Smoke Sesh - How to be happy! Experiencing childlike wonder! I love you!

Episode Date: January 4, 2023

Happy first episode of the new year! Sorry I was MIA yesterday I got a new IUD and I fill you all in on how that was plus being black out drunk on NYE and the funny stories that came from it. We talk about planning for the future and how to actually stick to your goals and make them a reality, creating a thesis and planning by season, curating childlike wonder and how we have to find a balance between the inner adult and inner child, codependency and uplifting each other in a relationship, how to bring adventure into your life as well as navigating mercury retrograde and practicing patience, allowing yourself to be emotional, allowing yourself to love even if you’re on a short time frame, how to be happy and how to stop chasing it, finding inspiration and motivation, and much much muchhhhh more. This was a fun first episode and I hope I was able to inspire and motivate you guys as we start on this new year journey

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning, cuties. oh my gosh happy fucking new year how was it did you guys have a blast did you have a great time ringing in the 2023 new year whether you spent it in bed chilling doing absolutely nothing felt

love that such a vibe um or you got blackout fucking drunk and had a crazy wild night like me Either way, there's no correct way to ring in the New Year's. I've done both on multiple occasions. It is all about just really embodying what you feel like you need to do. Sometimes that's just lay in bed and sometimes that's lose all brain cells and go blackout. But I'll update you guys on my New Year's Eve festivities in a moment. Just so you know, I have no heat right now. So apologies if you hear my little cute heater working overtime in the background.

I gotta have it on. I got to have it on. I just got my IUD yesterday. I'm like a little over 24 hours with it. So the cramps are kind of insane. And I need my room to be like 85 degrees in order to combat the cramps. So just apologies if you can hear a weird like a whirring in the background. it is my heater keeping me warm and toasty and in the right mindset but with that being said

oh my god new year's eve new year's eve oh my god so new year's eve i did upload like a little new year's eve get ready with me slash vlog on my patreon if you're interested it's my patreon's under hannah marlene i think uh but i'm gonna give you a quick update here you can see photos on my Instagram of like what I did where I was it was so fun so last year um I can't even tell you what the fuck I did last year for New Year's Eve I was very much so in my hibernation phase my I don't want to do anything I don't know who I am I'm just gonna lay in bed and maybe get a bottle of champagne maybe and just like go to bed early which at the time was just what I needed and fantastic and wonderful and I'm very glad I took the opportunity to do that for myself there are

millions of new year's eves to come oh actually not millions for me there's like 80 more to come so like you can spare one new year's eve like come on don't let the pressure get to you and I'm glad I did that last year because this year I was like I need to go out I want to do something fun I was going to get a table at a club and like have friends over but um a bunch of my friends are out of town and also I wasn't about to drop like $800 on a table because that seemed fucking crazy so I was like whatever let's go to this cabaret show I was seeing like little ads about it and people going to it and it looked really fun and I was like you know what fuck it let's buy tickets let's go let's see what's up now my main issue here was I was just really busy the day of New

Eve and I forgot to eat a whole bunch which is like rule number one of what not to do if you're going out drinking is like you need to eat food you need to have sustenance in your body because you're probably going to drink a lot and you would rather have like if you're gonna drink all night like you should be able to put up with seven drinks not three me personally don't recommend but like if I eat a good amount of food I can have like seven eight nine ten drinks and be good and get myself home if i don't eat anything and i have like maybe three drinks i'm like oh blackout done but we went to this cabaret show and it was amazing it was giving like dominatrix sex club party vibes all the people who were there were like in glitter wearing crazy outfits i was like

yes love this energy love the vibes right now this is incredible there was like only red lights everywhere the bathroom was red lights it was beautiful the decorations were amazing and so we got there we had some drinks um i had had a bottle of soju prior so i we got some drinks hung out for a little bit and then we went up and we got in our seats and they put on this huge magical performance they were like pulling girls into the air they were like playing cellos they had an opera singer they were like spinning fire it was crazy professional level shit and this stage like this like arena area had maybe a hundred seats so it was super just like intimate and beautiful and the opera singer was walking around like asking everybody their kinks it was hilarious

um now i was doing good but by the end of the show i had had another drink so by then i was on three drinks plus a bottle of soju and they had a performance to lana del rey my ass was screaming along oh my god i was having a grand old fucking time just singing my heart out to lana del rey fantastic show ends whatever it's 11 o'clock we have a hour before new year's and they were like, you know, you guys can just go to the bar, have some drinks, don't leave, we're gonna turn the stage into a dance floor, we're gonna have a DJ, you guys come out, you know, party it up, so I'm like, okay, sounds great, me and my boyfriend go have a few more drinks, take some pictures, by now, I'm, like, gone, like, I don't think I blacked out, blacked out,

but I was sure, like, teeter-tottering on my little heels, which also, I was having a hard of time walking in my heels because my dumb ass didn't take the paper the like plastic protector paper off the bottom of them so they were just super slippery and we were on the dance floor trying to dance I was trying to throw ass and I like leaned down and I almost ate shit because my heels were so slippery they had no no grip I was like oh my god I was dancing I was like I'm so fucked up right now we rang in the new year's I barely remember the new year's they had free champagne they had bubble guns they were apparently someone was spraying whipped cream in my mouth um yeah and then um i was like i gotta go they're not playing lana del rey i gotta go

we gotta go so me and my boyfriend left after new year's probably like 12 31 um i was fucked up at this point we were just sitting in the car smoking a joint i was like play Lana Del Rey for me and I know this man loves me because he has put up with me in so many situations where I am just like black out fucking drunk like a hot mess a hot mess and when you hit that level of like hot messness it's like people are either like they get the vibe and they love it and they're like yeah fun party girl absolutely or they're like annoyed um and my boyfriend god love him he is always just like yeah i love this i love this energy right here like he loves seeing me just like not inebriated but just like living my best life uninhibited

a little fucked up total party girl vibes so we were sitting in his car smoking a joint and i was like play lana del rey for me and he put this way i know this man loves me because he goes I don't know any Lana Del Rey and then proceeded to play the unreleased song by Lana Del Rey and A$AP Rocky right in I was like okay come on you don't know Lana Del Rey but you pull up an unreleased song so I can sing along so we can sing together fantastic I love it absolutely he got me home safely he did he never drinks as much as I do he will have like a few drinks and be good he knows how to control himself me on the other hand I'm like fuck it I'll have nine vodka sodas absolutely and then I like bought shots too and we had free champagne

it was just a lot I ended up he pulled up next to my apartment and I got out of the car and just immediately ate shit just fell over and it was hilarious because I was like I can't get up I can't like in these heels I have like scars on my feet from these heels he helps me up I fall over again just very fun a hot mess of a time we get upstairs I'm like running through my hallways like giggling laughing and then I woke up the next morning with like sticks in my hair full makeup on sticks and leaves in my hair from falling on the ground because there's like these little gumballs that fall off the tree that are like circular seed pods i don't know you can't fucking step on those

and stay upright in heels especially after like eight drinks so definitely ate shit a few times outside there were like people in their car watching us very funny um and yeah just pass the fuck out spent my new year's day we went and got crepes in the morning i had some oj to combat the hangover we sat outside in the sun for a little bit and then just relaxed all day so it was a pretty eventful new year's eve and a very relaxing new year's day and then you know what i'm kicking off the new year fucking strong i got an iud yesterday which was like the third i had been putting it off for a while i missed a few appointments uh i just my first one was so so so so so bad um that I was a little traumatized can't lie this was like

four years ago when I got my last one and let me tell you this everything about my IUD I have absolutely loved it's been a fantastic amazing option and has not made me crazy I can just forget about it I can have crazy wild sex and not be afraid of having a baby because I'm like extra extra protected the one bad thing about the first time I got it was the insertion process and I think it was a bad insertion process because if I'm being completely honest I think this is the first time this doctor had ever given anybody an IUD so I was just like a trial run for her it took like 15 minutes when it maybe should take well it should take 45 seconds because that's how long it took yesterday, my new doctor was fantastic, amazing, incredible, she knew I was

uncomfortable, she knew I was not having it, like, I got in there, and before even the insertion process, like, we were just chit-chatting, I was, like, crying, just because I was just so fucking nervous, and she looked over my boyfriend, my boyfriend was, like, sitting next to me, she goes, you already need to stand up and hold her hand, I was, like, love her, love her to infinity oh my god like yes tell that man what to do love the energy he wasn't really doing anything wrong we were just talking like it wasn't during the process but I love that she was like get up so she oh my god she knew I was uncomfortable she knew I wasn't having it um she even like a resident male doctor with her and she was like hey can he come in and watch and like would you

be okay if he used this as a learning experience and I was just like no no I'm not I'm good and she took that answer ran with it was like absolutely I'm not even gonna bring it up heard her and the nurse were in and out of my vagina in 45 seconds 45 seconds last time they were in there for like 15 minutes it's like you know when NASCAR like drivers they like pop a tire and they got to pull over and they have that whole team that come and fix it in like like seconds you can't even see how fast they're doing it that's what they did inside of me it was amazing I was literally like thanking them at the end of it because they did such a fantastic fucking job placing this IUD so all I have to say is if you're scared like I get it I know it's

gonna be painful it is gonna be painful all I did was take an Aleve I took a thousand milligrams ibuprofen before i ate a cbd gummy shout out past packs that really helped um and then i found these like heating patches online and i wore a heating patch like right above or like right under my belly button to my appointment and i think that really helped as well whether it was a placebo or just like it gave me extra comfort that was amazing i kept my socks on during the procedure because I was like I'm naked from the waist down I'm keeping my socks on so I can just stay a little bit warm a little bit comfortable um and also she offered me localized numbing like a shot I was like no I'm already having something go into my uterus I don't also need a shot that

sounds horrible awful but she did offer me a numbing spray and the numbing spray really helped because you couldn't feel like the clamp that they use to like hold your cervix in place. So shout out to her for giving me all the options. I really, really recommend that if you are planning on getting an IUD, seek out a doctor who advocates for you and advocates for women. She was fantastic. You could tell that she really cared about women and really wanted to make sure that they were comfortable and that these procedures went according to plan. She was like, like her and the nurse who were in the room she was like oh yeah the nurse standing next to her she's like oh she placed my iud for me in this chair that you're sitting in i was like okay

y'all get you guys understand you get it you are doing this on each other i trust you guys i hear you she was very open and honest with me about everything that was going to happen fantastic 10 out of 10 find a great women's doctor it took a little bit of like trial and error for me to find one that I really liked um but having a doctor that you can trust in and really like believe in makes all of the difference makes you so much more comfortable so shout out to her love her cramps are pretty bad afterwards um but you know manageable with some heating pads some lots of weed weed is really what helped me the most um and yeah now I am waking up the next day new iud i'm baby free for eight years eight years eight years that's insane i'm gonna be like

over 30 30 something that is wild so cheers cheers to being baby free cheers to uh balling up and being a woman and doing what you gotta do i knew it was gonna hurt but she really helped by making it hurt a little less by making it go quickly and really giving me all the options that I needed so by tomorrow I will be 10 out of 10 good to go I just know the cramps will last for a couple days that's what they did last time so yeah very exciting things love it so anyways really just starting off the new year strong and focused on me and really just trying to get shit done this year as we can tell step number one no children no babies for Hannah absolutely none I could not mentally or physically deal with that right now number two I thought we

could go over a little way I was looking through some questions a little early yesterday and I also was writing down in my little wall calendar for the year just planning some shit out and I made a patreon post about how I plan so I thought I would bring this up on here it's a great way to talk about like how to stick with your goals and realistically accomplish them because if you're like me and you're like oh I want to do this but it's just an idea just a thought it seems to float away very quickly or I happen to push it away by being like well yeah but that just seems so distant or I don't know how to start or I don't know where to begin or but what if I don't stick with it you just like happen to push it away or it floats away naturally and I think that's just

a part of having ADHD so this is where I like to talk about theses I've talked about this before and I've said this before you have to have a thesis that you're currently working on in your day to day life. Do you know what I mean? Once you're out of school, which I've been out of school for a while, when you're in school, it's really easy to have theses or ideas because you're working in semesters naturally, you have shit already pre lined up pre planned for you, which is amazing and wonderful. But once you get out of college, or you are a little bit distanced away from school, you lose all that which you lose all routine, and your body naturally craves routine routine's good routine keeps you on track routine keeps you motivated so before we jump into how we

plan by what dates by what semesters or whatever first of all you're going to need a place to plan if you are like me you get very distracted very easily I really do not recommend using a planner on your phone. I personally recommend having a physical area or space to write these things down. Having a physical planner in college did me wonders, absolute wonders, because it would force me to habitually check, cross out, write down important dates, important things. It allowed me to plan by week by month by year um and I was unable to get distracted because I would be looking in my planner and guess what a text wouldn't pop up because my phone would be sitting next to me flipped over oh there's no music playing and it's not it's trying to change I

don't know like you can't get distracted in a planner because it's set up perfectly there's no distractions available so for me I loved an academic planner when I was in college but now I use those like cheesy wall calendars you know the cheesy wall calendars like cats every month or kittens or good food or butterflies or little puppy dogs mine this year is waterfalls it's super queue it was like two dollars okay you get every month you know a new thing a new picture new waterfall and then I have been using that to map out and plan my week my days um but on my big calendar I just put I put important dates important events when I work stuff like that so it's good for just planning day-to-day lives, but I also use it to plan my thesis. So I work not in semesters

because I'm out of college. I work in seasons. If you are in college, in school, I really recommend sticking to what you already have figured out school-wise so then you're not working contrast to something else. Just use your semesters. Use those quarters. And then I would use probably like every Friday as a check-in day and then at the end of the month as a check-in day as well to set goals for me I work in seasons so uh we just had the winter solstice so we just entered the winter season and the um the spring equinox is in is like March 20th so between those dates I will have an overarching theme or thesis of what I want to accomplish I use every full moon which is once a month so we have about three full moons in this season to set goals to achieve

the overarching thesis of what I want this season to be you see where I'm getting at and then like every week I use basically every Sunday Sunday is like a perfect check-in day for me personally to really focus, see if I'm accomplishing my goals and then plan my week according to what I want to accomplish by my full moon. And then you move forward. What am I going to accomplish next full moon? So let me give you a perfect example of what I'm working with right now. I, this season, am trying to plan something very exciting for you all on 420, which means every full moon, I am achieving something different in order to make sure that this idea, this big thing that I want to do on 420 comes to fruition. All right. And if you are able to map it out, plan it

out. Sorry, I have the hiccups. I've been chugging matcha all morning. But if you're able to plan it out, you know, give yourself hard set check in dates by when you want to accomplish something it makes that big idea way more manageable and will actually bring it into existence if you just have this huge idea of something that you want to do but you don't know where to start and you don't plan and you're unable to do check-ins because you're a little nervous or scared or whatever it happens to be your future self will thank you because if you just take a little bit of time to plan to really look forward to get excited about the future it will make your future even fucking better when i was younger i had a really hard time looking towards the future because i couldn't see

myself living that long now that i've lived past the age of when i thought i was going to you know what i mean um now i'm like oh shit i have nothing planned for my future let's start working on that let's get excited about it and it does take like actually sitting down with yourself and asking yourself like hey what do I want to do what do I want to achieve what is my thesis this season going to be what is the idea I'm chasing what is the plan that I'm trying to create and then let's sit down and figure out a way to manage and to work through it in the span of three months in order to achieve that thing that's going to be way easier than you just being like fingers crossed I hope I get motivation tomorrow to do it you know what I mean

planning goes a long way I guarantee it and the future is not as scary as you think and your future self will thank you for just doing a little bit of the hard work but I love there's something magical about the cheesy wall calendars that you have hanging up it's just so fun to be greeted by like a little beautiful cheesy picture on your wall every day there's something cathartic about having colorful pens and pencils to write things out to cross days out to fill in the blanks on your calendar and then even more special is just having that physical reminder at the end of the year to see how far you've come once you've filled out one of these calendars or planners or whatever taking a moment to look back through them and they sell special

planners where you even have a space for each day like a weekly kind of section and I would also use that for maybe journaling or gratitude or filling in like oh today I did this even if it's just like a one-liner it's really fun to look back and see how far you've come and all the things you've done and all the things you've accomplished throughout the year because it's really easy to get ahead of ourselves and kind of forget about how much we can really do in a year but having that physical reminder at the end of the year which will be coming up in 12 months if we start working now um it's really beautiful see how far you can get see how much things you can get done you'd be surprised you really will hi hannah i'm calling from england i literally love listening

to your podcast it's like the most motivating thing for me um i just wanted to call and ask how you stay feeling like carefree and kind of uh like choosing to live like you know I guess I can only say like more childlike but um while you kind of keep up with all of like the big jobs that life throws at you all the big girl stuff anyways uh thanks for recording literally love the podcast bye love you cutie so i get in this mindset a lot where i become too adultish which is not healthy too childish not healthy as well you know you gotta have some routine you gotta have the adult step in you gotta have you know be able to wake up and go to your job but you also need that child like wonder to keep you from becoming way too adultish way too cold cut off from the world

letting the world kind of eat you it's a fine balance um so you have to yes step into both shoes but when you find yourself stepping too far into the adult realm and you find yourself being a little too serious as i like to call it um literally i'll just have to stop and remind myself like it doesn't fucking matter in the best way possible like it doesn't matter this is our life we need to take it not so seriously like on new year's eve when i got way too fucked up the adult person in my head was like bitch you were falling outside i bet you were a mess at the place i bet you were embarrassing blah blah talking down on myself oh i should have had more composure i should have blah blah blah no you gotta step in be like you don't want no it's okay to have fun

it's okay to be crazy to do all these crazy things to have a good time to have a little bit of a laugh to make people laugh as well along the way that's healthy that's fine that's normal there's nothing wrong with it I didn't hurt anybody I didn't hurt myself I got some cuts and bruises sure but a laugh came you know along with it you have to stop taking things so seriously while also enriching and encouraging that childlike behavior so if you're curious about something allow yourself to stay curious about it. If there's some store that you randomly happen to stumble across and you're like, oh, I should go inside. I just want to go check it out. But the adult part of your brain steps in and is like, well, you don't have any money. You need to get home and make

yourself lunch. And you got work in a couple hours. Realistically, you stepping into that shop and taking a look around is not really going to do any harm. In fact, it's going to encourage you to stay creative, to stay sharp, to keep your mind wondering, to have a little bit of fantasy about the world, to have a little bit of optimism about the world. It's just taking those moments where you find yourself inclined to step into that childlike behavior like, I just want to go wander around a park. I would love to go to the aquarium. I, you know, would love to sit down and doodle right now instead of allowing your adult brain to step in and kind of smush that down encourage it enrich it allow yourself to have that childlike sense of wonder and optimism for the

world um you know you gotta kind of just squash out the adult part of you a little bit if it becomes too controlling and too forceful and kind of like you know when people are like oh i protected my peace too much now I'm boring it's like that's kind of a real thing I've been there I like for the past year have very much so been in hibernation mode very much protect my peace kind of ideology and it has made me boring I haven't stepped out of my comfort zone in a while I haven't allowed myself to explore in a while I haven't you know allowed myself to have that childlike sense of wonder and exploration about the world around me because, you know, I've been too focused on adulting and staying in and saving money and going to work and waking up and living

in this cycle. You have to have an even balance. You can't protect your peace so much that you are now a robot just existing in the world. Of course, we have our things that we need to do. You got to go to work. You got to save some money every once in a while. You got to plan a little bit. Yes.

but there is room for you to have that optimism, to have that wonder, to experience the world around you. And guess what? You can do so way much more than you could as a child because you have the ability to plan. You have the ability to have money and get yourself places and to actually travel to places and to actually, you know, experience the world around you, you don't need a caregiver, you have yourself with you. And that's all you really need. But you need to lean into that childlike wonder that childlike optimism, those experiences that your inner child kind of craves in order to find a really healthy, normal balance. So yeah, it's really mostly on a whim. I feel like that, you know, curiosity and that passion comes in waves. And when it does

come in a wave, I really try and recognize, rationalize, and step into it whenever I'm feeling like, you know, I just need to get out. I need to go explore. Like, okay, let me just go to a local park and wander around and look at some flowers and put on some romantic music and just step into that like sense of optimistic exploration or I really want a pastry or a dessert right now I have the funds to go spend five dollars on a cute little dessert to satisfy my cravings so I'm going to find a new bakery and I'm going to drive myself there like an adult but I'm going to go inside and I'm going to devour this pastry like a child would and experience the pleasures of what it's like to be a human and to exist and to eat a fresh pastry do you know what I mean

But I do think it comes on a whim. So be cognizant and recognize that and encourage it and allow yourself to exist not only as a byproduct of the world, but as a fellow component of it. You are an intertwining of this world. So you have to experience it and step into it to feel like you're a part of it. You know what I mean? oh my god someone sent me a question that said do i leave the ex that said he couldn't promise me he won't have sex with others in 2022 first of all why are we still in contact with our exes second of all why are we still in contact with our exes if they are not putting any emphasis towards you or building a healthy relationship yes leave leave that man in the dirt where he belongs at oh my god someone asked how to stop being codependent I think this is a great question um my first relationship I wasn't super codependent I could very much so live my best life live my life without them um and we'd come together at the end of the day enjoy our time

together but I also had a great group of friends and I was in college and I had many other things going on um second relationship extremely codependent he was also emotionally abusive so that didn't help at all whatsoever he very much so isolated me from a lot of my friends and family um every time I had a family event he would not come he would not show up he would not support me if I went out with friends he would always project and be like oh you're gonna go cheat on me I hate your friends blah blah blah so I felt like I was stuck in a cycle where I was at home and I couldn't make him happy but I was also going out and I couldn't make him happy if you find yourself in that situation you gotta leave okay if he is not helping you fix the problems that you have when

it comes to codependency it's never going to get good I really recommend just cutting cords before you get yourself too deep and you lose sight of who you are now in this relationship we've both kind of been through some things um we've both experienced love in many different aspects which I honestly really enjoy and really appreciate because we've both been through hard times we've been through good times we both know where our faults lie we both know how we behave in relationships so we can be honest and open and talk to each other um about these things so I have been able to heal a lot of my codependency issues in this relationship um and a lot of it comes from truth and honesty I understand that people get insecure or whatever but if you had

stuff going on in past relationships that affected you negatively you should be able to bring it up talk about it say hey um you know this happened and I'm going to have some anxious tendencies because of it I hope you can stay patient with me I hope you can understand me and I hope you can help me work through it with you being honest being open talking through these problems together sure it is an issue regarding you but you're also in a relationship and you guys can work through those things together i'm not saying you should project and make it your partner's only goal to fix you that's not healthy either that's even more codependency um you guys should be working together them providing you a little bit of support while

also you taking the time to work on yourself along with honesty truthfulness and conversation to work through problems that you might have um gained from previous relationships or just from yourself a lot of codependency issues are is rooted in insecurity um you not believing in yourself you not believing in your partner you not trusting in yourself you not trusting in your partner um and trust me I know this because when the insecurity climbs in that's when you have like all of the super crazy unrational thoughts and feelings like that's when like you have an amazing wonderful partner but in your head you're like they're leaving and cheating on me in the middle of the night when I'm asleep like bitch what are you talking about what are we what what are we

talking about? You know what I mean? Insecurity makes you go crazy because it's never rooted in reality. You yourself are a wonderful, amazing, beautiful, perfect person. Even if you've done the worst things, even if you've done the best things, we're humans. We all make mistakes. We all grow. We all learn. We all change. We all, you know, are going to advance ourselves. But when insecurity steps in, that's when you're like, oh my god, why am I having so many weird, unrational thoughts. And you have to address that and you have to be honest with yourself and you have to nip it in the bud as soon as you start feeling those things. So with codependency, you and your partner can build a healthy relationship and a healthy trust in each other by being honest

about your feelings, about what you're going through, about things you've gone through in the past, while also challenging these things a little bit. So me, I'm codependent in the sense where it's like I have a tendency of isolating myself from friends and family because I love being with my partner and I love spending time with them but that's not healthy but when I leave away from my partner I get super anxious um for whatever reason most of it not based in reality he's just a comfort person and when I'm not with him uh I would I was getting super anxious and I wasn't hanging out with friends a lot because of it because I would rather just be like oh I'm gonna go home and hang out with my boyfriend which is awesome you know it's great to want to

spend time together but you have to make time for your friends so a lot of what I did was just challenging myself okay well I'm gonna go to a rave by myself big anxious moment but I go I have fun I run into friends I have a great time my boyfriend's supporting me while I'm there he's not like my ex who would just be like fuck you I'm not gonna talk to you all night not healthy not healthy not healthy he supports me love you babe I'll see you after I'll get you some pizza so you're ready when you come home I'm updating him throughout it um and then when we get back there's no like weird tension there's no weird miscommunication it's just oh this is what I did I had a great time let's hug let's cuddle let's take a shower let's go to bed you know what I

mean now it's not only from my perspective but it's from my partner's perspective as well so if I want to be able to go out have fun with friends do whatever come back feel supported feel loved feel cared for I have to have that same attitude when my partner is doing things as well so when he's like yeah I'm gonna go on a skate trip with my friends I'm like cool wonderful love you I hope you have a fantastic time uh just update me on what you're doing and yeah and guess what when they go out and do that thing by themselves with their friends I'm not sitting pacing around my house anxiously ripping out my hair like well what if they're with another girl or what if they're cheating on me or what is they're not doing what I say all those things

sure I mean not reality but could possibly be a possibility but since they're not based in reality I'm not going to take the time to even think about them or perseverate on them or let them just completely consume my mind I am going to go treat myself to all of my favorite things enjoy my time by myself get out of the house distract myself maybe hang out with friends if I can okay and then when they get home wonderful oh my god I miss you I love you so much hugs kisses whatever because guess what if they're gonna cheat on you if they're gonna do horrible awful things to you when you're gone that's gonna happen whether you are overly controlling checking their every movement on apple maps uh calling them every five minutes um literally putting an

air tag on their car they're gonna do that whether you are fucking crazy psycho spending all of your time every second worrying about it or if you're just doing your own thing not even worried about it clueless to what's going on it's gonna happen either way so why waste your time worried perseverating on it when you can just do your own thing enjoy your own time and since that shit is definitely not happening because hopefully you're in a healthy relationship um you guys can come together be stronger be better for it but it's all about challenging yourself in a relationship by getting out of your comfort zone a little bit by uplifting your partner and supporting them in their endeavors and by also being truthful and honest about how you're feeling and like why

these feelings are arising so with him he has been cheated on so he'll be like I'm just having these feelings because my last relationship this happened and I just have a lot of anxieties and it's like okay thank you for voicing that to me I'm not gonna get defensive and be like well why would you think that about me because like I get it we all have traumas I'm gonna reassure you and uplift you and support you when i'm having anxious tendencies about whatever the fuck i've created in my brain i go to him and i'm like hey i love you i'm having a lot of anxiety i need some reassurance and he's more than willing to give you that reassurance to uplift me to support me that is a mutually beneficial relationship and that's how you combat codependency trusting being truthful

and challenging yourself and your partner love it codependency I get it also if you find yourself in a codependent relationship and you're trying to make it healthy like I did in my last relationship I would try to like oh we'll challenge or oh let me be truthful or whatever and it always backfired every single time backfired he was just even meaner even ruder more emotionally abusive to me if you find yourself in that kind of cycle leave it's never gonna get better it's never going to get better of course relationships are all about work but it should not be work every single fucking day that's called a job and if you're not getting paid for that it is not worth it not worth it i spent two years in that relationship and i should have cut it off by like the first

three months so save yourself some time save yourself some energy find someone who's willing to work with you and support you and love you. You will. You will find that person. Trust me. Hey, girly. I hope that your IUD went super well and that you're relaxed and calm the whole time and you're healing and feeling so much better. My question is, I'm looking for a wine that doesn't really taste like wine or an alcohol that doesn't really have an alcohol taste. Something like really fruity and bubbly and like you literally can't tell that it's alcohol so let me know girl I love you okay if I'm being honest with you guys what are the oh my god what one of the major ways that I drink is soju after working in a like Asian fusion restaurant for such a long time

I have learned to love soju so soju is my favorite way to drink preferably the green grape flavor or the plum flavor those are my top two the strawberry tastes horrible green grape is refreshing plum tastes like hawaiian punch take it by a shot okay i usually will be like okay i need a bottle for a night very fun you can share it with friends and it's just like super duper sweet now it will give you a crazy fucking hangover because it is sweet so please be careful any alcohol plus sugar combo is just never really ever great for the next day kind of situation but if you're looking for something that you just like cannot taste it soju soju all the way oh someone asked what's my favorite adventure to go on they said something to

do when you're feeling antsy and spontaneous so i've really been missing this but in the summer I would just pack a little bag put on a little micro bikini in my shoes and there's this river like kind of near downtown in the middle of the fucking woods it would take me like 15 minutes to hike to my spot and I would just spend that time just hiking listening to the river listening to the wind blow in the trees surrounded by so much lush green and then I would just sit by the river all afternoon and just enjoy my life and honestly it was the best fucking thing when I just needed to escape and get out and just enjoy life like literally it's so peaceful that me and my boyfriend were sitting in the river just holding still like enjoying our time and little

fish were swimming up to us and like nibbling on us and they were like bright orange I was like this is incredible I feel like snow white right now but since it is the winter time and I do live in the city there honestly is nothing better than just like putting together a fun fit throwing on a big coat putting on your shoes and just wandering down the streets you would be surprised what you're going to stumble across the little shops you're going to stumble across the people you're going to meet the coffee you're going to have whatever it may be if you live in the city that's really helpful if you live in the suburbs or kind of like outside of a city and it's winter I recommend just like going downtown and just wandering around um the other day I was like

wanting to go to this vintage store so I walked to the vintage store and then there was a plant store next door and I went to the plant store and it was so fucking cute and then I went to the art supply store and it was just a great little day to wander around and look at things and experience new shops and talk to new people that I've never met and I spent like maybe $15 like I only bought a few new paintbrushes I didn't really like go ball out or anything I just wanted to go explore and get into a new environment and a new setting so that's what I recommend if you are unsure about what to do to your day or how to explore or what kind of spontaneous trips you want to take there are probably a lot of environments and inviting places that are just right outside your door you

don't need to catch a flight sometimes you can just walk to the corner of your street and find something new to do someone said this mercury retrograde is kicking their ass i have learned how to kind of master retrogrades specifically mercury retrogrades and it the key is no matter what your sign is no matter how you're affected by it the key to mercury retrogrades is mastering patience okay it's gonna throw you some loops it's gonna throw you some curveballs it's gonna you know change up plans a little bit and it's all about keeping patience and taking a deep breath before you learn to react um mercury this mercury retrograde is also like stationed very close to Pluto which kind of heightens the intensity a little bit and shows that things are either going

to be coming and going towards us or we're going to be needing to release some things or take on some things. Secrets, exes, fights, transportation delays, electronic delays, things like that all are very very common mercury retrograde is not the time for you to be in communication with a ex or with anybody who you are not completely and utterly interested in continuing a long-term relationship with while also i think mercury retrograde can be a great time for long-term couples or couples who have been together for a while to either strengthen their bond as in miscommunications are going to be there with long-term relationships and friends and people around you miscommunications are heightened we're more focused on ourselves so i think this is

a great time to kind of stop take a breather and work with your partner on things but also if you're sensing during this time like my partner is refusing to work with me we are just entering these cycles over and over again and this isn't getting better this is a great time to take this energy this like kind of fuck you fighting energy and to end it to to take that fiery energy that it's providing you and to move forward and end it um like i said lots of travel delays lots of electronic issues i knew we were mercury retrograde when my parents were texting me um simultaneously about how well a they were going they're driving somewhere and there's a whole building on fire and then in the background of the video my mom sent me my parents were just

arguing she's like pay attention to the road he's like i am it's just like funny they're both gemini's so it's like that's how they behave not nothing toxic also my dad got my mom a diamond ring a fancy diamond ring for christmas and she's like it's too big we got to take it back and then my dad who never talks about weed stuff for with me was like i need some edibles so like i knew it was mercury retrograde when all of that chaotic energy was texted to me at 9 a.m the morning of um so yeah it's all about patience it really is it's all about mastering patience and mastering the understanding of knowing that you will get through this thing take a deep breath take some time to yourself if you need but don't let it take control of you you know what i mean

hi hannah um how can i be there for my friends emotionally see i'm a very logical person so it's very hard for me to um talk about feelings i tend to come up with a very logical answer um but i understand that sometimes you don't want the logical answer you just want to talk about your feelings but it's very hard for me to talk about my feelings with my friends even though obviously i care about them how can i learn to be okay with emotions without over explaining the situation with a logical answer okay so i am very much so like this especially towards my boyfriend when he will have an issue and he'll just be like wanting to complain I'll just be like oh I don't have time to sit here and listen to you complain like here's the obvious answer

move on but like that is so mean especially when they just want someone to listen to them and be receptive and to look at them and be like yeah that fucking sucks love you do you know what I mean um so I feel like when you find yourself in a position where you're like a little bit cold and emotionally cut off um you know just let them rant you can do whatever you need to do in your head to get through it and to just be there and to just let them rant to someone I feel like that's a very normal thing to do as a friend is to just be like yeah tell me all the deets totally get it off your chest I don't care like it's you're not gonna burden me get it off your chest and then when you find yourself wanting to be like oh it's okay you know don't worry about this or well you could

do this stop yourself okay that is not the response you're gonna give you're gonna look them dead in the eyes and you're gonna go damn yeah that sucks what else keep going keep telling me more they want the platform you give them the platform let them be emotional and get it all out they will feel better without you having to say anything now when you are a little bit unemotional like I can get this way as well I have a hard time expressing my emotions especially like new people or maybe when I was younger I had a hard time especially with friends um it was because I was afraid I was gonna get judged when it when in reality people aren't usually judging you they're just letting you be yourself and they're going to be themselves and that's how that is

and a true friend is not going to judge you the way you judge yourself in your head is not a rational way that people think are thinking about you and in fact being emotional and having these little rants and finding comfort in somebody feeling the comfort to express yourself as well as feeling the comfort to allow people to express themselves builds a lot of trust and builds a really healthy relationship so I challenge you don't be cold and cut off allow your friends to rant every once in a while and it and instead of giving them a answer they're not looking for an answer they're not asking you a question they just want to talk about their shitty day and for you to be like yeah that is fucking shitty now let me tell you about my shitty day you know what i mean

you can go back and forth and if you're also a little bit unemotional like i have some friends who are like this not super in touch with their emotions but i love it i absolutely love it when they go on a rant or when they tell me about their day or when they have a little cry i'm like oh my god they do feel things love and then instead of me being like overly hyper aware that they're showing me their emotions I just let them express that and I let them show up as they are and I thank them and I'm I agree with them and I'm like yeah that fucking sucks but I think giving answers to people's problems is never what they're looking for they're usually just looking for somebody to listen to them so practice listening and also I challenge you to practice expressing yourself

i guarantee they won't judge you they're your friends okay and also it builds that bonding and it strengthens a relationship tenfold okay so someone said i keep comparing myself to girls who look opposite of me please help it's consuming me felts have absolutely been there many many times it comes down to the old saying grass is always greener on the other side you could be amazing beautiful brilliant like victoria's secret model skinny but in your head you're like oh i wish i was bbl thick girl do you know what i mean there's so many different variations of how you can be um how your body is built how we are naturally conceived as human beings which i think is wonderful and amazing and brilliant that is what's true beauty is how

different we all are and how different one human can be expressed in so many different ways which is why i have a slight problem with plastic surgery because i'm like i don't want everybody to look the exact same that's boring i love unique individual individualistic features well it took me a second to get out um but when it comes to comparison it's always that ideal of well the grass is always greener on the other side just because someone else looks different than you doesn't mean it's taking anything away from you at all so when I found myself in this kind of warped ideology I had to take a break from social media and take a break from looking at pictures of other women and I first had to fix the issue that I had with myself there's nothing inherently

wrong with you during that time where I was having this kind of issue there was nothing inherently wrong with me I just needed to spend more time with my body and spend more time appreciating it once I had that mastered which took a little bit of time I'm not gonna lie I just spent a lot of time naked in my apartment walking around um it kind of just shock value or shock therapies you into like yeah I have a body and it's wonderful and it does all these things for me and I'm appreciative of it I don't have to cover it up all the time um no matter what I look like even if I'm bloated even if I'm breaking out whatever a body is a body who cares once I was able to kind of fix that relationship I had with my body and stop seeing it as a negative thing but more so as

just a body we're all given one it is what it is like there is no negative or positive I'm just thankful to have one in general um then I was able to fix my relationship with other women and I realized i had just conditioned myself to constantly compare constantly we as women are taught to constantly compare you open a magazine it's who wore it best uh who dressed best oh hot or not and it's pitting all these women against each other when all these women just want to coexist and exist naturally as their own you need to stop the comparison the same way that these magazines are pitting these women against each other you need to stop doing that to yourself it's not going to help you it's not going to help the other person if anything it's going to tear

you both down one thing that I did specifically to kind of heal this is if I saw another woman or like a picture of another woman or whatever and I was getting in that kind of like comparison mindset I would immediately find five compliments for the girl I was looking at and five compliments for myself and then move on that way I was able to rationalize and visualize in my head this woman is amazing and wonderful and brilliant as she is but that doesn't mean I'm not amazing wonderful brilliant as I am the true natural beauty of human existence and having a human body is that we are all so vastly different one person will never take away from another person because we are all so completely different and i think that is so wonderful and so brilliant and so beautiful just

how many different ways we can be born and how many different ways we can express ourselves so there is no woman out there who is taking away from you the only woman who is taking away from you through this comparison is yourself. You have to fix the relationship with yourself, allow yourself to simply be and appreciate the body you're in and then move on to uplifting both other women and yourself at the same time in order to combat that comparison kind of cycle. Okay, I love you. You can do it. Absolutely. It does just take a little bit of work and honestly just being honest with yourself someone said i miss physical touch uh you know what really helped me with my last breakup they actually got it for me for christmas and then we broke up shortly after that so

shout out they got me a weighted blanket that shit oof it literally feels like there's a whole entire human being on top of you it feels amazing if you have a hard time with like sleeping or sleeping alone or any of that shit a get a weighted blanket and b get a bunch of stuffed animals like a bunch i used to have the biggest collection of stuffed animals when i was younger and i miss that and like for valentine's day i'm gonna ask my boyfriend for stuffed animals because like it brings you so much happiness and peace and it feels like you have little friends around you and you can cuddle up with them um i don't get the squishmallow craze like i understand they're cute and comfy but i think they're kind of ugly i'm more like a jelly cat kind of girl i love

jelly cats they're so cute um so yeah get some stuffed animals get a really big body pillow and get a weighted blanket you will sleep like a fucking baby oh and a sound machine who doesn't love a sound machine like a little fan white noise uh the best oh my god someone's they're turning 20 today happy fucking birthday they said any advice on starting your 20s so when it comes to your early 20s like 20 to 23 accept that you don't have it all figured out you won't have it all figured out and just have as much fucking fun as you possibly can of course you're gonna have about school or work or whatever but those aren't the years that you should be like hiding yourself inside trying to save all your fucking money I'm not saying go max out a credit card but I am saying

allow yourself to be spontaneous allow yourself to be a little bit impulsive a little bit not unhealthily go out with friends meet up with new friends take risks go on adventures these are the years to do so all right I don't think you should be afraid I get it adulthood adulthood is scary but straight up you are not going to have it figured out and that's okay and that's wonderful the only way that you have it figured out is by taking time and by taking experiences and trying to learn from them all right 2023 you're basically just having a fun little party you're gonna of course cry a lot be stressed feel like you need to have it all figured out the point is you're not going to and that's okay and you have to accept it and understand that it really will just come

with time 23 you're gonna go into like a little hibernation mode which is normal it's everybody's 12th house perfection year which means that we kind of just sit down and re-evaluate who we are and who you want to become very normal very healthy um but then I think kind of after 23 like 23 to 25 is when you really start figuring out adulting so those pre those little like early 20 years just have as much fucking fun as you can okay estate live at your parents house too if you can save some money um and when you have to be there i would say just try and travel with the money you have saved um if you're in college i would take a study abroad trip i would go somewhere. I would bring a friend along. I would try and meet new friends, meet new people,

experience new connections. That's what you want to do in your early 20s. So don't hide yourself away. And also don't think that you need to have it all figured out. You're just going to put way too much fucking pressure and stress on yourself. Just try and have some fun and try not to go too fucking crazy. Okay? Love you. Happy birthday. Hi, Hannah. I'm smoking a joint right now. just wanted to pop into the pod real quick to say hey and I love you and someone just honked at me anyway um I have a weird situationship going on right now and I'm just looking for a little bit of advice um because both of us are aware that like we're not in places to be in a relationship right now but both of us have feelings for each other and like we have sex all the time we hang

like pretty much every day but we have like established that we probably shouldn't have a relationship right now because like he's gonna be going away to school soon and so am I and just like whatever it's just not the right time is this healthy or is this something I should be like trying to step away from because like as of right now we're both benefiting from it but anyway I don't know it also bothers me a little bit oh my god I'm running out of time okay love you bye oh the old situation ship um i'm not gonna give you the kind of advice where it's like you need to leave him because he's not giving you everything you want and i'm also not gonna give you the girl boss advice of like you're gonna have a horrible awful time because you're gonna

have to leave each other i don't know i just feel like there's a lot of toxic advice i can give you but let me just be real and give you honest big sister advice there's a lot of people you're gonna meet in your life and you're gonna have amazing wonderful connections with and it's not gonna work out and that's totally fine it sucks when you realize that you're on a little bit of a time crunch but I do think you should have as much fun as you can while you can while understanding that you know it might not work when you know he has to go away to school or maybe you have to go away to school but maybe you can have some real fun for the next month you know either way it's going to hurt no matter what whether you give him up today and move on

with your life and try and end it early or you wait it out until he goes away to school and then end it there either way it's going to hurt so i say have your fun while you can while it's still healthy don't take it too seriously hang out have some good sex eat some good food go on some fun little adventures and yourself in 20 years will be looking back laughing and giggling thinking about them um but you won't miss them you will just miss the memories so why not create some really good memories for yourself for while you're younger do you know what i mean it's okay to love and be in love even though you're you don't want to call it love because it's not a full-blown relationship and you can't take it seriously it is love and you have love for the person because you're having

fun and you're creating new memories so I would say just indulge indulge have some fun smoke some good weed have some good sex understand that it does come to an end don't live in the fantasy world that you know oh well maybe it'll work well maybe don't live in that fantasy world you're gonna hurt yourself way fucking more know that it has to come to an end accept it but just have some fun along the way until it has to come to an end do you know what I mean what's wrong with having a little bit of fun someone asked how the fuck do I be happy I've tried for so long and it only lasts two weeks and then I go back to I don't see the rest of the message but I'm sure probably go back to sadness that's because and let me be so fucking honest with you happiness is not a

sustainable feeling and you're like oh my god that means the world is awful and i'm gonna feel sadness for the rest of my life no it just means that emotions come in waves and you cannot fight the bad emotions so much that you make them non-existent from your life they are going to come no matter what the key to true happiness is actually just being content and being not in control of your emotions but allowing them to exist I think that is the true like quote-unquote happiness that everybody is reaching for you being like on 10 fucking happy serotonin dripping out of your ears is not a sustainable way to live and will last you a couple hours tops and then guess what you're back down to being a little sad or you know feeling a little mundane or you know not

feeling that elevated high that high happiness feeling that's because it's not a sustainable feeling that feeling is saved for when you're with a group of friends out having a good time or when a cat comes up to you on the street and rubs its body on your leg like come on or when someone you love gives you a really tight hug that's happiness when you look at a beautiful sunset but that's not constantly happening throughout your day 24 7 that's not possible all right contentness is what you're looking for you're looking for simply existing and feeling peace that's true like elevated existing right there but that doesn't mean quote-unquote bad emotions are not going to bubble up and resurface every once in a while but the question is how do

you handle those bad emotions do you let that one little bad emotion oh someone cut in front of me when I was driving now I'm gonna be depressed and in bed all week or do you understand hey it's not that deep sure that pissed me off I'm gonna sit with it for a second and then I'm going to allow it to leave so I can continue on with my day. There's ways that you can handle emotions in order to make life a little bit easier on yourself. Don't let them over consume you. Let them sit, let them talk to you and let them leave. All right, take what you need to from your emotions. But searching for that high, high happiness all the time is not a sustainable way of living. contentness is what you're looking for. And emotional maturity is what you're looking

for emotions are gonna come and go they're gonna visit like friends but it sucks when one overstays their visit a little bit longer than you would like so allow them to leave you don't have to hold on to things so fucking tightly and grasp at them with like white knuckles that's not necessary all the time and it sucks sometimes where you're like oh i've been sad for so long but also like i've kind of put myself in this place like i've kind of dug my hole a little bit so ask yourself like why do I do this? Why does it make me feel good? Why am I forcing myself to keep these emotions much longer than I really should? Is it because it feels a little bit more comfortable than something else? Is it because you're too familiar with it? Challenge yourself to you know

really feel these things but then accept them and try and release them. A big way for me to be able to get more in touch with my emotions was me just being honest with myself and having conversations with myself. That makes me sound fucking crazy but honestly like talking with myself and discussing and thinking these things through thoroughly has helped me more than anything. That's why I recommend journaling so much because for people who have a hard time thinking things through and working things through either verbally or in their head, writing it out on a piece of paper is way easier and if you have a hard time with like a notebook get a whiteboard get like the whiteboards that you had in class where you can just scribble write down and then immediately

erase and then scribble write down some more stuff and immediately erase that is a great way for you to be able to work through your emotions and it's all about just feeling them it can be as messy as sloppy as misunderstood writing as you want or thought processes as you want it's all about trying to work through them but happiness like true true like elevated serotonin on a hundred happiness is not a sustainable way of living I think true happiness that people are trying to fight for and trying to discover within their own life is actually just being content and just being chill like do you know what I mean like it doesn't mean negative emotions don't come it doesn't mean positive emotions come means you allow both into your life and you work through them and you work

through them to get to the best version that you can of yourself but contentness is really kind of what I've been seeking recently especially I feel like I came out of a depression and then I was searching for those highs way too much those high happiness feelings and then I realized those were just as unsustainable as the sadness was really what I was looking for was something in the middle something where I could allow both to coexist but they weren't there to stay they were just there to visit every once in a while and I stayed somewhere in the middle so they could visit you know I love you though you will find it you will understand but stop trying to put so much pressure on yourself to achieve something that is so so very difficult to achieve hi Hannah I'm literally recording this

from the pub bathroom because I didn't want to forget to send it in but I wanted to know if you had any advice on getting out of a spiritual rut when I was like 15 16 I had a really big spiritual awakening and then around 18 I had a really big patch of depression and since then it's just been really hard for me to get into the things that I used to do I don't really manifest anymore I don't really meditate I don't do yoga like affirmations I stopped and it's not that I don't believe in this stuff anymore it's not that it doesn't like make me happy and feel me it's just finding the motivation to do it all has been really hard ever since my depression battle so if you've gone through this or if you have any advice at all I would really love to hear it thank you happy new

year happy new year okay so when I can't source my motivation from inside I source my motivation from outside sources and in the spiritual world my favorite way to source my motivation from outside sources is from other spiritual people specifically older spiritual women so when I find myself in a rut like I did a couple months ago I went to a full moon circle I knew I loved spirituality I wanted to get a little bit more in touch with it it was led by these wonderful women who knew so much it was so brilliant it was so beautiful very eye-opening luckily the internet it exists okay so there's so many sources out there that you can dive into and find inspiration from and they're going to drop little tidbits of habits and opportunities and things that they do

that then you can get inspired by and trying to incorporate into your life so whether it's physically finding inspiration from other spiritual women or like online finding inspiration from other spiritual women I say just try and tap into the sources of energy that they are abundantly trying to give you access to that's why I do this whole podcast because I understand that when I was younger and I was going through super fucking hard times and I didn't really know where to look and I had a hard time deciphering good role models I needed someone like who I am right now at 23 in my life. So if I can be there and show up for you guys and be honest with you guys and try and give you guys a little bit of information or inspiration or ways that I make it through the

world in order to help you guys navigate the world better, then that's all I really fucking want to do with my life. You know what I mean? So there are women out there who want to help you, who want to uplift you, especially in the spiritual realm. Um, and I guarantee there are communities in your area that do this. Um, when I was finding my, like, full moon, um, what is it called? Oh, my full moon, like, ritual thing. I just looked online for psychics. I was just looking online for psychics. I was like, I need to go to a psychic, and I found this girl, and she does she didn't do psychic readings but she did like um like spiritual therapy almost where you meet and you just chat and it's not like it's not like a like a life coach but somewhere

in the middle like a spiritual life coach and a psychic as well as a therapist um and then I saw she was doing full moon circles and that's how I fell into that so there's a bunch of resources probably both physically and online that you can tap into and whenever me especially personally whenever I'm feeling drained and I feel like my energy is at zero and there's nothing for me to pull from in order to create energy I do have to look outwards and it is a okay to look outwards especially for inspiration I mean in art school that's fucking rule number one whatever you're planning whatever ideas you're trying to build from you find a bunch of photos and writings and things that inspire you and you print them out and you cut them out and you hang them on the wall

and then from those hundred photos you take inspiration you build your own thing from it it's okay to source from outside we all are not going to have energy 24 7 and that's okay but accept it and then allow yourself to look outwards and find motivation from others love you i was gonna make this podcast shorter but i like the time frame that we got going on also i have some very exciting stuff coming for you guys this new year new ways that i want to incorporate the podcast into your day-to-day life maybe some video podcasts maybe some little vlogs oh my god who knows i have some exciting merch drops coming up it's gonna be an incredible fucking new year not only for me but for you guys as well and I can't wait to create and show you guys everything

that I have been planning so thank you for joining me first podcast of the new year it's been good I've loved it feels great kind of getting back into this routine and also it's a fantastic fucking distraction from the IUD cramps I have going on right now so love that thank you for joining me i love you all so very much and next week you will see the big surprise that i have coming so stay tuned follow through listen up on what we got going on i'm very excited to show you guys everything that i have been wanting to create and also expand this podcast a little bit more maybe help out some more people along the way but i love you all thank you for joining me i hope you had an amazing fucking new year um and yeah i will see you all so very shortly once again

any podcast questions always go to my instagram at hannah marlene um i have like a meme account attached to my main account that i just post like little memes and updates about the podcast if you want to follow me there i have a patreon that's at hannah marlene i post little tidbits of information journal prompts tarot tarot card readings vlogs ask Hannah little videos you name it it is all the extras are going to be on there and I have so much new amazing incredible things coming for the podcast I recently been working with Spotify a little bit to create it so I'm very excited but I love you all I hope the new year has been treating you well understand there There is no perfect way to start the new year.

If you feel like you haven't started it off on the right foot, that doesn't matter. There is no quote unquote, quote unquote, right way to start something. It's all about just finding the motivation and taking that first step to do so. So hopefully I was able to provide you some tools, some tips, some tricks to get some motivation, to find some inspiration and to help plan out your future in order to make it as beautiful and as wonderful as you deserve. Love you all so fucking much. you to get this podcast out i know there's been a bunch of you guys dming me like girl where is it

what where's the podcast so let me get that out to you i love you all so much have a safe wonderful rest of your week and i'll see you on tuesday