Smoke Sesh - Hannahs favorites, luck, t breaks and coke

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

This week there is only one episode as we take a lil holiday break (expect two episodes next week!). Today we talk everything Hannahs asking for for Christmas and all her favorite things, what to gift boys, luck, tattoos, t breaks, identity, and so much more. Happy Tuesday and welcome to smoke sesh with Hannah!

good morning how are we doing today it's tuesday time for a new podcast episode i'm so excited i just i literally slept the fuck in i'm feeling good i definitely needed that i started my new job you guys which last podcast i was literally leaving to go to my new job but it's going great it's going fantastic all my co-workers are super cool i made hellish money i had fun so like literally what's better than that i slept in today felt great i usually can only sleep in until like 7 38 i know like crazy my body's schedule is like completely out of whack i slept until 10 today incredible my brain actually can like process things now that i have enough sleep in me um but it's gonna be a good day we're gonna have a great time i'm so excited i'm ready to get into

the holiday season it's coming up on us i really need to go decorate i feel like i need to go buy a bunch of christmas stuff and i need to go get like matching pajamas for me and my boyfriend and i feel like i need to go cook a bunch of like really yummy homemade food i like obviously well i probably i'm celebrating thanksgiving thursday obviously like everybody else um but i'm making mac and cheese i'm making that one tiktok bitch's mac and cheese i know you've seen it i know i know you know who i'm thinking of i just don't know her name because i'm horrible at remembering names she's a bad bitch who makes cooking videos and they always blow the fuck up and show up on my tiktok page because they look incredible it's her mac and cheese i know you saw

her scooping that mac and cheese with the triple layer cheese oh my god that's what i'm making so hopefully it turns out good i'm gonna plan i'm gonna go thrifting after this after i film this try and go thrift some room decor for my room because i feel like i need to spice it up a little bit um it just feels a little bit empty i might go buy a meat some mirrors i love mirrors i love painting on mirrors they're like great for decoration that way just like little knickknacks little fun things i don't know just gonna go relax spend my day having fun because i have to possibly work tomorrow ew anyways let's get into some questions i know you're not here to hear me ramble on about my life but honestly you kind of are but welcome um i feel like i need to change

the cover of my podcast uh right now the cover of my podcast is well it's like green and then it's just like smoke sash i love the smoke sash lettering i think it's perfect i think it's a great logo um I feel like I need my face on the cover somehow like you know when you see podcasts and it's like the cute little girly setup like professional photo with the little microphone in their hand and the logo on top like the professionalism I feel like I need to put my face on it because so many of you guys reached out to me and were like uh I don't follow you anywhere other than the podcast like popping up on my Spotify recommended so when I came to your Instagram you look nothing like what I was expecting but like what are you expecting me

to look like like I am a blonde midwestern bitch who smokes a lot of weed I'm not sure what you're expecting um but I do feel like I need my photo on there just something like fun something cute maybe not though I do kind of like the animosity of it all let me know what you think let's get into some questions though because I'm just rambling at this point now that I have money though like i am in the mood to do some shopping i'm in the mood to do some shopping i love shopping i love it online shopping love it every time a package arrives at my door instant serotonin the serotonin that floods my body as i'm opening a package incredible nothing compares um but i was i've been broke for a while now that i'm like actually making money because i have a job

like a fast money income job like you make hellish money serving very quickly now i'm like i want to spend some money but christmas is coming up so we're gonna go over hannah's hot girl christmas list i know i'm sure i'll add to this but i just had to come up with this for my mom because she was like bitch i need fucking answers like what do you want because i don't know what to get you so let's go over some things that i am asking for on my christmas list so you guys have some ideas as well um if obviously i'm not telling you to go buy these things like i could fucking care less these are just you know things that i feel like i would enjoy around my house first of all i already have one of these um it's a hydro flask obsessed the issue with my hydro flask right now

is that it's a little too small i got it that size so it could fit in cup holders um but i'm asking for like a large hydro flask and the thing with hydro flasks is if you're getting one you have to get one with a straw lid i am obsessed with the straw lids because i hate having to fucking twist open the giant canister of water and drink out of it and then it like all fucking spills all over you that's how my boyfriend drinks water i'm like you are like an animal i cannot do that i mean i'm a lady i'm a lady okay i need a straw lid and then i asked for it in a um carnation color which is like a really really beautiful like berry like a berry pink love my other one's like a teal blue so i feel like they'd be they go good together okay next um love coffee love it i spend

quite honestly 14 a day on coffee i know i get two fucking coffees a day if i don't make it at home but I don't make a lot of coffee at home because I'm not a huge fan of drip coffee as I say that as I'm literally drinking the drip coffee out of my mug oh my god my mug so cute has all these little hearts on it my boyfriend thrifted it this is all my love it's so cute um but my personal favorite way to drink coffee is espresso because you can mix it in and then it could be like a little latte but I don't have means of doing that because I only have a drip coffee machine so I asked for um an espresso machine um I found one on Amazon for like I think it was only like 45 dollars it's called like the so tech or something if I had money I would ask

for a nespresso but like I'm not gonna ask my mom for a 250 dollar nespresso machine because that is psychotic and I quite honestly could never ask my parents for anything that expensive um so like yeah a cheap ass little espresso pot something i can make espresso on love that would be incredible for me next um recently my under eyes okay skincare personally my under eyes have been really dry lately so i've been wanting these um their eye patches like you know the little patches that you put on under your eyes to i don't fucking know make them not dry is my issue but that the per mellow eyes hemp infused eye patches the only reason i haven't bought them for myself is because they're 30 and if i'm going to spend 30 we really need to think about it but

it's a perfect christmas gift you know a little stocking stuffer a little fun thing also if you're looking for more skincare items um the neutrogena hydro gel water mask fuck i don't know what it's called so many descriptive words but that um found not foundation that moisturizer incredible incredible I don't think it's that expensive and oh my god it actually might be I think maybe $20 I don't know it's a fat tub though it'll last you a while that is my favorite um moisturizer I've ever found and it's taken me forever to find any sort of moisturizer that works with my skin and doesn't make me break out because I have oily skin um and then oh okay so if you're asked if you need another good like um skincare item

how do i say say this only oh my god it's okay so it's a face mask um and it's the cold cold poor oh my god i'm gonna butcher this cold poor plunge mask okay you can get it at sephora that's where i purchased it it's the ollie henriksen i know i butchered that fucking name but it's like 30 it's a fat tube of this incredible incredible face mask that is for your pores okay but with pore items um i'm used to like the clay masks or the sticker masks where it like pulls the the purpose of it is to like pull out the dead shit and it kind of dries up on your skin and your skin gets really dry i found that is really bad for my skin because my skin doesn't need to be dried out that much through like clay or through like something

sticking to my face this mask instead oh my god it's a beautiful bright blue teal okay rub it on your face it feels like you just rubbed a burt's bees chapstick all over your face it's like a tingly cold sensation it is so refreshing when you wash it off it's like you just dipped your face in ice water and your pores will be the smallest you've ever seen them literally i have like like gaping whole size pores and they will be non-existent after i take this face mask off so 10 out of 10 recommend i think is a really good purchase um i asked for this like little mushroom blanket from Urban Outfitters but that's not really unnecessary okay the lip glow oil by Christian Dior I'm fucking addicted I'm addicted okay I put this

shit on seven times a day maybe more maybe 20 I don't fucking know all I know is I spent $30 on it and I have gone through it in two months I know and that's quick I'm saying that's quick like you should probably not go through it in two months I just use it all the fucking time because I'm obsessed because it's not just a lip gloss like with lip glosses I have this issue where it's like sticky I don't like the stickiness um this is more like an oil so it also moisturizes your lips while it's at while you're at it and then I get the rosewood color and it gives this beautiful like soft pink tint if you look at my lips in any pictures and they're like slightly moisturized it's probably with that fucking lip gloss because i'm obsessed um so i asked for that

but i'm pretty sure it's sold out on the sephora website so i think you have to go to the christian dior site um i asked for a lot of clothes from los angeles apparel i love los angeles apparel the few items that i have bought through their new rebrand of like american apparel have been great quality incredible quality okay i also have multiple american apparel pieces in my closet that have lasted me since eighth grade so i know that like this company um makes quality pieces you know quality staples as well if you need just like really good basics great company um they also like fight to make sure that they're paying their workers like a livable like livable wage and give them adequate rights and it's all made in los angeles so i think that's incredible um i asked

for like a skirt some jumpsuits some things like that um more clothes i asked for i actually asked for some skims i know i'm like i'm not a huge fan of kimberly like love i'm sure she's a great gal well i'm sure that's debatable i'm pretty neutral on my feelings about her but her fucking skims line girl that shit is so good I know it's okay so the fabric they make it out of I wouldn't say it's breathable as in I would want to wear anything tight and long sleeve or tight and short sleeve because I sweat so much and I feel like the sweatiness and the tightness and the material would not work but if you're getting a dress if you're getting um what I asked for which was the pink pointelle um hot shorts and then the tank top i think it'd make a really beautiful like

set together um i oh my god i'm obsessed i purchased one of the dresses that were going viral on tiktok earlier this year it was like 70 best purchase of my life best purchase of my life okay that dress fits me better than anything else in my closet i don't know how she did it i don't know who is behind that witchcraft but i love it and i kind of want to collect more pieces from her line because i'm curious so we'll see i'll let you know if those things actually are worth it as well um on top of that some more clothing i asked for platform converse platform um doc martens i have converse and doc martens but i like the platform version because they make me look fashionable and cute or whatever um but that's about it i don't know i don't i ask for

a lot of things this year i usually don't even ask for anything on christmas and just let my parents surprise me with whatever but i figured i need to come up with a list for you guys as well because some people are like i don't know what the fuck to get also like candles are a good option any incense i'd be happy with hemp's lotion that's a great stocking stuffer i love that brand um weed oh my god you would just hand me weed on christmas and i'd be like oh merry fucking christmas amen i would love that so listen there's many options many things you can ask your parents for you don't have to use mine but that's kind of what i'm looking forward to and if i don't get any of those things i'll probably just buy them on my own because online shopping is calling my

name it really is okay wait more good ideas because it just pops into mind a journal and some pens some any colored pens any kind of journal um i preferred non-lined non-dotted journals but i know some people prefer lined journals for like a more diary situation sometimes the dotted journals like a bullet journal if you want to draw or very analytical and some like good pens that you enjoy i think that's a great idea for christmas um paint paint brushes little easels i think that is incredible if you're a creative person um anything that gets you back in create in like creation mode gets you back in touch with yourself um I'm not sure what that would be for you but I think anything that kind of brings you back inwards towards yourself

helps you create in any sort of manner for me personally it's painting that's why I suggested paintbrushes and easel but anything that kind of connects you back to your roots non-materialistic items for um Christmas things that actually like might better you like a journal or whatever brings you happiness creatively maybe you like cooking maybe you ask for a new knife set you know maybe you ask for a knife sharpener so the knives you do have are really nice or maybe you ask for like a dish set that you would enjoy serving in um anything that's just gonna get you back in touch with yourself is a great thing to ask for for christmas um and usually it's not that expensive so you guys want to know what i'm getting my boyfriend for christmas um if you need like

ideas for men because they're like impossible to shop for because you ask them what they want and they're like oh i don't know because that's what i swear to god every answer from a man if you ask them a straight up question straight up yes or no question every answer is gonna be uh i don't know like boy did i not just ask you fucking a yes or no question what is i don't know anyways love him i love my boyfriend i really do i know he's not gonna listen this too so i can definitely put it out there but if any one of you motherfuckers snitches and tells him what i'm getting him for christmas you will never see a podcast episode ever again i'm dead serious i'm dead serious this is your morning okay this is our little secret here but for him i'm getting him some

probably some new skate decks what did i get him last christmas oh i got him last christmas like a playboy hoodie and a polo beanie it was nothing serious but i'm gonna get him some new skate decks this Christmas and then this is crazy but I'm making a calendar but I am the calendar girl right and it's like a lingerie shoot kind of playboy situation and then I'm also making him so last year I got him a playboy hoodie right so on the back of the it's like beautiful like a sage green playboy hoodie I'm gonna remake the playboy hoodie in a different style and then on the back of the playboy hoodie I got him last year it's just like beautiful illustration of like whatever playmate it was but it's gonna be me instead it's gonna be me as the playmate on the

back instead so that's what i'm doing that's my plan for christmas because i'm way too creative and i like to get the fuck into it and get crazy with it i should probably start working on that now that i think about it that is a lot of work but don't tell him i'm so excited i think it's so fun to like create for people it gets me like more creative actually i'm like i get like more into it i don't overthink it as much as if i was like creating for myself so it'll be fun i think it'll be really fun if you need other gift ideas for your boyfriend um in past years okay so one year for my boyfriend's birthday i painted a skateboard of me nude on it as like a art piece that was a great gift 10 out of 10 um something i thought something i saw on pinterest and was

going to do for his birthday this year but i didn't because i got him shoes um was okay you get a locket just go like buy a vintage gold locket like on um ebay you know whatever or like silver you can get them on you can get them on etsy or another like good um kind of wholesale a little bit cheaper website the quality is still like you know okay is vibe season um vibe but then season is szn they're great um i don't know if i have a code you can try code smoke sash i'm that might get you a percentage off but i literally have no idea anyways buy a little locket whatever shape and then put like a little nude in there i think that would be adorable i don't know if anybody is like that like i just think it you know it's cheeky little moment i think it's so cute

um more ideas like socks stance socks my boyfriend loves socks i don't know men like at this point i like socks too i feel like you get to an age where you're like actually i do want those socks for christmas i would love it actually the best best christmas gift i've ever gotten only christmas gift i've like cried about my sister-in-law got me i'm sure they were like 15 socks online but they're socks that have my cat's face reprinted all over them and it's just so fucking funny because he's the funniest little fucking face this little like chubby cat face but it looks like he has winged eyeliner he's so silly and it made me cry because it's like the funniest socks ever with my cat dangerous face printed all over it like come on how fun you can do like fun little

silly things for your boyfriend it's cheap you know holiday season is hard because everybody's kind of broke because you're buying gifts it doesn't have to be expensive just make it thoughtful you know what i mean so this is a great first question it's pretty vague but i love that um someone asked me how do i get luck on my side and as someone who's gone through a lot of unlucky situations and a lot of lucky situations i think luck more so has to do with like karmic and like you know the energy you put out is the energy you get back okay so like to be lucky you have to think you're lucky to be lucky you have to believe you're lucky you have to believe you're good you have to do good actions you have to be positive you have to and i'm not saying like oh

you can't be sad you can't be i don't that you can be sad i don't give a fuck but like be a good person you know put that positive energy out there whenever you can try and keep a good heart try and keep like be a good person and I think luck will be on your side okay how I told you about the Taylor Swift concert did I tell you about how I met Taylor Swift I think so but that was like a very very lucky situation like what the fuck I'm front row at Taylor Swift how does this happen and i think it's because i just put good vibes out there obviously it's like situational but like put good vibes out there i brought two really good friends who only had positive intentions for me who only had positive intentions for the night who also could have

brought more good luck and i think that's how it happened i think it's karmic for however you behave in this world for however you treat other people if you treat other people people shittily oh my god shittily if you are horrible to other people if you're mean if you're rude if you push other people off if you push yourself off if you're mean to yourself I think like all of that is just gonna return back to you and so it's kind of like living in a state of delusion a little bit like a fake it till you make it kind of situation but I do genuinely in my life even when I'm feeling down even when I maybe don't want to be the nicest person I try with all of my might to keep that composure keep that cool try and make sure that I am being positive uplifting in the

situations that I am in and through my thought processes as well um knowing that I am open to receiving good things I'm open to receiving positive things I'm deserving of positive things I'm deserving of good things okay all of that mindset all of those thinking patterns all that behavior patterns i think goes into luck a lot and of course a lot of shitty people have good luck as well um but i think karma has something in play for them down the road i think the whole key in luck is just being a good person you know having a good heart speaking of luck i actually have a tattoo based on that um so like a majority of my life i've felt this overwhelming sense of like something's um watching me something's watching over me something's protecting

me whether it at one point when I believed in God was God in my mind or um it's like energy or it's the universe or I don't know whatever is watching over me um maybe it's myself but I felt this overwhelming sense that like something's protecting me something's keeping me my spirits up keeping me good luck watching my back so when I am doing these good things like nothing's gonna come and stab me in the back so I got a tattoo not recently it was my first real tattoo it's about the size it's like three inches by three inches about the size of like the palm of your hand it's a circle on the back of my neck and then inside the circle is an eye um my friend actually told me about the placement I wanted to get the eye on my wrist for a while but she was like no you have to get on the

back of your neck because like it's watching out like you know something's watching out for you something's watching your back and I was like oh my god full circle that makes so much sense now I like have to get it um so yeah I got an eye on the back of my neck to represent like something's watching out for me something is really having my back while I make these decisions in life to be a good person and to have hope and you know put good energy out there and knowing that when I do that I will receive that good energy back tenfold because something is keeping me safe and protecting me i got that tattoo when i was like 18 it was totally like oh it was totally like random not like that that sounds bad but like i just walked in there i was like girl i want this tattoo

me and the lines are a little sloppy because of it like a little uneven that's okay i really it's on the back of my fucking neck like i can't take off my head and turn it around to look at my neck like that's just not gonna happen so i don't really care it's just the idea that it's there that means a lot to me but i got it when i was 18 and i got it i was a little drunk and we were going to a concert the greeting committee if you know who the greeting committee is um if you're from kansas city you know you know who the fucking greeting committee is like come on um but i was going to a greeting committee concert and i got the tattoo right before and then i went to the concert and i was just like fucking sweating and like partying with this

brand new raw ass tattoo on the back of my neck and i saw my friend there and i was like oh my god hey girl she was like hey what are you doing i was like uh just got this tattoo and i'm here she was like why are you here that is like this is a dirty place it wasn't like the truman she's like this is a dirty place you should not have a open oozing tattoo here anyways it turned out fine I was fine I was chilling and I think it was like while I was still at Creighton at the time which was in Omaha so I was like driving back and forth I would like leave college drive home on the weekends to see my ex ew and then um drive back to college um like a Sunday night so I think that was like I got there we I got a tattoo um I went to a concert and then I immediately left that night

and just drove straight the fuck back to Omaha I was crazy I don't know how the fuck I had the energy for that because it's a three-hour drive oh anyways okay so this is a fantastic question as I'm getting ready for my day and trying to pick out an outfit but I think it's something a lot of women deal with it's um I'm too nervy to wear the fits I thrift or put together because I hate when people stare what to do valid question valid question I feel like I spent a majority of my younger years especially like high school worried about that um because that's kind of where i did a lot of my clothing experimenting i mean not nearly as much as i do now but like that's when i first kind of stepped into it um i was way more aware of how people were perceiving me

um people looking at me you know and i wasn't really wearing anything crazy it was just maybe like knee-high socks like what but i think it's a very valid issue that women go through a lot like I want to be able to adequately um dress for myself and dress how I feel comfortable and how I like to express myself and I want to be able to go out in public and not feel displaced I feel like the very valid worry um and it does take a little bit of exposure therapy because i mean when you leave that house in that outfit the only issue you really need to be focused on is are you comfortable are you adequately representing yourself and how you feel and it's an outfit reflecting that um and i mean are you happy that's all that matters are you

dressing for yourself are you dressing for your true self your true identity how you truly feel or not you don't need to worry about anything else you don't need to worry about anybody else because I know what it's like when you are in public and you're feeling good and you look over and maybe there's like a few women like talking or like whispering or something like that or you're getting weird stares from like an old lady or somebody's like looking down on you because of something and here's how I kind of combat that because I mean it's uncomfortable when that happens like what the fuck uh i used to just like you know remind myself like i am also a human in this world so i am allowed space i am allowed to take up space i am allowed

to be out here i am allowed to be perceived they are not allowed to be bitches so just don't worry about it if people are gonna talk if people are gonna say anything people are gonna stare people are gonna put negative energy out towards you because of something you're wearing don't worry about it because that's gonna return back to them tenfold okay babes now if you're worried because you feel uncomfortable because of men which is also very valid because um men in public do this weird thing like women in public i'm just like okay whatever they're just catty they're just gonna like you know talk their shit whatever i'm not really worried about it because it's just like an insecure woman who just isn't on board a lot of women usually are fucking on board with what

i'm doing because they're women and they support me but you know i live in the midwest like come on some of them are closed-minded um it's easy to brush off another woman because it's like whatever bitch i don't care about your opinion men are a little different not that i care about a man's opinion but they approach how they view women in public differently and it's very very uncomfortable especially for young women because men have this thing where they will just like sexualize any woman they see in public and it's very odd because like I'm not out there dressed this way for you to sexualize me and it feels like a little invasive it feels a little odd um the looks the stares I get from men and it doesn't feel comfortable um and that's kind of

the issue like in high school early college I was kind of dressing and getting used to the female gaze and how I saw myself within that and how I was perceived through that and I realized I just didn't care and I was just focused on myself and then I started just realizing like the male gaze like I really didn't realize men looking at me and I've come to the conclusion that men are going to be fucking weird and creepy either way either whether you are out there in public or not because they are men okay they're gonna be weird they're gonna be fucking creepy because they're men it's not because of you it's not because you're out there dressed a certain way it's because they're men so wear whatever the fuck you want quite honestly okay tell off those

men if you have to i personally don't really tell off a lot of men because i'm scared of my safety like if you have the balls please do but also i'm like a very small woman who has nothing to protect herself so i don't really like verbally assault men because i don't want to die because it's a very valid concern of women nowadays um but baby dress however you want don't worry about the other people don't worry about how they're viewing you because then you're gonna start viewing them through their eyes and that's not the goal of this okay the goal is that you are out there expressing yourself openly and comfortably and you are adequately dressing for your true self in a way that you enjoy okay you don't need to dress for how other people want to see you

dress you don't need to dress to make other people comfortable you don't need to dress to protect yourself i think i used to want to like cover up and hide myself because men made me uncomfortable and then i realized like they're winning in a sense and i need to just keep doing me and they're gonna be fucking weirdos so i'm just gonna do whatever the fuck i want and i'll tell them off if i need to but i really am begging you please go wear those fits because i know they're fucking good and i know you guys have some fucking style and i know you guys are putting together some killer fits right now i need you to go wear them in public so if i run into you i can see them anyways also i want to preface that not everybody out there is going to be weird and

creepy and talk about you or not every man is going to sexualize you okay i guarantee it's probably a minority of the people but like of course those are the experiences that stand out most because they're uncomfortable and you know you know get me a little it's a little weird you know what i mean but i guarantee most of the time when you go out there dressed and feeling good about yourself and wearing something that you enjoy peep that's going to reflect onto people okay and people are going to like approach you and compliment you and want to know you and want to get to know you you know what i mean a lot of the times it is a majority positive experience even me living in the midwest when i first started like dressing for myself and dressing in things

that maybe like weren't popular at the time but i enjoyed like oh i'm 10 times the amount of compliments i would get on a normal day when i'm just wearing like jeans and a t-shirt you know what i mean it's because i'm expressing myself and differently than other people do and people who are authentic and are comfortable in themselves will notice that and they probably will say something or you know they'll support you from a distance either way i don't want like my little scary story to deter you but i understand like being worried about other people's viewpoints um but just know a majority of it will be positive so don't worry did you guys see that tiktok video where i was like um i think girls deserve a little revenge as a treat i also said

this in the last podcast but some girl hit my dms and was like okay girl but like wait fuck i have to read the actual text because it's so funny um but they were like how do i get revenge on someone who has blocked you on everything even your number a felt i feel that but her user is like then i don't want to call it her name but it's like a little too crazy it's something like it's like something based off that and it's like babe you might be a little too crazy just a little bit because like what i mean by revenge i love the energy here love it but what i mean by revenge is just like focus on yourself glow up do your own thing if you focus on yourself you're gonna succeed no matter what and the best revenge is simply success okay because i know for a

fucking fact that man was not bringing you any sort of success okay i know he was dragging you down to the pits of hell and you cannot reside in the pits of hell with that man anymore so when i say revenge i mean throw a dead fish in his car and let it rot or you know succeed i'm joking please don't do that um but like girl if a man has blocked you on everything he simply does not want you when you're in his life no offense no offense but maybe that is a sign from the universe that maybe he's a shitty man and you don't need him okay no matter how good you think that man is move on i guarantee you'll find someone better but that was so fucking funny that sent me how do i move on from somebody who's blocked you on everything felt women are crazy we are we will go

the ends of the earth but honestly like props to us we have so much drive and power it's i i like it i like the energy so we're gonna talk weed we're gonna talk weed i have been so incredibly nauseous lately all the fucking time constantly so nauseous one day i was so nauseous that i threw up multiple times and could not eat anything i was like what the fuck's going on here am i pregnant it because like as a woman that is my uh every symptom i have oh my god is there a baby inside me because that's like my worst fucking fear okay like i do not need a child right now i don't need a child right now we'll give it until i'm past 30 but if i can even produce a child at that point but oh my god so nauseous all the time lethargic confused like what's going on

and i think it's from the weed i don't think i'm pretty sure i know because i know weed is tied to like your digestive system somehow i know for a fact it makes your metabolism or at least for me makes my metabolism speed up so like at night the issue is i'll take like four or five dabs at night and go to bed and then eight hours later i wake up and i'm so nauseous because i'm so starving because i don't know maybe i just need to eat more i need like way more calories i guess which is like perfectly fine but with my adhd and um just in general my nausea from smoking it's hard for me to eat a lot so someone asked me advice on making a tea break easier and getting a normal appetite back and i think it's very valid question because for a while i was kind of using

weed as like a supplemental um I'll talk about eating disorders later trigger warning um I was using it as a supplemental way to bring back my appetite um get me high so I get excited for eating so then I eat a lot you know what I mean don't feel guilty about it food tastes better because I was suffering from an eating disorder on multiple occasions for quite a while um and it worked it was great it was fantastic but the issue came to where i'm just like smoking all the time and um those hunger cues are constantly going and i just like obviously probably need to eat more food to combat the um you know how fast my metabolism is moving but it's hard to eat when you feel fucking nauseous all the time i'm sure like adhd users or not users but like people

who use medication for adhd feel the same way because i know that like adderall and stuff like that will make you nauseous and not want to eat um so it's like really like forcing you to eat but something that i've found and i need to go buy more of are these ginger chews um i think they're called gin gin ginger chews let me look it up just so i can get the right thing for you yeah ginger and ginger chews they have like this little ginger guy like eating some ginger i think they're chewy they're like 250 you can get them at walmart or like um i see them on here at like target or world market anything like that amazon i need to buy more because i only had a few um oh incredible for making nausea go away ginger in general is a great supplement for that okay ginger tea ginger

anything you can eat ginger on the side raw if you like it it's a okay great excuse to go get sushi okay eat some ginger with that um and the ginger chews are great for nausea too because it's like a little candy that you can suck on chew on um great for nausea i do need to go get more of those also just like taking a tea break would probably help um when it comes to tea breaks people are always looking for like what is the secret what do i do how do i make it through this and not have it be hell um quite honestly the only piece of advice i can quite like give you is you just have to stay busy you have to stay busy you have to you to be on go mode until you hit your bed and fall asleep you need to be constantly doing something because then you

just like won't think about it you'll realize at the end of the day oh my god i haven't smoked at all um you probably won't be irritable because you haven't realized you smoked you'll just hit your bed and fall asleep it's also the best way to kind of um break out of like a depression um that's like that's my similar go-to move is I would just keep myself busy all day stay out of my room stay away from my bongs stay away from any weed keep going maybe pick up an extra few shifts at work maybe work a double so then I have no time to think about it so when I get home and I'm exhausted from the day I can just pass out and go to sleep all right that's the best way to do it to be fair I have taken my tea breaks are always so fucking weird because I never do

like oh I'm just gonna take a week off and then go back or oh I'm gonna take a month off and then go back it's always like hold on sorry to burp I didn't want to burp in camera because that seems rude but my tea breaks were either like oh I just got sick um so I I mean I don't I don't really smoke when I get sick because it just makes me feel worse like I'm already in fucking pain I don't need my lungs to also be on fire my throat to burn and like the high isn't even probably gonna be that great so like what the fuck's not worth it I'm just gonna fucking go to sleep you know what I mean if I get sick I won't smoke um but I don't really get sick that often and if I do get sick it's only for a few days so it's not really gonna make a huge difference um

but the times that i have taken tea breaks they've been for like at least a year like a long time like a full reset kind of situation and it's because i i take accidental tea breaks because i get myself in situations usually with edibles we'll just get way too fucking high way too high uncomfortably high high to the point where i'm like i don't want to feel this way again i need to call my mom like you know you know that kind of high and then i'm like well i'm done i don't know how why my brain works like that it's like an all or nothing kind of situation and once i have that bad experience and i'm like i don't ever want to feel that way again and i'm like i greened out and i'm a little traumatized i just

like my body will just be like okay brush my hands off i'm done we're gonna take a year off and i just like won't have any inclination or feeling to smoke until i am ready to smoke again and those are kind of the best i'm sure i might be hitting one of those soon um i do really need to get my appetite back back on track and my nausea back on track and figure that shit out or else i might need to take a longer break because it sucks i hate being nauseous all the time like what the fuck it's the worst but gin gin those things are amazing if you have constant nausea 10 out of 10 recommend if you need a little tea break just stay busy and drink a ton of water hydrate hydrate hydrate um because it's usually tea breaks the goal is to make your tolerance go down the more

water you drink um that'll help with that it'll just kind of flush out some some terpenes i don't know i'm not a fucking scientist i wish i was i wish i had the answers for you but honestly like not not a lot of research has gone into marijuana use so at this point i'm the fucking test subject like god damn um yeah just stay busy stay busy eat some ginger and you'll you'll make it i promise i feel like it's a sin at this point in my podcast to not at least take like one rip you know on microphone so if you're joining me you know i know my podcast is called smoke sash but you don't have to smoke to join us you know i just want everybody here to be on the path or want to be on the path of you know bettering ourselves but if you are here

to smoke and you know chill and hang out let's take this hit together and let's get on with the rest of the podcast speaking of nauseous you guys ever go through that phase where you're like i have like one comfort food and you eat it for like two meals a day like every day of the week because it's like your favorite thing to eat mine right now is breakfast burritos oh i love me a good breakfast burrito previously it was uh like a potato and egg bowl i just like fry up some potatoes and some eggs and some spinach and put hot sauce on it fantastic 10 out of 10 now take that add some like whatever if you like meat you could throw that in some mozzarella and put it in tortilla oh babe that shit is so yummy every time i have one and i'm like making a video people are

always like what the fuck are you holding looks so good breakfast burritos love them i just like make a bunch wrap them up throw them in the fridge then you can eat them whenever you want so then you like don't have to cook when you're hungry because sometimes like sometimes like my hunger cues are a little off and i'll be like oh i'm a little hungry and then five minutes later i'm like oh i'm starving and i'm gonna pass out if i stand up uh i don't have the energy to cook so breakfast burritos are always a vibe but then throw some guac on that bitch throw some taco bell hot sauce i don't know it's great tell me your favorite um i want to know your favorite comfort food though because i want to try them because why not i need to shake up my routine i

need to add some more variety into it so let me know let me know someone asked me to talk about my coke experience not like diet coke like uh although i am addicted to cherry vanilla coke that is the only type of coke i am addicted to in my life cherry vanilla coke that shit oh oh it's so good especially out of those like fancy ass soda machines where they have every single flavor in existence oh my god my boyfriend got me hooked on that he's the devil for that because i crave them every second of the day but coke let's talk coke coke isn't my wasn't my drug of choice if someone was i'm sober right now well not sober like obviously i smoke and shit but like if someone came up to me and offered me coke i'd probably be like no i'm okay i'm all right my

drug of choice is molly because coke essentially so i have adhd untreated undiagnosed um i very much so know i have adhd because my dad and my grandma have severe adhd and my brother has severe adhd my parents just never took the time to go have me adequately evaluated and diagnosed and gave me medicine um I don't know why obviously that impaired me as a child but um coke is essentially what I would explain as you have you had too much caffeine and now you're overstimulated that's kind of what it feels like and I think I have that experience um I don't really have any euphoria or any like anything like molly does with coke it's just kind of like oh my heart's racing a little bit and i'm feeling like a little like jittered and i need to go and i don't need

to feel that because i already constantly feel that 24 fucking 7 just inside of my brain because the chemicals are unbalanced and i have adhd okay so like coke i'm just not interested in now when I was on molly and I was at raves at fucking bars anywhere and you know I'm in the bathroom and a bitch offers me a bump like of course I'm gonna be like yes girl not now but like then I was like yes girl I'll take a bump but here's the thing every time I took a bump I wouldn't feel anything it made no difference just just none if I was already on molly I would take a bump but it was nothing like I feel like it just doesn't have a great effect on you the effects are not even worth what the effects are for I feel like people take or do coke because it's a designer drug people do

coke because they want to be seen doing coke people do coke and then like obviously it falls into this pattern of like addiction because it's a fucking hard drug and you're gonna get addicted to it of course but like people I feel like do coke because they want to look cool and they want to be like the cool white person babe put the coke down put it down you don't need to do it okay I guarantee you're just gonna fall into a slippery slope of a very very addicting drug that you simply just don't need to be taking because the effects are just not worth it you know there's other drugs you could be doing also half of that shit is fucking laced or cut what half of that white powder is baby powder you don't know what's in there you don't need it okay don't do coke

ladies and gentlemen one time i did coke before okay so one time i like went to a rave and then after the rave i was driving some people to the next bar and there was like i think it's two guys in the back seat they were i was driving the next bar maybe a guy and a girl i don't fucking know they're doing coke oh i do remember oh i have a story for you okay so when me and my ex broke up we broke up that night because i had bought him tickets for valentine's day or not valentine's day maybe his birthday i don't fucking know we bought him tickets to go see the show that he enjoyed and um you know i'm getting ready for the show he starts being a fucking dickhead per usual um I'm just not having it and I'm like I'm getting

ready to go to the show you're being an asshole are you going with me or not and he said no I don't feel like going anymore because the vibes are off the energy's off like I'm just done and so I took that as okay fuck you we're done we're done we're done right so I put on my hot outfit but keep in mind i was already on molly i had already eaten the molly because you eat it like 30 minutes before you go to the concert so you can like time your when you're tripping you know whatever um so he essentially i remember calling my friends crying sobbing oh my god we just broke up he left me alone at this concert on molly i don't know what to do and my friends were like go have a fucking blast go have a good time period as i showed so i showed up to his

favorite artist set had the best time ever anyways um my friend who my really good friend i was like oh my god are you going to this edm show because you know a lot of the edm people go to the same shows she's like no but my my really good friends are so i will tell them to look out for you hopefully hopefully you can find them but just like go have fun go do your thing if you run into them you run into them which is like great perfect i go have fun in the pit i'm dancing i leave to go back to kochak and i go i'm getting in kochak and this this guy walks up to me and goes are you hannah and i was like yeah who's asking they're like oh my god i'm friends with blah blah i was like oh perfect so it's this guy and his friend um and this girl they all are like

well what are you doing now and i'm like well i want to go to a bar like club you know the after party they're like okay great me too so we i'm like okay i have my car here pile into my car we'll go there they pile in my car we're driving there they're doing tons of coke tons of coke my backseat which is fine everybody has their choice of drug i don't really care we get there we party whatever the night ends next day i have to go serve right these people had spilt so much fucking coke in my backseat it looks like it had snowed back there like there were drifts piles of coke i could scoop all that shit up and have like i could sell like 200 with a coke they spilled so much back there i'm like well you know i'm pretty sure like servers and line cooks do a lot of coke

like i'm pretty sure they do a lot of coke because i was serving at the time this isn't recently this was back in the day um but i was like i feel like you know i feel like it was a thing you know restaurant workers do coke so they can keep up with people and whatever so i was like okay i'm to take a little bump right i scoop up a little bump okay keep in mind this car is pristine condition clean brand new because i had totaled my other car smashing it into the back of a police car so this car was clean like i wasn't about to scoop up some dirt and some coke and sniff it it was very much so like detailed clean now i'm gonna scoop coke off the floor so i scoop a little you on a little nail take a little bump a little head rush go inside worst time ever worst time ever I

thought it would make me better I thought I'd be on top of shit I'd be ready to go surf uh-uh I was so anxious I was so overwhelmed I was like this doesn't feel good I don't like this feeling like I just feel like my ADHD is at an all-time high right now I can't focus like I'm anxious like it was just not good so in general don't recommend coke but also like i don't recommend really any drugs quite honestly if you're gonna do anything just stick to the natural it's the safest if it comes out of the ground it's it's the safest okay you don't need to do coke i promise i love you please don't do coke i think this is a great question um someone asked me tips for when you feel like you're losing your identity deep question i know but homegirl is struggling also

Ellie love you too thank you for listening thank you for setting in your question very valid um and I mean like valid I feel like um a lot of people go through this but I feel like so looking back like I've had many different times where I feel lost I feel like I'm not connected to myself I don't feel I feel like I'm losing my identity like you said and I feel like in those moments looking back obviously at the time I didn't know those moments I felt so confused with who I was because they were transitionary periods um like throughout my life throughout your life I'm sure you are and have been many different people many different people like 16 year old Hannah is not 18 year old Hannah 18 year old Hannah is not 20 year old Hannah

20 year old Hannah is not 22 year old Hannah I very much so change and grow and get new perspectives on things and learn new things and learn more about myself as we should as we're humans as we're um going through life I mean life is all about you know making mistakes learning new things and trying to grow and become the best version of yourself that you in your eyes possibly see. And I feel like I, my identity and my confidence in my identity gets a little muddied and I get a little bit more confused when I'm like transitioning from maybe one stage in life or personality to another. So to kind of like avoid those feelings of maybe inadequacy or confusion or unsettledness that kind of happens with that I think it's just a really good

opportunity to remind yourself like hey maybe I'm just growing I'm changing um and that's okay and I need to give myself space and room to discover who I want to be and what I need to grow into and like how I want to be as a person so I don't think it's you're losing your identity or you've lost it i think it's you're developing it you're becoming a new person you're growing you're changing and that's incredible that's awesome you should spend time getting to know yourself getting to know what you like getting to know what you don't like at this present time it right now because it's going to be vastly different from what you enjoyed four years ago you know what i mean you can't live your life living as if you're the same person you were

four years ago because you're gonna be what I would be 18 year old Hannah for the rest of my life and that would be miserable like I want to grow I want to change but you have to help yourself do that you know so you're in your cocoon stage you enter your cocoon stage and exit it a lot you're gonna it's gonna happen a lot and I feel like just taking the time to be like okay I'm in my cocoon stage i just need to nurture myself support myself take this as an opportunity to um like you don't need to fly away yet you don't need to break the cocoon don't rush it just take the moment to rest relax get to know yourself get to plan a little bit do some journaling do some deep diving um and if that if deep diving isn't good for you or positive to you then like don't

do it but just like take the time to not put that much pressure on yourself because I guarantee in time you'll figure it out you'll develop you'll blossom into a beautiful butterfly it's kind of a cheesy euphemism but I mean it's true we go through transitionary periods a lot it feels confusing because we feel like we've lost ourself in a sense but in reality we should be celebrating who we were and the achievements we did and how incredible we are because we do need to celebrate those things and also we need to take an account that we grow and we change and we should grow and we change and be aware of what kind of growth and changes we maybe want to make for our new self the world is incredible life is incredible being able to live on this planet is

incredible because we get so many opportunities to better ourselves and change and do new things and have new experiences and you just kind of have to recognize that and take advantage of it life can get overwhelming when you're too focused on the small things when you're too focused on the little things focus on the big things focus on yourself focus on how you're feeling about yourself are they positive feelings are they negative feelings work through those you know life doesn't have to be heavy and confusing sometimes sometimes you can just take it one step at a time sometimes you can have those little cocoon moments where you're just like i just want to rest and relax and take time to transition slowly and get to know myself and my new self

because your new self is going to be so much incredible so much more better so much more loving so much more caring than your old self I guarantee hopefully you're using life that the same way that I am just taking time to you know hopefully level up become better than just like becoming same and I feel like a lot of people get confused when they get older or get uneasy or nervous because they're not that 18 year old self that they were um and that's scary because I don't know your 18 year old self or whatever self you're looking back on is like it's a comfort person you know it is you it's gonna be comforting but you are very much so also in charge of how you develop into a person and how you perceive the world so just taking accountability taking the time to rest

relax and nurture yourself so you have the time and the positivity to grow into a incredible person you're not losing yourself you don't have an identity crisis you just need a moment it's okay i promise you'll get back into it just try and reconnect to yourself try and do things that younger you would have enjoyed doing or things you never tried before things you maybe want to start trying just uh cook yourself a new meal uh try a new face mask try a new bubble bath um maybe you're not one for working out but you've been interested in um going for daily walks like little things like that I don't know it's totally up to you and what works best for you and it does take a little bit of trial and error but I don't know you'll get there I love you

anyways unfortunately I probably won't put out a Thursday podcast this week apologies I know I literally just started doing that last week it's because Thanksgiving is this week and I have family in town and I just started a new job so things are a little hectic this week but expect two podcasts next week absolutely um so apologies if you were looking forward to another one I'm so sorry you guys are really showing up for the second one though like thank you thank you I was worried that i was i was gonna put out two podcasts a week and maybe be like too much content i don't know um but you guys are showing up and listening to every single one and sometimes twice people have been messaging me like girl i listened to all your podcasts in one day how do you have the

time to do that like thank you i'm so sorry i didn't mean to come off as rude but like oh my god thank you i can't believe you binged it that fast but that's incredible props to you that's insane um but so many of you guys are showing up every two times a week crazy that blows my mind um and thank you for doing that thank you for proving to me that like okay my hard work will pay off so I will continue I will continue the two episodes a week um next week just this week's a little hectic for me I hope you're all doing okay I hope you're all doing wonderful we're gonna crush this week I know let's talk Thanksgiving a little bit like I know being around family can be overwhelming um especially if it's family you maybe don't like and are required to be around for

the holidays um i completely understand i totally get that listen just fucking drink smoke eat some fucking mashed potatoes and power through you'll make it through i promise um i'm making i already told did i tell you guys what i'm making i'm making mac and cheese and green bean casserole and all i know for a fact is i'm gonna show up to that thanksgiving high as fucking balls chug some mimosas eat some mac and cheese avoid my problematic family well half of it's problematic half of it's not so avoid them hopefully and have a good time that's all that matters sometimes in life you're forced to be around people who maybe don't have the same views as you maybe don't um align with your thoughts and i'm not saying um the white girl thing where it's like well

sometimes people can you know still be friends and have different opinions like yes of course that's true but when it comes to human rights that's just like not true um so but i understand like i'm young i'm not really in control of like the thanksgiving invites i'm sure once i am it's gonna be a little different but and i'm sure you aren't either i'm sure you just have to like show up to thanksgiving and power through but stay safe i hope you're with good family and if you're not with good family fucking just avoid them like the plague per use and try and drink to power through what is the holidays for what are what else are the holidays for but to drink and power through which is kind of great and eat good food until you pass out i saw a tiktok and it was like

um me just bringing up tiktoks for content um it was like me seeing all the people who went to high school at the third the the night before thanksgiving at the bars that is my nightmare that is my nightmare what you guys are going out to your hometown bars to go hang and party with your high school people oh my god when i see somebody i know from high school in like walmart no offense if you guys ever come up to me like i i'm not talking about like you guys you guys come up to me all the time and are so nice like i appreciate it but like you know when you see people that you just like know but like don't really know for high school and it's like awkward and you're like i don't know what to do here it's like weird situation uh but like stuff like that

i could not imagine going to a bar to go drink with people from my high school oh my god that is my nightmare that is my nightmare situation like anybody that i knew in my past lives at a bar the nightmare the night before christ not christmas thanksgiving where then i have to go hang out with problematic family members no i'll pass i will be sitting in my room getting high as balls of my boyfriend's weed and drinking alone and decorating for christmas i think that's how i'm gonna do it i love decorating it's so fun so i think that's how i'm gonna celebrate my holidays i hope you guys are celebrating well um if you're not celebrating at least go buy like a rotisserie chicken and eat the whole thing in your bed like that's that is a great way to celebrate not that

we should be celebrating thanksgiving it's a problematic holiday in general but that's that's something else we need to get into I'm running out of time though so I really appreciate you guys showing up I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving um I hope you all power through like I am I hope you all have a great time eat some good ass bomb ass food you know you got to show up extra high to make sure the food's extra yummy um and I love you I will see you guys next Tuesday apologize for missing the Thursday podcast but I we're gonna take a little holiday break. I love you all. Thank you for showing up.