Smoke Sesh - living for yourself & getting off the phone

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

hellooo everyone and happy 2026! new year, fresh start, good energy! we have a lot to cover today as we chat what I was up to on new years eve, partying, doing your own thing, focusing on your own fun, small town drama, our SPOTIFY AWARD which I could not have done without you all, how I'm keeping up on my new years resolutions, keeping committed to yourself, dry January, social drinking, staying busy, horseback riding, yoga, painting, being lazy and being tired, how to get over being tired, staying hydrated, getting sleep, staying active, and pushing through the tiredness, saving money, setting goals, paying attention to finances, saving for the future, boyfriend problems, settling in relationships, setting boundaries, compromise, finding a partner, lustful partners, when to leave, going through your partners phone, trust in relationships, making friends, cutting friends off, saving room for being human, disappointing parents, living for yourself, crafting a narrative, positive outlook, positive energy, building confidence and trust in yourself, and much much much more!submit your questions follow the instagram at hannahmarlenejoin the patreon club at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtywatch the vlogs at YouTube.com/hannahmarlene444

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know? Just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out! Let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. hello hello hello hotties of the world and welcome back and happy new year oh my goodness 2026 you better i swear to god you better be good to all of us because i know we all deserve it goodbye 2025 you can have that please stay in the past where you belong but who i am so happy to be

in a new year and honestly so far what are we like the fifth day into the new year but so far so good i've really been on my grind i've been trying to like take care of myself really focus on myself focus on me because hello whose life am i living mine it's okay to focus on yourself a little bit you know what I mean but wow I mean today busy day I woke up this morning bright and early I'm usually not one to wake up super early but I woke up like 7 a.m and I immediately got out to the ranch out to the farm to go do some horseback riding lessons and help out a little bit so that was just like a fantastic start to my morning just to immediately get outside and to immediately just get to work, be in nature, work with animals. I got to ride a new horse today, which was so fun,

just getting to bond with her, Miss Cruella. Yes, I was scared. I was like, her name's what? Okay, please be nice to me. But she was the sweetest little thing ever. So nice to kind of get back into the groove of things. I am doing this now. So thankful to be here with you all. I'm getting sushi with my girlies. And then we're going to go see like a surprise horror movie. are you kidding me what a great Monday well Tuesday and what a great start to the week I really am just looking forward to it and trying to ride the high of New Year's I hope you all had a fantastic New Year's celebration I know I told you guys last week about like my plans and what I was doing and what I was up to and honestly it went really well I mean for me personally it

went really well but the people around me might argue differently listen I was focused on me me me like i said it's okay to get a little selfish sometimes and i was like as long as i'm having fun that's all that matters because my fun is never at the expense of others but if you want to see my hot sexy photos from new year's eve go check them out on instagram at hannah marlene literally i was like i forgot i could eat down like that i forgot i could do my makeup like that i could really like get myself together like that my sexy red bandage dress yes you guys are asking me where I got my fur coat from I usually get my faux fur just I mean anywhere online eBay is fantastic option I mean even Depop thrift stores but the one I was wearing in that photo specifically

is from Princess Polly it's good Princess Polly like clothes are not the best quality but it did what it needed to do for New Year's Eve so shout out to that but we kind of just had like a night out it was really chill I spent like two hours getting ready and focusing on myself focusing on my makeup pampering I was like you know how we go into the new year how you celebrate the new year is kind of like setting the tone like the intentionality of what you do sets the tone for the new year so I was like once again focused on me hello also if I'm talking at the speed of light it's because I'm on dose number four of caffeine this morning like I said it was an early morning but I did my glam I did my hair I got myself ready in the meantime I also filmed a

youtube video like i said i'm sticking to my goals yes we have a baked and baking episode up i told y'all it would be up on sunday and it was the patreon girlies got to see it early as they always do so if you want extra content from me join the patreon but there's a baked and baking vlog up on youtube hannah marlene 444 go watch it go enjoy go get your little snack and eat and yeah we just did some bar hopping it was pretty chill um my boyfriend has a bunch of friends that are just really into the clubs and had some inns for us so we started at a cutesy not really cutesy actually it's a dive bar it's a dive bar love a good dive bar had some drinks there um we were waiting for his friend to wake up out of his edible coma in the back seat of someone's car so that we could

go to the club and the whole thing was he my boyfriend has an older brother his older brother never goes out so my boyfriend was like okay i really want to get him out like i want to get him out of the house he's a single father i want to make sure he gets out has a good time because like when we go out when i go out i'm having a good time i'm dancing i'm enjoying myself yes let's go and first bar we go to his ex pops up and he's like bitch what the fuck not as promising like oh yeah you're gonna have the best time ever and then his ex is like in his face like i miss you what are you doing it's like oh my god we had to escape we had to get the fuck out of there i was literally like okay on to the next and then we went to this like i would say underground

but it's more so above ground in someone's like big loft um we went to this like warehouse to go party dance it up have a good time at downtown kansas city and we turn around we're ordering drinks we're dancing we're having a good time like an hour till the ball drops and she's there she had followed us it was spooky the thing about Kansas City and why I'm like I need to leave and probably the kind of same vibes that most biggish cities have is it feels like everybody knows each other it feels like everybody knows each other no matter where you go you can kind of run into somebody everybody in Kansas City it feels like two people away from each other it's always like a friend of a friend and bam now all of a sudden you know them you know what I mean like it really

is that small of a community so i wasn't shocked that we ran into her the first time but the second time i was like oh my god girl like can you not catch the vibes please like he's just trying to vibe let him be and it was just chaos because then like she's making out with my boyfriend's best friend and my boyfriend's like what the fuck bro like that's my brother's ex like i said it was a hot mess i had no clue any of this was happening other than like seeing her the first and second of time like i said me me me me i'm on the dance floor dancing my heart out boogieing down enjoying my time feet getting cut up by my high ass heels but that's okay living my best life so it's so funny waking up the next morning and my boyfriend's like do you remember telling me that my friend was

making out with her and i was like no i don't but i'm sure blacked out hannah did so like i would trust her and then he asked and it was like yep anyways it was probably if you had drama don't worry about it it was um we were leading up to the cancer full moon which we just had and the moon at that time was in gemini which gemini can be a little chaotic a little impulsive a little wild a little crazy you know how we get and i knew that going into it thus the i'm gonna be focused on me But if you experience some like craziness some wildness or if you were getting the energy of like I need to stay inside today That's probably why overall though fantastic new year's really enjoyed my time And then I really set my attention strong going into that first day of the year

I immediately woke up a little hungover got myself a massive green juice and got my ass to yoga you guys I've been going to yoga. I mean, it's only been a week. Well since I started I really have been getting into it and I've been going at least four or five times a week oh my god it's so so nice to just be like fuck the noise fuck everything I'm putting aside an hour of time for myself and I'm just doing it I'm doing it I'm getting it done I'm going I'm focusing on me I'm stretching out I'm really just taking time to like breathe and focus on my body and leave that to-do list outside the door it's been really nice and i like the intentionality of yoga because it's like we're working out and we're really like moving our bodies stretching

those muscles like elongating every joint we have but also it's focused with intentionality of like care and compassion to your body and your mind so for me i'm like no this is my new therapy this is my new mental health like instead of lexapro i'm just going to yoga if you're on lexapro please stay on it it's good for you trust but like me being unmedicated not the best idea I need to medicate myself with something for a while I was horseback riding still is but it's nice to incorporate something else a new hobby a new activity to kind of spice things up a little bit and not sponsored I mean I love class pass for trying out different classes or for like if you're a beginner and you're afraid to like commit to something class pass is so nice that

you can just kind of oh i'll check out that gym oh let me go try this different workout oh i want to do pilates cool i want to do aerial silks fantastic i want to do a pole dancing class love it let me sign up fuck it let me try it i really enjoy the kind of um openness it offers so that's how i first got into it and if you're looking for an easy way to get into moving your body and working out i highly recommend that just to kind of explore what's in your area i think i'm going to start taking pole classes here soon because I really want to lean into the sensuality and sexuality of myself not that pole inherently is like a sexual thing I know most people think about it it is an art it is almost like dancing and working out in the same same matter and form

which is so impressive but for me personally I think it'll be really good for just like being in my body and allowing myself to like feel myself and just feel a little sexy you know who who can hate that another massive thing to celebrate hold on let me get it baby won her first award you guys we won our first award and yes we not me but we because i could not be here without you guys truly honestly spotify set us award the inner stillness award for 2025 for breaking our record in most streams and for charting i can't remember how many months but for charting nonetheless you guys thank you so much what an incredible year how lucky am i literally i got home from work a day before you know new year's to a massive package i open it up it's a gift from

spotify an award from spotify oh my god it was the perfect way to just wrap up the end of the year because listen i'm never gonna stop doing this podcast truly honestly i don't care about the well i like i care about the awards i feel grateful but it's like i'm not doing it for the recognition i truly am just doing it for the community building aspect but to be recognized and to also have all of our hard work be recognized it's just so beautiful so thank you guys so much i'm gonna have this sitting on my mantle for forever um and hopefully maybe we can win another one next year fingers crossed but truly what a beautiful year together we're going on four years together can you believe and i cannot wait to do this till i die because i can't imagine stopping

honestly but baby's first award four years in the making so happy to be here thank you to spotify thank you to everybody who listens love you all so much what a way to end up the year I know I said I'm on dose four of caffeine, but I'm going to crack this Red Bull too. So cheers to that. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales. Using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.

Anyways, I hope you all had a wonderful, safe, amazing New Year's. If you didn't, don't worry. Hopefully you got all that bad luck out of the way going into the new year. Sometimes a chaotic new year's eve is just like okay let me get the energy the weird the wild the crazy out of the way going into the new year so there's no drama there's no you know unnecessary bad energy bad luck that you carry with you so if you didn't have an amazing new year's eve it's okay you're getting that out of the way we're moving on to bigger and better things and i'm so excited for us 2026 is going to be great i'm very much so looking forward to it i think i'm going into this year a little bit more hopeful intentional excited in general I really am putting my best

foot forward I've started my goals off strong no eating out no refined sugar no alcohol the no alcohol is probably the hardest out of all of those yes I think about Taco Bell every day I think I'm going to learn how to make my own quesadillas just to kind of you know satisfy that craving but the alcohol I've I've been struggling with I have I have and it's not so I'm like home alone like I wish I had a bottle of wine to keep me company like usually I'm too busy it's like if I'm at home I really am not thinking about it it's in social settings when everybody else has it when everybody else is like a little turnt a little you know a little slosh a little fucked up or just like indulging in drinks together I'm like this is hard this is hard

but last dry January I found myself struggling because I was putting myself in social situations not able to drink because I was at a bar in a dry January and then I was like oh well it would just be easier for me to stay at home for me to do nothing you know and so I isolated myself and I mean listen isolation works if you're trying not to drink in a social setting trust but I am trying to learn how to manage while also in a social setting to not isolate away from it and to really face that challenge head on and the first week always a struggle anything new you're getting into first week a struggle second week you're getting into that flow state third week fourth week you really truly forget about it so the first week I was kind of like oh you know I'd

rather isolate I'd rather not be here but let's keep pushing I'm going into the second week I'm feeling a little bit better it'll get easier with time as everything does but so far so good acne kind of non-existent right now that bacne i was talking about last time girl kind of non-existent right now and i could not be more thankful and it has me sitting here scratching my head like two plus two equals four does the alcohol equal acne yes probably girl i also been trying to cut out dairy as much as i can because i feel like that makes me um break out as well i'm really trying to get a hang of it like i said that's one of my big new year's resolutions is to learn more about my body learn how it works and learn about my acne so i'm able to handle it better but low-key

i'm literally a week off alcohol and i'm like oh i i'm not breaking out i'm not breaking out maybe the poison is killing me maybe the poison is not good for me girl hello obviously with that being said though i don't think we have much else to catch up on just chilling hanging out trying to get my vlogs done for you guys every week fingers crossed i stay on that grind but go give it a listen if you'd like or i guess a watch hello um i did a baked and baking we made oreo balls on new year's eve is a fun way to kind of ring in that new year celebration it's on my youtube channel at hannahmarlene444 my vlog channel not my podcast channel also if you want to go on a journey with us all and see extra content from me every single week please join the patreon patreon.com

slash smokes as shoddy we have such a blast over there literally i've been posting non-stop it feels like we had our new year's resolutions i also talked about some like new year's um spells things like that traditions that i do we had a full moon so of course full moon write-up sunday spirit journal prompts different spell work things mood board setting intentions how i do that why i do that you know and most importantly the patreon only podcast if i don't ever get to your question i'm so sorry there's literally so many of them and i'm so thankful to have so many to go through and so many people who listen and are willing to like share their questions um if i don't get to it and you have a dire question that needs answering join the patreon patreon.com

the i get real and raw on the patreon i do not hold back in any sort of way you want to know personal things about me i am not holding back on that patreon podcast so come join i will answer all your questions and we have so much fun it really is a blast over there i can kind of let loose in a way that i can't let loose here so with that being said though i'm gonna try and get through as many questions as i can kind of hit that flow state and hopefully get to everything on your guys's minds someone said i always lack energy in my day-to-day give me tips okay i'm also a chronically tired girl so I have to ask you one thing are you eating enough are you drinking enough water and I'm when I say eating enough I mean like getting enough food to give you energy

and also eating food that gives you energy you know like that chipotle burrito fantastic or not chipotle that taco bell burrito fantastic but also like is it the right food to give you energy probably not you need fruits you need vegetables unfortunately yes you do need carbs yes you do you need protein balance you need to find that balance you also need to stay hydrated i find myself to be actually so exhausted if i do not drink enough water i don't know what it is i think my brain just shrivels up in my head like just like completely dehydrates and then it's like uh my brain's a rock now and i can't think there's no way i can think at all or do math equations if you're in school or something like it's just not happening you know i can't i can't think in that

multi-dimension capacity so stay hydrated eat good food eat enough food that will be fantastic for you another thing are you getting too much or too little sleep if I get anything less than seven hours I'm fucked up I'm fucked up I can persevere through the day but like I'm gonna be not having a good time not good very bad if I get more it's so funny how this works you would think more sleep equals more energy no it makes me so lethargic if i sleep anything more than eight hours i i'm out of it like i'm delirious it's another reason why i can't nap during the day once my brain is on and moving i have to keep it running also the adhd doesn't help my parents are like why do you lay down and take a nap if you're tired bitch what y'all gave me this adhd and you think i can just

lay down and close my eyes no so make sure you're staying balanced sleep wise eight hours eight hours flat make sure you're getting enough sleep but you do not need 10 hours of sleep you really don't your brain does not need that much sleep unless you're kind of like trying to balance it out from the day before it didn't get enough sleep the day before maybe sleep in a little longer the next day i know this is probably not what you want to hear but caffeine i know it's a quick easy fix i can't live without my caffeine i'm sure maybe some of your guys's new year resolutions were like give up caffeine and you know what props to you maybe you are god's strongest soldier maybe you are the strongest of us all and anybody who raw dogs life without caffeine

truly honestly impressive i can't i can't i need to wake up i need a dose of caffeine i need my coffee i need my red bull i need whatever it's gonna take for me to get through the day and you know what if it if you need a little caffeine or you need a little extra boost i'm not gonna blame you i'm really not caffeine shouldn't be the only thing you're drinking once again please drink some water side note you ever sleep with a man or like suck him off and then okay hold on girl chill chill but like have you ever yes i know you have but then like their cum literally tastes like battery acid it's probably because they're only drinking red bulls or monsters please drink enough water your organs will start failing if you don't and also no one's gonna want to suck you off if you're

not drinking enough water not when the crazy thought slips out and i have to start whispering on my own podcast like girl movement is also very important i know you're like bitch i'm tired i don't want to move but i find myself after getting up and moving just a little bit getting a little bit more energy and just like getting my body moving gets me in that kind of like flow state of wanting to get more done and this can look like anything but specifically if you live a very sedentary lifestyle and maybe it's not by choice like maybe you're like bitch i work in an office hello if you're listening to this in an office love i know you're giggling silently at that desk like but like on your lunch break or maybe like every hour get up maybe every two

hours what whatever time you can find once a day okay maybe it's your lunch break get up and go on to walk around your building literally like get up go outside or if it's snowing or whatever bad weather inside just walk around your floor or go up and down all the flights of stairs in your building it will get your body moving that bilateral stimulation will calm your mind soothe your mind it'll also kind of put you in that flow state of okay we're building up that energy we're building up that momentum so we can keep pushing forward this is fantastic after lunch I find when I have lunch and then I go to yoga like on the weekends if I eat and then I don't do anything I'm like oh my god like literally brain shut down but if I eat then I do a little

bit of movement it helps process that food it helps literally turn that food into energy and also it helps me get that momentum going keep the energy flowing and you feel better throughout the day and my last tip for being tired sometimes you just got to push through it sometimes you gotta push through it today not gonna lie a little sleepy a little sleepy a little tired getting up at a time i'm not used to immediately tired getting outside and then getting moving and doing literal farm chores then getting home yeah i'm a little tired i'm a little sleepy extra dose of caffeine eat some good food to give me some more energy keep the ball rolling but sometimes you just gotta push through it you know if i let my brain do whatever it wanted to

do I would be a shell of a human being that's the thing that's the thing it is not your brain controlling you it is kind of you controlling your brain yes your brain helps you think it gives great input it helps you understand things but also the brain can be tricky where it's like that internal battle occurs where you're like I know it's good for me but then I know what my body is telling me and I can't tell the difference of what I need to do sometimes you gotta really fight the tiredness sometimes you got to be like no brain we have things to do we must persevere we must push through have that internal conflict and then just keep it rolling but you don't always have to listen to your brain I find or I kind of realized this the most when I was going through a very negative dark

time where it was like actually I don't have to think those thoughts actually I don't have to tell myself I hate myself all the time wait wait that's an option wait I can do that wait I can control the narrative yes bitch yes you can yeah you can control the narrative as much as you want we actually talked about this on the patreon podcast someone was like how do i stop hating myself like like low-key low-key sometimes it's like that how do i stop hating myself and the t of it all is you control the narrative you do what you think about yourself is who you are what you say about yourself is who you are not anybody else out there so you really have to control that internal narrative of who you're writing yourself out to be we are the creators

of our own world we are the masters of our art of our craft whoever you want to become i highly highly believe you can become but you must have a grip on that fucking pen and pencil and paper and you better be careful about what you write down because I found out especially in like my deep dark moments that it was like oh when I'm telling myself yeah you suck you're horrible you're awful everybody hates you hmm I start to believe it who would have thought who would have thought oh all of a sudden I start to believe it yeah duh because you're telling that to yourself and then you start getting warped perceptions about this about yourself and then that and now you're in a negative spiral it's hard to come out of a negative spiral you can once again control

the narrative as soon as you start thinking those thoughts nope grab that pen switch it to something else actually i am the most beautiful wonderful magnetic person in the world period you don't have to believe it but you will eventually if you control that narrative and control that inner speak you will get to a place where it's like not actually bitch no one can fuck with me no one can touch me I am the best and I want you all to think that about yourself so be careful what you write with that pen be careful what you say about yourself internally externally it really does have a drastic effect on who you are as a person I think I learned that most last year I had a lot of self-doubt last year maybe I was just like I don't know it wasn't like insecurity it was

there was this disconnect from my intuition and myself where I was just like I don't really know I don't feel like whole as a person and I realized the more I told myself that like oh my god something's wrong oh my god like I can't trust myself I can't trust my intuition I don't know what's real I don't know what's fake whatever it is it wasn't that deep but it was deep enough that I had that distrust in myself the more I told myself that the worse it got duh hello so instead this year we're controlling that narrative we are upping that self-confidence and we are going into this world a better person hopefully fingers crossed but yeah girl i feel you on the tiredness especially with this cold weather with this like winter blues going on it's hard to kind of build

up that energy so if you don't have it don't hate yourself you know the little habits along the way will really help eating healthy drinking water taking care of yourself taking care of your body staying active staying moving getting enough sleep taking care of your brain but also sometimes you just gotta chug a red bull and push through it girl if i gave into my laziness and my lack of energy every day i would do nothing and that's just the god honest truth tips for saving money i'm a shopaholic love the pod love you okay so um i've been on my finance grind i have which is very new for me um low-key last year I was spending money I was spending so much money and on things that it's like bitch where is it where's the money going how much money did you

spend where did it go oh my freaking god I my frontal lobe developed and I'm like actually I don't need that purse I'd rather max out my Roth IRA like girl who are you I never thought those words would be coming out of my mouth truly and honestly but this year I was like okay we need to pay attention to your finances nothing will shock you more than checking your bank account every day yeah yeah if you're not checking your bank account every single day and looking at what is coming in and what's going out and where you're spending money and the areas in which you're spending money if you don't have like a god honest sit down coming to god moment with yourself and your finances you will never learn how to be like financially literate

being aware is step number one i mean to any problem you have getting being aware of it is going to be step number one so check your bank account every single day yeah that'll scare you that'll scare you'll be like i spent what yesterday at 2 a.m girl that is a sobering moment you're like holy shit i need to control myself um i i'm not gonna give any like finance tips and nothing is ever sponsored here duh hello but like what i use is what i'm gonna recommend what you use is up to you but personally i've been using rocket money recently i know i've talked about other finance apps but rocket money is what's really stuck with me the most or really helped me kind of categorize things in my brain and you can create like areas in which you're spending

you're like okay so i've spent this on bills okay so i see my income that's good i spent this on clothes okay we gotta drop that budget a little down a little it helps you create budgets it helps you stick to it helps you be aware of what you're spending on and then it also has this area of like um categorizing transactions where you can almost like tinder you know you're swiping right you're swiping left you swipe right on all of your transactions to send them into the right category so it forces you to go through what you're spending money on anyways every single day it shows you where you have unnecessary subscriptions it's fantastic it's a really great way to kind of like chunk down the way you think about money and focus on how you're spending

i guarantee if you really think about what you're spending and you look back on the past months and see how much you spent you will stop spending money that's just how it is you'll be like is that 14 oh my god 15 20 chipotle burrito worth it hell no bitch i'm not doing that like i don't need to be spending that much money on what you know like or a bag or clothes or that new furniture piece or that random thing that you decided you need and it'll change your life but actually it won't it's really helped me bring down my spending when i was you know monkey covering eyes emoji like not paying attention it was bad my spending was out of control because it was like oh what happens in my bank account happens in my bank account that's none of my business girl it is

all your business it is actually all your business setting long-term goals will also help you save money one of my long-term goals was or is moving i want to move whether it's like a house a new apartment a new place a new state california hopefully fingers crossed like i want to move fantastic now i have a big goal when i'm setting money aside to my savings i have a reason for doing so instead of being like this is just random money here for no reason last year it was japan i don't know why i didn't really focus on that as much as i should have but it did help me save a little bit of money in the long run i spent a lot of money being like i need this for japan no bitch you're just gonna buy it there but set long-term goals so you have reasons to save whether it's i

want to move out of my parents house i want to save up this big thing i really want i want to buy a new car i want to have rainy day money like just in case something happens i don't have that i don't have a savings account okay let's build that up but set that long-term goal so you have a reason to not spend that twenty dollars at chipotle you know where it's going you know that its intention is good and thus you feel more willing to act on it another thing is listen i love my sweet treats and i i don't mean sweet treat in a real sense like i'm not into cupcakes or anything but like i love shopping i do i'm just a material girl like i can't help it i do i love to look cute i love to look stylish i love to look fashionable i love to feel myself i love

getting a delivery and popping that bad boy open but that can't be happening at the rate that it was so i have limited myself and i'll probably limit myself more but we're starting here to one item a week and you're like wow that's a lot or maybe that's not a lot to you i don't know to me that's not a lot and i mean one item like one thing that i want whether it's like oh this coat i really want or this furniture piece i really want they're not like big ticket items nothing over a hundred dollars but it's still like you need to cut back and limit yourself one thing a week that's it oh you want those books congratulations that's your one thing now you have to wait a week it makes you more intentional with money it makes you more thankful

for the items that you do get so they're not just rotting in your closet it makes you think about the items you're buying is it worth my little token for the week oh it's not let me wait fantastic it just makes you more intentional it's a great way to kind of cut back on spending um and also i'm not buying anything unless i've looked at it for over a month i know i know we get caught up in the trends too quickly sometimes and i mean listen i love seeing something online and buying it immediately maybe that'll be my token at one point in time but i'm really trying to think about things do i actually want that do i need it is it worth my token for the week also like how long have i been thinking about it same way i think about tattoos where

it's like do i really want that have i been thinking about it doesn't really make sense for me okay yes then i'll go get it if it doesn't then it's like whatever i really don't need that thing my brothers really got me in a frugal era he is the most frugal person i've ever met in my entire life i don't know why i don't know why maybe it's because he makes all the money so he's having to really focus on where it goes he doesn't make all the money let me be real i don't mean to talk down on my sister-in-law she's amazing and wonderful and like period but like i don't know whatever clicked in his brain is now clicking in my brain as a semi-adult and i'm like oh my god savings account retirement fund moving across the country like girl we have things to do you do not need

that and that's just kind of how you get to when you're younger if your brain's not fully formed it's okay you'll get there eventually trust implementing little things at a time will help you kind of be aware but the number one thing i can recommend recommend is paying attention to your bank account opening that shit up every single day yes look at every single charge oh you don't know that charge you don't know where it came from maybe you need to dispute it maybe you need to track it down maybe it's a subscription you didn't know you can't you didn't cancel you know pay attention i'm begging you it's the best thing to do for yourself i'm hoping to bring back call-ins eventually so stay tuned if you want to submit a call-in i get questions i haven't done

call-ins for a while because i used to do call-ins spotify had a way for you to just submit directly through the app which was amazing please spotify if you're listening bring that back because it made just everything so streamlined for me personally um but they got rid of it so to adjust um if you want to submit a call in all you have to do and i'm not even kidding is get on instagram find me hannah marlene go to my dms dm me a voice no it's that simple it really is that simple and i think it lets you record up to what like five minutes you can ramble if you need i don't care girl but like get in there send me a voice note it's the best way to extract audio and for me to be able to receive those messages so please calling all call-ins i want to hear from you

i want to hear your hot sexy voice i want to hear what's on your mind please submit those i'm begging at hannah marlene you know where to find me let's get into your guys's favorite questions boyfriend problems at what point am i setting my standards too high i can't find someone that pleases me both physically and mentally it's like i have to settle for only getting one good thing for example i was talking to talking to a guy from september to now and i genuinely love his communication and emotional maturity but he isn't chivalrous and never makes any grand gestures for me it was a deal breaker and i feel like i'm getting uh setting myself for failure having too many standards help well let's be honest i know i'm up here like standard standard standard standards

you need your standards absolutely but there is such thing as too many standards i will i'll be honest with you guys there is such thing as too many standards and sometimes you'd be closing doors in front of you that are actually opening up to heaven you know what i mean in relationships naturally and i'm gonna be real with y'all you're gonna have to settle a little bit that doesn't mean you know you date a man who hates you or a man who you have to close your eyes or only do doggy style with because you can't look at his face when you're having sex or the sex sucks or oh my god he's broke and eating everything out of my fridge or oh my god he curses me out or does like like that please that's that's not what that's that is settling but do not that's not

the settling i'm talking about that's not the settling i'm talking about at all the settling i'm talking about is oh maybe he doesn't make grand gestures for me but everything else checks off the boxes okay great love it maybe that's just not his love language maybe you've incompatible love languages but he's willing to learn okay so you settle for a second you you work with each other you work to get there oh maybe he you know is really bad at doing dishes but he's fantastic to get doing laundry okay so maybe you settle there you do the dishes he does the laundry that's like you know what dairy are you that's not even settling that's called compromise sometimes in relationships you're gonna have to compromise to make them work not everybody's gonna be a perfect

amazing angel trust i dating me it's like welcome to the hannah show like enjoy your time here hello I understand there's things you're gonna have to compromise oh you want an inside girlfriend I'm not her motherfucker like compromise on that if that's what you're wanting but like you're gonna have to you know make little adjustments here and there that doesn't mean I don't think you should set your standards high I think you should always want the best for yourself you should want that prince charming on horseback oh fine as fuck you know like you should want that you should want a person who's good for you who meshes well with you who takes care of you who shows up for you who wants you who sees you who enjoys you but that is going to also involve

compromise here and there oh he doesn't like sushi but you do okay maybe you're just not going to get sushi with him ever but that means you can with your girlfriend you know it's like little things as long as it's little things it's like whatever whatever put yourself aside for a little bit you know relationships are built on trust compassion and working together if you can work together on an issue or a problem or something that you're like i'm not sure about it can work out but if it's big settling girl run for the hills i'm talking massive settling like this man is a loser compared to me you gotta go you really do it's just it's not gonna work i'm sorry standards are good i want you to have standards for yourself i want you to have

boundaries for yourself i want you to know what you want that's the biggest power move when it comes to dating is being like nope i have a list and bitch you better check that list and check it fucking twice you know like it's good you have those things for yourself so you're not just like ooh first man who comes along and shows any interest he can have it all no like make him work for it make him fight for it if if he checks those boxes fantastic he might not check all of them but if he checks like 90 of them great you can work on the rest but if he doesn't check any or less than 70 it ain't gonna work it isn't that's that's settling there's a fine line ask yourself what you want what you need what's good for you and truly honestly only you know that and

only you can stand by that so i'm not gonna blame you for doing anything else uh speaking of boyfriend liked thirst traps and dm'd some of them how beautiful they are with tongue out emoji fire emoji heart eyes smirk smiley face oh hell nah hell no i don't fuck with that you know i don't you know i don't fuck with that that is called in my opinion micro cheating and micro turns into macro so keep that in mind I believe the most untrustworthy men and the worst men to even possibly be in a relationship with are the ones who are lustful lustfulness equals untrustworthiness and the number one thing you need to build your relationship on every relationship on is trust if there is not trust there is not anything everybody has different boundaries

so if you saw that dm and you were like oh whatever i don't care that's on you that's cool fantastic you have boundaries that obviously i don't or i have boundaries obviously you don't have every relationship is different everybody sees cheating differently me personally personally i would have seen that i would have packed a shit i would have literally thrown it over my balcony like oh you want that you can have it you can have it but you can't have both i hate a lustful man a lustful man is an untrustworthy man a lustful man is someone who will sneak around who will hide things who will be like a snake in the grass and you don't want that in a partner how was how's he gonna take care of you how's he gonna show up for you how can you trust that he's

going to be the only person in your life where you're going to be the only person in his that's not something i'm fucking around with first sign of that i think you gotta go i'm not even kidding like that's for me personally a massive deal breaker it ain't gonna work it really isn't if that is your boy friend and he's doing that it's gonna get worse it's gonna get worse and also if he says he's not gonna do it anymore it's still gonna happen it really is so ask yourself do i want to keep finding these dms in my boyfriend's phone or do i maybe just want a boyfriend who doesn't do that if you want a boyfriend who doesn't do that congratulations you will find him but it's not in the one you currently have oop and that's just the truth of

it all it really is also can we talk about checking phones if you're gonna check your partner's phone you better be prepared to leave i know you checked that and you were not prepared to leave you should have been prepared to pack your bags and go rule number one if you're going to check that phone you got to be prepared to dip as fast as possible and i'm not pro going through you know what let's go on this tangent i'm not pro going through your partner's phone i don't like that i think it's an invasion of privacy i think truly if you want to be like oh let's challenge him actually i'm worried let me let me sit down in front of him ask him ask to see his phone you know what can i see your phone real quick unlock that shit for me right in front of

you the reaction you get is the exact answer you're looking for doing it in secret breaking that trust breaking that privacy not good it's just you're not gonna leave you're not gonna get that kind of interaction you're looking for you're not gonna get the answers you're looking for the answers you're looking for are gonna come face to face when you ask that man for his phone in front of you and also dare i say if you have to ask for the phone it's not good not good one thing i'm thankful for in this partnership currently especially with a scorpio at least a semi healed scorpio is those motherfuckers they're loyal shout out i mean from what i can tell they're they're loyal thoughts on cutting off friendships better to solve it slash cut people slack or let

them go two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca talk about this on the patreon pod i'm out of the era of cutting people off i really am i think that was such a it was like a very young-minded idea of it's all about me or it's about nothing when it comes to people in your life and friendships there's a lot of nuance there i understand there's some friends i can go to to vent

and there's some friends I can't I understand if I'm in trouble there's some friends I can call and there's some friends I can't I understand if there's certain conversations or certain things I want to do or certain this or certain that there's some friends I can reach out to and there's not and they're not always in the same categories everybody offers things differently I know my boundaries I know I offer different things to different friends I understand maybe I'm not always the person somebody can call on immediately and have them come over because bitch I'm busy but that doesn't mean I'm not a good friend you know like sometimes you have the party friends and you know when you want to go party to hit them up sometimes you have the movie friends when you

want to go see a movie you hit them up sometimes you have the friends that it's like oh I only see you once a year and you know we've grown apart a little bit but I still want to see you so once a year I'm going to make that time for you there's nuance to relationships that I think people really forget about and I think it's the tiktokification of our brain the all or nothing black or white thinking that people have really given into it's like no with life there's a rainbow there's a gradient there's a gray scale there where people sit and line up and you have to offer humans that grace because we're not fucking robots we're not programmed you know you're gonna mess up you're gonna make mistakes you're not gonna be perfect it is what it is who cares when you offer people

that space in that area to grow the better your friendships and the better your relationships will get if you have to cut somebody off it should be because they have broken every bond of what friendship is friendship is trust compassion kindness caring if they are not somebody that offers any of those things then yes I understand cutting them off because like why would you want someone who's evil around you like you don't owe any niceties to them but if it's like oh I just only party with them that doesn't mean you have to cut them off you know the nuance of it all the grayscale of it all some people in your life for certain things certain times certain areas it is what it is that doesn't mean you have to like hold yourself back or not open yourself up to people

or not allow people to get close to you just because they don't offer the world to you, you know? And honestly, when I think about it, I think I used to think I don't have a lot of friends. But in reality, I have so many friends. It's just like they're all in different areas of my life. You know, they're all in different kind of aspects or different things that I'm interested in i have my horseback riding friends like i said i have my party friends i have my work friends i have my um childhood friends i have my college friends i have my restaurant like it literally is so like vast and so broad but if i were to cut every single one of them off because oh they don't offer me everything as a human being i would be alone i would be alone i would be alone in this

life and i'd be very fucking lonely and also it's hard to make friends when you're like oh well this person doesn't act a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p like duh they're not gonna do that but like if they're a good person they're kind they reach out they reciprocate then why would you not want them in your life you know they don't have to offer you the world but do they offer you time and compassion and kindness then that's all that matters honestly i have cut friends off too so I very much so know the difference and the only friends I have cut off are either ones that it's like you make bad choices and put me at risk and so being around you is a risk to myself my mental health my physical health whatever it may be or you did something to me that I know in

my brain I will never be able to forget and I can forgive you but I won't forget it and thus I feel I can't open myself up to you again and to me that feels like a waste of time and energy it really is like you gotta do the worst of the worst or make me realize you're just not a person I want to ever be around for me to actually cut you off genuinely it's like I'm a very I'm a Gemini you guys know me I can see every perspective every point of view does that mean every point of view is right no but it's like I get you we're all human it is what it is I am aware you know maybe i'll distance myself or maybe i know you're only for this i'll read off your personality menu and know i can only ask for a b c d i'm not gonna ask for anything off the menu you know i i'm

compassionate i'm kind i'm understanding but the only time i ever cut people off is if it's like you're evil or you've done something evil to me in that case i don't give a fuck i'd also like to argue you don't have to be friends with everybody but you should be friendly with everybody if you're friendly with everybody it offers you up to make more friends it offers you up to make better connections and someone asked it was like what should i do about having so many meaningless connections in truth and all honesty every really solid good friend that i've made that's last for years i'm not even kidding i'm about to go hang out with some girls and it's like our moms had our baby showers together that's how close we are we met in middle school

and we're two completely different people but it's like we owe each other that kind of like compassion to each other that we're gonna stay in each other's lives for the rest of our lives those relationships started off mediocre they started off boring they started off by what's your favorite color i guess or like where are you from that's how relationships start that's how friendships start they start off mediocre they start off like let's learn how to talk again you know and dare i say in 2026 to make friends we need to bring back the playground effect you remember being a child on the playground and it's like i don't i don't even know your name motherfucker i just know i love that those fucking monkey bars and i love swinging on those monkey

bars and you're swinging on those monkey bars and i want to do it with you i don't care about anything else i'm just gonna get those monkey bars and we're gonna play together and it's gonna be a little mediocre we're gonna go what's your favorite color we're gonna go where are you from we're gonna go who's your mom and dad you know what's your favorite subject and from there on it gets deeper from there on you're able to like oh look forward to every single day but you have to engage in the mediocre to get somewhere deeper oh you hate having mediocre conversations well you'll never get into the deep end because not everybody is going to immediately meet you and then bring up their childhood trauma and dare i argue not everybody should but you got to get into the

mediocre to get a little deeper there's layers to the onion babe you got to get past the first layer and that is the mediocre layer you'll get to know each other but in 2026 if you want to make friends you got to engage in play we got to get back on the playground the metaphorical playground of life go swing on those fucking monkey bars what do you like to do on the playground are you like the slide go find people who enjoy the slide open yourself up what's your name or even not learning their name hey you hey can we hang out let's be a little annoying to each other let's you know put ourselves out there openly fully let's be so compassionate and kind just like children are let's not see each other any differently or judge each other let's just

like show up and play and have a good time and if we mesh we mesh and if we don't who cares i love that idea i love that aspect hanging out with my niece and nephew and seeing them interact with other children is so interesting because it's like bam immediate connection because they both know they're new at something they both know they're open to life and they have that joy and compassion within themselves and they just want to have a good time they're committed to the good time of it all and they always have that i'll tell you what so if you don't know how to make friends get out on that playground open your heart up a little bit indulge in the mediocrity you'd be surprised how deep it can get and the long lasting friendships you truly can make how do i de-center

my parents living my best life yet get stuck on pleasing them can i make a confession i'm not even kidding the other night i don't know it was before new year's but i was having a night i don't know what it was and i sat down and i go i'm gonna take a fucking dab i haven't taken a dab in a long time in a long time i mean i ripped the dab pen a little bit i mostly just smoke flour at this point in time or eat a little gummy or like a little thc bev which is really getting me through dry january you know what i know what's helping me in dry january nowadays love them down and also ghia g-h-i-a it's more herbally like a tincture but fantastic with some sparkling water i love just like a fun silly beverage um but i was like i'm gonna take a fucking dab you know let's do it

i'm feeling dirty and grimy not that those who take dabs are dirty and grimy but like i was feeling like crazy i don't know what it was so i did i ripped that shit and then all of a sudden i'm googling like why doesn't my mom like me why doesn't my mom like me like she does hello but it's like we really as children are conditioned and not in a bad way like it's just who we are as humans to want the approval of our parents you know you if you've ever taken like a general basic psychology class you know of the um what is it the experiment where it's like which is kind of fucked up if you really think about it psychology be doing the most fucked up things ever it's like we did not need to do that experiment at all but they sat like the child

down in front of their mom and the mom was like making fun silly faces the kid was making fun silly faces back it's like you want that connection and then the mom sat down and was not engaging at all stoned face like not engaging with the child kind of like angry face and the the kid really has this bidding for connection like mom mom interact with me interact with me it's like we we want that as children we are born with that innate need to interact with our parents to connect with our parents to have that connection like hello they birth us into this world we are literally half of them of course we're going to want that and desire that so if you do there's nothing wrong with you that's just being human so please understand that like the desire for

connection the desire for bonding the desire for love is very human of us and it's it's beautiful it is i'm glad the world hasn't killed that out of you now dare i say being an adult is learning how to kind of disassociate from that because you're learning how to be your own person instead of like little ducklings following behind your mom falling behind your dad you now are open to the world without them and although they are there you have to interact in your own way with the world you have to figure out how you want to interact with it what calls to you what do you enjoy how do you enjoy it what do you look forward to and the only way to do that is to give up the idea of impressing your parents it is it is I finally started living life once I started choosing

things for myself I spent a lot of time choosing things for my parents and it wasn't because they like forced me into that position it was just like the whole i'm a kid and i want to impress them duh obviously oh yes i'll go to nursing school oh yes i'll give up my compassion for art and my passion for it because i want to make money yes i'll sell my soul to it and guess what sell my soul i did suffer i did and i realized oh my god i put myself into this position for what for what for me to hate myself like they like me but i hate me so what's the fucking point like it's not worth it it really is not worth it the number one relationship you need to mend within yourself and really elevate within yourself is the relationship with yourself if you have a really

good foundation talk about one year foundation year if you want a good life you must have a strong foundation within yourself of that trust of that intuition of that belief and to get there it's trial and error babe it really is it's living for yourself oh do i like this do i not like this let me try this let me put myself out there let me reach out to this person let me do this thing and you have to do it without any thought of what your parents might think of you if you live for other people you will be a shell of a human being it's just a matter of fact you will you will never be happy you will never feel successful even if you are you will never feel like satisfied even if you're doing everything right trust i put my pussy into nursing school i got into an incredible

college i got into an advanced nursing program first trial i passed that motherfucking drug test hello I got there I didn't do good the first semester but I eventually worked my way back up got on the dean's list like A's in every goddamn fucking class I worked my ass off and you know what I got home my parents were like we are so proud of you but the feeling I had within myself was not worth it because I hated every second of it if you do not live for yourself if you do not live with compassion for yourself if you not live with making choices for yourself girl this life is not gonna be a good one and i fear we only get one fucking life so be brave and also like be brave enough to disappoint your parents a little bit once i disappointed my parents i was like oh freedom

oh i broke that people pleasing in me oh i did the big thing i didn't want to do i didn't want to disappoint them so so so so so bad i became of a shell of a human being and now it's my only choice but to disappoint them okay let me rip the band-aid off i felt like i sprouted angel wings out of my back truly it really did feel like that and then i got braver and then i made this decision and then i started choosing myself and then i this and then that and then all of a sudden i'm here and i think we also do this not only with um our parents but also like the invisible audience everybody i don't know maybe i'm fucking crazy but i feel like everybody has this invisible audience and no I don't mean so in a way like I post online of course there's an invisible audience

no I think everybody no matter who you are has this invisible audience I get this question a lot when it's like I want to do things but I'm afraid what people will think I get that once again very human very normal very you know real of us to kind of be in that headspace to be in that mindset of wanting to like not perform but be our best selves but who are we but our best selves when we're doing what we want and we're doing what we feel called to not what other people want us to do but what we feel is intentional and right for ourselves you know that is truly our best selves so why would we not indulge in that oh a fear of everybody hating of us oh in fear of somebody being like she's not cool like she thinks she is oh she's this oh she's that who gives a

fuck people are gonna talk shit whether you're doing the right thing or the wrong thing people are gonna talk shit because they're evil spirited and angry for some reason but like that's not my fucking problem to solve like you are not paying me so i'm not solving that fucking problem you know please get a therapist solve that issue within yourself but i'm not going to deal with it because that's a you problem and not a me problem i remember i made this tiktok video it blew up which i it's so funny it's like i think we need to live by it a little bit more it's like why would i care what people say about me when most people are dumb and wrong anyways like there is truth to that honestly and once you kind of once again stop people pleasing stop

performing for that invisible audience stop giving into what other people want from me and not what you need for yourself life gets so much easier believe it or not you're like actually that sounds horrible and awful nope wait till you start doing it you're like wow this is cathartic i feel like i'm doing molly oh living my life for myself feels like i'm dosing myself with molly yeah who would have thought truly there's nothing more invigorating and powerful and just like energizing than being like this is my fucking life fuck the noise i'm gonna do whatever i want healthily good in good in good spirit okay we're talking positively here i'm gonna go after what i want i'm gonna go do that thing i'm gonna travel that country i'm gonna go here i'm gonna do this

and i don't care what people say i i know what i need and i know what i want to do and i'm gonna do it no matter what there's nothing better than that that feeling within yourself oh it's so nice it really is most recent experience i've had of that is um horseback riding lessons and then it'll probably be moving to california that'll be a hard band-aid trip off i know my mom's gonna cry but that's okay it is what it is as a mom i'll probably go through the same exact thing and that's the beauty of being able to be a mom but that's not my problem to deal with my problem is what do i want what do i desire and how do i go about it that's the only problem you should really ever be focused on oh my god you guys my fucking asshole hurts i'm not even kidding i don't know these yoga

positions that she was put me in yesterday i was so sore my shoulders are sore my neck is sore my butt is sore my legs are sore and then i got on horseback today and i was like oh she's like we're gonna do posting i'm like okay standing in stirrups babe my legs my legs are not working my hips are not working my poor boyfriend he's like why haven't we had sex in a while he doesn't say that out loud ever but like i can see it in his eyes and i'm like i can't bounce on it right now babe i'm so sorry like my legs are physically not able to move so sorry about that if you want a piece you're gonna have to take it how to get off my phone ah okay you know what girl get busy i am a chronic phone user i'm not even kidding i like i got a new phone and so with my old phone

I was like what's my what was my screen time on my old phone and like how can I like turn that shit down how can I not do whatever I was doing my screen time was like sometimes eight plus hours like that is scary that's scary to be fair most of that night or like in the afternoons or like in the morning or any time I even had a moment or opportunity to open my phone but like i was like oh girl that's spooky tiktok is eating your brain alive it's like a parasite in your brain a monkey clashing symbols together in your brain like wake up wake up wake up so i said no more of that with this phone no more of that you think i put parental controls on my phone no i know there's apps you can do where it'll like lock your apps after you use it

for a certain amount of time that's a great option if you have no self-control but you would be honest you want to know what the real answer is bitch get busy get busy you're like oh I'm so busy obviously not if you're spending that much time on your phone you know what I mean like I'm not even kidding this entire year I say as it's been five days I've had zero time to be on the phone quite literally zero time I've been posting and saying consistent but it's like I only have time to get on and post and then get off I'm like okay wake up in the morning immediately not getting on the phone getting my chores done having music in the background I've really been leaning into music and podcasts so I have something going on to stimulate my brain but I'm not just sitting

down consuming consuming consuming reading 10 pages at night every night before I allow myself to get on my phone and doom scroll those 10 pages usually turn into a hundred and then 500 and then the book is done you see what i'm talking about here oh i have like four hours to myself in the afternoon hmm should i doom scroll or maybe let me think about it let me go take a workout class let me go to the gym okay who cares if i'm on the phone if i'm on the stair master you know what i get busy we need to take the phone time and replace it with hobby time i think we kind of got the two things mixed up a little bit during covid when we were like super super super online which was okay what else did we have to fucking do honestly but like bring back making bread

remember the fluffy coffee or whatever it was it was like yes you can get that board that you then start indulging in random hobbies again it's okay bring back hobbies this 2026 bitch oh you have nothing to do find something i remember when i was younger with no phone believe it or not there was a time when there was no goddamn fucking phone yes believe it or not it was like nine i'm like painting my walls i'm i went outside to my dad in the garage and i was like i'm bored i'm bored i don't want to do he's like well obviously you're not bored enough because you're not finding something oop he read me to filth with that one at the time i was like he doesn't know what he's talking about yes he does i fear i fear he was right you're not bored enough if you're not

finding something to do make yourself bored get yourself something to do babe oh you want to be that girl who goes to yoga start taking classes you want to be that pole dancer go start pole dancing bitch go take a class oh you want to paint get out the the paint and paint brush oh you want to knit start knitting like you gotta put the phone down and start living life it will make you have way more fun and then once you get the hang of it like once you actually start implementing into your life more naturally you'll put the phone down at first like when i first started getting into all my hobbies and my yoga like painting horseback riding yoga work this that hanging with friends balancing all of it it was like oh my god i miss my phone time like it was

like i'm weaning myself off of a binky almost like a child a small child with a fucked up mouth palate because i've been sucking on that binky like no other trust i know i had a binky till i was three my parents literally had to cut off little bits of the plastic until i could not put it in my mouth anymore we have to do that to ourselves as well with the phone start implementing hobbies it's not gonna be easy you're gonna be like i'd rather scroll than be in yoga there was times where i'm like scrolling in my phone until the last minute and then i'm like okay fuck fine i'll go into yoga and then i walk out i'm like oh i'm feeling great i'm feeling better now now it's natural now i feel like i'm more in a flow state okay i can't achieve this thing i can't do this

thing i want to put the phone on actually i don't want to be on the phone it takes time it takes indulging in your true passions it takes staying committed to yourself but bitch what else are we supposed to do with this life oh i don't want to be committed to myself okay that's a choice there's many choices in this life you can make all the choices you want for yourself i can only sit up here with this microphone and tell you what to do so many times you have to do it yourself no one's coming to save you no one's coming to make these decisions for you other than you bitch so you better get to work you better you better there's no more time there's no more time left i've got to this point in my life literally i'm like i'm about to turn 27 in june girl about to

you got half a year i'm gonna turn 27 my frontal lobe is developed like i'm doing the work on myself i'm tired of sitting around and doing nothing and scrolling and not living my life bitch there is no more goddamn time get up get to work like quite literally i'm like no no no no no more avoidance no more oh i don't wanna no more i don't want to put the work in on myself nope no more excuses no more avoidance bitch get the fuck up get to work and that's where i am and you know what i feel so much better for it i feel so much more confident myself i feel stronger i feel healthier i feel hot i feel sexy and that's what happens when you get off that goddamn phone i know i know sometimes the truth hurts babe sorry i gotta be the one to deliver it please don't hate

me. Someone asked, how do I tap into self-confidence and truly love myself? I always shy away from potential and whenever I'm doing something good for myself and look amazing, I feel a bit uncomfortable. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca this episode is brought to you by accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync everything else follows spotify and accenture

are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most.

Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. I was hoping you'd give me some advice on how to conquer my self-doubt. Thank you. Oh, you know what? this is a great one to end this podcast off on because I think we all deserve going into this year self-confidence self-trust and just like excitement about ourselves we deserve to to love ourselves we deserve to feel excited about ourselves I know I talked in the beginning about

like our narrative our self-narrative I think that's so important okay how we speak about ourselves really does translate to how we feel about ourselves and how other people feel about us energy is everything okay and if you're giving yourself negative energy you're going to radiate negative energy and naturally it's going to turn people off i know it's it's odd that that's how it works but it really does work that way if you feed yourself positive energy you are then going to radiate positive energy the universe will return that back to you i understand also it can feel awkward or weird if you've never loved yourself trust if anybody knows more about that than anybody it's me i i hated myself and i don't know why i should probably get into that with a

therapist but like i hated myself for 20 years of my life i know that's crazy to say but like genuinely i did not like myself and it was because i didn't work on myself i lived for other people which made me feel like a shell of a human being which then made me turn inward and made me hate myself and talk negative on me and it it literally put me in the psych ward like it is not good for you so if it feels awkward to give yourself compliments or to talk yourself up or to like talk positively to yourself it's okay whenever you're changing a habit or changing a thought process it's gonna feel weird it's gonna feel awkward it's like riding a bike you know trying something new it's gonna feel new duh but that doesn't mean it's wrong okay if it feels awkward

or weird that doesn't always mean it's wrong for you so please up that positive self-talk if you don't know where to start maybe start with small compliments maybe you start with some gratitude journaling every night write down three things you are grateful for or three wins from the day three things you're proud of you can do that every single day three things and if you can't think of three we need to be doing it more often we need to be looking inward more your wins don't have to be so big sometimes it's simply getting up in the morning sometimes it's showering taking care of yourself i understand those lows can get so low but there's always a win you can find and then immediately energy is everything like i said once you start looking for those things you're naturally

going to start creating them in yourself look towards gratitude give yourself gratitude talk positively towards yourself it will build up self-confidence it'll outwardly extend positive energy it'll just be good for you another fantastic way to build self-confidence is to live for yourself the number one way to kill self-confidence and trust in yourself is to live for these other bitches around you who don't care if you live or die or to live for your parents who do care if you live or die who do want the best for you but aren't you they aren't you okay they have different thoughts they have different feelings they have different ideas and that's wonderful that's beautiful that's what makes us human but you are different from them you need to live a different

life and that's good you should do those things you should live for yourself it'll build up that self-confidence it'll build up that self-trust it'll build up that foundation that you need to be a functioning human being challenging yourself that will also build self-confidence oh you're afraid of going places alone go alone you will realize oh it's not a threat oh it's not so bad acting on desires i want to wear that hot sexy dress out wear it out it'll feel a little awkward because you have never done it before but you'll be more inclined to wear it the next time i want to go out dancing go out dancing i want to go to yoga go to yoga acting on desires is important stop living other people's lives and i mean that in a through the phone kind of method

stop consuming so many other people's ideas and like um ways that they style themselves ways that they do things ways that you know inspiration is important i think you should find inspiration i think that's good but also like you should be acting on things that you want to do not because the trends tell you to do so or because this person tells you to do so like i understand i get on here i give advice it's fantastic but like if it's not for you it's not for you i don't care act on what you desire to do all i can do is hope to provide the inspiration or the spark that you need to get there who you are right now looking in the mirror raw real no matter what you see no matter where you are no matter what or what you haven't accomplished you are beautiful you are

amazing you are strong and i am proud of you everything that you want and desire in this world you can go after the only person holding you back is yourself how bad do you fucking want it i know i say that a lot and mostly i give that pep talk to myself because i find myself engaging especially a lot last year with self-doubt or not listening to my intuition not going after what I really want and it does hold you back it does make you a shell of a person it does make you not want to engage in life but I promise as soon as you start giving into what you feel called to do what you feel inspired to do what feels natural and right and real and raw for you it is so addicting and cathartic and so wonderful that it will be impossible not to have a good self-confidence

not to have a good self-perception and not to live a good life you know does that make sense i don't really know i'm getting a bit loopy off this red bull if i'm being honest but what a great first episode back once again thank you guys so much for listening i cannot believe we won a spotify award baby's first spotify award like i said it's all thanks to you thank you for being here hopefully this episode was the dose of confidence boost that you need next episode i want to get silly we need a silly fun episode of course first episode of the year we got to get inspirational real raw duh next episode i want silly i want your craziest questions i want your silliest questions i want the questions that you would be like i'm about to go to reddit and

ask strangers yeah ask me i want to hear those things i'm ready if you want to submit a call in dm me a voice message at hannah marlena instagram you know where to find me i'm posting a lot of instagram too a lot of reels a lot of inspirational things a lot of dumb things you know live in life if you want to see my hot sexy outfit from new year's eve go find it there if you want to submit your question every single sunday to my instagram story or simply dm me your question you can do it there if you want to see more from me a lot more lots of extra content i'm about to post my monday inspiration i'm also going to post my monthly playlist and my monthly book club book come find it on patreon patreon.com smoke shotty they get an extra episode every week and they also go

to see the vlog early earlier than most but you can watch the vlog at youtube at hannah marlene 444 god i wish i could just have the same username across the board but it is what it is i feel like i'm so many different people and honestly you know what love it but go watch the vlog new one's coming every week i'm so excited for this year i'm so excited for all the content i'm going to be pumping out and all the fun hangouts we're gonna have cheers to another year stay you stay beautiful stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on September 19th join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer

foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca hey y'all it's kelly clarkson with wayfair ever order furniture online and wonder what if like what if it doesn't hold up that sofa was four days old you should have ordered from wayfair with wayfair there's no what if just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca Wayfair. Every style, every home.