Smoke Sesh - let’s talk drama, bad friends, your body talks & universe delivers

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

Happy Tuesday Hotties! So excited to be back with another episode of the podcast, thank you for showing me so much love these past few weeks and for baring with me today as i fight off this illness i have acquired, we chat what I’ve been up to and how im healing, the Super Bowl and my blackout drunk story from last year, the universe delivers exactly what you need (so be careful what you ask for) grieving childhood and growing up; looking towards the future, am i bad and weird? cystic acne tips, is my body telling me he’s the wrong one? Listening to your body, UTI’s, safe sex & bad gag reflexes, we jump into the dramaaaa and talk Megan & Nicki (don’t come for me) we approach this beef from an astrological perspective and how to become the highest version of ourselves, Aquarius season, moving on and the next chapter, is my anger valid? and how to utilize it healthily, plus much much muchhhh much more. Thank you for being here and hanging out with me on this beautiful Tuesday and I can’t wait to see you all face to face on Thursday! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning hotties of the world, welcome back to another beautiful little episode of smoke sesh i hope you guys are doing amazing on this beautiful little actually warm and sunny tuesday it's kind of crazy it's funny how winter was going strong like everything was covered in

snow for a good month and now boom 60 and sunny i'm like okay spring is approaching we can hold on a little longer i have hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel so excited for spring literally like think about it in three months it's gonna be 80 and sunny and i'm gonna be half naked again running around in my bikini living my best life and honestly i can wait a little longer you know what i mean i can hold out for that i'm so excited anyways if i sound a little nasally a little gross on this podcast i'm so sorry i have been so incredibly sick recently um it's funny because last week I was like you know I'm a little busy maybe I'll I'll ask for Monday off and I I was asking my co-workers if anybody wanted it and no one wanted it no one wanted my shift I was

like that's okay you know I still have energy I'll go in and work and then Wednesday I was like you know I'm pretty busy um I think I'll you know ask my co-workers again if anybody wants my shift no one wanted it I was like oh yeah no whatever it's funny how when you put into the universe and you ask for something it will deliver because I was seeking a day off so bad and then I got hit with the craziest illness on Friday went into work woke up Saturday and I was like oh something is wrong with me something's wrong with me not good and usually Saturday I'm bartending so I had to call in that day I was forced to take a day off the universe heard me and was like girl I got you let me give you this week-long horrible snotty coffee feverish illness

and then you'll get a day off girl I got you don't worry don't worry girl I got you so once again be very careful what you ask for from the universe but I have really just been focusing on my health and wellness recently because wow have I been sick I don't know what I got hit with my doctors don't even know what I got hit with I woke up on Saturday and I was like okay fuck I gotta go to urgent care like I don't have a choice I need to go get some sort of medicine and some sort of medicine that's not over the counter like I need a doctor to swab my ears nose throat everything like please just make me better I'm begging and I hate urgent care because notoriously you know when you go to urgent care not like the ER the ER is different but you know like a walk-in

health center usually you're in there for like four hours waiting for your turn like usually it's busy as fuck so i was prepared like mentally to show up and be sitting there for forever oh i'm gonna have to take breaks during this podcast because of my cough anyways i was mentally psyching myself up i had my friend on facetime ready to go ready to be planted in a chair for about four hours with sneezing and coughing kids and old people around me like I was mentally prepared I was like okay girl there's one thing you have to do today I know you feel like shit there's one thing you have to do today you gotta go to urgent care you gotta power through you gotta get some medicine you gotta do this for yourself and although the universe did

grant me the gift of illness it also granted me the gift of not having to wait because I pulled up in that urgent care and i was the only car in the parking lot the only one there i actually pulled in the parking lot and i told my friend i was like i don't think they're open like i don't see any cars like i don't i don't think they're open who's working here there has to be some cars here no one was there so i'm like okay let me walk my ass inside and investigate a little bit and yeah someone's working the front counter i was the only one there literally no way i filled out my information handed it to the lady she's like great you can head back right now actually I have never had a faster experience in my entire life and honestly thank god because I needed

medication ASAP also shout out to that um urgent care because literally everywhere you looked there were these bright orange pieces of paper that was like you have to be kind to the staff do not yell at anybody it is flu and cold season we are gonna be busy please do not yell at the staff if you yell at the staff you'll be kicked out I was like holy shit I told the lady at the front desk I was like I love these signs these signs are everything to me like I need these signs everywhere I go I need it taped to the front of my body like do not be mean to me or bad things are gonna happen and I will cry so yeah no that was hilarious doctor takes me to the back you know they do the you you know, nose, ear, mouth, whatever the fuck, swabs, testing me for everything. The doctor sits

down, he looks at me, he goes, yeah, so like what kind of medication do you want? What? Sir, if I knew what I wanted, I would have placed an order. Like, I have no clue. You're the doctor, that's why I'm here. My brain's barely functioning because I'm so incredibly sick. I barely even know what question you even asked me, if I'm being honest. What do you mean what medication I want? Actually, you know while I'm here I do need a prescription for some Adderall and some other things no I'm kidding but I was like yeah what do you want I was like I don't know dude like give me something that's gonna make this illness go away so they didn't end up calling me with my test results but I have a feeling I have like bronchitis or something just because of the way my body's

reacting I've never had an illness like this before very respiratory very like nasally lots a drainage and it's taking forever to go away at first I thought it was strep you know strep throat um because my throat was really sore that was like the first thing that I had an issue with and then and then I thought I had the flu just because it was lasting a few more days than usual like if you have strep and you get medication in your system it will usually go away in a couple of days um but now I'm on day five and I'm like okay I'm over it so my mom's like maybe it's the flu because it's lasting so long the flu usually takes quite a bit of time to exit your system but I wasn't having like chills or body aches or like fever or anything like that um so now I think

it's bronchitis you just due to like the chunky cough and all the drainage and the lack of being able to breathe so that's been fantastic I've been dealing with that um and whenever I do something for like my health or I prioritize my health oh shit I got a dentist appointment tomorrow morning I gotta remember that but whenever I prioritize my health in some sort of way I do like to treat myself a little bit afterwards and especially because I was sick you know I had two masks on I walked my ass in I walked my ass into uh the Einstein's bagels next store i got myself a fat fucking bagel with extra cream cheese i looked at the girl and i was like if i get extra cream cheese is that crazy like i need a lot of cream cheese she's like no girl

you're good i got you i got a liter of orange juice and i sat my ass down and i just binge watched tv all day sex in the city slept ate my bagel chugged a bunch of orange juice and water downed as much medicine as i could and basically that's all i've been doing since saturday um was not prepared to be on my ass so fucking hard but the universe knows when you need a break and it will deliver I promise oh my god thank you girl shout out she knew exactly what I wanted um but yeah I have really just been trying to heal and recover when I'm sick I just there's not much I can do other than make sure I'm taking my medicine on time um and drinking as much water as possible because when I if you like have a stomach bug where you're throwing up or you're really snotty

and losing a lot of mucus you are losing a lot of water in that process or if you have a fever you know your body aches you have a fever you're sweating a lot you're losing a lot of water so I really try to make sure I'm staying hydrated eating good food I had a fat bowl of pho I had my bagel it was fantastic um and yeah just hydration good food and making sure i'm taking my medicine on time and as much sleep as i can possibly get that's that's usually just how i indulge when i'm feeling sick the same way i would when i was a child and you know you finally got to stay home from school one day and it's like i'm gonna eat everything in the pantry and lay horizontally on the couch for as long as i possibly can that is exactly what i did and honestly great way to

celebrate this weekend in the beginning of this week so other than that i don't have much to catch you guys up on i've just really been resting and recovering i don't know what this illness is that's going around but watch out guys stay healthy wear your mask if you need to drink your water you do not want this there's one more thing i was going to talk about oh oh my god the super bowl the super bowl pause i'm gonna chug some water real quick and you should too water break just so you know love you the super bowl if you guys don't know i live in kansas city so recently like we've become a winning city i don't know what the fuck happened because growing up like our teams sucked they sucked and it was kind of fantastic because you could get a ticket to the chiefs game

for like 15 they're practically giving them out for free um and the royals the baseball team like cheap ass fucking tickets dollar hot dogs free t-shirts like whatever they could do to get people to come out that's what they were doing and then all of a sudden like sometime in high school the royals won the world series and then very fucking randomly the chiefs won the super rule and since then we have been a winning city and it's been insane to watch because I have never seen my city get so much recognition and people be so kind of obsessed with it and especially now that Taylor Swift is dating uh Travis Kelsey I'm like okay rubbing that Kansas City I love to see it because I do love my city like for a long time I've been like yeah I'm gonna move to LA I'm gonna

move you know somewhere on the west coast and I still think I will maybe later on in life when I'm planning to have like kids and buy a fucking house and settle down but for now while I'm renting like I might as well save money and be in a city that I um have lived in and my family's here and I I really do enjoy it I have a good time living here um and rent's cheap and I'm saving money that way and then I get to travel more you know you gotta give and take it's a little girl math there but last year we won the Super Bowl and I have been saying this I was like honestly i'd be good if the chiefs don't go to another super bowl i don't think i physically and mentally can handle another super bowl because when i tell you i don't even like football but last super bowl

i was a fucking mess i was a mess oh my god i didn't i just like the thing about me is i'm a gemini and i really feed off of people's energy and like if people are hyped i get so hyped and like let's go like let's start drinking let's have a good time let's fucking party like I'm excited so um two Super Bowls ago we won but I wasn't 21 yet so I didn't really do a lot of partying um I was actually working that first Super Bowl we were having a private party for the owners at my restaurant so I was like fuck it let's hang out let's make some fucking money oh my god I made so much money that night I think I made like $1,200 insane fucking rich ass men walking up to me shoving hundred dollar bills in my pocket as if I'm not like a 19 year old

waitress like step away first of all you can hand your money to me I will take it but do not shove it in my pocket made so much money that night just working um sometimes you know you got to prioritize that work over having fun I get it girls sometimes you got to clock in I feel you and that's what I did that Super Bowl but I did kind of regret not going out and partying that night so the next time we went to the Super Bowl which was last year I was like okay girl we're gonna have a good time because last year or not last year the last time I didn't get to enjoy it so this time let's have some fun my mom threw a party at her house for all the neighbors and stuff so everybody's getting together I brought over a bunch of alcohol Rihanna was playing the halftime

show I was arguing with the other women talking about no she's not pregnant she's not pregnant they're like no she's pregnant like she just gave birth like four months ago that's a postpartum body no she was pregnant I was wrong I'll admit it but we were arguing over that we're having a good time we were drinking I was introducing these like 50 year old women to like soju like take a shot with me let's go we ended up winning and when they won me and my boyfriend looked at each other we were like we need to get to Westport ASAP and Westport is like our party center um all the bars in Kansas City all the best bars in Kansas City are in Westport like that's the place to go to party if you're young and want to have a good time so me and my boyfriend immediately

made eye contact we were like we gotta get there because the thing about westport is it is like a whole couple blocks of just bars so people it gets crazy like the whole westport gets shut down the streets get shut down police are just like all around the perimeters to make sure no one's like driving their cars through these massive herds of people like it gets insane so i was like we gotta get there asap before it gets way too crazy so all the neighbors are having a good time we're having a blast my dad finds like a box of fireworks and we go outside and we're shooting off fireworks he shoots one off and it like hits the neighbors hits the neighbors like front window and their neighbors are kind of assholes so it like exploded super fucking loud and the neighbor

walked outside with his hands and his hips saw like 30 people outside and was like nope turned around walked right back inside we kept shooting off fireworks and then we took off took off to Westport I'm like where am I gonna go I don't know what bar I want to go to I just want to go I want to have a good time let's get there we make it there and I like wander into like the closest bar that I could think of and I wander in and it's empty I'm like what the fuck why is this place empty like we just won the Super Bowl where's all the people you know what I mean we beat everybody there I don't know how probably because my parents live pretty close and we were blasting it there but we made it there and then completely empty in this bar i see that the whole section of vip

tables is open so my little ass just like okay i'm gonna take over this section like i don't really have a fucking section obviously i didn't buy one but it's open so i'm gonna go sit my ass in there and hang out now before that pro tip if you're gonna act like you own the club tip the bartenders well if you want to be taken care of in a bar or a club tip the bartenders well if you tip them well they will not give a fuck they will be on your side so as soon as i walk into a bar if i'm buying like a five dollar drink i'll tip five dollars if i'm buying like a ten dollar drink you know after that i'll tip five dollars like i'm always trying to tip 50 or more so then they recognize me they're like okay she's gonna take care of us let's take care of her mutual beneficial relationship here

you know girls anyways i was doing that i'm like five drinks and we're sitting in this vip section just me and my boyfriend that's it and then this place gets flooded with people all the vip sections next to us get filled up the whole bar is fucking filled the bartender's getting overwhelmed and me and my boyfriend for the whole night just had this private section we were just hanging out in no one kicked us out i guess we just made sense that we it just made sense that we were there i don't know maybe it looked like we belonged there or the bartenders were on my side one of the two but I got so fucked up that night I threw up outside of a church I'm talking front steps outside of a church yeah yeah great amazing I woke up the next morning with like an

eyelash stuck to my lip a fucking mess I've never been more hungover in my entire life I don't even like football like why was I getting that fucked up for no reason I mean I had a good time don't get me wrong but i was like i don't think i can survive another another super bowl anyways we made it we're here again we made it to the super bowl i'm gonna try and not get that fucked up this time because that was insane i think about throwing up on the front steps of that church every single day and i know the old grandma's had to show up for church the next day and walk over my puke and i feel so bad about that but it was so fun i just cannot do it again you know sometimes you have a great life experience and you're like check that box let's move forward let's do something else

this time so I'm not sure what I'm gonna be doing um I'm very excited to watch Taylor Swift not really football but shout out her um love seeing what she's up to interested to see if she makes it to the Super Bowl but it's also exciting just to see my city get excited um and get really hyped up for something and just see everybody come together and celebrate so hopefully we'll be able to do that again and maybe take home another super bowl um trophy girl I don't fucking know what it's called anyways I know why you're here I know you want to get into some questions so let's cut the chit chat and let's dive right in you guys fucking kill me someone said girl the universe is working for me I got a job and I came for the first time ever

lmao the universe is on your side that's a lot to do in one week pat yourself on the back I hope you had a good time that's always exciting when you finally come for the first time i don't get the girls who are like i have been in a relationship for five years and he has never made me come girl what what what what what what are we talking about here are you kidding me so what's the point of being in the relationship like i get sex isn't everything but it's something let's be real it's something so what do you mean he's never made you come also if you don't know how don't rely on a man to teach you okay like i get some men have no fucking clue so don't rely on a man rely on yourself if you're curious you know oh i've never came i don't know how you got to get used to the

feeling of your body and like how it reacts with yourself to be able to understand how it's going to react and what another person needs to do in order to make you come you know what i mean so have some fun you time figure it out but shout out to the uh to your new job that's exciting i hope you make all the monies someone said turn 20 today and grieving grieving what girl grieving what life is really only going to get better and you're going to get hotter and sexier and life's going to get easier as time goes on every single birthday i have i look back and i'm like wow ass is fatter skin is clearer having more fun than i ever possibly could have imagined life is good it is good 20 is a hard age though because you're not 21 but you still you're not

like a teenager in that weird in-between spot so i say own the not knowing anything and discover more about yourself this year than you have in the past years um i also understand mourning like your childhood and morning being a teenager that's very real but also when you become an adult and you get adult money you're able to celebrate and uphold your childhood in a way you never could have imagined because now you have money and you have free time and you can go make the things happen that you wanted to do as a child and a teenager happen as an adult which is so nice it's something that people don't talk about when it comes to adulthood and growing up people think it's like oh taxes oh job oh god being an adult is hard and i gotta have fucking kids when you're

talking about mortgage you scary i get that but nobody talks about the side of like now you have freedom and when you're a child you daydream a lot and you dream of all these big things and sometimes you know you just can't make them happen because you're a kid um you're relying too much on your parents maybe your parents can't provide it for yourself you know you have limited outreach when you're a teenager when you're a kid but once you become an adult you have so much freedom and your mind can do anything you can go out there and achieve anything you can make those childhood dreams come true for yourself more so as an adult than when you were a child so don't freak yourself out too much okay growing up doesn't have to be scary things are good i love

you okay how to stop thinking I'm bad and weird well if you're bad and weird you wouldn't be thinking those things about yourself like the worst people don't think they're bad people the worst people think that they're good people or they don't give a fuck because they're themselves and they're just being themselves they don't care what they do to other people like that's their problem like I don't give a fuck like you know what I mean um if you were a bad person you wouldn't be worried that you were a bad person um if you're a weird person you probably wouldn't be worried that you were a weird person either um it's also okay to be weird i would like to say it's not okay to be bad but it's okay to be weird and some of my favorite people on this planet are

like the weirdest fucking people ever because it's such a breath of fresh air oh i get tired of seeing the clones the clones they're everywhere i can't do it with the clones everybody looks the same they act the same they're wearing the same fucking t-shirt and like i get it trends are fun I do I like participating in a trend here and there but sometimes I meet somebody and I'm like oh where's there's no personality in their body I literally feel like I'm talking to an AI robot right now it's eaten your brain and replaced it with a computer chip and that's terrifying to me so I love being weird literally the weirder you are the better to me like I love that energy um so fucking own it I also think to be weird you have to own it um it's only gonna make you more

comfortable and confident in yourself and make other people more comfortable and confident in you so like yeah i might be a weird bitch and i might say something odd every once in a while but like who cares if they're really meant to be around me they'll laugh it off and you know still hang out with me and if they aren't meant to be with me and think i'm too weird then they're fucking lost babe but yeah you're not a bad person i think you promise if you're a bad person you wouldn't think you are a bad person you wouldn't be overthinking if you were doing bad things so it's okay to make mistakes say a weird thing every once in a while let's reflect let's understand let's take a step and let's move forward now okay love you babe

bad friends that's a big theme how to deal with friends that don't defend you when someone talks shit behind your back hate to say it but are they really your friends you know like are they really your friends if they can sit by and have a little laugh when someone is talking badly about you are they really your friends when someone is talking shit about you and spreading rumors and they're just sitting by letting it happen are they really prioritizing you in that moment no not really and I hate to say it because I know how bad it hurts I know how fucking bad it hurts when you share with somebody your trust and you see a future with them and you know you're faithful to them and you would stick up for them and they don't do the same for you they don't reciprocate that

energy back that sucks it's literally the worst heartbreak ever especially when it's with friends where it's like we're supposed to have this bond and we're supposed to be connected in a way where yeah you would stand up for me and you would prioritize me even if I wasn't there like that's true friendship. And if someone isn't willing to do that for you, you need to see that for what it is and set boundaries accordingly. Maybe the boundary is, you know what, you fucked me over so bad and I never want to see you again and I never want to talk to you again. Maybe the boundary is, okay, so I see what you do with my vulnerability and I see what you do behind my back. Maybe I'm just going to limit my exposure to you. Maybe I'm going to limit what I say to you and how I

interact with you I'm gonna limit the information that I give you I'm going to distance myself a little bit it really is depending on what the situation is but yeah I've been through some bad friend breakups where it's like oh I thought you were gonna be a bridesmaid and now I can literally hear you talking shit about me through my door through my door like what the fuck I had the biggest friend breakup I have not had a lot of friend breakups um I've had some good girlfriends that have stuck with me since like literal birth and those were like my best friends ever shout out to them they're so fucking sweet I would do anything for them and they would do anything for me um and then I have had friends where it's like you know distance happens and

sometimes it just fades out you guys get sidetracked with life and you stop talking and then I've had friends where it's like no I gotta cut this shit out like a bad skin cell you know like we like a cancerous tumor I have to remove you from my life um and that sucks and it's painful but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do um I've told this story before but may be able to provide you a little bit of peace when I was in college I met this group these group of girls and they were fantastic and I loved hanging out with them and I had just a blast with them um and you know you meet somebody you talk about housing next year it was like a apartment with four bedrooms you were like perfect there's four of us let's get an apartment together let's hang

out it was going so nice and so perfect until your girl lost her scholarship your girl lost your scholarship and that semester that we all moved in together I made it very clear like I lost my scholarship I am not going to be the fun party smoke hangout girl that I was last year it's gonna kind of suck but I really need to focus and prioritize my grades in order to get the scholarship back so I can graduate um and I made that very clear you know people they were supportive yeah yeah you gotta study you gotta do your things whatever end of the semester comes around and they all finished all of their um finals like two days earlier than me or whatever but I still had finals up until that last Friday that kind of sucks because when you have friends

who have their finals done like they're ready to go crazy and you just can't join because you still have to prioritize studying and getting enough sleep and all that and it does suck to be on the other side of that because you want to party and you want to go out and celebrate with your friends but you're not quite there yet um and you feel like you're like the last person in the fucking race and it's like okay let's just power through so I had like the my very last final which like this final for nursing school was basically our entire grade and I had been studying for months for this final and it was at 8 a.m i was like okay fuck i gotta be up i gotta study i gotta make sure i get enough sleep so then i can wake up at 7 a.m study for another hour and then get

there at 8 a.m and take this test and i made that very clear to all my friends like this is gonna suck but it's something that i really need to do and a couple of days prior i heard them talking about going to a party or going out and partying and i was like oh yeah have fun like do that but just so you know like i do need this place to be a quiet space so i can study and really focus on getting enough sleep and focus on myself like I made that clear set boundaries this these girlies decided you know it was a good idea to not only party which just wasn't the main issue but to throw a party in our apartment outside of my door as I'm studying and as I'm trying to get sleep yeah not only were they throwing a party in my apartment right

outside my door but when i texted them like hey i'm in here trying to sleep because i have a damn exam tomorrow like i understand you're having a good time but can we just like turn it down a little bit like i'm not trying to kick you guys out like i'm not trying to be confrontational just like turn it down a little bit they all started talking shit about me like oh who cares whatever she's fine she's just thinking too much about herself like fuck her let's just turn the music up let's keep partying let's keep having fun and when i told you i've never cried so hard and put myself to sleep so fast from my tears before in my entire life but as a Scorpio Venus where it's like if you fuck me over we're done for like you've burnt all the bridges there's no

fixing them my ass got up I took my exam I aced it I went home I looked them all dead in the eyes and I said I'm dropping out you guys have just blindsided me I don't feel comfortable staying in this apartment anymore I've also realized fuck this I hate this whole situation I also hate nursing school because I have been giving everything to it and it hasn't paid off in any sort of way I don't enjoy it I don't have any friends here anymore this sucks I'm dropping out and although you know I needed to do that for my mental health the school thing the leaving school and it wasn't completely their fault um it did play a part and standing by myself and seeing like no these people treated me like shit and sure I can allow them to seek forgiveness and I can

you know forgive them but that doesn't mean I'm gonna open myself back up to them or really hold a place in my life for them anymore um standing by myself and doing that for myself and you know seeing that somebody hurt me and protecting myself accordingly was the best thing I could ever do for myself is strengthen the bond in myself it made me have higher priorities for the people that I do really appreciate in this life and that they appreciate me made me understand what a good friend is and what a bad friend is and sometimes it takes going through something really really hard and something really shitty in order to understand where your priorities stand and what a good friendship looks like or what a good relationship looks like and

unfortunately I thought those girls were my friends and they just were not because not only were they talking shit about me but they're allowing the people in the party to also talk shit about me um right outside my fucking door so i get that if a friend is not you know standing behind you and supporting you all the way they just simply are not a friend remember in high school um this is what a true friend should have done in high school some girl like started calling my friend like derogatory terms for being a bigger person like just horrible horrible awful things and our other friend at the time literally walked out to her car as she was trying to pull away open the car door and said get the fuck out right now bitch if you want to talk shit about my

friend we're fighting like you don't have a choice get the fuck out right now and of course you know they got a big mouth but they can't stand behind it and this bitch got scared and never talked shit about her again but sometimes that's the energy you have to hold like oh you want to talk shit about me then pull up pull up like what are you going to do now the answer is probably nothing but that's the kind of friend you need on your side the one who's going to defend you whether you're there or not who will not stand by and let other people talk shit about you that's the friend you need it doesn't sound like you have those friends and i'm so so sorry and i promise you will find them okay don't give up hope but learn and act accordingly okay don't let this

happen again you deserve the best never settle for less someone asked cystic acne tips yeah there's two things you need first of all you need benzoyl peroxide i use this benzoyl peroxide by this brand called malezia m-a-l-e-z-i-a and i use their 2.5 benzoyl peroxide gel and i just put that on any like reoccurring areas where i know cystic acne happens to pop up for me my cystic acne is hormonal um so the best thing i can really do is be consistent with this benzoyl peroxide because it will help just dry out the area and make sure there's nothing for you know no space for that um cystic acne to pop up my neck and my back i rub this shit all over my back it's the best thing ever now it won't completely inhibit these spots from popping up sometimes they just happen life

happens you know shit happens so when they do pop up i really recommend having a drying lotion on hand um cystic acne is not gonna pop it's not gonna pop i hate to say that to you don't mess with it don't touch it put on some of this drying lotion so it will kind of like dry up the spot reduce swelling i use the mario badescu drying lotion to spot treat but those are the two things that I use to combat combat just like cystic hormonal acne and they are the best um UTI with a guy I really like people say if you get if you get a UTI it's your body saying they aren't the one I don't think that's necessarily true um usually my UTIs come from me just being not or whoever both of us just being not the most hygienic um and in a sense where it's like

okay so I fucked four times and we're gonna fuck again and it's like girl my uterus can't handle all this I'm developing a UTI as we speak like that's usually how I develop UTIs and I get UTIs not that often but in the past often enough that it was kind of a nuisance and I don't think it was because I was with the wrong person like I've had like two UTIs with my boyfriend I think it was just because i'm like we're just fucking too much like we gotta chill out my body's telling me like chill the fuck out we're literally bouncing around like bunnies like we need to chill um so i don't necessarily think it's wrong person now if it's like chlamydia then yeah probably the wrong person like if it's an std like let's recalibrate and rethink about this person

but a UTI it just happens I feel like it's sometimes just women get them more often or some women get them more often some women don't get them I don't really get yeast infections I never had a yeast infection if I'm going to develop anything it's usually a UTI um and that is just you know a part of something that I am what would be but it's just a part of being a woman unfortunately um it usually is hereditary I always recommend as a woman the best thing you can do to prioritize your health is a find a good doctor, but be something that people don't really talk about is talk to your mom. Um, and it's a little awkward at first, but like talk to your mom. What was, what are their periods like? Because their period symptoms are often going to look like

what yours look like. What kind of, you know, things do you develop pretty quickly? My mom used to get a lot of UTIs. So it makes sense that I get a lot of UTIs. My friends who get a lot of yeast infections, their moms also get a lot of yeast infections. It's just like a hereditary thing um the way your mom's body developed your body will also probably develop the same way the way the things your mom experienced during pregnancy and like giving birth are probably the same things you're gonna expect like before i get pregnant not on the mind universe please not something i'm trying to manifest right now or within the next eight years um but when i do want to be intentional about it and get pregnant like probably one of the first things i do i will

do is talk to my mom like hey what was pregnancy like for you was it easy was it harder did you have you know certain hormone issues did you have like morning sickness what was birth like you know small things like that I think talking to your mom about it and being like what are common things for you as a woman to experience because it will be hereditary um but yeah I think the best thing you can do to just like reduce UTI is like take a shower before you have sex um I'm not saying like you're dirty but usually a uti is a bacterial infection um and it usually just comes from like you know bacteria and we get bacteria we can have bacteria on our hands from opening a door and then touching pussy or dick you know you can have bacteria from like residue from having sex

never ever ever well i don't know if you guys are doing this but pro tip never put have somebody put their dick in your ass and then put it in your vagina do not do not do that ever you will get a very nasty uti or yeast infection not healthy not a great idea but you know you sweat you get a little messy you get a little nasty it's gonna happen i don't think it necessarily means it's the wrong person just shower in between and get some antibiotics girl you'll feel better now i do think there is a phenomenon where your body will tell you if they're not the right one and i don't think it's necessarily through utis or like yeast infections i feel like sometimes those are just normal occurrences within people's lives um but like once again full circle here if

he hasn't made you come in five years that might be your body telling you he's not the one okay um if you don't feel good about your body or good about the sex after you have it if you're not in a euphoric state afterwards that's probably your mind and your body telling you he's not the right one if you don't want to have sex in general with this man or you don't feel like turned on by him that's your body probably telling you he's not the right one you see what i'm talking about but i do think some just womanly health issues are not signs of anything um i sometimes shit just happens you know what i mean someone said bj tips especially for girlies who um have a bad gag reflex first of all utilize that weapon the best you can um men love it when you're like

choking on their dick i don't know what it is they just think they're like the biggest person in the entire world like yeah they're choking on it i mean my dick's huge it's like no it's not a bad reflex but like utilize that you know utilize it to your advantage okay first of all it's not really about what you do with your mouth and more so what you do with your hands and how you utilize all of it so i say utilize your hands a little bit more with what you're doing um use two if you possibly can what you do is you put your thumb on the very base you'll feel like a big um vein going up the bottom of the shaft put your thumb there not hard and then just like wrap your hands around it and then as you are like going up and down with your um hands and your

mouth you kind of create a suction so press your hands together and then press your mouth to your hands so it's like one like one big tube one big suction tube so then really your mouth is only only utilizing like a couple inches of the dick while your hands are covering the rest of the land you know taking care of the rest of it now as you move up and down of course like create a suction with your mouth but then pro tip if you use your thumb to gently like as you move up and down massage that vein on the bottom i guarantee they're gonna come in like 10 seconds like as you're moving up and down just like gently massage that vein on the bottom of the shaft they're done for they're done for also like the gagging is hot they think it's hot so gag every

once in a while if you don't have a lot of spit in your mouth gag a little bit you'll create more spit um make sure it's sloppy make sure your hands are soaking wet no one likes a dry dry fucking hand job or blow job make sure it's a little spitty utilize that gag reflex um and yeah you don't have to take a whole dick down your throat in fact most girls aren't in fact most men don't want that um gag a little bit create a suction tube with your hands and your mouth uh massage that vein on the bottom you'll be good to go girl okay okay we'll talk about it if any of you dox me i am literally my brother's a lawyer i will have you sued so don't play with me i don't play those games you respect my privacy i respect your privacy also i'm not

gonna say anything crazy so don't come for me but literally i have had nine dms about the megan and nikki drama and honestly it's been very interesting to watch just like just seeing somebody lose their mind is kind of crazy especially online when it's broadcasted to a bunch of people um i also think this is on brand for her she has done this a few times nikki minaj just kind of like losing her mind completely on social media um but i want to come at it from a astrology point of view because i think it'll make things make a lot of sense um and especially why these people are reacting the way they are first of all it's aquarius season happy aquarius season your cup truly runneth over um shout out to my aquarius i dated an aquarius man and honestly no hate at all

because aquarius people are just fully completely and utterly focused on what is best for themselves uh at their highest form at their highest form okay at their most powerful form most well-rounded form an aquarius person is really only focused on themselves and what's best for themselves and they simply won't expect less um I dated an Aquarius man he was good to me you know did his best for me supported me uplifted me but also like when he wanted to go fuck other women he made that clear and broke up with me and moved to California he's probably homeless now but for my own peace of mind I really just assume all my exes are homeless like I just imagine them on the street um it does make me happy listen I'm not asking for that knock on wood it's just like a visualization I have in

my brain anyways you know he made it clear he's like I want to go fuck other bitches I actually have another girlfriend in California and I'm leaving you and it's like okay I can't hate I can't hate him because he was real with me he was honest to a fault but he was honest and he made it clear and he cut he cut it off um and that is really the Aquarius energy it's like I know what I want and I'm going after it and I'm making that clear and it is Aquarius season Megan the Stallion is an Aquarius. Once again, her cup truly runneth over. She released her song on a Capricorn full moon, okay? Talk about abundance, prosperity. Literally, the universe is on her side right now and not much can fuck with her. The Aquarius response is also no response. Usually, they're

not even paying attention. If they are paying attention, they're usually having a little laugh about whatever it is they're very go with the flow literally um they are very much so focused on moving on down the river following their path enjoying their time along the way and i do love an aquarius sign i do have to say so um but it's megan the stallion season okay she really really really does not give a fuck it's her time she's on her own contract she's not being controlled and in this in this kind of situation she set up for herself that's how she truly is going to thrive when she is completely and utterly focused on what she wants to do for her own brand what she wants to create and you can tell the song's great visuals are fantastic she is truly living

her best life she's just on instagram posting hot photos unbothered i think there's something to learn about this because there's always something to learn about every single sign when they are at their highest most abundant peak and I think it's very important to embody that no matter who you are but as an Aquarius she is unbothered and focused on herself she's also taking the time to respond I think it's a very good thing to learn from the situation is that it's okay to take a moment and take a step back before you respond to something sometimes when you get a little crazy and I do support my crazy girls out there I do support my girls who are sitting in a dark corner, you know, rocking back and forth, naked, pussy on the floor. Like, I feel

that. Girl, I've been there. Mental institution locked up. I feel you, girl. Been there. Sometimes you got to lose yourself a little bit to find yourself. But I think this is a great time to really take no and understand that it is okay to take time before you respond. It's okay to take a step back and think a little bit and plan a little bit plan accordingly okay um that is the best thing i would really learn from this whole aquarius situation now let's jump into the astrology of nikki minaj nikki minaj is a sagittarius woman i love a sagittarius woman okay they are the most confident they are the most they're aggressive but not in a sense where it's like aries aggressiveness where it's a little scary but you're also impressed they're aggressive in a sense where

it's like they fully understand the situation around them and they fully understand themselves and they do not settle for less the same way an Aquarius does but less subtle um they make it known they do not give a fuck in the same way an Aquarius does but a little bit more aggressively um they are usually the hottest bitch that walks into a room but once again that is at their most uplifted their most full circle their most completed form of a person okay that is what a Sagittarius looks like like baddest bitch that walks into the room queen talk about Nikki walking up those steps to take her award and Lil Wayne is running up those stairs to hold her hand and help her up that is true peak Sagittarius energy okay and there's something to take note about that

that is an energy that I do want to uphold but when the Sagittarius when their ego gets hurt and they drop to a low level version of themselves it gets scary and scary not in a way for other people but you're kind of worried about that person you know you're not scared for the people around them you're scared for the person you're like whoa I've never seen this person be this way and when you hurt a Sagittarius's ego they drop lower than anybody else they really do um they'll start lashing out at anybody around them they will start losing their minds um it's like you know they think they're the baddest bitch in the room but they lost that title and it's like no girl we gotta uplift you a little bit we gotta you gotta uplift yourself a little bit you can't keep

attacking the people around you you gotta do the inward work and uplift yourself because you've drop down. And that's what happens when a Sagittarius gets a little too egotistical and they start taking everything way too personally. And that is just the astrology behind it. When the ego hurt, the egos hurt, they resort to a very low level petty self. Usually a high value person is what a Sagittarius is, but they do drop quickly. And that is what we're seeing here so listen i wish nothing but the best for every woman out there period but astrologically what is happening right now makes a lot of sense um sagittarius dropped to a low level version of themselves and they are you know pussy on the ground rocking back and

forth in a dark corner losing their minds they gotta stop looking outwards for the negativity and start looking inwards in order to fix themselves and work upwards become that bad bitch version of themselves again you can't stop you can't keep blaming other people for your problems for problems that you created you got to solve those within yourself in order to return to that high level Sagittarius woman um I think we see that with Taylor Swift where it's like she's also a Sagittarius woman I believe um but you know she had her little reputation era she hit a low point and instead of sinking lower and letting her ego take a hold she took a moment she took a step back and she popped back out with her reputation and she made it known i am not a

person to fuck with okay like i am the queen bee like don't fuck with me she held on to that crown but she took a step back worked inward cut people out cut the bad ties did some inside work and then she popped back out as the queen she was um and that is really the best way for a Sagittarius to work their uh work their way back up but not losing their fucking mind on like Twitter live or whatever the fuck she was losing her mind on oh my god it was insane it was insane I was so sick in bed just like like refresh refresh what's going on refresh refresh refresh but it made so much sense from a astrological perspective listen when a Sagittarius gets their ego hurt it's like they're out for blood literally um but there's two two ways you can go about that either from

an egotistical perspective where it's everybody else's fault or retreat inwards do that inner self work and pop back out like the bad bitch you are those are really the only two options for a hurt Sagittarius um and I really really recommend doing the latter of the two um now Megan is kind of going about it the right way she really is just living her best life unbothered album working on it song on top looking hot on Instagram like unbothered that is the best way to go about any sort of drama um i feel like when somebody really really really really really wants to fight the best way you can do to kind of um have the higher level of that person is to not feed into that energy like oh bitch you want to fight me cool i well i don't really care and i'm at home

and i'm comfy in my pjs so i'm just gonna turn my phone off and all of a sudden there's no issue you know what i mean like that's really the best way to go about any sort of kind of problem that you ever have in life unrelated to the situation um if anybody is extremely mad or upset with you in a sort of way that doesn't make sense and you don't want to involve your energy you do not have to you have that choice you can not feed into it let them lose their mind on their own time because when somebody is that consumed with that sort of negative energy they're just going to keep feeding into it and keep feeding into it and keep feeding into it because you're not and if you do they will get satisfaction out of it best thing you can do is just remove yourself from the situation

completely and turn your phone off and keep living your best life and honestly Megan got it done right especially astrologically she has the stars on her side um anyways that was really just my whole perspective on the situation I wasn't really there for the beef I was just kind of like what's their sign what are they going through right now and once I looked up their signs i was like oh this makes a lot of sense especially aquarius season listen aquarius they are at their full potential right now if they are willing to lean into it as you should as you should but they do not give one fuck during aquarius season that's for sure that is for sure oh how do i move on from loving someone you gotta redirect your fantasies and your thoughts

in your life experiences because when you've been loving someone or you've been in a relationship and it suddenly ends for better or for worse whatever i don't know what kind of situation you're in it feels like the world's stopped and it feels like you're kind of like instead of at the end of a chapter you're at the end of the book and you're like oh what the fuck are we gonna do now i can't keep rereading the end of this book over and over and over again and coming to the same end and not moving forward and in fact it's not the end of the book although it does feel like it really is just the end of like the third chapter and you got so many more to come girl but you gotta go out and seek out the world in order to have these experiences and grow past this

when i get out of a breakup i i talked about this on the video episode but it's like kind of like the feral girl era post breakup you really kind of have to enter this mindset where it's like i don't give a fuck i just want to reconnect with the world again i want to reconnect with my friends i want to go out and make new experiences and live my life and enjoy it and that is the best way to get over someone and get over a breakup because you will realize the world is so much fucking bigger than the small little relationship you had the small heartbreak and you will experience love again you will make new connections there is hope but you have to get out there and put yourself in these positions in order to kind of have that hope and experience it and realize

there are more chapters to come so i really really encourage a little feral girl era you know get out there go do some crazy shit with your friends go get a table at a club like go bar hopping um go smoke some weed in the park like literally anything reach out to people you haven't connected with in a little bit distract yourself as much as you can in a sort of sense where it's like you're making new connections to replace those old ones and i guarantee life will get better, you will realize there is love to give and love to share and especially love to share with you. So that is quite honestly the best way to get over loving somebody. I think the people who don't thrive after a breakup and have a very hard time and get stuck are the people who keep

ruminating and they don't move out of their fucking house. They stay where they are. They don't seek new connections. They don't reach out to new people. They don't take risks. They don't go to new places. They don't try new things. They stay where they are and they live in that time and place and get lost that is not the healthy way to deal with it sometimes you got to go out and get a little crazy and let loose girl have some fun okay life is meant to enjoy it's okay to also have a little cry to let that emotion go that's fine that's real it's raw i've had my moments where i'm sitting at a fucking bar crying it happens but make sure you got good people on your side go make some friends go hang out go experience the world go create a new chapter

keep your story moving all right every time i put my questionnaire up on instagram you can submit like a like a photo i know you can type in like what you're thinking but you can also submit a photo and i love seeing what you guys are up to like i love seeing when you guys are like posting listening to the pod in the park or on my way to work listening to the pod or you just submit like a photo of what you're doing at the time when i ask what the vibe is for the week and someone submitted like a picture of them and them them and their friends like at a pub all cuddled up like hanging out and i'm like i love that that is the energy comfy cozy out and about sharing a good drink with some good friends literally what's better than that okay i think this is the last

question i know the pod's ending so early i'm so sorry but listen there's gonna be a video episode out on thursday don't worry more content to come you know where to find it on youtube and on spotify you can watch it hang out if you listen to like apple podcast or any other podcast platform it's gonna pop up as an audio episode which you can listen to as an audio episode too um they're always available as just audio but if you want to watch the video they are on spotify and on youtube my youtube is smokes at shawty i believe but anyways someone asked tips for getting over being angry because of how you were treated in past relationships i am here to validate your anger i am i love an angry woman okay in the sense that like you are valid and being angry and a lot

of people tell women to not be angry because it's not a attractive emotion but girl it's okay to be angry like it's okay to be like no this person this person did something awful to me they're horrible and i hate them and i hate them and i hate what they did that's okay it's okay to hold anger for someone it's a part of the healing process okay it's a natural emotion do not be afraid of your emotions and do not be afraid of how you feel okay it's okay to feel anger especially if you were done wrong um i think from the anger you were able to then take a knowledge and understanding of what you want to do differently he made me angry because he did this he didn't you know uplift me in this way he didn't love me in this way and i think the best way kind of post

breakup especially going into new relationships and you're like I don't want to experience that again and I still hold anger for my past relationship is sit down with yourself and write out like everything they did to make you angry all the cons of the relationship literally make a cons only list have that available while you are in your angry state this will be a great way of kind of like cathartically releasing this energy and putting it into a place that is like a good keepsake and a good checklist for when you are then dating in the future um I think it's okay to be you know honest with your future dating partners and honest with what you've been through and honest with most importantly what you are looking for and honest with yourself about how

people are behaving and not making excuses for whoa sorry individuals just like that you are casually seeing um you don't have to make excuses for them you can see them as they are in face value um and understand accordingly but but when you find yourself in these relationships or these getting to know each other's or asking yourself is this relationship going to be good for me you can revisit this cons list and understand you know these are the values that i'm upholding this is what i want from a partner and most importantly this is what i don't want from a partner so if they're showing signs of what I was angry from in a past relationship and they simply aren't the one but you know if they're only showing green flags and they aren't doing these things

then you're not settling for another negative partner or settling for a situation that feels comfortable because you were in it in the past having this cons list to check back in on is a great way to kind of utilize your anger and put it into something more productive but also if you are extremely angry from a past relationship as I said it's okay to talk about how you've been hurt in the past with future partners but there's no need to overshare okay there's no need to be like I was dogged this way and then he hurt me this way and I'm so hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt because that's not you opening yourself up fairly to a new relationship if you need to release that anger girl make a cons list hang out with your friends in the wood

go to in the woods and go to a girl's retreat and just scream okay let it out but the more you kind of put that on to your future partner and you're like well I was hurt this way and hurt this way and this is what I'm used to the lower and the lower and the lower their bar goes for how they need to treat you like oh girl you were dragged to the mud last relationship I barely need to do anything for you because you're gonna love it you know sometimes oversharing doesn't help you in that sort of way. So overshare with yourself and your friends. It's okay to overshare with your friends and say why you were hurt and why you hate them and express your anger and scream with your girls in the woods at a women's retreat. Fantastic. Get that out. Make a cons list. Understand why you

were hurt in the past so it doesn't happen again in the future. But I do think there's a fine line between being honest with your future partner and kind of also being too honest to a fault where they see how badly you've been hurt and understand that if they're I mean if they're a bad person they will take that and run with it and understand like oh you are expecting nothing so anything will make you happy I've been in a relationship like that in the past where I was like yeah my ex-boyfriend fucked me over and this way and this way and this way and this way and then my partner was like oh so I can emotionally abuse you but if I buy you flowers then it's okay because you're used to being emotionally abused but you're not used to receiving flowers

uh woof uh talk about dealing with a narcissist awful utilize that anger grow let it out release make sure you are moving forward accordingly but i think your anger is very necessary and a part of just the growth and development process and it is valid i'm here to tell you your anger is valid i will never ever sit here and tell a woman that their anger is not valid it's just what you do with it okay so let's utilize it in a positive uplifting way love you anyways I think that was it for the podcast you guys I know I'm gonna miss you guys for the one day we're apart but video episode will be out on Spotify and YouTube on Thursday and I can't wait to hang out with you guys and celebrate a little with you um and yeah I've really been loving doing this it's a great

challenge for myself to just get up and create and edit and creatively just put myself into new avenues and thank you to everybody who is supporting and watching the video episodes and showing me love I love hanging out with you guys every single week now two times a week it is a blessing to be here and to have you guys with me and I am just so happy to be on this journey of not only just like self-exploration but also hopefully self-improvement with you guys and the same way I uplift and support myself is the same way you need to uplift and support yourself as well um the way you guys support and uplift me is just so incredible and i am so thankful for you guys and having you guys in my life but show yourself that same love and support throughout the way as well but i will

see you all so very soon can't wait to hang out with you guys on thursday have a safe healthy rest of your week and see you soon