Smoke Sesh - losing & finding yourself, sex drive + power of the pussy

Episode Date: December 19, 2023

Happy Tuesday hotties! I’m finally feeling better after last week and I’m excited to be back with another episode, we talk what ive been up to and my acid finals scaries, we smoke a little bit and talk how to make affirmations not cringey, being yourself & learning to open yourself up, how to break up the healthy way, being the manic pixie dream girl and losing yourself in relationships, how to make and keep adult friendships, STD’s and the dating scene, intuitively celebrating the new year, being confused in relationships, how to center yourself in chaos, never settle! And the power of the pussy, sex drive and relationship balances, plus much much muchhhhhh much more. It was such a fun episode and I hope you guys enjoyed, if you want to keep up with me follow on instagram @hannahmarlene and we will chat next week ! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning, hotties of the world! Welcome back for another beautiful little smoke sash. i am so excited to be back with you guys i'm finally feeling better from whatever

illness i picked up last week literally i feel like my last like good day of actually feeling like productive and good was that tuesday and thank god because that podcast episode was so fun um got up two espresso shots in me filmed it did it and then immediately after that i was like holy fuck I need to sleep for four days straight and you know what that is exactly what I did it was just what I needed um I really needed to just chill focus on me get some life things in order if you know what I mean um you know just prep and plan for the new year for all the things coming up all the great fun adult things i get to do as i grow up um but yeah i did that my friend so sad her stay here in kansas city is over she was only here for three months because she's a

travel nurse i got to spend so many fun times with her though it was so sad seeing her go i was like oh i probably won't cry when she leaves and then i get home and i'm like bawling i'm like girl i will see her again no biggie it just means i gotta get out there and travel and visit her wherever she is which is exciting but we had one last great night in town um we were like you know you gotta leave at like 6 a.m let's just go out to pasta and i love the kind of friends where it's just like you hang out but you you like don't want to stop hanging out so you keep just like making up random things to do so we're like okay let's get together have a glass wine hang out and then go get pasta so we did that we went got pasta we hung out for like

an hour two hours there had an extra espresso martini there and then we're like well we can't just like go home you know like i know you need to go to bed but also like we gotta go to like kelly's one last time you know the local bar we gotta go there one last time just for old time's sake so we went there we had another glass of wine and then we walked down the street went to another bar had another shot walked down the street to the dispensary picked up a joint went back to her place smoked it together hung out a little bit more and here we are and she left that morning and yeah a little sad but once again i had so many so many great fun nights with her um i know she's on to bigger and better things so i will see her wherever she

goes but now I am just back to my regularly scheduled schedule honestly. I'm very much so a homebody and she was really helpful with getting me out and getting me to do new things especially during the winter when I'm just like comfy where I am. So I've kind of switched my focus to really planning and thinking about where I want to travel this year, what kind of goals I want to accomplish this year i've been doing a ton of just um new year resolution prep on the patreon if you want to join us there um it's under hannah marlene come have some fun with us i'm gonna put up a little video hangout tomorrow sorry about last week i didn't have one up just because i was dying in bed i don't think i regained consciousness at all that day i was just in

and out of existence you guys know the feeling anyways i'm on like two espresso shots and one bowl and i think i need to smoke one more real quick with you guys before we get into all the freaking questions i know you guys have a ton i'm assuming you guys are fully through finals question mark considering christmas break or not christmas break christmas eve is on sunday um and christmas day is on monday i will have a podcast out after christmas day don't worry i got you guys here on winter break but i hope finals went well i know how stressful they can be um last time i did a final ever in my life which also me thinking about going back to school question mark much to think about might do that who knows what what hannah will do with her life

but my last final ever I know just how stressful they can be and this was when I was in like my like my club rat era my like crawling on the floor in the streets era um last final ever don't know why this is a good idea also my friend came into town the one who was just living here she came into town during finals just for a night she's like I'm just coming for a day we're gonna hang out she was done with finals so she's like I'm gonna come through here head home I think was the plan so she shows up in Kansas City I'm working that night I literally am like so sorry girl I know you're in town come hang out at my restaurant bar while I finish working I got off like 10 o'clock I'm like oopsies sorry it's so late let's go do something she's like great let's go back to

your house i have acid i've never done acid before but i was like okay this is the one and only time i've done acid so bear with me here we go back to my place i'm literally still my work uniform chopping up tabs of acid because i'm like i don't want to take a full one i'll take like maybe a half chopping up tabs of acid eating them we're hanging out we're doing our thing the thing with acid and any like psychoactive drug is they don't really kick in that quickly you know what i mean it takes some time for your body to process it and for you to fully get into the thralls of what a trip is especially like a trip that's supposed to last upwards of like eight hours you know like when you're taking acid that is a commitment and i don't think i really knew that because i had done

molly before and molly's like fairly quick compared to everything else it's like mushrooms probably like three three hours four hours max you know at the very very max so we eat this acid it kicks in it's like midnight i'm like what is reality literally the google images loading screen on the tv you know those like hyper hd photo realism around the world photos we're just sitting there like non-verbal listening to music and staring at these photos the most beautiful photos i have ever seen in my life and they're like moving like i specifically remember looking at one there's like a seal and seaweed and the seaweed is moving around it it's not actually moving obviously it's a picture but my brain's like that seal is swimming on my television right

now we're hanging out whatever we stay up till like 5 a.m tripping and i'm like okay girl i have finals i'm in art school like i have a whole creation i need to create this weekend i gotta to get some sleep you got to get home like let's try and lay down go upstairs my bedroom we're laying down we turn on the tv i'm like watching hannah montana tripping balls like what the fuck am i watching right now what's going on blah blah blah oh i think i've broken up with my ex by this point um i think we were done question mark or fighting either way felt like a breakup i'm trying to get back into that time period and remember what was going on but literally no sleep was going to be had on acid you can't just go to sleep your brain's like what the fuck's going on

what reality am i in so we're up and she's kind of coming down at this point but i'm still like in the depths you know like we're still tripping she's like okay well let's go get like what's open let's go get some food we haven't eaten all night we've been up let's go somewhere and so we end up at like the local bagel shop and when i tell you i look a mess i'm in a tie-dye hoodie pulled over my head fully like tied around my fucking face sweats slippers pupils dilated basically filling up all the white of my eye like i look possessed we're in this cute little bagel shop we're the only two in there looking a mess and a whole the whole synagogue across the street gets out at the same time that we're like just sitting down to eat our bagels and i'm tripping balls and i'm like

holy fuck i just broke up with my ex like his grandma goes to the synagogue is she gonna walk in this bagel shop right now like paranoid as hell i'm like we gotta go we gotta get out of here go back home keep in mind it's like 8 a.m by this point still tripping she's fine she's done like she didn't eat as much as me apparently and she was like girl i'm good i got a little bit of sleep i had a bagel like i gotta go um i gotta get home and i'm like okay great you do you boo i'm still here I have to finish my fucking project now like I have a whole art final due that is going to be basically what my entire semester grade is based on love you have fun let me sit my ass down and try and create this final now this final was literally me weaving a mask like knitting and

weaving a mask but also incorporating broken mirror glass pieces into it so i am going on 14 hours of a trip sitting down on the floor weaving a mask trying to put these little broken glass like mirror shards into the mask cutting my fingers sobbing crying three days later no sleep turn in my final i get an a literally i was like one of the only people in my class to get an a on our final but when i tell you i was up for three days because of that fucking acid and because of the stress of finals and having to create a beautiful piece of art and feeling the pressure and the need to do so because i'm paying so much fucking money and i better get a fucking a like holy shit let me put my whole body and soul into it it's worth it that stress that like anger you

feel that tiredness you feel like you feel it in your bones but it is so worth it and you come out on top and you come out resilient and you come out like yes i did that shit like we worked our little butts off and we did that shit you know what i mean and that is probably one of my lowest but also most proudest school moments was most people would be like well i'm high out of my mind I am just simply not turning in a final but I simply did not have that option so my ass was gonna sit down and finish that final and my god was it worth it so trust me your break is coming you've got it all coming for you you've done the hard work now sit back relax enjoy kick your feet up girl time to have a good time okay you deserve it that was a little bit of a longer intro so

let's rip this bowl together i haven't smoked with you guys recently together that's because oh my god you guys i'm on my edible journey i love an edible recently um i don't know if i told you about this last time yes i did how i took my friends to see salt burn and we were on so many edibles and literally it like oh my god that movie i just love seeing people's reactions to it and so many of you guys have been like dming me like girl you told me to see salt burn what the fuck why would you tell me to see that listen listen masterpiece because it's a masterpiece it will get a reaction of every single person around you you have no idea what's coming i love a movie like that I love a little freak I love a movie that is aesthetically pleasing to watch

I love a Jacob Elordi I love a psychological thriller I love a what the fuck's happening I love a good soundtrack let's be real movie of of the year okay anyways yeah I've been on my edible journey and I've been loving it I've been loving it and my lungs have been loving it too because i was sick and i was like i'm not smoking on top of my sickness like girl we are not that desperate you know so i went and i bought some gummies and yeah i've been just eating one of those at night and it puts my ass directly to sleep and it is fantastic anyways now that i can smoke let's smoke together cheers all righty someone said thoughts on affirmations i know they work but i cringe every time i

try it no no no you can't cringe okay affirmations actually i do get why you cringe every time you try it it's because they are not coming from yourself like when you read pre-written out affirmations on Pinterest it's giving live laugh love you know it's giving cursive in your mom's bathroom and you're like oh you know what I mean that's why you got to write your own you have to write your own um I feel like I became big on TikTok because all I was posting was affirmations and I need to get back to that because I do make a lot of them every Monday on the Patreon I do five affirmations for the week um and it's kind of just inspired to inspire you guys to do them on your own time but it's also to give you guys new ones to kind of observe and look at so if you

have a hard time with affirmations here's how I would go about it specifically with us entering the new year I feel like this is a very broad easy way to create your own and then you can get kind of like focused down on what you want to pinpoint like in a weekly sort of sense but create five affirmations for the new year that you want to embody let me pull up mine so then i can give you guys kind of like a you know a little example but mine for the new year were never settle cultivate the life you want crucially remain patient practice having joy for no reason i must change my life so that i can live it not wait for it praying and staying consistent on becoming a better version of me and so we keep going dreaming those are my affirmations for the new year and

they're not like you are hot and sexy I love you you know they're not like those basic affirmations but they are still pinpointed in a way that like my intuition is calling for and I want to put my my thoughts towards and specifically garnering toward them towards the new year and doing five not only will it creatively challenge you and intuitively challenge you and force you to look inward I feel like three is too little three you can come up with but four and five those are the harder ones those are the ones you got to dig for it's important but you can have them focus like pretty broadly on what you want to bring into the new year just keep it positive keep it like I am statements I will statements like statements as if it is occurring within your life right now

I like to create imagery behind them so my patreon girlies know this but like with every quote there is a picture in the background I feel like keeping it visual as well as worded is important and also having it somewhere where you can check back in specifically creating them for the new year will allow you to go back when you're feeling lost and look at your affirmations for the new year and then use those to propel you forward to keep you in check in a sort of sense so I guess that could be your homework for the night create your own okay when affirmations come from other people it's coming from their intentions what they seek and it might feel a little weird a little you know odd put on some music get into your favorite little creative app maybe it's tumblr

maybe it's pinterest whatever it may be look for inspiration ask yourself what kind of words do you need to keep yourself going this new year create five you've got this I love you hi hotties so I know Hannah's been talking a lot about vision boards on the pod um and like the app that she's been using I started making vision boards back in June when I first heard Hannah talk about it and like talk about using them like making a vision board for every month um and my favorite app to use is shuffles because it links straight to your Pinterest and you can take any photo from your Pinterest board and put it like directly on like through shuffles and you don't have to go through the bullshit of cropping or like screenshotting anything like it just

it comes straight from Pinterest so I really love that and it's free so just wanted to give the hotties this tip okay love that it connects to Pinterest had no idea this app existed might have to try because when I tell you 10,000 of my photos in my phone are literally screenshots from Pinterest that I use for my vision boards yeah yeah we'll be downloading immediately love you thank you for the pro tip I love people calling and give tips someone asked how to be yourself more and let your thoughts flow? This is a good question and I guess I can really only offer advice of what I've experienced but I was the kind of person who really didn't fully come to understand who I was until I feel like much later on in life than what people usually you

know start experiencing self-awareness and I felt like maybe that came from a place of I don't know if I didn't like myself or someone put that idea in my head I'm not sure if that was perpetuated by somebody or myself um but I felt the need to like behave in a sort of way that just simply wasn't me because I wasn't the status quo and let me tell you this when I wasn't acting as myself I felt confined I felt small I felt like chained up in a way I felt pushed down it didn't feel good and everybody who you know has experiences I think everybody's experienced this not being able to act in your true self you know how that feels and you know it doesn't feel good and when I realized actually I just answered my question from before I don't think it really came from

anybody else I think it mostly came from me and my just over analytical brain but when I wasn't allowing myself to act as myself and behave as myself and let my thoughts flow freely I was holding myself down so much. And the only thing I could do in order to open myself back up and like free myself from those confines that I created was to simply like, a to be cringes to be free. Like we hold a lot of thoughts about ourselves a lot of ideas about ourselves. And really, you know, holding yourself to way too many standards and way too many ideals is going to completely and utterly just kill your inner spirit let yourself be a multi-dimensional human being let yourself be weird okay let yourself make mistakes that is okay we are human

you're gonna be a little weird and awkward sometimes some people aren't going to like you you're gonna say the wrong things sometimes that's okay that's a part of being a human being and by not allowing yourself to have those experiences and you know be a little cringe is only holding you back and not letting you tap into the real reality of who you are and that connection that it brings so let yourself make mistakes let yourself be weird let yourself be chaotic and cringe in whatever way you think it is because usually most of the time you're not you're like holy shit that was so embarrassing but quite honestly no one is thinking about you that much everybody's thinking way more about themselves find peace in that idea quite frankly

once i realize like holy shit no one's really looking at me people are projecting their ideas onto me they don't really think too deeply about who i am and what i'm doing and they aren't hearing the way i'm breathing like literally overthinking that much no one cares in the best possible way free yourself from not only thoughts of other people but also thoughts of yourself okay and stand by yourself um like when you make mistakes when you you know inevitably become a human being and do a human being thing understand that that's okay and stand by yourself and be like yeah you know what that was a little weird but who cares quite frankly you know like as long as you believe that about yourself and you perpetuate a good ideal and a good understanding and you stand

by yourself through that time oh my god sorry for the hiccups then ultimately your self-confidence will raise you will allow yourself to be yourself more and um just things will go better you know social interactions life interactions interactions with yourself um time alone with yourself simply allowing yourself to just be and exist and do that humanly is so freaking it's just so freeing okay let yourself be you you're beautiful you're amazing and if you hold yourself back then truly nobody will be able to know you and you should be known you deserve to be known you deserve to be loved for exactly who you are for exactly how you present yourself and putting on a facade or faking who you are just simply they will be loving a fake version of yourself so present yourself who

you as exactly who you are and if they don't love you that way then they simply don't deserve your time period someone asked how to break off a two-year a long-term relationship of two years i'm going to give you the just straight answer okay a you know what to do so you know what you have to do b you need to do it in person you need to be sitting across them looking them in the eyes not in a public space that is so mean don't do it in a public space do it in a private space whether it's your shared apartment there if you guys don't share a place ideally do it at there so they don't have to leave and then be fucking crazy okay you are leaving you can leave their spot go to them do it there face to face see provide all the answers you can there it might

be a six hour ordeal of just fighting and arguing and them having questions answer all of them make sure all the doors are closed okay them being like was I just not good enough and you being like maybe or like what whatever the answer is you know allow them to ask questions and you to close the doors but also let them know there is no changing your mind there's no but what if but what if it's this is what's happening what questions do you have for me do you know what I mean sounds a little cold but you got to be a little calculated here because feelings are very hard breakups are very hard so you know answer questions what are we at a b c c c okay when you leave when you give them all the answers and then you leave and you go home before you leave and you go home you need

to tell them we are not going to have any more contact i think this is the best bet for both parties even if you want contact remove as much contact as you possibly can i'm talking when you go home go delete all those photos go block them all on all their socials go delete their phone number or block their phone number if you need you know take the random items that you have from their place go home get rid of all connection possible and I know that sounds cold and cold hearted but I think when people do that like reaching back out thing like a week or a month after breaking up it really just dredges up some really awful feelings and makes people even more confused especially if like maybe you have second thoughts and you were the one breaking up with

them it's just not fair to keep contact i understand if you guys like share a fucking pet or something and you need to do like a parental exchange or a child fine fine then like leave a text message thing open but don't take those facetime calls don't answer the text put put it on like silent whatever is needed and if you can remove all contact tell them it's just so you can get back you know focused on you so we aren't you know dragging along this relationship because it is over and then yeah i think you're good to go don't text them again don't send them a random snapchat don't do any of that bullshit you gotta show up at their place face to face answer the questions close the doors leave and disconnect and move on with your life sounds cold-blooded

but i wish somebody would have done that to me when i was getting broken up with god i wish it was like that but no it was a stupid fucking back to back and forth and back and forth and do you love me or do you not and do you want to be with me oh you don't oh you have another girlfriend in california oh okay you just wasted six months of my life do you know what i mean so it sounds a little cold-blooded but honestly i think it's for the best speaking of being yourself and allowing to be yourself i saw this question in my dms once again dms are always open if you want to submit a longer question but someone said how do i stop changing myself for men every time i become interested in one i subconsciously switch up everything

i think i have a stronger sense of self until some mediocre man comes around and suddenly i'm shaving the pussy bald wearing more makeup and even just texting differently real real i can i guys can i tell you guys a secret can i tell you my dirty little secret i love being the manic pixie dream girl i'm so good at it it is so it's so much easier to be someone else than yourself no one will tell you that but quite frankly it is it's easier to put on a mask and pretend and play pretend than actually be who you are maybe that's because i have a personality disorder not sure not sure i'll bring that up in therapy we'll get answers but literally i love being the manic pixie manic pixie dream girl and i think i don't know maybe that's why so many women find

themselves in relationships with men and then two years into it they're like i had no idea who this was is because people like to play games in relationships and they like to pretend and they like to you know not be themselves they like to escape reality for a second but quite frankly if you're really trying to fall in love and find someone who loves you the one thing you can do to ensure that you end up with somebody that a is good for you and loves you for who you are and also you love them for who they are is to completely and utterly be yourself no matter what to be so yourself that it is just undeniable because when i was a manic pixie dream girl and i was like i'm gonna cut my hair and i'm gonna wear this and i'm gonna show up here and i'm

gonna do this crazy manic pixie dream girl thing that they will never get out of their fucking heads they became obsessed but they became obsessed with a person who wasn't me and quite frankly turn off because i can't play that character forever i can for a little bit but constantly is just draining because you're not yourself and you're not being loved for yourself and that is going to be taxing so here's the thing falling in love and dating is so fun and you're gonna do some crazy things you're gonna do some manic pixie dream girl things here and there it's okay girl i get it it's fun you get a little crazy but like remember at the core of it all you will not find love unless that person accepts you for who you are and quite frankly

breaking down those barriers early and allowing them to know you and allowing you know you to kind of break that barrier first in order to get to know them so they feel comfortable as well that is where true connection comes from and you kind of playing this different character true connection is not going to come from that but yeah the manic pixie dream girl act it is one that is so fun it literally feels like you were just casted as the you know high school lead or the lead in the high school play you know what i mean it's like oh my god i'm a shining star i'm literally gonna go put on my wig now and get on stage like and i'm gonna go do my little dance and have a great fucking time but that is only fun for a very short amount of time okay and if

you were looking for a long lasting relationship it just simply is not going to work because like the manic pixie dream girl these men want a character and if you play the character they're gonna keep wanting it so might as well just like not adhere to the character and just be you be you okay if that man can't accept you for who you are he is trash garbage that woman whoever it is if your partner or you whoever you are dating cannot accept you for who you are and what you are and what you enjoy and your likes and your dislikes and your weird qualities if they can't completely and utterly accept that then they do not deserve any of your time any of your thought any of your energy period hold yourself to that standard okay but also don't hold yourself back open yourself

up to the world allow connection allow people to know you you deserve it a little something to add onto there neglecting your needs and desires will not make you easier to love okay neglecting what you need in a relationship will not make you easier to love putting on a facade in a relationship will not make you easier to love it will just make the connection much more difficult and you will not feel accepted for who you truly are so be batshit crazy from the start let them know who you are bitch you knew who I was when you met me and have fun love you hey queen I'm just gonna get right into it because I feel like this is gonna take a while so do you have any advice for a girl in their mid-20s who moved to a new city and has tried everything to make new friends

but doesn't have any new friends like I've tried bumblebee ff I go to concerts and farmer's markets and like try to talk to people there but no one really I don't know nothing really happens um and I don't really drink anymore because I was a maniac in college so I'm just chilling now I just smoke a lot and yeah I feel like a lot of socializing in your 20s revolves around drinking so it's hard um if you don't really like to do that um yeah and I just feel like a loser because new year's eve is coming up and i have no plans in this big city i have no friends really um so yeah any advice thank you bye hey girl so here's the thing i feel like when you're kids it's so easy to be friends because you've literally nothing else going on like okay we sit next to

each other cool we're gonna be besties but that's because there's literally nothing else preoccupying our mind like money time taxes holy shit you know it's way easier to become friends when you're younger the one thing people won't tell you about being friends in your having friends in your adult life is it takes work it takes work like literally I was texting my friend the other day we were supposed to hang out but I was super sick I was like girl I'm not coming over and getting you sick I love you but holidays coming up I'm not doing that to you love you queen but like let's figure out another time to to hang out and literally it was like okay well I'm busy for the next three weeks so I guess I'll see you after that and the thing is if you want to be a good

friend during that time it's like yeah you know what I respect you and I respect your time and I understand maybe you can't get together right now but I'm gonna hit you back up in three weeks you know we're gonna figure something out and no amount of time in between is really gonna matter um but yeah it really is like it's a hard balance and it takes work especially making new friendships like that's about maintaining friendships you know you're not always going to be able to get together all the time but you will find times to make it worth it and appreciate those times but making friendships and connecting you're gonna feel like you're harassing these people a little bit i'm not gonna lie you are you're gonna feel like you're kind of like putting yourself out

there too much but that's the point you know tap back into seven-year-old you who was like hey hey hey do you want to play on the playground hey do you want to play on the playground hey do you want to go the swings you know like you gotta be that little annoying kid a little bit because some people are just so fucking busy especially me like i'm so busy sometimes i need that just to remember like oh my god no yeah not that you exist but like oh my god yeah i do want to hang out with you i totally forgot had a crazy week at work let's figure something out do you know what i mean you're gonna feel a little bit annoying but i do think you can make it work um i say i know you've done everything and I know I you said you're from Atlanta and like that is a big drinking area but

like maybe find sober groups around you or sober meetups like I'm sure there's different groups and things to connect with um I would try like maybe Facebook groups you know see if there's like a sober Facebook New Year's Eve event um maybe also just like take yourself out go to a good dinner if you're going to a good dinner you don't have to drink but sit at the bar you know people might be drinking around you that's okay but you will be able to bring up conversation easier like at a bar of a restaurant than like a table by yourself do you know what i mean there's going to be other people sitting there alone who might be willing to chat up do you know how many people i have seen at my restaurant bar drinking or not just like turn their shoulder and then like

look at the other person and start chatting great fantastic coffee shops little things like that be like hey can i get your instagram concerts when you get their instagram like like their stuff a few times then hit them up a few times like hey i'm new here loved your vibes would love to do something i don't know if you're free they don't respond just like keep hitting them up i know it feels annoying but i think that's how just like adult relationships are um of course you want that give and take um and if you feel like the connection's not there that's okay cut your losses there's nothing wrong with you I just think people don't understand that adult friendships do take a lot of work um and a lot more work than when we were kids simply because there's just so

many outside factors and it's not you it's just life gets a little crazy a little hectic so I know it feels like you're being annoying but put yourself out there girl like hit these people up be like what are you doing make plans you know be like hey I want to try this new restaurant uh do you want to do this with me I feel like it's way easier to be like hey I want to do this do you have any free time versus what do you want to do what do you want to do you know include them on the plans you already have it's easier for people to say yes to that um rather than like trying to figure something else out together maybe there's like a vintage thrift uh pop-up happening maybe there's like an oddities expo happening maybe there's like um a small class

like a pottery painting thing you want to do a new restaurant you want to try little things like that you know the connections that you do have bring those ideas up ask them if they're free say you're new to town people are very open to people being new and wanting to show them the environment so you know lean into your younger self and that um that need and that want to just like make those connections and you're not going to be annoying you're not going to be weird making friends does take time and a way more effort than when we were younger but it's so worth it if you do put in the time and find the right people and I guarantee if you keep putting yourself out there you will find the right people I promise love you someone asked how to deal with

your new partner having an STI a month into dating okay first of all quick little STD you know STI conversation if you get one don't freak out usually very treatable I feel like way more common than people really think about especially with like i don't know how much sex people be having nowadays and feel free feel free that's why i'm always a big proponent for making sure you're getting tested regularly ideally in between partners if you can but sometimes you know you have a slip up and you get the text and it's like hey girl not that kind of hey girl sex actually hey babe i have chlamydia you know and listen your heart will sink and then your doctor will prescribe you a pill and then you'll be good to go in a week you know what i mean but um let me

reread the question new partner having sti a month into dating now if you are dating dating i would like dating like mutually exclusive ask them when the last time they got tested was because maybe it happened way before you but also you've probably been seeing each other for a while so how long when i would really question that if you guys are like dating i would really question where they got that sti from because you want to make sure you're both still being mutually exclusive faithful all that jazz and having one of those randomly pop up you got to ask yourself like where'd that come from because i don't think it came from me you know what i mean But if you're just casually, casually dating, situationship, friends with benefits, not really seeing each other, no exclusivity, no labels, and you get one of these, I think if I were you, of course, handle it, address it, get yourself figured out.

but if this is a casual partner and they give you something I don't know if I would stay with them just because like if I was sleeping with people I would I'm very much still like trying to be protective of myself but also I don't want to give somebody something so I'm not just going to casually go have sex with five different people because I don't want to get something and then give it to a bunch of other people do you know what I mean and if that's something they're okay with doing and they're lazy when it comes to their sexual health personally that's a big deal breaker for me because if we're just casual right now and you give me or are giving me an STI I'm afraid it might happen in the future you know and I think that's a good conversation to have be like hey

great thanks for telling me appreciate the honesty and the openness that part please like thank you for texting me i'm gonna go get treated maybe they'll can they venmo you like 30 for the medication and then yeah i don't know if i would keep seeing them if it's a casual thing simply because i mean it's embarrassing for them of course have giving it to somebody but also you don't ever want to be put at risk like that again you know now if it's something more serious i would definitely question it and be like where the fuck have you been how did you get this how long has it been you know how did you know things like that because if you're fully into a relationship and it pops up that did not just come out of nowhere it's safe to say let me tell you that

oh my god I have the worst cotton mouth now and I feel you can tell when you're listening to the podcast when I have a cotton mouth because literally it sounds like my brain is not being able to keep up with my mouth but really it's like my mouth super gluing itself shut because it's so dry anyways water break if you haven't drank water please chug some with me right now oh someone asked tips for welcoming the new year so i'm very intuitive with the way i welcome the new year um you kind of have to sit with yourself and ask yourself like okay how do i want to ring in this new year which i feel like how you ring in the new year really sets the vibes for that new year so i'm very intentional about it because in the past i haven't been intentional and then i

feel like i have a bad time because i wasn't doing what i really wanted to be doing you know what you want to be doing you know how you want to celebrate do so exactly you deserve it okay so last year i was like i want to party i want to be out drinking fucked up in a sparkly mini skirt and some heels i want to be out dancing having a good time and you know what that's exactly what i did i wanted to be a hot mess I wanted to be out drinking having a good time partying it up we went to a cabaret show we had way too many drinks we had way too much fun I probably flashed a lot of people that night with my mini mini skirt I fell in the street I woke up the next morning twigs leaves dirt in my hair literally a mess a mess but you know what that's exactly what I wanted to do

i had a great time i got my partying out of my system and i had a great new year because guess what that's what i wanted to do that's how i wanted to celebrate this year i don't want to do that again i thought about it i was like maybe no i want to go out and like get blackout drunk and party i don't think that's the vibe for this year um and i know it's not and i know my friends want me to but i have to listen to who i want to be and what i want to do so for this new year's I'm planning on doing like early New Year's I want to go to an early dinner I want to go to like a steakhouse or something you know all dressed up fancy in my little boots whatever I want to eat a steak with like a little mashed potato on the side and then I want to go have

like a cocktail at like an underground jazz club very like sexy grown woman vibes very much so like early champagne in red lights and then i want to come home i want to have a bottle of champagne waiting for me in my fridge maybe some dessert of some sort i want to take a hot ass bath and pop a bottle of champagne in the bath and chug it there and just chill that is my ideal new year's okay see how very different from last year but you got to listen to your intuition and create the environment that you want all right and listen sometimes you feel like there's not a lot of options there are look for them i found this like cabaret show last year that i went to on like kansas city's top 10 things to do this week you know like little small articles that

you find online you gotta hunt for these experiences and these things but you'll find them you'll have a good time listen to your intuition listen to what you want to do and do it create that situation for yourself i love you but yeah for me this year very much so grown woman bougie chill chill vibes that's the ideal also i know i'm doing something right because every time i scroll through these questions on my instagram and see your guys's cute little profile pictures i'm like yes i've got the baddies on my side the hottest baddest bitches are following me i i'm doing something right i love it you guys are so freaking cute and i am so happy you guys are here and so thankful i appreciate your love and support so fucking much like you have no idea and i have

so much fun stuff coming this new year's and i can't wait to share with you guys literally i know you've stuck with me for so long we're going on like three years now can you believe that of this podcast maybe two maybe two i don't know time fucking flies but i am finally like evolving a little bit in my podcast game and I can't wait to like sit and chat and have hangouts with you guys and it's gonna be so fun oh my god uh stay tuned stay tuned okay so besties in a predicament my bestie and we just want to know what we should do okay so basically there's this guy that we've been friends with for like four years and he was friends with her ex but now they're no longer friends everything's fine but this dude is like he just invited her over all day on sunday for a

christmas lunch brunch dinner with his whole family christmas party he's flirting with her but like not hardcore it's just like are we friends or not and we just do we say something because we don't want to make it weird he lives an hour and a half away and doesn't make it up here until like for like two three weeks so like what's the vibe like what what should we do here like oh my god I love that you're both calling in together that's so cute love that anyways welcome girlies I think he's just as confused as you are I hate to say that men are pretty stupid and there's not like a full motive behind everything they do in my opinion I think he's kind of in the same predicament that you are where you're like I like him I like spending time but also he lives

an hour and a half away so do I commit and he's like I same thing but maybe one foot further in because he did invite you to a family thing but he's also like do I you know get serious with this because they are an hour and a half away so I say like girl put your cards on the table be like hey had a great time with your family but like what are we and what are you looking for and I understand we live this distance away we maybe can't see each other's like let's talk about it together on if this is a good idea for us or like if we should just keep this casual and see each other every once in a while um and figure out a game plan from there because no offense i think he's just as confused as you are and you guys taking the moment to talk it out instead of like

guessing what you guys are feeling about each other is gonna make it way easier because yeah him bringing you to a family event does mean he's interested in you but I think he's confused on if he should commit because of the distance um yeah like I think you guys could have a lot of fun if you're closer together but I understand why distance can make people a little bit nervous about committing committing um so yeah talk it out or if you feel like maybe you don't want it to get serious or you are not interested in it getting that serious or like you want to make some distance between each other like maybe limit the contact when you are apart and then be like hey let's just hang out when you're in town you know like make it very clear that you are only

interested in him when he is nearby available if one would say that but it's kind of depending on what you're interested in um but yeah i think he's confused as fuck i think you're confused as fuck i think you both are interested each other and like each other but don't know what to do so talk it out you know have some good sex don't know if you're there yet but like get intimate you know lay up on his chest and be like gaze into his eyes and be like what are we so scary so scary man's worst nightmare no i'm kidding i'm kidding seriously though be like if we were to date you know are you interested in a partner right now could we work it out is it good for us have that full conversation so then you're not in a relationship with this man

and then you're like this isn't working or like this is a little weird because we're spending time too far away from each other and we didn't have those talks early on get vulnerable it'll bring you closer i promise love you someone asked date keeps canceling how many times is too many times um you have i would say three but three is way too many like you're getting scorned way too many times the third time is like the yeah fuck you time but the second time should really be the cut off so like if you've never met this person and they bail one time i get it you know schedules are hard understandable i did that to my boyfriend when we were supposed to hang out the first time i was like psych and then the second time i didn't bail if they bail

two times yeah no i think you should just cut all all opportunities you know like if you really wanted to see me you would get your shit together and figure it out you know bailing two times is like a that's a little avoidant i would cut your losses there but the third time bitch by the third time they should not even be a part of the roster or whatever like they should not even be a thought on your mind because no offense I don't think you are if they're bailing three times you are definitely not a priority to them someone said how to center yourself um my mind feels out of whack I don't know what I think yeah girl I feel that especially with this mercury retrograde going on um messages and feelings and ideas and thoughts can be a little bit confusing and construed right

now and I would really recommend not really looking too much into it especially with the chaos going on be intentional you know about thoughts and feelings but also like don't overthink this is not a time to overthink oh my god definitely not a time to overthink which is why i think centering yourself is important because although it is a little bit of escapism it's a healthy escapism you know it's removing yourself from that outside chaos and putting yourself into your own world you where you are experience what you are experiencing right now in this moment and centering yourself in on that rather than all the all the chaos maybe going on outside of you um and especially with this mercury retrograde we can be experiencing some technical

difficulties whether it's in relationships interpersonal relationships your own relationship with yourself technology cars anything like things are just a little bit more messy right now and so is our brain i don't know if you guys are experiencing these crazy fucking dreams every Mercury retrograde this happens like I just like day of I start having the most intense dreams ever like they're I feel like I'm literally living in a different reality um and that's why I'm saying you know like don't think too deep just you gotta center yourself but like don't allow your thoughts or that chaos to control you so let's dive into our own world that brings us peace now that can look different for everybody like everybody's gonna have their own way of kind

of like escaping into their world you know that that peace that they find in this chaos um like for my friend it would be her watching desperate housewives and puzzling for six hours like that is her that she loves that shit you know very odd maybe not my choice but it works for her for some people maybe it is like yoga mat on the ground you know no thoughts just meditating for six hours not me I can't do that my brain's too crazy for me it's like I'm gonna smoke some weed take a hot ass bath get out do some self-care with some music dance around my room and then go get creative maybe do some art do some something that brings that creative energy out of me that's how I center myself for like my dad it would be like putting his headphones on

listening to Harry Styles and going to the gym you know crazy but it works for them everybody's gonna have something different that works for them everybody's gonna have a way that they escape the chaos um and it should be healthy it's not gonna be like I'm gonna go to the bar and black out that's not healthy escapism that's just creating more drama more chaos for you to handle the next day we all have our own little healthy ways like you know what brings you peace what brings you joy there there really is no quote-unquote bad way of escapism except for maybe just like scrolling on tiktok endlessly that might be the only unhealthy way but i understand like wanting time to chill and relax and lean into that in whatever form it may be um whatever creative thing that drives you

whatever brings you passion and joy maybe it's like getting high and like doing your makeup for three hours and watching your favorite youtube video you know the little things that's what it's about that's what centering yourself means it means like of course addressing and understanding the chaos but taking a break and focusing on you and really leaning into that so then you can understand yourself and find peace in yourself in that moment of chaos that's what it's about everybody has their own special ways which is why I think human beings are amazing and wonderful and brilliant and only you know how to do that only you know the way that truly brings you peace but you know what to do and I believe in you it looks different for everybody but indulge a little

bit you know okay love this question someone said the guy I'm talking to says that my party lifestyle is something hard for him to get used to I'm in school go to work and the gym regularly I'm always down for a good time so if my friends want to go out on the weekend i'm always down since i have my priorities straight but he says it's too often for him he's very antisocial and doesn't drink or smoke or do drugs etc i however am the complete opposite i'm a stoner rave girly so you know how that goes love you twins would you consider this a deal breaker or something that could be worked out lol help hmm so my only red flags with this is he you are very confident in who you are you are a successful woman you like to celebrate yourself you know your limits you know your

boundaries you know you like to party you know you like to have fun you know who you are this you have made that very clear to this man okay as you should as you should dating 101 be open with who you are because hello you knew who i was when you met me you bitch you know what i mean if he sees that you expressing exactly who you are and wants to change you or you know doesn't like that that's a him problem and he's simply not going to be able to change you nor should he be trying to change you so if you are just seeing each other or just now talking you know that weird in between stage you're not really exclusive but you're figuring it out i say dodge this man altogether if you know who you are and you are confident in that as someone you are talking to

sees that and says they don't like it and wants to change that they're not the person for you you should not be dating you should not be seeing each other you should not have to change yourself to you know have someone else like you in any sort of way but I do think that party girl and anti-social boy lifestyle can coexist together as long as they fully accept who you are love you for who you are and support that endlessly like I will not change I'm gonna go to my raves with or without you I'm gonna go party with or without you I trust myself I trust you I'm just going out to have a good time and blow some steam off with my girls nothing wrong with that nothing weird about that you can either come with me and have a good time or like I'm gonna come home and see you later

and you need to accept that and love me fully and support me fully behind that that's how my boyfriend is that's how we get along that's why it works I've also been in relationships where like I want to do this and they're like if you leave this apartment right now you don't love me and it's like whoa what the fuck like I don't want to deal with that anymore I don't want to deal with people putting me down or not allowing me to have fun especially when we are so hard working and we deserve to have a little fun in our lives so if you're talking to someone and they're trying to change you at all within those first three months of knowing each other or like demeaning you in any sort of way within those first three months lose them okay ditch them as fast as you can and

you can tell them straight up be like yeah i know who i am and i enjoy these things and i don't think you enjoy those things so i just don't think we're a match you know like i need someone who can accept me fully as who i am and i don't think you know you accept me it's not that our lifestyles don't match because lifestyles not matching can still work out as long as you have respected understanding for each other and i don't think he has that for you especially if he's trying to say you go out too much when you were just celebrating on the weekends with your friends that's valid that's cool keep doing it keep having a good time but once again the okay we need to talk about this the power of the pussy okay i feel like women have forgotten about like the power of the pussy

we hold so much fucking power we hold so we can create life out of us we are literally a portal that creates living human breathing human beings we are goddesses we should be treated as such and i'm so tired of women forgetting the power of the pussy and like putting themselves down or not saying you do this this is just a whole separate rant i'm just i'm just on a roll here um love you it sounds like you do have high standards for yourself and you know what you want and you know this isn't working and i think you know the step that's necessary and i know you're brave enough to take that and understand that this man is not for you because he's trying to put you down but i think there's also a lot of women out there who like hear these things like no i have to change

talk about the man i pixie dream girl no i have to be this way you should not be acting or behaving any sort of way to make any man more comfortable within your life okay girl fuck them if they're uncomfortable by you they can fucking deal with that that is not something that you are supposed to demean yourself or make yourself smaller for at all especially for a man the power of the pussy you guys we hold the power remember that you hold the power set standards for yourself and if these people don't meet those fucking standards lose them okay like keep seeking keep searching the best situation for yourself I feel like I don't know there's no reason for any of us to ever have to settle like if they do not check boxes for you that is real that is valid do you want to continue

living with someone and just like existing with someone who is not the right fit for you or do you want to be brave and stand up understand your just like what you need for yourself and take control of your life and make that happen because you can you can there's not this like shortage of men out there there's not this shortage of good men out there that's not a real thing it's making us desperate it's making us settle for lesser people in our lives lesser people that simply do not deserve to even be spending time next to us to be breathing the same fucking air as us and just like we you hold the power girlies please please please remember you hold the power you are so powerful you are so beautiful you are so i know as this is geared towards women but just

in general like you deserve the best possible situation and outcome whether it's romantically whether it's interpersonally whether it's your life your career you deserve the best and you settling for something lesser or feeling like you're settling is not a feeling that you deserve okay when you are in love when this person loves you there is no question about it you feel uplifted you feel supportive you are not there on google and reddit looking up or like my fucking podcast like is this man right for me if you're doing that he's probably not okay he's probably not checking boxes and you deserve somebody who you know lives up to the things that you desire in this life the partner that you desire in this life because ultimately you deserve the best you

do everybody here deserves the best and you will find it as long as you stand by yourself remember your power stand in your power and your presence and don't settle for less ever ever had to get serious there for a moment i love you guys i had to i had to remind you guys who the fuck you are because you are all so amazing and beautiful and brilliant and i'm so tired of seeing people lose themselves in lame ass men and lame ass relationships okay literally takes years off your life it's not worth it don't settle please please don't settle hi hannah baby i love the fact that you're thinking about going video format love that um this is just like a thought as like a fan of the show please don't do it on YouTube YouTube is so strict now with everything

like I am afraid that this podcast is gonna have to be cut down on like the topics that we can talk about like you know what I mean what if I want to ask you what's the best mushroom strain to take at a music festival that will get me energized like I feel like YouTube won't allow that you know and then but Spotify video is so comforting to me like I can drive I can like watch a video at home and then when I'm driving to work I can continue listening to it you know like it's so good I can't wait but please do it on Spotify Spotify is the best for this please love you okay I love this feedback thank you so much um so the plan is not only will i upload it on spotify video i wasn't sure if people like that format you know i'm glad to hear that people do enjoy the spotify videos

because it is you know you can listen audio and visualize it and it's still on spotify where you can have all your favorite music your podcast you know i will be posting the videos on spotify video and I'll be posting them on YouTube. I'm also going to hopefully be posting some vlogs, some little day in the life, things like that. Fun little videos that I've been doing on Patreon. I will upload them early on Patreon, but then also upload them eventually onto YouTube. But I will be doing YouTube video episodes as well. And they should be the same exact videos as like the Spotify videos. I'm hoping to not have to change them at all. Spotify videos, Uncensored, always. but the youtube videos i'm just i will i'll know they'll be demonetized you know what i mean i know

i just won't make money off of those and that's okay with me as long as i can get that content out to you guys and be vulnerable and be real with you guys i know i can smoke weed on youtube but yeah the topics might be a little interesting i know for a fact i'll get demonetized but i am still gonna going to stay as true and as real to this podcast format as i can like even with the call-ins I'm gonna try and put your questions on there so people can read if they want um but and not with names ever I love you guys I love anonymity unless you want to include but I it's gonna be the same exact thing that you're listening to right now but a video so I am so excited for it love you thank you for the feedback someone said I received hate mail from

my ex roomie for the first time a literal handwritten letter have you ever experienced something crazy like that no but i would die i would die to get bring back like literal handwritten letters of just like love declaration or like hate declaration i would have that shit framed that's so funny and so psycho that's so psycho do you know my journal is my journal is just handwritten hate mail that i never put into a fucking envelope and send out that's what your journal should be that's what people don't understand journaling should be like no crazy chaotic like just get all the thoughts out it doesn't have to make sense the fact that she tore it out and then mailed it to you is just x roomy for a reason i understand you obviously

dodged a bullet but like i wouldn't read too much into it other than like lol girl that's the only thought i would have about this loki would have it framed that is cray cray luckily i haven't really dealt with anybody too crazy i've received handwritten letters of like apology and i do appreciate that i love a handwritten letter like that but it just means so much um but like crazy mean things not really i've had like one friendship breakup that really fucking sucked um but that girl did not give a fuck i had she she did not give a fuck about me that's the one thing I had to realize like you got to cut your losses sometimes and be like you know what I did my best and I put myself out there but if they don't want to accept me and they want to do something crazy

to me that's on them and all I can do is understand the situation and move forward the best for what's best for me sometimes that's all you got to do obviously it sounds like you did considering ex roomie and she's sending you hate mail cray cray um but yeah I wouldn't read too much into that luckily no one's done anything crazy like that to me thank god but yeah lol oh someone said my bf and i have entirely different sex drives he hasn't touched me in a month i feel gross a you're not gross let's cut that idea out immediately you're hot sexy beautiful you deserve to feel that way but yeah i think in relationships i um the two biggest things that i think caused the most oh maybe three three biggest things that cause the most stress

in relationships are a finances b sexual you know experiences or not experiences drives i guess and then c communication more so lack of communication um and if you can find a way to find peace with all the all three of those things then i think you will have a happy healthy relationship but listen sometimes you know sex drive is off I get that mine ebbs and flows um like I know if it was up to my boyfriend we'd be having sex like four times a day but of course it's gonna ebb and flow and especially with like my um period and my cycle like it's going to be different at different times of the month and that's normal and that's fine and the best thing my partner can do for me during that time is just like don't question it of course like if I won't

have sex I will initiate it but also like if I turn you down it's not because I don't love you it's not because I'm grossed out by you it's just because that's something that I don't want to participate in and I need to listen to my body and that is normal healthy okay but there does become a point where if you feel like you are not like maybe it's stemming from something else as well like not only your sex drives are off but maybe there's just not a lot of like that physical connection and physical connection does not have to be sex it can be just like intimacy in any sort of form whether it's holding hands or hugging or touching if you are also lacking that as well and you feel like you need that in your relationship and you need more of that maybe you guys just

aren't compatible and that's when you need to ask yourself like how important is sex to me how important is physical connection to me because we are all going to be completely different like I have a friend who like needs to be needs to have sex like nine times a day and that's valid that's good for her she's got to find a partner that matches that but I also have a friend who's like I don't even want you to touch me like I want you to sit at on a separate couch across from me like we can hold hands every once in a while and we can have sex every once in a while but physical intimacy is not important to her and not on her mind whatsoever and if she had a partner who was like pressuring her into wanting to do that more I don't think she'd be comfortable and she found a

partner who is comfortable with that a little less physical intimacy and I think it works very very well for her but it is a fine balance and that's the whole part of dating is you know discovering what you like what you need in a relationship and if you find you need more physical intimacy in a relationship i'm not saying you should go to your partner and like try and get that out of them because obviously maybe that's something that they don't need but of course you can talk about these things ask them what's up what's going on hey i've noticed this i'm kind of looking for this in a relationship and come to your own conclusions is that such an important thing in your relationship that maybe you need to find a new partner valid cool I'm glad you learned that about yourself and

took something from this relationship and you had a good time together but maybe it's time to move on maybe there's a miscommunication and misunderstanding with your partner you know maybe you know he wasn't aware I don't know you know you've got to talk these things out in relationships having that gray unknown area is so stressful and it's just not healthy in a relationship and the sooner you can break that wall down and just have that conversation the better not only will you feel but also the relationship will get and you will get your understandings you will come to a conclusion and be able to make decisions based on that but once again dating is all about understanding what you need and what you want in a relationship and

a you're not gross you're beautiful you're amazing and I don't think I'm hoping your partner's intentions are not to make you feel that way and I don't think they are but I understand where that is stemming from so i encourage you to have a conversation with your partner i know it can be a little scary but there's no need to not have it i think it's important to have that conversation ask yourself what you need from a relationship can this person provide it for you and if they simply can't maybe it's time to move on to something that's a little bit healthier not only for you and what you need but also healthier for them and what they need especially if you can't provide it for each other but i i think sex is very important in a relationship and finding a

sexual compatible partner is very important along with finances and communication communication is the most important thing in a relationship girl if you're dating you guys should be able to talk about anything straight up straight up like you guys need to be able to communicate healthily and talk about anything like standard number one so have that hard conversation really either bring you closer together and you're gonna have crazy sex or you're gonna be like yeah i need to find this elsewhere and maybe this isn't working valid either way but i love you and you're beautiful and don't think that about yourself okay i love you i also feel like speaking of sex drive i actually got a lot of questions recently about like i feel like my

sex drive's too low how to get more sensual um and i don't know if the pressure is coming from like your relationship with like a partner or your relationship with yourself but the best thing you can really do is offer forgiveness for yourself and understand that like sex drive is going to ebb and flow like I talked about earlier um like for me I'm not going to be like horny crazy every single day that's just not possible for me especially with like the you know the hormones that I experience the change in hormones throughout the month and I let them ebb and flow and do their thing and I don't overthink them and that's the best thing ever but I do or that's the best thing I can possibly do for myself is just like accept who I am understand how I'm feeling and lean into

that and don't question it but when I am feeling like you know you know I haven't you know been a little little horny devil recently like I want to get a little crazy how do I amp myself up I understand that as well like you know my sex drive has been a little low but I do want to you know get a little crazy here soon here's some things you can do a if you have a partner I've talked about this before you guys can work together you know like foreplay spend time with each other before you go you have sex okay i'm talking like long foreplay like not like foreplay isn't touching but like your foreplay can start with like getting ready together like get having a shower together and then getting ready for a date night and going out on this really nice date night

and going to your favorite restaurant and then you know maybe going out to a dispensary or like a liquor store and getting a bottle of wine or a joint to share afterwards then going home and then like you know sharing that together and like slowly getting closer and playing good music and then blah blah blah and then the actual touching foreplay begins spend time doing that and then the sex like build it up i'm talking you will be crazed okay best sex of your life if you need to spice things up in the relationship you're like we've done that too many times like that's just a routine now go to a sex store together you know explore together um like look at different things try out new things visit your different fantasies whatever it may be fantasies together not fantasies

outside the relationship let's be real okay um try new toys try new lubes try new flavored things get a little crazy in that sort of sense um but also i think sex drive can also be built within yourself you don't necessarily have to have a partner to feel your sex drive simply getting sensual with yourself um like taking time to pamper yourself and treat yourself accordingly and like taking a long bath and then like doing a sugar scrub like touching yourself in a non-sexual way but in a sensual way like I feel like the routine of smoking and then putting on my favorite music and like dancing in my room and getting ready and doing my makeup and like indulging in that sort of way is really sensual for me as a person um like it doesn't isn't necessarily like

touching yourself in any sort of sexual way it's just like a sensuality that you're building within yourself treating yourself like the goddess you deserve to be treated you know i think it can also stem from not only your partner and getting treated treated accordingly but also treating yourself accordingly and having those standards for yourself and building that sensuality within yourself also if you're watching porn and you feel like you have a low sex drive i would cut that out i genuinely believe that porn is killing your sex drive and because you're able to indulge in it really quickly and like burn through it very quickly instead of just letting it sit and linger and sitting with that feeling and understanding that feeling and building it up so then you feel

more comfortable within it i think porn kills a lot of sex drive a lot of romantic drive within relationships and within people and cool it's fun to get off quickly every once in a while but also like use your imagination girl you know like get creative with it let's go back to the dark ages and like close your eyes and use your fingers you know like explore that sort of way but knowing what you like will help your partner understand with what you like um help you translate to your partner what you like um and it'll just make that kind of transition within sensuality a little bit easier especially if you're in a relationship but also you can get freaky with yourself and i really recommend doing so but i was helping my friend move out and she's like here's my box of sex toys

like she's not had sex with a man like a year or so but literally i'm like oh you own like 12 sex toys like you have fun with yourself it's important to do that don't forget to have some fun like you don't have to be in a relationship to be sexually gratified okay lean into what you like try new things out have fun build up that sensuality treat yourself the way you deserve that's i feel like how i build up my sex drive personally oh someone said i've been working so hard that i forget to give myself a pat on the back what should i do well first of all let me say i'm so proud of you and this is a good reminder you can't work hard and not like support and uplift yourself through that because then you're gonna burn out and you're not gonna be able to continue working

hard the hardest workers are also the people who you know take the time to uplift themselves and encourage themselves through it and really celebrate themselves along the way and that could come in any different forms like with this podcast I like to do like a it's my day off so I'll record in the morning and then like that afternoon or evening I'll go out for like a yummy meal and that's my way of celebrating maybe you've like a really long hard class on one day or a couple days so to celebrate you like go get your favorite cheap tacos afterwards like that's what I do to celebrate I literally cannot wait for my fucking tacos tonight they're gonna be so good anyways maybe it's a oh my god I'm gonna write this really fucking long paper and then I'm gonna

go take a hot ass shower and smoke a bowl you know like that's how I'm gonna treat myself but only after I get all my work done maybe it's a long-term goal such as like okay I gotta finish the semester and then I have a trip planned when the semester ends to celebrate but I think planning accordingly and taking the time to really just like address and uplift yourself throughout it there's no celebration too small there's no celebration too big take every moment that you can to really indulge and just like look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and be like i love you you did a great job you would be surprised how much that means to yourself and how much it keeps you moving forward but you must address that you're doing good if you're constantly like

no I can do better no I can do better no I can do better which I have been for a long time you will constantly feel put down and let me let me spoil it for you you will not do better because you will just have so much pressure that you are under that you won't be able to actually you know uplift yourself and get through it so be kind be caring indulge a little bit celebrate you deserve it you guys are so freaking hard working and amazing and beautiful and talented so don't forget it anyways i think that's it for the pod you guys i know it's been so fun today i what do i have to do today nothing love that for me i bought new sheets i'm trying to get into like not making my my whole apartment is like pretty much done organized cutesy except

for my bedroom like she's cute but I want to put way more just photos and decorate it more so I've learned that I really love crisp white sheets and crisp white pillowcases I am my period right now so we'll see how that works but I'm gonna put those on my bed I'm gonna do some laundry I'm going to smoke some weed I'm gonna chill I'm gonna keep working on my little new years and resolution things I'm also I've been having the worst hormonal acne I know it's hormonal because it's all like on my neck and my chin when I'm breaking out in that area it's like my hormones are out of balance and I've heard that spearmint tea is supposed to be really good for it so I will be trying that tonight as well I'm gonna make me some spearmint tea with some honey some lemon

see if that fixes my freaking hormonal acne i'm gonna eat some tacos later tonight hopefully off a few gummies and chill that's how i'm celebrating myself today after some hard work remember to celebrate yourself remember to love yourself remember to lean into what you need during this time don't let that chaos of thoughts and feelings especially during this metro what the fuck metro mercury retrograde holy shit especially during this mercury retrograde don't let your thoughts and your mind get jumbled as much as my mouth just did okay remember to center yourself focus on your little world and what brings you peace okay fuck everybody else focus on what you enjoy and what brings you peace and lean into that remember to have a good time as

much as you can look towards the future keep dreaming and i will see you all next week oh my god wait and a merry christmas oh my god i will see you after christmas hope you guys have a great little holiday happy yule happy christmas happy hanukkah whatever you celebrate and yeah now i'll see you next week