Smoke Sesh - gut instincts, friendship breakups, cheaters & period sex

Episode Date: November 18, 2022

Happy Thursday! Wanted to do a fun little extra Thursday episode this week since I had the time and who doesn’t love two podcasts a week? We go over so many topics including raves, dating culture, lung health, balancing work and life, friendship breakups, feeling sexy & sensual, cheaters and managing through relationship anxiety, gifts for new apartments, doctors, how to avoid being tired all the time, Hannah’s Christmas list, boyfriends, period sex, period 101 and how to survive, and lastly gut instincts and how to manage through the anxiety, how to tell what is right for you plus a little homework for the weekend

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to Smoke Sash. it's so exciting oh my god to have you here i should probably not start choking up within the

first fucking 15 seconds let's keep it professional hannah um i just somehow managed to pull my tired lifeless body out of bed and drag it into a shower um i went to a rave last night i think i brought up on tuesday that once again we're in our trying new things era um this was not a trying new thing i just haven't been to a rave in a while and i love them i they're absolutely like one of my favorite genre of concerts to go to raves and festivals and i just haven't been in a while because i've had some issues with substance abuse in the past and i feel like concerts in general are a thriving place for substance abuse but you know what we stayed strong i had a couple vodka sodas um i smoked a little bit of weed and i left early and i had a

fantastic fucking time it was so good someone i posted on my instagram story like the outfit i was wearing and someone was like are you raving in a castle yes literally yes one of my favorite venues in Kansas City is called the Midlands um and it feels like you're in some old man's just like multi-million dollar 1900s mansion like dark oak there are like thrones everywhere with red seating there is like beautiful chandeliers there's like four stories there's like the basement main level one more level above that and then the balcony and you can just run around do whatever you want because it's general admission every single time so everybody has the same seats there's no like you're in my spot it's just like fend for yourself bitch but i went i had such a

great time i saw slander and woolly um both of which very good i'm not a huge fan of the melody kind of aspect of edm slash raves but they had some good songs there i'm more like i'm here to headbang until my shoulders give out and then leave before the set ends so i can get to my car and not be stuck in traffic oh my god so I got home at like 12 o'clock last night not too bad not too shabby for a Wednesday evening um and now I am finally pulling my body back together but I had such a good time um the best thing about concerts and raves is just running into random people that you have no idea who they are but you end up making just like a super fun connection um and I was downstairs in line for some drinks and this girl came up to me and she

was like oh my god I love your jumpsuit I was wearing like this this like a bodysuit like mock neck short sleeve but super fucking trippy um the artist who designed it is like a graphic designer and actually designed it so when you use your camera um all of the pieces that are designed on the jumpsuit 3d push out it's it's crazy um but i got it like four years ago um pre-pandemic because i was supposed to go to bonnaroo with some friends for my 21st birthday and that's what i wanted to wear never got a chance to wear so finally last night i was trying to put together like a comfy outfit because it was 27 degrees out i cannot rave in a fucking bikini and 27 degrees like listen I'm a hoe but I still get cold all right so I put that on and

this girl came up to me she's like that is so fucking cute where did you get it and I was kind of dreading that question all night not because and I literally told her this not because I like wanted to gatekeep it like I hate those bitches where you go up to them and you give them a compliment you're like where did you get that i genuinely really love it and they're like oh you know i just i don't know it just didn't have a tag or like my mom bought it for me or you know it's just you gotta just find it girl you know i hate that shit like bitch just tell me where you got it share the love i'm not trying to like hate on you like i just i'm not trying to steal your swag i'm just trying to make a conversation you know what i mean so i told

to that i was like i hate those bitches who are just like you know i don't i don't i don't really know but like genuinely i don't fucking remember and i am so genuinely sorry and she was like that is so funny you are perfectly fine it was like one of her first raves and so she was a little nervous about the crowd she was like i just have a i'm nervous because my friends are at the rail and i don't know how to get back like the crowds are just so tight and i was like girl you know what I'm in line for a drink I'll buy you a drink and then I'll get you through the crowd you know and the key to getting through any sort of crowd if you want to get to the rail and you walk in and that fucking venue is packed packed like people have been camping out there's no way you're

getting to the front you can get to the front you absolutely can all you have to do is you put your hand about five inches in front of you you kind of use your hand to tap people on the shoulders and be like I'm coming through and you say I'm so sorry excuse me excuse me I'm so sorry I'm so sorry excuse me my friends are up here I just needed a drink I'm so sorry I just need to go to the bathroom excuse me and everybody is usually always willing to move and like totally okay with stepping aside and letting you through and that's why I love ribs I feel like a lot of concerts you go to you know you try and squeeze through people are just like kind of bad attitude they're like what the fuck are you doing why are you like stepping past me but when you're like at concerts

sometimes you gotta piss sometimes you need a drink sometimes you lose your friends and you gotta make it through the crowd and i'm tired of people having bad attitudes about it like use your please and thank yous and you'll get through it i promise so i like escorted her to the front of the crowd and then i was like all right i need to go find my friends now and my friends were rolling their balls off which good for them they were having a fantastic time like no hate but i left a little early because i'm the kind of person who i usually like to power through and like make it to the end of the night such as like 3 4 a.m but that just fucking exhausts me the next day and I feel like I waste a whole entire next day um because of like the four hour

period at the very end of the night that just takes too much out of me so when I got to the point of the concert where there was like 10 minutes left and I could feel my body just being like oh I just want to go home whenever I feel that feeling I have learned give into it okay give into that feeling you will feel so much better if you're just like I'm gonna listen to my body and I'm going to disappear out of thin air and go home so that's what I did I just like started slowly walking backwards and I just disappeared into the crowd and then I just left and as I was leaving the confetti cannons went off and everybody was just tripping was like trying to grab confetti out of the air it was so funny but it was adorable it was so cute everybody was

getting along it was such a vibe if you've never been to a rave 10 out of 10 recommend it if you're looking for a good concert experience also if you have like some crazy fits in mind and you have nowhere to wear them find a rave okay you can wear anything you literally ever possibly wanted to wear there um the girlies were pulling out fit after fit after fit i was so impressed but yeah i left at like 11 30 made it home by 12 perfect pretty sober by the end of the night after dancing so much um pass the fuck out my boyfriend had to talk me out of getting out of bed and going to Taco Bell I really wanted Taco Bell it's my one weakness at night I'm just like there's nothing better than a soft potato taco with some extra nacho cheese maybe a nacho cheese fry bitch come

on I was laying in bed he was like bitch you're not getting up stay here like just just go to bed so thank god i didn't indulge in that or else i would have had some crazy shits this morning but woke up did a little self-care because i didn't clean my face last night so i sludged off all my makeup finally this morning took a shower made some coffee and now we're gonna get to a little extra podcast i see a ton of you guys have listened to um tuesday's podcast so shout out to you guys you guys hop on that shit asap every single time i release a podcast i'm like oh you know people probably won't get to this to the end it's like the weekend whatever you know when you finally have some more time to like listen you guys are so fucking quick

oh my god i'm like how have this many people listened to this in the span of a day wild anyways we talked about some really good topics um in that episode I just felt like I was very ranty and my ADHD mind really wants just like a very random sporadic episode with lots and lots of topics so that's kind of what I'm trying to do today a little like um question roulette one could say because you guys sent me a ton of questions and I want to get to them all I want to honor them all so with that being said um this is your sign once again go try something new challenge yourself if you do so tag me and also don't be afraid to go by yourself like i had i didn't have any friends at the full moon ceremony which was nerve-wracking going into

but i made friends there and the the place that i went was encouraging of friendships and connections which was amazing and i had friends at my rave i just of course i knew people who were probably going because the rave community is very much so similar people um and I knew I could run into them and find them if I wanted to but I very much so showed up alone and I made friends and I had a fantastic time and sure it's nerve-wracking going into it but those nerves should not deter you the nerves aren't out of fear or out of something going bad or an anxiety the nerves are yes a generalized anxiety but it's just because you're doing something new okay you're going to get anxious before you do something new period that's just how your brain

works okay but to challenge that and to make sure it's not controlling you you have to go through situations where you're gonna get anxious beforehand persevere through and have fun okay I'm trying to rewire my brain a little bit right now to not get anxious before things and the only way I can really do that is by actually putting myself out there and challenging myself and guess what i've challenged myself twice and both times have turned out well so this is your sign go try something new that thing on your mind that idea give into it have some fun babes okay you don't always need somebody else around or that comfort with you to go and do things you can find comfort within yourself um but yeah i'm gonna chug some coffee blow my nose because this cold is really

getting to me i don't know if i'm getting sick or if i'm just stuffy because of the weather change but yeah let's get this party going okay had to take a small break because i had a meeting and then i devoured a breakfast burrito and chugged some coffee so safe to say i am in the perfect mindset for this podcast the perfect one um with that being said let's dive into all of our lovely questions okay um somebody said hanging out with multiple guys it's so much right now lol how does one talk to multiple men i feel like in the dating the dating scene now nowadays is so fucked up so fucked up and to every single girly out there i am so sorry you're having to put up with so much bullshit because the dynamics are off there's too much game there's too many games

everybody has ulterior motives no one's telling the truth um and no one's being themselves which kind of fucking sucks because he's falling in love getting to know somebody is supposed to be a special um fun you know building experience for both people and i'm gonna come out and say talking to multiple guys, yes, that's going to be stressful. It's going to be tiring because men are fucking exhausting. And in my opinion, there is no reason to entertain multiple people because if you're having to entertain multiple people, it means all of those people do not satisfy you and you're having to find other people to fill those gaps. Why don't you just fucking do your own thing you know have some friends if you want to have a hookup here and

there that's fine but there's no reason you need to string along three four or five six people i understand people are like oh you need a roster you know you need people to pick from but in my opinion i think that shit's crazy crazy my job is not to be a full-time fucking um like your job is not to date full-time you know what i mean that's something you're supposed to do you know fun here and there you go on a date every once in a while you shouldn't be having to respond to these men like you're responding to work emails that shit's wild so in my opinion i would say if they are not fully and utterly giving you all the attention you need um all the fun you need, if you are not enthralled by that person, then why are you wasting your time? You

know, like you said, it's exhausting. You know, it's tiring. And I honestly don't think it's worth it. Like I said, if that person is not utterly and completely just like grasping every inch of your attention and every inch of your just like enthusiasm then they're probably not worth it probably not and of course you're gonna have to shop around to find that right person to you know find the perfect partner but I do believe and I've said this before you just focusing on yourself and doing whatever you want to do and whatever calls to you and whatever motivates you and inspires you and really acting upon the beliefs of I'm gonna do what's best for me period and the right person will fall into place that's the way to do it because I feel like when you have a

roster no offense you're playing a man's game you are men love to play fucking games they love to have a roster they love to talk to multiple multiple people at once they love to you know have options when in reality sometimes you don't fucking need an option sometimes you just want the best thing to find you and if it's not the best thing the best thing is to drop it you know no time to play games especially games that men love to play and also if you are around men who feel the urge to play games with you when it comes to a relationship they are not going to be good partners nor are they going to be good long-term partners and if they are a short-term partner they're not going to be trustworthy you know if you are going to have a short-term part or

short-term partner make sure they're trustworthy and you guys are telling the truth about what you're looking for and how you feel and if they are not going to obey by those rules um and really be honest and worthwhile of your time then it's absolutely not worth it at this point in the dating scene i feel like for a while women have been like oh you know it's a man's world we got to play um the man's game but honestly protect your peace do your thing and if they don't fit into your fucking venn venn diagram of what is perfect for you lose it lose it absolutely oh my god someone said importance of cleaning your pipes built resin built build up of resin okay cleaning your pipes cleaning any sort of pieces you're smoking out of very important

literally lung health is very important coming from a stoner lung health is very important first of all it starts with the flour you're consuming if you're consuming fucking gas station carts yeah your lung health is not gonna be great at all like nurses are gonna look at your lungs 10 years from now and find holes in it so if you're gonna willingly inhale something at least make sure it is quality product quality fucking product which like as a baby smoker i didn't really give a fuck what i was smoking but now now that i've kind of gotten into the whole world of weed and i'm learning more about it quality is just like key absolutely key and if you guys didn't know um Missouri finally not well it was legal it was a medical I had my medical card but

now we legalized it legalized it like it's recreational which is exciting in some forms but unfortunately it means that the state of Missouri only gave out a select few like um we could call them keys licenses uh for growers and distributors in Missouri so now it's a monopoly and the monopoly that it's been taken over by are companies that are just i'm unfortunately very disappointed by i was actually supposed to work with one of the companies for like promotional um to like uh kind of get to know them to learn about their products and see if maybe like it'd be fun to work with them on a promotional level um they were very inconsistent with the replies very inconsistent with like how they were uh like reaching me like

I felt like I was working with stoners which is like listen I'm a stoner but also there's a time to be professional and a time to have fun and it was very very non-professional um and then I was like you know what I get the non-professionalists like maybe they're just new to it whatever I'll go try some products so i went into a dispensary and i purchased some products and once again very disappointed which fucking sucks because the products are so expensive i brought a i bought a gram of wax legally it was 55 it was the cheapest i could find which is like an insane price okay um I could go to Colorado and get a gram for like oh my god on sale 15 maybe 25 um but very cheap $55 like if I'm shelling out $55 it better be top tier I brought that shit home I weighed it

it was 0.7 of a gram literally they shorted me I was like are you kidding me how is your distribution this bad that it is 0.7 it's not even a full gram and then I bought a pack of pre-rolls just to be like you know i'll try it out has four or five different types of pre-rolls in there four or five different types of flour i smoked every single one of those and like if you don't like getting high they're a vibe but as a girly who like wants to be able to sit down and smoke a whole joint and then like float for a couple hours i smoked that whole joint and i felt like nothing was happening so it really fucking sucks that these monopolies these like companies that have kind of taken over um missouri are just not great not great at all california oh my god so many

great companies they offer so many different licenses to people colorado incredible have only had good experiences there but this is another lesson in like paying attention to what you're smoking paying attention to the people who really put effort and time into what the they're doing um even if it's just like customer service the experience the product whatever it is now that I've gotten deeper into it I've grown to appreciate those things way way more which is why I talk about PazPak so much because ever since starting working with them I have only been blown away like absolutely fucking blown away the way that they work with me the way that they work with their customers their products okay their products have been incredible ever since they sent it to me

and then i had the opportunity to go out and see the actual like flower like to see them growing it and the way that i got to speak with this grower about how passionate they are about what they're doing and these plants are literally their fucking babies and everything that they do to these plants and give these plants are only for the benefit of these plants to make the perfect product so when the customers receive it they are only happy and i was just like this is how you do it this is how you get uh make good product this is how you get people to smoke good stuff okay incredible love paz packs to the end of the earth and also it's kind of fucking shocking to me that a cbd company is more professional and wonderful incredible than a literal government

licensed dispensary or like um distributor that is like local to me it's like are you kidding me um but yeah love Paz Pax incredible when I so instead of going and buying a joint from the dispensary that is literally not going to get me high I just order Paz Pax you know CBD I love it it's a great way to start the morning in fact it's the way I started my morning this morning i was a little bit not too hungover but you know a little lethargic um i needed a little bit of a wake me up but i didn't want to just like absolutely start smoking in the morning because at the end of the night that just makes my lungs super sad so i ate a little gummy you know a little cbd gummy it gives me the body relaxation that i'm looking for but it doesn't

get my head all foggy and it doesn't get my you know it doesn't give you that head high so it gives you the relaxation that you're looking for but not the like quote-unquote tripping effect you know like you're not actually high high it just is absolutely wonderful for relaxation for maybe a little dose of serenity if you need it but you also don't want to participate in smoking quite yet love them love them only have endlessly good things to say about past packs and of course you can use code smoke sesh for 10% off if you ever want to try it out if you even need a tea break there's so many good possibilities when it comes to cbd um like i talked about healthy addictions um in my last podcast supplement you know if you're a person who has smoking so

ingrained in your routine it doesn't mean that there's no options for you and that a tea break is absolutely impossible it is possible just supplement use some cbd okay the times where you're supposed to go take like a little joint walk or whatever it is just supplement with a cbd joint or eat a little gummy you know and it's a perfect stocking stuffer as well i'm planning on ordering a bunch of packs for my friends um to give away as little gifts because oh my god so cute the branding the packaging everything about them love love love so quality very very important and unfortunately sometimes like you can't tell quality until you try it so I really recommend just hopefully going for the best things that are possible for your lung health um and just if you

try it if you try it and you don't like it and you see it like not being a great product don't be afraid to not try it again there's so many different things out there that you can try um and if it's not great lose it you know what I mean but Paz Pax has only been good to me um and i love the dispensaries in other states unfortunately my state is just a hot mess right now but good products lung health now the second part of lung health is what you're smoking out of okay i've talked about blunt wraps blunt wraps were really bad for me they were literally it felt like killing me from the inside out it's the tobacco it caused me to break out it caused me to be over oily caused me to break down my skin barrier because of the smoke um blunts were not

great for me joints are a little better papers are a little better um smoke papers outside so the smoke is not around your skin for me personally i have very sensitive skin it has a habit of breaking down my skin barrier but um paper products have been incredible such as like i love blazy susans um if you want fucking hot pink wraps like come on but when it comes to pieces okay pieces now this might be the biggest part of lung health because of course flour is sticky will cause a buildup of resin or buildup of wax whatever you're smoking out of whether it's a rig or a bong you need to make sure that shit's clean okay i understand we don't all have time to like go do a salt soak of our shit scrub it out make sure it's perfectly clean once a week sometimes

that's a lot listen life gets ahead of us i get it the most you can do is simply change the water every day okay if you leave water sitting for over 24 hours it starts to grow mold you do not want that mold from that water then being inhaled in oh my god sorry of the hiccups oh okay i'm good into your lungs because obviously that causes some chaos we don't want that happening um so at least change the water every single day and when you do change the water you know fill it up a little bit give it a good shake pour it out now if you can of course do a full deep clean um whether it's your bowls give them a little sea salt acetone soak um if it comes to rigs i like dipping a little q-tip in like um not acetone i guess it's alcohol

um and wiping out the bowl piece before i use it every single time just to make sure there's no residues and i'm not breathing in like old smoke um cleaning your mouthpiece i started getting like little breakouts around my lips and i realized it's because the mouthpiece that i was smoking off of wasn't clean all of these are very very important okay and you really don't think about them until they're too late but please for the love of fucking god i i i see you looking at your pieces right now mentally and i know they're dirty at least just change the water that is the most you can do but usually at the end of the month or the beginning of the month i like to set a set day where i just go and clean the pieces that i usually use okay so good products clean

pieces your lungs will be healthy absolutely also if you are noticing things that don't work for you listen to your body your body knows what's best if you're coughing too much from something maybe it's not a great way for you to partake in and also if you have lung lung issues in the first place maybe smoking is not um the best option for you there's always edibles there's always other ways to partake or honestly not everybody has to partake but i also just like to give a psa every once in a while to make sure we are doing the best for what we can for our lungs um but yeah paz packs they're just always on my mind they are so fucking incredible okay someone asked how to live a happy life in a capitalist world that wants you to work 40

hours a week to survive okay i wish i could sit here and be like well here's how you don't work 40 hours but listen a majority of us are gonna have to work 40 plus hours a week that's just how it is we all live in the same society it's not great I get it here's how you survive your 40 hours of work are not your life yes you got to go there and participate to make money but that's not your life that is not your driving factor at least for me personally if you are lucky enough to be fulfilled by work to go to work every day and have it be amazing wonderful your job is your life that's what gives you pleasure congrats you've done what most people don't okay but for a majority of us we are not going to find life's pleasure through working okay that's where hobbies come in

very important so you need to start looking at your work life and your outside work life as two separate things your work life is a non-negotiable which is a part of life it's what you have to wake up and go to but to survive through those eight hour shifts whatever it is you need to make sure you're also paying attention to your work life outside or your outside work life your real life i guess i should say um and to do so you need to just start planning things i know life becomes a lot more exciting when you have something to look forward to throughout that shift when you have something exciting to go do after work you know there's no better feeling than being like oh yeah this day sucks but i get to go have drinks with the girls after this and it's making my shift

so much more worth it it doesn't have to be drinks with the girls it can be literally anything for me it was oh i get to go to this rave tonight or oh i get to go to this full moon ceremony tonight or oh maybe i'm gonna go get my nails done after work or oh my gosh i can't wait to go just take a relaxing bath and do nothing after work or i'm doing this with friends or i'm trying this new class the key is you have to be a active participant in that side of your life I get it work is stressful work is tiring it's gonna take a lot of fucking effort you know for you to go do these things after work but your life will feel so much more fulfilling if you take the time to plan things for yourself and to make that real life the outside work life like enthralling for

you okay and to make it fun for you and when people are like well I don't have hobbies I don't know what to try unfortunately it just takes you going and trying things okay signing up for that class going to this thing going to that thing and yeah you might not like it but guess what you're learning you're growing and at least you're getting out and doing something I also think there needs to be a balance between your hobbies and your relaxation time I personally really really prioritize my relaxation time and the time that I get to myself so yeah maybe three out of those four days are days where you just go home and you do something for yourself such as maybe cook yourself a good meal or take that hot bath or do your own nails whatever it is that you find

pleasure in at home that's what you're doing those days but the days that you have off where you maybe are a little bit more excited to go out and do something make sure you are planning stuff I talk about this all the time we are all like little children I have a little child inside of me that I need to manage and you know plan things for and plan play dates and plan activities so they can experience life um so it's like an adult side of me and a child side of me and sometimes you just need to like snap into that adult side and be like okay we're gonna do two fun things this week and then we're gonna do two relaxing things this week or whatever it is but the best way that you can feel like your work life is not eating you up is to make sure you have a life outside of work

all right hi Hannah um I first of all I want to say that I love you so much you're the best and I listen to your podcast all the time and I'm also from Italy so it really like sometimes it actually helps me like learn English as well so thank you for that um anyways I have a question for you because I'm very much struggling at the moment because I recently fought with my ex-best friend now expects ex-best friend and um she like did something awful to me like objectively bad like I'm the one who's right in this situation and like I can't stop missing her because I miss like who she was before we fought like how do I um not get myself to like forgive her because I want the friendship back like I need to rationalize the fact that that's over but like how do I do it

you know because I really do miss her thank you hi cutie so friendship breakups are hard arguably kind of harder than real breakups because there's still love there it's just like I feel like this is gonna sound so weird but i feel like friendships have a more unconditional side than like relationships that sounds weird maybe they're very similar either way both are fucking hard and people don't give friendship breakups the credit that they deserve that they are really really hard um i haven't been through a lot but the ones that i have been through have been very transformatory for me. Is that the right word? Transformatory? Anyways, I don't know where my brain's going with this. It's the gummy. It's a CBD gummy. It's really kicking in. Okay, so

when it comes to friendship breakups, there's two ways you can go about it. I went through a really hard one in college where maybe I wasn't being the best friend I could possibly be but it wasn't me being mean or awful or not doing things for them it was just I was busy um I was trying to get my scholarship back in school for nursing I was working really hard which means yeah I didn't have all those times to go out with them and to do these things um because I was in the library most of the time I was on my grind I needed to focus on getting my scholarship back in order to become a good friend again and to have those fun things as much as I wanted to do them I had to have some self-control and be like you know we're gonna focus on me so then I can go out and have

fun with my friends I guess my friends took that the wrong way and they thought it was me just kind of skipping out on them and they took that as an opportunity to kind of backstab me in a way and to see me differently and to push me down and on the last day of my finals the most important final i was going to have was um on a friday at 8 a.m and usually everybody's finals are over by like wednesday or thursday so they start partying which no issue with but i let me let everybody know around me like hey i have a final 8 a.m they knew how important it was for me because this was the final that was really going to dictate my grade and dictate if i was going to get the sponsor or not the sponsorship oh my god i'm so far out of schooling the scholarship back

um and they decided you know what a great night to throw a party in our dorm play beer pong right next to her room and talk shit on her very loudly while she tries to study and and that just showed me oh my god all the true fucking colors that I needed to see and listen I'm a very understanding person I am a very like I will hear you out kind of person so here's how it kind of played out for me the two girls who were involved um one of them just genuinely fucked up we all fuck up sometimes you know we all behave out of character we all get looped into someone else's narrative we play the villain that's okay we're all gonna have those moments at some point in time if you can own up to that and look me in the eyes and

apologize and show up for me and be like yeah you know what I fucked up and I am so sorry and here are the direct actions that I am making in order to change and show up for you again she showed up to my first art show I was having that next weekend with flowers apologizing she wrote me notes she sent me texts she showed up in my life in ways that I never could have imagined and I forgave her and I still forgive her and I hope she's having a wonderful life and I only wish the best for her because I get it we all fuck up and as a friend if I were to fuck up I would want my friend to look at me like if I fucked up and you know apologize and wanted to make it better to be able to look at me and be like you know what I see you I hear you you're making a change

you're making an effort I forgive you and maybe we can work towards you know becoming really close again but that's gonna take some work as long as we're both willing to work I forgave her and I love her and I only wish her nothing but the best the other girl on the other hand which I feel like with friendship breakups these are kind of the only two ways it goes did not give a fuck you know did not care never spoke to me again never said I'm sorry was more so like a that sucks for you only focused on herself and those two people acting in those two ways really showed me the true colors of who those people were and a lot of the times as people all we can really do is see the way that people are expressing themselves and showing themselves directly to you and do so

what we can with that information and she showed me quite frankly she did not give a fuck that she hurt me and that shows me that she will probably hurt me again in the future so I took that as a sign to be like you know what I'm gonna take the time to mourn who I thought you were and who what I thought this friendship was gonna be and I'm gonna mourn that but it's not gonna happen so I need my distance and I need my space and I need to move on we have not been in contact I have not talked to her um I'm quite frankly not interested in talking to her it doesn't mean I don't wish her the best and hope that she's doing well it just means she ultimately was not going to be a good friend to me and she showed that to me and unfortunately sometimes the only thing that

people can do to show they're going to be a good or bad friend is to make those direct actions um i'm not sure what you two have going on but if she hurt you and she's trying to forgive and work it out sometimes it's worth just forgiving them and maybe trying to rekindle it but also if she hurt you openly and harshly and she does not give a fuck the only thing you can do is yes you're gonna mourn because it sucks but you have to move on and you have to reach out to new people and make new friendships and appreciate those times you did have you of course you're gonna have great times with those people whether they hurt you or not appreciate those good times it doesn't mean those good times are lost out on it just means that's the past we have information now

and we need to move forward in the future friendships are really hard friendship breakups are harder because you are losing a loved one and I'm very sorry you had to go through that especially getting hurt by somebody that you probably held a lot of love for and a lot of appreciation for but they showed you their true colors now all you can do is move forward with that information and also it's kind of it sucks that we have to go through real life traumatic experiences to like gain insight on life I wish I could just read a textbook about traumatic experiences and learn from them instead of having to actually experience them but now in the future with more the friendships that you have in the future you can kind of take this information

and this learning process and apply it to the other to other people and no that doesn't mean like put up walls or whatever but maybe you can set new boundaries in the future that can avoid these things or you can learn from these mistakes and you know make better friendships because of it but unfortunately we do have to leave some things in the past sometimes appreciate it for what you had and love them endlessly for the good times but also when people hurt you and they do not give a fuck that's the time to set boundaries and to remove those people from your life and the only thing you can do is move forward oh this is a good question okay someone asked how to tap into your sensuality i cannot perceive myself as sensual or sexy it feels weird okay felt i feel like for a

majority of my time or my time on this planet, I just could not see myself as sexy. I felt weird or awkward or out of place. And so step one is just to claim space. Claim your fucking area. I feel like a majority of the reason I didn't feel sexy was because I didn't feel comfortable within the space that I was holding up and the space that I was holding up was not a lot of space so step one is to stretch make yourself big put your hands up to the sky put your hands out wide contain the space that you're in and feel comfortable and containing the space that you're in okay hold the space that is your area you deserve to take up space and you feel you deserve to feel good in the space that you're taking up um like men have no fucking shame man spreading

everywhere everywhere they go do essentially that same fucking practice um just stretch make yourself big contain the area i feel like that is a really good step number one now step number two is just be naked be naked i used to like not feel comfortable with seeing my body because I didn't see my body a lot like I was always wearing giant hoodies or oversized pants or you know I was always covered so when I did see my body it was kind of like oh my god I just got flashed like whoa you know what I mean it was only before the shower and after the shower and when I was changing um be naked walk around your house naked when you're in front of the love of your life or somebody that you are romantically involved with oh my god sorry I have the hiccups

they're the worst today um I encourage you guys to both be naked to get comfortable in your natural body in your natural skin and not in like a sexy yeah I just like being naked all the time like no just claim your body again and get comfortable being in your body and just accepting your body for what it is okay there's no such thing as good or bad bodies there's just what we have um and I feel like kind of it's like exposure therapy but me just being comfortable being naked was step number one comfortable with the way my body rolls comfortable with the way my ass jiggles when I walk comfortable with um you know looking at my titties it's just you just have to kind of exposure therapy yourself now number two number three I guess yes is now looking at yourself in

a sensual way um I feel like we as women all have weird rituals that kind of make us feel good and sexy but for me my favorite way to kind of like perform this it's like a ritual in a sense is to put on good music you know feel the vibe dance around a little bit if you like dancing or if you're a little bit uncomfortable in your body dance okay just feel the beat feel the rhythm it's gonna be uncomfortable at first but keep practicing it okay put on your favorite song whatever it is be alone okay put your fucking blinds up if you need to whatever it is or down whatever just dance let your body move yoga is another great way to kind of you know get involved with your body but for me personally I'm not a huge yoga freak I am a huge dancing freak so

dance a little bit then I'll be like okay I'm gonna go smoke you know get my head in the right space and then my favorite thing is like okay I'm gonna go now put on makeup or I'm gonna I'm gonna do whatever makes me feel good whether it's makeup maybe a face mask you know you treat yourself you appreciate your body um you know get in the right mindset create a vibe for yourself and then interact with your body accordingly in whatever aspect that is for me personally it's me getting high putting on music dancing doing my makeup picking out a cute ass outfit taking pictures that is my favorite ritual to being like i'm feeling myself you know so whatever it is that makes you feel yourself and kind of like switches your brain into that sexy mode lean into it okay

and also take like a designated evening or night or morning or whatever time you find sacred to practice these things it's a it's gonna be uncomfortable at first it's gonna be weird at first when i first started walking around naked i was like i need to cover myself up or i need to hold my hands over my titties or whatever i feel exposed but now i have no fucking issue i am butt ass naked in my apartment constant constantly like my most comfortable being is honestly not having clothes on anymore and it took practice it did it took practice because i used to look at myself and be like listen sexy is not the first thing on my mind okay but now now that i have taken time to sit with my body and just like it's like i hate to use the word exposure therapy but

literally just look at my body and i'm not thinking good or bad thoughts about it i'm just sitting with it and appreciating it also I think a good thing that you can also practice in your daily life is if you are going to be with a partner make sure you are with a partner who is fully appreciating you okay only good things about your body are being said only positive things about your body are being said you should be treated like a goddess you should be loved you should be appreciated okay there should not be things being brought up that make you more insecure or make you worried about your body that is not a conductive way uh for two partners to exist okay of course you know when you're with a partner you're gonna feel a little it's it's you're

vulnerable that's okay that's a different feeling vulnerable vulnerability is a different feeling than not feeling appreciated so really take the time to focus on the on partners who are going to love and appreciate you and uplift that sexy feeling for you okay very simple practices but i guarantee you get home after work strip off your fucking glows go take a hot bath wander on your apartment naked with a glass of wine with good music on do this two three times a week for a month you will feel amazing you really will oh someone asked how do i stop being the problem lmao like i genuinely feel so shitty maybe you have a victim mentality and maybe you like the conflict because then you would like to make yourself out to be the victim and then you get

to focus on that feeling you get to focus on the feeling of being shitty guess what you don't have to feel shitty all the time you don't i used to forcefully make myself feel shitty by yes doing shitty things because it was a feeling that i was very comfortable with okay it was something that I have gotten used to and then I started realizing that oh my actions are directly affecting the way I'm feeling maybe if I was less shitty to myself or less shitty to the people around me I will feel better and that worked not to be like you a victim mindset but I feel like for me personally when I was in a phase like that it was definitely like I just like to play the victim and being the victim is not fun all the time you can be the good guy you can it's not that it quote-unquote fun because

it's not giving you anxiety but it will bring a lot more peace to your life which in the long run feels way better than any like high negative feeling that you're going to get try being nice try being kind try not putting yourself down try not putting the other people around you down yes peace is a little boring but you aren't going to be overwhelmingly consumed by sadness and anxiety all the time which honestly I feel like peace at that point is a way better trade hi Hannah sending much love I wanted to ask you for advice on an issue that I have I think it's like this deeper insecurity that I'm going to get cheated on or that my boyfriend whoever I'm dating doesn't like that I'm not like the most important girl in his life and it might have to do with the

fact that my first love cheated on me even though like he was a shit man and I have a great boyfriend now so I don't understand what the thing is there but like I'm so insecure that about my boyfriend's past he slept with so many more people than me and that it gets me so triggered so easily if like I even think about him going out and you know before he met me and now he's moving to the city near all the bars he used to go to and it just makes me feel so insecure and I feel like he's thinking like I always feel like he could be thinking about his past but I know that he loves me and he's like perfect and I know this is all in my head so um yeah any anything might help hi lovey I am so sorry you went through something in the past that really um is now affecting you

Um, I feel like when, of course, when people get cheated on, they're going to have those continuous anxieties for future relationships. Um, but let me tell you the most common rule when it comes to dating. If a person is going to cheat, they're going to cheat. There is no way of changing yourself. There's no, oh, I could have done this or, oh, I wish he didn't move here. or oh I wish I could have tried to do this or I wish I whatever all those I wishes or I should or whatever it is there is nothing you can do to stop a cheater from cheating and unfortunately

also there's really no warning signs or things you should look out for like of course general shitty people but good people cheat too the thing is people are going to cheat if they want to cheat it doesn't mean there's something wrong with you it doesn't mean you did something wrong it doesn't mean there was something you should have done it means they are a shitty person and that is how they behaved unfortunately and i'm so fucking sorry you had to put up with that in the past because yes of course that is going to bring anxieties for your future the best thing you can do is choose a partner who is open with you who is honest with you who you can build a relationship on trust so then when you're having these anxieties you can bring them up and you can

talk about them and you can come up with things to kind of ease them all right now I'm not saying you should be like I think you're gonna cheat on me because then I feel like that brings up anxieties for everybody I think a great way especially in maybe future more secure relationships where it's just an anxiety from the past is just being like hey this happened to me I would really appreciate it if we did ABC if you texted me when you got to the bar if we kept each other updated um little things like that but unfortunately there is nothing you can do to stop a cheater from cheating. The only thing you can do is open yourself up, be honest with that person, try and build a trusting relationship with another trusting human, leave if there's red flags, and if they do

cheat on you, leave immediately. All you can do is show up wholeheartedly and hope that the other person is showing up wholeheartedly as well. And if they're not, and if they show you their true colors you didn't do anything it is not your fault that person is just the scum of the earth and i'm so sorry you are in close proximity with them but we're probably going to have to distance ourselves now you know there's really nothing you did wrong at all but when it comes to future relationships and the relationship you are in now and where you were starting to get relationship anxiety when i do kind of get that anxiety where i'm like i don't really know where this is coming from he didn't really do anything for me to you know get anxious about this deep breathing

I asked myself why am I feeling this way and then if I can't settle it with myself as in being like hey I'm just having way too many intrusive thoughts way too much anxiety maybe I need to distract myself maybe I need to do this then yes I think it's okay to bring it up with your partner and to be like hey I'm a little nervous or anxious about this is there any way you know you could send me a reassuring text or you could reassure me when you get to the bar or whatever it is but unfortunately when it comes to relationships cheaters are gonna cheat they're just gonna cheat and all we can do is try to choose the best partners that we possibly can for ourselves and trust in ourselves and to not let the people who do hurt us get to us to a point where we

are now hurting other people in our future relationships but I get the relationship anxiety and there absolutely are ways you can work through it but I do think being open and honest with your partner even about your anxieties like open and honesty is very important no matter what in relationships but especially when it comes to your anxieties and don't like frame them in a way where you're like you're gonna do this just be like hey I'm anxious about this I would love it if we could work through this together and if they're a good trusting wonderful partner they should hear you out and be like yeah you know what I'm so sorry you're feeling anxious about this I would love to you know work with this on you I would love to you know provide reassurance for you

my partner asked for reassurance oh my god I would be more than happy to provide that for you why wouldn't I be um also if you're a fellow fucking crazy girl who has insane anxiety I have to set boundaries with myself um I don't have my partner's location because in my last relationship it would cause me so much anxiety and I was constantly checking it and it was not healthy even though I knew he would be where he was supposed to be it was that constant thought in the back of mind back of my mind well what if he isn't and oh my god I can just check his location real quick and just see just like put normal boundaries in place where it's like I'm letting that other person be themselves and I'm letting them choose their own decisions and I'm going to

work with the decisions they choose and they're going to work with the decisions I choose but we need to have a mutual respect and trust and build that up and be honest when we're anxious and be honest when we're excited and be honest about our past and be honest about what we want for the future and if they're a good partner they should hear all of these things out wholeheartedly and want to show up for you i guess all i really have to say is um i guess it's never about you and when it comes to cheating it's always about them every single one has their own selfish motivations for doing so whether it's being self-hatred attempting to self-sabotage the relationship because they don't believe they deserve it or because they're miserable and

they're looking for some form of validation and attempting to fill the void hoping things on the outside will fix what's wrong on the inside it's not you all right you're gonna have major trust issues but the one thing is this you must relinquish control you have absolutely no control over what other people are going to do you just go into things with an open mind now and just do what you always do put a hundred percent into every relationship and if you get cheated on you get cheated on it's always in the back of your head but if you spend too much time in your head thinking of ways how to prevent cheating you're not only wasting time but you're only going to exacerbate your insecurities about the issue itself live your life love with everything you

have but again you have no control over that other person you will learn to trust again but it takes time allow yourself to heal and a lot of the issues you are struggling with will start to dissipate and i guess you also just have to trust yourself to end things if it happens again you can't control people but you can control what you do if they if they betray you you have the power and the means to leave people who betray you unfortunately in relationships all we can really do is trust and hope and believe in the other person and when that other person shows us our true or their true colors same thing when it comes to friendships as soon as that person shows you their true colors the only control you have in the situation is what you do with that information

and trusting yourself to put yourself into better situations but i love you don't let yourself get in your head still open yourself up to love and be absolutely open and honest with your partners when it comes to your past and don't be afraid for some reassurance here and there i love you hi hannah uh my name is jasmine i just want to start off by saying that i love listening to your podcast I literally do it every Wednesday morning when I'm on my way to school and it just gives me the motivation to get through the like the last half of the week and I just love it and I love you and your advice and everything and I relate to you so much and you are just amazing but I'm actually calling in today for my boyfriend he recently moved into his like first apartment

house thingy and I'm not sure what to get him I know that Christmas is coming up so I keep asking him. What does he want? What does he need? But he refuses to tell me because he doesn't want me to spend any money on him. So I guess I was wondering, what did you need or want when you moved into your first apartment that you think might also be beneficial for him? Because I genuinely don't know as someone who's never had their own apartment. Anyway, I love you so much and thank you and ah you're just amazing bye hi okay um I didn't have like pots or pans for the first four months I lived in my apartment so like if your boyfriend not saying he is but if he's like me and just like kind of a dumbass and there's like little things he doesn't get for himself

pay attention to those little things and just go out of your way to get them okay give him like a month to get in to move in and then like evaluate the situation like hmm does he need some wall art when my boyfriend first moved into his place um i painted him some pictures some like cute little stuff you could easily do that you could even do it together or like get him a poster get him a skate deck that he can hang on the wall whatever it is that is always a great option even like men are not great at taking care of plants but if your boyfriend has like a green thumb some plants pothos are the easiest plants ever to take care of i guarantee he won't kill them he needs to water them like maybe once a week just whenever they're droopy you just dump some water on them

and they're happy um but yeah i say let him move in and then like evaluate and like if you show up a lot and you're like not eating with forks then just like buy forks or like spices i feel like i didn't have spices either for the first couple months and then my mom came over with like just an aldi's bag full of like 99 cent spices like 20 of them and i was like oh perfect now i don't have to buy new spices every time i go to the store because i don't have this certain one um that's a great idea like cooking essentials um nice sheets i feel like a nice sheets or like a nice comforter or new pillows really really make like a bed you know there's no better feeling than crawling into clean sheets and having a fluffy nice ass pillow um but yeah i think those

are all very great and like practical ideas for what to get him this is kind of a funny question but someone was like i have a question girly i'm getting my tonsils out and i was wondering how long should i take a tea break after because i'm so scared to take one i smoke every day how long should i stop smoking before the surgery that way i don't fuck up the anesthesia blah blah when it comes i've said this before i don't care if you're underage i don't care what it is i don't care if you live in a legal state you have doctor patient confidentiality and no one's gonna tell on you for smoking weed so if you smoke weed tell your doctor tell them okay they're not gonna get mad at you ask your mom to leave whatever it is be like hey i have a question for the doctor

i'm gonna ask you to leave you can do that with your parents if they get mad at you they can get mad at you whatever you deserve that confidentiality but literally tell your doctor hey i smoke is that gonna affect this hey i smoke how many days should i you know avoid doing this when i got my wisdom teeth out that was the first time i was ever honest with my doctor and i was like 16 17 and you know i was a heavy smoker and i got them taken out and you know how they're like you can't like pull on like do any pulling motion like sucking motion because it'll like oh gross but it was like fuck up your mouth so i was honest you know i was like hey before i go into this my dad's out in the office signing paperwork whatever i smoke how long should i avoid this

okay or what should i do and they were very honest with me and very open with me and they did not quite frankly give a fuck okay doctors have heard all of the craziest shit ever i don't think they're gonna care that you smoke okay be honest with your doctors they know more than you do literally my boyfriend had to go to the doctor because he was like i think i did too much shrooms and fucked up my brain and he told the doctor that the doctor was like oh maybe but i don't think so like let's look at some other things and they got it figured out but like be honest they don't care they just want to make sure you feel good and if they do care find a new doctor okay because usually doctors really shouldn't care and they should just want you to be your best self

oh someone said i'm always tired and no amount of sleep will fix it what do i do help i feel like when i'm getting 12 hours of sleep a day i'm more tired than when i'm getting like a solid eight or like seven and a half or like eight and a half you really only need like a certain amount of sleep and then also key to not being tired is to make sure you're drinking enough water you are eating enough nutrients and you are in a set routine okay a lot of tiredness does not actually come from you being actually like tired like you need sleep um a lot of it comes from nutrient and brain balance um when i am like severely dehydrated i am so exhausted because my body can't do its normal functions because i don't have enough water in my system or food

if i'm not eating enough food your body cannot work to the level that it needs to because it doesn't have enough nutrients make sure you're getting the right nutrients and make sure you're eating like on a good schedule okay wake up eat a little bit of protein have some toast have a yogurt whatever it is just get a little bit of something in you lunch make sure you're eating lunch dinner make sure you're eating dinner make sure you're getting good nutrients so your body can keep working um also if you're tired you can kind of like trick your brain into being untired all you have to do is kind of force it to release happy um chemicals such as dopamine the feel-good chemicals you know what i mean and a lot of that comes through exercise so just getting your body

up and stretching um moving your legs going for a walk even just like hitting the gym and going for a 15 minute run whatever is that will help you kind of trick your brain into being in production mode you know what I mean um but a lot of my tiredness I have found comes from like me lacking in other areas of life um not from me actually not getting enough sleep you really only need like eight hours I go to bed at like 10 11 and I wake up at like eight or nine and I feel like that is usually a good amount of sleep and i don't take naps but when i am exhausted i usually find it's because i'm lacking nutrients okay someone asked for my christmas wish list which i shared on my patreon a couple weeks ago but i figure this is a great time to bring up like a little

bit of favorites of mine things i'm looking for and give you guys some ideas for friends family loved ones whatever it is here is what's on my list okay first i love a great scent especially my boyfriend loves a great scent he loves it when i like and smell good when i have a signature scent so this would be a great um like a gift for somebody who really loves those things or even loves those things on you but the burberry her perfume my mom used to wear this all the time so it makes me a little nostalgic but it's the perfect mix of like floral fresh fruity a little light very clean um and you can get the travel size for pretty cheap at sephora and i'm assuming they'll have lots of sales but the Burberry Her Perfume is just amazing okay another one this is

a little bougie not really though it's a Louis Vuitton Speedy 35 bag um it's like a almost like a bowling shape bag a little smaller than like an overnight duffel but not as small as it's a purse and it makes the perfect weekender bag okay because you can fit like two three outfits in there my balenciaga bag is amazing but you can only fit enough for like a day of stuff so like maybe a t-shirt a bikini um a couple notebooks a pencil bag you can't really fit like a weekender amount of stuff in there which is why i was looking for this specific bag and before you're like hannah who's gonna drop a couple thousand dollars on a fucking handbag i get it i only buy my bags pre-used because here's the thing I change my bags out very quickly I love a good designer

bag and you can get them for very cheap second hand so I always get all my bags for second hand um I don't care if it's been a little bit loved I'm probably gonna love it even harder and it's gonna get even more damage so I don't mind if it has a couple you know stains a couple bruises here in there um okay the clarins lip oil in cherry i used to be a slut for the dior lip oil um incredible it's like not super sticky but it's a little bit more sticky than the clarins lip oil i feel like the clarins lip oil is actually like more hydrating and i love the cherry color i think it adds a perfect rose tint to your lips i've been trying to get my hands on it for forever and i think it's a great everyday essential um another great opportunity great thing that you can get

somebody and i would love it if someone got me this is a tarot reading um if somebody is not huge into like actual gifts they don't really care for things another thing you can get them is just like a experience whether it's like a cooking class um you guys go and do something together pottery a tarot reading for me amazing i would absolutely fucking love that um you can give them like an hour reading maybe an hour meeting with a psychic whatever it is it's a fun little experience i got the notes on shape-shifting book a while ago and it's amazing it's been living on my bedside table since then i like to read like one poem a day um or else i would have just devoured the whole fucking book in a day i really needed to like take time to prioritize um taking

time taking my time throughout the book but i think it's a really easy and great stocking stuffer Notes on Shapeshifting by Psy Swoon. It's amazing. It's perfect for all my dreamy girls out there. The people who romanticize life, who love life, who like to get a little spiritual. Love it. Amazing. Another thing, and this is like the bougier side, is I've been obsessed with this company eddie parker flower for a while now they make some incredible pieces some amazing bowls some really abstract pipes bongs whatever it is out of this beautiful glass um they even make some really fun like containers grinders really just fun smoking related products and i have been wanting to invest in some pieces of theirs for a while now i'm like if i'm gonna drop 200 300

on a bong and in like my local shop i might as well drop 200 300 on like a bong from like a like a little bit fancier you know a little bit more handcrafted love it if you're also a big fan of smells this is a great one the glossier candle i just saw they released a candle i swear up and down but they buy their glossier perfume i use it all the time i'm literally running out which is why i'm now looking at the burberry her perfume but i get so many compliments on it so of course i want my whole entire house to smell like it and they smell can't or they sell candles now so what is better than that um i'm also a huge slut for moisturizer especially when it comes to any anything like face care related and the doe moisturizer do doe whatever it is d-i-e-u-x

moisturizer is supposed to be like the holy grail of all moisturizers um and i've been really really wanting to try it out for a while now so of course i added that to my christmas list on my list as well robes if you need something to get your girlfriends need something to get your boyfriend you know you have a friend who loves the lounge around the house very much so on the bougier side of life get them a robe there is nothing better than being able to wander around your house in a robe um one robe that I'm looking for specifically is the hotel robe um specifically in the pink roses print it is beautiful it's a long it's terry cloth has this amazing pink roses with these green petals all over the entire robe it is adorable um and a great Christmas gift

I've been hunting for this like a body pillow for forever now but it's basically it's a body pillow of Lana Del Rey's tweet that says I will not fuck you the fuck up period I think it was directed towards Azealia Banks but I have been wanting that pillow for forever now I think it was um originally made by fuck what's his name I'm totally blanking on his name but I think you can buy them on Redbubble now I know they probably sell them on Redbubble another great like um experience related gift for somebody is a new tattoo uh would love it if someone's like i'll just pay for a new tattoo for you like are you kidding me and a couple last ones a crystal ball like if you're if you have a girlfriend who's like a crystal hoe get her a crystal ball

like what is better than being able to have your own crystal ball and i was in like the metaphysical shop the other day and crystal balls are like surprisingly cheap i was like i can get a giant fucking like bowling ball size crystal ball for a hundred dollars are you kidding me okay some other simple things um cute mugs you can go to a thrift store hunt around find some really cute mugs to get people um also cute ashtrays ebay has a bunch of really adorable ashtrays i've been wanting to invest in some playboy ones for a while now so possibly those a matcha set um i asked for that for my parents just like a some ceremonial grade matcha the whisk the stand everything you need um i've also been asking for a stripper pole would love a stripper pole for my

apartment amazing great way to work out in your own space um and then jeffrey campbell just released these like toe heels this is very niche but they're like heels and then it has like the outline of toes on the top which i think is kind of hot so that's also on my christmas list but if you want to see like the actual pictures and stuff go subscribe to my patreon um i have that whole list there but that's kind of what i'm looking forward to for christmas this year hey Hannah so me and my ex broke up about to be like four months ago and we dated for two years before that and we broke up because we just grew apart it wasn't anything serious we're both young um we're 16 and so we kind of just grew apart but we recently started reconnecting and things are

going good we've been talking for a week now and my problem is is none of my friends agree with my decision to try to work things out with him again and I just don't know what to do with that because it's like I feel like I can't even talk to them without them telling me I'm a dumb bitch you know so I don't know if you have any advice for me on that because I really like would like my friends to be supportive but like I know that I've said some bad things about him um just like things that have gone wrong you know anyways thank you listen you're 16 you're young all I have to say to anybody who is under 18 is your priority should not be on set on boys okay I get it you're young you want to experience the idea of adulthood boys are gonna fucking drive you insane so if

they're gonna drive you insane let them drive you insane later on down the road um also if you have friends around and you only use your friends to talk about your boyfriend and all the bad things going on they're only gonna hear those bad things and then they're only gonna see him in a negative light so of course they're not gonna support you um i don't really know the full aspect of the situation here but I do believe when your friends don't like your boyfriend that is a very very telling sign of who they really are um I'm not really sure what sort of extra advice I can give other than sometimes your friends are right um if you want your friends to like your boyfriend then you have to tell them the good and the bad you can't just use them as an outlet for venting

about your about all the horrible things your boyfriend has done and also if you're young don't waste your time on boys okay you're all very young and not super emotionally regulated yet and i think relationships get a lot easier once you just get older and you get wiser and you go through more things um and the one thing i really loved that i saved myself from when i was younger is i just didn't mess with boys i didn't mess with boys till i got older um and they still fucking ruined my life but I'm glad I had some peace throughout my teen years of just letting myself be a teen and have little crushes and really just spend time hanging out with my friends I wasn't really focused on boys it was just me having fun and getting into trouble with my

friends which honestly what is better than that also if you're a younger person 10 out of 10 best advice i can give you is your friends always come over boys do not let a boy get in between you and your friends okay your situation was a little vague so i hope this helps or put some things into perspective but i love you and you'll get through it oh my gosh someone said broke up with my boyfriend because they said they were a slut and can't promise they won't have sex with others dot dot dot see this is what i mean by men will say who they are and you have to take it at face value and be like you're insane i'm immediately removing myself from the situation like that is psychotic behavior you know what yeah let him go be a slut but let him be far fucking away from you

because if he's gonna be a slut and in a relationship with you he's putting you at danger also of course he's just like ignoring your emotional needs as a person but like he's of course putting your health at danger so yeah you honestly did the right thing and he's kind of a loser so do not feel bad about it all righty someone said is period sex gross will the right guy not care if you're on your period period fingering okay lots of questions here for me personally i feel like when it comes to sex every single person is going to have their own boundaries and their own ways of doing things just because you like getting punched in the face during sex does not mean like does not mean that i like getting punched in the face during sex just

because i like having period sex does not mean every single other person is gonna like having period sex so i feel like before i have these conversations about sex love whatever it is I do like to say that sex is very intimate and definitely going to vary per person so when you are meeting up with a new person or you are about to have a new sexual relation or whatever I'm trying to say always have a conversation with that person beforehand of hey what do you like what do you dislike before we jump into things okay because once you jump into things and you haven't had that conversation that's where you know it's like it's a little muddy the situation is a little muddy like I have been I like I'm not into slapping I don't like getting hit in bed in

general like if you hit me I'm gonna fucking hit you back it's not like a sexual thing for me so don't fucking hit me and I have been in bed before with somebody you know haven't had this talk at all and you know and they slap me and I'm like okay immediately turned off immediately leave And that could have been solved if I just, you know, would have had these conversations beforehand about boundaries. So step number one, before we, you know, talk anything at all, we're all going to have different preferences. And a lot of these preferences you don't really know until you try. Of course, you're going to have inklings of how you feel before you try it. But if you were with somebody, I really, really encourage you to sit down and have these conversations.

and whatever they're into and whatever they're not into you should not judge them and whatever you're into and whatever you're not into you should not be judged upon does that make sense okay going forward i love period sex that is because i am a little bit hornier during my period um so of course i don't want to miss out on that horniness i want to take advantage of it of course i want to have sex if you are not a blood person but you still want to have sex you can easily just do it in the shower okay it goes right down the drain easy peasy you're already lubricating because it's gonna be wet down there from blood but can easily you know wash it off that's the easiest place to have sex um if you're in bed lay a towel down okay have a towel next to

you invest in wet wipes wet wipes are amazing especially for period sex unscented okay um make sure they are allergy friendly wet wipes are fantastic but period sex for me personally a yes now there's been times where like i'm on my period i'm cramping no i don't fucking want a dick in me but these are conversations i have with my partner where like you know if i feel like he's like you know feeling himself and i'm just not i will just be like hey i am not feeling myself right now it's not you I'm having crazy cramps I'm just not in the mood let's just stop this before we get it started you know and that communication should be respected always if you were communicating you should always be respected okay period sex love fingering on my period not a huge fan like

I would rather have a dick inside me um than have your hands all a hot fucking mess you know what I mean but i haven't eaten out on my period you just keep a tampon in like tuck the string in that works i've done a lot of things but for me personally yeah period sex it's fun it's gonna be a little bit messier of course but i personally i think blood's like kind of hot because i'm a freak um so i personally love it i think it's fantastic if you are not a blood person valid perfectly fine uh you don't have to do it always communicate your needs do you know what i mean very very important life lessons here but yeah i think always always always like when you're with your partners talk about these things ask them these questions they should be mature enough to

hear these things and have a conversation with you if they're like giggling like he what do you mean like you're so dumb and like not not answering your questions or like ignoring you they are not mature enough to be having sex with you okay sex is a very intimate serious thing um and I feel like I used to like be like oh sex is whatever you know but then I was like you know my feelings got hurt a little bit so I think it's important to protect yourself and to have these conversations and these conversations should be normalized and also they can be sexy okay you can make these conversations sexy it can be like a sort of foreplay oh do you like it when I touch you here um oh my god i would love it if you did this to me whatever it is um always talk about

boundaries bring these things up with your partners but period sex for me personally gets that stamp of approval i i love now there is something to say about men who think periods are dirty um that in itself is a whole nother conversation i think that's more so stemmed in like some misogyny and assuming that women and the things that we go through naturally are a dirty shameful act when in reality it's just a natural part of our cycle and if you were around a man who was kind of like behaving in that way i do think that's a huge red flag men should respect women they should respect what women are going through um especially because we have to fucking go through those every month and the least you can fucking do is like respect

me and get me a fucking heating pad in my favorite food period point blank do you know what i mean this past week i was having like a complete mental breakdown and i was like sobbing on the fucking floor my boyfriend's like what's wrong and i was like i don't know i'm going insane like i don't know what's wrong with me like what's going i don't know what's going on i was just about to start my period and i needed to cut my bangs like that's really it like it is sometimes that simple like when i think i'm losing my goddamn mind i need to i always have to be like I think my period's coming up like what's the day I I think it's about to start but someone asked period tips and tricks since we're on the topic favorite comfort food what do you do for

cramps and how to stay sane um so I have come up with some tips and tricks for myself when it comes to my period after having them for such a fucking long time um and here are my go-to's a you're not losing your mind okay if you're going through it check your app check whatever the date is uh you're probably about to start your period so be kind to yourself be nicer to yourself and also for me personally I like to warn my boyfriend I know that sounds dumb like oh you shouldn't have to give them a warning but genuinely my hormones are so out of whack that it feels like sometimes I become a different person so I do like to give a little bit of a warning just to be like don't take it fucking personally babe like just chill take take those things I say off the

shoulder you know just like take it easy be nice to me i'm gonna be a little extra sensitive you know i feel like that's a very general like conversation to have just to like make sure the playing ground is fair next cramps i used to have the worst fucking cramps ever to the point where i would pass out from my cramps um one thing i can say is my periods were way heavier when i was younger it's just a part of growing up your uh cycle gets way more regular your hormones will balance out um your body will kind of get into a natural flow of things and it does take a few years so if you're younger and it seems like fucking crazy I'm so sorry you'll grow up it'll get easier I promise um but I was having to wear like super plus tampons and change them every 30

minutes that's how heavy my period was um and it got to a point where I realized my tampons were making my cramps way worse. When I am cramping, I, honest to God, want nothing else inside of me at all. So I was a tampon user for five years and I stopped using them completely. Now I love free bleeding. I guess you could use a pad, you can call it whatever you want, but free bleeding is the fucking way to go, especially if you have the worst cramps. i'm currently on my period and i'm just like wearing underwear as normal my iud made my period way lighter which is nice i still have it which i also love because i like to make sure that i'm still in sync in cycle um but it's way lighter which is really really nice which means i can

free bleed and it's just a little bit it's not like i'm bleeding out everywhere it's not unhygienic because i'm in my own fucking house and if i do leave the house i will either either put in a tampon for that like I have to go work a shift sure I'll throw in a tampon I'll eat some Advil to power through the cramps um but if I'm fucking at home doing my own thing the best thing you can really do for yourself is just sit on a towel just let it out okay um I used to free bleed I didn't realize this was free bleeding but it definitely was I used to just like sit on the toilet and just like let it all drip out for like 30 minutes then I realized oh I can just do this in my bed on a towel and it's it's not dirty like I said your period is a very normal thing

um just get you got to get used to it and you got to accept your body for what it is and you got to go with the flow fucking literally you know what I mean and for me personally the one thing that really really helped my cramps was getting rid of tampons um just made it so much worse and also I've tried diva cups uh I was I was using those and then my doctor was like don't use those because it could suck out your iud so i stopped using those so i don't have a lot of information on those but i would assume it would also cause cramps because it is something inside of you does that make sense um another great thing sticky heating pads i love technology they make sticky heating pads so it's like instead of having to carry around a heating pad everywhere

you go or like say you want a heating pad and have to go to work you know you can't just like have a fucking rice bag with you and heat it up in the microwave every five minutes get a sticky heating pad okay i don't know what they're called you can get them on amazon though they look like a little butterfly shape and they stick to you i have to get an iud a new one in a couple weeks and i am about to bring one of those with me and wear it during the whole insertion process because i know it'll like help with my cramps um and then you don't have to mess around with the you know oh my god it's falling down or i have to hold it here all day it sticks to you oh my god what's fucking better than that do you know what i mean lots of ibuprofen is also a friend

when i'm on my period about a thousand milligrams in the morning and after i eat lunch that's kind of the way to go about it um lots of water um water especially if you drink enough it'll help you help your period kind of go by faster helps the cramps helps you so you're not light light headed because you're losing so much blood um make sure you're taking like a women's multi-day or a multivitamin every day that'll help with you so you're also not not light-headed i'm anemic so my periods are a little bit extra tiring because i just i'm losing extra iron you know what i mean um treat yourself a little bit i always make sure i'm getting my favorite food which is like tacos always maybe have a little margarita um that's my all-time comfort food i think i'm gonna go get

some tonight i'm gonna convince my boyfriend to go get me some tacos and a margarita we'll see um but that's my all-time favorite comfort food some soup some panera soup come on nothing better but indulge a little bit let yourself be you naturally don't try and hide it or feel shameful whatever is most comfortable to you is the best thing that you can really do for yourself um but for me personally that is free bleeding or having a pad the sticky heating pads lots of ibuprofen lots of water and my favorite food every once in a while do you know what i mean but that's really the best thing you can do for your for yourself on your period and also take it easy don't be too hard on yourself all right it's a little bit of a harder time but it's not that long luckily it's

only a week oh being a woman what a gift oh okay someone asked how to get over the what if I'm wrong part of trusting your gut hmm okay I've talked about trusting your gut before and I feel like a lot of it comes from just intuition and a lot of people are like well how do I tap into my intuition how do I trust my gut and the key is it will feel overwhelmingly right okay you don't know why you don't know what the message is there's no reasoning behind it it just feels good and I felt that way about a lot of things um so like say I'm at a party and it's like I'm getting tired I feel like the night's just not going how I want and I start thinking about okay well I just want to go home not feeling my gut in me tells me yeah you want to go home your intuition is you

telling you to listen to that and to go home and you're gonna have a good night it feels overwhelmingly good right this is a very just simple kind of explanation of it but it comes in more complex forms such as um me dropping out of school i just knew i needed to trust my gut i saw myself i saw my current place i saw my future and i knew what was the right move to make and unfortunately it's not always the easiest move to make you know that it's just gonna bring you peace in the future of course you're gonna have those doubts you're gonna have those anxieties the uh what if kind of part like the what if i'm wrong those are natural parts of making a decision but if it is meant to be right it will be overwhelmingly peaceful you will envision

that future whatever it is even if it's just you going home after a late night party that future feels overwhelmingly peaceful the gut instinct to drop out of college not your gut instinct my gut instinct very it's like a very specific part of my life but the future that I was envisioning for myself felt overwhelmingly peaceful me deciding to do a podcast it felt overwhelmingly peaceful um me deciding to go on a trip it felt overwhelmingly peaceful imagining that future you know it is a gut right or a right gut decision and you are trusting your intuition when the future you are envisioning from your actions feels good and it feels right and it feels like you are aligning with your purpose with what is truly calling to you what is truly

meant for you and what you truly want to make for yourself okay a great practice for this sit down get out your journal. Think about five, even 10 years in the future. Whatever is easiest for you to imagine. It could be 20 years, whatever it is. Your future you, that goal you, where are you? What do you look like? What are you doing? What kind of life are you living? What is your morning routine look like? What is your favorite food? Do you have any pets? Who is surrounding you? go into exact detail of where you want to get who you want to be it doesn't have to be like oh I want to be a super fucking famous person and I want to have a million fucking dollars make it realistic for me personally I just wanted my own place with big windows and lots of plants and a

loving partner that's really all I was writing down for myself it does not have to be complex think about who you want to be in the future think about your most peaceful optimistic ideal place write it down you can get it's like a creative writing kind of uh deal you know get creative with it go into detail you can also make like a mood board for yourself if you're more of a visual person go into pinterest collect a bunch of images make a collage you know get this idea in your head now when you get those gut instincts and those feelings think about to that practice think about where you were and who you were and the things you were doing now that gut instinct that intuition you're feeling does that lead you to that place or does it lead you down a deep dark

hole if it's leading you to uh towards that place then that is your intuition telling you that this is the right move to make okay now if you get a gut instinct and or you get a feeling or an idea and it's not leading you to that place and you get that feeling of oh this doesn't you know this doesn't feel right uh this is this might go wrong this isn't leading me to where I want to get then maybe it's not the right move but the thing is with any decision that you're gonna make and any sort of idea that you're going to come up with and any specifically like hard choice that you are going to have to make for yourself because life is full of hard choices unfortunately you know life is a game and we have to be active players in it and that includes making tough

decisions for ourself for the betterment of ourselves you're gonna get those you know that wishy-washy feeling of but what if it doesn't work out or but what if this isn't the right choice but but what if it's you know if you're looking forward and you see this choice that you're making leading towards your ideal self where you want to be your dreams your futures then it's the right decision okay and you can brush off that what if question it's gonna be hard the decisions you make are probably going to be hard. Some of the best decisions I've had to make for myself were gut instincts that completely changed the trajectory of my life, but absolutely were the hard decisions that I needed to make in order to make my life better. I had a lot of well what ifs and me staying

up at nights, but at the end of the day I was thinking about these decisions I was going to make and I was seeing myself in a better place and that is all that matters, okay? Yes, it's going to be a little confusing but that's why that practice is so necessary that's why that visual visualization is so necessary you have to build goals for yourself so you're able to achieve those goals okay you have to have dreams for yourself in order to a dream or in order to achieve those dreams if you don't dream if you don't set goals then you have nothing to achieve and then that anxiety is going to be even more wishy-washy because you have nothing to look forward to so if you honestly you know what let's set some fucking homework for you guys usually i do this

on patreon but we're gonna do some homework for you guys tonight i want you to sit down and i want you to dream okay not like literally go to bed and sleep but like dream get creative with it okay write down you know what i my name is blank i am this many years old i currently live in this area I am currently doing this all right and then on the next page write down like 5 10 15 years later whatever you want to visualize in blank amount of years I want to be here I will look like this I will be doing this I will be surrounded by this this is where I'll be living you can get you can dream about anything it can be anything write it down visualize it for yourself so when you have those gut instincts and that intuition you can listen to it and you can visualize is

this setting me on the path that I think is best for me or is this going to push me back and push me further away from the goals and the dreams that I have for myself because if it's pushing you away then it's not a gut instinct then it's probably not a great choice but if it is pushing you down that path of what is great and amazing and wonderful and is going to build you a safe and happy life in the future then that is something that is good okay and you just sometimes got to put up with the anxieties okay hard choices are gonna bring anxieties but at the end of the day if it brings you peace then it is a good gut instinct all right i get it especially with anxiety living with anxiety i i question everything around me all right but when you question

everything around you you have to set like checks and balances for yourself and for me personally when it comes to intuition and being able to listen to my intuition fully this is the best checks and balance for that for that feeling of intuition or even being able to connect to your intuition and kind of avoid those anxieties a little bit dream a little bit set goals I promise you'll achieve them and it'll be way easier to make choices in your life and become an active player if you dream and you visualize and you work your way towards him but with that being said I am tired of hiding in this closet I'm literally just sitting on the floor someone was like do you have a recording podcast studio I was like oh girl oh babes no I literally am usually just

laying in bed naked recording this right now I'm on the floor of a closet we do what we have to do in order to make our dreams come true period point blank but I love you all thank you for joining me for an extra little special episode it's been so fun I just I've had some days off so I was like you know what we'll throw out an extra episode you know it's better to have two than one right no one's gonna complain about an extra episode plus I like hanging out with you guys it's so fun to get to sit and chat and go over so many different topics so I hope you all what a wonderful fucking Thursday, um, and have a safe, safe weekend. Let me know if you guys practice this, um, that little homework I gave you. Feel free to write it down, tag me, whatever

it is. I love seeing you guys, um, out in the world. I love seeing what you're doing, what you're getting up to, how you're taking my advice, where you're listening to this podcast. I love connecting with you guys on any level that I can. So I love you all. Have a wonderful, wonderful fucking weekends and i will see you all on tuesday tuesday