Smoke Sesh - how to be pretty, crazy girl allegations & break up with your situationship

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

happy Tuesday and welcome back to another fun episode of smoke sesh! If you didn't see the extra patreon only ep that I made public go check out youtube.com/smokeseshshawty but we are back with regularly scheduled content! we chat what ive been up to and how to harness the full moon lunar eclipse in pisces energy we all might be experiencing today, we also talk age gap relationships and do I support? will they ever truly work? how tf do I keep going when everything feels so hard? how to read your girlfriends mind, and boyfriend tips to make her feel special, the big question, identity, and how to build it and keep it, male attention, asking him to eat it (politely), breaking codependency in relationships from the bpd queen herself, is your friendship serving you and are people truly here to "serve" you? boundaries in relationships and breaking the crazy girl stigma, learning to say what's on your mind, break up with your situation ship, what's the craziest thing ive ever done in the bedroom, how I learned to be pretty and what is true beauty? plus much much much more! If you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and follow the instagram @hannahmarlene to see more content! love you all and can't wait to chat next week ! MUAH

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hotties of the world and welcome back to another beautiful wonderful incredible hopefully healing and relaxing episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host if you know me already welcome back i'm so happy to have you again if you're new here which a lot of new people have been showing up. Very excited to have you. Love that you're finding me. Welcome to the

family. This is going to be a good little episode. I can feel it in my bones. We have a lot coming up astrologically, interpersonally for me personally, obviously. Also, I feel like this hat is giving Trump a little too much. I'm so sorry about that. Listen, as a midwestern girl i'm trying to reclaim the camo i love a camo moment i think it's just the orange that's throwing me off it is a chapel rowan hat please please it's a chapel rowan hat midwest princess best believe i need to rep my girl always okay um but this hat came in the mail this weekend that was my highlight of my weekend had a pretty chill weekend so far i feel like usually when i get on these episodes since i do record on monday and i work like four days up

until monday monday being like quote unquote my saturday which would be a normal working person saturday um usually saturdays are for like okay sleeping in no work at all you're a little exhausted maybe you like don't want to interact with anybody valid valid valid so usually i come on these episodes and i feel like i'm like a little too burnt out but honestly this week i'm feeling surprisingly enough pretty fucking good i don't know if i've just hit like a sweet spot in my mental illness where i'm hitting the mania a little too hard and i'm just powering through the pain or if i'm actually sane one of the two is happening either way happy to be here happy to hopefully inspire you with that energy um and yeah we're gonna get into all of your questions

if you guys didn't see since last week the main episode was mainly just me chit-chatting about my trip to austin texas which love um i did upload the patreon episode the patreon only podcast public on my youtube channel my youtube channel is smoke sesh shawty um just so everybody could get a little bit more hannah content a little more smoke sesh content what's better than that and i do do the patreon episodes a little differently i feel like it's more interpersonal it's more sit down q a youtube style um and if you would like to become a patreon member and you're wondering you know what do those episodes look like go give it a little listen go give it a little watch um i do answer every single person's question on patreon every thursday

basically so if you want your question answered if you want to join the family if you want to get more content from me uh patreon.com smoke shawty i also saw one of you comment i love that spotify has comments now that's super exciting to me because previously they only had polls and my spotify rep was like oh yeah no we have comments um go check them out whatever i love seeing what you guys have been commenting obviously it's nothing but sweet stuff so thank you for that so i don't have a more of a mentee bee than i usually already do um i appreciate the encouragement you guys are the sweetest people on the earth i love that we've garnered like a little family of just like peace positivity like we're trying to escape whatever craziness nonsense

is happening out there and find like a little glimmer a little shine of hope and i'm glad that we found it here but one of you guys was like i've been listening for three years which i've been doing this podcast for like I believe three years and she's like every episode I can see Hannah's like prefrontal cortex completely form a little bit more you know like I can see her brain forming and balancing a little bit more which has me giggling because those first episodes were pretty chaotic I was a little unhinged I was also unemployed so best believe I was just like off the rails, but now I'm a little more stable. I'm able to give a little bit more advice. I'm a little more sane, able to organize these a little bit better. So I'm glad that, you know, my brain

forming more is helping these episodes. And then also one of you guys were like, wait, what's your Instagram? Um, I, I stopped plugging my Instagram on here just cause I figured everybody was following me. Um, but if you don't follow me, uh, instagram.com slash Hannah Marlene is my Instagram channel channel hello girl Instagram page where I post a lot um or I try to post a lot at least I love to get creative I love to share like my inspiration whether it's small things in life or big things in life recipes baking reels funny little quotes whatever it is I do like to share on there I'm a big Instagram user I used to be like only a TikTok user and recently i have fallen off of tiktok tiktok just has not been enthralling me the way like i want

an app to do you know what i mean so i've stopped really engaging with tiktok especially like using it and so when i talk about addictions i always talk about like going cold turkey is always the hardest thing in the world listen i've been addicted to many substances many things many anything you can get addicted to babe i've been there trust okay the genes the addictive gene is strong in this one so social media has been very addicting for me I mean it's addicting for everybody it's meant to be addicting and the biggest thing that I found that I was addicted to which I feel like most people find is TikTok we were a lot of people like ask me questions like how the fuck do I stop scrolling how the fuck do I get off TikTok and I do think when you have like

a addiction that is going to be a little bit more of a downfall and also like if you cut it off cold turkey since it is an addiction you're going to feel the absence of its presence you do need to find like a healthier addiction you got to supplement the addiction with something healthier which i you're like hannah no i don't want to be addicted to anything it's like okay great sure but also i do think healthy addictions do keep yourself running and do keep you functioning as a human maybe it's okay my healthy addiction or my healthy addiction is eating good or working out or volunteering, whatever it may be. Sometimes you got to supplement a little bit. So my slightly healthier addiction recently has been I don't scroll on TikTok anymore because I found when I

was scrolling, I was just losing hours of my time and usually leaving that app feeling more panicked than fulfilled. And sure, I can go on Pinterest. I can go on Instagram. I love those too i do use those uh pretty frequently as well as like um tumblr i read people's sub stacks pretty often i am a patreon subscriber to a few different people those are like the healthier apps i choose but when i want to get into the slightly healthier still unhealthy addiction i have been playing dress to impress i've been like okay no scrolling let me go three rounds vip server dress to impress and my life has been so much more fulfilling I find that I'm on my phone less I'm scrolling less because I'll get a couple rounds in whatever and then it'll be around

that's like a boring theme and I'm like okay I'll get off my phone I'll go find something else to do it is more long form because the rounds are like five to ten minutes so I have been loving that it's been a great redirection I've also been watching my parents dog they're out of town they're in alaska right now living their best lives my dad's somewhere in an ice cave caverning on ropes i don't know they're fucking insane they're both gemini's i'm a gemini it's a lot of energy i pick up a lot of my habits my silly little habits from them thank you but i have realized especially like taking care of a dog i haven't taken care of my animal in a long time but taking care of a dog like oh my god these dogs they will see something and immediately all

their attention's on it whether it's a squirrel a person whatever it may be and finding that healthy addiction to kind of retrain their brain and redirect their brain is so important and I think humans are the same way I mean we're all animals let's be real and our brains are going to function a little bit similarly sure maybe not a one-track mind like a dog but also like when we do have those one track mind thoughts and we want to go in a certain direction, if we just cut out that thing, it's going to be very hard to not want to focus on it. So finding that little bit of healthier thing to supplement with, even if it's still in the same realm, but you know it's going to help you kind of redirect and maybe not be as addicted to what you were. I think those things

are so important to have in your life. I think those things are so important and so necessary to do. But anyways, if you want to go watch, if you want a little extra episode, go watch it on youtube youtube.com slash smoke slash shoddy and with that being said that's really all i have to catch you guys up on um nothing really exciting happening in my life pretty much chilling trying to kind of get into the fall vibes i'm really not fully there yet this tuesday actually the day i'm uploading this we have a pisces full moon lunar eclipse oh my god girl what the fuck does that mean holy shit is the world gonna end some of these astrologers that i see it's like you better buckle up we have the craziest thing happening of all of 2024 this week it's like girl shut up with

the fear mongering like you're as bad as trump let's be real you cannot sell fear you cannot profit off of people's fear i mean you can it's easy to do but like goddamn you're a bad human for doing so you know what I mean I will never fear monger okay I will never fear monger I will warn if you need a warning but I will never fear monger I think fear is such a tactic and such like a harmful tactic that people engage in way too often and I'm over it like I've been surrounded by too much fear recently and like I would like a little bit of peace and I do think this full moon lunar eclipse in Pisces isn't as scary as maybe some people are making it out to be Pisces is such a dreamy sign i'm a pisces rising so i do feel this pretty fully it is a water sign um so

they are flowing constantly they are constantly in this like other realm i feel like whenever i meet a pisces it feels like they have one foot in like this dream realm and then one foot in reality and they're kind of stuck in this middle ground and especially with this uh full moon which is a harvest moon um we are approaching the fall equinox so i am still celebrating summer as much as i can until the fall equinox um but with this full moon lunar eclipse specifically i feel like it's having to do with interpersonal relationships and how much are you sacrificing for other people and how much is it taking a toll on you i did upload some journal prompts to kind of prep for this sunday on the patreon if you need something i'm also doing a full write-up on the patreon

maybe some spell work what to look out for how to protect and precaution yourself as well as how to go about this full moon as a learning process so if you want a more in-depth dive go join but also I will give you a little bit of a tidbit about it but I feel like this specifically this full moon is really challenging us to ask ourselves like is are people pleasing tendencies is actually helping do you know what I mean like we are sacrificing a part of ourselves to try and heal another person when that other person maybe doesn't want to be healed what are you trying to solve inside yourself to fix that for that person what are you trying to heal in yourself through another person and maybe how can you just redirect that focus back on yourself instead of trying to

put so much into other people at the end of the day everybody is their own human everybody is in charge of themselves period point blank everybody is kind of they're their own parent you know what I mean and you can't parent other people or else you're going to be constantly chasing this invisible thing and you will never feel fulfilled in life if we are constantly like i said pisces living in that other realm we're never going to be able to step into our own reality and our own true reality and really discover what the fuck we need and who the fuck we are so this pisces full moon like what are we chasing you're not being forced to care you're just being forced not to hurt compassion doesn't always require action but guilt will cause action

to compensate for that it's time to get your spirituality in order and that comes from a loving and accepting place instead of guilt and overly empathy that's not healthy your fear of not being accepted for who you are emotionally is entrapping you i think there's a lot of freedom to find in this full moon there's a lot of releasing to find in this full moon full moons are not known for manifesting new moons are traditionally known for manifesting but full moons are known for releasing so ask yourself like what is one tendency especially involving other people that you can release that will kind of make you elevate to that next level of who you are as a human it's a good one i don't think you need to be so scared and all of these astrologers

who are freaking you the fuck out are not trustworthy people okay there's two people that i really rely on or three people that i actually kind of look to for spiritual advice first person is mercurial sarah um on instagram she posts some great write-ups some great weekly forecasting and does uh interpersonal things too uh if you would like to buy something from her um i have been meaning to i need to reach out to her but she does weekly forecasting on things that you can look for um astrologically throughout the week i also really enjoy um spirit of tolly on instagram uh they are an astro astrologer i don't know why i'm having such a hard time with that word and i believe tarot reader as well they do some great write-ups

a few of those quotes that i just mentioned were from them shout out and then last but not least sai swoon she doesn't work very in depth with astrology but she does have this uh quality that is very intuitive and i love the write-ups and works that she does do on astrology and whatever is happening in the world around us i find her very inspiring so if you need resources if you're looking for where to look those are some people i recommend and then if you want to hear what i have to say more long write-up form including images thoughts feelings quotes that i am inspired by for this full moon come join the patreon patreon.com slash smoke slash shawty you will be getting all my astrology takes um monday affirmations sunday journal prompts and weekly

extra episodes where i answer every single one of your questions plus much much more but trying to make more content hopefully gonna have a vlog out soon i've just been overworking myself a little bit oops oopsies thus is the american curse but here i am ready to have some fun enough rambling from me let's get into all your questions someone said age gap relationship please no no no no no no no my demographic is uh actually like 98% women love hey girlies um and then like the 2% that it is men i feel like it's gay men which love hey um so also i feel like those women would not feel like i know the stats those women are usually in the age demographic of 18 to 28 uh median range i'm sure there's people relying outside of that um but if you are within the ages

of 18 okay to 25 i don't believe an age gap relationship will work because girl your brain doesn't even fucking formed yet i know you're not stable i know you're searching for somebody to help make you stable but if a man or anybody is dating above the age of 30 if they're above the age of 30 and they're dating anybody in that 18 to 25 age range it's simply because and i know you've heard this before but it is a thousand percent true that's why you've heard it so many times it's because they can't pull anybody their own fucking age or they have this weird fucked up thing in their head where they actually want to f a young girl i'm not going to say a kid but basically so they're only dating young women and that is weird and freaky and i don't want you

dating any freaks i want you dating good freaks but i don't want you dating any sort of weird fucked up freak who's going to give you some weird complex in your head for the rest of your life because you felt like you were taking advantage of by an older man no no no we are not letting men get away with this for so long that's why i love the internet is making fun of leonardo dicaprio so much like lol i turned 23 i i aged out of his age range of dating it's like thank god we're making fun of that because everybody's becoming more aware of how much of a fucking weirdo freak that is for him to do weirdo freak behavior and we need to call men out on weirdo freak behavior more often you are not something special because a older man wants you

every single older man not every single obviously but especially the creeps want younger women they don't give a fuck who you are it does not make you special it makes you a part of their kink please please god do set yourself free okay be aware of the warning signs and don't get yourselves in these situations now if you're in an age gap relationship and it's like okay you're 30 he's 40 50 whatever whatever once you get over like 25 later 20s then i feel like the age gap doesn't really matter as much because the intellectual age gap is not as vastly wide okay 30 to 40 there's not a huge difference in like the way you're thinking and processing maybe in like financial status maybe in like career status because you just simply have more

time but brain wise you're pretty much on the same level 40 to 50 same thing 50 to 60 pretty much same thing now once you get older like 80 90 you start regressing a little bit but when you are young there is a problematic desire when men want younger women because they intellectually want younger women do you see what i'm saying here they don't want someone on their level they don't want someone who can think for themselves they don't want someone who can behave for themselves they want someone they can control and manipulate and look at and understand that they're young and that's weird and gross and fucked up once again please please for the love of god does not make you special it makes you a part of his dream and that's so weird someone said how the fuck do you

keep going college apps and ap classes are kicking my ass real i fear we have no choice you know what I mean every time I clock in I look at my co-workers and I go we're gonna have a good day because we literally have no other choice I will look in the mirror and say that to myself sometimes it's like sure maybe I'm having a hard day maybe I'm having a hard time processing things maybe things are going difficult for me maybe I don't want to fucking be here I don't want to be at work anymore oh my god I don't want to be doing this anymore but even if you stopped the world is going to keep fucking spinning around you okay the world's gonna keep going people are gonna keep moving people are gonna keep eating people are gonna keep living their lives I had

to learn to find peace in that that no matter what everything is going to keep functioning as it is no matter what the world is going to keep spinning around you even though you maybe wanted to stop it's going to keep going so sometimes you just have to keep going as well I'm not saying you have to show up and do a thousand percent let me throw on my winged eyeliner and look bomb and put heels on and get a hundred percent in those ab classes and pass every single uh you know college app that i'm submitting and you know you don't have to be functioning at executive level every single fucking day that's not what i'm asking for you i'm asking for you to simply get up and show up that sometimes is all you have to fucking do because the world's going to keep

spinning and you got to keep moving with it or else actually not or else just that's the fact of the matter that is what it is and I started to find peace in that because sometimes when I felt like oh my god I can't do this it's like well everybody else is doing it so I might as well fucking do it as well do you know what I mean and I feel like that sounds harsh but I think uh you're young obviously so the weight of the world does feel a little bit stronger and the pull of that gravity does hit a little bit stronger than being an adult and understanding that there is like stability that you can find and that everything isn't so scary and you will figure it out but unfortunately when you're young and you are feeling the weight of the world

it feels like you want to give up so bad because you don't know what's on the other side but in reality the best way to find out what's on the other side and to make it to the other side is to simply show up every single day period how can i help my girlfriend release her stress take her out on a date don't make her plan anything just actually if she's a fucking control freak like i am you can tell her what it is and or tell her hey put on a cute outfit take her out if she doesn't want to go out buy her her favorite meal bring it home give it to her eat her pussy go to bed early it's that simple it's that simple i love when i found this thing the the straight male discourse online is them just arguing with women when men women make it

very clear what they want 24 7 do you know what i mean men be like oh women are so confusing it's like no you're making it confusing women make it very fucking blatantly obvious buy us flowers take us out on a date once a week every other week tell us we're beautiful once a day hopefully more eat us out throw some bomb dick our way it's that simple pay for the date the men want to start this discourse like oh but like should i go 50 50 like should but like what if you know like should i challenge her and make us go 50 50 shut up shut up if any man does that to you there's a challenge you in that sort of way what a fucking pussy i'm tired of the straight male discourse online women make it abundantly clear what the fuck we want and sure not all women are the same

okay but all women want to be romanced men are smart enough to understand how to romance a woman how to understand the specific woman in front of them to know their hobbies their likes their dislikes and if you're a man and you're sitting in front of your woman your girlfriend of however many years months and you ask yourself wait what does she like and you don't know oh my god that's a red flag because women i feel like are so in intuitive we know what they want we are aware we are paying attention and that's simply all we want from men we want men to be aware and to pay attention and to want to care for us it's that simple and then men get online and be like oh but what if I went 50 50 with her bitch shut up that's not you specifically that's just an issue

I'm having with other people no one in my life it's just something that I'm observing for my single friends it's like they're going out on a date and they're going and they're getting cocktails together and they get two cocktails each and the waiter brings them the bill and the man goes I'll buy one of hers bitch what you're gonna buy three cocktails and then make me by one what the fuck dude like why not just get all of them what a fucking weirdo freak and i'm tired of this behavior okay women if you wouldn't experience this and you're single and you experience that sort of behavior on a first date that is a big red flag because he's testing you on the first fucking date he's playing a little mind game with you on the first fucking date

what the fuck is he gonna do six months from now that is psycho behavior leave him at the fucking door okay bye bye anyways what can you do to take some stress off your woman you know her hobbies you know what she wants you know if she's an outside date kind of girl or maybe an inside date kind of girl buy her some flowers buy her a candle run her a bath buy her her favorite food eater out period i'm 22 realizing that i don't know or that i don't think i know who i am how do i find myself oh this kind of goes in tandem with this other question how to maintain a sense of self when you are constantly changing and growing here's the thing we as humans have become so obsessed with labels in tandem with identity and i'm not saying labels are bad i'm not being

republican like well no don't fuck it no pronouns no i think there are labels that are positive and that reinforce a sense of safety and community and reinforce a sense of identity that are very important for sure, absolutely. But also I think it's kind of trickled down into this effect where we've started labeling aesthetics and wanting to fit a certain type of label, a certain type of thing that is so identifiable and so straightforward and a perfect little category that we need to fit into.

And we as humans are simply unable to do so. we are unable to do so because we are constantly growing changing shifting adapting evolving that is important to do so as a human if you find that you're not doing that I challenge you and ask your ask you why are you not doing that period you know what I mean I am not the same person I was last year thank god I am not the same person I was three years ago thank god I'm not the same person I was at 16 thank god but also I carry all of those versions with me and inside me and that is the stability that you're craving I think you can find that stability in self by accepting and forgiving and understanding all those versions of yourself and taking from them what you needed to

learn and leaving behind what you didn't that's where you find the stability not in perfecting the aesthetic or perfecting the labels or perfecting the identity it comes in belief and understanding and forgiveness of self that's where it stems from you need to let go of the bodily idea of self and think about the spirit of it all who are you morally who are you like what are you dreaming for what are you desiring right now what are things that you've learned in the past that you're going to carry with you what are experiences that you've learned in the past you're going to carry with you or maybe leave behind that's who you are as a human not these outward things sure they're cute and they're pretty and they're fun and they're quirky but that's not who you are

because that will ultimately change and if you base who you are on these labels and these ideas and these aesthetics you're going to find yourself constantly change or chasing the true version of who you are and unfortunately i don't think you will ever find it i think you will be constantly chasing the stability that I have found in myself and in my identity has come from experience and has come from me like almost challenging myself in that sort of way sure this year I'm gonna dress this way I'm gonna look this way whatever last year I look different I dress different however I allow that space and that change to grow and I trust in those intuitive choices that I do make when it comes to aesthetic and I don't force myself to fit into certain labels but also the

baseline stability in order to feel that way and to feel that comfortability with growth and change and adoption and evolving evolving comes from belief and trust in self and the best way to form identity and form that belief and trust in self is to challenge yourself through experiences through hardships through things in front of you that seem daunting but are actually really important to go after i saw this quote on tumblr hold on let me pull it up i think it will inspire a lot of you especially in sense of self and identity and taking on fear they said sorry to break it to you but you literally have to face your fears and slaughter them otherwise you will live a small life that you do not want you literally have to view your biggest fears and

attack them head on you have to fall into the abyss to find your way out the easy path does not exist there's no get out of jail free card you have to allow yourself to die a spiritual death over and over again in order to reinvent yourself into the person you are actually supposed to be and you have to be painfully honest with yourself and the people around you it's horrible but it's truly the only way thousand percent unfortunately it challenge really is the best thing life has to offer i feel like we are all chasing the soft core life this you know uh soft core soft girl whatever fucking life but in fact like you're chasing nothingness you know what I mean and sure challenge feels like the last thing you want to add to your card right now but it truly will

transform you and inform you on who you are in a way that nothing else will in this lifetime in a way that no friendship or experience or anything like that will you must challenge yourself the recent challenge that I put myself through was joining a gym class you're like oh Hannah that's so simple that's not a big challenge exactly they don't always have to be climbing Mount Everest you know it can be small changes in your life that are going to inform you on who you are now all of a sudden I am literally a Pilates princess I cannot go a week without Pilates like I start going insane it's crazy I never thought I'd be this person and I never would have discovered the side of myself if I didn't ask myself hey what do I need what do I want to try let me challenge

myself let me get there and then the biggest challenge is keep going and then understanding who I am through that now all of a sudden I know myself better I know my needs I understand that working out is good for me and there are healthy forms that I can involve myself in and I've found a renewed sense of self and life through it challenge yourself put yourself out there do those hard things the payoff will be so much more worth it than not doing it i love you i love you sense of self and identity comes through through experience not through psychological analysis of self but through experience and understanding of the world around you what's that meme it's like you chase identity while your soul rots inside you literally literally the outside doesn't matter

okay discover the inside desperately need to get laid it's getting bad girly pops girl if you don't go buy the rabbit wand 3000 and get to work oh that reminds me i need to email adam and eve i really want to get a code for you guys because i think my girlies need more sex toys do i go back to the guy that makes me feel like i'm alive or stay with my boyfriend help i think you'd be single oh wow if my boyfriend was asking like do i go back to my ex because she made me feel alive or do i stay with my girlfriend i'd be like please leave please no no your things are packed at the door actually please please leave not to make fun of you thank you for being open and asking your question a thousand percent I think questioning is an important part of living and experiencing

but also if you find yourself constantly chasing relationships and chasing this excitement in relationships you're gonna be burnt out and also you're gonna place a lot of your validity as a human on male experience and male acceptance and i don't know if that's a real way to live if i was asking this question i would say you need to be single set those men free set yourself free most importantly my boyfriend says he has no problem giving head but he never initiates it and i don't know how to bring it up oh a lot of head questions today fantastic this is what you do listen there's something very manly about looking a man in his eyes and going eat my pussy so like i get not wanting to verbalize that but like sometimes you just gotta say it you know

what i mean and sometimes men like it like that you know men like a bossy woman sometimes but sometimes you want to be like the pillow princess like i'm not gonna look my man in the eyes and say that and valid valid i hear you girls but also i think there's a very easy way to go about this if you want your pussy ate and you're like i know he will do it and do it well you know start making out start doing your little touchy feely stuff whatever once the clothes are off and you're on the bed literally just crawl up to his face like have him lay down as if he's about to get his dick sucked and then sit on his face simple simple men have no problem shoving their dick in your face you know what i mean like if they want head they will literally just take their pants off and shove

their dick in your face like not literally but also sometimes literally sometimes literally like they're not gonna like they'll ask sure that sounds a little crazy but also like sometimes it is that forward and i think women deserve that forwardness especially when it comes to sex you know like asking consent fantastic amazing we should include absolutely but also like if you know he has no problem with it and you know he would love to have you sit on his face like girl just crawl up there you know and also if you're a little nervous i think 69 is the best like like middle ground i love a 69 moment okay enjoy enjoy you deserve to get ate like a queen always how to break codependency with my partner as a bpd girly oh great question from the bpd

queen herself hi best pussy disorder hello um so i have been in very very codependent relationships in the past and that was something that I was aware of and I saw that it was a downfall of mine and I was getting into very toxic behavior so before I entered this relationship I really tried to be intentional about the way I went about it to not be as codependent and sure I went into it and as a BPD girly it's really hard to break that and just to not do it so it was something that I was actively working on in my relationship early on and I found as a BPD girly the best thing that my partner did for me to make sure that I was not codependent is he had a life outside of me and he had a very busy stacked life outside of me he skates he's always running around filming

stuff with the local skaters he is always out doing something he has a job he's working six days a week he's constantly out of the house he's constantly busy things like that he had a group of friends you know he'll play video games at the end of the day he has a group of friends he'll play video games with he has a group of friends that he'll go out to dinner with he is a very busy person and i found that the best thing that my partner did for me especially as a bp girly and to heal my codependency was to not solely rely on me as a form of entertainment okay the most codependent toxic relationships are the ones where people do not have something going on outside of them and only rely on their partner for every single human need possible that is too much of

a weight to put on your partner and I get being comfortable and wanting to spend all your time with them and wanting to be in romance land fantastic but we as humans need to have hobbies and a life outside of our partner that's how you heal codependency and also what I did for myself was I had a life outside of him I was very intentional about that even if it's not involving other humans because like I'm a little self-isolating in that way I was doing things I was going to classes I was finding new jobs I was picking up new hobbies I was doing new things that didn't involve him and really inspired me and encouraged my individuality he was busy I was busy but we were still able to come together at the end of the day and spend time together that

was enthralling and entertaining but it did heal the codependency because there was no time to be codependent also i think a very healthy straightforward line of communication is important for codependency when there's that weird gray middle ground codependency can be high with bpd people because we are constantly guessing and creating narratives we do not need the time to create narratives be forward with me be straightforward with me and tell me what the fuck is going on i also need to be straightforward and ask questions even if i feel crazy i need to be clear about my communication i need to be clear about my feelings i need to be clear about what i want in this relationship both of us having independent lives outside of each other and a

clear form of communication in between is what healed my codependency i think those things are very important to have in a relationship and they are what create a sustainable form of relationship is unquestionable we've been together for five years it does not feel like that it's not feel like that at all but time flies when you're having fun and not constantly panicking every moment of every day longest relationship i feel like i've ever had only lasted one and a half years and that felt like 10 years of my life because it was so toxic it was so codependent every day felt like a year your relationship should not feel like that you guys should be garnering your individually individuality outside of each other and then also celebrating and uplifting the relationship

through clear boundaries communication um together when you are together hey hannah i love you love you struggling to tell if my best friend right now is serving me or not please help the best way to have more positive relationships in your life is to understand that people are not here to serve you you know that whole like online discourse not really discourse online fad where was like it's just my world and you're living in it yeah that's the quickest way to lose people and build unhealthy relationships in your life fastest way ever relationships are not there to serve you they are not there to only function at a capacity that is good for you relationships are give and a take and it's okay if maybe if you feel like my best friend is a little distant right now

maybe we're not able to hang out as much right now and I miss her it's okay to identify and understand that feeling within yourself without having to be like well I'm cutting her off because she can't be the best amazing person ever for me right now okay it's okay to take a little space from your friends it's okay to not be able to keep up communication with your friends this is something that i've learned and the best way that i have maintained adult friendships in my life is to give people the time and space to be themselves however they want to be period that's what a best friend is for right they're supposed to accept you and love you no matter what they're supposed to provide space for you provide um uplifting support for you they're supposed to be there

for you when they can be but also we want them to be their own human being and show up as themselves fully that's what makes them your best friend right you don't want them to be your little pet that follows you around and only whispers good things in your ear no one can be that for you and if you hold people to that unreliable narrative and standard then you're not going to be able to build or keep worthwhile relationships now there is a question of like is this person being a bad person to me and in that case if they are being a bad person to you by continuously breaking boundaries saying hurtful negative things for you it's okay to also understand that and maybe take space away from them or you know cut them off as the kids say and remove them from your life I have

done that to people before yes but also I am a big proponent of understanding that people are not there to serve you people are not there to completely fulfill everything for you sometimes you got to do that on our own and sometimes our friends maybe are preoccupied with something a little bit more but if you're feeling that sadness in your heart and you're feeling that distance I say talk to them about it hey are you okay is there something going on are you busy like what's going on I want to hear from you I miss you that is a very valid thing to ask in a relationship and a very valid thing to ask especially in a friendship you will find more understanding in that question than you will in completely removing them from your life and in fact I think you'll

find a stronger relationship out of asking that question hey are you okay what's going on i haven't talked to you in a while i would love to hang out sometime let me know when you're free simple things like that and understanding that relationships are a give and take no one is here to fully serve you in this life we don't have court gestures in this life okay we got rid of those for a reason i feel really insecure every time my boyfriend follows a new girl what should I do well why is he following new girls uh-huh I'll go there I'll go there because I'm a crazy bitch actually I'm not even crazy I think it's okay to have boundaries in relationships specifically boundaries when it comes to interaction with other girls I'm also highly aware and understanding that

men should be able to and in fact I highly encourage men to have relationships with women that aren't inherently sexual i think it's a bigger red flag for men to only see women as sexual beings versus men having a girlfriend not not a girlfriend but a friend who is a girl do you know what i mean i think that is less of a red flag than men being like no i can't speak to any other women because i only see them sexually okay but also you as a girlfriend are able to have boundaries and say hey when you do this thing i don't like it it makes me feel weird it makes me feel like you're doing something shady and sure you can call me crazy or whatever oh my god i actually had a crazy girl moment should we talk about it should we talk about my crazy girl moment

i don't have a lot of these but occasionally the bpd will hit and i'll start like overthinking things and going a little bit too insane okay and like hyping myself up into like a thought process that is fully not based in reality I'm aware I understand that but if I keep that inside and I don't verbalize it like I'm gonna go more crazy than if I just ask it because like here's the thing and like thinking back I'm like this was such a silly moment because like hello obviously nothing was happening but I like walked into my boyfriend's office and he was on his phone and he immediately turned his phone over and flipped it he turned it off and flipped it over and i was like okay okay so what was that you know what i mean in my brain i was like well why the

why the fuck did he do that like oh my god like totally like normal human behavior started freaking myself out so i you know he went on playing his video games whatever i went to my room and was like well why is he doing this well does he not like me was he cheating on me like what's going on like what is he doing on his phone why do you flip it over like hyper analyzing these things finally he comes to lay down for bed and I'm like okay a I can keep this to myself I can keep my crazy to myself which I'm not good at doing or I can be bring it up because like what if something was going on why not just bring it up if I have a problem in my relationship even if it is not based in reality but I'm having a little bit of a crazy moment the best thing I can do for

my partner and to heal that part of myself is to just bring it up in the moment hey I saw this it made me feel this way I don't know if it's based in reality but I thought I would bring it up because it is something that I'm struggling with right now and I just wanted to ask you what was going on I would like for you to tell me why you did this period and if your man tries to go oh well you do this all the time and tries to flip it on you you know what you hit them with you hit them with the which he didn't obviously because he's a sweetheart but I have had men do this where it's like no gaslight flip it on you oh you want to blame me of something no i'm gonna blame you pause i am speaking at the podium right now if you have a problem with me you can bring

that up at another time but for right now i am literally holding the proverbial relationship mic i am on the stand and we are going to talk about a problem that i am having right now we are going to address it okay we are going to get to the bottom of it because i'm not feeling good about this thing. It doesn't mean I'm insecure. It doesn't mean I am not loving of myself or loving of you. I am just having an issue with one thing and you are my partner and I'm really hoping that you can help me work through why I may be feeling this sort of way or maybe provide me a little bit of reassurance. I think it's okay to ask your partner to provide you reassurance. If your man is following other women and it makes you feel weird, I think that is very normal for a human

to feel because why is that happening okay bring it up bring it up please please for the love of god bring that shit up to him ask him hey why did i just see you follow this person this person this person this person do you know them in real life like did you just make these friends like who are these friends you just met and if he tries to flip it on you no i'm holding the mic let's go over what i'm going over okay if you have a problem with me you can bring that up at a different time but right now it's my time to shine and we're going to talk about it if you hold boundaries in your relationship if you want to hold boundaries in your relationship you have to set those boundaries you have to bring them up and if he wants to follow them he can if he's a good boyfriend

he will but if he is a bad boyfriend and does not give a fuck you will notice in the future that he will keep doing these things and at that point after you've brought up your boundaries and how it makes you feel hey I don't want you following other girls randomly it makes me feel weird it makes me not feel good about myself it is stemming from a behavior that you are engaging in I understand if I'm crazy or whatever you want to blame me but that does not deny me of the feelings that I'm having as a human being boundary setting I would like for you to simply stop engaging in these behaviors following other women liking other women's posts things like that it looks bad on me as a woman as your girlfriend it looks bad on you it looks like you have a wandering

I and C you have to give it time see if he does those things again once you notice okay maybe he stopped doing these things I set a boundary he stopped doing those things thank you love you or I set a boundary he keeps doing them he doesn't give a fuck about my boundaries that's when you have to make a choice do I stay here and constantly have my boundaries broken and constantly have things that I don't like people engaging with happen in my life or do I move on and find somebody who will listen to me who will understand my feelings who will validate me and provide me reassurance and will listen to my boundaries it's a whole process i understand but you are allowed to feel things in your relationship you are allowed to hold your partner to boundaries okay

i literally brought this up to him i was like ah listen listen i know this is gonna sound crazy but if you call me crazy i'm gonna lose my shit on you i'm gonna lose it but i saw this thing it made me feel crazy i'm asking for reassurance immediately that man provided me reassurance i love you baby here's my phone if you want to look through it go for it whatever i don't want you to feel negative i didn't mean to make you feel negative about this thing i love you let's keep it pushing like it's not that deep but i hear you and i understand you but like i love you let's cuddle let's go to bed that's ultimately in my opinion how your partner should react i've been in relationships before where it's like hey i feel this way you're making me feel this way

and it completely gets flipped on me well i'm doing this because you do this well i'm doing this because it's your fault it's your fault you should feel bad it's your fault you should not be in a relationship that your partner does that to you at all at all okay i'm crazy my partner is also crazy but i'll hear him out when he has a problem a thousand percent and that's what your partner should do for you if you have a boundary in your relationship hold them to it okay i'm tired of these men getting away with weird shady shit ask them ask them okay what were you doing there who's this girl view the reaction make a necessary change if needed love you how to deal with a condescending co-worker that makes you feel stupid oh i know this is a one-liner that

I bring up a lot the wow what a weird thing to say to somebody but I like to hit people with that I have this co-worker who like every time I see her she will hit me with like a really mean condescending one-liner that I'm like oh wow that made me feel really negative and I don't know why you would say that out loud I walked into work on Friday and she saw me and I'm on I'm ovulating okay and when I'm ovulating I get neck acne and shin acne it's a part of life I'm a woman it is what it is bitch I'm 25 yes I get acne what hello who cares I walk into work she goes she looks takes one look at me she goes oh nice hickey I was like no actually it's neck acne thank you for pointing it out I was really hoping no one would notice she goes yeah well everybody's

gonna notice and everybody's gonna think it's gonna it's a hickey like what a weird thing to point out about somebody what a strange thing to say about somebody hmm what a weird thing to say and immediately as soon as I hit them with the one-liner of like wow why would you bring that up what a strange thing to say to somebody hmm thank you for pointing that out to me but I really did not need to hear that right now they immediately every time somebody says something wrong and then gets hit with one of those one-liners they immediately backtrack oh no no that's not what I meant you're taking too seriously you just gotta walk away you gotta walk away let them sit with the emotion but like I've met those bitches and you really just can't don't engage

don't engage all you got to do is hit them with the one-liners of like now why would you say that to somebody hmm what a strange thing to say what a weird thing to say out loud I know but you don't have to bring that up that's when they start going oh no no I didn't mean that you got to walk away I love a one-liner and walk away always someone said help I need to end it with my situationship for my own mental sanity any advice yes i have advice yes i have advice honestly proud of you thousand percent a lot of women find themselves in situationships constantly chasing a man that they know will never love them and constantly pining after this desire of wanting to be loved by something that truly will never love you and you will find yourself in a constant endless spiral

control of self-depreciating behavior and just negative thoughts and feelings and engaging in self-harming behavior yes sex can be self-harming behavior please understand that as a woman just because it feels good doesn't mean it's good for you always okay doesn't mean it's always good for you i think we know that but also i think a lot of people find themselves in situationships and be like well we're just hooking up well are you hooking up or is that self-harm oh oh anyways i think you need to be forward hey i've made it abundantly clear what i'm looking for i think i can only do a relationship right now i know you can't provide that for me please don't reach out again block end story literally literally i love a block and walk away i love uh here's how i'm

feeling here's what you did to me here's why I'm not doing it anymore goodbye I love that I'm also a little bit better at splitting just because I am a borderline queen but like as soon as you make that decision in your life it's pretty easy to move on once you make the hard decision of like I'm speaking what's on my mind you're gonna listen to me and then I'm also gonna just leave because i've already decided like don't speak in order to change someone's mind speak because of how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way and then move on block move on if you can't physically like mentally split as easy as other people physically split okay no contact blocking deleting pictures tell your friends i got rid of them do not bring them up things like that

things of the such and move forward with your life. I guarantee as soon as you send the message and don't do this in person, do not do this in person because best believe he still wants the free sex. He still wants all that shit and he will say whatever he can say in that moment to keep you there, to keep dragging you along. Text it, send the paragraph, send the message, whatever it is block delete move on as soon as you send those things and hit the block button I guarantee you will feel angel wings sprouting out of your back like you will feel like a renewed sense of self and identity and you will feel so proud of yourself it'll feel so nice and in fact as soon as you do that it's kind of like a literal it's like a literal split so you don't have to

mentally split but once you do those things you will feel such a weight off your shoulders um that physically i feel like you won't be able to go back sure you'll have thoughts about it but i don't think you will actually desire to because you will feel so proud of yourself so understanding of yourself like you've done a good thing for yourself finally that you won't want to jeopardize that standing that you now have with yourself your relationship with yourself is so important you must have trustworthiness with yourself forgiveness for yourself and desire to do better always so show up in whatever ways you need send those texts if you have to break up with those people if you need whatever you need to do to make yourself feel like a more actualized and

understanding person and like a more whole person like a more whole self then do those things immediately especially if you want a good relationship with yourself what's the freakiest thing a guy has ever asked you to do I don't know I really distance myself from the freaky freaks you know what I mean I really tried to like not engage with the weirdos I don't know I've never had any weird people where it's like please engage with my furry kink you know where it's like will you wear a tail nothing like that has ever happened nothing weird where it's like can you dress up for me um luckily i guess i've engaged with just pretty average men like that i don't know no no like real freaks biggest freak really ever is just my boyfriend right now um which like

i guess the craziest thing we've ever done is like anal i don't know which honestly isn't that crazy and in fact did love did enjoy hot take for the women out there i understand men always pressure like oh we should really do anal we should really do anal if you don't want to you do not have to and if a man is pressuring you to do anything please for the love of god leave please because he feels like he has autonomy over your body and that's the biggest red flag out there okay no man should ever feel like they have a priority and autonomy over your body ever ever ever okay anyways um he definitely like went about it in a very professional manner in a way that i felt safe and comfortable and i did experiment quite often in that realm and i did enjoy you gotta go

slow you gotta go slow maybe start with a bub plug maybe stretch it out a little bit um but if you feel like you're in a safe space and you feel like you and your partner can get a little freakier than usual and you want to try new things out oh my god highly highly highly recommend that's what sex is for that's what having a good partner is for like let's explore let's see what turns each other on let's get a little crazy you know what i mean but yeah nothing like really really weird or kinky or wild like maybe handcuffs maybe body oil maybe oh bondage tape that's fun but like nothing like crazy crazy i think in my opinion but also like i say that stuff and i think a lot of people are like no that's wild i'm just like i have a lot of friends who are very sexual in

nature um i have a lot of sex worker friends and it's like the things i hear from them i'm like whoa but i think for the average human like what i do is also a little crazy someone said please to all my bestie kira i think that's her name kyra kira i think it's kira jody says hi we love you and your pod hey babe i love all the friends who listen to the podcast together that is so cute i've been getting a lot of people who are like my bestie put me on to you hey hopefully you guys can listen together and enjoy someone said how do i be your level of pretty okay let's get into it let's get into it let's get into it because i was an ugly duckling for a long long long long time and nothing physically changed about me at all at all from when i was an ugly

duckling to now where everybody's like oh my god you're gorgeous you're amazing you're sexy you're hot i love you which thank you thank you for those compliments you guys are so genuinely sweet I appreciate every single one of those nothing physically has changed for me to get me from ugly duckling to this nothing I haven't had any surgery done I really haven't like physically changed that much especially from like working out I've noticed a little bit now after doing Pilates but that's like within the last month okay nothing has physically changed about me but everything internally has changed about me everything the way I think about myself the way I present myself to the world the standards that I hold myself to the way that

I think about myself and appreciate myself and uphold my self-worth that is the true beauty that is what got me from ugly duckling to hottie mccotty fat titty fat ass baddie instagram baddie lovely hot girl that's what got me there how I feel about myself and how I uplift if uplift myself is what got me out of that ugly duckling phase you do not need those lip fillers you do not need those boob implants you do not need that lipo you do not need the quick fix the quickest fixed and the thing that will make you the most beautiful is genuinely how you feel about yourself and how you engage in self-talk and how you uphold your standards sure in the way you dress and whatever blah blah blah but ultimately if you want to glow it's not from the outside it's from the inside out

okay i genuinely believe once my mindset shifted and i was like you know what actually i am hot you know what actually i am a baddie i don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks about me i don't care if anybody nobody's ever dated me I looked in that mirror and I stopped calling myself ugly we talked about this a couple podcasts ago where it's like you create your own narrative okay I stopped calling myself ugly I stopped calling myself fat I stopped calling myself worthless I stopped looking in the mirror and hating what I saw and I started switching the narrative even if I was maybe feeling those things internally I would not verbalize them I switched the narrative okay you know what no I am hot no I am sexy I am deserving of love I'm the baddest bitch who's ever

walked this fucking earth okay i am aphrodite reincarnated once i started verbalizing those things to myself and i started believing them and i started actually holding boundaries and actually having self-worth and understanding that i'm deserving of good things and going after those things building trust in myself building forgiveness in myself wanting to grow and develop as a human being that's when i became beautiful okay that is true beauty all the most beautiful people i know the sexiest people i know the most confident people i know are not the kylie jenner's they're not the physical quote-unquote societal embodiment of beauty but they are an otherworldly kind of beauty that money cannot buy because it simply comes from

self-belief and self-confidence period none of them look look alike none of them have the same body none of them have the same hair color none of them look alike whatsoever and that truly is what true beauty is is the fact that none of us are going to be the same or look the same ever and that is what true beauty is i love that i love that we are all so individual i think there's beauty and individuality but the true glow that you experience from these people are from this work that they have done on themselves internally are from the confidence that they hold within themselves that stems from the narrative that they've created around themselves of no I am beautiful no I am gorgeous no I am loved because I love myself I'm confident because I don't need

what other people say about me because I know I'm worthy of good things I'm full of self-love because I provide myself with everything I desire and need I think a great way to enact this in your daily life is yes to not engage in self-depreciating talker behavior what you speak becomes your reality no matter what sometimes we like to say these uh i want to die jokes i'm ugly jokes but like you will truly start believing that we are more susceptible than we actually think those jokes are not funny at all but i think the best way and i talked about this a little bit on the patreon pod um which is public on youtube as you guys know the most recent one um but i do think you need to date yourself a little bit if you don't know how to garner that self-love within

or that self-confidence or that trust within a challenge yourself like i talked about earlier but b i think you need to date yourself i think dating yourself is so important the most important relationship that we hold in this lifetime is the one that we have with ourself we are born alone well kind of but we most definitely will die alone that's for sure the only person that we are going to have from beginning to end is ourselves the most important relationship that you build in this lifetime is the one that you have with yourself and to garner a good relationship with yourself self-talk is important challenging is important but you need to build that love within and if you do not know how to love yourself that is a huge issue okay how come

you know how to love everybody else but yourself that is a big problem pisces full moon lunar eclipse why do you love everybody else more than yourself why do you constantly want to exist in other people's lives to be good in other people's lives but you refuse to be good in your own it's a big problem we're seeing nowadays you will never find self-worth through somebody else but you will always find self-worth through yourself okay take yourself out on a date tell yourself you're beautiful tell yourself you look sexy in that dress oh my god i'm gonna dress up for a special occasion with myself i'm gonna go try that new restaurant by myself i'm gonna go out dancing by myself i'm gonna lather myself in body oil and speak positive affirmations to

myself i do that once a week and in fact it is fantastic 10 out of 10 recommend the glossier body oil it smells like fresh jasmine oh it's so good i go to bed like slicked like that baby hippo that you see on tiktok you guys see that tiktok the little baby hippo with his feet like like that and he's look he's always oiled up for some reason that's me when i go to bed and i feel like a goddess every single time because i am speaking positivity into myself i'm taking care of myself i'm being that dream girl who does all those dream things because i'm doing them i'm holding myself to those standards and i'm achieving them i'm dating myself i'm adorning myself i'm speaking highly of myself only and always that is where true beauty comes from I love you you're all

so very beautiful and gorgeous even if you don't believe it about yourself I am saying it now you are all so beautiful and so gorgeous and you deserve a good healthy positive relationship with yourself you deserve to glow just as much as me but I'm not going to sit here and say it came from beauty treatments or you know certain things that you have to buy or inject or enhance about yourself I'm telling you right now it comes from belief understanding and love for yourself and it's gonna be a hard journey but it's gonna be the most worthwhile journey that you have ever taken in your life quality of life skyrocketed for me once I just started shifting my relationship with myself and I started realizing you know what no matter what I look like I deserve to be loved

especially by myself that's when I became beautiful but I love you all so much this was a fun little episode I miss hanging out with you guys every time I hang out with you I just give me such like a renewed sense of self and life and it's so nice I love that we've created this community where it's like you know what fuck the noise we're gonna come here we're gonna have a good time. Let's smoke a bowl. I haven't smoked a bowl with you guys in a while just because like recently when I've been smoking my brain's been shutting down. Usually when I smoke I can step into that creative space but I have been cutting back on smoking actually recently. Surprise surprise. I just cannot keep up with it like I used to. My brain cannot keep up with it like I

used to. I also feel like I used to smoke so often just to kind of drain the noise and I was smoking like at 11 a.m until 11 p.m every single day that is just not sustainable not a sustainable way to live I was checking out from life and I do want to engage in life a little bit more and I do want like to get high and enjoy the experience instead of just like tuning out the noise so it's actually late enough in the day we can smoke a little bowl but I've been kind of pushing it backwards like okay maybe I'll smoke a bowl at three and then maybe I'll smoke a bowl at six and then maybe be able to take a dab at nine and then I'll go to bed versus a bowl every 30 minutes from 11 till 11. That's a problem. That was a problem. Not anymore. Thank God. Who knows? Maybe I'll

develop a better relationship, have some more days off and I'll be able to engage in that sort of way. But for now, sometimes you got to listen to your body and listen to what you need and what you want and engage in that healthy direction. I see it. I saw it. I feel it. You got to change it up sometimes but with that being said let's smoke a bowl and then we'll say our goodbyes all right cheers let's hit this love you all stay sexy believe in yourself love yourself you're hot and you know it i'll see you all next week you