Smoke Sesh - independent woman, college dating & getting motivated!

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

hello hotties and welcome back to another episode of the pod! so excited to be back for another fun and chaotic sesh with you all, we dive right in talking about what ive been up to, periods, period anger, toxic supplies, running away to the sea, free bleeding and much more, we also talk getting motivated when you're stuck rotting, skin picking and how to avoid from a chronic acne girl, insecurity in relationships and how to handle it, celebrity male drama and women warning each other of evil men, baddie affirmations of the week, being young and in relationships, the tr*mp ordeal.. please give your exes up, catcalling, bug bites, snap chat red flags, are t breaks worth it? getting over the cringe of your old self, finding pleasure and seeking it, childhood fears, staying disciplined, sometimes an independent woman needs a break, 9-5 fun and having energy after work, maybe you don't like them anymore, back tattoos, sad music, college dating, lets really adult, plugs and staying safe & sexy! love you all hope you enjoyed this weeks episode! if you want to see more from me follow the instagram hannahmarlene for more content and if you want an extra episode every week join the patreon patreon.com/smokeseshshawty for all the fun! see you all next week! MUAH!

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all good morning and hello hotties of the world welcome back to another wonderful beautiful hot amazing sexy episode of the podcast my name is hannah your host and i'm so excited to be back with another little smoke sesh for you all i'm feeling a little a little loopy a little silly I'm not gonna lie you guys I just started my period I love that the week before my period I'm

like no no like I actually need to be admitted like I think something's going wrong I'm not feeling good I'm bloated I'm angry at the world I'm starving my body hurts my joints hurt my hips hurt everybody's pissing me off and then your period starts and you're like oh no no I did not need to be put in the psych ward actually actually it was just my hormonal imbalance so cheers to that I'm not pregnant shout out um did you guys hear about the whole arsenic in tampons thing yeah babe I could have told you that not gonna lie I have never really had a whole lot of trust in the whole women's health aspect of life especially after my first experience on the birth control pill and it literally sending me into a spiral of death so yeah don't hold a

lot of trust for those and in fact one of the smartest decisions i ever made for myself was a researching birth control and really really figuring out what works best for my body and b um not using tampons anymore in fact not using tampons or pads like hannah what the fuck hashtag bring back free bleeding hello i've talked about free free bleeding a lot on this podcast i have i have and that's because i'm a huge proponent for it because i'm tired of women being uncomfortable angry from their bodies in more pain than they should be during their period which is already like so fucking painful um that shit pisses me off so no i will always always always suggest free bleeding to people and i'm not talking about like put your coochie on the subway train seat

and bleed everywhere of course be careful take precautions wear a little pad or panty lighter if you need to but babe if you're home alone and you are not going to speak or talk to anybody for 24 hours and you are just going to hang out and sit there girl throw on a pair of oversized men's underwear and chill put a towel under yourself and chill okay you deserve to feel peace honestly yeah it wasn't like too surprised about that i'm curious what's gonna come out about iuds because that's what i have um but we should bring back honestly you know back in the day where they used to send women to like cottages near an ocean to free bleed for a week because men didn't want to deal with them we should bring that back honestly we should bring that the fuck back because think

about it like if we had a place where it's like okay i'm gonna go escape to the forest the little commune with my girlies we're all gonna freebly no one's gonna judge us because we all fucking get it hello there's like maybe there's like a room where everybody can go and like complain and get things off their chest and we can all like group scream together everybody's in a good mood because everybody knows not to fuck with each other like we're all not on edge but more understanding of that edge perhaps we got a great chef in the back cooking up munchy food and food that will heal us through this you know time in our lives make sure we're getting enough iron those good steaks in there okay fresh veggies maybe there's like a fresh body of water we can

all go float in like bring that back honestly because what do you mean i gotta go clock into a nine to five while my uterus is literally trying to fall out of my body no no i can't do that i'm sorry anyways when I start my period I really like to channel my like inner suburban housewife in her g-wagon energy just because I already feel a little cunty so like oh I don't know if I can say that word anyways I already feel a little you know top bitchy so might as well just step right the fuck into it you know really just own it so today I had to I had to self-tan a little bit last night because me and my mom are going to the pool today i gotta go pick up sandwiches for us after this and i'm gonna go meet her there but i wanted to just like be really fucking tan i wanted

to throw on my matching set okay you want to feel you want to be lazy and put zero effort in invest in matching sets babe this is like 20 off amazon okay it doesn't have to be anything crazy i'm not talking lululemon like you don't need to go spend 150 on a matching set go to your local tj max okay go maxinista it up buy a matching set you're gonna feel so much better lounging around your house than in an oversized t-shirt i mean no hate but when you need to dive into the glamour of it all girl invest in a matching set and just to top it all off my big gold hoop earrings and these slutty little 90s uh brown sunglasses i'm really feeling myself i'm not gonna lie ladies don't have much to catch you guys up on my schedule kind of changed this week so i've really just been

not working overtime but adjusting accordingly trust me as a schedule girly when my schedule gets changed up i feel i feel uneasy i feel restless like we need to figure this out i need to become my brain needs to become used to this you know it's gonna take me a good month but i'm excited that my schedule is changing i feel a little bit better um especially after working in nightlife for so long um going into work at like five or six o'clock at night yes I don't want to do anything before that okay I'm not making plans before I have to go clock in for an eight hour shift at six o'clock okay like I want to rot in bed all day until I have to go into work but now my schedule switched where I'm working mostly mornings who would have thought

and I've been loving it you know what I'm like getting off work at four and I'm like fuck you know what like I should have plans like I should be doing something with my day I never have an opportunity to do anything with my day because I'm usually working late nights so this has been a really great change of pace I'm excited to see where it takes me um but yeah that's really all I've been doing this week is adjusting I'll be posting another recipe video you guys like my last recipe video um my salmon hand rolls on my instagram at hannah marlene hi if you haven't followed me yet girl you're missing out let's be fucking real um but i posted my salmon hand roll recipe and you guys loved it super yummy great little summer lunch especially if you love salmon

i also thought about doing it with like um connie you know like the fake crab that you get in the store the stuff they put in crab rangoon thing like that uh just using like a connie salad like a spicy connie salad it's then so yummy so easy to make you can batch it for like a week eat it week fantastic but this week this week i might have outdone myself on the munchie food i'm not gonna lie um i was laying in bed one night and i was like you know what sounds really fucking good pie but not pie in the sense of like just a slice of pie because listen my little midwest heart if i don't have my pie without my ice cream like what's the fucking point of it all you know what i mean so i made mini cherry pie ice cream sandwiches they are to fucking die for i will

be posting the video oh today because i'm filming this on monday and i'll be posting it on tuesday i'll be posting it on tuesday go check the instagram right now right now at hannah marlene it'll be up go get yourself a little munchie snack that's my favorite thing about my period is i'm like you know what fuck it i'm gonna eat everything that i crave everything that i desire i will be eating so today's roster of food is a fat sandwich next to the pool because honestly any sort of sandwich next to an open body of water in the heat is the best experience ever it's the peak summer experience um and then i will be eating a veggie quesadilla for dinner because girl i honestly i could eat guac by the spoonful i still need to post my guacamole recipe let me

know if you're interested i could eat guacamole by the spoonful i shouldn't i could that's why my ass is so fat shout out um but i need something to dip it in you know i need a vehicle for my guacamole so i'll be making um veggie quesadillas for dinner and you know what sounds like a great fucking day hang out with you guys smoke a little bit devour a sandwich lay out by the fucking pool eat a quesadilla for dinner smoke some more weed probably do a little bit of yoga little pilates here and there what's better than that hello also also also also i've had a lot of you guys coming to me being like pilates why would you suggest pilates it's so expensive like blah blah blah no babe no babe i am not doing unfortunately i do not have the funds for this i am not doing

the reformer pilates hot girl 200 a lesson pilates class no babe no babe we are doing this on the floor with a youtube video in fact did you know i suggest pilates because i think it is the ultimate lazy girl workout listen i am a lazy girl at heart i don't want to go for a run i want to go for a leisurely walk preferably like in flip-flops with a joint in my hands if i can but i still need to be like moving my body whatever i'm not sprinting down the road i'm gonna do what i can do and that is in the easiest form possible pilates is the ultimate lazy girl workout okay the youtube videos i watch you guys always ask me like what are good youtube videos madeline abid madeline abid on youtube she has plans pilates courses different areas you can target whatever it is very very easy

very great for beginners but literally pilates was created for like disabled veterans to be able to work out and still stretch their body and strengthen themselves from their hospital bed babe if they can do it you can do it i promise you literally like it is so good for people who maybe don't have a lot of like maybe have mobility issues or a you just like don't want to and can't move very well it is a great tool and honestly it really does strengthen your uh yourself very quickly so love that 10 out of 10 recommend anyways enough of my rambling here let's be real um i know what you're here for i know you want to get into all of your questions so fuck it let's dive right the fuck in how to stop bed rotting and be productive oh great question put your shoes on

put your shoes on i don't know why this is like a small little tip that truly has changed my life especially as a semi-functioning adhd girl um for some reason as soon as you put your shoes on your body and your brain will start thinking like oh shit okay so we're leaving the house we're doing something let's hype ourselves up to get something done i have these little like red flip flops that i wear around my house when i need to do deep cleaning um and the way it triggers my brain into a state of like get shit doneness it is insane it is insane there needs to be a psychological study done i don't know what the science is behind it probably just from routine and your brain assuming this means we're doing something um but if you are having a hard time

you know getting around your house doing stuff cleaning you need a small boost of motivation especially for the extra lazy girls get up okay put your shoes on and then start doing stuff if you need to like a plan beforehand i always recommend a brain dump okay everything that's stressing you out everything that's keeping you stagnant in this place because it's stressing you up because oh there's too much there's too much i don't know where to start there's too much i can't do anything let's do a brain dump okay get a pen get a piece of paper in no particular order in fact I recommend not doing this in an order at all you are going to just write down everything that's stressing you out every single task that you need to get done big and small it is I don't

care it doesn't matter put it down in a fucking list now what you do from that list is everything on that list that can be achieved in under 15 minutes you are going to put your shoes on and you are going to do ignore the big fucking tasks but everything on that list that you can do in 15 minutes oh i gotta call my mom i gotta schedule this doctor's appointment um i needed to do the dishes i need to throw the laundry in the laundry hamper i need to wipe down my mirrors i need to whatever it is that can be done in 15 minutes get that shit done put your shoes on get that shit done cross it off your list physically cross it off your list it'll feel so nice and then guess what you're gonna feel productive you're gonna feel motivated and you're gonna feel a little

bit more encouraged to maybe handle those bigger tasks that are on the list but guess what by the time you've done that you crossed out at least 50 of the things that have been stressing you out so that's my pro tip for getting shit done getting it done quickly especially for my lazy bed rotting adhd girls i get you i am one of you i feel you but we can persevere we can do better always how to not pick at your skin and pop pimples oh happy period week girls when i tell you my body is breaking out like never before i should always know like okay my i don't track my period okay she just comes when she wants to and i handle her you know what i mean no pressure i'm not really worried about getting pregnant my iud is literally turning my uterus into a fortress a steel fortress

it is impossible to get in there let me go ahead and knock on some wood real quick because i don't want to jinx myself okay when it comes to pimples pimples I hear you I have been there I am there currently in fact my acne has been so bad at one point that I was on Accutane for multiple years that's why I have this skinny little Accutane nose shout out I don't get why Accutane gave me a nose job but it did it really did and that shit was probably just as expensive as a regular nose job let's be real I don't know why that those pills are so expensive but my god did it put my body through hell and back now it did solve my hormonal severe severe acne because i was getting at least five to six big cystic acne spots a day that was because i overproduced oil now i'm kind

of at a manageable level where if i don't pick at my skin and i just let it happen i'm usually pretty good i'm not gonna lie usually my acne is very manageable but sometimes you know you have those you ever have those moments where you're crisscross applesauce in the sink two centimeters away nails digging into your skin making yourself bleed yeah yep yeah i've been there i've been there a little too often here's how you stop a don't crawl in the sink sink is banned you need to stand at least two to three feet from the mirror every single time you look in it do not get any closer do not get any closer you are not meant to see yourself any closer okay you need to be at least two to three feet from the mirror because any closer you get you're gonna notice

every single little tiny detail about you and overthink it and that just doesn't need to happen be I basically declawed myself as a human being you know when you're not that I like suggest declawing your animals at all bad bad bad but humans listen sometimes you got to do it to yourself that's why I have these big claws on at all times and you're like Hannah that sounds like you know you would be able to pick at your skin easier no in fact i can't get the right angle ever with nails on and that's why i always have like xxl acrylics on because it really deters me from picking at my skin and i love that i love that i can never get the right angle and i just give up you know i have no time honestly um and number three i really recommend especially if you are

a picker a patch or some sort of cream that you can spot correct with um the uh pimple patches are a great option whether it's the star face patches or whatever there's so many different kinds whatever works for you um or I particularly love the Mario Badescu drying lotion it is by far the only good thing from that company um but I spot correct with it and that keeps me from picking because I don't want to mess up the spot correctness um and also I feel like a lot of my pimples are just like painful and these really just like kill the bacteria and dry them out so then they go away faster so acne girlies i love you i see you please step away from the mirror please declaw yourself if needed and also spot correct okay that's what you're trying to do

anyways the spot correct but it's a little more aggressive so let's find a softer gentler way to do so how to deal with insecurities while being in a relationship well are you making yourself insecure or is your partner making you insecure because if your partner's making you insecure we're gonna have a problem we're gonna have a problem why are you being weird why are you making this weird why are you making me feel weird you know like your partner should make you feel very very secure i'm not talking about like they should completely isolate themselves to make you feel comfortable they shouldn't just be doing any shady shit that's gonna make you feel weird about anything you know what I mean very simple very simple your partner should not do shady shit that

makes you feel weird okay they should not do weird shit that's gonna make you feel insecure very simple that is a basic part of respect in a relationship that is a foundational aspect of a relationship trust and respect okay you need to be able to respect them they need to be able to respect you okay don't do shady shit I'm gonna freak out rightfully so hello anyways listen but sometimes we as women we're just crazy we overthink we get a little insecure very normal very real i think it's okay to ask your partner for reassurance um i think it's okay to talk through these things with your partner but also if this is a reoccurring problem constantly because your brain is just sabotaging you you can only bring it up so many times before you've got to

handle that shit internally okay you got to unpack where the fuck this is stemming from is it stemming from previous relationship issues is it stemming from simple like psychological insecurity insecurity about self insecurity about relationships self-sabotage things like that you really got to get into the nitty-gritty of it okay girl eat an edible unpack that trauma okay because listen I've been in places where it's like you know what I'm I maybe chased that person off because I was just self-sabotaging a little bit you know what they wanted good for me but I didn't want good for myself and that's really sad to see you know you self-sabotage in that sort of way but the only way to break that is to truly sit down with yourself a want to be better and b want to seek

inward and understand you know what are these cycles what are the triggers where is this stemming from and how can I heal when it comes to insecurity I think a lot of it stems from a place of lack or seeing yourself in a place of lack and feeling like you cannot get to a place of completely being fulfilled you can get to that place you have to want enough for yourself and also understand that you yourself are a complete whole individual that deserves goodness that deserves grace that deserves peace period okay no one else can take that away from you only you can take that from yourself so stop taking it from yourself but also if your partner's making you feel insecure if they're being weird if they're doing shady shit girl we have to dip asap it's like the whole

oh my god like madeline rg ice spice central c thing do you guys did you see that drama very niche drama i feel like but also it's like babe babe if he's done you dirty once you're gonna have that insecurity for the rest of your relationship what's the point of getting back together if he's cheated on you once what do you what do you mean you think he's not gonna do it again let's be honest like come on now anyways if i was ice spices pr team i would have been like first of all she's playing the wrong team never play on the man's side he's gonna make you look like a fucking idiot always a man will always make you look like an idiot if you take his side so she should have popped out with madeline rg as soon as she dropped those little you know series

on tiktok talking about how much he fucked her over if i was i spies listen bisexual queen i would have popped out with madeline rg immediately immediately taking the girl's side she would have been loved anyways now it's a hot mess now it's she's looking a mess don't have a man make you look a mess you know what I mean please always seek peace if that man is making you insecure by doing weird psycho shit it's because you need to leave you need to leave also listen sure I talk a lot about my exes but that's because it's a warning like the Brooke Schofield thing that man's like please stop talking about me why won't she keep me out of her mouth it's because you're fucking psycho and i'm trying to warn other girls all right tornado sirens are annoying for a reason

let's be real also someone said i can't keep listening because you keep saying let's be real all the time i'm sorry consider it like a tick at this point it's really a part of my vocabulary only on this podcast i don't know why probably because the only thing i try to be on this podcast is real but i apologize i apologize for my little you know sayings i'm sorry if i turn you away please stick around i promise i have fun things to say anyways should we smoke should we smoke let's get into a couple more questions and let's dive in because i feel like once i smoke especially this early my brain like literally stops working anyways oh someone said confidence baddie affirmations please my journal has made so many ideas reality honestly that's why i recommend

journaling so much because i feel like when you allow yourself to tap into your inner world and really truly understand it it makes taking that inner reality and bringing it to actual reality external reality a possibility because you understand it a little bit better and truly there is no stronger power than understanding yourself and understanding how you feel and who you truly are and what you truly desire so here's some baddie confidence affirmations for you all what you desire is already yours the universe is working in tandem to bring your dreams to a reality everything you desire you deserve you bring light and love into every single room you step into people feel warmed by your presence love follows you wherever you go

and you are so beautiful and so worthy love you someone said people judging you on not having a boyfriend at a young age thoughts honestly don't do it don't do it i don't think women should date before the age of 25 at all save yourself save yourself i was severely depressed and you know just really not focused on sex at all in high school mainly because i was focused on death but that saved me honestly because if i became involved with boys like honestly i got involved with boys at like 18 19 and that still looking back feels too young i didn't know what love was i barely knew who the fuck i was and then i kind of just got like in a whole mess of feeling too involved with this whole idea of love and understanding it and trying to make another

insecure man happy that i completely lost myself and lost years years of my life sure i got out of it and now i understand myself a little bit better since i went through it but you do not always need to go through a hard time in order to learn a lesson okay babe you do not so ignore the men ignore the relationships ignore your grandma asking you when you're gonna get pregnant at 18 babe this is not the 1920s in fact i would be a child bride we're not doing that and live your life focus on you truly truly your 20s are about being selfish and selfish in not a fuck everybody I'm gonna do what I want way in a I know what I deserve and I am seeking the best life for myself kind of way that kind of selfish healthy selfish positive white light kind of selfish okay not the

black hole kind of selfish that really sucks but honestly i think if you are not in a relationship in your 20s or in your late teens you are light years further than the people who are in relationships because i mean the amount of relationships i've seen from people at a young age i think five percent percent of them actually last um the rest are just a hot mess and i see people especially women completely losing themselves and it is so sad to see so anytime you feel pressure ignore the pressure okay in fact they're preying on your downfall and let's not put any you know emphasis or understanding towards that we don't need that okay babe please it's okay to not be in a relationship save yourself from these insecure men okay we have to talk about it we have to talk

about it so the other day um hanging on my at the house you know the apartment whatever my boyfriend's like oh my friends are in town they're gonna stop by so his friends show up we're all hanging out we're smoking i'm high as hell okay we just smoked like three bowls of backwoods we're just chilling on our phones whatever i'm scrolling we're all hanging in the living room i see a picture of trump s-h-o-t in the head and listen when i see any sort of news online i have to like double check with at least three different resources a somebody sitting next to me b twitter timeline and what's trending and see like at least one good news source because that's a great way to really just capitalize quickly off of a headline all right it could have been fake it could have

been fake it was not fake it was not fake someone did shoot at trump which is fucking crazy because we're all high as hell and i'm having to break this news like oh my god trump just got shot and everybody in my apartment just started high-fiving i've been seeing a lot of discourse online of people being like you should not support this you should not you know this is not okay you should not be cheering for this kind of stuff babe that man that man is the devil that man is evil capital evil not in a cute silly way in a evil evil evil world dominating egotistical horrible man kind of way the like jeffrey epstein level kind of way you know he was working side by side with that man convicted of many uh sex crimes all right hates minorities hates everybody if it's not

another well honestly probably hates white men too hates everybody that isn't him wants nothing but the worst for anybody that isn't him only wants the best for him listen not saying i support it but not saying i'm angry about it but yeah that was crazy i was so high on my couch and i was like i can't just like say this headline out loud because if it's fake everybody's gonna be like bitch what the fuck so i had to double check a little bit but can you believe that's insane that's insane and you missed crazy anyways i don't really have any takes other than like no need to defend him like that man is evil he had it coming okay i've been getting way too many messages about oh i'm messaging my ex oh i'm my ex just started dating a new girl oh my ex oh

my ex babe babe free yourself that man is not supposed to be living in your head anymore in fact they're your ex for a reason whether you left them or they left you okay please it is cancer season emotions are high you are feeling very nostalgic i get that you are seeking the peace the love the romance of it all but please remember the bad times and why they were bad times and why it has ended now i do understand that sometimes getting back together with your ex can work sometimes you fuck it up sometimes you know you lose a baddie and you gotta go back you gotta circle around you gotta get them back but genuinely like if you're a young person the chances of that happening and like doing that maturely and not burning bridges is pretty

fucking low it's low okay we're young we're impulsive whatever if you're in your mid to late 20s i think it has a little bit more of a possibility of happening but please for the love of god you cannot build a new house with old bricks okay take that to heart oh my god someone just said i was wearing your got weed shirt and a man tried to call me by saying he had weed lol i mean that's the whole point of the shirt you know what i mean i'm seeking out what i can find you know not men not men ever but weed always you know uh i'm trying to make some more fun things so i think i'm gonna do some tote bags soon i had mugs made but i don't think i'm gonna release those till winter when i actually use mugs and drink hot coffee i feel like that just makes more sense

um but i have a lot of fun t-shirts tote bags things like that that i'll be coming out with soon so stay tuned oh someone said not a question but my girlfriend and i love your podcast can you please say hi to her her name is danielle hi danielle thank you for listening i love the cuties on here who listen um and especially their boyfriends who reach out because those are some real fucking ride or dies so shout out to you thank you for listening um my co-worker's name is danny and i every danny that i've met danielle that i've met has been a baddie always oh my god someone said covered in bug bites real i don't know what it is with this summer and these bugs but they're eating me up eating me up completely um pro tip the mario badescu drying lotion that

works on pimples also works on bug bites takes them away immediately so go invest i wish i had a code for you i don't unfortunately so sorry men with snapchat plus what are your thoughts i literally have no clue what snapchat plus is this really shows my age i stopped using snapchat two three years ago completely stopped using it mostly because all of the memories that i had in there were from like high school middle school and college where i was a extremely depressed b didn't know what i was doing and a c whatever letter the fuck is next using way too many drugs and getting just blackout drunk and making way too many mistakes um and dating quite frankly scary men so going through those memories is quite triggering and i realized i need to get the fuck

off that app because listen if i'm gonna talk to my friends i'll just text them whatever um i'll send them a selfie i don't care i'll facetime them in fact snapchat there's no time there's no time you know and the older you get the more you kind of realize that especially what i'm 25 all my friends we really don't use snapchat at all i don't know any of my friends who genuinely open the snapchat app and use it i feel like this is kind of a young person thing but if i was in the dating world right now and i met a man who handed me his snapchat he's not getting any pussy he's not he's not getting anywhere near pussy in fact he's not even getting another word from me because what the fuck do you mean you as a grown man are using snapchat

snapchat so snapchat plus what the hell is that for i literally have no clue what are you paying for snapchat what's going on um yeah no unless you're like 18 i don't understand why anybody is using snapchat i feel like it is a big red flag in my opinion in my opinion um and yeah there's just better apps to use so snapchat plus don't really know what that's for but in my eyes i really only see a red flag from that someone said babe can you please talk about what differences you noticed when you went on a tea break so i've been on multiple tea breaks one was due to derealization and i really needed to just get back into the swing of things in life and stop escaping life and using weed as an escape mechanism and the second time was because my memory was shot

and I was smoking and I could not memorize anything and I could not focus on school work or studying or anything of the sorts so those are the two reasons that I kind of took a tea break other times I've taken tea break have been for like health reasons more so like long throat health reasons maybe I'm sick I can't smoke for like a month I'm having coughing issues whatever it is um but for the reasons when it comes to like derealization depersonalization wanting to reconnect with the world around you i think taking a tea break is a great option um and honestly you will see nothing but benefits from it a million percent if you think weed is getting in the way of you behaving in a normal way in your daily life not smoking will help you feel

normal I just two plus two equals four if you are thinking about it and you are curious I highly recommend it take a week a week a week is nothing in the grand scheme of your life think about it take a week take some time to yourself appetite might be a little harder to trigger you know going but to sleep might be a little harder to trigger I would recommend maybe a little bit of melatonin in the evening creating a good dinner routine cooking for yourself so you smell the food for about an hour before you actually eat that will help trigger hunger receptors in your brain um but if you are thinking about a tea break i highly recommend it you can always go back to weed you know what i mean but if i didn't take those tea breaks when i was younger and in the

past and the many tea breaks i have taken i've taken two year long tea breaks long tea breaks okay very long and if i had not taken those and really evaluated and re-evaluated my relationship with weed and tried to make it healthier tried to understand my triggers why am I using it let's be intentional then I wouldn't be where I am now which is in a very very healthy place I feel like the way that I smoke weed now is a maybe to relax at the end of the night to help me go to bed to chill to really tap into that creative aspect of my brain I do a lot of creative work I really need to utilize it in that sort of way where it gets me off into that distant dream like fairy land where i can just pretend and play and do my thing and paint and collage and create and post

on patreon whatever it is i think weed is a great tool for that that is the tool that i use i think it is fantastic i'm not using it to escape my life anymore to ignore my pain to ignore the voices in my head i use it as a creative aspect a creative tool and in fact healing my relationship with weed had really made me think a lot about my relationships with other substances um specifically a previous substance that i do not use anymore i miss her my best friend molly but i cannot use her because i definitely was not using it in a healthy way had to fix that whole thing and now i'm kind of re-evaluating my relationship with alcohol why do i drink it how does it make me feel why do i feel the need to do so um and how can i maybe re uh strengthen that relationship

or honestly just heal it a little bit um and my next tea break will actually probably be with alcohol i plan on doing a month without it um coming up soon i took dry january and honestly that was the best choice i have ever made for my relationship with alcohol because it really showed me how much i was just kind of not binge drinking but just like drinking to drink for no reason um and then how it made me feel which is not not not great usually so if you need a break take a break you will gain nothing but benefits from it it is a like a routine change so please understand that it's going to be a little hard to navigate okay it's not going to be the easiest thing but you will feel a million times better for it i promise you do not need to live life in tandem with

substance if you think that's not giving you substance all right how to experiment with fashion without cringing later you will cringe later but that's okay in fact making peace with your past selves and loving them no matter what will keep you from cringing because it's like why cringe at least i was fucking trying no one else out here was trying okay no one else out here had the dedication to wear those four inch platform hot pink flip-flops okay to the grocery store no one was doing what i was doing at the time and sure it was a little out there but bitch i was out there okay having that kind of mentality will really keep you from cringing to be cringe and chaotic is to be free because you're not holding yourself to any sort of like higher

standards certain ways of living rules of life you are simply here for the experience and the ride of it all and babe life is a roller coaster so let's strap in let's get in and let's enjoy it okay let's take it for a loop a couple times you know let's get the most bang for our buck out of it okay cringing i feel like usually comes from your outside perspective viewing yourself from an outside perspective viewing yourself from a stranger's perspective and honestly most people are fucking idiots so why would you view it from their perspective when you know it's not going to be a good perspective when you know it's going to make you feel maybe lesser than or put down no we need to keep viewing ourself from our perspective I feel like women we're really

conditioned to view ourself from an outside perspective because we as women especially in the eye of America and capitalism we are a commodity okay we are a commodity we are meant to be viewed and seen and so we always view ourselves from that third perspective from that outer body experience and in fact if you want to connect to yourself as a woman you need to stop viewing yourself from that way okay and if you do view yourself from that way please view it in a positive peaceful loving energy okay when you're viewing yourself please view it from your own perspective and please hold yourself to a like loving standard an appreciative standard sure i was a little cringe there but bitch i was being myself at least like damn that's all we can really

be in this life and in fact 90 of the people out there are not confident enough to even be themselves and that is so fucking sad so hopefully i can get out there and be a 100 myself and inspire one person along the way in order to be themselves and maybe up that percentage a little bit more because the coolest people out there the coolest baddest bitches out there are the ones who are themselves a thousand percent they don't give a fuck about anything else they know who they are they know what they want and they're themselves they don't care they don't care about outside perspective they don't care about other perspective because their perspective of themselves is fantastic so figure out that perspective of yourself appreciate your past selves and the

confidence that they had to go out and to do those things maybe it's not you anymore that's okay babe I wasn't cut off denim shorts fishnets Doc Martens cut off thrasher t-shirt in high school blue lollipop sucker in hand like I was tumblr queen herself in the moment was I a little nervous going outside sure but looking back I'm like damn bitch you know what you did that you were eating up those tumblr girls and I'm glad somebody did it because I know it's exactly what I wanted to do in the moment and honestly when you know what you want the only option you have is to go after it and to become that version of yourself all right don't cringe at yourself once again to be cringe is to be free and a lot of people are not brave enough to be cringe please bring back

cringe oh my god someone said girl help i've arranged a threesome and i'm nervous i won't be good enough sex is not about performance we are not porn stars very simple very simple oh well maybe you are maybe you're filming it and in that case it is a performance but also please understand porn has warped our perception of sex so fucking much where we assume that sex is all about performance and once again outside perspective people watching us no one's watching you no one's watching you sex to receive the best possible sex ever the best threesome ever you need to be into pleasure okay not performance into pleasure you need to be knee deep in that fucking pleasure going after it sharing it with the people with you're with sharing it with yourself you are

deserving of pleasure that's what makes sex fun okay and that's what makes it a good experience so if you are giving pleasure and you are receiving pleasure and you are advocating for both i think you're gonna have a great fucking time i think you will don't stress go buy a couple fun little toys you know go have some fun break the ice a little bit before diving in so you're not nervous so you're not overthinking and once again get into the pleasure of it all that's why i love smoking weed and having sex because as a girl who is chronically too in her head always especially during sex when i my brain was a little warped from porn and i was viewing myself from an outside perspective a little too much and focusing on the performance of it all the weed kind of broke that

illusion because you have no choice but to focus on the pleasure you know what i mean when you're stoned you can really focus on one cent like really one sense and it's either panic or it's gonna be like pleasure so maybe smoke a little weed you know break the ice chit chat a little bit have a little drinky and then get in the bedroom and focus on pleasure someone said what were you scared of as a kid mine was werewolves and la lorona um i was terrified of tornadoes hashtag midwest things um i lived on the outskirts of the suburbs so it was like suburbs farms i lived somewhere in the middle um which means the many of fields behind my house were peak formation areas for tornadoes and i was terrified terrified of tornadoes terrified

of house fires as well i don't know i had a lot of anxiety as a kid and it wasn't over like unrealistic things such as the boogeyman i didn't believe didn't believe uh i knew there were ghosts in my house but also like we were vibing you know but the practical things that scared me scared me the most such as house fires and tornadoes so that's what i was terrified of luckily now i live in the city and i mean house fires are still prevalent but uh tornadoes cannot touched down here thank god so we're safe from one of those things at least ways to trick yourself into staying disciplined and sticking to a schedule slash routine once again you have to pavlov's dog yourself there needs to be a treat for the reward and it cannot be a negative tree

it needs to be a positive treat we need more positive reinforcement in our lives even if it's coming from ourselves okay so maybe i get on the floor and i do a 30 minute pilates routine i'm gonna go have a big fat yummy lunch for afterwards maybe maybe I go work a long ass shift I'm gonna go have a big meal afterwards or a hot bath and relax okay maybe I read an hour of my book okay maybe I read like five chapters of my book read for an hour you know what I'm gonna have 30 minutes of screen time okay I'm gonna chill on my phone now I'm gonna you know positive reinforcement if you need to have positive reinforcement the routines and things you need you stick to need to have good things in there but also need to have fun things in there okay like my morning

coffee that really gets me up out of bed and gets me to do my little chores throughout the day great fantastic fun little positive reinforcement to get me on the way also has caffeine so it's gonna get me moving you need to have like little fun things throughout your life it's what keeps people move in and push in if all the things you do only bring suffering to you and aren't fun and you don't encourage yourself through positive reinforcement they're gonna be really fucking hard to keep doing okay it's okay to have a little fun a little silly a little laugh here and there it's okay to treat yourself to have an ice cream cone at the end of the day you deserve it we're human we do hard things we deserve good things as well also shout out to my airbnb host that

we stayed in Arkansas. I love Eureka Springs. Great. Fantastic. I left her. I left her over my birthday weekend. I left her and I didn't realize until the Airbnb host messaged me and was like, Hey, you left your friend. I was like, Oh no. Oh no. Because my jelly cats are my babies. Okay. I need to have them with me. Usually she's in my Louis Vuitton back. She did not make it, but like a month later they shipped it to me they shipped it to me she made it home are you kidding me five stars five stars always because thank god those airbnb hosts had the decency to send that back to me thank you thank you reuniting families is it okay to sleep with someone even though it's not a quote-unquote good decision rather a fun one fun things can be very very self-sabotaging

you need to find the ideas that are good and fun okay fun is fun but sometimes it can fun can run you into the fucking ground trust me i've been friends with miss molly i know her i know bad decisions i know fun decisions too but the best decisions in life you will make are the ones that are fun and good doing it for the plot doing it for you know the storyline babe you're gonna be depressed you're going to get depressed very quickly because the plot where's the plot the plot is nothingness the plot is fun and bad all right a lot of your guys's plot don't even have a storyline you're just doing it to receive a little bit of attention and a little bit of serotonin guess what babe that ain't gonna last forever we need to start thinking about the real

plot the real storyline the novel of it all how is this gonna affect us in five years is it gonna to be a positive effect or a net negative a lot of the things you guys are doing for the storyline for the plot are causing a lot of more harm than it is good we are not the main characters well we are in our own lives but in everybody else's stories we're kind of the side characters which means you need to be very careful about the decisions you make especially the decisions involving other people fun things are fun you'll learn from them even if they are bad sure but Please don't make too many bad fun decisions and please start focusing on the good fun decisions because there are plenty of those out there. Trust me. Independent girl summer but also I

need to be dicked down real. I was getting an attitude last week. An attitude. A bratitude actually. You want to talk about real fucking attitude? A bratitude. That's how I was feeling. it was dare i say bad dare i say bad dare i say irritated upset angry tired a slew of emotions you know what i needed i needed a good two hour dicking down session shout to my boyfriend he knew he knew what i needed sometimes you know as a girl you can be a fierce independent woman but also need a little penis here and there maybe need a little pussy here and there i can't judge you know what i mean shit what's her name from sex in the city the badass blonde with that cunty little bob listen she was the most independent bad bitch there and she was also

a sex freak okay sometimes you need a little dick to make your life a little better and that's okay in fact you were such an independent bad bitch you'll be able to seek out the good dick conquer it bring it forth like the hunter-gatherer you are okay um it's okay to feel like you need to go you know have a little fun time with some people that's okay we're human we have desires we have needs that need to be fulfilled go seek and conquer babe but also be that strong independent woman who doesn't settle go seek and conquer what's good for you go seek and conquer a good dicking down all right go have that fun little evening sesh with a man who is a fun and good willing participant this is a great one now that i'm kind of like a nine to five girly

not really but sort of um advice on getting myself to do fun things after work when i'm work when i work full time i'm so tired you need to make plans and literally schedule the plans have like a 30 minute window where you can come home take a deep breath scroll on your phone for five minutes maybe take a shower change do whatever smoke a bowl and then you need to be in your car going somewhere you need to make plans where it's like okay I made them a week in advance two weeks in advance a month in advance whatever it is and now I'm gonna go do those things I have them planned after work sure I'm tired I'm tired I get off work I don't wanna I don't wanna I'm exhausted but by the time you like get home you change you smoke a bowl and get there you're gonna be ready

to have a good time I promise because I've been getting off work and I get home and like for that hour that I'm home I'm like oh I'm so exhausted from the world I don't want to see or talk to anybody and sometimes that feeling is real and I do need to sit in silence for a full 12 hours afterwards but most of the time it's just like a feeling that I need to get rid of I need to decompress allow myself to decompress have a good decompression routine whatever it is and then I need to get out and get busy because by the time that hour is over that little decompression routine is over I'm like okay what's next where are we going what's happening like what are my friends doing let me hit them up you know what I mean so go out make plans you will think you'll

suffer I promise you won't um but yeah I think having plans made in advance so then you can kind of understand and kind of process them before getting into them is a great way to kind of negate that sense of tiredness and that sense of lack and get back into the fulfilling of it all you guys I forgot I loaded a bowl and then never smoked it with you guys podcast is almost over now i have a couple more questions i want to get to but i think we need to smoke just cheers the end of this podcast so let's get into it you guys i'm so excited i just placed my sandwich order listen you need a good summer routine you need a good something to do make a sandwich order a sandwich subway it up pack it in a bag put on a hot bikini throw on some denim shorts and flip

flops fat sunglasses no makeup head to a open body of water whether it's a park lake a river a local pool and enjoy okay i'm so excited for my sandwich it's like turkey arugula hot peppers honey jam i'm gonna devour this fucking thing and you know what it's gonna be a great day sure i'm on my period sure i'm a little testy we're gonna have a great time i'm a little high i'm gonna enjoy all right couple more questions and then i gots to go i don't think i like my partner anymore what do i do unfortunately i think you have to leave it's okay it's okay all right people grow apart people change they're supposed to change but sometimes you change in two different directions i feel like this is a very common thing in relationships you realize you know what you're

not the person i used to know and that's okay but maybe we are just two separate people now and we need to go in different directions I feel like that's a very healthy normal thing to realize and a very healthy normal thing to also tell somebody I feel like that is very easy to process and understand of just like you know what we're in two different places we're growing in different directions I just don't think it's gonna work rather than a ghosting situation or a simple I don't like you that's gonna hurt but if you're a little bit more you know real about it and honest about it I think people will really understand but yeah at this point I think you just gotta leave because it's not like you're gonna end up liking them again if you start hating them

start really disliking them it's okay I promise thoughts on back tattoos I actually have a back tattoo and I love it I like a back tattoo because I forget it's there not gonna lie the only tattoo I really see is the one on my arm and then the bad ones on my feet that I need to get removed but also they're part of the life experience so maybe I'll keep them anyways my back tattoo is always a shock always a shock because like even when i turn around i can't really see it if you guys didn't know it's like a big eye on the back of my neck if you go through my instagram photos you'll be able to see it it was my first real tattoo actually i kind of did not mean to get it that big but it's there and it's cute and i think it's a cute little oh like a little little peak

like it's the peeking out of my shirt if i put my hair up it's like oh a little back tattoo moment okay i'll take photos and i'm like okay wow cute sexy highly recommend um if you're thinking about getting a tattoo i think the back is the perfect place because it's always just like oh forgot about that one hi there oh someone said how important the music you listen to is and how it can affect you in good or bad ways yeah i permanently banned myself from sad depressing music when i was like 18 when i was 18 19 i was like no more no more especially as someone who's very easily swayed by emotions and feelings music is all about emotions and feelings it is completely and utterly about that in fact a good musician will be able to convey me like feelings and

emotions through a third party ideal whatever even if it's like painting or if it's music some sort of creative aspect they'll be able to convey those emotions to the point that it physically changes the person's emotions in front of it that's what good fucking music is so when you listen to good music good music especially good sad music it might make you fucking sad that's the whole point whether it's a familiar sadness and that brings comfortability or a unfamiliar sadness and that brings stress and high emotions I had to ban myself from sad music because I was getting swayed too much and then I would only listen to it and it genuinely had an effect on my mental health it genuinely made me sadder so I like was like you know what no more

no more i can't do lord ribs on repeat 30 times i'm going to off myself let's be real like let's take a step back let's focus on some positive uplifting happy music i have one goal especially for this next month or the rest of july is to really enjoy and listen to good music and more music especially around the house while i'm doing chores or in the car while i'm driving i kind of stop listening to music and that's a little sad because when i was listening to positive uplifting happy music good beats bad bitch rap whatever it is i was feeling great you know what you're having a bad day go put on a good fucking song go put on some cali uchis feel yourself out and focus on the peace and the positivity that it is bringing but please understand if you're sad

you're listening to just sad music constantly cut out the sad music I guarantee it will have a positive effect on your life but also props to the musicians for being able to create something like that good that it's able to bring you to that level of emotion like that's how you know a good artist is a good artist when it's able to like convey something without words I'm like I love that I love that when you're able to make someone feel something with a guitar riff you have some sort of talent I gotta give it to you you know what I mean but also your talent might be making me depressed so I'm gonna have to love you from afar dating advice in college don't date have fun enjoy any man in college right now if he is between the years of freshman to halfway

through his senior year he's not looking for a relationship he might find himself in a relationship he might stumble into a relationship but best believe that is the girls doing i genuinely don't believe he wants to be there um sometimes you know you fall into love whatever but especially men in college these days i've noticed they're genuinely only focused on them it's like very egotistical but also i think we need to learn a thing or two from them you know like maybe they have it right honestly like i was talking about your college years what 18 to 22 21 are all about finding yourself in your own world in the adult space in the social space in the friendship space in the space of balance of work and play in the space of maybe romantic interest sex things like

that but it's all about discovering discovering discovering discovering is a little hard to do in a relationship especially maybe a unhealthy one which I think a lot of people find themselves I think it's okay to not date in college to not focus on dating and to genuinely focus on yourself and having fun and having the most fun because if you do that and a man happens to fit in that equation then he's probably pretty fucking healthy for you and he fits your routine and he fits your schedule and he fits your lifestyle and what you deserve in a partner and he makes sure he is adding to the fun of your life boyfriends need to be adding to the fun of your life or else they're just there they're basically just an accessory hello you need to be upping the

interest that I have in my life the same way I'm going to do for you like tell me why my boyfriend dicks me down good and I start wanting to bake cookies like what is that it's because he gave to me I want to give to him your boyfriend needs don't want to give to you he needs to fit into that idealized version of your life and what works best for you if you happen to find yourself in a relationship fantastic give it your all enjoy it until that very last moment or until you die also a very last moment who knows how long it'll last but have fun for as long as you can genuinely best dating advice i can give you for anybody in college is to focus on yourself and focus on having fun and if someone fits in there fantastic enjoy keep having fun but if it stops

being fun something's going wrong all right at what age should I feel like an adult I think I will genuinely feel like a full adult adult like okay I'm stepping into the adult world when I hit 30 genuinely I think from the ages of 20 to 30 anywhere in your 20s you are still kind of figuring it out okay you are still learning there's still little lessons it's still an adjustment period and you're like that's a big adjustment period but that's only like 10 of your life if you really think about it so genuinely i think i'll feel like a full settled adult when i turn 30 oh my god you guys i just had to buy health insurance this month talk about adult things wow wow we need universal health care asap because why is it 400 a month why is it 400 a month for a basic

plan that's why they tell you go to college and get a job from a company because then you don't have to worry about insurance it's just a part of what like it's kind of like a bonus you know like they have to give you health insurance they have to make sure they're taking care of their employees okay maybe a 401k benefit i'm like wow pussy wet who would have thought who would have thought i'd be thinking like this okay now since i'm a independent business owning woman i had to pay for it myself you know and it's fucking expensive if I was president the first thing I'd run on is universal health care hello who can hate on that let's be real sorry I'm really trying to cut that out of my vocabulary I know I say it too much but if there's one thing I'm

gonna be it's say it with me real someone said hanging out with your plug can be a vibe if your plugs a vibe like I feel like a lot of plug houses I've been to it's like they just have a movie on and they're smoking and you're just stopping by and it's like if we're gonna say you're in chat then vibe now I don't recommend getting in or going in anybody's houses or cars that you do not know I've told the story about how a plug basically held me hostage before um yeah please be careful if any of these people are like super paranoid it's gonna make you paranoid okay so chill but if he has if it's a chill plug listen i've dated a couple of mine like if it's a fun time then it's a fun time feel free to chill and hang out and get some free smoke you know we're

girls what are we gonna do go enjoy but please be safe always my loves please be safe please stay sexy and stay as sane as you possibly can but i love you all i gotta go pick up my sandwiches go to the pool i hope you enjoy this fabulous tuesday that we're having and i hope i got to some of your questions if you want to see more from me and i will answer all questions on the patreon this weekend patreon.com and follow me on instagram to see what i'm up to all my cooking reels are on there but with that being said i love you all so very much stay sexy and enjoy the rest of your fucking week i'll see you soon Mwah!