Smoke Sesh - limerence, virginity, stop dating losers & psychedelics

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Hello hotties and happy Tuesday! So sorry I missed last week but im so excited to be back for another episode, thank you for giving me a little mental health break so now I can be back and better than ever! We catch up on what ive been up to and how ill be celebrating gemini season (and my birthday on Saturday) we talk platonic love vs relationship love, solo date ideas, moderation and drinking, you're cool (and you should believe it), jewelry and where I find it, spicing things up in the bedroom, stop dating losers, free yourself from body aesthetics, how to just do it, job hunts, hot girl hobbies, my current favorites, he's not going to change, summer hygiene, vibe for the summer, what does my family think about social media, virginity, limerence, challengers, party girl mistakes, get tested! men are immature, psychedelics, and much much much much more! I had so much fun with you all this week, if you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and to keep up with what im up to follow the instagram @hannahmarlene chat soon! MUAH!

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all good morning hotties welcome back to another wonderful beautiful little episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host of the sesh and i am so excited to be back with you guys apologies about last week i you know what i haven't missed a podcast in a long time honestly I love doing this podcast. I love sitting down with you guys, but I feel like I do really need

to be in a mental state where I am maybe uplifted, maybe in a good mood, maybe not wanting to D-I-E just to keep the vibes good. Do you know what I mean? Which is why I kind of missed out on last week. So, so sorry about that. If you didn't see an episode, no, you're not crazy. I am. I am. that's why we didn't have an episode um my life kind of got a little bit out of control a little bit too chaotic for my brain to handle thank you gemini season happy gemini season by the way all my gemini hotties um i turned 25 on saturday this saturday june 1st i'm so fucking excited this Gemini season is going to be so good but I really just kick-started my way into it with all the chaos possible imaginable unhandleable I'm gonna be gone like not from this podcast but from

my usual life activities I'm basically just gonna be traveling all of June so I've kind of been overworking myself a little bit um most of May and when it comes to work like this podcast or vlogs or patreon or anything like that where it's creative i love that that is not work that takes away from me that is work that completely fulfills me which is why i get so sad when the shit that does take away from me gets in the way of the stuff i love so i apologize for that but yeah i had a hectic week i worked like what 65 hours last week at a job that physically and mentally kills me slowly um love those paychecks but my god is the general public just absolutely insane um i showed up to work and i was like the only bartender manager server you name it for like

eight hours in a full busy restaurant on a saturday and when my manager finally turned up she was like hey can you stay an extra two hours and i just started sobbing and i left sometimes sometimes you have to let out a good cry i had worked 65 hours that day or that week i worked like five days in a row which are like bitch five days in a row yeah but they're all like 12 hour shifts it's absolutely mind-boggling and then she had the decency to be like but can you stay an extra couple hours i just broke the fuck down i did because here's the thing i'll push myself and i'll push myself and i'll work fucking hard but once i reach my breaking point i break down really fucking quickly it takes a lot for me to cry not that i'm the kind of person

who's like i don't cry because i shit off my emotions and i don't care no no i don't cry because i process my emotions pretty fucking well i have no choice i have bpd if i don't process my emotions I'm gonna be trapped in a fucking jail cell that is my brain so we have no choice basically but once I get overwhelmed and I just get overworked and exhausted and tired and you fucking name it I just completely and utterly break down it's like a piece of paper dissolving in water I just literally crumble in front of people and then they're like then all of a sudden and they're like oh no you can go home yeah bitch I was going home either way so that was fun started sobbing at work left just left I still had tables open I still had people I was serving

I was like I'm clocking out I'm leaving my AC was broken so it was like the first hot weekend of spring summer you know the midwest gets really fucking hot all of a sudden and I'm like why the hell is it 110 degrees middle of May hello and my AC was out the whole weekend that I was overworking myself including the day that I was supposed to be recording this podcast we had you know electrical men in my apartment trying to fix it so I was not going to sit around them and talk about smoking weed and probably sex drugs alcohol love in front of them so I didn't have time to record and then i also caught this like weird summer cold i still kind of am suffering from it where i just had like this crazy headache body aches it was probably just because i was

overworking myself runny nose sore throat you fucking name it it was just the holy trinity of my god am i exhausted and tired and i need a fucking break so i appreciate you guys allowing me to take that break um i feel like we as a whole the smoke sesh community have created such a fun little safe space that you know if i take a week off or if i communicate and i'm like not feeling it not feeling you but just not feeling life like love y'all but your girls just going through it you guys are so fucking supportive of me and so uplifting and i got so many kind messages just being like we love you stay strong you know what I mean and it just made my heart so happy because I love doing this podcast and I love creating this little smoke sesh community with you guys and

hearing from you guys and talking with you guys is honestly the highlight of my week every week so thank you all for being here thank you all for taking care of yourselves please this is a reminder do not burn yourself out you have to prioritize yourself it's okay to say no it's okay to take a break in fact you probably need a break more than you need to keep working forward so just take that fucking break chill relax rest your life will get back on track i pinky promise but my life is back on track um i still like made a little fun self-care vlog last week i didn't want to just not create anything so i did a cute little fun hangout self-care vlog if you want to see that that is up on youtube i believe my youtube is at smoke says shoddy so go give that a little listen

go give that a little comment hi love you i'm just trying to put more content out there for you guys because i love connecting and i love creating and you guys really just bring out a fun creative side in me so i appreciate all your support and i appreciate you guys standing by me as i navigate life you know sometimes you gotta have a good friend to hold your hand and walk you through it and i'm glad we can be that for each other so with that being said welcome back to another fun episode of smoke sesh i have a lot to look forward to there's a lot you're gonna be hearing about from me my birthday's this weekend so me and my boyfriend are taking a little excursion a little vacation we are going out to just like a cabin in the woods i know you're probably like

Hannah what scary but I just want to be in the fucking woods frolicking around like the little fairy I am that is all I could ask for my birthday I'm turning 25 which is a little crazy but honestly every year I just get sexier and hotter so next episode will be a birthday episode I'll go over some things I've learned throughout the years and try and give you the best advice I possibly can while also getting you excited for growing older because honestly every single year I spent on this planet I really just keep having more fun I keep understanding myself more and it is so worth sticking around if you don't feel like it trust me I have not felt like it but it is so worth being here so we'll talk about that next weekend and then in two weekends I will be

gone for like a week and a half um on a girls trip ah with some girlies that I have been best friends with since like honestly for like 10 to 15 years some of them since birth literally our parents had our baby shower together like we were fist bumping in the womb like these are OG girlies that I just love and I've spent so much time with and honestly part of growing up is just you kind of grow away from each other and although you love and support each other you may not connect as often as you'd like or you know you have a little bit more distance in between you so it's nice to finally just spend some time with them and get some good girl time and have a little sleepover we're gonna go like horseback riding we're gonna go hiking we're gonna

live our cowgirl dreams out in Yellowstone so that's gonna be so much fun and yeah those are my June plans it's gonna be pretty busy I will have a podcast up when I'm gone as well um I'm gonna pre-record maybe do a little about me since a lot of new people have found this and found me and honestly so happy to have you here welcome um kind of crazy how quickly things skyrocketed I think I took a break and then the universe was like see you you give yourself what you deserve and then I'll give you what you deserve and yeah like over a million of you guys have found this podcast and found my instagram and have really been enjoying my content so welcome if you're a new viewer if not i'm happy to have you here my og viewers have been here for like three years now

which is crazy going on four wow talk about a long-term relationship but yeah we're back to regularly scheduled content don't worry we're gonna get into all your questions i have so many call-ins to go through as well let's see what's on your mind let's see what you're going through let's talk about some boys let's talk about some girls let's smoke some weed let's eat some food and let's get into it love you I am gonna chug a little bit of this latte real quick though because we need to caffeinate up before we smoke my boyfriend is so fucking sweet though he knew I was having just uh well I mean he knows when I'm having a bad week because I come home sobbing and rolling around on the floor and he's like oh my god bitch what's happening he's like oh

hey babe what's going on so he took me on a few dates last week because i just i took some time off from life in general and i needed to connect with myself a little bit so he took me on a few dates we went to a baseball game if you need a fun little summer activity a little people watching activity babe go to a baseball game get those our tickets were like 15 get those 15 nose bleeds and just hang out and watch the people around you and have a little laugh like there's nothing funnier than the jumbotron getting a hot dog getting a beer getting some peanuts i don't know and just like chilling in the sunshine so we did that and then we also went he took me strawberry picking like are you kidding me if you want to see the photos they're on my instagram at

hannah marlene but he went strawberry picking i made some fresh strawberry pastries we just hung out and frolicked in some fields and had some strawberry donuts and strawberry lemonade and it was so great it was so sweet and then i worked yesterday and i came home and he had like deep cleaned the whole entire house like scrubbed the baseboards did the laundry did the dishes all the things that just like are the bane of my existence he did those for me so love him for that thank you for keeping my life on track so i can keep being hot sexy hannah you know what i mean shout out to him but let's get in some of these questions someone said thoughts on very strong love within female friendships versus life partner love i think it's the same exact kind of love

maybe there's no well maybe there is but maybe there's no like sexual attraction but the kind of love that exists on the platonic level is the same kind of love that exists and keeps like relationships alive it's the same passion it's the same love it's the same devotion and i think people take their friendships for granted a lot because they prioritize like relationship love over friendship love but you can find and receive the same kind of love that you're seeking in a partner in friendships and in fact i encourage you to seek most of your love in friendships they're going to be more stable they're going to be more understanding they're going to be probably more fun and less messy um if you are out there seeking love and seeking devotion and

you want to be in a relationship relationship relationships pause look around you do you have friends you can pour your love into do we have friendships we can pour our love into because you're gonna get more out of that than you probably ever would a relationship i promise you and not to shit on relationships i just think people prioritize relationships a little bit too much like being in love is so fun but like you can be in love with a moment you can be in love with your friends you can be in love with your family do you know what i mean you don't have to only prioritize love in a romantic relationship way you can prioritize love in an every moment kind of way and once you start seeking and finding that in your life i feel like it starts to bloom

and blossom a little bit actually a lot better than if you were just seeking it in men in relationships of that sort so if you need some love don't go after that man hitting you up at 2am please for the love of god you have so many friends around you who want to love and uplift and support you so lean into that someone said hannah what the fuck is going on at all hope you have a wonderful day literally no one knows no one knows and that's the beauty of gemini season don't try and figure it out don't try and put a label on things don't try and secure anything right now just have fun and live in the moment and do the best you can this very moment that's you survive gemini season that's how i survive every day as a gemini let's be real um but you

have to roll with the chaos okay right now you are on a inner tube in a floating river and your goal is just to hang on to that inner tube and ride the waves the best you can okay it'll get a little bumpy at some points it'll get a little fast at some points maybe a little slow but you stay on that fucking inner tube you hold on and you lay in the sunshine and have a little laugh and enjoy your time you know but yeah no one knows what the fuck's going on don't try and figure it out you're just gonna confuse yourself cute solo date ideas back home from college and have no friends girl pack a picnic blanket pack some strawberries pack some chocolate make yourself a sandwich put some markers and a notepad in a bag go to the local park and lay out in the sunshine

that is my perfect solo date in fact that's what i spent a majority of the pandemic doing when i was living with my parents pre or in the beginning of the pandemic when i needed to escape from life and get the fuck away from them because i love my parents but holy shit do they drive me crazy every once in a while like hello that's what parents are for i would literally just be like okay i'm going to the park because a social social distancing like i'm not talking to anybody at the park i'm just minding my own fucking business but also it felt like a nice little escape so if you need a solo day i would say just like pack up some fun things to do go to the park go on a walk go people watch honestly people watching is one of my favorite things to do um but yeah go out

enjoy don't hold yourself back especially this summer this summer is all about going after what the fuck you want and not holding yourself back babe we are outside this summer someone said i want to stop drinking but don't want to miss social events the balance is so hard yeah i feel like especially with drinking at a young age like a lot of people's social events do revolve around drinking it's like we're going to a bar we're going to a brewery we're going to blah blah blah and that's fun and fantastic and great it just gets really draining it does oh my god alcohol listen weed i can smoke weed all the time i feel okay not everybody can feel that way but i know personally that's how i behave and act like i can smoke a joint and i'm not gonna be hung over

tomorrow do you know what I mean but alcohol when it's when you're younger it's fun but I've spent so many of my years drinking like I started drinking at what 13 14 do you know what I mean and I'm turning 25 like I've spent at least 10 years of my life drinking and all I've learned from it is it's not as fun as you think it's not I love now having like a little craft cocktail or going to a local brewery and sampling something or getting a bottle of wine from a local winery you know something where it's like more of a connection rather than this need to be drunk in order to socialize or this need to be drunk in order to fit in that is a very dangerous path to fall down and I feel like a lot of people especially in their 20s early 20s mid-20s

start falling down that path because it's so easy and everybody around you is doing it but my god does it slowly kill you my brain functions at like half the capacity it did the day before if i spend the night before drinking it takes so much out of you your body has a hard time processing it it slows you down you know what i mean and sure it's fun in the moment but that next day oof the older you get one thing they don't tell you is the older you get the worse your hangovers get like I can only have a couple drinks and I know the next day is going to be a bitch you know like I know my head's going to be throbbing I know my joints are going to hurt holy shit am I 80 maybe but I know I'm gonna not feel great tomorrow whereas when I was 21

I was blacking out I'm tucking 12 shots in the span of two hours blacking out throwing up up till 5 a.m probably doing a vast majority of other drugs and then waking up at 8 a.m and like clocking in and being completely fine that's crazy but yeah the older you get the more you realize wow this really has a toll on me and then you'll start questioning your relationship with it a little bit more i'm kind of a moderation gal do you know what i mean i love everything in moderation everything needs to be taken in moderation love sex relationships drugs alcohol food moderation is key okay too much of anything is going to be bad too much alcohol not good too much food not great too much sex my pussy's gonna be hurting do you know what i mean i think if you want to

reevaluate your relationship with alcohol i would just start reevaluating how you're consuming it when you're consuming it and if you can do it in moderation I think a couple drinks here and there is not that big of a deal when I started focusing on the moderation though I started realizing oh I can't do it in moderation and that's when I realized my relationship with alcohol was not the best because it was either I'm having 10 drinks or I'm having none so now I'm kind of on the side where it's like I'm gonna have none or one but I have to be really careful with that because holy shit does it take it out of me and also if you're afraid of like missing out on social events i think you can easily replace alcohol with something else like a liquid death

can a sparkling thc beverage perhaps a nowadays or a wink beverage maybe a joint you know i love replacing alcohol with weed in my life especially because i know weed isn't gonna make me feel bad and it's also the same kind of social lubricant so someone asked self-love slash confidence building self-sabotage is real honestly I really believe a lot of my lack in self-love and confidence was because I didn't believe I deserved it like I didn't think I was cool I didn't think I was hot I didn't think I was sexy which is I mean obviously untrue but a lot of that like lack i found in myself was because i didn't believe i was deserving of it bring back thinking you're cool bring back uplifting yourself bring back thinking you're the baddest bitch on this planet

i think you really need to lean into the egotistical side because you haven't indulged enough um when you're young i think it's very important to be a little bit more selfish than you feel comfortable with and I'm not talking selfish in the way of like hurting people or putting people down I think selfish in the way of like uplifting yourself unnecessarily you know like you have to build that confidence in yourself from the ground up so it's gonna feel a little odd it's gonna feel a little awkward it's gonna feel a little bit you know because you're not used to being selfish you're not used to prioritizing yourself but bitch you only have one life to live and there's only one person who's going to be with you at the end of this

fucking road and it's yourself so you might as well build a good relationship with yourself okay don't be afraid to be selfish you are cool affirmation of the day you are cool you are hot you are sexy you are loved you are supported you are uplifted okay let's get those affirmations going let's get a little you know a little selfishness going and bring back thinking you're cool because you are all of my self-sabotage behaviors tendencies things like that were simply me not believing i deserved something or not believing i was cool enough or not believing in myself period believe in yourself if anybody's gonna believe in yourself let it be you anyways we need to do some call-ins so thank you to all the girlies who sent in some call-ins

i love hearing your voice i love hearing what you guys have to say so let's get into it so um i need some advice my boyfriend has bpd as well um i've been dating him for about five months now um and this relationship navigating it has been very difficult since the beginning um but not only do i love him but i also have a very nurturing and caring personality and i love to be there for people and help them um but so i'm a pisces he's an aries if that means anything um but sometimes i feel like he's not trying to help himself to like not get in those head spaces and sometimes I'm feeling a little exhausted from it like I feel like I'm really doing a lot and I can't express my own feelings without having to think about how he's gonna react to it um yeah

okay yeah I've been an evil partner before too and I hate to say you have an evil partner because I don't know everything about him I'm just thinking about my past experiences especially with bpd there's a lot of control issues going on he is not going to like it when you control him especially if he's in a bad place he's not gonna like it when you voice any sort of opinion that you have um so i would say a i hate to break the bad news to you but your love is not going to fix him and I know your little Pisces heart is like but but I but I can but I will but I I can do that and my love can fix everybody no it can't if he doesn't want to get better he's not going to get better and I hate to break it to you but like we talked about before

if someone doesn't want to change they won't when you said I feel like he's not doing the work that he needs to do he's not probably because he doesn't want to and it's not your job to help a human being be the best person they can be because babe you ain't getting paid hourly to be his therapist in fact you're probably losing money and time and precious energy and if you are five months into a relationship once again five months into a relationship you should be head over fucking heels okay there might be minor problems here and there but overall five months into a relationship you guys should be like rose colored glasses fully on crush psychosis fully in both of you kind of pretending you're perfect human beings because you want to be a perfect human being for

that other person you are in the honeymoon phase okay you should not be having a lot of problems at five months and if you find yourself feeling exhausted at five months i think you need to get the fuck out of there those problems usually do not start occurring until a year into the relationship so it's okay to have mental health issues that doesn't mean that you need to fix him okay and i love you and i think you deserve love and i think you deserve everything that you've ever dreamed of but i think you deserve healthy love and also once again women are not rehabilitation centers for broken men please don't make yourself into one i love you where to look for affordable rings i lost half of mine and my fingers need some deco illy love you so i have some ignore my

nail that popped off yesterday i get my birthday nails on thursday but i have some cool rings i'm a Gemini so of course I have to have one hand silver and one hand gold I did lose a few of my rings um most of them are hand-me-down my great-grandmother was a silversmith and worked with silver and turquoise so I got a lot of really fun cool jewelry from her shout out never gonna meet her but I carry the bad bitch energy with me every day all of my other rings or jewelry or whatever every single time I take a trip and I'll probably be doing this with my trips coming up but I always look for local crystal stores local jewelry stores local metaphysical shops any sort of witchy shops crystal stores I always go there to do my shopping and I'm not buying crystals I'm

buying jewelry because those places always have the best jewelry even locally like look up your local crystal store your local witchy store i guarantee they will have a jewelry section and they'll have pretty premium kind of stones and crystals and really good silver you always want sterling silver um and it's always going to be pretty cheap because they're usually a small local store it's not a big business that's trying to up mark everything um they're just trying to move products and get people in so i bought this ring um last time i was in arkansas like 25 bucks my two middle rings i bought i think in denver colorado they're probably like 50 each um and they last a lifetime gold's a little bit trickier i would say maybe look for gold online especially

like ebay i think that's the best place to find cheap gold um but you always want solid gold not gold plated you want something that's going to last you a lifetime that's the only thing worth your money period for my birthday i think i really want to go get some new rings and go explore and find some cute places cute places to shop and decorate my fingers a little bit more so that's where i found my rings and had the best luck i hope you can find some as well let's smoke though i feel like it's that time of the day trying to navigate smoking this with a microphone in my hand is so difficult but with that being said cheers real canadian superstore has everything you need this back to school season save on lunchbox savers like ziggy's sliced deli meat products

for always 375 and get life brand pure vita shampoo or conditioner for eight dollars each at real canadian superstore when you're ready we're ready with a whole world and more oh it's such a nice beautiful day out i'm recording this on memorial day i think my plans for the day i just record this get outside maybe eat a fucking hot dog i already ate one yesterday but it's the american spirit you know what i mean that's the only way i know how to celebrate is eating 69 cent hot dogs how to keep it spicy in the bedroom love you girl i listen to you while i work period i wish i could listen to a podcast while i work unfortunately i have to listen to the general public okay but so glad i can accompany you while on the job hopefully i

make your day a little bit easier keeping it spicy in the bedroom um act on impulse you know like i woke up this morning half awake my boyfriend acted on impulse immediately just start eating me out shocking but also hey i ain't gonna complain do you know what i mean it really is just like feeling that carnal desire with your partner in tandem okay together and going after it you like don't hold yourself back this isn't a performance this isn't a you know i feel like the whole porn thing has really ruined our people's perception of sex because they think they just put on the world's best performance or they don't deserve love which is insane girl you are not making a video if you are go for it but this is real life you're alone in your bedroom

like it's okay chill it's not a performance you're connecting to desire you're connecting to sensuality and you're connecting to the other person that's how you keep it spicy i mean you can go to the local sex store and get some fun toys you can scroll on adam and eve together while sitting in his lap you know find some fun things to spice it up that way last time me and my boyfriend were on vacation we went to the two places we really are always like yeah fuck it we'll go is sex stores just to check it out also they have the best bikinis for summer like honestly great incredible quality cute patterns pretty cheap um and crystal stores both kind of my ideas but he's just happy to be there but last time we went we got this like strawberry

like nipple cream so when they lick it off it's like strawberry flavored you know like who knows what the fuck you're gonna find that's a fun way to spice it up but i think a lot of the times like when people feel the desire dwindling in the bedroom, it's because you're doing a performance based activity, not a connection based activity. Girl, it's all about connecting. It's all about feeling yourself, feeling the other person, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure. So lean into that. I feel like when my sex drive went down, it was because I started seeing sex and this is my own warped up mind perception not good um but I started seeing it as like a chore as something like I had to do rather than as something that like I got to do and I could have fun doing and

that had nothing to do like with my partner that had everything to do with why I don't know why but for some reason that's how my brain was perceiving it and so I really had to work on how I thought about it and redirecting how I thought about it and interacted with sex so if you feel like your desire is dwindling girl lean into pleasure you deserve pleasure you deserve to feel good and that's what sex is literally all about i feel like this podcast on youtube is definitely going to be taken down i just had sex about 15 fucking times in the span of a minute um but yeah go to a fun store go check it out go find some new things talk to your partner connect with your partner act on impulse lean into desire and connection and pleasure also

you don't have to like jump right into it do you know what i mean like take the whole day to just like kind of foreplay a little bit like build it up so then by the time at the end of the night when you finally have a moment to sit down with each other and spend some quality time together you know what i mean ladies then it's just like you're basically like jumping on each other you know like take the day to like lightly touch and you know tease and haha funny you wish so then it's like fun for both of you and it's like a game and you get to build that up but yeah love you get crazy with it you know oh i've been here a few times how to stop dating losers i slept with this one guy and regret it so much it's okay you're gonna have regrets in life don't overthink it

period the more you overthink your regrets the more they consume you it's okay to overthink to the point where you understand and you forgive and you will never make that mistake again but just constantly overthinking it for the sake of like basically just punishing yourself is not going to make you a better person so like chill on the thinking about it it's okay sometimes all you got to do is just be like yeah i don't know i fucked up i'm sorry everybody makes mistakes that was definitely a mistake noted did not enjoy that did not like that let's not do that again that's all you can really do with mistakes is just be like okay you know it happened whatever now i know better sometimes you have to learn through action all right but to stop dating

losers first of all i think there's two things you really have to do a you have to understand yourself you need to connect yourself before you connect to other people you can learn about yourself in connection to other people which is where I think there are some benefits to dating losers every once in a while because you're like oh no now I know what I don't want and now I know what I do want do you know what I mean but I think without having to go through that experience you can just connect to yourself and really start understanding yourself so then you know what you want you know what you deserve and you don't put yourself in any situations that are beneath you okay so not only holding yourself to standards but also holding other people to standards it's

okay to have standards okay you're not being judgy you're not being mean you know you just know what you want and you go after it i love learning from women okay i love being around women and seeing them interact with the world and being like i see that as a woman noted i liked that behavior i liked the way you handled that and at my new restaurant that i work in i deal with a lot of eastern european women if you don't know anything about eastern european women they are some bad bitches they are some tough bitches they know what they want they ask for it because they know they deserve it and they know they don't deserve anything less period and it doesn't i feel like some people think it comes off in like a rude or demeaning way but as somebody who has

interacted with a lot of eastern european women and comes from a long line of eastern european women i know that it's coming from a place of i just know who i am and i don't settle for less and no shame on you i just know what i want you know like there's no meanness behind it it really is just like a full confident understanding of self and that is so sexy every time i see that I'm like yes ma'am like period I need to be on this wavelength I need to hold myself to these standards I need to hold the people around me to these standards even if I don't know them you know so not only holding yourself to certain standards but also holding other people to certain standards it's okay to have standards also if you're like I don't even know what my standards

are it's okay to go through bad experiences in order to understand your standards like yes i dated losers but guess what now i know what a fucking loser is and i know who to avoid and sometimes especially when you work better through experience you got to go through a couple bad fucking experiences to understand what a good experience is do you know what i mean so like it's okay don't hate on yourself too much don't overthink it it's not going to solve your problems understand what you didn't like understand what you will like and don't settle for less period hi bestie please armpit lightning tips for girls who want to have their arms out i don't know those because i think you should stop hyper focusing on your body so much period

i have stretch marks i'm developing spider veins in my legs shout out to my mom i think that's just a part of our genetics i'm sure my armpits are darker than my body in fact like even like my in between my legs like where they rub is darker than my body i have stretch marks i have scars from life myself anything I have acne scarring I have bacne I have a mustache my ears are probably dirty like you know what I mean like I am going to be not aesthetically attractive because I'm a human and that's okay the more you hyper focus on what you look like the uglier you get that is something i really had to learn i thought like oh well if i hyper focus on my pores and my acne then they'll go away no bitch they got worse because you just don't you stood in the

mirror for two hours picking at yourself because you wanted them to go away chill you know what's in this summer not giving a fuck what you look like and feeling yourself and uplifting yourself and know you're deserving of love and appreciation no matter what you look like okay some of the baddest bitches sure they're not perfectly put together they have this like inner confidence where it's just like they don't give a fuck and not like i don't give a fuck in a gross way like i'm gonna be gross and it's your fault it's like a they're not gross obviously obviously they just they don't give a fuck because they know they're human and they're probably going to be a little unesthetically pleasing every once in a while hello so no i don't have any tips other than

stop staring at yourself so closely allow yourself to be human we're all gonna be a little weird or messy every once in a while and that's okay all right i love you i love you i love you someone said how to just do it wasn't the last title of my episode just do it i think so growing up i grew up like on a big lake in the summers um and one of the activities you do in the middle of the fucking midwest on a lake as you go cliff jumping and doing it a couple times you kind of realize like the same feeling you get from like jumping off a cliff is the same feeling you get sometimes from doing real life experiences and events it's the same kind of heart palpitations and fear but when you're up there on the cliff there's only one way down do you know what i mean

when it comes to choices in real life there feels like there's a million fucking ways but in reality there is only one way down and the only thing you have to do is put one foot in front of the other you don't even need a kickstart you don't need to jump you have to just put one foot in front of the other and trust the same way you cliff jump is the same way you take action in your life sometimes it feels terrifying and you're gonna fall to your death but in fact the universe does have you there is a bed of water below you you're going to be okay you just have to work through the fear and do it anyways one foot in front of the other there's only one way down babe how should i stay motivated about hunting for jobs i haven't even had an interview apply for just like crazy

fucking jobs so the same way you're applying for jobs that you know are kind of like in your range like for me it'd be like server bartender positions social media management positions things like that also like fuck it apply for like crazy positions you never think you would go for or like get but sounds interesting that will keep you kind of like excited about things without getting burnt out because there's always some weird crazy fucking job out there that you can apply for who knows if you'll fucking get it but also like what if you do what if you do it keeps the excitement alive like maybe you go work for a music company and you travel and you do music or what if you go work for like a you move states and you go work for this huge law firm or what

if you go internship at this hospital and do this position and you move and you try something new or you try a new area or try a new field like fuck it just start applying for places that you're like you know what this sounds crazy this sounds interesting I know I'm probably not gonna fucking get it but whatever I'll shoot my shot I think that will keep the job spark alive without making you feel like this is a chore you know what i mean don't hold yourself back the people who get the farthest in life are the people who believe in themselves and put themselves out there even if they don't know if they can do it they will just figure it out so try you know just do it hi i know this is like my second time on here um it's always scary filming these but i'm filming

you know um okay so basically my friend is in this like on and off like really toxic relationship with this girl and um like she will spend all of her time talking to us about it and then she'll be just like like they'll be back together and it's like i've just spent two hours giving you advice you've been like crying on my shoulder like and yeah it's fine that i'm doing all of that but then for her to be going back to her it's just like oh my god like why am i giving you this time so then me and my friend went to her we were like listen like if you're not going to take her advice we love you but like what do you want us to do and she was like i just want you guys to listen which totally understand but i feel like i'm just always listening to her talk about this

and whenever actually being friends i'm just listening to her problems so like what do i do um yeah i love you um thank you if you answer this okay i love you i have been this friend especially my toxic relationships when toxic men take up all of your fucking time sometimes that's all you can really think about and that's all you want to talk about because he's eating your fucking insides and he's eating your brain she she's eating your brain i'm just thinking about my experience so she's in a toxic relationship okay she keeps coming to you and complaining about it okay she says she just wants someone to listen it's okay to be exhausted of listening to it say yeah i know you want someone to listen to you i don't think i can do that anymore to you as

a friend because a you're not being a friend to me because you're not wanting to spend any friend time with me you just want to come to me and complain about your problems bitch get a therapist i don't want to be her unless you're paying me hourly it's okay to get a little harsh with your friends like that also be like i don't want to hear you complain about the same things over and over and over again because i think you deserve better and it breaks my heart when i hear you talk about these things you can also be like i i've been told both those things by friends in the past and it really helped me re-look at how i was talking about things and re-look at my relationships and be like oh shit they're right i am in a really bad relationship let me work on

that internally so i can get out of it um but also when somebody is like i just want to complain to you i don't want advice i don't want you to give me advice i just want to complain sometimes the best thing you can do is really hear them complain but like i said in the beginning if you're fucking over if you're tired of hearing them complain about the same things over and over again you can just be like yeah wow that really sucks you've been talking about that for a year now i can't believe you've been putting up with that for so long oh my god yeah no you've told me about that like 10 times now and that just really sucks that you keep putting up with that you know like agree with her like yeah that shit's awful why are you dealing with that you know what

i mean put it into a perspective where it's like no no you're reiterating their thoughts back to them because i think it helps them like recognize and deal with those thoughts rather than just getting them out they're getting it out and then receiving it back so then they have to kind of process it a little bit more like yeah damn bitch i can't believe you've been putting up with that toxic behavior for two and a half years now i've been hearing about it for so long i thought you would move on by now i thought you knew you deserve better sometimes as a friend you got to give them that tough love you know what i mean what are the vibes in three words please sensual i like that word sexy sensual satisfying that's what i'm going after this summer how to get out

of your head and into your body i think you need to put on like a five minute yoga flow like beginner yoga flow that is a great way that i started connecting with my body i didn't realize i had so much body trauma until i started doing yoga and i felt like uncomfortable moving my body at all and then I was like oh wait that's not normal like I felt uncomfortable connecting with it I feel like I maybe was just like used to being dissociated about my body not healthy thought that was normal but once I started moving my body I realized how unconnected I was to it and I think the best ways to connect to your body are not staring yourself in the mirror or I guess maybe decorating yourself that's a great way but in movement I think that is the ultimate best way

to really connect with yourself and connect with your body um for me that is either dancing okay put on your favorite music dance dance around the mirror dance around in your bedroom it is so fucking satisfying dance around the kitchen while you're cooking um just move your body allow yourself to move your body allow yourself to feel the beat and also if you want a more practical approach um something that's like a little bit more structured um a quick little yoga flow okay a walk in the park working out moving your body in some sort of way that is connection with like a simply moving okay allowing your body to move and be generating like oxytocin so then it like has a positive reciprocal effect um and you start associating

it with positive things so for me personally i love a more structured thing so i do a lot of yoga flow just simple five minute stretch move my muscles move my body but also if you feel a little bit more lively and you want to put yourself out there just dance just have fun just dance just move your body in that sort of way great way for connecting and great way for like positive reciprocative energy regarding your body hot girl hobbies literally whatever makes you passionate i think that's the hottest thing ever let me think about the hobbies of the hot girls I know roller skating I know a lot of baddies who roller skate I could never because I don't want to break my bones and I'm a scaredy cat but like like my boyfriend skates and I know he would love to be

like oh yeah my girly is a roller skating baddie but I'm just not that girl and I had to accept I'm not that girl but I love girls who are that girl do you know what I mean because they're fully themselves they're fully leaning into it that's what makes it a hot girl hobby um knitting i'm like i could never pick up knitting and doing things with my hand that often but like i see bitches out here and they're matching crochet set or like knitting a blanket from scratch and i'm like that's hot that's hot like amazing love it incredible horses okay i see horse girls everywhere and i'm like i'm terrified of horses a little bit i don't really need to be near them that often i mean love an animal would love to pet like hi but not my cup of tea but it's theirs and they're

fully into it and that makes it a hot girl hobby i think it's just something that it's like you know what i'm passionate about this and fuck it i'm just gonna go after it i don't give a fuck what anybody else thinks this is what i'm obsessed with this is what i like fuck it let me do it you know my current faves my current faves are spicy hummus cucumbers fresh coffee in the morning the jesua honey lip oil in that like strawberry sorbet red oh i love a red lip oil long hair denim baby pink obviously french tip nails i just got my toes done with a little slutty french tip and it's just so good toe rings poetry books and bibliographies like stories people have written about themselves and their lives love reading those pink joints weed that a man bought me

and crayons it's an odd list but honestly that's kind of the vibe i'm on right now someone said my boyfriend keeps liking other girls pics when i've brought it up before help well he likes it so you should just start posting it my theory is you know if he starts liking ass pics girl just start posting ass pics i mean that's what he likes why would he have a problem with it i mean let's be real that's how i feel about things i know people get on here and be like oh no it's just a like it's just i just scroll through my page and blindly like things bitch if you're so fucking dumb that you're blindly liking an ass pic when i'm laid up next to you naked every night we obviously have different priorities and you're obviously too

stupid to be with me it's that simple and no i'm not jealous no i'm not controlling no i'm not whatever people want to say about women who have standards for themselves I just don't like that energy and I don't need it anywhere near me do you know what I mean um so yeah no he knows what he's doing if you've asked him before more than once he's gonna keep doing it you're gonna keep feeling bad about yourself I recommend just leaving straight up a lot of people find themselves in relationships and they're like but he's not changing for me he's not doing this thing for me he's not you know and I hate to say it but you either stay in the relationship and you fucking deal with it or you leave and you go after what you deserve

because if I'm being honest people really don't change I mean they will in certain instances or cases they will change but I don't think that's what you should rely on I think that person who is sitting in front of you you need to either fully accept or get the fuck out because a lot of people don't want to change don't need to change don't think you are deserving of change so stop waiting around for it to magically happen I think also a lot of women will be like oh so I just have to sit here and put up with it no no one's telling you to do that if you want to sit there and put up with it that's fine but also if you know what you want and you deserve why the hell are you not going after it sometimes you just got to see a certain behavior and you're

gonna be like i don't want that around me let me get that out of my fucking life do you know what i mean and yeah liking ass pics liking naked pictures of women online any sort of thing like that in my relationship is a no go and i make that very clear i feel like sometimes you know misunderstandings happen because people don't know what other people want or desire because there's a lack of communication so feel free to say what you believe and feel free to say what you need in a relationship and if they can't meet those things you have two options you either stay with what they can give you or you move on to what you deserve and you're like girl an ass pick is not that serious sure some people don't give a fuck and i respect that but for my crazy girls

like me who are insane yeah it's okay to to remove yourself if needed you don't have to stay crazy for a man you can find peace elsewhere i promise you please someone said girl i got a vibrator and came in five minutes period i got my first vibrator uh we're gonna go with 18 and yeah life change life change don't use it too often though because it will de-stimulate you pro tip summer hygiene and skincare tips trying to smell and look edible a i think a good perfume is necessary no matter the time of the year but especially during the summer because with the right kind of perfumes and unfortunately with the more expensive perfumes just with the perfumes that kind of last all day my favorite right now is the glossier you perfume they have like a little

rollerball version that i keep in my um purse at all times so i can just throw it on but the more you sweat the more that perfume starts making itself known so if you're a sweaty girl like i am you know it's hot it's summer put some perfume on that you really enjoy because it'll make you smell good all day um baby wipes this is a tip that i learned from like my festival goings is when you're hot and you're sweaty and you're outside sometimes a baby wipe is really nice for your face for your armpits for your skin for your legs for other places you know i love a baby wipe all right in the summer as well i think a good sunscreen is really necessary i'm still trying to find one that doesn't break me out but i do know the neutrogena makes a really great one

that's like a hundred proof and doesn't make you break out it's like a body spray love that one i just don't need a face one that is good sunscreen is so so so very important um but i think it's okay to ditch the makeup in the summer okay if you find yourself like your eyeliner melting down your face and you're like it's just so hard to keep up that's okay you don't have to wear it you know i feel like my skin especially when i'm hot and i'm sweaty i break out more if i have like a foundation on than if i just don't have anything the sun is also really good for my acne it like dries out my skin a little bit um i feel like i have the best skin of my life in the summer because i don't wear any makeup and i just be in the sun all the time

nasty up in a nasty girl nasty i've had the song stuck in my head for weeks now is somebody gonna match my freak she ate with that song um anyways if you want to know my summer plans i just posted a little reel on instagram basically my summer plans this year are tiny bikinis tan lines fresh fruit shared joints sundresses swimming local parks local wine overall just a good time that is exactly what i'm going for this summer i'll be posting another cooking reel on instagram at hannah marlene um if you want to watch on wednesday uh you guys have really been loving my recipes glad i could teach you guys how to cook and have some fun doing it too so i really only make munchy food on my instagram and honestly i only ever eat good food so if you're wondering it's if it's

yummy yes yes it is someone said random but how does your family feel about your social media work i don't think they care they really don't in fact i think they think it's kind of dumb but also i don't really give a fuck what they think do you know what i mean they don't like shame me or anything like that i'm also like not doing anything crazy on the internet i just have a podcast and i chit chat with you guys and i make fun cute videos and i take fun cute pictures you know i really am just like sharing my life very openly and they are really they're not like that so i think they think it's kind of odd but also i don't really care they're still my family and i love them and they love me but also there's other things about me that they find more interesting

than this you know i feel like this is for the girls and the gays for my friends not my parents i don't need them to listen to this podcast i don't need them to hear me talk about getting my back blown out that is not something that needs to happen and i think they are aware of that i think they're like no we support we love we don't have to interact the number one thing i did to protect my peace on the internet is block people i love blocking people okay my parents and my siblings are the first people i ever blocked not because i don't love them but because i prioritize their peace of mind you know what i mean they're aware of what i do they know i my instagram they know this podcast i think it's just like she's doing her thing i'm

gonna let her do her thing they're too focused on themselves quite frankly and honestly as they should be you know someone said i'm 19 and i'm still a virgin i have zero experience and i feel so behind everyone around me illy by the way um i think i was still a virgin at 19 no not 19 well oh my god i'm so old now here's the thing it's okay take your time okay because i feel like once people lose their virginity they get a little boy crazy so it's okay to have not lost your virginity because you're probably extra focused on yourself which if I'm being honest in your 20s in your early 20s in your late teens you should be completely and utterly focused on yourself not sex and relationships so it is okay to still be a virgin in fact I encourage it

now if you're like oh I just feel behind you know whatever don't rush your process you're gonna push yourself into some situations that maybe are not the best for you so it's okay to hold off a little bit until you feel the most comfortable all right to hold yourself to some standards you're not behind i promise you i was in your shoes okay you will have hot fun kinky sex it will come from experience but take your time getting there okay you do not have to rush the process because any rushed process is just not gonna be good you know and yes I was the last one of my friends to lose their virginity and honestly at the time I thought that was like oh my god I just I wish I would have waited to like fucking 25 like I wish I would have stayed

focused on myself and like maybe had a vibrator you know like sometimes that's all a girl needs in life so don't rush yourself don't push the process it will come to you naturally but allow yourself the time anyways cheers any tips for the limerence girlies who can't get over the their exes a whole year later what the hell is limerence i've been seeing this a lot recently is this a tiktok thing i've been on tiktok at all i've been on reels recently honestly loving reels i fucking hate tiktok shop it completely ruined it okay limerence the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for

reciprocation okay okay so limerence is just you going after a person because you want their appreciation when in reality you can just find that appreciation within yourself and be satisfied you're pining after this person because you think if they accept you then you'll all of a sudden become a whole human it's like the princess kissing the frog you're like oh my god now i'm a person again that's not gonna happen i hate to break it to you i've done this before i've been in limerence before where it's like but but but but they'd their love would fix everything babe no it's not they're just gonna fall in love with you and you're gonna be in the same fucking problems and now you have a person attached to you and you're extra stressed out the dick wasn't

that good that you need to be in limerence i promise you know what i'll put on the patreon this week a cord cutting ceremony i'll show you guys how to do a cord cutting ceremony to spiritually remove these people from you but i think the best things to break limerence is you really need to focus on the physical okay i need you to go get a sugar scrub and scrub your body clean scrub your scalp comb your hair physically washing away this energy scrubbing it out of you okay i need you to go into your bedroom i need you to change your sheets i need you to buy new sheets and put them on i don't care if they're fucking thrifted buy sheets you've never slept in before put them in your bed especially if you've slept with that person in your bed i need

you to change those pillows cases i need you to change the pillows out if it's that fucking bad okay that favorite top you have that you went on 10 dates with them in girl put it in the back of your closet forget about it for a year and then come back to it you need to change up the physical so then the internal is also changing and you're not constantly being reminded that's how you break glimmerance you guys i watched challengers with my boyfriend the other night two best movies i've seen recently salt burn not so recently but loved it and challengers we need more gay movies how come the gay movies are better than the fucking straight movies well obviously obviously but like please i need more weird gay movies they are so good they keep me so enthralled i love it

i love it challengers so fucking good so good great ending when they hugged oh so precious please go watch it if you need a good movie to watch go watch challengers i wish i would have saw in theater but yeah that is really the most interesting movie i've seen in a while that and salt burn honestly i'm ready for a salt burn summer who has a mansion i can come visit hit me up I want to come swim in your pool and run around your gardens let me know hey Hannah I just had to pause your podcast to ask this little question but basically I'm 20 years old I'm a college student and I work part-time but most of my money goes to weed and that's where my issue is I have a somewhat unhealthy relationship with weed pretty dependent on it but I'm definitely a

lot better than i once was but now my new my newfound issue is that i'm spending all my money on weed if i have 20 in my bank account i'm like 16 of those can go to an eighth at the dispensary like any advice how to properly budget my money so i can save money for weed a little fun but also not spend all my money on weed because right now it's not really an issue considering i'm in college but i know when i'm a big girl i have a big girl job it's gonna be a fucking problem any advice would be so much appreciated i love you so much and i think i'm running out of time thank you yeah weed's expensive well it can be expensive if you're one of the dispensary girl look for deals you know shop those discounts you know what i mean it'll all be good it's coming from a dispo but

i think if you're trying to budget but you still want to smoke like your smoking habits are out of control you're just buying premium too often it's like girl get that bag of shake it's okay you know save your money it'll also help your tolerance lower a little bit you might not be like as blasted as you would like but like get a little dab cart on the side and then get a bag of like really cheap weed and save the hundred dollars that you would have spent on the premium and yeah like i love a discount i really only well i don't really buy my own weed but that was not i was not trying to flex there i just i'm so tired and i just sent my boyfriend to do everything for me i think yeah if you find yourself spending too much it's either coming from a smoking too much

so let's cut back how often we do that and also like if you're only buying premium shit like of course it's expensive it's okay you can buy the cheap stuff every once in a while it's not gonna kill you i promise also you're young it's okay this is a learning experience work with yourself you'll get there um but yeah if you're spending too much money let's just reevaluate how and why and where we can cut back someone said i got too drunk at a party and dropped my fave penjamin in the toilet no oh no loki if i was drunk enough i would have picked that shit out of the toilet and dried it off and hit it because i'm insane i've done worse like in my drug fuel days i've definitely like taken my nail and scooped some random white powder off the ground and ate it

not encouraging but like crazy enough for sure illy please talk about what to do if you hate your job but can't quit apply for jobs while on the clock literally while you're on the clock you you can be serving and still applying for jobs girl while you're on the clock and making money on their dime get as many benefits as you can out of it use the coffee machine as many times as you fucking can okay drink as many dr peppers as you want i don't know what kind of benefits you get from your job maybe you have like a fucking breakfast bar because you work for a fortune 500 tech company and you're spoiled girl go have breakfast 10 times do you know what i mean like take advantage of your job as much as you can and while you're on the clock apply for other

jobs that's how you stay sane also talking shit with your co-workers if you have co-workers to talk shit to oh no someone said i slutted too close to the sun and i think i have herpes and also have caught feelings also do you remember last week and i was like oh i have herpes it was a joke it was a joke i want to reiterate how stressed out i was i broke out into hives on my lips that's how stressed out i was i have never experienced that ever in my life but the doctor was like no those are stress hives and for some reason they're just around your mouth they went away very quickly once i was not stressed anymore maybe they're stress hives because you're entertaining too many people you know like maybe you need some time alone after my time alone

my stress hives went away um but once again if you are going to slut it out this summer and my god i encourage you to do so if you want to if you would like to if you don't don't force yourself to do so don't you know all women are different if you want to slut it out please do if you want to be celibate please do but if you are going to be a if you're gonna have a slutty girl summer please my god get tested please get tested in between every partner and in fact i encourage you to bring up that conversation with your next partner because it will their reaction will really determine what kind of partner they're gonna be if you're like oh when's the last time you got tested and they're like oh tested i would never do that it's like ew are you mature enough

to be having sex at all like at least bring it up they're like oh no i just i haven't had time you know i have in the past you know blah blah blah here's the partners i've been with i know they're clean like if they can have a mature conversation about it you can have this puss you know what i mean but if they're gonna be immature about it are they really mature enough to be sleeping with you let's be real are they really going to get you off probably not probably not so go get tested go get yourself a little nice pill get that shit taken care of it's okay i think the older you get the more you realize how common cocaine and like stds are in the adult world you're like oh I thought that was rare no girl you're gonna catch it like the

fucking a cold all right so yeah just stay tested stay protected make sure you're protecting yourself sexually always and it's okay to catch feelings you know I love the crush psychosis where you're like I want to be the best version of myself possible so then I can win them over a little unhealthy but also like there's a lot to be taken from a good fun little relationship you know whether it's a relationship or not you're still having relations with each other so in my opinion that's a relationship you know what i mean just have fun that's what this summer is all about especially gemini season like we're all about fun don't take things too seriously enjoy your fun focus on what you want communicate just keep your life easier and yeah most importantly have fun

someone said my boyfriend has a different humor in parentheses immature than i do so i find myself embarrassed for him girl he's a man what do you expect you know what i mean like he's a man even the smartest like six foot tech bro harvard grad is going to be like haha farts at some point he's a man he's a man sometimes you just have to look at them and go that was fucking stupid and move on or like be like lol and move on you know if it's annoying maybe the clash of humor is gonna get in the way but also he's a man he's gonna make a fart joke or a dick joke every once in a while when men make bad jokes the best thing you can do to get them to stop is to just be like a that was stupid you're not funny that's a little mean but hey we're gonna be mean every once in a while

or b laugh as soon as they see you laugh they're like okay moving on to the next joke you know what i mean uh but yeah men make bad jokes constantly oh my gosh someone said my boyfriend asked me to go on an ayahuasca ceremony with him i told him that it made me anxious and now might not be the best time to experiment with different psychedelics but it makes me just as anxious for him to go without me should i support him through his spiritual exploration even though it makes me uncomfortable love you um i think you just have a control issue i also have a control issue girl i feel you on that um and that's why maybe the ayahuasca ceremony is not great for you because you don't want to feel out of control but also the best thing you can do as a partner is

always just be like yeah you know what i support you as long as you do it safely and you enjoy your time and it's something that you're passionate about like i don't give a fuck you know what i mean like my boyfriend's gonna be out skateboarding for 12 hours today and it's like he just wants to play outside with his friends who what who am i to say no to that who am i to be like oh no i need your location i need to know where you are i need to blah blah blah girl free yourself okay you don't have to control everything around you it's okay for your partner to go off and explore and be themselves in separation from you and in fact i highly encourage it i think my parents relationship is so healthy because they spend 12 hours away from each other bettering themselves and focusing

on themselves and they come together at the end of the night and they share their highlights and their low lights of the day and they just enjoy the time that they do get together i think that's why their relationship is so healthy um so yeah I really in my relationship now it's something I had to work on very early on because I do have BPD and I do have a bad control issue when it comes to like emotions and the people around me and things like that and it's something I actively wanted to work on so I could make my next relationship very healthy the one I'm in now so I think this is a great time for actually this to happen because it'll be a great practice for you and for for you and for them so you guys can have your own individual experiences and grow as

individuals um but yeah i got some i did the patreon podcast last week even though i didn't do a podcast um patreon.com slash smoke says shawty i always do an extra podcast on there if you submit a question on the patreon i always always always answer it every week so if you feel like your question is not answered um here i will get to it there um always like if you're paying money i will answer your question period like i post so many other things but let's be real um but if a few of you guys are asking me about like psychedelics and have i done them and do i have any experience and the answer is yes i have experience in most drugs if i'm being real in fact a lot of them um and my favorites by far i'm not gonna actually i'm not gonna my best

healthiest experiences, let me rephrase, has been with psychedelics. Not acid. Hate acid. Too long. I don't want to be stuck in that fucking thought loop that long. I do not have a fun time on that. I feel too out of control, especially as somebody who has control issues. But one thing that really helped me and helped me rephrase how I think about things and how I approach things is mushrooms i say if it comes from the ground they're fairly healthy for you but i spent like all the pandemic on mushrooms like literally two years constantly doing them i was kind of like a hoodlum so i was just like running around causing chaos and eating a shit ton of mushrooms with my friends in the park um but i think those are the best

experience for me and i think they're the perfect kind of like summertime experience but you do need to be careful too much of anything is not a good thing remember you have to do things in moderation you have to do things in moderation okay you really need to make sure that you're in a controlled safe environment that you're with people you enjoy that you are living a life that you enjoy so then the trip can kind of be a good experience if there's anything you're hiding or not wanting to think about deep down it will be brought to the surface but it will be dealt with correctly in a healthy manner um and i just i had a great time what can i say i probably will be doing them within the next couple weeks um maybe lol in minecraft jokes i don't know what's gonna get me in trouble but

i think if you're gonna do any sort of psychedelics i think you need to be careful it needs to come from a safe place you need to be with safe people and especially with mushrooms be outside if you can i remember like being with my two best friends that i'm going on this girl's trip with and we did have you ever heard of like edward 40 hands or whatever it's called where you take like two tall boys and you tape them to your hands we did that with wine bottles one night and then ate like three grams of mushrooms each and we were just like in my backyard dancing and singing under the lights and like having a good time and just connecting with each other and enjoying the fresh air and enjoying the grass on our feet and realizing maybe things aren't as serious as we

might take them and we deserve a little break from the real world and let's redirect our thoughts in a more positive manner but I think it really shaped who I am and that was a great little time and moment that gave me a lot of clarity and made me a little bit more secure in myself and made me understand myself a little bit more especially as somebody who has a hard time with my emotions and understanding them and working through them I think um that was a positive experience for me even though I felt out of control it like made me feel out of control in a good way the same way like a roller coaster does you know what I mean the same way like an edible trip kind of does where like if you eat too much of edible you're like oof I'm strapping in you just got to ride

the fucking roller coaster mushrooms the same way but please be safe um I've never done ayahuasca I don't think it's something I ever really need to do but I think you guys need to be your own separate people in your relationship and I think you need to uplift that individuality that's how you have the healthiest best relationships but okay hey girl I literally just did the grossest shit listen to this so I was just like smoking do my thing my family just left from being in town for my graduation and I like finally get to relax you know and I literally smoked I hit my bong and literally the bong water like I guess I inhaled too much and the bong water like came open my mouth I was like this is actually the grossest shit I need to scrub my mouth anyways

um I've really been thinking about starting a podcast and I feel like I have I don't know I just like I think I need to do a little more research on it but it's just something I want to do after graduating college I'm like what do I do with my time might as well start a podcast and you've definitely inspired me for that um so I just want to say thank you and I appreciate you i love you adore you me and my cat we love listening to you um but yeah have a good one love you bye i think we all has smokers have definitely hit a bong so hard that we sucked water into our mouths it is the worst experience ever ever ever ever makes me want to quit smoking um usually it's just because your bong's too full you don't want to fill it up that much like if

you're pulling and you get like a little bit of water coming up you start bubbling up you start seeing it bubbling up girl just pour a little bit out anyways I've been there and yeah if you ever want to do something do it that's why I do this podcast I just want to show people that like no matter what I think you should go after it I don't care if you succeed I don't care if you fail I think if you have something that you're passionate about and you want to do the best thing to do is just simply go after it it's going to make you feel more connected to yourself it's going to make you trust in yourself more it's going to make you feel more secure in yourself because you have identified something you're passionate about

and you're not letting other people dictate what you are. Only what you think of yourself dictates you. So yeah, fuck it. If I'm going to teach you one thing on this fucking podcast, it should be go after every single thing you want in your life, period. With that being said, I think that's it for our podcast, you guys. I know I need to get on with my day. I hope you had a wonderful week.

Thank you for giving me a little week off last week. i was able to rest adequately so i could be here with you guys today i hope you had a fun time with this podcast and if you want to see more from me follow me on instagram at hannah marlene i've been posting a lot there just because i realized i've been holding myself back a little bit and i love connecting with you guys i'll be posting another cooking video on wednesday um i posted another reel today if you want to see the patreon only podcast follow the patreon at smokes as shawty um i do patreon uh podcasts there astrology updates manifestation um rituals spells chit chats with me you know fun things like that and yeah if you want to hang out more

come join the patreon club we have so much fun over there but with that being said i love you all so very much stay hot stay sexy i'm gonna go have the best little gemini birthday of my life little gemini birthday weekend and yeah june 1st i'll be turning 25 so we'll do our birthday episode next week but I'm so excited it's gonna be a great weekend it's gonna be a great week stay sexy have fun stay hot do what calls to you follow your passions follow your desires follow your sensuality step into your true self and I'll see you all next Tuesday