Smoke Sesh - hustle culture hater, people pleasing & young adulting

Episode Date: May 3, 2022

Happy Tuesday everyone! So excited to finally be back and hanging out with you all, missed you so much. Today we talk everything hannah’s been up to and vacation, visiting a weed farm, LA, hustle culture & why I hate it, young adulting and how to, body confidence in bikini season, getting ish done, people pleasing, lung health & much much more. Remember to submit all questions to Instagram @ hannahmarlene and I’ll see you Thursday ! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Oh my gosh, we're back everybody! how are we all doing i miss this so fucking much honestly um i have been busy busy busy busy busy

as you all know um and if you don't follow the instagram do so right now at hannah marlene i post updates about the podcast on there if you were like what the f there's no podcast this week what's happening i posted an update there um i went on vacation i know i haven't had a vacation since like last june quite honestly i have just been working and working and working and having a lot of fun throughout the process um but i finally took a break took a much needed break um i even like thought like okay well maybe while i'm on vacation i'll just record a podcast and do it there like as much as I want to sit down because like sitting down with you guys and talking and hanging out like genuinely it makes my week like I have so much fun doing this and

I hope you guys have fun too um which I'm assuming you guys are because so many people join every week and so many of you guys are coming back thank you so much for that um but I'm a little worker bee I'm a workaholic and as much as I wanted to you know sit down and work while on vacation um I chose not to because sometimes we gotta set little boundaries with ourself you know what I mean um we're gonna get into that a little bit and what I mean and why I hate hustle culture in a little bit but I thought I'd update you guys on my vacation because I've been gone for a while um I went to LA as you guys know I've been talking about it um in the previous podcast just preparing updating you guys on what's gonna happen um but yeah I went to LA

for just like a little weekend trip just went out there to have fun lay on the beach smoke some good weed and I did all of that um I just we flying stresses me out flying stresses me out I think the biggest like adult accomplishment that you can really do is feel peaceful at the airport I do not ever feel peaceful at the airport we well I worked the night before I left like I said I I'm hustle until I die quite honestly um I worked the night before I left and I was bartending so that means I worked like an eight hour shift and I got off at like 11 I was not in bed till like 12 30 okay this is important because my alarm went off at 2 30 a.m 2 30 because our flight leaves at 5 we pick ourselves up pull ourselves together head to the airport we get there we got like 30

minutes to go through tsa before our flight takes off i literally have never seen a line this long at the airport at 5 fucking a.m but everybody was there and we were like 15 minutes until we bored so we were like holy shit we don't know if we're gonna make it to la we're gonna start off this uh trip with a little bit of stress just a slight bit um and my boyfriend is so sweet because this happened a little a couple times where we were just like fuck i don't know if we're gonna make it through tsa because we are just really bad about arriving early listen i'm a stoner i can't lie i'm just late i'm a late person um and so yeah well we made it on the plane but holy shit we it took forever to get through tsa anxiety at a all-time high but we made it even they were

like you're a little late we don't know if your bags are gonna make it to the fucking place and we were like whatever just send it we gotta get on the airplane we get on the airplane we make it to to la we get our bags we go straight to fucking get some breakfast we had incredible food while we were there um some things that i would definitely recommend is we jam in it's a uh breakfast and lunch and dinner jamaican spot we went specifically for breakfast the best breakfast sandwich i've fucking ever had oh my god loved it and you know i'm a breakfast slut okay i've talked about this before i will forever be a breakfast slut um i if you ever offer me any sort of food to eat i'm always gonna pick breakfast food and this breakfast food was so fucking good

if you're from la go check it out um we got tacos while we were there of course street tacos the best fucking shit ever quite honestly you can't go wrong with like any tacos there but specifically one we went to last time and when we went back to was uh brother's cousin's tacos um so good so good there's nothing better than just eating tacos off the back of your car smoking a joint at like 11 o'clock at night like that is peak existence for me right there um tacos we had korean barbecue korean barbecue is the best in la because you guys have all you can eat where i'm from we don't they don't offer the all you can eat version so each plate is like 20 fucking dollars for like one cut of meat and it's like this is just like not worth it so we went and we got

korean barbecue one night super late and we were there for like two and a half hours having so much fun drinking soju grapefruit soju for the win um always always always if i'm drinking honestly i'm usually drinking soju like that is my preferred way to drink um got super fucked up there hanging out having fun there was like this group of armenian guys sitting next to us and they were real drunk singing along to all the music i like that korean barbecue there is like um it's not like a diner like people aren't there to have like an experience it's more so like a uh like a night club but also yours cooking meat in front of you and just hanging out chit chat and like there's no rush you're there for a while um but there are these armenian guys sitting next to us

and my boyfriend has a really long hair and so they finally came up to us and were like how much to cut your hair so my boyfriend and they started at 500 and they were like okay a thousand two thousand it got all the way up to five thousand my boyfriend just likes to say no so he just was wanting to see how high up they get but they got up to like five thousand dollars they were willing to spend on shaving my boyfriend's head he did not because oh my god maybe if we had a few more days i'd be like okay go for it but no we only had a few days there in la all the fucking good food and also as you guys know the best fucking weed ever okay the best i i'm gonna have to move to la in one year you'll because i just signed a lease for somewhere in

kansas city um the universe kind of blessed me and is giving me my apartment on my birthday june 1st i know i'm moving on my birthday it's crazy how that works the universe was like chill out bitch i will deliver um but yeah i'm signing a one year lease here so i i probably won't move for a while but at least in a year i mean my whole experience there was just i have to get back i have to move there i meant to be in la and i know a lot of people kind of shit on la and they're like this place sucks there's too much traffic there's too much going on but literally like as someone coming from the midwest i love that shit i love that everybody's constantly out doing something it could be one o'clock two o'clock three a.m people are still out they're

moving they're grooving they're doing what they need to do the weed incredible it's legal and it's been legal for a while so there's always good deals you can find I feel like where I'm from it's legal of course but it is recently legal so the dispo prices are still like higher than what the street prices would be now in la the dispo prices compete with the street street prices and we got some really good shit last time we went well we went to the same dispo that we went to last time love 10 out of 10 it's la wonderland please go they're a women-owned operated wonderful place okay the best we'd have ever fucking had we got like five pre-rolls for like 30 bucks okay we got we were getting like eights for like 20 incredible deals i still have one

pre-roll with me it's called like black mamba or something i also got like get high for ukraine little joints so that was really good it was an indica what else did we get hold on i gotta look it up okay so we got jaw candy which was great it was a sativa daytime sativa holy shit um we got wakanda which was also super yummy um daytime sativa again and then frosted cookies which was a uh indica i believe but loved all of that and we kind of at the very end of it kind of ran into the same situation we did last time where it's like holy shit we have all this weed we either smoke it all before we get on the plane and are just like belligerently high going through tsa or we just hand it out to people so last time there were these like skater kids and they were

like just hanging out behind a sandwich shop my boyfriend went up to him like do you want this pipe and like this eighth and they were like so fucking happy like of course and then we gave them to some homeless guys this this time like whatever we just need to get rid of this weed they're gonna have a good time um so yeah but we smoked a shit ton like we only had like basically two three days but we smoked so much weed and also another thing i love about la wonderland is well since they knew we were from out of town they gave us this little like goodie bag so it had like a little throwaway pipe in there it had like a little grinder and they gave us a free pre-roll and then a few lighters i was like perfect love like they knew and it didn't cost us anything

they just knew we're from out of town we had no way to smoke this throw in a little goodie bag in there love la wonderland go check it out my stickers are all over the parking lots if you find them take a photo for me tag me um stickers in march are dropping in a week also a little teaser but I'm still getting that worked out I can't wait for you guys to see it but the weed love it that's like honestly the main reason I'm like I need to get out to LA is simply for the weed um also I had the okay when people are like well what was your favorite part of LA this this was it um one afternoon well we went to the beach in the morning uh we went to Malibu love malibu el matador beach love 10 out of 10 i've been there many times i think it's a great

little private beach little rocky um spent a lot of time there and then we packed our shit up and we headed about 50 minutes north to oxnard and it was a little different than the la i was used to i haven't really gotten out of la into any of the surrounding areas of california so we made it through Malibu and then we kind of hit this farm country and I was like oh like this is I recognize this my little midwestern heart recognizes the farm the fields but it was different because it was all greenhouses and I was like this is a different way of farming than I know that I have ever seen before and I'm like I squint and I look a little closely all weed plants thousands upon thousands upon thousands of weed plants we're just driving by like so many

and i had the wonderful privilege of getting to go do a little private tour of paz pac's farm they invited me up and with the little time we had i was so excited to go and i gotta meet the owner and i got to meet the head grower which was fucking insane it was just me and my boyfriend and them and um their girlfriend who does i think most of the social media work which is incredible and they literally gave us a private tour of the entire um process these plants are these people's fucking babies okay he was like when it rains i worry when it's too sunny i worry like these are my children they and they were because these plants are the most beautiful plants that i have ever seen they were telling me the care they put into it um making sure all the dead leaves are

trimmed off the bottom and they do that very often so then it's more concentrated up at the top you know they don't need to the plants don't need to extend extra energy to places that aren't necessary and by doing so you get like the highest quality bud and hemp and oh my god it was insane just looking at one aisle of plants compared to the other because like you'll look at one side if you look at my instagram at hannah marlene i posted a picture of me standing in the plants and if you look on the left side they're like very dark bigger fuller leaves and plants and then if you look on the right side it's very light um skinnier leaves the plants are like maybe a slightly taller and it's crazy how like the different strains the plants look completely different so they were

showing me all the baby plants they were showing me how they trim they were telling me that they also like use some of the byproducts from what they aren't drying and using for flour and um oils they sometimes sell off to people so they were like yeah some guy comes in here and buys stuff to make pizza dough hemp pizza dough or you know fabrics anything like that so it's incredible how they they use the full plant these quality is insane paz packs put so much energy and effort into simply making good products and that has been like very clear to me since i started working with them um i don't work with people that i'm like no you guys are just this is a money grab like i don't really give a fuck you know but past packs the passion and the authenticity and the need for

like good products has very much so been prevalent since i first started working with them and being able to step foot and see that firsthand was just mind-blowing mind-blowing because as you guys know I'm a bartender and I told them this. But as a bartender, especially in a place where CBD and weed is legal, I have a lot of like business guys come in late night drinking and then they find out that I know stuff about weed. And I have a bunch of people come in who are like CBD store owners or THC store owners, company owners. And they're like, well, here's a bunch of products. Look at them how do you like them is it good products like test it out like they're trying to get my opinion on it and every single time someone sits down at my bar and does this which has been at

least three four times i just in the back of my head i'm like this is shit like quite honestly nothing compares to paz packs they'll be like we put five years into this packaging and design and we get the best highest quality flower and they push it over the bar towards me and i'm like this is shit this looks like trash this is a trash pipe like what are you handing me like nothing compares to paz packs and also oh my god they showed me the drying room like giant stems of fresh flower they gave me like three day old like freshly picked harvested flower um fresh cbd they gave me like a bunch of carts they even are testing out a new thc zero cart which for me was a higher tolerance i love this one because i hit it and like 30 minutes later

it kind of came on like an edible like it hit me a little harder um later on in the day and it was funny because we were standing in the little office and we were like um do you guys want to hit like can i try these out like please smoke with us and they were like we gotta finish work and I was like so sorry I am on vacation mode I get it thank you for bringing me here but they were so lovely it was incredible also being able to meet the guy who grows these plants because you can tell the passion and the energy that he puts into these like these quite literally are his babies like he needs these to succeed he needs these to do well and it shows because the product that i receive i mean after going through the growing and the trimming and the drying process

the stuff i receive at home like probably months later is still incredible is still wonderful so please please please if you are ever interested in any cbd products you already know code smoke sesh for 10 off your order um but paz packs has been incredible to me they have been so kind and caring they have supported me when no one else has supported me and they have supported me from the beginning I think they're the first people I ever worked with um when I was starting on TikTok and obviously I have loved them consistently throughout the years enough to take them with me and I'm just so thankful for the opportunities they have given me and yeah I just want everybody to know the wonderful wonderful world of Paz Pax but if you're interested in like what it looks

like and all the all the um plants i took a bunch of pictures and they're on my instagram at hannah marlene so check it out and show pazpacks a little bit of love um because they have shown us this podcast me tenfold the amount of love so code smoke sash 10 off you already know um what else beach incredible so relaxing i got a little bit of a sunburn which was wonderful our airbnb was adorable um like all the doors opened up so we could sleep with the doors open at night and have like a fresh breeze and it was right next to this beautiful like spanish style pool and literally when i say this was a fairy house i mean it they had like little figurines hiding throughout the garden they had like fresh produce in a garden in their front yard they had like little gnomes

and like cactus gardens it was adorable i love airbnb specifically because it's like you get a little bit of that homey feeling you know i'm not a huge fan of hotels i can't lie um yeah but love airbnbs love the beach loved even like the traffic traffic wasn't too bad i feel like the traffic is very similar to uh the midwest it's just more people you know what i mean um but i feel like a lot of people go to LA and they just complain oh I hate the people oh I hated this I hated this it's so fake and it's like yeah LA definitely can be that way like shit cannot be fun for sure I think it's all about what you surround yourself with and who you surround yourself with and what your goals are because like yeah if my goal was to go to LA and do influencer work and well

i did do a little influencer work i can't lie but past hacks love them that was incredible it was that was like top 10 life moments right there um but like if you're going to go meet up with other influencers or other people who are going to be a little fake or if you're going to like nobu or any of those like places like yeah shit's gonna be a little not fun i can't lie and as somebody who doesn't like to hinder themselves or like fake themselves in any way i avoid that for a reason and I had a lot of fun I had a lot of fun um just driving around seeing all the wonderful nature everything in LA is just like beautiful also the apartments the uh the houses the cars the people like it's all beautiful so yeah 10 out of 10 trip it's funny when you get back from

like vacation though and you're like 10 times more tired than when you left I feel like we were just running running running running around the whole time we were there which is the goal you know get as much stuff as you can done but yeah loved it it was just what I needed it made me a little hungrier for myself it made me want to work harder it made me kind of set some goals that I didn't realize I wanted to set um so yeah I think it was very productive very eye-opening and you know what i'm glad i didn't work i can't lie i am i'm glad i didn't work and i was able to soak up and enjoy every single moment that i was there because you know you only get one life you only get one chance to enjoy that moment why would i spend it doing work you know anyways not me

checking zillow for apartments in la every single day and here's the thing i don't think i would live like in the city i can't lie i don't know if i would go deep into the city i'd probably go valley or like um santa monica area and holy shit is it expensive but i just feel like it would be so worth it quite honestly for my mental health like being able to walk five blocks to the beach and then go sit by the beach and have our little earth cafe coffee and pastry and chill and relax was like love i want to be able to do that every single day you know what i mean but you guys we got some exciting things coming for the podcast soon i want to update you guys a little bit before we jump into today's uh topics so many of you guys have sent me questions thank you so much

um but merch coming soon stay tuned give me one to two more weeks and then i'll drop that you gotta be following my instagram at hannah marlene um for the drop it is a limited drop um and it will be a pre-order so when you purchase it you it will be one to two weeks before it will ship to you because um i gotta order the hoodies and then also i am hand printing them so everything will be hand printed by me everything's hand designed by me the logo the imagery everything i mean other than sewing the literal hoodie i did not do that um but everything else will be hand done by me um as well as i'm going to be releasing a patreon soon hopefully at the beginning of june um may is going to be our little growth area i feel like may is a great month for just

like taking the time to go through the processes of change and growth and preparing for that as well um i'll be moving in june so i'm going to be spending most of may just collecting for my future home and so i can move in on my birthday and have basically everything but also around that time i'll be dropping a patreon so things that i'm thinking will be going on the patreon are like um extra special video podcasts um extra special smoke sessions either it's live or personal um monthly newsletters as well as weekly journal prompts um also like little strategies for doing things such as like um i have two ebooks so i'm thinking about putting those on the patreon as well so many other good stuff but it's going to be a great community for members

um so stay tuned more information coming out on that soon hopefully i still got to set all that shit up but i'm very excited because i want to expand this podcast i want to expand what we're doing i want to make this more so a community more interactive and i think patreon quite honestly is the best place to do so it just gives me a lot more freedom than any other social media platform quite honestly because i can't put my videos on youtube or else they'll be demonetized because you can't smoke um but patreon patreon supports smoking so love that um so that's what's coming up i move on my birthday very excited about that it's almost gemini season very excited about that um but this fucking solar eclipse not solar eclipse lunar eclipse has been driving me quite

honestly insane um and Taurus season is reminding me how much I really need to um um you know honor myself when it comes to relaxing okay honor myself when it comes to enjoying my time Tauruses they are planners they are understanders they are hard workers but there is nothing they know better oh my god there's nothing they know better than relaxation and how to enjoy your time okay they are pros at it luxury living life they know how to do it and i am as a gemini and as somebody who is constantly running away from her thoughts and anxiety and needs to work in order to do so um i'm being reminded how much i really do need to be grounded or else I'm going to run myself into the ground I'm tired of girl bossing okay I want

to be girl laying down I want to be girl sleeping I want to be girl napping okay I'm tired of the girl bossing I want to enjoy my time and I feel like hustle culture specifically I think my issue with hustle culture stems from college and high school where I was constantly just put to do more work more work more work no matter if it was good enough there was no stopping as well as what I like to call your mother's daughter syndrome which is the syndrome in which you're like but it's not good enough but it's not good enough let's do it again let's do it again but what if I did this um never taking the moment to just appreciate where you are now and enjoy it and honor and celebrate your successes so it was really hard for me to step away from this podcast for a week

it was really hard I don't think I've ever stepped away from this podcast for a whole week I think I've at least released one episode a week um if not usually two since I started so forcing myself to step away and take a break was so fucking hard especially because this is something I enjoy um this isn't really a toxic work environment um like I have a lot of fun here you guys make it a lot of fun to do so um and I I think I it's been very fun because I've set very clear boundaries with you guys since I started in which I am like I love you I love myself as well and I also need to prioritize myself and although I want to overwork and overexert myself I cannot and I honor you guys in that way and so I need the same respect reciprocated to me as well so thank you

guys for being so chill and understanding with this and honoring me and giving me that week to kind of just like enjoy my life a little bit and enjoy my successes and have a good time on vacation thank you guys so much you have no idea how much that means to me because I was totally stress-free like stress-free the entire vacation thank god but the hustle culture and the grind culture has been so prevalent within our and the girl boss culture I guess has been so prevalent especially recently because i feel like the whole energy of our capitalistic society has just been overexerted like tenfold like they want us to work work work work work and if it wasn't due to being paid not enough i wouldn't have to have multiple streams of income i wouldn't have to

hustle i wouldn't have to do any of this i'd be able to work one job and enjoy it and afford everything i need to but unfortunately that's not the society we live in so a lot of people have romanticized their lives in a way to make um feeling that overwhelmed feeling of having to work so much work in their favor and i think that's where hustle culture has originated from but it's not sustainable it's not a sustainable way of working it's not a sustainable way of treating yourself, you are going to end up just completely depleted, okay? And worried that you are always lacking in effort or productivity. I will work and work and work and it will never be enough because in my head, in that hustle culture mindset, I am just like, but there's more. But

what am I not doing? But where can I go? And it is just exhausting to constantly like think that way and treat yourself that way you deserve to find ways to live a balanced life without the pressure and the burnout that comes with unrealistic ideals sometimes you can't live up to people's expectations sometimes you can't overwork yourself sometimes you can't get things done in a timely manner and that's okay but you need to accept that and honor it or else you are just gonna feel like you're nothing okay there's been many times where i have to um like basically enjoy being overworked to the point that it sacrifices my well-being and i would do so in the name of hustle culture in the name of girl bossing um and then i would finish my job and go home and cry because i'm

just so overwhelmed so stressed and nothing is worth that feeling nothing is unfortunately as much as I love this podcast it was it was not gonna be worth me taking six hours out of my 38 hour trip to film a podcast miss out on things I was doing miss out on opportunities just to come back and do two more okay that in my eyes was not worth it I love you guys I love doing this but I do need to rest and relax and you do too okay I think the reason I succeeded so well in art school a place where hustle culture is the only culture okay you are creating incredible brilliant pieces of artwork in eight hours I would literally go to school and they'd be like here is quite honestly a week-long project I need it done before you get in class at three

o'clock tomorrow and it's like great I have no other option but to do this and here's the thing it doesn't end there after that's done even if you did it the best even if it's the most incredible thing your professor has ever seen there's another assignment there's another thing to be done and I think the thing I succeeded with the most there and where I think some people had a hard time was simply setting boundaries with myself so the work that I was like you know what this assignment's kind of bullshit I know I'm not going to do a great job on it um also I have five other things to do you know what i'll take the sacrifice i'll fuck this one up a little bit i'll do it i'll get it done but i need to prioritize myself and my time and my energy

and my mental well-being and that assignment was never going to be worth my mental health because if anything me putting more into that assignment in order to get a better grade was not going to make my mental health any better it was probably going to make it tenfold worse okay let me read this for you some days the brave thing is to stay in bed and rest allowing yourself to recover even when your anxiety tells you you are worthless if you don't get up resisting that pressure that will only put your health at risk and taking care of yourself to avoid more pain and burnout is brave too it takes courage to confront the fact that you can't live up to extremely high expectations and that you need rest in a society that places so much value

and being and being productive to the detriment of your health if you can please allow yourself to take time off and to recover remember that there is courage in tending to yourself when everything else tells you that you shouldn't prioritize yourself prioritize your rest okay prioritize you know what simply doing nothing okay literally doing nothing prioritize that because even in the realm of let's get out of the realm of work even in the realm of healing when i don't allow myself times of rest during my healing journey i don't get shit done okay you don't have to be healing every day you don't have to be checking off goals every day on a to-do list you don't have to be hustling and building every day you don't have to push every day you

have the right to just be okay to just simply be you were born to experience leisure joy rest enjoy your life enjoy simply being who you are in that present moment and i think i even had a little bit of a hard time doing that on vacation and i hope i take another vacation soon so i can prioritize that a little bit more because I do have a hard time simply being and experiencing and doing so in the present moment without feeling overwhelmed from what I need to do or what happened in the past I think that's something I really do need to practice but in the realm of healing and hustle sometimes you don't have to be working on it okay sometimes the best thing that you can do for yourself is to simply enjoy and learn how to enjoy and learn how to enjoy in the

present moment so it's something I'm still working on it's something I'm still battling with I am very excited to be here I don't think I do this podcast in any sort of a negative way I think it does bring me a lot of accomplishment and fulfillment within my own personal life and I really appreciate you guys being here and supporting me throughout it but if you needed a little reminder like a little end of semester reminder a little end of the year pre-summer reminder if you need to set intentions for this summer maybe your intentions need to be just enjoying and simply being and experiencing because that is what we're born to do we're not born to work we're not born to fucking die we're born to experience the world the people the enjoyment around ourselves

So I think if I'm going to set any goals for this summer, it's to simply enjoy and to experience and to let myself simply exist. Because sometimes it gets a little hard to do anything outside of that. So honor yourself. Take that break if you need it, okay? Girlbossing is hard and it's toxic and we don't need to be doing it anymore. release the urges of accomplishment and sometimes just allow yourself to have those moments anyways setting boundaries with yourself who would have thought that would have to be a thing right but holy shit do i like to go against myself quite honestly sometimes you really just have to tell yourself just to fucking sit down chill out enjoy you know what i mean and

if you don't set those boundaries for yourself nobody else is going to quite honestly nobody else gives a fuck so step in especially when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed stress step in take those moments to really just like step away from yourself and just relax okay you don't always got to be working on something now i've been gone for a week so we have a lot of questions to get into like a lot which is great because we got two episodes this week we're back to our regular regularly scheduled programming all right two times a week hopefully all summer for the rest of the summer um yeah but let's dive in hi i'm from utah my name is also hannah um anyways i was wondering like how do I become a good young adult I guess because right now I'm kind of

in the phase of like graduating high school and trying to get off on my own um as well as attending college um just so it's hard you know because I like moved here two years ago and socializing has been kind of meh and I just need advice on how to like I don't know find more social groups or like even like places to go and such anyways um yeah love that there's a fellow Hannah listening shout out to my Hannahs um but you you're asking like what is good young adulting and I feel like mostly young adults listen to this podcast so this is a great little reminder because in my head like especially graduating uh college I was like or not college graduating high school I was like okay I'm gonna graduate high school and then I'm gonna go to

college and then I'll graduate college at like what 21 and I'll have it all figured out and everything will work and I'll be perfectly fine after college and I'll just be an adult right no that sounds so fucking easy but like i didn't graduate college but i'm 22 i've passed the uh you know the mark for when you're supposed to graduate and all the people that i see graduating that i went to high school with don't know shit about the world around them because they're still in a academic um environment they're still a little protected when you're in college shit's already set up for you you aren't figuring shit out for yourself and you're barely even adulting at that point because you probably don't really have a whole steady job like you are more so to

get a salary out of college um so when i was younger i think key to this is when i was younger i thought that by the time you know i graduated 21 22 i should have it figured out right i should be good to go i should have all the adult stuff down wrong that is not how that shit works i am still figuring it out and i'm allowing myself to figure it out as well because i think being a good young adult doing something good for yourself especially like or well i don't know where i'm going with this but to be a good young adult is simply to experience okay and like you said you need more fun things to do you need more social circles get out there and experience the world around you go try new things go try new clubs go to a new area go on a little trip anything that

you can do go do it especially if you're in college and you have a lot of like leeway with your time you have spring breaks you have summer breaks you know you're maybe not working go do shit. All right, go try it out. This is the time for you to discover yourself. Um, I talked about this a little bit with my boyfriend the other day, especially just like the whole existential dread of call or not college high school and mental health. And if there's one thing I could really tell young people, especially high schoolers, or people who are in their teenage years, you're not insane okay you're not insane when I was younger I had the most severe case of depression the most severe case of anxiety everything at an all-time high and it kind of

was worsened by the idea of I wanted to go out there and do stuff and be an adult but when you're in high school and when you're a teenager unfortunately that's just not an option all Right. You're still having to, you know, figure out the rest of your, you know, teenage years. You got to finish high school. You're still living under your parents rules. So you don't have a lot of leeway with that. And I think it's OK for simply you to accept that. OK. And enjoy the time that you do have under those conditions just while you can. because once you hit once you hit college and if you don't go to college once you hit like a little bit of your like early adult age that's when you experience the world that's when you have that

time so you really do have to be patient especially when you're teenage years and then understand that you won't have it figured out when you're a young adult and to not hate on yourself for that that comes with experience and time quite honestly and I don't think I'm gonna be a very well-rounded adult until I'm like 35. Until then, I will simply just be experiencing the world, making new discoveries about myself that I was not able to make in high school because you were still kind of confined to the boundaries of what you were born into. But being a young adult is not about having shit figured out. You haven't had any time to figure shit out, okay? Experience. Just be. Go try new things go push your boundaries a little bit go try things that have piqued your interest

i think that is truly what it is to be a good young adult it's not going and getting all these accomplishments it's not going and getting a great perfect job it's not going and getting all a's it's are you making choices with your life that are opening you to new experiences and also opening you to yourself that is what being a good young adult is and i'm not gonna worry about the rest of the bullshit adult stuff that i need to figure out until later and when i need to figure it out quite honestly i will also a more realistic practical advice i think if you're gonna learn anything that is like an adult thing to learn especially when you're younger it's financial literacy i'm not talking stocks fuck that bullshit i'm talking roth ira i'm talking good credit i'm

talking money management skills and saving skills I think that is also very important because it sets you up for a good um just way of thinking about things uh for the rest of your life so do a little bit of financial literacy and also just experience just be I think that's a very great topic for today's podcast but don't hate on yourself just give yourself some time give yourself some room to grow and you'll get there I promise you're not missing out on anything you'll get there hi smoke sesh um so my question is how do you have a good relationship with your parents or your mom in general without it becoming too much because I feel like I'm currently struggling with my relationship with my mom because I want her to be in my life and I want

her to be there for me and I want to have that relationship with her but there's just so much childhood trauma and like so much that she doesn't take ownership of that it just keeps like coming back and I feel like she's always like pushing her limits with me and it's just a lot to handle but yeah I just want to wanted to ask how you personally deal with that in your life thank you I love you so much and I love your podcast I'm your number one fan if you had one fan it would be me love you hello fellow mommy issues babes um speaking of changing your mindset from when you were in high school to now um I've done I've done a lot of growth and I feel like in high school specifically early college I resented my parents a lot and I think that is just a

general thing that a lot of people feel um you start realizing just the world around you and what it's like in the world around you and you start realizing fuck-ups that might have happened and you might start holding a little bit of resentment that's fine i think everybody feels that way at some point i think the biggest thing that i had to realize though and it took a lot of growth and maturity for me to kind of come to this conclusion um but my parents and this also really helped my relationship with them just by having this mindset um my parents are kids too okay and i wanted my childhood to be perfect i wanted everything that they did to be perfect i wanted to have the most perfect parents in the world the best experiences i mean yeah as a kid

you know you should have that but in reality they were kids trying to figure it out just as much as i currently am trying to figure it out today so if i am allowing myself the kind of forgiveness and my friends the kind of forgiveness that they need to grow and do better i need to allow that for my parents as well and understand that you know what sometimes people fuck up and i don't know the extent to which your trauma exists um sometimes you know removing some parents from your life is okay but for me personally it wasn't that deep i held a lot of resentment for quite honestly nothing that I've now grown up and realized you know as a parent if in the future if I have kids I would like some forgiveness like that as well um so realizing that really helped

as well as moving out um I understand if you live with your parents it's really hard especially because you're constantly around them um I feel like when I was constantly around my parents um we had so much confliction and like so much intense conflict because at the time i thought i was very different from them but in reality the reason we were like having so much conflict is because we were so similar quite honestly and as soon as you accept that you are like your parents you are very similar to your parents the good and the bad you can grow from that um and i think you need to do the growing yourself because a lot of people also don't take responsibility and a lot of people aren't able to see that they need to grow a lot of people like staying where they are

you cannot push for other people to do better you cannot push for other people to make growth to make change that is something that quite honestly everybody has to do on their own whether it's a parent that you want to you want them to see what they did or if it's a friend who's in a toxic relationship or if it's yourself you have to let those people come to their conclusions on their own and something that I have learned especially with grown-ups and being in the whole grown-up world is a lot of people do not want to change a lot of people do not want to grow and a lot of people simply aren't able to look inward on themselves and do that insight. That's fine. It is not my responsibility to change anybody or force them to grow. If they want to stay the same

for the rest of their life, that's fine. Set boundaries accordingly. Recognize in yourself where you need to grow and what stems from those people and what you can do to change um yourself and make better steps within yourself healing traumatic cycles ending traumatic um cycles uh what is it called fucking like uh ending the cycle you know what i mean like you can do that and i think by doing so it gave me a little bit more feeling of control not on my parents but more so on my life and my trauma and my experiences and in turn i was able to heal through them a lot better so you do have to do a little forgiveness to your parents i can't lie and if it is traumatic enough that you don't want to have a relationship with them i think it's very

important to also set necessary boundaries but do the inward thinking towards yourself and kind of put yourself in their shoes and understand that like yeah not everything's perfect nobody can be a perfect person and you want your parents to be that perfect person because when you're younger you do see them that way and when you grow up you start realizing that just like us our parents have flaws as well our parents have mistakes our parents you know slip up and that's okay I do want to allow my uh parents that forgiveness and that ability to grow within themselves um but I'm lucky my parents are in therapy my parents are medication you know so am I we are kind of you know both working individually to uh grow and do better so I think I'm in a very lucky situation

with my parents but growing up you do realize that you are similar to them and in turn you do offer them a little bit um of a of a little bit of forgiveness so you'll get there I promise stay strong I believe in you you know what we haven't done in for fucking ever a bong rip let's get into it i think the the biggest thing that i missed while i was in california was being able to smoke out of like a bong or a rig we only had like pens or um fuck what was it we had pens or like a pipe that's it but like bongs and dab rigs are like my fave way to smoke also joints love but pipes just fucking kill me so right now i'm smoking on some pass pack cbd you already know code smoke sesh for 10 off literally fresh as fuck maybe

five day old little baby nugs uh this is golden sunset so excited let's take a little rip and get into some more questions oh yeah i've missed this oh my god this is so funny someone messaged me and goes hello i hope you're having a lovely day i am thank you um i was scrolling through a tiktok and i saw a tiktok of a tornado in kansas and i immediately thought of you have you ever seen a tornado tell us love you love you um growing up in kansas we um i've never well kind of they're very common now how common are they for them to touch down not super common i've definitely seen like funnel clouds i've definitely seen them like point out but it's super rare for them to get strong enough for them to touch down um where i live we don't have a whole lot of tornadoes

touched down because you need like big open fields and i live in the city so i was lucky enough that like no tornadoes could really touch down around me but the surrounding areas definitely had a lot of tornadoes and when i was younger i had like well obviously undiagnosed anxiety and nobody really paid attention to that so um i had so much anxiety specifically about tornado sirens that when or no not tornado sirens but tornadoes that whenever i would hear a siren i would go and like get all of my pets and like all of my things. And I would go down to the basement and I would just sit there all night. I would sleep in the basement. My parents would be like, it was a warning. Like this is a tornado warning, babe. Like nothing's happening. And I'd be like, I don't

care. I'm staying down here where it's safe. I'm so scared. Like so funny. And also I'm sure people have like flood drills or earthquake drills in school, but we had tornado drills and literally our tornado drill was for us to just like get under our desks and like hold the desk over our head as as tight as we could i was like how is this gonna stop a tornado like are you kidding me it's gonna just like scoop us up anyways i have not been super close to a tornado luckily have not had anything destroyed by it but it is pretty prevalent here i can't lie okay this one's for my dms it's a little longer but let's get into it hey hannah just wondering if i could get your advice on how to hang out with friends who enjoy doing different things than you do to keep it

short i'm an introvert and have a lot of social anxiety so going out to bars clubs and parties is not really my thing my best friends really enjoy going out and drinking and are constantly inviting me to hang out with them but i always have to decline since i know it would be very uncomfortable for me i've gone to parties with them in the past and have never been able to relax or enjoy myself but did so because i wanted to give it an honest effort love i've told them before that going out isn't really my thing but it seems like the only only time they invite me to hang out is in a party setting i love my friends and spending time with them but i feel like i'm losing them because we are so different socially please help also i absolutely love your

podcast listening to it always makes my day love you um great question i think this is something that a lot of people deal with um especially like i also deal with this within my relationship up my boyfriend is very introverted um not a big party person I on the other hand am social butterfly to the t love going out love going to clubs love partying it up um so something that has really helped is well a I hope none of your friends hold resentment against you you have good friends if you know you can decline on an opportunity and they're like okay cool we'll catch you next time like no worries those are great friends hopefully that is your situation because you can work with that um now what i have kind of learned especially from somebody who used

to think i was an introvert um i did not like going out or going to clubs or parties especially like in high school with my friends because we were always always going to parties um or events where it was like their friends putting it on and I was kind of like the third party and I didn't really know anybody there except for my friends and you kind of get a little lost and of course that brings on a little bit of anxiety and so something and so that like kind of always would deter me from being like I don't want to go out I don't want to go out I don't want to go experience that shit i don't want to be like the third wheel it's not fun until i realized i like going out i just need to be in an environment where i feel comfortable and kind of honored in a sense all

right so like parties love them love parties if it's all my friends okay especially big parties love throwing parties love being the person to put on parties i feel way more comfortable in that situation I love going to bars and clubs that fit my vibe okay if it's like a club where it's gonna play music that I'm just like I don't know the music not really feeling it don't know the drinks the vibes off of course I'm not gonna have a good time but if I find like a fun little 80s bar 90s bar where I can go hang out no music um not no music but I know the music um that way more fun also just getting more comfortable within the nightlife scene especially bartending I feel a lot more comfortable when it comes to like ordering drinks and being in a bar

environment so now I'm not saying you're wrong like if this is something you genuinely just don't enjoy you don't enjoy going out vibes I feel you I hear you but if the friends that you're hanging out with are they like to go party they like to go do these things and that's when they invite you out I think you need to take the initiative to set up opportunities to invite them to hang out with you and do your activities okay so then you don't have to constantly be declining and then you guys all have something to look forward to that is not in a party setting and if they're good friends of course we'll agree you'll work something out you can do like a fun little smoke and hang girls night you can go do like a dinner or a brunch like dress up you can

still get out they enjoy getting out and drinking obviously there's environments that you can do that in that aren't as jam-packed super overwhelming as like a party or a club um there's a lot of middle ground that you can find especially if they are like i said your good friends they'll help you figure it out they'll help um you find some middle ground but i say either a find an environment that you think you'll enjoy or b create a new activity that you guys can do together whether it's you know going to brunch doing a little outing to a flea market having a little girls smoke night whatever it is i guarantee you'll figure it out you'll have fun and i love you i feel like this podcast is gonna be really long just because i did like a 30 minute

recap of my vacation and i want to get to enough questions also if you hear like noises in the background the mowers are here so they are just going crazy on the grass um but let's hit this hi hannah love the pod my name is caroline um so i just wanted to give a little tip for the stoner girlies so i finished the 420 special and you mentioned lung health and potentially smoking mullion leaves which i have never tried myself but i wanted to recommend something it's this like tincture that you can put in water or juice or whatever and it's called respiratory complex and the main ingredient in it is mullion leaf extract or whatever i got mine in the homeopathic section at Whole Foods and basically it just like helps you hack shit out

of your lungs without actually putting smoke in your lungs so I just thought I would recommend all right love the pod peace out bye love that was perfect thank you so much I love this new like voice audio feature as well I love that you guys can call in when I say like call-ins I mean submit anything love that little tip and trick because I agree sometimes like inhaling like mullion great love it but the whole like inhaling something to also get something out of your lungs just like was not the vibe for me and that's why I was like I don't know if I recommend it in the 420 special but love that you found a tincture please if you guys have tips tricks things on your mind questions stories submit it all that is what the um call-ins are for and if you want

to keep yourself anonymous feel free to do so if you want to submit your name if you want to plug yourself I don't care please do it all I'm here for it hey Hannah um I love the podcast I love you I think you're like the coolest person ever um my question is about anxiety and like blacking out when you're drunk and not remembering it the next day and then like being told you acted like a damn fool because that just happened to me on my birthday on Friday and I really acted like a fool and I feel so dumb and like I don't know like how do you get over anxiety oh anxiety oh my gosh a big reason why I kind of don't drink a lot because I have an issue where when I start drinking i either go to the max or i have one drink um but it's your birthday first of all it's

your birthday if you're fucked up on your birthday you get the pass immediately unless you're doing some like fucking crazy outlandish shit like you're going to jail or whatever like you get a pass okay it's your birthday on my 21st birthday no one beats this like i will cure your anxiety ID right now on my 21st birthday I took 21 shots before the 3 p.m before 3 p.m where I had another birthday party to go to so I was drinking drinking drinking I got kicked out of a daiquiri bar because I didn't have my ID but I had a birthday sash on and I was like apparently keep in mind I blacked out it's like 1 p.m apparently I was like but why can't you like I have the birthday sash on like you can't serve me like what the fuck kicked out anyways um then went home

proceeded to projectile vomit everywhere don't remember this friends had to hold my hair back i took a 20 minute nap then i went to my second birthday party continued drinking was so fucked up at the time i was seeing my boyfriend but we were still like in the talking stages like figuring it out we weren't like officially dating so like i was still of course trying to impress him and i invited him to my birthday party completely blacked out a hot fucking mess throw up still in my hair my hair still in the you know updo the throw up bun one might say um the throw up ponytail with the fucking half on scrunchie um you know it snagged him up we took his car up by my house fucked in his car and then he went home and then I woke up

on my front porch like woke up like I woke up on my front porch so if I can make it through that and still feel proud of myself you can too but I think the biggest way to kind of heal that anxiety and kind of not have any anxiety um i specifically learned this in college is you need to have a like ritualistic hangover morning with your girls and i'm talking you guys wake up you guys get together and then you guys just spew and talk about all the madness that happened the night before so you guys can get it out of your system when i drink and then i end up alone the next day I am like oh my god what the fuck what do people think about me like constantly just overwhelmed anxiety and keep in mind that's just you know it's like a byproduct when I say like of course

you're gonna get anxiety when smoking the same thing happens when you're hungover the next day and your brain's on one percent of course you're gonna have anxiety okay and I think the best way to combat anxiety is to just have a laugh about it with your friends so if you can't do that definitely recommend a morning after you know get together with the girls talk it over laugh a little bit but if you can't i say just nap it off nap it off those anxiety thoughts are never positive never necessary the best thing you can really do for your brain after a good night of drinking and making a fool of yourself is just nap it off also give your like give your drunk alter ego a name okay so then you can literally like kind of push it on them now if you do bad

shit if you like fucked up fucked up of course apologize do whatever you need like absolutely but most of the time when we're just drunk fucked up like we're not making huge mistakes we just think they are because the next day we realized we didn't have a lot of control so your anxiety is due from a lack of control but there's nothing you can really do about the past but laugh and do better so i love you i hopefully that was helpful so someone else sent this question to my dm but um i have a question for tuesday but it was too long lols how to deal with weight gain oh my god this cat just jumped up on my counter i thought it's gonna knock all the coffee pots over okay anyways um how to deal with weight gain it's healthy and i know it's something that i need

to do but it's so hard to see my body change in that way especially because i spent so much trying time trying to avoid it felt I hear you I love you I'm sending you lots of love um something specifically for me that helps a lot especially when we have been so fucking conditioned to um assume that weight gain is negative within what we've grown up in we have always assumed that weight gain is negative anything that we do that is not skinny okay is not a serve quite honestly that's not true obviously and i want you to feel comfortable within your weight gain but something that really really helps me and is a very good practice um i'm very lucky i live like a block away from a ginormous um art museum um the nelson atkins

museum of art is incredible if you're ever in kansas city take a moment to go walk through there they have some honestly an incredible collection you could spend a whole day in there and then like a whole day around the gardens um but something that i will do and something that has helped me especially recently um it's bikini season i realized i gained some weight i was a little triggered from it because you know we're dealing with some ed stuff but not right now but previously still working on fixing that mindset um i went to the museum not intentionally trying to do this but i went to the museum and i was walking around looking at all these beautiful paintings and sculptures and depictions of women and i realized i look a lot like them

i look a lot like them and i'm looking at these paintings of these beautiful women and i look at them and I immediately recognize them and I'm like that is gorgeous they look beautiful they are owning their skin and who they are so why don't I feel that way how come I look at these paintings and these sculptures and I feel this way but I'm not allowing to feel this way towards myself and I realized I was just holding myself back and I was holding myself back to a standard that is quite honestly impossible to keep within this society so go enjoy your body treat it like a piece of art see other women that are outside of your phone outside of social media outside of facetune go look at real art real depictions of women and you will realize you are very similar

to a lot you are very very similar so that's just a fun little practice um even just going to the library and picking up some um like art books like baroque art books or vintage oil painting books um anything of the sort um you will quickly quickly realize that like the real like form of a woman is not a hundred pound stick thin posing on instagram okay it's very full it's very natural it's very lively as we should be you should enjoy your body you should enjoy your life so go it's like a fun little practice and it's an excuse to get to the art museum so try it out i promise it might help a little bit um but for me personally that really just put a huge change in perspective into how I view myself okay hey um love you love the podcast um you know have to

start it off like that but basically um let me give you a little recap I'm having a good time I'm watching some Netflix I decide to smoke a little bowl open my phone what do I see oh hell no Roe v Wade is being striked down the fuck um I would love to know what you have to think about this I know you're not very political on your podcast um but I would love to hear what you have to say personally I think if you were an abortion get one if you don't don't fucking get one and stay out of other people's business but um yeah I'd love to hear you have to say because quite honestly i'm pissed as fuck and um yeah i my jaw hit the floor anyways love you can't wait to hear what you have to say hi lovey um love you hope everybody's staying safe um this tuesday

morning and at least a little mentally healthy um please try not to doom scroll um or like i have a traumatic response where it's just like if i get overwhelming information i'll just like completely ignore it um those are two not healthy things to do especially with this information it's okay to be upset by this and you should be upset by this um i don't talk about big things a lot my podcast i mean i do consistently throughout my life and um i mean on my instagram as well but i feel like this i feel like a lot of people use this podcast for an escape um and people also are partaking i feel like during this and i don't want to give anybody anxiety attacks or panic attacks but also as a woman this is a big thing to talk about and very very big news very big news

um if it's not abundantly fucking clear i am pro-choice if you want an abortion go get it whenever you want however you want i don't care if you don't want an abortion great love it keep the baby have fun um but i don't think anybody should be able to make that choice for me or for you um and this is a little stressful this is um concerning it is absolutely i hear you guys um and i think if anything it should just make it abundantly clear to everybody that voting at a state level is very important okay very important if roe v wade gets completely overturned i think the initial draft came out um but i don't know final voting has completely gone through but if it does get overturned that means it's going to be up to states whether it's

going to be illegal or not so you guys do have a voice and you have much more of a voice than you really think especially at a state level so get out there vote encourage your friends to vote encourage your family to vote go speak out for what you believe in you would be surprised how much fucking work you can get done and like how much your voice really does matter especially at a state level or even a city-wide level it's like and it's gonna affect us more drastically at that level because i feel like states especially neighboring states are gonna have very different views on how they are going to treat abortion um especially because this is a conservative christian take over it might affect birth control it might affect plan b it might

affect um access to health care for women so it's very important to pay attention to state laws local laws and who is being um not elected but who is being put on the ballot who you can vote for and who you are choosing really does have uh make a very big impact so pay attention to that i think you guys do have a lot of control within this speak out get angry you need to be heard they don't give a fuck about women so be fucking angry be upset be loud do it go for it we all have to be um but if you're in Missouri specifically um where I'm from and well Kansas City and you guys are a little nervous i do have one um great option for you guys it's the mo abortion funds the missouri abortion fund um you can find them on instagram but it's um a reproductive justice

organization providing funds to help missourians access abortion and a lot of states do have these funds so figure out what your um like where you are locally and what kind of um funds and organizations that are around you that are going to support you and are going to help you and help them in return i'll be donating to this organization i hope they continue working with women throughout this um because although i do live in a thc legal state my state still does hate women um so we'll be supporting this we'll be following it i'll keep you guys updated with what's going on but i hope you're all staying safe and staying healthy um i hope we're not doing any doom scrolling okay or just like completely ignoring the issue it is a big

issue that we do need to focus on but also understand that you do have some control in this situation you can make a change you can make a difference get out there and vote okay i love you all please stay safe we'll get through this together okay another question from my dms and once again if you ever send a question in send it to the at hannah marlene instagram account i do not look at the smoke says shawty instagram account the podcast account i get on there to post memes that's really about it i can't lie so send it to my personal one that's the one i mainly use um but someone sent hi hannah this question has a seemingly simple answer but i still struggle on a daily basis with this how do you get yourself to just do things that you don't feel like doing when

you when you're feeling depressed unmotivated i know you talked about the fact that things become a habit after two weeks or so but for me the impossible task has been reaching that point how do i overcome this without getting into a spiral of guilt and self-doubt felt i hear you um for me personally with my adhd brain i have to feel like every time i do a task whether it is simple such as brushing my teeth or big such as I don't know finishing a podcast um and something I've been doing recently just to kind of organize my thoughts organize my to-dos my wants is I made a little like you can do this in your notes but I made a little list of the days of the week so Monday Tuesday Wednesday whatever and then um I personally use like my little sketchbook journal

on my phone to do this or I use my journal in person um like my physical journal or my notes section and I will designate little tasks for each day okay and I don't know why this has so much power in my brain and I know I was taught this in psychology that it helps a lot um but to feel accomplished after doing something on my list i have to physically cross it out like i know this sounds so simple and so stupid but physically cross it out cross it off and then look at that and finish the task for the day you will feel so much more accomplished simply after doing that one task because you've gotten to cross it off once you cross it off it's off your brain it's done you're done for it's easy you're good to go does that make any sense um but yeah lists

love lists love crossing things off my list my mom always did this since i was a kid um like with anything she always had lists going on of things she needed to do and i was always like oh she's just like a neat freak and then i realized no uh she's smart and this is the best way to do shit because I feel so much more accomplished and I feel like a little sense of like proud like yes I gotta cross something off my list it feels good and the best feeling ever is when you look at your weekly list and it's just filled with lines just filled with shit crossed off you're like damn I got a lot done and then it's even better because you can look back on that the week before and be like okay you know what and keep this going I feel proud of myself um and

also don't take it hard on yourself if you can't finish a task i usually just designate um i move tasks around a lot especially throughout the days um because my schedule switches up a lot um so don't be hard on yourself don't hate on yourself just try to work on getting one to three tasks done a day um and work in whatever is most important to you but yeah literally having a list and crossing them off does wonders oh my goodness hey i just want to say that i love the podcast, and I love you. I really appreciate all the effort and energy you put into this. Oh my god, I was looking back, and you've been doing this shit since October, period. You're really killing it. My question was actually, recently I haven't been able to get high smoking flower,

like strictly dabs and dab pens are what get me high, and I don't know why. I know for a fact that my tolerance is, like, standard, it's regular, I don't know, it's nothing crazy, I know that the flower I'm getting is quality, what is up, do you know what's up, I'd love to hear your thoughts, because it's frustrating, ugh, I don't know, anyways, yeah, love you, bye! Hey, girly, um, okay, so, felt, I think we've all been here, especially when you're, like, my tolerance is up there but it's not high enough that i shouldn't be feeling anything from this like what's going on and something that i've learned specifically is to switch the strains so if i have been smoking mainly a sativa dominant um weed for like the past half year um and then i

try a indica i will realize that the indica has a way higher effect than the sativa does on me um simply because my body's not used to the indica and that feeling but it is used to the sativa so i would say switch it up try a different strain um especially when it comes to flour also if you do want to lower your tolerance mixing cbd in with your flour um just for like a good week that um just do that for a week give yourself a little break do like half bowls like half weed half cbd and then after that week um your tolerance should be pretty high especially prepared for a sativa dominant strain i'm not sure what what like kind of strain you're smoking on but i do know that switching the strain really does make a huge difference because i've been

smoking sativas for the past like two years i'd say and when i went to california we got a bunch of indicas and i was on the fucking floor and i'm not a huge fan of indicas well i wasn't because i thought they didn't have a huge effect on me um i thought it was mostly just like a body high but i realized it had a way higher effect on me because my body wasn't used to it my brain wasn't used to it so if you do know what kind you're getting like what kind of flower you're getting um look into it you can get on like leafly or whatever it is leafy and see what kind of dominant strain it is and then kind of do the opposite go for an opposite kind of strain um but that's all I can really recommend um and that works with dabs and dab pens as well dab pens in

general are gonna make your tolerance skyrocket like absolutely skyrocket so if you're not a if you don't want your tolerance to skyrocket I would say avoid dab pens also hey Hannah I love you so much I love your podcast and I just appreciate everything that you say in it I look up to so much um I didn't realize I can only record to a minute and I really want some advice on something so I'm gonna talk kind of quickly so I have a boyfriend love him so much um he has three dogs two cats like fucking four ferrets I love animals so much don't get me wrong but the dog hair in his house is just skeeving me out so much like there's dog hair basically everywhere like you go take a shower every towel has dog hair and it's just it wasn't until like the last

straw was when I found it in my cooch and like no like that's just I told him that I have really bad allergies in general too so I'm always sneezing and like itching my arms when I'm there but this was the last straw and I kind of it makes me not want to go to his house anymore you know and I don't want to be that person I don't want to make him change his whole way of living but I don't know I love your input thank you so much please you're so cute that's so funny um okay i don't think you're like changing him i don't think there's a toxic one here i think you just need to be like hey i got allergies and i can't do it with all this hair like i know you got a lot of dogs but we got i can't come over here because my allergies are gonna freak out love

you babe you have to come over here unless your house is clean i think that's totally fine and valid and like maybe send him an amazon link to a great like i don't know what's the best for like dog hair like a great vacuum or a great like something like that just be like hey my allergies like I love you but my allergies really really have been acting up and I can't do it with all the dog hair around me like please can you just clean up so I can come over and if not please I would love to have you over at my house I think that's totally valid because babe I would lose it I would lose it I get I get it like I understand being like okay I'll put up with this I'll put up with this and then it like hits a point where you're like fuck this this is the last fucking

straw something has to change speak up for yourself you're just gonna get more irritated and more mad if you don't speak up for yourself and what's the worst thing he's gonna say no great all you can be like is cool well now you have to come over to my place because you have too much shit unfortunately but yeah if he's your partner you should be able to have open uh communication and conversations like this without anybody's feelings getting hurt especially if you got allergies like my boyfriend's really really allergic to cats and i have a cat and so i try and make sure that you know i have an air uh purifier and everything's dust mops and i always wash my hands very like very like well before i like touch his face or anything because it will

literally like start like crying because it's like those such bad allergies so if i can do that your boyfriend can cater to you a little bit as well especially if you're spending so much time over there i feel like that's pretty fair okay let's take a little rip and then let's talk people pleasing because i got a lot of questions about that um and i am such a fucking people pleaser i really am it's because i was the youngest and i didn't get a whole lot of attention so the only intention i did get was when there was when i was oh my god was when from oh my god oh my god you guys my brain can i put this sentence together holy shit was was from when i i don't even know where i was going with this that is fucking funny wow wow

maybe I shouldn't rip this bowl anyways I only had attention from when I was being good or when I was doing good things so that really instilled a very high people-pleasing um kind of situation in my brain I was the biggest fucking people pleaser until I was what I would say until I was like 19 i would it was all about pleasing people and the funniest part is everybody was so happy with me oh my god everybody was so happy with me my parents loved me my grandparents loved me my brother thought it was so cool my friends thought i was so cool um and i i was miserable I was absolutely fucking miserable that whole entire time. Where is a lighter? I spent about 18 years of my life choosing career paths that didn't interest me but would make other people

happy. Choosing classes that didn't interest me but would make people happy. Hobbies that would make other people happy. Friends that would make other people happy. Activities that would make other people happy and I thought if I just kept going and kept doing this like you know eventually like I'll be happy right like everybody else around me is happy why is it not working for me and I mean the clear answer very much obviously is you know you're not doing just shit for yourself so of course you're gonna be unhappy but in my brain it was like well I'm making everybody else happy around me and I'm a very giving person so why the fuck am I not happy you know what I mean like why isn't why isn't it working for me and I realized hold on let's rip this oh my gosh

oh my god I realized that I was uncomfortable with sitting with the idea and feeling of being uncomfortable I was uncomfortable with sitting with the idea and feeling of being the bad guy and this is why I've talked about you know you need to disappoint your parents a little bit um it's kind of just a metaphor of just like you need to stand up for yourself and be okay with the idea of discomfort in order for yourself to grow um you simply are not gonna grow unless you feel uncomfortable change is uncomfortable you're going to get a lot of people that don't see eye to eye with you and that is okay that's okay that is where growth comes from and if you do not do so you unfortunately will not grow or change into the person you want to become you're going to be

stagnant you're going to lose yourself and other people and you will never be happy people pleasing will never get you to the point that you need to be in order to be successful as a person emotionally physically in your career um and in order to break the people pleasing pattern we must learn how to sit with discomfort instead of reacting to it, including the discomfort of others being unhappy with us, the discomfort of letting others handle their own problems instead of rushing to fix them, the discomfort of having difficult conversations and setting tough boundaries, the discomfort that comes when we realize others' happiness isn't our responsibility but our own happiness is. I feel like we put so much time and effort into other people and never

into ourselves and yeah it's gonna be a little uncomfortable to prioritize yourself especially when all of us have been so conditioned to people please you know what i mean um but it's okay it's okay i'm telling you it's okay and i've learned that you must literally um like all you can really do when people are mad as you mad at you is just take it quite honestly just take it that is their reaction to what you are doing which is hopefully a beneficial step for you and if they're upset if they're mad that's fine you do have to accept that in some people's storylines you might be the villain and i'm not saying go out and do fucking crazy shit and actually like be the villain i'm just saying some people are sensitive some people want to be

catered to and when you stand up to those people and you start catering to yourself you might be met with some backlash especially from your parents or especially from certain friends okay that's okay you do need to put yourself first it's gonna be uncomfortable and it's gonna take some time but once you get there it is quite honestly an addicting fucking feeling it is so addicting people get mad at me and i'm like cool sorry you're mad but i can see what this is doing for me and i'm so much happier for myself because i set a boundary which is super hard very difficult um but i did it and i'm feeling accomplished and also they're either going to a reinforce that boundary and listen to me and be a great person within my life or b they're gonna break that

boundary and i'm going to quickly realize that that is not somebody i want in my life and i need to break that bond you know it helps get get your life moving a little bit faster sometimes to be a better and happier person for yourself you have to be a bad person to others it means you have to disappoint some people along the way establish some boundaries that might be hard for you to do and remind yourself other people won't understand your recovery process or even attempt to if you're someone who people pleases a lot it's very easy to fall into the trap of fawning as a trauma response but sometimes you'll need to displease certain people in order to be happy with yourself um and you don't need anyone's affection or approval in order to be good enough when i mean

i got everybody's affection and approval for 18 years i mean everybody i was a star fucking student 4.0 gpa fucking like five different hobbies on three different sports team all-star student all-star daughter you know what i mean and i was in the deepest fucking depression that i have ever been in ever simply because i was not pleasing myself i was consistently breaking boundaries with myself i was consistently going against myself and that is such a detrimental that has such detrimental effects to your mental health that you don't even know you simply turning your back on yourself has such a huge effect on your mental health you will feel like shit either if it's subconsciously or consciously you will not feel good you know when you're making a decision

that does not feel comfortable and you're just people pleasing and it doesn't feel good you know what i'm talking about and it's hard to stand up in those moments and say something but no one else is going to no one else will you are the only person who can stand up and say something for yourself that little you know person in your brain is not going to jump out and speak for you no one else is going to stand up for you you have to do it for yourself you have to set those boundaries and also boundaries aren't a bad thing boundaries are not a bad thing okay they're good they're necessary for respectful relationships with other people they're good for you to set your boundaries so other people can feel comfortable setting their boundaries it's very

important and also it builds stronger relationships stronger friendships stronger um just bonds between people so never feel bad forever sending a boundary as well unlearning people pleasing codependency for me involves the very uncomfortable process of learning how to set emotional and mental boundaries i do not currently have the emotional or mental energy to allow someone to disturb my peace more than once i can't give people all the chances to hurt me i used to at the first hint of a mind game i'm cutting them off anyone whose influence in my life increases confusion overthinking stress or self-loathing is cut off i'm done gaslighting myself if i feel uncomfortable i feel uncomfortable and that's enough i'm finally putting myself first no more

subliminal messages no more passive-aggressive communication either direct and positive with me or not in my life at all no more settling for crumbs constantly being misunderstood or feeling like i have to explain myself i have poured and poured from an empty cup all my life you either pour into my cup or you're not in my life this is literally necessary to recover my health um i've read this before but it's from daughter of a narcissist woman on tumblr love them um that reading really stuck with me and i think completely 360'd my life you have to take control you have to take ownership no one else is going to do it for you and I feel like we're so used to you know getting assignments getting um uh projects getting new things to do things are already set up for us

and it's really hard for us to set ourselves up for success and that is the biggest kind of adult life thing that you need to learn is you have to take those initiatives you have to set yourself up for success because no one else is going to in this world no one else wants you to succeed You have to want it for yourself set those boundaries to stand up for yourself Stop those people-pleasing behaviors if I got through it and i'm still getting through it You can too I promise you but my life did such a drastic 360 After I stopped people-pleasing and i'm so much happier where I am in three years than I was in 18 So

I love you all so so fucking much. This has been so fun. Thank you all for joining me this tuesday I know this one's a little bit longer, but I really miss you guys and I wanted to catch up I wanted to do some more questions um we're gonna do so much more on Thursday you already know I will be back Thursday and I'm planning on continuing every Tuesday and Thursday throughout the summer thank you guys for giving me that week off I really really appreciate it uh like I said as much as I wanted to work and have or just to work on vacation sorry I have the hiccups um I have to set boundaries and sometimes they're not even boundaries with other people sometimes it's boundaries with yourself um but I love you all

so much thank you for joining me I hope you all are having a wonderful Tuesday um and I will see you all on Thursday remember submit any questions you have to the Instagram at Hannah Marlene and on that Instagram account at Hannah Marlene you can um what is it oh in my bio it'll be like call ins and voice memos if you want to send any uh voice memos do it there in my link tree link it'll take you directly to where you can record um but i love you all let's take one last little hit and i'll let you go with your day oh yeah love you