Smoke Sesh - I’m tired, finding balance in chaos & creating a comfortable space

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

happy Tuesday everyone I hope we’re all surviving during this time and attempting to thrive in the chaos floating through the universe right now, today I talk having my first retrograde trail and tribulation regarding my car and how I don’t let my anxiety take control of me, we also talk what makes a good purchase, how to build a portfolio, feeling stagnant and how to know when you need a T break, gut feelings and not ignoring intuition, how to create a space you feel comfortable in and what I have in my space that I love, we also talk romanticization and how I take my photos and why I take so many photos, the devil & angel that sits on your shoulder and how to find balance between their whispers and especially in the chaos of it all, and finally my favorites of right now that are helping me survive and thrive. I hope you all are having an amazing day and I can’t wait to be back again with you guys, once again send all questions to my Instagram @ hannahmarlene and I’ll see you soon

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning everybody, how are we all feeling? are we surviving are we persevering are we not letting things get to us even though they try so fucking hard to get to us oh my god this morning let me update you um mercury retrograde officially

gave me my first trial of the season thank god and i accepted it with grace and dignity oh my god i was driving home at like what 10 o'clock at night oh so sorry about my ac let me turn that bitch off it's gonna be so annoying anyways i was driving home friday night after work so like 10 11 o'clock at night and um you know just doing my thing listening to my lana del rey romanticizing life whatever it is and um this car with a giant trailer on the back cut like three lanes of traffic swerved in front of me um so i had to kind of swerve around him and i missed the car thank god but my entire front of my car ate the shit out of a pothole ate it listen i hit a lot of potholes there are so many fucking potholes in my city it's

it's insane um but I was not prepared for the level of damage that I did to my car um and it happened I was like okay we're just gonna get home safe we're gonna deal with this in the morning like there is me staying up all night and worrying about it is not gonna fix anything anything at all um and that's something I've slowly had to realize over the years that like worrying yourself to death does not mean you are fixing the problem it means you're probably making it worse because you're you're hyping up your anxiety you know what i mean i had some chicken tenders i went the fuck to sleep and i woke up the next morning and i was like okay let's get it figured out um seven hundred dollars later

oh my god seven hundred dollars later um i should be able to pick up my car later today but holy fuck if that wasn't a oh like i'm grinding my teeth thinking about it right now but you know we're gonna persevere through it um i'm just gonna try and accept my wins and my losses with grace and with poise and you know that's what savings accounts are for you know what that's that's what they're there for it's for emergencies and i'm so lucky that i have one and i've built one up for myself or else this might have been a lot more stressful so i thought i would update you guys on everything going on with that um but yeah first mercury retrograde trial of the fucking season and i've made it through so who knows what else will get thrown my way probably

a lot and listen I'm here for it I'm gonna work my way through it that's all you can really do during this season but went to the dealership this morning not really dealership I guess auto parts place and paid that bill and then came back to my apartment I'm drinking iced coffee in my house because we're budgeting now and honestly I cannot keep getting iced coffee out anymore it really is like my my old routine used to be okay have my book go to the coffee shop to read and then i would get a coffee there to encourage me to read um but i finished my book and i cannot spend any more money on coffee so now we're making iced coffee from home ladies i just have like a cold brew you know thing and then i also have an espresso machine which is nice especially

in the winter when i want to make like hot lattes and then i just get like a sweet cream creamer and a little bit of oat milk and boom pow there is an eight dollar coffee but you spend eight dollars on all the supplies and you get like 10 coffees instead of eight dollars for one so listen we're leveling up we're adulting we're in our adulting mode probably got to pick up some more shifts at work but how are y'all doing are you guys vibing you having a good time i didn't really do anything this weekend because my car was fucked up um so i don't really have a whole lot to update you on i did just post a new um instagram photo i spent a majority of my time inside in my house in my robe and just messing around my camera and i got some cool photos well my boyfriend actually

got some cool photos of me um and they kind of remind me of younger me so if you want to take a look those are on my instagram at hannah marlene if you go and visit it say hey from the pod you know what i mean but with that being said since i don't have a lot to update you on which honestly probably for the best i usually update you guys on a lot if i either am doing a bunch of shit or if i am going through it and luckily i'm somewhere in the middle so my piece is still i'm still vibing you know what i mean but with that being said i guess we can jump into some questions i'm gonna chug the rest of this coffee load a little bowl and hopefully we can smoke together oh my god though i might have to whisper for this nah whatever i keep getting emails

from my apartment complex being like hey just so you know this is a no smoking building you cannot smoke inside like i knew that i live in a legal state um but like yeah i get it like you can't just like be you can't just smoke like joints inside like i get that's annoying for my neighbors so i've been going outside to smoke my joints but also if you're trying to be a discreet you know discreet smoker discreet girly um what has worked for me and what i think is the most respectful is if you can get a smoke buddy do so also the cheap way to go about it and the way i've always gone about it since i was like fucking 14 the toilet paper roll you put a dryer sheet over the end secure it with a hair tie and shove a bunch of dryer sheets in the middle um and the

trick to using that correctly is you're gonna blow your smoke through it but also you can make another one or you can just put it you have to put it on top of your bowl as well so when the residual smoke goes into something that's going to you know cover it the real way to go about it and what i've been doing and what's really been working is i put a box fan in my window and i open my window and i just blow my smoke into there and i have tons of candles and wall plugins and that seemed to you know i haven't got any more any more emails but yeah i was like oh god and it's not just me there's like four other people in this building who do it too but listen i gotta be respectful i can't get kicked out you know what i mean but if you need

to be discreet that's the way to do it box fan open window you can do anything literally anyways i'm gonna go set that up smoke a little bit if you'd like to join me i probably won't do it like with you guys but understand there's going to be a pause here and that's what i'm doing because i don't want to hold my phone next to a fan that's going to be annoying anyways let's get into it okay let me get a sip of coffee my mouth is so dry so dry but let's get into it oh yesterday on my instagram story i posted and i was like this is relatable i need to bring it up but you literally know it's a good clothing purchase or a good purchase in general when you receive it and then you immediately put it on

or like start using it for four or five six days in a row like i bought this t-shirt it was maybe $15 on ebay i got it i was like oh it's not gonna fit i put it on and it is the cutest vintage t-shirt i've ever seen and it fits perfectly and literally i woke up and immediately wore like nine different outfits that included that shirt like i was like this was worth every dollar i spent and luckily it was only 15 you know what i mean but that's how you know if it's gonna be good or not some shit i buy and then i set it on the ground and i'm like i'm like why did i buy this like when am i gonna wear this or what am i gonna use this for and that's really like not what i should be spending money on and i kind of need to retrain my brain a little bit to be like okay

is this gonna become an integrated part of my life is this item is this thing is this experience gonna become an integrated part of my life if it is then it's probably a good sign and it's probably worth the purchase if i'm literally gonna use it once and waste 10 20 30 40 dollars on it then it's usually not worth it you know and i really need to start thinking about those things before i buy them because i'm such a habitual shopper especially like at the thrift store if i see something i'm just like i love that i might wear it i need to buy it but in reality it's like no babe i sometimes now walk into the thrift store and i'll find three things but if they're not things that i'm like obsessed with love and i'm gonna use all the time i just put it back i will

walk out of there with nothing that is perfectly fine to me um and on patreon one of you guys asked me to do like a thrift haul such like thrift day video um so i might do that this week that might be up on thursday if you're interested my patreon is hannah marlene um but yeah i just need to be way more conscious of what i'm spending money on because holy shit it's budgeting season babes you know what i mean like i want to go on vacation i want to do these big experiences so that ten dollar latte is not worth it to me right now when i'm trying to you know catch a flight you know what i mean but let's see some questions from my instagram um okay oh someone asked tips for putting together portfolios for art or fashion school so i got into art school um i got into a

private art school and it was supposed to be a little tricky to get in which is fine i don't think it's really that tricky to get into this art school i went to kcai i'm pretty sure if you apply like they're probably going to accept you what's really tricky about all colleges is getting the the uh scholarships i almost said sponsorships no no no scholarships um getting scholarships is a little tricky and they are willing to throw money at you but you kind of have to prove yourself and that's where portfolios really come in handy um and i guess if you go to a regular college not portfolios but your resume like that comes in handy um your experience what you can do what you can prove and i think when it comes to art school specifically i did so well because

my portfolio was very diverse i had everything in there now i do have a certain kind of style i do stuff in which helps um if you have your own way of seeing things i think that really helps but also showing that you are interested in different aspects of art and not just one aspect do not turn in a 20-piece portfolio of only charcoal drawings do not turn in a 20-piece portfolio of only clay and pottery items make sure you are taking pictures of many different things i had like comic book stuff in there um pottery painting i had photography i had anything under the sun doodles out of your sketchbook they love to see that if you have a sketchbook they would go crazy if you just scanned pages that you enjoyed out of your sketchbook. Show

that you kind of have a process of doing things. I think all of that really really helps and think outside of the box. I try and get very creative with the colors I'm using. I'm very kind of abstract in the way I draw but also like in a cartoony way and I also can get like into realism. I can get into you know abstract art I can follow the wave wherever it goes and I think showing that even if you're not good at it it doesn't matter but showing that you are willing and interested to go into different aspects of what art is is the key kind of concept here because when you get to art school and I noticed a lot of the people that I was in class with were immediately disappointed because you do not jump straight into what you want to do what your specialty is

if you want to do oil paints and you show up freshman year you probably are not going to touch oil paints that whole year like it is very unlikely i wanted to do illustration and i showed up to art school and they had me making eight foot by eight foot cardboard structures like what's based off of like an inch by inch like a square inch from a photograph that we took like a week prior so confusing what i'm trying to say is you're probably not going to do immediately what you want to do you're going to be forced to try a bunch of new things and really grasp a bunch of different concepts and if you show that you're willing to do that and interested in doing that before you even show up to school they are going to be very impressed with that um also anything

kind of helps getting scholarships if you just contact your financial advisor and contact your advisor and start talking to them and simply asking for stuff they are more willing to throw you money than you really think if you show you're a person and reach out and really speak and talk to these people building connections is really really big in college so if you can kind of you know jump start that a little bit i highly recommend um but yeah i didn't even realize my portfolio was good until i saw my scholarship um and my adhd brain cannot stay on one thing for a really long time so my portfolio was very much so all over the place and i think that is what really really helped it succeed so if you can kind of do that i think you will do well you know what

i mean and also don't be afraid to show your show yourself in it um they want to see who you are they want to kind of visualize you as a person based on what you're turning in they don't want to see a bunch of artwork that can be done by anybody they want to see somebody's personality shine through what they're doing so just do what's true to your heart and don't be afraid to try new things and I think you'll do well you know what I mean someone said um I feel stagnant how do I stay busy after dropping out of college you have to now micromanage yourself so you know how in college they gave you you have like um classes that you have to go to now you have things that you have to go do um so make sure you're setting up like like you have to treat yourself like a

child make sure you're setting up play dates make sure you're setting up time to go exercise make sure you're setting up time to get outside um you really have to like extra parent yourself and you have to micromanage yourself a little bit um and you kind of have to act in the way you want your like future and ideal self to act does that make sense because like hannah now just wants to sit on the couch and not do anything and check out on tiktok for like eight hours do you know what i mean and just simply not have to think but that is not healthy and we cannot do that do you know what i mean i mean we can do that occasionally um but when i'm spending seven days a week doing that like okay we got to reevaluate some things here so a good way to

like change my mindset is to be like okay where do i want to be where do i visualize myself and how would i behave then and that's how i kind of trick my brain into getting into like chore mode into getting into like um getting shit done mode you know what i mean but really just leaning into that idea and that concept and behaving in that manner I think will really help you but also you have to plan stuff for yourself you have to plan projects you have to plan you know hanging out with friends you have to plan activities for yourself because those aren't going to automatically be set up for you through life the same way they are in college and in school previously so you really have to just take a hold of your own life and it takes a while to kind of get into trust me

like i it took me like a year to kind of settle back into figuring out how to run my life again do you know what i mean but you'll figure it out eventually give yourself time and room to grow and learn and you'll get there oh someone asked what are the signs i should take a tea break this is a great question i think there's kind of multiple um reasons people take a tea break but i think this is the main a your tolerance is getting too high um hopefully you're using it in a positive way but if your tolerance is getting too high i can totally understand why that is not helpful and not fun and so taking a little break can really really lower it especially fast um but the number two reason is you're just abusing it and not using it correctly everybody says like

weed is not a um addictive drug but i think everything can be addicting like if we're being honest think about it cigarettes um food sex love drugs like anything can be addicting it is really just all about the way you are using it and how it is interfering interfering with your life if you cannot wake up and be sober throughout the day contently or um even working through life's problems as they are um there's a little bit of an issue there and i don't mean to shame because i have absolutely been there and i've been there many a times in my life um and i filled that hole with different things but i have definitely filled it with weed do you know what i mean um so if you find yourself like waking up and you cannot be awake without having to be high

or under a substance that is a very valid sign that maybe you need a break um and maybe you need to just like cut back a little bit so you can adjust back to life and back to um you know figuring out your problems and solving things and solving issues sober does that make sense um because yeah life sucks i get it it won't suck all the time i guarantee but also we need to be able to understand and to get through those hardships without substances and without um negative coping habits so if you find yourself there that's okay the first step is recognizing you know what i mean um and so if you're having a hard time just like not being high i really recommend supplementing with something um i've been there where i'm like there's no way i can't

not smoke like other times i've taken a tea break it's because i have like a bad experience and i'm like okay i just have no interest in consuming anything for like a few months but other times i'm like okay this isn't not a healthy relationship let me you know take a step back and it's really hard when i have it so integrated into my lifestyle that i feel like i'm missing a piece of my lifestyle when i take it away so the best way i can kind of recommend is just supplementing it with something um and i'm not saying another substance i mean i used cbd in the past and did like cbd joints so i would do uh like cbd flour and that was incredible because it still kind of gave me the act of like participating in that smoking ritual but it's like there's like no thc

in it you know what i mean do not supplement with nicotine but also you can supplement with like activities keeping yourself busy when you know like okay i wake up and i immediately you know take a rip off the bong maybe you're gonna wake up and immediately walk to a coffee shop um get a coffee and then like go on a walk or something fill that time make sure you're busy and the best way to kind of make it through a tea break is to just stay busy from as soon as you wake up to when you go to bed um so then as soon as you lay in bed you just pass out do you know what i mean fill your time keep yourself occupied so you aren't just sitting around thinking about the one thing you're missing um but if you find yourself struggling you can absolutely get through it um

and don't be afraid to ask for help as well if you think you need a little bit more professional help i think asking for help was the strongest thing i ever did um but i think we can all figure out kind of where we are in the struggling spectrum and sometimes the best thing you can really do is just take a step away um and really give yourself some space because i think space and distance makes the heart grow fonder for honestly everything um but yeah tea breaks are great if you need a good pass packs or i need a good cbd my brain is already on it if you need a good cbd recommendation paz packs you already know my favorite the only people i really ever shout out on this podcast because they are the only people who have actually pulled through 24 7 as a brand

so shout out to them um you know the girlies in this podcast love paz packs but yeah they're great especially if you want to supplement something a little cart a little bit of flour whatever it is they got it um or even like gummies to help you fall asleep at night i love that as well um but paz packs you can use code smoke sash for 10 off um but yeah i think tea breaks are very healthy i find myself doing one at least hmm i would say a good two to three times a year um and that's i mean like i smoke a lot like let's think about it and usually when i do a tea break i usually do it for like three to four weeks because i usually get past week two and then i'm like oh this is easy and then I do it for a few more weeks and then I start smoking again but it really lowers

your tolerance like one month is enough for me to go back to like high school level you know what I mean like you're taking one rip and you're just like fucked up oh my god but hi Hannah my name's Caroline and I've been a listener of the pod since the beginning when you started in like last October or November and I can't believe it's almost been a year so I'm just here to say that the smoke sesh effect is real you've literally changed my life like I'm in such a better place mentally than I was when the podcast first started and yeah you've just really helped me be comfortable within myself and all that good stuff and I just wanted to share a funny story so in your most recent episode you're talking about how people thought they had car issues because of

your AC the other day I was driving home from school listening to an older episode and there was like sirens in the background and my ass literally pulled the fuck over to the side of the road and it took me like 15 seconds to realize that there wasn't an ambulance behind me anyways just thought I'd share love you bye oh my god this made me think I was like oh my god did I past the one year mark are we past the one year mark no october 12th is apparently where i posted my first ever podcast which is kind of crazy to think about it's almost been a year like what the fuck it's felt like three months while almost simultaneously feeling like three years do you guys know what i mean like it's felt like forever but i i love it i love this podcast i love hanging

out with you guys um so we'll probably do like a special like one year anniversary episode in a couple weeks so thank you for the reminder but also as you can hear right now yeah my there's just so many noises and things that i cannot not have because i like i wish i was a professional podcaster i wish i had my own studio with like sound equipment and you know like like insulation am i thinking of the right word insulation so like there's no outside noises or like i wish i had like a fancy house or apartment where there's just no noise unfortunately i'm not that girly unfortunate maybe one day and right now i'm just a girly who's living in her apartment and doing it from there and of course there's gonna be a bunch of random fucking noises um so i apologize

i apologize if you hear the sirens and you pull over that is so funny at least you're being safe at least you're being cautious i apologize if you think your car is having car troubles because of my ac it's hot here it's 70 76 in my apartment so i really do apologize but thank you for sticking out with me and showing up every week and hanging out with um with me every week because so many of you guys are joining and so many new people are finding this podcast i don't know i'm going through like a little resurgence of like new people are discovering this podcast and it's very exciting um just seeing how many new people are joining us and so welcome but also little heads up and small apology about the background noises it's unfortunately something that cannot be avoided

right now but if you bear with me i'm sure you know we'll slowly work our way up we'll get a little more professional with it you know what i mean so i talk about gut feelings a lot on this podcast I feel like or I have in the past at least um and now I think is a great time to talk about it because I keep getting questions revolving around the idea of like how do I know if this is right or I'm unsure of what to do or I don't know how to feel about this or where do I go from this and here's the thing i wish i could give you the very exact specific answer that you're looking for for any single type of thing you're going through i can give my input of course but better yet better yet are you ready you have the answer you know you are aware of what you need to do whether you have

decided to listen to yourself or not yet you know and those are simply put called gut instincts okay and i spent a majority of my life running as fast as i could from my gut instincts and from what my body and what my mind and what my you know gut was telling me and let me tell you this I was miserable because I didn't listen to myself and I didn't listen to what I truly wanted in that moment or in that time and I settled for someone else's ideal or I said I settled for what society wanted or I settled for what I quote-unquote thought was right but simply put you know what you want and the only way to kind of build that trust with yourself is to listen and act accordingly okay i have a little um excerpt i would like to read you guys about not trusting

your instincts um so here we go emotionally immature parents don't know how to validate their child's feelings and instincts without this validation children learn to give in to what others seem sure about as adults they may deny their instincts to the point where they um um kind of settle for relationships they don't really want they may then believe it's up to them to make the relationship work they may rationalize why they have to try so hard in the in the relationship as though it were normal to struggle daily to get along with your mate while effort is needed to maintain communication and connection in a relationship it shouldn't feel like constant on rewarding work the truth is if both partners fit each other understand each other's feelings

and are positive and supportive relationships are primarily pleasurable not arduous it isn't asking too much to generally feel happy when you see your partner or look forward to time together when people say you can't have everything they're really saying they don't have what they need as a human being you can trust yourself to know when you're emotionally satisfied you know when you've been given full measure measure you aren't a bottomless pit of ceaseless demands you can trust the inner prompts that tell you when something is missing but if you've been trained to discount your feelings you'll feel guilty for complaining if everything looks okay on the outside if you've a place to live a regular paycheck enough food and a partner or friends conventional wisdom says

how bad can it be many people can readily um enumerate all the reasons why they should be satisfied and be shy about admitting that they aren't they blame themselves for not having the quote-unquote right feelings so i think this is a good kind of reminder that you know you know when something is good you do you also very much so know when something is bad I think we've all been there the key is to tuning into those feelings and tuning in to what you truly want and what you truly feel that is what is necessary so when you guys are asking me like should I drop out of college should I change jobs should I date this person I you know will answer those sometimes because they're they're fun to answer and I get a lot of the same ones but also if I ever am not

answering your question and you really are like worried about this or trying to figure it out sit with yourself ask yourself how would I feel in this situation well how would I feel in this situation um how do i feel now how do i want to feel in the future and tune into that and then the key after that is to not deny yourself that trust and that intuition and acting upon it okay because every single time i've acted against my active gut my gut feelings shit has just not been good for me not been good for me because it feels like I'm tearing my soul away from my body and that in itself is never a good fucking feeling so when you start to feel that tear or maybe you have been feeling that tear or you're worried of feeling that tear from yourself ask

yourself what can I do right now to change to listen to my gut feelings to go with what feels right because you know you do i believe in you you need to trust in yourself and believe in yourself as well okay and it takes a little bit of practice it really does um it takes a little bit of learning about yourself of listening to these gut feelings to really tune into them and to be able to act and listen to them all the time but once you start it's addicting it is so very addicting and it is very hard to stop trust me i can only act on my gut feelings now um to some people's dismay i'm sure especially my parents i'm sure they would love a good little you know daughter who's a nurse right now but unfortunately that was just not the right path

for me that was not the right choice for me and here i am now sure very unconventional all the things I'm choosing to do probably very confusing for a large group and amount of people but the key here is it is not confusing to me to me it makes sense to me I feel comfortable to me I feel this understanding and this trust in myself and I feel that I am on the right path no matter what anybody else thinks do not let that get in the way of you listening to yourself okay because you you truly do know what is right all right i love you i do let's get into some more questions oh my god i just devoured my lunch and it was so good just let me tell you what i made um i've been in a wrap mood recently so i've been making a shit ton of wraps just because i love

like the softness and i love the crunch because i love lettuce so i took a just like a tortilla um a shit ton of lettuce some i only use olive oil mayo i don't know it's better i wish i had kewpie mayo but i only had olive oil mayo so i used that a tiny bit of salt and pepper um i used banana peppers okay okay and then i took roasted chicken and i shredded up some red yellow and orange pepper and i threw that in a pan and i cooked that up so it's nice and hot threw that on top of the lettuce with some mozzarella cheese wrap that bitch up literally i ate it in under a minute like a giant a wrap the size of my head i just it was so good oh my god i also like i said i need to stop spending money so cooking from home has been my new passion

i just bought a shit ton of pots and pans because i literally i've been here for three months three months with no pots and pans yeah it's that's an issue that is just straight up an issue so ordered me so ordered myself some pots and pans and now i can actually like cook big meals and i'm so excited i can't wait to share all my recipes with you guys i love cooking cooking has always been a passion of mine my parents always worked so like they would come home late at night and it was either like okay you they're gonna give me the instructions and i'm gonna cook before they get home or i'm gonna wait till they get home and then i'm gonna cook with them one of the two and usually i'm like hungry so i'm like i'm just gonna cook what we're having for dinner and start on it

so i have always been cooking and always been cooking for other people cooking for myself whenever like i would get really stressed out i would just like start baking i don't know why just because i needed to keep myself occupied and i'm very excited to dive back into that little passion and hobby of mine especially with my new space it's gonna be so good i need a little like i have a little bar table but i want like a a good dining table um or a bigger coffee table or something that i can actually like sit and eat at because uh there's just eating in bed or eating on a couch is just no fun you know what i mean um so yeah very excited about that love food oh my god oh this is a good question someone asked how do i make my space more comfortable

and make it feel like me i'm gonna sneeze oh my god i am so sorry if i just broke your eardrums um i think this is a great question um because this i feel like when i was younger at least in my childhood bedrooms i made myself comfortable that space was my space um i had things decorated how i wanted of course by whatever measure i could when i was like 9 10 11 12 you know what i mean um but i hung up things on the wall i painted my room the color i wanted it to be i would be up at like 3 a.m like rearranging things randomly and then once i kind of got into adulthood i started seeing things and like once I moved out of my childhood bedroom I started seeing things as more temporary and it was harder for me to build a home anywhere um so I never really put any effort

or idea into organization or into decorating or into making my space more me you know what I mean and now that I'm finally in my like new apartment I've really really tried to focus on making my space like built around me and it's completely shifted how I live day to day and honestly it's shifted it in a very positive way so I just want to touch on some things that have kind of helped me um you know reclaim my space because i feel like when i was just you know i was just in a space and i'd be like okay i'm here for a year you know like there's no need to paint the walls or to buy this thing like everything is so temporary why would i decorate why would i do this oh i'm never here so why but the thing is everybody needs their own space and needs their own area and needs

their own just place where they can go and they can relax and they can feel wholeheartedly themselves okay because even if you're very comfortable within yourself and comfortable with who you are we all have those days where we kind of want to just like retreat um and just be by ourselves and be fully immersed by ourselves and with ourselves and in order to do that you really have to have a space that connects with you because I remember not putting any effort or time or idea into where I was living and then I would want these days where I just want to hang out by myself and really just learn more about me and spend some time with me but the space I was in didn't really accommodate to that and it made it really hard to connect with myself because I felt

like I was wandering but now that I've really kind of built a home things things feel a lot more comfortable and a lot more better and a lot more cozy so a something something I've always done since I was younger is a lot of art and a lot of knickknacks I'm the kind of person who's like I might hang the bus ticket up on my wall you know like I don't care I have a weird way of organizing things I have a I have a weird way of collecting the items that I do collect but they all have meaning and they all have like a specific way that i like to like express myself through so like i'm looking right now at a lot of colors um a lot of pink something that i have never really felt free to lean into um i used to be a die-hard teal girly um until i realized i

really really love pink so i have this beautiful rug um which i realized if you look up oh my god this is so funny but if you look up the what's her name it's one of the daughters of one of the gettys let me find her name literally nancy pelosi was the like officiant ivy getty so ivy getty super mega rich girl had a wedding and in the chapel she filled the chapel with these pink and teal rugs and the whole entire chapel was filled with this pink these pink and teal beautiful rugs and i was looking at it and i was like oh my god that is the rug that i have in my living room they literally just had to have bulk bought like 50 of them off of where did i get it fuck what's that website called um oh my god dead dead air

dead air um what is the website i'm thinking of wayfair i literally i got it off of wayfair for like it was a little expensive like 350 dollars but i've had this rug with me for like four years and i will be taking it to the grave with me it's so beautiful it's so vibrant um and so colorful i also have this teal velvet not teal maybe like a dark green velvet couch um i wanted like a fun place to sit and multiple fun places to sit so i have a velvet couch i have like a little ikea chair that's pressed into like almost a reading nook and then i have multiple floor pillows which i love and are super easy to pull out if guests come over so then they don't have to sit on the floor or if the couch fills up um somebody has somewhere to sit comfortably so lots and lots

of colors um and lots and lots of art i'm a very visual person i have my own art hanging up i have other people's art hanging up I have like these cross stitching little signs that my someone found and they were like happened to be my grandpa's I guess and one says oh my god it's so cute one says by love compelled and has like a little heart kind of flower wreath around it and another one says we are not granted a lifetime to live all we get are moments live as if today is the last day of your life and remember someday you'll be right i was like oh love i also have these beautiful prints of like water lilies that i got in baltimore with my friends i have my collection of playboys and pinup books my collection of just novels that i have um so lots

and lots of art and colors and things like that i make sure i surround myself with my sheets on my bed are not white they are dark green i like a dark green and also like a light pink um any color literally works i like mix and matching patterns i'm about to get some cheetah print pillows for my dark teal couch and maybe some cheetah print pillowcases for my bed um especially going into winter i maybe want to change out my duvet right now i have a white one um just to bring some more light into the area i also have i was very intentional about the um the color of the wood that i wanted in my house and the color of metals so all of my furniture is either a gold color or a light brown like wood um and i have dark oak floors so it's a really nice contrast but i

wanted there to be some sort of like singularity there and some sort of match um when it comes to the metals and the wood like my bed frame is like a light color wood my easel's a light color wood i have like a wicker um stand that's like a light colored wicker i have like a really light oak table for my tv just little things like that once you have so many things in your space if they all match it really starts to add up and start to look cohesive and good um other things i fill my space up with as you guys know lots and lots and lots of plants i love plants um i have tons of propagations i have tons of little mini plants i'm starting flowers i love to go buy flowers um and i have a few vases around my house it just makes it feel more warm

inviting i have fun light fixtures i have um because my my apartment doesn't really let in a lot of natural lighting it does but then at night it's like you can't see shit you know what i mean um so i have some like lanterns like round lanterns that i have hanging up for my ceiling and some really fun lamps um i have just like a little table lamp sitting on my windowsill that i turn on sometimes it's nice i also have a very large gold overhead lamp that my boyfriend got me for christmas last year very sweet of him um but yeah it's all about just owning and claiming your space my dad comes into my apartment and he's like what's with all the boy boys like he has questions or whatever it is it doesn't matter what kind of questions people are going to have

about your space or the things that they're going to ask it's all about making yourself feel comfortable and feel at home so do that in any way that you possibly can i can't lie a lot of the things that i have bought for my apartment have not been brand new the only brand new thing that i think i've bought for my apartment is the rug which me and my parents split because they got me it for Christmas and my bed frame which was maybe $99 on Amazon so everything else I have either thrifted or I have gotten on a Facebook marketplace or from friends for a very very discounted price so you can do this on a budget you can ball on a budget you can find the deals you can do a little bit of hunting it just does require a little bit more waiting and a little

bit more patience and a little bit more of a keen eye in what you want so I really encourage you to maybe make a mood board fill up a big mood board with a bunch of different images of maybe spaces that you really enjoy architecture that you really enjoy and then look at it all as a cohesive group and find elements that are reoccurring themes throughout the photos. So one for me was, um, a lot of gold, um, gold furniture. So I was like, okay, I'm going to focus on a lot of gold when it comes to metal in any sort of design in my house. Um, a lot of like the big orb, you know, lantern lamps. So I made sure I got a few of those. I got those from Ikea for like what, five bucks. Like they were so cheap um just hang them up yourself very simple and you can literally hang them up

wherever and then to also make it a little bit more fun i got colored land uh colored lights that are connected to an app on my phone i got them on amazon a two pack for like 16 bucks and yeah from my phone i can turn them on off do like a white lighting a yellow lighting i can do a red pink blue any color i want which makes it really fun at night but it's really just kind of taking the time to think and to plan and to not be too impulsive and to really really just focus on what you want and how you want to express yourself and how you want to feel comfortable within your space what's most important to you for me personally coffee table tables in general not super important i don't have a coffee table i

have one side table or two side tables that are circular um and i use those interchangeably um as just like little desks almost i didn't want things to eat up space in my room so everything is kind of pushed back along the wall so i have way more open space um within my apartment i wanted a lot of whites and white lighting so i'm making sure that all of my blinds are pushed up and i'm allowing in all the light that i possibly can while also bringing in more kind of semi natural light from lamps and lanterns um i have a lot of candles i love candles i make sure my room smells good i make sure i'm staying on top of cleaning so i feel more comfortable in my space you know what i mean i really need to invest in a vacuum that's probably going to be my nest

my next big investment because right now i have like one of the little handheld vacuums and it's just not enough like i need a big girl vacuum you know what i mean and i'm tired of borrowing my mom's so it's just little things like that and really just taking the time and effort and energy to really think about what you want and how you want to design your space and it will come to fruition i promise um but i think having a space that you feel ultimately very comfortable in is very important very important and it really builds a sense of like comfortability i mean in my own home which is very important but also within myself and i feel more free to be myself within my own space instead of getting in my head and getting that kind of like weird third eye

perspective where you're like you know the feeling where it's like you're being watched but you're not being watched but you have to behave in a certain way I feel like to combat that you can really just own your space and own who you are and own the way you want to express yourself through your space and really reclaim it that's really really helped me so I hope that helps a little bit of a ramble hi Hannah so I was just calling in because I don't know if anyone else has asked or is wondering but I am how to wash our hoodies because I'm like very scared to wash it I've been like spot washing it but I don't know how to properly wash it and I was wondering if you could tell us um I'm so blazed right now okay anyways love you so much

this made me giggle this is so cute okay so I talked about this in my Instagram story but Instagram stories are so easy to miss I get it they are very sturdy all the only thing that my hoodies are sensitive to like all clothing I think is just heat so if you want to be extra careful I really recommend just um turning it inside out and washing it on a low heat they will absolutely be okay if you're worried about shrinkage i don't think they shrink very much but also like sometimes the heat and the shrinkage from a dryer might fuck it up so i also maybe recommend just like air drying you know what i mean i have like a little pop-up like air drying rack that i use for all my laundry that i can't um dry and honestly it's great i got it on amazon for like

10 bucks i hang a lot of my socks and hoodies and um pants up on them so i maybe recommend one of those but yeah they're very sturdy really the only thing they're sensitive to is heat um i do know that if you dry it or wash it on a very very high setting the like printing might curl a little bit but that can very easily be solved if you flip it inside out and take a iron on a very low heat setting and just simply iron it flat it should totally be okay so i hope this helps i'm so sorry you're worried really it's just like any other hoodie you can definitely wash it however you want but once again to preserve any type of clothing to wash it on a low heat setting and then air dry is always best case scenario but yeah i love you i'm glad we're both equally as

stoned as each other oh my god my entire tiktok feed is like adam levine adam levine adam levine i don't care i do not care every adult male in like the celebrity world is like always a cheater they always end up being one and i'm like what's going on i just feel so fucking bad for his wife could you imagine could you imagine okay three kids in well two kids one on the way and all of a sudden some girl on tiktok is being like i i was the la scene i didn't mean to i knew they were married but i didn't mean to and then your husband is also like i want to name our new our baby after my mistress no no no no no no no no no no i feel so bad for bahati i feel so bad for her i do and not in like a pitying way but more so in like a all right like this is your time to shine

this is your time to grow this is your time to leave ditch this man do you know what I mean um I mean but also with two kids another one on the way that's so hard but if you're ever somebody who find yourself in the position where you're just like oh my god this person has just hurt me over and over and over again you have to get away you have to break the cycle at that point your ego just is the only thing that wants to hold on nothing but your ego wants to hold on and that's because it's comfortable it's easy it is so easy to just like continue the same loop over and over again even though you know you're gonna get hurt that's where the comfortability comes from because you already know the outcome and in turn you feel like you have a sense of control that is not true

control. True control is understanding what position you're in and taking the next step to raise yourself to the higher level and the next position. So instead of continuing your life in a circle and ending back up in the same point that you started and finding comfortability in the pain because you know it's coming no matter what give into yourself take that next step forward behave as if it's a spiral movement and work your way outward work your way away work your way away oh my god from that um predictable outcome because until you kind of take advantage of your life and try and push yourself a little bit further and into a little bit better of a position i feel like it's very easy to get stuck in the same repetitive

harmful cycles you know what i mean and it's just so sad to see oh my god but literally that girl's video was like the first video my for you for you page yesterday oh my god am i having a brain aneurysm i'm misspeaking like every other word anyways it's a combination of the rap and my in the weed my brain is like on nap mode you know what i mean but uh yeah that video was the first thing i saw yesterday and i was like holy shit i feel i feel so bad and i know she's gonna level up and i know she's gonna be okay and i know i'm just hoping things get better you know for her not for the mistress or adam levine i could care less but at least for bahati like she is the true victim here that shit is crazy you know what i've never talked about on here is how i take my photos

um especially for instagram i taking photos is like now become my newest hobby especially because i just got a nice camera but before that taking photos and just documenting my life through my phone has been a big part of my life and something i very much so enjoyed and something that's also helped me kind of reconnect back into my everyday life um like literally i will see a pile of trash that i think just happens to look beautiful and i'm like yes i need to take a picture and then it's fun because like months later i'm looking back through my photos and i'm like you know what yeah that is a really good pile of trash i remember that day or like i'm taking photos at the farmer's market of the fresh fruit i'm taking photos of the growth

of my plants i'm taking photos of myself even if i don't look good it's just like a fun maybe little selfie i sent my boyfriend or a fun photo that i just took capturing how nice a day was photography is so fun and the importance that journaling holds as like a time keeper and as like a um a placeholder and like a documentation of time and travels i think photography can work the same exact way and should work the same exact way when i have hard times like figuring out how to romanticize my life and how to connect back into my life the first thing i do is i start trying to just snap more photos just anywhere i can of anything of a tree of a particularly nice leaf of a little bug of a stray cat of my friends of my family whatever it is whatever catches your eye

just snap a little photo of it um i feel like this is a really good way to kind of retrain your brain to look for moments of joy and to actively look for moments of peace and for moments to look forward to and the small simplicities of life that we usually take for granted um and it's a really fun way to kind of dive back into life you know what i mean but other than that like if you look at my instagram all of those photos other than the ones that i just posted today have been taken on my iphone and i love looking back through them because they're all at such very interesting points of my life and the way that i express myself and the way that i choose my photos and the way that i take my photos are all very expressional of who i am in that moment

um so like i just posted a photo of me next to a photo of like younger me and it's we're both in pink robes and it's cute because it's like although i'm so much different now and i'm 25 years oh my god not 25 how old am i i'm 23 but like 20 years older than i was in the photos of me at three years old you know what i mean i still have those small like pieces that i carry with me throughout the years and it's a fun kind of side-by-side comparison and looking back through the photos um it's just so fun it's so fun there's nothing more fun than looking back through like an old scrapbook or um old photos your family has printed off from when you were younger and I don't want to take this time for granted that I have because I know when I'm 50 I will want to be able

to look back and see um who I was and what I was doing at that time and you know photos of that so I've been trying to get more active into that when it comes to taking photos I just genuinely try and make sure that it is presented in a way that I very much so enjoy so it's like having that eye for decoration almost having that eye for finding this beautiful things in life because I feel like a lot of people are like you're from Kansas City how are you finding these places how are you you know taking photos like this how are you having a life like this when you live in a place that's not super well known nor a place that I think a lot of people quote-unquote romanticize and it's all about finding small joys and having that eye for small joys within your life and I

really try and depict that through my photos it really helps also having a boyfriend to take your photos for you or just a friend in general um but I also have just like propped up my phone on a sign on the corner of the street and stood in front of it or a window seal or a you know anything a tree branch um and just documenting myself if i feel like it but also documenting the space i am in and where i am i'm in and how i'm feeling you know like i think we've all been there but we're even taking like crying photos like photos of us sobbing and it's just like a raw and honest documentation of where we were i go back through my memories all the time and it's literally just sometimes pictures of me like snot rocket sobbing and it's like i'm glad

i documented that because i love to know what i was going through but also it's very interesting to see like oh my god i was having a breakdown this day and i thought the world was fucking ending but five years later i'm in a whole different position looking back on this one moment in time and like having a small laugh and understanding that like shit we all go through it and that's okay um but i think documenting time and documenting who we are especially in the very present moment whether you feel good or not is so very important because down the line you are going to want to see these things and to look back no matter how you're feeling right now um there's a little something i want to read you read you guys um that i think will kind of wrap up this idea

um oh okay it's so hard to romanticize where you are now and like i get it it always feels like the least beautiful time to be in the worst point in history your flop era etc but it's not though every day i'm amazed at the nostalgia i get for the past where i was objectively worse and more on fire than i am now like it doesn't make sense until you realize nostalgia is often just a feeling just you feeling regret that you didn't fully experience what you had at that time and it's called it's a call to enjoy where you are now because it truly is a unique part in your life no matter what is happening because life is a fleeting gift like it is experience every moment fully it's what your future self deserves when she looks back at you now so love photography

love romanticizing nostalgia has a feeling is a feeling i have been chasing my whole entire life i have two tattoos dedicated to it um until i realized that i can really take control of feeling of nostalgia by really just enjoying who i am at this moment for better or for worse you know what i mean i think especially during this mercury retrograde season it is a fantastic time to practice balance and balance in our lives because simultaneously i am being pulled in two different directions one part of me wants to go absolutely off the rails bonkers insane crazy like like like 20 year old hannah crazy which we cannot go back to no we cannot um another part of me wants to be so in control of my life and so on my boss girl energy shit that it is it's kind

of unhealthy how motivated and how much i want to get shit done so when i find myself being pulled in two very opposite directions that's when i have to really just sit down and take the time to try and find balance in myself because there's a devil on one shoulder and there's an angel on one shoulder and the trick to surviving is to listen to both of them okay listening to the angel all the time is you're not gonna have a lot of fun okay you're gonna work really hard and you're probably gonna succeed but but throughout the whole entire time you are not gonna have a lot of fun and you're probably gonna hate yourself the entire time now if you only listen to the devil okay you're also you're gonna have a lot of fun you're gonna have a lot of fun but at the end

of the day you're gonna wake up and really really hate who you are and the things you've done so listening to one or the other is not the healthy choice the healthy choice is to find a good and common middle ground between the two in order to find a really healthy balance between the two i like to split my days into two different ways in the morning is when i am on very productive shit doing my shit getting my shit done and on the evening is when i can give in and go a little crazy you know what i mean oh my god i have the hiccups i'm so sorry but you know what i mean take a take a hit every time i say you know what i mean i think it's been a million times this podcast episode i'm so sorry about that um but i wake up i have my moments you know sit down drink

my coffee kind of organize my day and then i jump into it and if you have a hard time jumping into it the best way to jump into it is to put your shoes on okay because as soon as i put my shoes on i don't know what it is my brain immediately is like okay we got to go somewhere we got to do something what are we doing where are we going you know what i mean so take a moment you know catch a little breather and then get your shit done okay nothing feels better than getting my shit done in the morning because if i'm being honest after the clock strikes strikes like four my brain is over it i'm done it is really hard for me to get shit done so i try and lean into that motivated feeling as much as i can especially in the mornings okay um so all those to-dos i

don't want to do that's happening in the morning cleaning my room especially that's happening in the morning deep cleaning anything dishes that's gonna happen in the morning running my errands going and picking up groceries that's gonna happen in the morning all right doing my podcast doing my patreon whatever it is all of those tasks like if i had school work i would probably do that in the morning if i had classes i would try and get them done in the morning okay because by the time i don't know i've been conditioned this way from the american school system the time the fucking bell strikes three o'clock or four o'clock or whenever your school gets out that my brain is just over it like it is done i wake up early i wake up at like eight or nine o'clock so by three

or four i am like it is a relax mode okay and that is when i kind of give into my more like is hedonistic a good word that side of me you know the devil side of me if i want to if you want to go out for drinks and you want to party and you want to have a good time with your friends i don't think you should hold yourself from doing so i tried to be a perfect little angel girl baby for like years and it made me feel so left out and so like withheld from my friends because i put too much emphasis on getting my shit done you have to find a healthy work-life balance okay so get your project done get your homework done get your tasks done in the morning so when your friends are hitting you up at six seven o'clock or you're the ones hitting your friends up you have time to go

out and go and party and have fun all right that is very important okay if you're not the party type i get it i can't really lead too far into that side of me because i get a little too crazy you know what i mean um so i really like to lean into the lazy self-care kind of version of myself i am a sucker for just laying around and doing nothing or going out and eating really good food or just getting really really high and like doing some art like things that i don't always have time for that is when I that end of the day kind of moment is when I start like prioritizing um you know leaning into the quote-unquote devil side and the more like relaxed more um what's the word for it I guess you know you're more like worldly if that makes sense I don't know that's when I

really give into it though and I feel like being able to break my days up and have them kind of have those times kind of separate it really really builds a good balance in my life because if I'm the kind of person who just works and works and works and works and works and works and that's all I'm focusing on I'm gonna burn out very very quickly as much as I would like to think I'm not gonna burn out I am I'm gonna have a mental breakdown I'm gonna lose it a little bit you know what I mean you have to build in times to kind of lean the opposite direction and lean into leisure and lean into having fun and lean into or away from that work mode mentality you want to keep the you want to keep the ball rolling you want to keep the momentum going you want to

um stretch out that period of time that you can you know be motivated as long as you can and in order to stay motivated for a long period of time i really have to find a good balance it's not me just completely leaning into the motivation and burning myself out it's me understanding that okay i'm gonna break up my time i'm gonna do as much as i can within this window of time but also i'm gonna allow myself to relax and to be myself and to have a little bit of fun especially within this short lifetime we're given you know we got to have as much fun as we can it can't be all about work and it can't be all about play but work and play they do go hand in hand so especially during this mercury retrograde if you find yourself feeling overwhelmed or confused or

pulled in either direction i think this is just a really good moment to remind everybody about balance and finding that healthy you know balance within our life i thought i'd end this podcast on just like a little fun one and talk about my current favorites um of the past like week and month um everything from food to clothing to accessories to health and wellness just everything that's kind of bringing a little bit of joy into my life um because I think we can all kind of feel the stagnant energy in the air and I think all the girlies are on the verge we're on the verge of being tired on the verge of being sad on the verge of breaking down on the verge of we're just trying to survive you know what I mean and so when we're just trying to survive and we're just trying to

power through a little bit um those little things that do bring us joy and happiness every day I think are very important and i think we should really lean into those especially during this time um i think that kind of energy i was picking up from my questions on my instagram has everybody right now is just exhausted okay and something that i've recently discovered is cbd bath bombs cbd bath bombs i know those bitches i like have never been so close to passing out in the bathtub i have a fear of drowning um especially in bathtubs i'm just so afraid that i'm gonna fall asleep and like sink down um but this has been the closest and calmest i've ever been to falling asleep in a bathtub and cbd bath bombs have kind of been my go-to helps lower anxiety i always show

up with like a bunch of bruises from work randomly which really sucks my shoulders are always hurting my feet are always fucking hurting so bath bombs are always fun a bath is always fun but cbd bath bombs are kind of the fucking shit you can find them anywhere um there's not a specific brand that i'm obsessed with or a specific type that i'm obsessed with um i have been just trying to explore and interact with new different things and yeah this one this one has been a vibe also hanging up eucalyptus in your shower is amazing i love hot showers i love standing in the shower for like 30 40 minutes i love baths so any way to kind of elevate that experience and take my time and slow down with my self-care routine instead of instead of just trying to rush

through it is really incredible and really important so cbd bath bombs love another thing is candles but not necessarily just any candle specifically um beeswax candles um I walk into my apartment and it smells like there is a beehive inside of it um it smells like there should be bees flying around everywhere I'm going um and it smells like honey which is kind of incredible and the best fucking feeling ever so my most recent purchase which was a little bit pricey but it has 40 plus hours of burn time was this cutesy little um like molded natural beeswax candle and it smells so good right now it's sitting on my altar space but it is from the company let me find it um mirth oh uh alisa mazella.com so a-l-y-s-i-a-m-a-z-z-e-l-l-a.com

she is the creator of this and i love it and it's incredible it's all homemade small business so if you want like the best smelling candle ever yeah yeah beeswax natural beeswax candles love okay another thing which I have actually been filling up and I'm ready to buy a new one just ready to get a new color I think is my journal journaling is always important journaling is always great it's a great way to escape my brain or even just to time keep time travel whatever it is and i've been slowly filling my pages and running out of space so it's about time i buy a new one but my favorite by far is um fuck what brand is this it's just the moleskin journals um i just always have one on me i wish i had one with blank pages and line pages unfortunately i

can't find it so i settle for lined pages for now but moleskin is the best i always purchase that and then i have these wonderful pens which are still going strong like two years later none of them have dried out but they're the stead oh my god stedtler triplus fine liner it's spelled s-t-a-e-d-t-l-e-r i got them from like barnes and noble they're kind of expensive you can probably get them for way cheaper on amazon but i've had them for a few years and they haven't dried out i use them all the time i love having an array of colorful pens with me um so that is kind of a necessity in my bag my hair oil has been on my list for the past seven months my favorites list so you know it's a good purchase i think it was like 30 bucks but it's the bread hair oil it is incredible nothing

has made my hair this soft it's finally growing again thank god i think it was just so dry that it wasn't growing or it was probably growing but it was just breaking all the time and so now that i've kind of put the time and effort back into my hair and hydrating it especially with this hair oil and just braiding it and having the oil my hair all day or even going to bed with the hair oil then showering in the morning one of the two um but it really really really has fixed my hair and now i'm i'm finally realizing um how much my hair has really changed specifically for the better from this one product i want like hair to my fucking ass i used to have hair that went all the way down to my ass in like high school and then i cut it all off before i went to college

um just like up to my shoulders and i regret doing that because then i also dyed it like a bleach blonde and i just killed my hair and i'm trying to get back to where i was um so hair health has been very very important to me another thing that's been important to me greek yogurt i'm not even kidding greek yogurt in the morning if i wake up i always have this issue where my tummy is always upset sorry i needed to hydrate important reminder go hydrate um but i wake up in the morning and sometimes my tummy is upset from a variety of reasons a maybe i didn't drink enough water b maybe i ate something bad yesterday or didn't eat enough um c maybe i took too many dabs and um i take so many dabs at night it just like speeds up your metabolism and makes you process

your food and your like nutrients way faster and so you wake up really really hungry um maybe my tummy is just like in a bad mood and the best way to soothe this is with greek yogurt my favorite is the honey and oat greek yogurt from aldi i just get a giant tub i get some fresh berries or something and I get some like granola they had some really cheap granola at Aldi this week and I just sit in my bed as soon as I wake up and I munch on some yogurt and some granola and I feel like that has really really helped my stomach and any sort of like weird stomach problems that I have taken on because it is a very helpful probiotic um another helpful probiotic is kimchi which i always try and munch on whenever i'm at work i just try and get it in wherever i

can and what's better than like kimchi and also what's better than um yogurt you know what i mean i've been really craving a kimchi fried rice recently so i might make that i kind of want to do a mukbang on my patreon i feel like that'd be fun so let me know what you want to watch me eat and chat about um what else what else i've been meaning books of course have been in my rotation recently but i've been meaning to get my fingers on size wounds a new book god i want it so bad none of the publishers around me or like bookstores around me carry it which is kind of sad so i'm gonna wait a couple weeks and hopefully it'll be in the here in the mail soon after i order it but i've been meaning to get my fingers on a new book i just love a new book um and then

let's see last but not least we'll go with oh i got a new pair of sunglasses i always try and find a new pair of sunglasses for the season i'm entering um and this season i got a pair of these like cat like soft cat eye round muumuu glasses from ebay they are so cute i got them for like 60 bucks it was such a steal um and also i love whenever you're buying a sung like a sunglass sunglass whenever you're buying sunglasses make sure you are also buying it that and having it come with the case because the case the sunglass case itself acts as like a secondary purse um whenever i don't want to carry a giant purse or whenever i need a way to organize all the small little things in my purse i throw it in the hard shell sunglasses case um so in my sunglasses case

right now i have like my headphones i have eye drops i have let's see chapstick i have a pair of earrings i have my sunglasses obviously but it's all just like a bunch of random shit that i don't want just sitting at the bottom of my bag and i don't want to have to just like dig through my bag for and it's also the stuff that i need daily so if i don't want to carry around my bag like my purse i just take the sunglasses case and i throw it in my tote or i throw it in my pocket or whatever it is um in order to uh get my important shit with me wherever i need to go so yeah love that that has been amazing but yeah those have kind of been my favorites recently if you guys have any favorites that you've been loving i would be more than happy to try them out

if you let me know i'd be more than happy to give them a shot or give them a shout out so let me know my dms any way to kind of better my life and how i live you know i'm all here for it you know i am babes but i hope we're surviving and i hope we're persevering and i hope we're you know handling our mistakes and our trials and tribulations with grace and don't be too hard on yourself during this time and don't be too down on yourself and understand that everything is working in your favor um whether it feels like it or not which a lot of the times it might not feel like it trust that things things will go well for you in the end you know what i mean i have been feeling the draining energy here recently the last push of summer kind of came where i am

it's like 98 99 outside it's supposed to finally cool off after today but it's kind of that last draining heat push of summer um and although my body my brain is over it i'm trying to just take it one day at a time and appreciate every day that i have because soon enough there's going to be like five feet of snow and our situations are going to completely and drastically change so i love you all i hope we're handling mercury retrograde well i kind of want to do a confessionals episode soon i've been seeing a lot of you guys message me for a confessionals episode so if you are interested in that um or if there are specific specific topics that you maybe want me to touch on or i would also love it if you went back through my old podcast and found

topics that you really connected with if you message me those i would love to hear them because i would love to touch on them again and see if i have any new insights or see if i have anything i want to kind of change about them maybe like since i've grown from my past episodes um i think that would be really fun to get into so let me know anything that's on my on your mind my dms are open at hannah marlene also a lot of you guys have been submitting your voice like call-ins in my instagram dms by recording like a voice recording in the dms unfortunately i cannot use those but i still want to hear your lovely amazing voice um all you have to do is go to the link in my bio and then go to like the call-in section and it should take you directly

to the space where you can just leave your voice recording and it only allows you to do up to a minute so if you want it to be longer it allows you to do a description so just do like part one or part two you know what i mean however much you need but i love you all so so much and i really hope you're having an amazing week and i hope we're powering through um all of this weird energy that is in the universe right now because there is a lot of the chaos is in the air it is in the air and i kind of love it you know the devil part of me loves it but the angel part of me is terrified so once again i'm trying to find that balance and trying to find that chill that cool level uh cool level headedness you know what i mean and i hope you guys can find it as well but

i love you i will see you all again soon and once again any questions at all any suggestions any ideas call-ins you can find those all on my instagram at hannah marlene and i will see you all so soon.