Smoke Sesh - leveling up, cool girl hobbies & finding your passion

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

hello and happy Tuesday! so excited to be back with you all, we have a lotttt to catch up on as we talk my hobby endeavors, finding your passion in life, getting into the world, experiencing the world, surprise movies, horror movies, experiencing life with friends, dry January updates, workout routine, cool girl hobbies, getting weird, leveling up in life, melancholy for the past, celebrating a new start, going on an unconventional life path, small business, working for a corporation, being an inspiration, having a backup plan, making risky decisions, do men really change, how to get a lazy person to change, traveling young, controlling partners, going out with friends, living for male validation, understating grief, getting older, gossiping and shit talking and much much more!submit your questions follow the instagram at hannahmarlenejoin the patreon club at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtywatch the vlogs at YouTube.com/hannahmarlene444

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello welcome back so excited to be with you guys here on this beautiful little monday morning oh tuesday morning we have going on i'm recording this on monday thus a little you know time am i right it's an illusion for sure i've had a busy little morning so far i'm sitting down to record this a little bit later than I usually do, but I'm not complaining because my

morning was honestly so incredibly nice. I woke up bright and early and immediately headed out to the ranch to go, um, actually do a little bit of help around with feeding. And then also I had some writing lessons this morning. We got to go fast. I was so excited. I've been working on up until now, pretty much just technical skills, learning how to, you know, use my legs and my hands in different areas really challenging my brain I do find that riding a horse is very similar to driving stick shift though so if you have any experience with stick shift very different things but if you have experience with having to like move body parts at different times to equate to different movements or different directions you'll have an easy time

on horseback that's one thing some people are surprised by I grew up learning how to drive stick shift if I could give anybody any sort of advice who is young who has not learned how to drive yet I mean I don't know if you're listening to this at 16 years old that might be too young I don't know how old you get your license at 16 right anyways if you're an adult and you're also learning how to drive I highly recommend learning how to drive stick shift I think it's so fun I now have an automatic car and I miss driving stick so much it's kind of hard to pick up at first but I think it's an important life skill for everybody to have because i mean u-hauls big trucks things like that you never know what predicament you might be in and might have to kick it into gear

know how to drive stick i love driving stick i'm so glad my parents forced me to learn how to even though i remember one time quite literally at an intersection getting out of the driver's seat and going over and switching sides with my dad because i was like i'm not doing this like i'm not doing this oh my god anyways so glad I powered through that um but yeah it's been a lot of technical skills learning just about what saddles fit which horse or how this horse moves you know what kind of quirks do they have um and it's been so incredibly fun so far I've really enjoyed it and yeah I was just excited to kind of learn how to post how to canter a little bit today and to basically go fast if you don't know what any of those words mean it was a such a fun time

I had such a blast this morning so it was a great way to just get up and start my day start my week are you kidding me on horseback what is better than that I'm really gunning for that internship position so every single time I'm there I'm like what do you need help with how can I do something for you if you are in a position where you're like maybe in college or you're in a work position where you're like I want to work my way up but I don't know how and I don't want to just be like hey I want this position because sometimes outright saying it feels a little awkward what I have done in my experience that has really helped me kind of get into higher level positions in a very easy manner in a way that seems natural is simply sometimes you got to put some more work

into it and sometimes that work is free work yep especially if you're going gunning for an internship a lot of those internships are going to be unpaid but the experience that they provide is worth more than anything money can give you um and a lot of trying to get an internship or being able to get an internship is just consistently showing up showing that you're interested putting in effort giving a little bit of free work and truly and honestly just proving to the people how bad you want it because I mean if you show up you do the basic of basic tasks you clock in you clock out they're not going to be like oh this girl wants it you know she's here she's enjoying it of course she wants it because she's showing up every week but also she's not going to be our

first pick because she's not going to be you know going the extra mile you know putting in more effort than everybody else so I've really been showing up and trying to do that to the best of my ability I'm like I'll go scoop stables I don't give a fuck like truly and honestly what do you want me to do throw me on the back of the gator I'll throw out some hay for everybody I am here I'm having a blast even though I'm covered in like horse poop I don't care I am here I'm proving to you guys how bad I want it how bad I'm gunning for it and truly just like showing my passion sometimes it does take a little bit of effort on your part for people to pick up on the idea of oh they want it bad they want it more than anybody else let's pick her it takes it takes you showing

up and showing out I will say so I've been trying to do that to the best of my ability but I will say my days are kind of thrown off now because I'm used to waking up and sitting down and filming this podcast bright and early but now I'm getting home around like noon even though I'm showing up there like 8 30 I'm getting home around noon and usually around lunchtime I get super sleepy so I apologize if my brain is moving slower than usual I'm probably gonna crack a red bull here soon to get the get the energy up and flow in but yeah that's really all I've been up to prepping and preparing for summer trying to secure some internships um actually there's one question I want to get to really quick while we're on the topic of like ranch handwork and just

like me loving horses I'm sure this is the last thing you're interested in but someone asked and this is a broad question but I think this topic that we're on now is a great way to answer it someone asked how do you know what you truly want in life and the simplest of answer I can give you here right now let me give you the key to the universe the key to knowing yourself to know what you want you have to try things yeah yeah you don't know if you like yoga until you go do yoga you don't know if you like horseback riding until you go do horseback riding you don't know if you like neuroscience until you go take a couple classes you don't know if you're interested in arts and crafts until you sit down and do arts and crafts you don't know if you're interested

in welding until you do welding you don't know if you're interested in midwifery until you do midwifery it really is that simple because a lot of the times the ideas of what we want in our head seem like the right ideas until we're in the position and then we're like oh either this is really good it feels natural or what the fuck am i doing right now i'd also like to say if you find yourself in a position where you're trying something and you don't like it it's okay to not like things that's the beauty of being in this life is trying new things putting yourself in new positions going after this going after that okay i like this let me adjust okay i don't like this let me adjust but you are not going to figure out what you're meant to do in this life i say

with heavy quotations or what is for you or what your life calling is or what your life's purpose is until you put yourself in positions to discover it because I am sitting here right now and I'm thinking to myself I'm literally like I would be so happy I mean there's many things I'd be happy doing trust like I'm a happy person in general there's a lot of things I'm interested in but I am so passionate about like working with horses and just simply like being outside and being on a ranch like I would love to do that for the rest of my life thus I'm gunning for this internship really hard but like it is truly a passion of mine but it's something that I never thought I'd like I mean when I was a child it was like oh yeah I mean I like horses I'd love to do that the

opportunity never arose my parents didn't have the money to put me in lessons it was like okay cool we can go feed this horse an apple if we drive a path like past it but like that's like the limit of my interactions we did not interact with horses at all horses weren't a prevalent thing on my mind when I was younger I really didn't realize I discovered them until me and my friends if you've been listening for a while we did a group trip to Jackson Hole Wyoming and we went on this beautiful like two hour long ride through the mountains of Wyoming it was just so gorgeous to be out in nature to be on horseback it really showed me just like oh wow like I really love this position and I experienced that feeling and I kind of pushed it down I was like horses

I'll never do that it's not me I've never been interested in it blah blah blah overthinking overthinking overthinking i went on one more trail ride in colorado and i realized no this is like even though i've done it only a couple times this is something that i do really enjoy and if i don't chase that feeling i will be doing myself a disservice by not going after my passions because the funny thing about passions is they kind of stem out of nowhere and if you don't listen to themselves to them then you're not like working within yourself you're not listening to your true You do have to follow those passions and desires. But again, you're not going to discover those passions or desires or what you're supposed to do in this life unless you put yourself in new positions to try new things, to experience life, to get out there, to learn, to like things, to dislike things. That is the way to discover and to know. because it's so funny I'm sitting in this position that I'm at at 26 and I'm like oh my god I love

horses I love working with them I think it's just like so like literally magical like getting out of my head and out of my body and having to work with another animal like almost in a very psychic manner it is just so amazing and it's truly brought me so much joy but also it's something that I never could have thought of so if you're sitting there and you're like oh I'm scouring my brain what can I do for the rest of my life let me think think think think no you're doing it wrong you are doing it wrong you need to get out there and live life and try things and put yourself in different positions like I said it's okay to dislike things it's okay to realize oh fuck I've made the wrong decision I mean I did that with nursing but at least I tried it and I learned and

I realized okay it's not for me this is not my path I can step off this path and redirect and hopefully figure out what path I'm on because the more that I'm out there at the ranch working with these horses working on myself like building these bonds the more that I'm really realizing oh my god I'm addicted and I think I'm gonna have to do this for the rest of my life I fear I have no choice and it's funny how life's purpose and life's calling will really be like that it's like no bitch you have no choice if you step away from it you will feel that hole in your heart I've felt that way with art with painting things like that like I feel like I lost a part of myself when I wasn't doing art for such a long time and I feel that way also like if I miss lessons or you know

we have a month off because there's a massive snowstorm that comes through i'm like oh i'm fiending like i want to get out there it's what my heart is calling to but once again it's not something that you will discover in your own brain it's something that you will discover through trial and error and getting out and living life some things come naturally for me art was something that came natural it was something that i was very interested in but if you're the kind of person because I've been around these people before where it's like nothing has come natural to me like there's nothing that I've been like oh my god child genius at there's nothing that I've been super passionate about maybe here and there and then I grow out of it and realize it's not my

true passion and I think those people sometimes feel very lost in life but I think it's more rare to be born with a passion than it is to not but I understand that feeling of being lost and being like oh my god like people are born with passions and i'm not is there something wrong no you just haven't lived life enough you haven't put yourself in enough positions to learn what you like to learn what you dislike and to just try new things so please if i can encourage you to do one thing try new things get out there you would be surprised what calls to you and it's funny when something finally calls to you because everything immediately falls into place and it's kind of beautiful it is it's honestly really beautiful but yeah I had a wonderful morning that was a great little

revelation I had this morning of just like yeah I need to be working with horses or else I feel like I'm not living my life which is kind of fun it's like it's just funny because truly I never thought I'd find myself in this position I'm very glad to have found myself in this position but it's nothing that I could have like guessed or thought of obviously but what a great way to start my week what a great way to get the ball rolling for the week I have a very busy week coming up i've actually had a couple of busy weeks in the past as well i've been grinding i'll tell you what my youtube vlog channel has had uploads every week so far yes every week so far so far i'm not trying to put too much pressure on myself because when i put too much pressure on myself i start

becoming avoidant it's just natural it just happens where i'm like oh the pressure's too much now i need to ignore everything in my life no no no this capricorn season energy is high i am riding that wave of just passion and fulfillment and I'm putting out as many vlogs as I can so if you want to see me I don't know if you notice behind me if you're watching I don't know how many people watch the podcast or more so listen I'm more of a listener sometimes I'll check in and look around but I went ahead and I repotted all the plants behind me you guys were like oh my god a repotting vlog would be amazing like I need to repot my plants my house needs a little bit of tlc so if you just want to hang out if you want to watch something in the background while

you eat your favorite meal or if you're stoned and you need a comfort video to put on come watch my vlog hannah marlene 444 on youtube um yeah i basically just took down all these plants repotted them made it look all pretty you know they really needed some tlc and who am i to deny them because i honestly was starting to look at them and feel really bad i was like oh they're struggling let's be a good plant mother and step the fuck up i've been going to yoga very consistently i think last week i went four times which is kind of crazy this week i'm slowing down a little bit just because my schedule's jam-packed i don't know why i decided to schedule every single doctor's appointment that i needed this week but it's like dentist dermatologist ob-gyn flu shot

covid vaccine update i'm like oh my god girl it's gonna be a lot for my body i hate i hate the doctors i loathe an appointment even though it's like usually nothing bad it's just like i don't want to do it having to wait up until the appointment or like sometimes i psych myself out it's just no fun and the co-pay of it all you adulting this is what you guys have to look forward to but if i don't take care of myself i'll face bigger issues in the future so i might as well just like dedicate an entire week to get it all done that's kind of my thought process of it all I'm very excited to hopefully get on some medication for my back knee I'm probably most excited for my dermatologist appointment but since I'm doing so many appointments I'm cutting back

on yoga a little bit this week we're just taking a slight step back maybe not four you know classes but two we can do two we can I can commit to two classes absolutely I've been loving yoga I've been kind of getting more so into hatha and out of my basics classes and i'm hoping to hope get into more of a is it called vinyasa where it's a little bit more flowy a little bit more engaged you know some of them are very restful and relaxing but sometimes i'm like no i need a good workout oh and me and my friends have been on our movie grind as well that's the one thing we consistently always do together is just go to the movies i you guys know me i've always been a big proponent of the movies and i'll tell you what if do you guys have cinemark where you are is that just like a

midwestern thing i'm not sure cinemark peak movie experience i love a cinemark down it is it was always like the cheapest theater to go to sometimes they'd have like two dollar tickets so in high school we're like hell yeah we're gonna we're gonna go see the two dollar showing not the twelve dollar showing amc i'm talking to you but amc was doing this thing called scream unseen which is like they release or they they show a movie that is two weeks before release like a new horror movie and you just show up and it's a surprise so it's like who knows what we're seeing but let's go and i was like hell yeah i love a horror movie i love being scared and a little spooky like i love it i don't know what's coming out i'm down for a surprise you know let's live on the edge a

little bit i think it's a fun way to also like introduce new movies or just to get people to the movies so amc that was great marketing on your end scream unseen highly recommend it's the only reason i've been to amc in probably years but you guys i saw the worst movie ever not actually the worst movie i think like it has great ratings on rotten tomato the the premise of the movie is something that i've never seen before but it was called primate and i don't do good with gore i'm not a gore girl i'm not like yes entrails oh my god i'm so into it yes blood and guts no no no no i like a spooky scary psychological thriller i'm not like i want to see that clown murder a hundred fucking people in a in a showing and i fear if you are not a fan of gore primate is not for you

the premise of the movie is someone's pet chimpanzee gets rabies and goes fucking crazy on these people i'm not even kidding me and my friends were curled up in the movie theater seats like this in a ball curled up in a ball screaming out loud we are those annoying girls in the movie theater but like do you want a real raw reaction or not and there was this one guy sitting next to us it was probably all right and he was giggling the entire time because we were clutching onto each other and fucking curled up in balls screaming the entire time anyways it was a it was a fun watch because what the fuck is going on but will i watch it again or recommend it to people no not exactly but if you want a fun thing to do this week go see a scream unseen you know

go support your local cinemas we definitely need to be doing that the baddies the baddies are the one keeping the movie theaters open i'll tell you that that's for sure but that's pretty much all i've been up to dry january has been kicking my ass i've been trying to put myself in situations to be around people who are drinking and to like mitigate that need of like social lubricant oh my god like please can i have a shot um and it's been good the first week's hard second week gets easier by the third week I'm usually like it's whatever so I've been staying strong to that even though the vices are all around me I've been challenging myself a little bit more like oh my gosh at work like around people who are drinking or going out and being around people who are drinking and not

drinking and you know going out to dinner and being around people who are drinking and not drinking it's just I need to really cut that need of like I'm out in public I need to drink I need to really fix that demon inside of my brain the alcoholism let's be honest um and challenge that a little bit so that has been nice i also booked my first trip of 2026 i am very excited i'm going to oregon for a weekend at the end of january go see some family my aunt just finished um chemo and she will be finishing her radiation when i go out there so we're going to celebrate and also my cousin just had a new baby so it just made sense to kind of get out to the west coast a little bit go see the fam hopefully go on some hiking and go to the ocean excited to just like

see people haven't seen in a while and be with that side of the family and also just be in nature it's gonna be good so yeah i have a lot coming up i'm going to a equestrian showing and in a couple weekends it's gonna be fantastic with my trainer um and yeah i'm just overall very excited feeling the high energy I hope you're feeling it too obviously maybe I don't need that third dose of caffeine today because I've been on a roll so far but enough of me yapping like bitch I'm over it let's get into your questions because I asked you guys I said submit your craziest questions submit whatever's on your mind treat this podcast as reddit you know when you're like anonymous on reddit like oh my god I have this crazy problem and I need another human being to tell me if this

is correct or not or like to give their input that's exactly what this podcast is i'm gonna be vulnerable anonymous with strangers online and i really hope they want the best for me and i love that we have that here as well in a much much healthier way i also have a couple call-in submissions thank you thank you um i appreciate you guys sending in call-ins if you want to send in a call-in dm me a voice message of your question i'll be able to play it from my instagram at hannah marlene dm me a voice message there um i will say a couple of you guys are running into issues where you couldn't submit a voice message for some reason the way instagram separates dms is very odd so for some reason if it won't let you submit a voice message be like

hey girl it won't let me then i can accept you for some reason into my general um dms and then you'll be able to submit you on i know there's so many fucking hoops to jump through once i find an easier way to do this i'll let you know i'd love to do a live where i can chat with you guys that would be killer but obviously this is a one-man show and i can barely work technology as it is so stay tuned hopefully this 2026 will have some fun things coming up but if you want to submit your call in hannah marlene on instagram oh and one more thing i'm going to be doing a fun little recipe on instagram i was in the mood for just like a girl meal and so i am making charcuterie dip you've seen charcuterie boards you've seen charcuterie nachos you've seen cooter this that

third and the other but have you ever seen charcuterie dip no you haven't it's time it's time and i'm so excited to eat three blocks of cheese for lunch today honestly what else does a girl need in life what are some hot girl hobbies oh you know what you know what i know you're expecting me to be up here like pilates going to the beach shopping with my friends which love not hitting on at all but honestly the coolest hobbies the coolest hobbies get your pen and paper out they're the weirdest the coolest girls are the weirdest girls with the strangest interests and i stand by that i really do i love a bitch who's like no i do needlepoint competitions with elderly women like what what are you talking about no i train dogs to be show dogs what and

i'm so passionate about it oh i love horses and i love working with them oh my god i train my fish to jump through a hoop oh my god i absolutely am obsessed with fx makeup like there's so many different things to be interested in the coolest cool girl hobbies are the weirdest because it's the most natural to you so i think it's important when you're getting into hobbies to maybe introduce yourself slowly you know work your way up for me personally it started with doing things that other people were doing when i needed to get out of the house when i was in my oh my god agoraphobia phase i'm not leaving my house i'm not even getting groceries i'm having that shit delivered to my front door i just didn't realize i was in a heavy agoraphobia phase for a couple years um until

recently when i started leaving the house more often and i was like oh my god i didn't realize this was an option I was in a heavy agoraphobia phase where I wasn't doing anything I wasn't getting outside and when I did get outside I was so in my brain and overwhelmed with like the idea of people perceiving me that it got me like really scared and so to kind of ease my way back out into the real world I started doing hobbies that I knew were popular heavily trafficked you know obviously popular for a reason and still felt natural to me so I felt like getting out of my bubble um and things like pilates yoga group classes where i don't have to think and there's enough people in the room where i'm mostly focused on me but also it's like takes the pressure off of

me a little bit with other people there so sure if you're also in your agoraphobia phase start with things that other people are doing it makes life easier you know and then you can kind of venture into the weirder categories or your true niche interests once you get comfortable with being in public maybe i'm a little bit more mentally ill than you maybe you're ready to jump into the weird shit go for it there's a community for everybody out there i do know that that's one thing we as human beings we are not meant to be alone we are like we're truly pack animals and that means that no matter what you're interested in there's somebody else out there who is equally or more interested in it than you and has like built a community around it no matter

where you are you could be in the smallest town ever i guarantee maybe like a 20 30 hour drive whatever it is like i have to drive an hour for my hobbies it is what it is you know make time for yourself but there's somebody out there who's interested and is cultivating a group who is also also interested it's very important you get out and do those things another weird thing that like i realized oh my god there's a community around it you never would have thought um gundam figures have you guys ever heard of this very nerdy my boyfriend was is really into it so for his birthday i was like okay i found this gundam figure store let's go i'll take you there i'll buy you a gundam figurine and it's like we got there and i realized oh my god it's not just a

store like there's all these nerds in here and i say nerd with love i never will use that in a derogatory sense like nerd with love because i'm also a massive nerd who were in there like making custom things and chatting with each other and meeting up for group meets and they had like a photo booth spot where you could like you know position your Gundam figurines and take professional photos of them in the store like it does not matter how niche your interests are there's also somebody out there for you who is also interested in that thing and I think with community makes things easier than just doing them alone but I do think the coolest cool girl hobbies are the weirdest fucking hobbies I love somebody who is into something that I'm like truly I've never

heard of that but tell me everything that's what matters if you're following your passions if you're following you know what really calls to your heart it naturally will show you will start glowing you will get excited about life you'll get excited about leaving your house you'll get excited about interacting with other people it'll bring a newfound passion to life make you feel a little bit less robotic but please get a little weird get a little freaky get nerdy. Whatever calls to you is important. It calls to you for a reason, so follow that. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer

Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca this episode is brought to you by Accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync everything else follows Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation analytics and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Hi Hannah, hope you're all right. I hope it's not

too late for a question. I was wondering, this past year I've been feeling really stagnant in my life and it feels like i've been reflecting a lot uh and not doing much and it just feels so uncomfortable right now because i feel like i'm living a lie i'm trying too much to be a good person a perfect person rather than being who I am and yes it feels very tiring and I don't really know what to do and yeah well thanks a lot if you see this message and I love you bye oh my god girl why do you sound like you're on the verge of tears please don't cry please can I tell you something congratulations you've leveled up in life okay you're on the next chapter you're on the next video game level this is naturally what happens okay you sound young

you sound like you're in your 20s this is what happens every single time I hit a phase where I'm like everything's kind of going wrong or I'm like very introspective or it's like I've outgrown this place i've outgrown these people i've outgrown this i feel stagnant i feel like things aren't going my way i feel like i'm doing everything wrong it's because i've completed that level and now it's time to level up you know how you level up you get back into life and you start trying new things okay you start putting yourself in new positions you start going after those dreams you start trying that hobby but that's the only way to do it you break up with that person you cut off that friendship you move to that new place you try this new thing you go

after that new job you sign up for that um raise whatever it is but this is so natural so don't freak yourself out I think it freaks people out especially when we're younger because it's new this is a new feeling to us the stagnancy the oh my god I'm on a roll I'm on a roll I'm on a roll and then it stops like why are we stopping I thought this choo-choo train was supposed to be rolling okay like why are we stopping now I'm freaking out now it feels like everything's going wrong what's happening it's because you've outgrown that phase in your life there's so many different phases to life and like I'm not gonna live my college phase for the rest of my life in fact you should outgrow that college phase you should outgrow those people you should outgrow that

mindset I'm not gonna live my mid-20s phase for the rest of my life by 40 I should have outgrown in that phase I should have outgrown that mindset I should be on to bigger and better things but the only way to really like cultivate joy about it and really like switch that perspective is just like congratulations you're leveling up congratulations this is the time to kind of like you know adjust and shift your life but in a very positive way it's like a new opportunity is approaching and you gotta get that train rolling again if you stay introspective if you stay stagnant you will stay there forever I will say the possibility of you staying there forever is zero to none because that feeling is very uncomfortable and like naturally when humans are in uncomfortable

positions they're going to want to you know outgrow or move from those positions you're going to want to naturally find a way out so you will figure it out you will stop feeling stagnant eventually but if you want to get that ball rolling now ask yourself like what would dream me be doing right now what life would she be living what hobbies would she be doing and start doing those things that's a great way to get that momentum rolling and to make your life stop feeling so stagnant um and naturally like i said humans don't want to feel uncomfortable for long so you won't you will naturally make these adjustments but it is kind of a mourning process i found that every time i do complete a level or complete a chapter of life i do go through that mourning

process of oh damn like it's over isn't it you know oh i do miss my college is over high school is over or my early 20s is over and it's like ah sentimental it's like looking through a scrapbook of oh cute but there's more life to be lived there's more exciting things to see there's more exciting things to do and that's what's so beautiful about life and living it is there's always more opportunities open yourself up for those opportunities challenge yourself put yourself out there build up that momentum you will naturally flow into that next chapter of life but don't be sad okay this is a time to celebrate this is a time to say thanks for that level of life and to open your arms up and your heart up to that next chapter of life congratulations

i started selling my art last year and that has morphed into a small jewelry business oh my god congratulations um but over the past couple of months sales have really been down and i am worried about the future of my little venture. How to stay motivated when it seems like there's no point in continuing. No point in continuing. You're writing that narrative. Okay. Let me be honest. Let me be honest. I have picked a very non-conventional way of living life. There's kind of two paths. There's a lot of paths. Okay. But there's kind of two paths. If you really think about it okay adult brain hannah kicking in right here two paths one the societal path which is okay i'm going to go to college or maybe not even go to college go to trades maybe not even go to trades

maybe immediately get into a company i'm gonna work for a company i'm gonna work my way up in that company and i'm gonna retire you know what i'm not even gonna sit here and talk shit on that because it is fantastic and if you're mentally stable and you've chosen that path congratulations it's great you get matching 401k retirement benefits fucking insurance are you kidding me it's great it's set up that way for a reason you know and it does make sense there's a lot of ease that comes to it there's a lot of just like knowing what happens next it's fantastic it's beautiful i'm not i'm not hating on it it's just it wasn't for me it wasn't for me i was not born to work in a corporation i'm a very like i do not get along well with authority it's just not gonna

work it didn't make sense for me if it doesn't make sense for you that's okay if it does make sense for you that's wonderful congratulations bitch i wish oh i wish my job was paying me fucking like i was taking care of my insurance and matching a 401k oh my god oh it'd be fantastic but it's just it's not my story it's not what works for me second path is being like an entrepreneurial spirit working on jobs working maybe two or three jobs following your passions following your art starting a business and with that comes unstability there's stability sometimes non-stability if you get laid off or something but then there comes the unstable path which is kind of like the nomadic lifestyle where you're making money here you're making money there

you're starting your business the sales are up the sales are down you chose this path that just is what it is it's a part of it and the sooner you realize to accept it the easier it gets with me too you know like i have multiple streams of income but when i was like fully serving it was like okay yeah december's january's february's whatever were very slow months there was also months like that in summertime that were very slow because people just aren't eating out either they're saving money they just paid rent they're not coming out to eat um they're busy outside because it's nice out they're not going out to eat they're doing things more active oh it's a holiday weekend of course they're not going out to eat they're with their family they're cooking

dinner at home like there's so many different aspects that make it more of like a wave like experience instead of just like a straightforward up experience but that's just what it is and like i said the sooner you accept that there's going to be ups and downs the easier it gets on you the downs don't matter okay you can pick up money wherever you need to pick up money if you need to pick up an odd job pick up an odd job if you need to you know maybe start hustling on some content putting out content do it if you need to mass produce a bunch of jewelry real quick to just make some money do it it is what it is like i said it's just a part of that lifestyle now i will say if that makes you very uncomfortable and you do not like the risk factor associated with it then

maybe it's not for you for me i hate to say it like i said my brain's a little fucked up i love the risk I do it makes me work harder I'm like I could fall off at any second like and not that I'm manifesting it but it is a reality with anybody who's like making money on their own it's like the money could quickly not come anymore with with any sort of job it's just that's just how it is but especially when you're like making your own products or running your own business it's it's just something that happens for me it pushes me it makes me work harder I personally like I said maybe this is my fucked up brain but the instability helps me work harder push further you know put more into myself but if you don't have that natural drive and if

you don't like the ups and downs then maybe you need to be seeking a more stable career and I'm not saying give up you know but maybe something you do on the side I understand putting all your eggs in one basket gets spooky especially when the sales drop but you have to understand with sales or with any sort of like business online the nomadic lifestyle i don't even know if that's the right term nomadic lifestyle that seems absolutely very wrong but i don't know what else to call it so there might be a five thousand dollar month and there might be a zero dollar month but if you equal those out that's twenty five hundred dollar months both months you know so it'll it'll even out eventually it'll all come out in the wash as they say but you got to accept

the ups and downs as part of the process and you gotta use that as a boost you need to work harder to push harder to put out more content to make more jewelry whatever it is and if it's something that really scares you and you really need the stability and it really freaks you out and you stay up at night thinking about it and it's just not good for you then maybe it's not meant for you maybe you get a more like secure job and also sell your business on the side and then you get your supplemental income there it really is all dependent but you know everybody's built differently everybody can handle different pressures everybody has different momentum and just like factors in which they appreciate living life some people are meant to you know

work for a company work their way up in a company my brother's like that it's like it makes sense there's steps to take he's good at negotiating he's good at being like a peer to work with it makes sense it works for him it works really well for him honestly if he was in my position he'd be panicking and freaking out like I get it but also flip-flop if I was in his position I'd be panicking and freaking out I'm very happy where I am he's very happy where he is we're two very different people what's important is we know what works for us we know what we're meant to do we know what feels right for us making money wise and we chose those things you know sure I live a very very unconventional life I know when people ask my parents what do I do they have no

fucking clue what to tell them but i'm happy and it makes sense to me and it works for me i'm having a grand old time so who really at the end of the day gives a fuck if that fear is something that really like sticks with you and you don't like the ebb and flow of money you need stability that's valid that's real i understand you maybe it's not meant for you and i say that with all the love and compassion in my heart truly honestly genuinely hi hannah long time listener first time caller or texter not caller i always see that screenshot of you saying hating yourself gets old we're all a little ugly and weird get over it circulating online and it's such a good reminder are you aware of this every time i see it all the comments are like this changed my brain

chemistry are you aware of your impact love you it's so funny you guys at this point i've been on the internet for such a long time so many different things of mine sometimes go viral and circulate but this is that was like the one quote that really has stuck with people which I think is kind of funny and I do see pretty often I get a lot of dms that are like they stole your quote it's like no they're words no one can truly steal them from me I don't care but also it is nice that like something positive has that level of outreach and I'm glad that if anything of mine is going to go viral it's something very positive that hopefully yes does change people's brain chemistry to start believing in themselves that's all i could want truly like some people put out

rancid fucking content that make people hate themselves hate other people it's like god damn what a soul-sucking way to live i hope you have fun burning in hell when we all die do i believe in hell no but i know you ain't going somewhere good i'm securing that good spot i'm securing the world's largest angel wings as we speak because there's one thing i'm gonna spread it's hopefully awareness of self and most importantly self-love but yeah it is funny i do see a lot of people like even scrolling on pinterest i'll see that quote come up pretty often all righty let's get into some call-ins i'm so excited to have these back i'm so excited that you guys are also as excited as i am hey long time listener here um i'm 22 now um i moved to scotland last year

um from England to kind of pursue my work and go to university better myself get more money up um I live with my cat my dog and my chicken um I did move up here with my ex-partner who I was with for five years um I've now been without him um you know I've been single now since September of last year um so a really good while to kind of just be by myself just sort of know what I want um met this guy in November um and we just absolutely knocked it off we were just we got along so well um I met him at my friend's party in England for her birthday um he lives all the way down at the bottom of England I live all the way up at the top of Scotland so it's an 11 hour drive um I've been down to see him a few times just because my family also lived down there so

it's kind of it's pretty perfect really um but next month February he's coming up for a week this is gonna be his first time in Scotland um first time in my flat um and it's I'm really looking forward to it as is he um my question is is it crazy that we're already sort of talking about you know him potentially moving up to live with me sometime you know this year um you know I'm going to be at university for two more years um it'd be really nice to share bills again but also I'm finding the long distance part a little bit tricky I won't lie um but I really really really really think he might be the one for me um he's a perfect mixture of being the same person as me but also being polar opposite in the terms that he's a little bit quieter

I'm super loud um he's a little bit more laid back I always want to go for an adventure but it's not gotten in the way so far and it's almost in a way he's kind of worded it that I'm making him want to go out of the box which is really nice and he's kind of proven that to me with some of the things I've had him doing um but yeah I want to know if that's crazy I don't think it is personally but I know that some people might think it is um I don't want to jump into it I want to take it really nice but I also want to do what I think is right and what I feel you know is right as is him um what he feels is right but I just want this to go well and I really love him I want it to last um so any advice I would love it tell me what you think um continue the pod queen

I love it. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. learn more at accenture.com spotify oh my goodness first of all accents laid love down okay um

i'm seeing green flag green flag green flag green flag i'm seeing commitment understanding knowing each other getting to know each other basically doing long distance and it's working rare that like never not never happens never say never and like as lana del rey says when you know you know so like i'm not going to shit on your intuition at all love but november moving in three months i say you're young you're wild you're crazy if you really fucking want to you know what go for it I say kind of scared like yeah why not you know I do want to make it very clear with you if you are young and you ever make a big decision where it's like this is a little risky I don't know this guy very long he's moving into my place like do I fully trust him do I not

as long as you have a backup plan that's all that matters okay you can be put in any situation this is when it's important as women as anybody to really enjoy and take priority of the process of a backup plan I've always been a girl who has a backup plan and I think it's gotten me very far in life where it's like I'm never put in a position where I'm like well now what how do I get myself out of this position it's always like no i've always thought of the worst case scenario so i haven't figured out a b c d e f g i'll do this i'll do that it'll all work out as long as you have a backup plan where if shit hits the fucking fan and this man you know ends up being a piece of shit randomly or is like broken can't afford bills and then is living in your house

you know or like some random shit happens you guys realize you're not compatible as long as you have a backup plan of like well I'm brave enough to kick him out or I'm brave enough to start Venmo requesting him or I'm brave enough to tell him to his face he's a piece of shit to get out of my house or I'm brave enough to up and leave and find a new place to live then do whatever the fuck you want to do babe high key you know it's okay to make risky decisions I'm not against risky decisions I mean as long as your safety is priority number one that's all that matters risky decisions especially when we're young is what makes us like you know know ourselves more or get to know ourselves more trials tribulations calculated trials and tribulations are good you

should take risks in life i don't want you to live your life in accordance of someone else's rules or someone else's perfect amount of time and if you guys know each other and you are you're set you're like no this is the man for me like i said who am i to shit on love congratulations I know how it is I do you know five years might be different than three months you are definitely in the honeymoon phase especially not spending 24 hours together at a time I maybe would put in a little bit of buffer space where it's like maybe you guys do like a week vacation 24 hours together see how it goes maybe two weeks maybe he comes up and lives with you for a month and then if that works he goes back gets his stuff and then comes and moves up with you you know I like to ease into

my big decisions but like I said who am I to shit on love and who am I to tell you you're gonna make the wrong decision the only way to do it is to live and learn babe of course always have an exit plan you need if you are a human being who likes to make crazy decisions as long as you can form an exit plan and if shit hits the fan you can stay calm cool and collected then you can make any decision you want truly honestly as my gemini brain i can get myself out of anything like usually usually if it's regarding the law not usually because hello duh but like you know i can always figure out to turn a worst case scenario into a best case scenario you know i can always flip that switch in my brain where it's like that sucks i'm moving on but if you can't do

that maybe don't make the risky decisions if you can and you have that strong-willed nature about you like i said who am i to tell you what's right and what's wrong in your life girl be in love enjoy that love 11 hours apart is a long time that's that's also like a good amount of time for him to be committed at a long distance pace like i said maybe like he moves up for a month and you see how it is and then go from there but like i said you are who you are make those decisions that you feel comfortable in who am i to tell you they're wrong how do i turn a boyfriend with low effort into a guy who actually wants to do things you know what i'm like can i tell you something i'm a pro at this let me tell you exactly how to do this are you guys ready you don't

oh i every answer i get is like opposite of what you think you don't you don't the older i get the more i realize you really can't change people when i was younger i used to think oh if they love you they will completely change for you that's what the definition of love is is somebody completely putting themselves aside and 360ing their fucking attitude or whatever the fuck's going on because they love me that's devotion no no that's called control and manipulation babe oh i know i know and it's very scary and sad to hear but i'm gonna tell you something people are who we are we are who we are is that a kesha song yeah you know what kesha said it best we are who we are and i don't think you should change for a relationship even if you're

sitting here and you're like but he should change he's the world's laziest boyfriend he does nothing for me he sits and rots with his ass cheeks stuck to his fucking gaming chair all day and smokes so much weed and does nothing for me and doesn't see me and doesn't do anything for me oh my god then why are you with him you know like why the fuck is he in your house babe that is an intruder like you might as well get a cat they'll at least give you a little bit of love but like there is no changing and your low effort boyfriend will become a low effort husband a low effort father and dare i say just he's gonna stay that way it is what it is now i will say if you're dating and you're young people change people grow it is a part of life personalities and the way we

interact with the world and like the people who we are does change and more so solidify toward your late 20s so if you're dating a lazy low effort guy in your early 20s they're all gonna be lazy and low effort because you're in your early 20s it's just it is what it is but in your late 20s and your 30s if that man is low effort lazy he is who he is you have to ask yourself is this what i want is this what i deserve that's the tea that's the piping hot goddamn tea of it all let's be real when I was younger oh I was lazy I was low effort I didn't know how to mop or clean or take care of my house or basically take care of myself is what it is when you're younger you're figuring it all out sometimes it's all too much relationships at that point in time

are going to be pretty low effort chill not a lot of high stakes things like that but mid to late 20s if he is not a well-rounded individual if he is not you know putting an effort on himself or you or your relationship or his job or whatever it is that he's being a lazy piece of shit about that's because that's just who he is and I think the sooner I've realized the best relationships are one not built in control that's like my take on the whole micro cheating thing the sooner you realize oh my god I actually hate this personality that he has and ask yourself well do I want to live with that or do i not and then either choosing to stay or choosing to leave is the best way to go about things then instead of oh my god i hate his personality needs to change

it completely like that just feels like manipulation at this point if you don't like systematically how a person is they might change for a little bit they might you know adjust to keep the peace a little bit but truly honestly at the end of the day that's who they are they are who they are they aren't going to change fully or completely they shouldn't have to to receive your love and honestly you have to ask yourself at the end of the day is this a personality i can put up with is this a relationship i want to deal with oh your boyfriend never takes you on dates is that the kind of relationship you deserve oh your boyfriend never helps you clean the house is that the kind of relationship you deserve or husband you deserve or father figure in your

children's life that you deserve is he reliable you know if he's not is that the kind of person you want to be with that's what we need to start asking i think a lot of the times it's very easy to take the pressure off ourselves and go he's the problem he's the problem my partner is the problem they have this problem they need to fix it they need to fix it they need to fix it but babe can we take a moment and can we look in the mirror and instead of saying oh they need to completely change who they are ask yourself why am i sticking around is this a relationship for me if he was to never change would i be happy in 20 years if the answer is no you gotta go honestly and like i said this is my adult frame brain forming okay where i'm just like people are

who they are some people are horrible awful some people are some kind of balance some people are just weird some people are this and people are that we're all very very different that's why dating is important you don't have to meet your first boyfriend and be like we're gonna make it work i'm sobbing every night but we're gonna make it work that's what love is right no dating is important to understand personality traits what is worth it what's worth compromising over what's not worth compromising over what behavioral factors are important to me what love languages are important to me it's important to date around to you know shop a little bit okay that seems very surface level but that's truly what it is and if there's anything you're going to shop for it

should be the perfect partner for you but if you're not happy with fundamental characteristics of who a person is you should not be asking them to change you should be asking yourself whether it's worth it to stay or to leave like i said if this person was to never change in 20 years would you be happy if the answer is no you might as well save yourself 20 fucking years and leave now honestly this is a real big sister advice episode this is some real grown shit right now i'm telling you what release control if i could give anybody just anybody any sort of piece of advice it's release control hi hannah so i turn 20 next month and my dream since i was 14 has been to travel this morning i booked a flight to italy and i am so stoked i've never dropped that much

money on anything besides my car but i joined a group trip i'm going solo but i'm joining some people in italy so any tips or recommendations for solo travel travel in general or the flight there um i also have a five-hour layover on my way back so any tips would be very helpful but i love you in the pod so so much oh i'm so proud of you hopefully oh my god i love you i really am hoping that i inspired you to do that because like i talked to so many young people who are like i wanted to and i never did it's like no one's stopping you book that flight i mean money is stopping you i get that but like if you can save up the money if you can hustle a little bit book that flight so I'm so glad you did Italy will be a fantastic fucking trip I'm

very jealous now I think I'd have more advice to give you if you were going solo solo but I think you did it perfect by joining a group trip already um I would say number one the flight over there just like don't sleep before you go and then you'll sleep the entire time the way there that's how I did Japan and it was perfect layovers do not drink on layovers you will be vomiting in the bathroom the entire time that's what my boyfriend did don't recommend drinking on layovers just do the best you can noise canceling headphones comfy shoes comfy outfit change of underwear in your bag yes I brought my whole toiletry bag and a change of underwear I was gonna bring a change of clothes but i decided against it but like if you got an ushy gushy girl like me especially

sitting down and sweating for so long cramped in a tiny little airplane bring a change of underwear okay and then in italy open yourself up to experiences open yourself up to connections um get to know people honestly truthfully like just be who you are it's an opportunity to be yourself completely um like raw and honest and who you are everybody else is also on the same journey that you are if you're doing a group trip so like everybody's in the same position you are and i think that's so beautiful and so fun just like go with the intention of having as much fun as possible and experiencing as many things as possible of course be safe be aware don't hook up with older men if you're gonna hook up with anybody protection protection protection birth

control protection but be safe be aware listen to your guides but have fucking fun you're young you're going to italy like you should be fully committed to having as much fun as possible oh congratulations literally i'm so jealous speaking of releasing control and more boyfriend problems i know i know i hate the boyfriend questions but also the girls are breaking up recently and like if i can give you any perspective on your relationship i'm happy to do so my boyfriend doesn't want me going to parties and clubs with the girlies i don't drink and i would always text him during and invite him but he would never want to go because he's had his party era and i've never even gone to a party because i'm always grinding lols i need to dance

with my girls help he's so sweet though is he he could be sweet but this is controlling and this is when I would tell your boyfriend release control okay you're both miserable because he's controlling controlling controlling controlling yes you should be able to go dance with your girls you should be able to go out and get blackout drunk with your girls you should be able to go out with your girls and do whatever the fuck you want without a man in your ear going I don't like this I don't like when you have fun and you know what if he needs a girl to stay inside maybe he can find that elsewhere also the only way to combat this in your relationship healthily is for you to go out anyways and let him deal with those emotions alone at home yeah yeah i know this

because i'm a reformed crazy fucking bitch i do like i said oh i used to track my partner's location where are they what are they doing think thinking thinking they're doing the worst thing possible oh my god oh my god i was so crazy like please release control and the only way i learned how to combat that like need for control was to be with a partner and allow them to do whatever the fuck they want and yeah sure at the beginning i was sitting at home panicking a little bit oh my god what if they are it doesn't matter it doesn't matter you'll deal with those emotions you'll go through the process you'll realize holy shit i just wasted a whole night panicking when he's gonna end up at home with me anyways like who gives a fuck the more he goes through it the

more he experiences you going out and coming home and everything being fine the more he'll realize it doesn't really matter okay but you cannot leave yourself at home for his comfort because you're still allowing him to be in a controlling place you need to go out and have fun and go fucking dance with your girls and any of those emotions that he's gonna feel he can feel those he's an adult he can have those feelings and he can deal with them on his own but that is not something that you need to deal with or fucking play around with that is an adult baby he can deal with those emotions and i know this like i said because i've been an adult baby cry baby oh my man's going out and partying without me oh my god girl shut up stop being miserable you know

and i understand if you're panicky because you don't have trust in your relationship that's a whole other fucking problem like i said but it sounds like you're in a relationship where there's a good solid foundation of trust you have great communication issues you invite him you text him when you're out and about you're not getting sloppy fucking drunk you're just like out having a good time with the girls healthy good normal every girl should be doing this whether they're in a relationship or not now anything else that happens is his problem to deal with there's no reason you should apologize there's no reason you should lock yourself inside he should deal with these emotions and honestly if you say hey i'm going out with the girl i think you should i

think you should say hey i'm going out with the girls tonight period point blank i'll text you when i get there love you bye if he freaks out on you it ain't gonna work it ain't gonna work because you don't want a controlling man around you i think you should tell him to his face he's being controlling period you know let's put the mirror in front of the person here you're being controlling this is weird i if there's any sort of reassurance i can give you absolutely but i'm doing this i'm going out i'm doing it let him deal with the emotions if it blows up into a big fucking fight because you went out and had fun with your girls that man is way too controlling for you to be in a relationship in but the only way to kind of figure that out is for you to go

out and live your life because you should be able to okay let him let this big ass baby deal with his own emotions okay that is not something you need to figure out you are not being paid by the hour speaking of which if you were being paid by the hour my therapist is 175 an hour so tell him to venmo you if you're going to deal with those fucking emotions 175 venmo now someone said i deleted ig because i'm an addicted whore but i wanted your tips not you redownloading it to ask this question you know what commitment i'll answer answer it right here right now i wanted your tips on how to stop seeking validation from men i've been checking my phone every five minutes waiting for a text uh from a man who is not that into me even though i'm aware i can't stop going crazy

anyways love the pod saludos de mexico can i be honest girl you just need hobbies you need hobbies you need to get hobbies i'll tell you what from experience we've talked about hobbies talk about hobbies a lot the one way to break the need of male validation is to get so fucking busy you you guys i am so busy right now every single hour of my day i am doing something whether it's something for me or something for somebody else or something for you guys or something for i'm doing something and i'm not complaining no no no never ever will i complain about the life i've set up for myself i'm making money i'm happy i have hobbies i'm doing things for myself it's all important but I am so busy I barely have time for myself the last thing you're gonna be thinking

about when you're so fucking busy is if this man who likes you or doesn't like you will maybe text you and I think it's important to be this busy especially as a woman because it's the best way to weed out the wink links okay if that man can't come into your life and make it exponentially better or exponentially easier when you are so goddamn busy you're not gonna have time for him you aren't even gonna give a fuck about him because those low effort low vibrational moves that he's gonna make such as texting you at 3 a.m are actually gonna piss you off instead of be like oh my god i'm so excited you finally texted me i've been waiting around for hours you're actually gonna be like bitch i'm so fucking exhausted it's 3 a.m shut the fuck up what do you mean i need to

come over and give you free pussy now what are we talking about like no i'm actually pissed like why how dare you text me like that it'll naturally weed out the weaker men or the men who only want you as hookups or only want you for this or for that who are there to use you okay if you really want to weed out the wink links you gotta stay busy also if you want to not rely on male validation from the wink links you gotta stay busy you gotta have hobbies you gotta pick up that extra shift you gotta go above and beyond you gotta go to yoga you gotta go do this for yourself you gotta go hang out with that friend like i said if they are not finding ways to make your life interesting make it better spend intentional time with you actually reach out to you make an effort then

it's not gonna fucking matter like truly i'm at a point in my life right now where i'm like no if i was dating i don't even think i'd have fucking time today because i'm so busy and unless that person was perfect for me was trying to make my life easier was trying to show up in ways that i never could have thought of was trying to like ease my workload then i truly could not give less of a fuck so yes any advice for young girls who are like way too reliant on male validation get fucking busy get busy pick up those hobbies go take that workout class go hang out with your friends, the busier you are, the better because you're more committed to yourself. And it's going to take people being very committed to you to fit into that puzzle piece of your life.

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows

to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Hello, my beautiful smoke mommy.

Thank you for all of your service to the girls and the gays and everybody out there. You've been through it with me at my bestie through it all anyways this is a really wild question so buckle up but i was wondering if you have any advice for how to go about starting to mourn the passing of a very young loved one and also this is the main thing how to get over the idea of them watching you have sex from heaven i don't know how to do that so advice thanks bye okay i gotta laugh i gotta to laugh I gotta laugh sorry I know it's not like funny but it is kind of funny here's the thing

I haven't touched on the topic of grief that often on here I have um on the patreon episodes and that truly honestly is because I have not dealt with a lot of grief in my life and like thankful I know it's coming thus is mortality and thus is life I know I will experience those things but i don't feel at a level where i can give input or advice on like extreme grief because i have not experienced it and truly until you experience an emotion or something like very hard and just like the trials and tribulations until you've experienced those things then you actually truly have perspective and then you're actually truly able to give good solid input and advice I've experienced grief you know but nothing in the sense that I think some people do where it's

like very close to loved ones yeah I've had you know grandparents pass away I've had pets pass away things like that but I don't I really don't think it has been so close to me where I've experienced or I've been like at an age where I'm able to process those emotions in a way that is like viable and real and also beneficial to you guys i will say i will say when it comes to because i've thought about this before like i said i always have that perspective of like oh my god there's always someone watching me and not in like a cute sexy way it's like in a oh my god who the fuck is watching me right now i'm scared kind of way so like in the sense of like thinking about your loved one watching you have sex you gotta laugh it off you have to like

sometimes when it comes to the dark emotions you have to just like turn some things into comedy sometimes sometimes laughter like they say is the best medicine thus me laughing at you saying like oh my god I'm envisioning them watching me have sex and like you gotta turn it into something silly if it's really kind of getting in the way you know where it's like oh they're envisioning me having sex but they're clapping you know they're they're cheering me on from the sidelines like if my bestie died and i was like oh my god i know she's watching me have sex i'd be like and i know she's telling me to throw back harder so like for her i will you know this might be more so like ocd thoughts that you're kind of having and it might be a way that your brain is trying to like

control the situation and thus like the control is seeping out into many other aspects of your life and thus I mean with any sort of grief I know once I experience extreme grief I will immediately be seeking a grief counselor I'm very pro therapy as you guys know if you have the means to see a counselor or a therapist I highly recommend doing so and I know when it comes to like extreme grief that I will have I will need help with that and thus I do always recommend some sort of grief counselor or grief group where other people are going through these things like I guarantee you are not the only person who has thought these things and thus it is kind of like you can laugh it off it is silly especially when you're like oh you know taboo sex there's ghosts watching me

it is kind of funny how the brain thinks of these things and you know processes in weird ways and the best thing we can do is to kind of be like lol how human of us this is kind of funny like I said laughter is best medicine but if it is like something seriously OCD like you can't have sex because it's something you're always thinking about then we're gonna need a little bit of like professional help and not because something's wrong with you just because like grief truly and honestly fucks up your brain and like as it should as it should when we are confronted with our own mortality in the form of somebody we love or something we love it's gonna fuck up your brain and that's just normal and natural and I am thankful that I mean I've worked I really do do

a lot of internal processing to understand and to like know when I will need help so when I do go through these things I won't be afraid to ask for them but like if I'm gonna tell you one thing it's like a if it's really interfering with everything in your life then maybe we go seek some professional help if it's just something that pops into your head every once in a while the best thing to do with those OCD thoughts or like the feeling of somebody watching you is just to kind of laugh it off to turn it into a joke and to kind of like oh that's funny you know move forward from there i hopefully that's like a light-hearted answer and as well as a serious answer but i do get a lot of questions about grief so this is a great time to bring it up um i'm not answering those

questions because i'm not i'm like ignoring you or i just want to keep it light so i'm not going to talk about death it's like no i just i i want to give real honest answers here and i want to do it in the best form possible and if i feel like i can't touch on a subject because i haven't lived that experience yet then i'm not going to do it you know there's so many podcasts out there and therapists and and group you know grief groups that you can go and seek this companionship with and i i wish i could provide it for you i can only provide what i know not that i'm manifesting that universe please love of god but naturally in life we will be confronted with mortality with grief with very hard hard emotions and when i get there i will be happy to share it with you guys

but from here on out the only advice i can give you is like if my friend died and i was envisioning her watching me get fucking i don't know three manned i would just have to assume she's on the sidelines clapping me on like like whoo yes girl get it you know oh but also i love getting help that's like my number one thing in life if I could tell anybody is just like a little bit of help goes a long way coping with getting older oh my god can we go ahead and shut down that fear right here right now they're like I feel like I had this fear when I was like what 15 16 17 18 19 20 from that like what is that six years that six year difference I panicked heavy about oh my god getting older being over 20 what am i gonna do what's gonna happen i'm gonna be so

uncool when i'm 26 oh my god 30 oh i might as well be in the grave oh my god i was so young and stupid like truly and it comes with age you will learn this also like picking up hobbies doing things you're interested in getting into work that matters to you like you will realize like the fear of aging that is pushed onto us is such a tool to control us and also like l lame loser honestly the older i get i've said this once i'll say before the older i get the hotter i get the more stable i get the sexier i get and also the more passionate i get about life and another thing the less I care about getting older I thought right now at 26 like 25 training 26 I was like oh my god I'm not in my early 20s anymore and I'm not in my like I'm kind of in my

mid-20s but I'm starting to get to my late 20s I'm starting to panic a little bit and now I'm like I don't give a fuck I'm actually really looking forward to 30 I love that my brain is fully formed now I'm looking forward to 40 and 50 like oh my god who knows what I can do when I'm like a real adult with like real adult money and real adult stabilization like oh my god and then 60 like retirement the dream are you kidding me like it's going to be fantastic you get more freedom with every year you get more comfortable in your brain and your body with every year you learn more about yourself with every year you meet new cool people every year you go through trials and tribulations change sure but like you learn about yourself and you get put in new positions and you meet new

people it's just like it is so fantastic i'm so so grateful that 16 year old hannah 13 whatever fucking age oh my god time flies that's how i know i'm getting old because i'm like what age did i do that like 14 15 i was in the psych ward and i was like no i can't even envision myself being older than 21 it's like thank god her plan didn't work oh my god because holy shit sure responsibilities get harder sure there's more pressure on you or more things you have to figure out but also just like the freedom and the experience of life is so worth it it is such a blessing to get older every single day and year i get i am truly so thankful i envision such like a peaceful life for myself because I truly am committed to it and you know what like I said in the last episode

about writing our own narratives if you want to write a narrative for yourself that you're going to be dead and decrepit at 35 oh my god what a short life you're going to live you know like what a lame short life for me it's like no bitch I got till 80 90 and I'm gonna ride those years out the best I can that's my narrative like I'm gonna get up there I'm gonna get older I'm gonna get cooler I'm gonna get more fun I'm gonna get more freedom I'm gonna learn about myself bitch I'm gonna own a ranch one day I'm gonna have a horse I can ride every single day I don't have it now because I'm a young dumb idiot but like one day I will I know that because with adulthood and with growing older comes stability to comes knowing yourself comes achieving your

goals oh and it's just so beautiful I will never feed into the idea that getting older is like lame or whatever oh you get wrinkles oh so sad bitch get botox if that's really like your fucking one worry oh my god congratulations that you're only worried about the wrinkles on your face like what a little worry to worry about oh no one will think i'm hot and sexy anymore yeah because you're not fucking with like 20 year old boys like what when i was younger i understood the like um not the innocence but kind of like the adolescent perspective of it all it was like getting older lame l and that's like just a part of being a young kid is like you kind of just hate adults and that's because you don't have freedom and you're jealous low-key but once you get older

and you realize oh wow blessings and i'm creating the life i want and yeah it's all up to me but also thank god it's all up to me whoo the pressure gets taken off your shoulders and life gets really fucking fun really fucking fast trust i got bills i have to pay i got doctor's appointments i gotta get to i have things i need to figure out girl i have a retirement account i need to set up or whatever the fuck yeah adulthood ew bills things like that but if that's all you're living for yeah that's gonna fucking suck so please you have to live for other things like getting a cool girl hobby which is just like a weird micro niche interest or getting out into the real world and trying new things so you know what your passions in life are so you know what your quote-unquote

purpose in life is uh i'm a big hater of the getting older perspective it's like yeah i am getting older and thank god because if i was stuck in my 16 year old brain for the rest of my life like i could not imagine something scarier or even like my 20 year old brain like girl mentally unstable did not need to be doing that much drugs or even like 23 like you do not need to be that sad like life is okay it's all right and i know with every year every five years or every 10 years i'll be able to get that perspective and it's just so beautiful to see the growth in real time i'm also very blessed to be sitting here at 26 26 so young are you kidding me and be able to be like wow i've grown so much in 10 years and 16 are you kidding me

oh thank god thank god i'm so blessed to be getting older and that really is the narrative you should write for yourself do not write your life away by thinking it's all gonna end at 35 if that's what you think right now because you're young it's just a part of being young it's the adolescent perspective but the older you get the more you'll realize oh wow there is life to be lived and i'm excited to live it hi hannah first of all i just wanted to say that i really love the podcast i look forward to it every week and you genuinely keep me in check and keep me motivated and just i just get this sense of hope every week when i listen to the podcast and i just wanted to thank you and all the girlies for that my question is about this co-worker of mine

um we work really closely together we also sit next to each other at the office and keeping my distance is just a little hard but basically um she let's just say has this these narcissistic traits and um she gossips all the time about everyone and i just get this kind of feeling that if she's talking about this like this about other people to me she's probably talking like this about me to other people um i have to be very careful not to overshare with her um she's also very good at just ruining the mood she's always in a bad not always she's fun when she is trying to be fun um but yeah she gossips she complains all the time she's very loud she takes up a lot of space basically and I know you've talked about working with older women and you've shared some of your

positive experiences and I was wondering if you have similar experiences to mine and if you have any advice on how to deal with this because you know it is eight hours a day five days a week And I try really hard not to let it get to me, but sometimes it's just hard. Thank you. I love you. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Legendary is here with BetMGM Sportsbook. Sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports. Download the BetMGM app. See BetMGM.com for terms.

18 plus Alberta only. Please play responsibly. Subject to eligibility requirements. If gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being, 211 alberta is here to help call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca that mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the alberta i-gaming corporation standard message and data rates may apply okay have i dealt with gossipy co-workers oh yes absolutely i mean that's like the number one bonding thing you can do with co-workers is gossip but there's like levels to gossip if i'm

being honest um there's like oh I'm gossiping in a very healthy normal way which is just like us telling each other facts back and forth you know like some people would consider you know gossiping being like oh my god did you hear she's pregnant but it's like I'm not being mean I'm just stating a fact that kind of gossiping love like did you hear did you know oh my goodness did you hear about this i love it i love i love being in the know i'm a nosy bitch i love being in the know but there is a different level of gossiping which is less gossiping and more so talking shit where it's like they consider it gossiping where they're like did you hear but it's them just telling you their negative opinions about everybody around you and i will say if you've

ever been around somebody who is only talking talking negatively about other people to you you are not in a safe area they are also talking shit about you behind your back and it honestly has nothing to do with you you've probably done nothing wrong you're probably just being human they just the psychology of it all is they just hate themselves and they nitpick everything they do so they nitpick everything around them okay narcissistic also qualities where it's like maybe they think they're above everybody else and they think everybody else is below them and thus they're gonna talk shit about everybody those people you have to be very careful around and not very careful around where it's like oh i need to cut myself off completely and i need to not talk to them ever

and if they ever talk shit about somebody around me i need to tell them they're being a horrible awful person and no one likes this you can do that you can do that it's an option but for me personally co-workers i don't take seriously i don't take seriously there's no reason you could ever make me take that shit seriously like love y'all down or i don't fuck with you either way i don't care i'm clocking out i'm going home you can't pay me to think about this job when i'm at home and it's not in like a hateful way it truly is just in like i need to protect my peace sort way and you don't have to be friends with your co-workers but also like I'm gonna have fun when I'm at work so if the person who talks shit all the time comes up to me and talks shit I'm gonna

let them talk at me but that doesn't mean I'm gonna tell them like secrets that are going on in my life give them access to anything going on in my life tell them anything about me truly or honestly interact with them in a sense where I'm also talking shit and be like oh yeah I did hear that i'm a very like i'm a receiver when it comes to information i'm also a gemini so that's just who i am people come up to me and they'll be like did you hear about this person getting murdered down the street that happened to me at sun fresh the other day i was like these fucking drivers i look at this old lady she almost get hit by a car i was like these fucking drivers she's like i know there's a kid who killed we got killed on a scooter outside of my house the other day and

then did you hear about this and did you hear about this i was like oh whoa that's a lot but like she obviously needed events so I hear you grandma can I help you get to your car you know people come up to me they say things I'm happy to receive so when it comes to the shit talkers I'll receive but I won't engage where it's like oh wow no you're the first person to tell me that like that's crazy okay all right can I help you get to your car like like literally like sometimes you just got to do that where it's like you're not putting energy into it by withholding energy or by giving energy you're just very much so in a neutral state because when people are interacting in a level that is very negative negative negative negative they are looking for a equal interaction

of energy either you interacting with negative energy to match their energy or with you counteracting with positive energy in which they just leech off of your positive energy me when i interact with negative ass fucking people and maybe this is just me you know being in the service industry for so long where i know how to handle these energy interactions i very much so enter in a neutral state where i'm like okay all right wow okay anyways did you get my fucking email bitch because you have not completed this assignment like I need you to do this hello you know it keeps it keeps the decorum of it all you know it keeps the um co-worker level still there where you like you know you have to work around each other you have to work with each

other if you're like having to be paired off into teams or tackle assignments together then like you're still able to interact but it isn't that like oh energy vampire where you're having to withhold energy or give energy it's just like enter in a neutral zone where you're like okay anyways dot dot dot or um another way to do this is if they're coming up to talk shit like to you or they're coming at you negatively you can remove yourself from the equation you know you can be like i mean you don't just say this out loud you can be like i don't have time for this today or you can be like oh i forgot my coffee downstairs and escape from the experience and like go on a walk real quick and then come back to the situation you know there's ways for you

to remove yourself in a very healthy way where you're still you know managing the decorum of the relationship by having to interact with each other without ruining that relationship but also not feeding into it in any sort of way not having to like put aside your morals where it's like oh this is a shit talker okay I'll become a shit talker no no no like I said a little gossip healthy did you hear are you aware anyways not oh I hate this person because a b c d e f g oh I can't stand that and I work around a lot of gossipers not gossipers um what did I call them shit talkers i work around a lot of shit talkers and honestly this one thing i've taught me is a you ain't gonna know nothing about me i'm not telling you anything about me because anything

i say you're gonna turn that into a negative and tell other people about and also you're kind of just evil so no matter how you see me is gonna be negative so i'm not even gonna give a fuck how you see me you know i know who i am i know i'm good i know i'm chill i'm a good vibe you know if you've a problem with me you can come up and say it's my face but if it's anything that's happening behind my back girl i have an evil eye tattoo on my back for a reason it's because that shit's supposed to stay back there and where my eyes are is all that fucking matters anyways it's a little bit of a longer episode i hope you guys enjoyed i'm just very excited to have the call-ins back so i wanted to answer as many as possible if you have more call-ins or maybe i didn't answer the one you

submitted go ahead and shoot me a little dm like a call in above or here's my call in whatever it is i'll see you voice message to my dms at hannah marlene if your voice message is not responding say hey girl voice message isn't isn't allowed i'll accept it into my generals some are accepted some aren't it's very odd just let me know trust me i'm watching those dms i got you girls if you want to see the vlog me replanting my pots come watch it on youtube at hannah marlene 444 and if you want to see the vlogs early if you want extra content if i didn't get to your question and you want it answered come join the patreon me and the patreon girls have such a fun time over there literally i'm constantly posting i just posted some spell work for spiritual sunday talked about

like uh different ways to like clean your house in a very spiritual way to get rid of negative of energy i just submitted a bunch of journal prompts if you don't know where to start on journaling and need some help getting along if you want some weekly inspiration i share different things from my pinterest board and my personal tumblr account so you guys can see what inspires me and literally so much more we have a new moon coming up so there'll be a new moon right up oh i love patreon it really just i can be a little bit crazier on patreon and we have a fun time over there i'll tell you what but with that being said if you want to join the patreon patreon.com slash smoke slash shawty but with that being said oh what a good week i love you all so

much thank you for being here truly it brightens my week to sit down with you guys every single tuesday could not be happier stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.

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