new updates every fucking hour of more casualties and more horrible things that have happened and um I mean I've been sharing on my Instagram story of course like links articles I feel like that's kind of the best place to use my platform because here it's hard you know I can give my opinion or like stuff like that but it's hard to actually attach a real like link or a journalism article or you know a actual first-hand account of what these people are going through verbally on a podcast um but I am sending a call out if you guys have any articles or resources or information that you want me to share on my Instagram story that is a

read and get into and actually donate to please share those to me at my instagram at hannah marlene i've already donated to a few and one of my amazing followers has been sending me like updates and actual links journalism articles um first-hand accounts and that has been really really helpful but also i feel like if you were going to your favorite influencers and your favorite tiktokers for worldly news that is a big problem like of course where i stand on it all is like free palestine those it is gut-wrenchingly awful what is happening in the gaza strip um and it's horrible but there's a limited amount of what i can do and there's also a limited knowledge on what's going on and all i can really do with my platform is share with you guys

real like links and articles and resources that you can donate to um and if you once again are getting your worldly information from tiktokers that's a huge red flag like read the links that people are posting online read the resources that people are posting online donate to those resources that is the best thing that you can honestly do in this time listen to people who have family there who are going through these things listen to what they are saying um and support however they are asking you to support I feel like that is the ultimate best way to help in this situation especially being in an area that is so far away and feeling so out of control um especially when it's a government system that I'm not a part of and a part of the world that

I've never been to all I can really do is hear the voices of people who are there who do need help and give in whatever way they ask so I have been trying to do so and if you do have any other resources article links donation platforms that you would like me to share I would absolutely love to do so but I think it is very obvious and very I think we're all aware of what's happening in the Gaza Strip and I think we all know that it's awful and so what we can do now is really educate those um around us by sharing vital information and helping at a donation-based level with whatever you can girlies i i feel like all the men questions i've been asking answering today have just been stop letting men manipulate you you have to set standards for

yourself you have to stick to those standards for yourself which means you've got to be a little fucking mean sometimes okay because if they can't get basic fucking ideas through their thick fucking skull then i'm gonna make sure you understand it and if i have to talk to you like not you but like men if i ever talk to a man like i'm a first grade fucking teacher for him to understand it i will because you know what i don't if this doesn't even work out i don't want someone else to have to deal with it so someone said how do i stop being jealous when my boyfriend likes other hot girls instagram pictures um no that is a very valid feeling and i don't think you should stop feeling jealous i think he should stop being a piece of shit liking other girls instagram

pictures because why the fuck is he doing that a it's disrespectful and he knows that and you know that and i'm sure you've made it clear to him and if you've made it clear to him that it's disrespectful and he still does it that means he doesn't give a fuck okay and is that a partner you want around you constantly no you don't want a partner that's just going to casually disrespect you like that that is not okay all right make it clear um and you know what i don't give a fuck what his excuse is oh my thumb slipped shut up pussy you can't come up with a real answer oh she's my friend then why have you never told me about her why is this the first time i'm i'm discovering her is she really your friend if you have never brought her up casually in a conversation

maybe he has still why the fuck are you liking her titty pictures you know what that is you are putting your name on it and is that something that you really feel like is okay and if this man if you say that it upsets you and you look this man in the eyes and he goes i don't care i'm still gonna keep doing it let that piece of trash stay in the fucking trash because if he's gonna disrespect you on i get it like a small basis like sure he's not like cheating on you but if he's gonna disrespect you like that even after you saying hey this is disrespectful i don't want you to do this and speaking up for yourself if he's still gonna fucking do it let him stay in the trash okay stop entertaining him let him you know what if he wants to disrespect you

cut him off so he can't do it anymore okay but you really have to stand up for yourself and listen the conversation of liking girls instagram pictures has been a long long conversation with many girls and men and every single time i have this conversation we all agree girls and guys that it is disrespectful to do if you are in a relationship and also like men are aware of what a thirst trap is and men are aware of the extent of what a like means they're not fucking stupid they love to play stupid but they're not stupid so don't let them manipulate you stand up for yourself set boundaries and if he breaks them cut that man the fuck off okay like you deserve so much better hi hannah um so i was wondering what you do to not feel so stressed because i just get

stressed so easily and i think it's a part of my anxiety everything i just worry about everything i get stressed about everything so how do you calm that down because i know that you're a fellow anxious girly also i love the podcast you've helped me so much through life i appreciate you a lot so I have been a very anxious stressed person since before I could even remember and I've tried everything to try and get rid of it I was put into like piano lessons and professional piano competitions to try and you know shock it out of my system that didn't work I've been to therapy I have done everything under the sun to try and like fix my anxiety disorder and to you know help with my stress i've taken cold showers i've taken hot showers i you know have

done behavioral therapy but i feel like the number one thing to understand about yourself is when i become overwhelmingly stressed or i stress out about things a lot of the times it is just like a i'm hyper focusing on that feeling and i'm hyper focusing on that thing and i'm grasping onto it instead of letting that thought exist and then flow out of me or change the subject you know what I mean like let me put it this way it's not fun when your friend comes up to you and is like oh my boyfriend did this and I just I'm so angry at him and it's like okay we'll do this and she's like yeah yeah yeah but then five minutes later she's like oh my boyfriend did this and I hate him and then a day later my boyfriend did this and I hate him and my boyfriend did this and it's

like over and over and over again and I feel like the same way that happens to people that's how my thought pattern is where it's like the same thought over and over and over and over again and instead of letting that thought exist and encouraging it I really take the intentional moment to nip it in the bud and be like no cut this out end it short and I think the key here is allowing yourself to feel that emotion being like giving yourself the validity that you're craving and then moving on um sometimes there's only so much you can control there's so much you can do and really you have to remind yourself of that and then after you remind yourself of that instead of sitting there and constantly thinking and thinking and thinking you've got to get up

move on distract yourself that's why you see people doing the like ice face water dunks it's because it's like a physical shock and that's going to physically shock you and then change your train of thought into holy shit this is so cold and it's really going to be a quick change so you're not constantly thinking about whatever anxious thought you have um but I think it can also just be simpler than that sometimes physically getting up and moving uh places moving to a different chair moving to a different seat different area in your house um physically getting up and putting on music getting up and putting on a podcast um physically changing the thought by being like not only giving it validity but also talking yourself

through it getting it out of your head through a journal entry putting it into your notes app just like if you're overwhelmed just spewing it somewhere else so it doesn't have to exist in your brain if you have a really good friend being able to be like hey I don't really need advice or anything I just want you to listen and I need to get it off my chest this isn't like serious or anything I just need somewhere to I just need to put it out into the realm of existence so it's not living in my brain anymore um physically changing the way you're thinking by picking up a book or reading an article um but yeah I think actually changing the train of thought and having the awareness to understand oh my gosh I'm in a loop I'm in a thought loop I'm in a thought cycle

and I need to break it somehow however whatever way works best for you having that awareness because I feel like a lot of anxious stress people are just overly aware but have that awareness and then make the change I feel like that is really the best way to combat extreme stress especially when it's stress that you can't really do anything about if it's just you can do something about get up and make a change you know change your situation fix the situation change the environment say I'm sorry send an email do some more work whatever it is but a lot of the times my stressors and my anxieties are very non-reality based and or like out of my control um and all I can really do is trust in myself um believe in myself and then have the strength to acknowledge

those feelings give validity to them let them go and then move on to a different activity move on to a different thought or maybe even you know if you need that physical shock that ice bath face dunk is very helpful i'm not gonna lie um but yeah i feel like that's kind of what works best for me i hope this helps someone asked what does scorpio season have in store for me birthday is november 2nd happy scorpio season to all my scorpio babes um i am dating a scorpio so best believe I I know I know what you're like okay I have seen every extent of you you guys are a little crazy but I love you for that you're daring you're you're selfish but like in the best possible way because like everybody should be a little selfish but everybody should be a

little selfish like a Scorpio which is simply just putting you and your best interests first like that is the ideal that should be the theme of this Scorpio season which is just putting yourself first like especially if you have a hard time doing that if you're a people pleaser really feed into the Scorpio feelings of just like you don't want to know fuck you I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want to do because I'm the most important person in my life period because I'm me that's what all Scorpios believe you guys are a little hard-headed be open to new things and new ideas but also lean into what you truly enjoy and like and feed into that um you guys you're a little aggressive and a little paranoid so chill on that okay not everybody's out to get

you i promise there is light surrounding you all right um your loyalty is some of the most pure energy about you and everybody deserves to feel a Scorpio's loyalty at some point in their life but don't let people who have hurt you destroy that feeling of loyalty lean into it give the people in your life who are deserving of that give them that loyalty and that trust um but also don't let people who have hurt you in the past break that you know like don't let them ruin you don't let them have that power over you hold that loyalty within you because it's so beautiful um it's one of the most beautiful parts of a scorpio but give it to people who are deserving okay be intentional about how who you give it to don't be so paranoid okay chill not

everybody is out to get you dare to have fun okay lean into your loyalty and your trust the people who you truly do love um and lean into those passions you guys are so passionate about every single thing in this entire world lean into the good passions rather than the bad okay i love scorpio scorpio women are some of the most powerful women in this entire world scorpio women and aries women honestly some of the most intensely passionate driven people i've ever met scorpio men are a little crazy but they make perfect partners because they're so loyal and they just want to give and receive love and i think that's a really beautiful thing about them um but yeah you can't let the past haunt you forever and you can't treat everybody like that awful ex that you

had that one time in your life anyways happy scorpio season someone said did coke for the first time should i do it again you know coke is actually the worst drug on this planet like not only bad for you but also just like there's so many better things like why why cocaine it's so expensive it makes you feel awful the next day hangover is gonna be horrible like it just makes you feel hyper like girl chug a red bull chug a full red bull no no go get a panera charged lemonade okay that shit makes you feel like you're on cocaine straight up and you're not gonna have the horrible hangover afterwards and you're not gonna have like the drip in the back of your throat and your nose isn't gonna bleed okay girl coke is the worst thing psa to all my girls who

want to party or like want to experiment coke is awful if anybody offers you coke they hate you no i'm kidding i'm joking i have many friends who enjoy it but it's such a slippery slope and like i enjoy my you know my substance for me from time to time but i enjoy something that makes me feel good and that shit sucks like in the grand scheme of things it sucks girl go chug a charged panera lemonade it is the same exact thing same exact thing anyways you guys i think that's the end of my podcast oh my gosh i gotta get ready for the day i need to take my ginger shot i need to make some lunch i gotta go run some errands get some stuff for espresso martinis go see if my package just arrived for the the rest of my costume literally i was cutting it short i was cutting

it short tell me why amazon was like yeah i'll deliver on tuesday before 10 p.m i was like girl i'm gonna need i'm gonna need the stuff in there i really am so hoping and praying that shows up but i love you all i hope you had an amazing halloween weekend i hope you have a very amazing halloween night stay safe have a lot of fun and yeah next week we'll do some confessionals because i know you guys probably got into a little bit of trouble this week and probably want to get it off your chest anyways i love you all eat a piece of candy for me smoke a bowl for me or eat an edible for me if you got some lung issues i need to get into that maybe i'll give you an edible update next week but i will see you all so very soon