Smoke Sesh - in my healing era & full moon rituals

Episode Date: July 12, 2022

Happy Tuesday! Todays episode is chaotic but we talk about the upcoming full Capricorn moon and how to navigate, full moon rituals & what I’ve got planned. We talk growth, change, ambition, books, sex life & comfortability, adhd tips, fav smoothie recipes. We have some fun call ins and talk weed, mental health, & training men on taking good photos (lol) and most importantly we talk trusting yourself & gut instincts, and of course much much much much more. Remember to submit all questions to the Instagram @ hannahmarlene and I’ll see you all next week MUAH !

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Oh my goodness, good morning everyone, how are we doing today? i feel cracked out i feel cracked out if you didn't listen to the last episode go do that now go go do that for some context but as my girlies know i have been obsessed with this drink

swamp water no do not go up to a barista and order a swamp water they will look at you like you're crazy but it's just a matcha latte oat milk obviously oat milk girlies rise um and then a shot of espresso on top of that literally cracked the fuck out but here's the thing cracked out in a way that i don't have anxiety like i'm like all right what the fuck do i need to get done what can i do what what are we doing what's the plan for the day girlies let's get shit done you know what i mean i saw this tiktok the other day if you're an adhd girly as well um i saw a tiktok the other day that's like when you're productive or when you need to be productive you need to get up first thing as soon as you wake up and do a productive task so you're setting your brain for

that mindset to um you know get shit complete you know you don't get stuck in that lull phase i was also talking to my dad who is um you know the one who handed me that gene handed it down to me thank you dad love that he is the adhd king you know constantly constantly like moving grooving doing shit like brain going a thousand miles per hour um of course you know i took after him a little bit but we were going to pick up this shelf from facebook marketplace the other day for my new apartment and he was like yeah you know when i when i need to be busy i have to get up and i have to just like get all my shit done in the morning so the afternoons i have for just like the random tasks that I need to get done or the random shit that comes to mind and I was like

okay all right you know I'll give it a shot you know like whatever I guess there might be some truth behind this so this morning I woke up and like I didn't even get on my phone I just woke up and immediately just got the fuck out of bed went and got some coffee and then I went and hit the thrift store like I know that's not a super productive task but I got myself up got myself to get myself rolling literally like eye boogers still in my fucking eyes like rubbing crusties out of them as i'm driving to walk into the coffee shop um and then i went to the thrift store i found some really cute stuff i've been loving coffee table books recently like i'm not huge on like knickknacks and decor because i feel like they usually end up getting broken or i want to

switch them out periodically so i've been just collecting coffee table books and like art books and magazines as like a way to decorate and i found this pinup magazine i found this cheetah print like skirt like the sheer skirt and then this top that's super cute and it kind of was reminding me of stuff i've seen on my pinterest board so i just cut it up a little bit made it fit the aesthetic and you know we're off to a good fucking start dare i say this caffeine is pumping through my veins i think well i ordered my dream bag the other day i'll post a picture of it on instagram but i ordered my dream bag it's a balenciaga um twiggy bag in like pink and it's coming and today i'm so excited they like express shipped it to me i was like thank god

because they were quoting me a month since it comes from overseas um and i was like that's not gonna work especially for the money i paid so they express shipped it to me and it's like gonna show up today so check the instagram we'll be posting photos of that speaking of i need to post a photo today as well because i took some cute pics um but other than that don't have a whole lot of updates my ac has been broken for a week so i have just been you know trying to get by especially with this 100 degree fucking weather we've been having um yeah and when it comes to things that you know someone else is messing up in your life for whatever reason stand up for yourself and take accountability um in a way that's kind of you know helping you like i could sit here and not have ac

for a week it's supposed to be done by tomorrow but i could sit here and not have ac for a week and have to find alternative housing and stay with my boyfriend and drive 30 minutes to work um and like just be fine you know or i could contact them and be like i need 10 days every single day that i wasn't able to stay there covered off my bill at the end of the month and so i said that being like they might say no they might say yes you know it's a gamble whatever i'll ask it never hurts to ask you know what are they gonna do say no cool that's not gonna hurt my feelings it's what i'm already assuming is gonna happen but if they say yes incredible love that i just made fucking three hundred dollars basically and they were like no totally we can

absolutely do that we're so sorry i was like score win win for hannah so lesson learned ladies stand up for yourself ask for what you need never be afraid to ask because literally like what is the worst that's gonna happen they're gonna say no why are we so afraid of rejection like if that's the worst case scenario someone saying no or you know what you're thinking is gonna happen maybe not happening cool whatever it happens we take that as a life lesson we move on and we appreciate ourselves for you know speaking up for ourselves and standing up for ourselves and asking for what we truly want because you'd be surprised what the outcome usually is because it's usually not no usually people are on your side and usually people want to help so take that risk babes but

i am on one today so we're just gonna jump into some questions i'm ready to get rolling are you we might smoke a little bull here in a second while my caffeine wears off so feel free to load one and let's get into it oh okay before we get going we need to do some full moon work okay full moon is on oh shit is it on wednesday it's the capricorn full moon so my capricorn moon has been at a all-time fucking high like i am just in the mood to get shit done to work my ass off to further myself in life um so the full moon is on 7 13 so i guess that's tomorrow yeah wednesday i was right i just wanted to make sure i knew the full moon was coming up because a my period start thank thank fucking god okay i was saying a prayer every single day this month that my period would

star um she's here we love that love that for her um but it's also called the buck full moon okay so it's capricorn full moon capricorn sign is all about hard work it's all about furthering yourself furthering your career um i would say furthering your interpersonal relationships if that is a part of your career that's a part of your drive your self-motivator but to be quite honest i feel like capricorn placements are very reserved they're very self-focused um slightly judgmental so i really encourage you to let go and release that right now if you can um but it's called the buck full moon because this full moon in kind of nature is all about well this is the season where the bucks the deer start to shed their thick skin on their antlers to help them grow and to kind of

build up new newer bigger antlers as we approach the fall winter seasons where they were oh my god where they will need that to compete for food so the buck full moon is all about shedding and releasing and growing into your new self and growing into your highest self and breaking those like generational curses that kind of keep us stuck in one place and keep us from growing and keep us from changing into the person that we want to be and into the person that we need to be so for this full moon i really really encourage you to yes manifest usually i would say leave that for new moons but I think with it being in Capricorn this is a great great opportunity to really just focus focus on who you want to be where you want to be one of my favorite practices

is um getting out my journal or even your notes app do this at like 3 a.m too I love the creative energy that comes at night unless you're a morning person um I really really love like the kind of dreaminess and the inspiration that nighttime brings um but literally sit down and write out like who do you want to be in five years and i'm not talking characteristics it could be characteristics i'm not talking about job i mean it also could be that but like visualize yourself visualize where you want to be um like like it could be anywhere in the world it could be with any amount of people with whoever you want by yourself like write down the details of what your home is going to look like what your apartment wherever you are um do you have any pets what

kind of things are you going to surround yourself with what's going to be your go-to like favorite thing um what kind of yeah characteristic traits do you want maybe what job do you want to do and like detailed write it all out get creative with it be uh feel free to like you know go against the bounds and the limits that you really set your set for yourself kind of subconsciously and really just take a moment to dream and have fun dreaming and set yourself up for success you know what i mean we have to have this little bit of delusion this little bit of dream in order to achieve what we want to and so it's really important to yes sit down and daydream for a little bit because that will give us the base for what we need to set up and what um like goals and

habits we need to set up to achieve that kind of base um so i did that the other day and that really got me inspired now i'm making a lot of to-do lists i'm doing a lot of fucking work um and i'm trying to make sure that every single day i am crossing things off my to-do list whether it is like you know wake up go to the thrift store or small things like i need to go to the bank and deposit money or big things like okay i gotta get this podcast done and i gotta have a merch drop and i'm gonna start my patreon soon like it could be anything that you are trying to get done just write it down and the simple act of writing it down and crossing it out feels so so incredible especially for like a very motivated highly motivated time um that is you know the moon

in Capricorn right now I guarantee it will bring a lot of like um self-fulfillment and really appreciation for yourself I don't know why Capricorn is such a type a placement but they are really all about money about career about success about hard working so I think those are kind of the four big things that you really need to focus on so this Capricorn um full moon is the biggest and brightest full moon of the entire year the super full moon in Capricorn carries in a wave of good luck and prosperity and drives us forward towards our dreams and desires major themes are strength ambition abundance personal development and release like I said you were shedding that old skin we can feel it tightening up on ourselves we can feel it holding ourselves back and you're

probably thinking of a few certain things release it let go now is the time to do so and if you don't do so you'll probably just feel worse about yourself you'll probably feel um more restricted it hurts to rip the band-aid off yes but if you do it slowly it's gonna hurt way more than if you just rip that shit off and you keep going and you grow into your full potential you know what i mean anyways i don't think this is a time for scarcity mindset it's not a time for you know feeling down this is a very powerful very energetic time yes releasing and shedding old habits old almost like generational curses is hard but with you know some trouble there's a lot of payoff and the payoff will be so much more worth it when you feel 10 times more comfortable

in yourself 10 times more comfortable in your skin and 10 times more confident in who you are as a person so great themes this week babes i'm very very excited maybe i'll put on patreon like a little full moon ritual but i'm still working on the patreon it should be out by the end of the week and then i'm hoping fingers crossed merch can be put out next week so keep an eye out follow the instagram at hannah marlene you already know uh for all the updates on merch and stuff but I am so excited I'm so excited all right so let's dive into some questions you guys sent me a shit ton and I'm very um very excited to get into them first of all someone asked for please recommend books the ones you read seem so interesting

like I said um I'm a very visual person I love finding inspiration not only through my phone but recently through books and things that i'm collecting like at thrift stores as well like i said i collect coffee table books uh magazines anything that seems inspiring interesting um even just like random books that you can find like i really recommend half price books because you know it's coming from a pre-loved house something that somebody was probably passionate about it's gonna be a cheaper price point and also it's like a gamble every time you go in there what you're gonna find so i just picked up this book at the thrift store that i will definitely use for like inspiration whether it's art inspiration whether it's like um aesthetic

inspiration or just something to look at when i need a little pick-me-up but it's called the great american pin-up um and it's just a bunch of photos of like um old pin-up artists and their work and about them and it's super interesting and it's really really beautiful and i kind of love like the poses that they do so just simple things like that i collect playboy magazines i collect high times magazines um and then when it comes to books like actual books that i'm reading right now i'm revisiting bell hooks all about love any of bell hooks writing is incredible but specifically all about love because for some reason love is the only thing on my mind right now and I love love and I've been really trying to dive into it and um you know get into it and

really understand to its full potential what it's about this cancer cancer season has like a choke hold on me I can't lie um so I'm revisiting that one just kind of re-getting into it and then another book that I've been carrying on me recently is it's one I got at half price books but it's called erotic love poems of ancient greece and rome it's just a collection of love poems um and that's just really fun to get into um simply because they're short easy to read pretty easy to digest and you know a little bit inspiration there but i really recommend thrift stores half price books if you have them in your area or just like any sort of like um thesis books bell hooks is a great author if you guys have any recommendations also please please feel free to

hit me up in the dms about your favorite books i would love to hear about them and i would also love to share them oh this is a good one um any favorite smoothie recipes me my mom have always loved making smoothies together don't know why she she drinks one like every single day very simple just get like any sort of frozen fruit combination that you like our go-to is like pineapple and um like mixed berries some orange juice a glob of some uh greek yogurt i like honey oat greek yogurt and then um kale or spinach and um some orange juice and i don't think you really need ice because it's frozen fruit but that's my go-to i think it's really good i love a good greek yogurt smoothie oh how do you self-care when you're on your period good question considering

mine just started you know when you just like randomly bleed throughout the months and like you'll just like randomly have a little bit of like blood and you're like what's going on is this my period is it starting fully that kind of happened yesterday and i was like is this the first day or is this just like a random you know and i told my boyfriend i was like i hope it sticks he's like what do you mean you hope it sticks i was like i don't know sometimes you just randomly bleed i don't know being a girl is fun anyways self-care in your period to me looks like understanding your body not doing the bullshit like i'm just gonna binge and eat ice cream and lay in bed all day and you know ignore my body in any way possible i don't think that's self-care

um you know it is from the standpoint of like men trying to white or write a realistic quote unquote realistic female character in movies but for me personally the biggest things that I have done to make my period more manageable to make it you know not as agonizing and not as horrible and awful as the ones that I have experienced is to really learn what my body likes and what it doesn't So I used to have really, really heavy, bad periods, like throwing up from the amount of cramps I was having. One of the biggest drastic changes that I had to make was finding a birth control that really helped with that.

I love my IUD. I think it really, really has helped with it. You wouldn't think that cramps plus a plastic thing inside your uterus would really help in any sort of way, but I think it has. you know everybody reacts to hormones and their birth control differently so i say look into it for what kind of things you want treated but for me the first step was really just kind of getting control of those cramps and that heavy heavy bleeding i would bleed so much that i would just bleed through my clothes like i'm talking super plus tampon every 30 minutes to an hour like i

was anemic for the from the amount of blood i was losing it was insane so getting control of that was step one self-care step two was finding a way to manage it throughout the week um that it is going on I used to be a tampon girly simply for convenience simply for you know not wanting to have a pad or not wanting to you know I don't know my mom was a tampon girly so I was like sure I'm into it but I realized tampons make my cramps way worse way worse have no idea why I don't know if it's just because it's in close proximity to you know the area that is cramping but it gives me almost more cramps so I switched as we all know I'm a fleet a free bleeding girly I love free bleeding if you're at home for your period if you're chilling at home put a little towel down

okay just just bleed onto the towel like sure it's a mess but it's okay to be messy sometimes especially when it's going to make you more comfortable you know throw a little towel towel down free bleeding your boyfriend's boxers it it doesn't matter order some boxers um thanks underwear is like a underwear brand that you can like actually bleed into and it catches it all really recommend that but yeah i've learned that putting anything inside of me personally this could be very different for all people um makes my cramps worse for some reason so uh i always of ibuprofen on deck and i'm always making sure i'm drinking a ton of water very important caffeine yes important but water even more so important just for brain function just for cramping just

for headaches any sort of nausea that you're gonna get water is a go too also making sure that i'm eating um pretty regularly and making sure that i'm like not just binging out on really unhealthy foods during my period um although that is what i want to do and it's great and it's wonderful and i do do that to an extent i just make sure that every single thing i'm eating is not super duper unhealthy um simply because this is so gross but i have to tell you um you know when you get cramps and it feels like you need to shit like you know when it's you're cramping but also you're like oh my god do i need to poop like what's happening if you have healthy bowel movements which healthy bowel movements come from you eating relatively good foods or having enough fiber or having

enough greens in your diet and not all taco bell you know your shits are going to be normal the cramps aren't going to be as bad but if you are eating taco bell all week on your period and dairy and ice cream and you're having the runs all week that in combination with your period and the cramps and the blood is just not gonna be a fun combo so I really just recommend trying to make sure you're staying on top of you know eating habits your body paying attention to it and you know I love a good heat pad I love a good ice cream treat yourself a little bit you are going through a hard period of the month I understand it's okay to treat yourself in whatever way necessary but also I think paying attention to your body is the biggest self-care thing that you can really do

oh someone asked I don't know if you've talked about this before but what do you believe happens when you die I can't lie I genuinely believe nothing happens I it's like you know you close your eyes and then it's just poof like just empty blackness I don't believe there's any consciousness after life and that's okay I don't think that's scary in any sort of way because we have so many years on this planet to enjoy it to live it to do so many different things but do i believe anything happens after life no simply because i don't believe in an afterlife or a god or really any religion so but if you believe it's different like totally valid love that because we do not know we we don't know that's the greatest mystery to life is what happens after but one day we will all find

out very exciting things not sure if this is tmi but can you please discuss about normalizing squirting i think it's normalized babe i think it totally is i think okay also weirdly i don't know why i think most men like it i don't know if you're in a heterosexual relationship or interested one but i feel like most men like it for some reason because it's like a visualization like an actual visualization like they constantly get a visualization of when they're coming because they literally just like jizz everywhere ew gross anyways so it's like the the kind of only time that you would get a quote-unquote visualization of a woman orgasming um even though there's other ways you know what i mean so i think most men like it i think it is normalized i think you just have

to get comfortable with it with yourself and also warn your partner about it beforehand maybe put a towel down be like listen i get a little messy you know fun fun things but i think it's normalized when it happens to me it's very random i can't lie it it is very random but love it great for you that is a gift I can't like that is a gift okay hi Hannah um my name is Melanie this is so weird because it feels like I'm just talking to a phone and like I want to like see your face anyways um I wanted to ask about like creativity and like how you find it after like straining yourself so much for like a long period of time so a little backstory I had a small business well I do have a small business it is currently closed um I make jewelry um I don't want to like

promote myself now because I feel like I haven't shown like my best art if you know what I mean um but like I've been so used to like the same ideas and like I don't know how to create something different and i'm trying to like look for outlets to where oh it's only a minute miss girl what do you understand what i'm saying like where do you find your creativity okay love this question um so i feel like i need to start with where i lose my creativity to find out where i um kind of can build it up so you said you know you're trying to do things different but it's hard to do things different because you know in whatever sort of way especially in the jewelry world right now I feel like there's certain trends that are going on there's certain like

beads and types of things that everybody is using and it's hard to break that so to step away from it I would really really encourage you to go back to what inspired you in the first place and what inspired you in the first place was probably not the images that you're seeing right now or the trends that are going on right now, it is simply things that you are drawn to by a gut feeling and creating for the sake of creating, not creating for the sake of business or to get that perfect item or to get that perfect thing. If you're chasing perfection, that simply will not ever happen. Perfectionism is kind of an accident. My most perfect creations are kind of the things that i like put zero time zero thought zero really process into and then it somehow works out now you

know sometimes you do plan it does work out but i really really encourage you to go back to the root to your roots to what inspired you in the first place to get a little creative with it to try new mediums that you maybe wouldn't have tried if you're in jewelry specifically you might maybe work with a new metal type maybe work with beads that you've never worked with before um types of uh you know just anything that you maybe would be like this is out of my comfort zone but you have to push yourself out of that comfort zone in order to grow in order to try new things and i also need to remind you that it's okay to make mistakes and it's okay to make things you don't like very very important i have to make a thousand things i don't like in order

to make one thing that i really really do like simply because i'm a perfectionist the key is to continuously create and this is something that I have an issue with but to continuously do it you can't just do one thing a week and assume that that one thing every single week is going to be the most perfect creation that there is you need to do a thousand things a week so you can have 999 fails you know things that you don't like things that you can learn from things that you can grow from and then you do have a handful of things that you really do like things that you really enjoy things that inspired you things that you're proud of but creating simply for the creation of perfectionism is never going to feel good and you're going to be chasing yourself like

a dog chasing its tail the key is to keep going to keep creating to tear things up to rip things up to start over to learn from what you're doing and even take inspiration from other people that's okay but don't copy other people don't try and you know set yourself up to be like other people it's very important to find your own voice within that but try new things get out of your comfort zone a little bit and really i really encourage you just keep doing it even if it feels wrong even if you're not excited about it you'll be surprised what happens at the end of the day and what you can come up with this is a cute message hi hannah i just finished listening to your episode about just disappointing your parents and i couldn't agree more i'm still in school and this

last year was so tough on my mental health and i couldn't get myself to do anything i was really scared about my parents finding out but when i told them i felt so much relief now i feel more free and i feel like they've started to acknowledge the fact that i'm struggling and have helped me with it love this yes i feel like especially as a young person we have so much pressure whether pressure your parents put on you or pressure that you just are putting on yourself to be this perfect child to not mess up to do everything perfectly to live up to your parents expectations their dreams their wants for you but simply put you are not going to and that is okay because you are your own human being you are your own person and the greatest thing about being young is about

learning who you are. And you really can only do that through making mistakes. And the best thing that you can really have is like supportive parents. It's awesome that your parents have acknowledged it and are helping you through it. I also have to acknowledge that not everybody has parents like that. And that's okay. But the key is to make sure that you are growing as a human being and you are not putting yourself aside for other people's expectations for their ones for their dreams okay and you're really just moving in a way that is helping you grow and helping you become the best version of yourself that there is so I'm really proud of you for taking accountability for your mental health it's not something you can ignore it really isn't I think all of my

mentally ill girlies can understand that the longer you're longer you ignore it the more it kind of spirals the more it snowballs into something bigger so really as soon as you can kind of understand and like finally reach out for help that is such a big step it is so important to do so and i'm so proud of you awesome that you're getting help and i hope this next school year you know is a little better for you okay hannah i need your advice bae so i smoke weed like most of us listening to the pod okay love but my boyfriend has trauma with me with weed because of his mom me and him discuss this and he wants me to quit but i don't know if i can nor want to he's such a sweetheart and i don't want it to put a strain on our relationship we live

two hours away so he's not physically around me when i do it but we talk all the time and i don't want to make him uncomfortable if i talk to him while i'm high part of me wants to quit but the other part of me doesn't want to give up the way the world feels and the way i connect with everything on such a strong spiritual level while i'm high i'm so conflicted oh my lord please help okay good question love it great things i feel like there's a common theme going on with a lot of the relationship questions i'm getting and i think the biggest thing that i have learned from relationships is people don't change okay it's very rare it is very rare now they do sometimes if it's a small thing if it's a miscommunication you know but big characteristic

traits rarely change very rarely so if you find yourself in a position where you're like begging a man to do something different to change to grow and he simply won't that just might be a characteristic trait like he just might be that way and there's no changing him he just might not be the person for you now when it comes to this it's a little it's small something you guys can understand there's no reason he should you know we all have trauma with things but weed like you're not smoking meth like that would be crazy like that would be insane like yes step in we're gonna hold a little a little meeting here we're gonna get you some help you know not good but if he has huge trauma with smoking and that's something that you particularly

particularly enjoy you guys are gonna have to either find a middle ground here or you guys might just not be compatible if this is such a huge issue for him for me personally i don't think there's any issue with smoking especially if you're not doing it around him um you know you guys can talk and you can be a little high i don't think you know that's a huge issue it's not something he's being um like put into you're not putting him into any situations he doesn't want to be in if he doesn't want to talk to you while he while you're high that's fine maybe give him that space but also you know if you do want to have him around and this is such a huge issue for him and you do want to give up smoking to have him in your life that's also your prerogative

but I really think in relationships trying to force people to change is not going to make anybody happier you really have to look at that person that you have in front of you and accept them for who they are for who they're going to be for all their quirks their traits their funny little you know however they however they are and you have to accept them and love them fully if you are constantly trying to build somebody into somebody new or you are constantly putting them down for things they're doing or you're constantly wanting them to change or do different things that person is going to just feel smaller not as good about themselves because they don't feel comfortable within themselves and it's just not going to work out i've been the person who's

like been begging the other person to change and i've also been the person who has been begged to change and neither of them feel good the best relationships are kind of the ones where you can just see each other at face value for the good the bad the ugly all of it and you can just be like cool i love you either way we will work through it we'll get through it whatever it is so should i think either of you guys should change no do i think either of you guys are in the wrong no but it is important to address and it is important to not have that kind of control on each other and like yeah if you live if he lives two hours away and you want to smoke in your free time there's no reason he should be able to control you from two hours away and what

you're doing you know like sure go light up go have a little fun babe go relax in the evening you know it's okay to do so um now if he's like in person he doesn't need to smoke i think you know that's okay as well that's his prerogative but that's when you need to step in and be like now am i gonna give it up or is this just something he's gonna have to get used to or it's not gonna work out all things you have to ask but i do have to say oh you know it is it's complicated but i don't think there's any reason he should be controlling you from that far away you know you you cannot like smoking but still allow somebody to do what they want to do especially when they're not around you you know it's not like you're like i said like smoking meth like

that would be fucking crazy like let's step in let's do something you're not doing hard drugs this is a legal substance that you're partaking in it's the same as drinking um like if he had trauma about drinking like yeah don't drink around him maybe don't be drunk around him i understand how that can make him uncomfortable or you know just like don't if he doesn't want to talk to you while you're high that's fine as well but these are all things that you are going to have to question and ask yourself like hmm is this gonna work are we gonna be able to work through this you know and talk to him talk to how you talk to him about how you feel you know very simple things sorry that was a ramble i feel like i never give straight up answers but it's simply because my

gemini son can see every single aspect of every single situation and a lot of the times like no one's in the wrong no one's in the right people are just having feelings they're having emotions and everybody's gonna feel differently about different things you know what i mean so i'm sorry if that was a little bit of a ramble i just am trying to bring up questions and trying to bring up thoughts and processes that might help you kind of work through the situation how do i train my boyfriend to take good insta photos of me okay so the best thing you can really do is a understand what you want and then show him how to take the photo so like i will literally have him stand exactly where i want to stand and then i'll line up my phone and i'll literally

either hold it there and have him take it out of my hands or I'll just take the photo of like the exact angles I want and how I want him how I want me posing or like from what angle and I make him do it and then I show him the photo so he can see it and like understand what I want and then I just go from there so you know I have the vision and then I just ask him to execute it basically unless your boyfriend's like a really good photographer like you kind of just have to plan ahead and I'm just like hey can you take a photo of me right here facing this way from this angle and he can usually just be like yeah i got you you know oh someone asked going easy on yourself an excuse to be lazy or a needed relief um i think it could be either i know that's super not helpful but like

yeah there's times where you know i go easy on myself and it is because i'm scared of what might happen or i'm feeling lazy or i truly just don't believe in myself there's also times that i go easy on myself because I can feel that I'm exhausted on the brink of like a mental breakdown and I just need to I just need to put life in easy mode you know what I mean just for a quick second so I can you know recharge you really just have to look inward and ask yourself truly like what are you doing it for um both are valid I think you know we've we've been there on both of them but um one you just need to grow through you need to trust yourself you need to believe in yourself you need to work hard and another one is like a true reason you need to take a break like

you actually you know put life on easy mode it's okay to do so every once in a while I can't lie hello Hannah I hope you're having the best week girl um my name is Imogen I'm from Washington all of us Washington girls absolutely love you so from us um but I just had a question about asking a man to like when he's like fingering you like could he like ways that he could make it better for you and like vocally say that and like it not be like move to the left move to the right like you know what I mean like I guess like hot ways to do that um I was yeah I was just wondering like what i could say to ask him to like go to the left you know what i mean okay i think you do i love you have a beautiful day please okay i love this question because i think

we've all been there as girlies where he just thinks he's going to town like really just dj in the best set ever but he's rubbing like your left pussy lip and you don't want to like force a smile through it you like actually want to feel something and have this be a good experience so the best thing that i have learned in my experience is don't sit through it also like if you are uncomfortable like telling them specifically where to touch or how to touch the best thing you can do is simply take his hand like grab his wrist and move it to where you want okay so maybe he's like three centimeters off just push his hand over a little bit and then give like a verbal confirmation that it feels good like you know maybe you've been a little quiet

because he's been djing on the wrong side of the booth but you know you push his hand over to where it is and then you give a verbal confirmation of like that feels good i love the way you touch me like that like so then he's like okay all right like i see where i need to go do you know what i mean um being like like especially in that situation um you know like in sex it's good to like kind of give instructions yes but when it's like a small area and you need a specific spot to be touched literally move that man's hand move it move it to where you want that is okay that is fine i feel like there's no issue with that or if you like want multiple things happening you can like if he's only fingering you but you want fingers inside you just be like do you want to

put some fingers inside me i would love it if you you know or like move his hand down or another great way show him like i feel like a man would cream in his pants if you just like just showed him how you touch yourself and how you like it and don't let him like jump in right away it's a little uncomfortable you gotta have some balls but it's this would be super hot like literally just touch yourself and show him what you like and make him watch and then let him try does that make sense there's so many different ways you can go about it but verbal confirmation i think is the biggest thing okay like literally you have to just like gold star him like oh my god love that like please keep touching me like that like it like encourage him does that make sense we got so many

call-ins this week like i'm obsessed thank you guys for submitting call-ins i got i'm gonna keep playing them because they're all so good but once again if you want to submit any call-ins please please please go to my instagram at hannah marlene you can click my link tree and then the first button is going to be call in slash voice memos and it takes you directly to where you can record like a minute of your question i love call-ins i love connecting with you guys this way so please if you ever have one and you're not too shy submit there i love hearing your voice oh i need some food i really need to get some lunch my favorite salad recently sorry i just love a good salad i can't lie like i love a crunch i love a savory crunch i love like something like with meat but

not super meat heavy and my go-to recently um the restaurant next to my work has a really good salad but it's like fresh veggies leafy greens um diced radishes um some corn some black beans and then it has like this chipotle ranch and then they put a scoop of guac on top of it and then i get a blackened salmon filet oh bitch it's so good like my mouth is watering thinking about it i might get that for lunch we'll see we'll see we gotta power through this though Oh, someone asked, what is something you now know that you wish you could tell yourself five years ago? I think like the most overarching theme that I would like to express to myself from five years ago is to trust your gut. you know in those instincts where you are in instances where you know you feel one way you need to follow that way where you have this like drive and this like um call to one thing

go for it your head likes to mess with you your head likes to overthink your head likes to get a little crazy you know your brain trust your body trust those gut instincts when you feel uncomfortable trust them and go with them give yourself space get away do whatever you need and when you feel called to something when you truly feel passionate about something and you ignore that you need to focus on that you need to go towards it just whatever those guts instincts are really really pay attention to them and then act accordingly hi hannah so a little confession time yesterday i got extremely high and i didn't tell my boyfriend because i was mad at him and before he came over i was like having a panic attack so i just laid down and listened to your

podcast my favorite podcast ever and it calmed me the fuck down and he came over and i had the best sex ever and he never found out so thank you for this podcast i love you please i love that i'm your guys's comfort person i'm obsessed with that i also love that i can calm you guys down when you're having panic attacks like that because been there been there i've been there where you just get like so high that you're just like oh my god i'm so overwhelmed like what is happening where am i what's going on like your heart's racing i'm fucking like so fast and you're just like i need something to chill me out so i love that you listen to my chaotic ass and you're like okay zen peace love also if you guys are interested in more content and like getting to know each

other a little bit more i'm gonna be releasing my patreon at the end of this week hopefully fingers crossed if i can get it done this full moon is really powering me into getting my shit done really um i'll be releasing that there's gonna be three different tiers um so you can choose like however much money you want to spend depending on what kind of content you want to enjoy i think one tier is like i'm gonna upload my journal entries my collages i'm gonna really connect with you guys on discussion boards q and a's things like that um the second tier is going to be all of my video content so any videos that i make um and then also everything that comes in tier one just getting to know you guys a little bit better through like video content and then

tier three is gonna be everything that i just said plus um live podcast q and a's and like smoke sashes so i'm very very excited for getting to know you guys a little bit better and bringing you a little bit deeper into my life um and yeah i just we have so much coming for us so hold on okay hannah this is gonna sound so funny i don't know if you're gonna love it or hate it but i just went no contact with my ex but he promised to buy me your merch like he promised he was like even if we're on bad terms i'm still gonna get you that smoke sesh merch because he like listens to the podcast and like he knows i love it and like he made that promise so he wants to keep it but we're in no contact right now and i don't know if we're ever going to be in contact again

so i was like thinking she should put this on the podcast so that he can hear and still buy me the merch anyways i love you this is so fucking funny anyways i guess if you're if you're the person and you're hearing this you know what to do venmo that girly you know her address you better order her a hoodie a grinder whatever she wants you you owe it to her at this point anyways oh someone asked how to stay productive when you're smoking i get so tired immediately yes same felt as soon as i smoke i am like i'm gonna have to sit down for at least 30 minutes period so here's the thing if i need to be productive i talked about this in the last podcast um how i'm kind of going about smoking especially after my tea break is i get up i get

all my shit done whatever's on my to-do list get her done and then i smoke smoking should be a treat um i personally cannot be productive while smoking especially now that my tolerance is a lot lower when it was super fucking high like yeah i could be productive when i was smoking because i would smoke one bowl and i would feel nothing so now that i smoke a bowl and i'm like put out for three hours like i was in high school um yeah i save it for the end of the night that is when i'm smoking i save it for my days off like sure i can smoke all day on my days off if i have nothing else to do but really use it as a treat kind of use it as a motivational tool um especially when you know you're gonna get stuck it's just a self-sabotaging kind of cycle when you know that

you have this reaction to this thing um and it's not going to work out the way you want it to but you keep doing it doing it doing it expecting different results even though you know the results are going to be the same just switch it up switch it up babe okay um just smoke when you need a little treat at the end of the night to relax a little bit i kind of think that's the best way and kind of healthiest way to go about it oh this is a good question how to create structure in your life as a fellow ADHD baddie um great question I have to have a planner whether it's one that I have in my phone whether it's just like a quick little weekly planner in my to-do list um I have a little monthly planner on my phone as well I have to have one or else I just I just

get so much anxiety about what I need to do and what's coming in the future and what I missed in the past that I just don't do anything and I just sit and I get uncomfortable and I freak myself out more so best thing you can simply do is first of all as my ADHD girlies know it's hard to kind of organize yourself so the first thing I do every Sunday is I sit down and I'm like okay what do I need to accomplish this week if it's a big task or I just I just write it all down whether whatever task it is even it's small big whatever if it's a big task and it requires multiple steps i'll write those steps out as well okay if it's small tasks very something simple you know go get go deposit your money that's like a one thing you got to do or if it's like something

big like create patreon for me where it's like i gotta do this and this and this and this and then finally this i'll write it all out okay everything i want to get done that week then i'll do monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday and i will organize what i put in that giant list to those days and i'll allocate them to whatever day i want to do them and before i even organize um my my to-dos i put in my work schedule so i know what days i'm gonna be kind of exhausted from work and what days i have off i can maybe get more shit done and then i allocate shit i gotta do based on that so yeah my days off i maybe have more shit that i gotta get done or the days that i do work and i'm like you know what i'll just power through the day and i'll work extra

hard maybe i'm gonna fill that morning up with more to do's either way i just try and make sure i have a relative weekly plan of what i want to do and then i have a small little monthly calendar with future goals and um just things coming up but it is very important to try and organize yourself you are never ever going to be able to organize yourself in your brain straight up i always think i have some some sort of superpower where i can just have a to-do list in my brain and get it done and get everything done to the quality that i want it no it's not possible i have to accept that for myself and i got to take the steps necessary to get the shit i want done so i don't have the anxiety about my life that i do have and understand that yeah you can work

with adhd you just got to do a little bit of planning it's okay so i really recommend just a little to-do list in your phone um another thing of patreon that i'm going to do is i'm going to give you guys weekly planners monthly planners that i designed so you guys can kind of organize yourself as well so keep that in mind oh how to tell him i want him to get an std test literally look him dead in the eyes and say i need an std test on paper before you touch me like okay listen in this day and age where hookup culture is so prevalent shit's just getting passed around left and right and left and right and here's the thing i'm not trying to slut shame i'm really not you go hook up with whoever you want it could be one person it could be a million i simply do not care

as long as you're doing it safely okay and it's very important like you never know where that person has been who they've been with who the person they've been with has been with you know and i think it's totally fine and valid to you know get an std test now you also have to get one you know you can't just require him to get one you also should probably get one i think the biggest way to kind of like have that mutual understanding is to just be like hey i got std tested i'm clean are you and if he's like yeah yeah i am be like okay are you like when was the last time you got tested and if he's just like no no i just know i am i've talked to my partners be like no i need you can you just get a test and if he's like no i'm not getting a test or he feels

weeded out about about that he's a fucking loser okay straight up STD tests are so simple I'm pretty sure they're basically free if you have insurance which I feel like everybody uh has some sort of relative insurance especially if you live under your parents um you don't have to tell your parents about them either you're protected by HIPAA that you can go to the doctor request one have it you know not on paperwork kind of thing you know they can't really access that shit um and yeah i think it's totally valid to just ask for it absolutely take the initiative and be like hey i got tested i'm clean you know i do my monthly test or whatever and ask them for theirs and if they feel weirded out about that or they are not comfortable getting a test i feel like

that's a big red flag you know very big red flag if that's a simple thing that you need done to feel comfortable having sex with somebody that is absolutely valid okay absolutely also just in general if you're out there hooking up hanging out with people and you've never thought about an std test i really recommend one um most stds are very curable you can just take a pill um easy peasy boom bam done get a shot whatever you need and it's not as scary as you think the scary thing is you not knowing that's the terrifying part so the simple step that you can do to make sure you're comfortable is to just make sure you know does that make sense okay somebody asked for full moon rituals and since i am releasing this before the full moon i think this is a great time to um

tell you what i'm gonna be doing or what i think is a great idea so this capricorn full moon is all about release about growth about ambition about drive um and here's the thing i never do the same ritual for every full moon i like to change it up um specifically kind of to represent what it's about so this full moon um a great thing you can do especially if you maybe don't like journaling or you know you have a hard time fitting in everything you're trying to say journaling and you're better just opening a stream of consciousness and speaking um or thinking is set up a little altar space and it doesn't have to be elaborate it doesn't have to have like crystals and sage and all this stuff like i don't care about any of that shit it can be just like random

trinkets that you like it could be one item it could be 10 it could be 100 as long as it represents how you're feeling and it brings you peace i do not care what it looks like just set something up to kind of represent which for this one it would be change and growth um and then just sit in front of it and have a open conversation with yourself in the universe and ask for what you want ask for um what you want to release speak about it talk about it have that conversation I think that's super fun also since this is about release and growth um a great thing you can do is simply just write it down on a piece of paper and um I don't like burning them um if you are that kind of if you do have that kind of energy go for it like you can write down what you don't like

and then burn it and let it go um obviously in a safe space but for me personally i have like this potted pothos and everything that i want to release i just shove it in the dirt and then yeah just let my plant take care of it and grow off of it and especially with the full moon i feel like it being in capricorn and this is about you know releasing what you don't like and changing and becoming a better self planning that specifically in like a little pot and then seeing the way your plant grows off of it is kind of a beautiful representation so two very simple things you can do manifestation is great but also so is release i think release is really important you know shedding that skin in order to grow and become your new best self

someone asked for my craziest club experience i haven't been to the club in a while but this is really fucking funny um i've talked about this before but one time a furry kind of saved my life i she was really cool anyways went to the club um it was post my last breakup and you know i just need to get out there i need to have a good time i was like fuck it i'm gonna send it it was after your work i was just alone i was like whatever i don't recommend going to the club alone simply because i had to have a furry save my life because of it so you know going to the club having a good time getting drinks drinks drinks having a fantastic time dancing you know mostly on my own mostly just like relating to the girls around me hanging out i feel like that's the best kind

of part i wasn't really there looking for men like i was just there to have a good time and kind of change up my scene and you know this man started being really fucking creepy and really grabby and really weird and i was like okay i need to get away from him like i gotta just like try and move away so i went outside you know to the back smoking area he followed me fucking weird i'm like i just want to smoke i've tried to talk to other people he would join in i'm like i don't fucking know you why are you following me around like very odd very uncomfortable um i go to the bar afterwards try to get away from him he follows me there can i buy you a drink no i don't want to talk to you weird grabby very uncomfortable so this is like over the span of like 45 minutes

finally i go to the bathroom i'm like i just need to i need to get get away right and he follows me there and he literally stands at the entrance of the women's bathroom and keep in mind it's a community bathroom there's a lot of it's like a bunch of stalls you know as a club is and he's standing outside the bathroom and i can see that and i go inside a stall and i'm like what the f what am i supposed to do like very weird very uncomfortable i don't know what to do he obviously knows i do not want him around me and yet he's still persistent um so i like finally went to the bathroom i stepped out i was just like washing my hands and i look over and this girl is also like washing her hands next to me and she looks really nice and she's wearing these like brown

furry ears and i looked at her and i was like there's this man waiting for me outside the bathroom and i don't want to talk to him i don't know what to do like you know when you just see a girl and she seems nice and you're like oh my god bitch i need help like please be a good person and help me out here she literally just like stopped like she dead in the eyes grabbed my hand and was like don't look back and she grabbed my hand pulled me straight out the bathroom this guy's like wait wait like following us and she's like running like she's like running through this crowd of people pulling me behind her the guy gets lost behind us and she pulls us up into vip where she apparently has a booth and she sits down she's like my name is blah blah uh so sorry

that happened to you feel free to just hang out in our booth all night you can order whatever drinks you want um just like don't go down there i understand like he will probably be waiting for you and that's super uncomfortable um we'll walk you to your car we'll do anything for you like blah blah blah so nice she literally saved my fucking life because that man was such a fucking creep and at that point i was like i can't even leave because they'll probably follow me out of the club and that's so fucking weird so i hung out with her all night her friends are so sweet literally feeding me drinks like having a great grand time and i don't know i ended up leaving kind of randomly i'm i'm very bad at irish goodbyes well i guess i'm good at them i just

like disappear like i can't help it and she found me on instagram and like dm'd me and was like hey girl we worried about you just like message me when you see this you know want to make sure you got home safe and i was like oh my god that is so sweet like girls you have to ride for each other because men are terrifying okay and they're horrible and they're awful and whenever you see a girl that is ever in trouble or looks a little bit of uncomfortable it's better for you to step up and say something and then be like no no you know whatever turn you down then for you to just stand by and have something horrible happen you know and it's always okay to ask for help as well if you're ever feeling uncomfortable and you do see a girl who you think can help ask for help

it is totally fine you should never feel uncomfortable in those situations and if you do try and find somebody who can help you out okay she was incredible she was lovely i think about her like at least once a week because that was such a scary moment for young hannah especially young hannah who wasn't really into the club scene and didn't really know how to stand up for herself and you know was a little uncomfortable and scared and nervous and to have a girl stand up for me and step in for me I was like that's who I want to be I want to be like her I want to show up for girls I want to be there and that was just like life-changing like loved it she was just incredible so shout out furries I also want to touch on just self-worth and self-worthiness just at this end of

the at the end of this podcast we touch on the um Capricorn full moon and what that means and what that's bringing I'm also going to load a bowl if you guys would like to join um but I really really want to touch on the uncomfortability of shedding your skin and sometimes the uncomfortability of like newness and changing yourself and what it's like to do so um and kind of how to start that process like listen I get it change is scary it's terrifying um I have multiple tattoos kind of just reminding myself that change is okay it's something that I have been kind of personally trying to deal with for a majority of my life simply because I like the same things I like feeling comfortable but here's the kicker you will never grow you will never change you will

never develop if you stay in your comfortability that's a really really hard thing I've had to learn and it's something that I've realized my parents have been trying to teach me for a long time by putting me in new classes by getting me out of my comfort zone to do new things by doing this by doing that but it was never things that I truly wanted to do they were all on their own accord and I think the beautiful thing about growing up is realizing what you do like and what you don't like and what scares you and being the one in charge of challenging yourself so let's hit this little bowl and then we'll dive into it some more oh my god

oh that was good i just think that understanding yourself is a power but you can never get to that place unless you truly like challenge yourself and truly have that belief in yourself and they have to coincide within each other you can't just like think about it and then like never act on it you have to you know have that belief but then also have that power to act on it in order to kind of build that relationship i saw this like affirmation hold on let me share it with you i think it's really really good um but it's basically saying that it's not about delusion fuck where is it me scrolling through my 50 000 photos on my phone hold on how many do i actually have like it's an insane amount I have 48,000 I was telling my dad the other day they had 48,000

photos because he had like a hundred and my boyfriend was with me and he goes yeah and they're all photos of herself and I was like honestly though like they might be I don't know why I can just never delete anything one day I just need to sit down and like go through all that shit but anyways oh my god i did a full 360 simply because my photo oh it's okay i found it there were just so many photos i did dick through okay a sense of worthiness comes from taking actions that respect your worth period let me read that again a sense of worthiness comes from taking actions that respect your worth you cannot act against yourself if you were to sit down and like with a friend and you were to express something that you wanted or maybe you disliked

either way something you felt passionate about and they went and did the exact opposite would that like you know would that really strengthen your relationship probably not like growing and changing is hard but you have to have that belief that you can do so in order to do so and also understand that like growing is just a natural life process it's more important to grow and to you know have those challenges and to work through them and to you know discover new things about yourself and to try new things and have new life experiences and really utilize those full hundred years to become the best version of yourself that you can possibly think of instead of just accepting like one thing or you know refusing to get out of your comfort zone in order to have the

same normalcy in order to kind of have that safeness like I feel like the same way I was like you need to kind of disappoint your parents in order to grow I feel like you also need to do that kind of same work within yourself and you have to challenge yourself and you have to you know shed that old skin and not be afraid to in order to truly discover who you are knowing yourself is a power like and I feel like there's so much just like um positivity and really calmness and like less anxiety and just peace when you feel confident and comfortable with how you think about yourself um and with how you kind of react within yourself not just like how you see yourself but also that trust that you build together um that belief that you build together and it's

something you build you know maybe it's not something you start with and that's okay there's always room for growth and there's always room for change and there's always room for anything that you could possibly believe in for yourself so i just think it's a great you know reminder capricorn full moon love it my capricorn moon is literally at an all-time fucking high right now like I am just so driven and so like dream and goal focused right now I don't know if you can tell but I'm excited I think there's big things coming for all of us and I believe in all of you and this was so much fun um happy Tuesday everybody um oh my gosh reminders uh sorry that this podcast was just a little a lot chaotic very chaotic but I feel like that's kind of what you

come for I love just the randomness that we get into it's always very fun um if you're a new listener welcome if you're an old one welcome as well thank you for all the questions that you guys send me I really appreciate it if you ever want to send me a question like I said call in link is in my instagram bio at hannah marlene and i always post a like sunday story um asking for your questions and asking for you know things on your mind themes for the week that you want to hear on my instagram just anything and also if you want to dm me my dms are always open but i love you guys i hope you have a wonderful full moon it's going to be so exciting and yeah i will see you all next week love you