Smoke Sesh - lucky girl syndrome & chasing your dreams

Episode Date: March 3, 2026

hello everyone and happy Tuesday! today we talk what I've been up to, my upcoming travels, learning to let loose and have some fun, learning to chill out, balancing adulthood and childlike whimsy, traveling to Austin, current depression disaster plan, how i'm starting to feel better, getting help, focusing on yourself, okay with not being okay, getting off the phone and into the world, how to get lucky, lucky girl syndrome, opening up to the gifts of the universe, the luckiest people I know, being abundantly yourself, connecting with people, open to communication, taking risks, going after your dreams, how to dream, moving forward, doing it for yourself, and much much more!submit your questions follow the instagram at hannahmarlenejoin the patreon club at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtywatch the vlogs at YouTube.com/hannahmarlene444

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello hotties and welcome back welcome back to another lovely episode of smoke sesh i hope you guys are doing okay i'm honestly feeling pretty good i've been getting a lot of like rest and relaxation specifically intentional rest and relaxation in um i feel like for the past year or so my rest or relaxation has been like okay dissociate on your phone consume

consume consume rot your brain because i was just like an avoidant era of my life and now it's more like okay obviously obviously that's not making you feel good so what does and start implementing that i the first time ever in my life i set a screen time for myself like a screen time lock for myself because I was like there's no reason for me to be on TikTok longer than like maybe an hour hour and a half a day truly and honestly like that's even a long ass time and I really hope to get it down to less than 30 minutes that's my goal but I was like we gotta we gotta do something we have to do something we have to implement something and so been sticking to that been doing a lot of art recently which has felt really good um I'm starting to kind of like deep

clean my house I don't know I'm in the mood for spring it's officially March happy March I feel like finally once March comes around it's like okay we made it through the first two um months of the year which are always hellish and so slow and so cold and so dreary and so gray personally personally don't let me project that onto you but that's just been my observation this year march is finally that glimmer of hope like you're running with the race you're running the race i used to do cross country and it's like the last fucking i don't know mile singular mile even though you just did six to eight miles the last mile is always the hardest because you're like uh i know the end is there but it's like i just i can barely see it is it worth it i'm exhausted

it's worth it it's worth it march is your reminder to like hold on hope babe okay to kind of like start planting your seeds of what you want to reap and grow by the end of the summer to start planning in a very well-rounded way sometimes the planning that we do in um january or end of december as we get ready for the new year don't actually really take fruition until March anyways, because astrologically and just earthly, that is when the world kind of starts regrowing, regenerating. That's what really feels like the beginning of the year, the spring equinox on March 20th. So I've really just been trying to hone into that energy. I feel like it's really potent and offers a lot of potential, even with any sort of chaos you might still be dealing

with because we are still in a very chaotic era of time obviously obviously we have a full moon coming up I have been getting like the weirdest dreams ever and I can't even remember any of them I just wake up with like hazy memories of I don't know past lives or something this is why I really don't dive into like dream interpretation at all I'd rather I can only focus on what's in the real world in front of me that's enough I don't need to get into the dream world I kind of just let that be its own separate experience because that's too much to think about um but my the dreams have been crazy leading up to a full moon I always get like the weirdest amount of sleep so I've been trying to focus on rest relaxation winding down and just preparing because this weekend I

actually will be in Austin Texas for a bachelorette party speaking of um you know fixing my depression a little bit i did go on a shopping spree that is not the best way to handle and manage your feelings but a girl's gonna indulge all right she is going to indulge i went on a little shopping spree i filmed it for youtube come hang out with me hannah marlene 444 um i think it's called like i'm depressed let's go shopping or something very real very raw it was fun i needed some fun little flirty things to wear to the bachelorette party this weekend um but yeah i'm really looking forward to it spending time with a childhood friend who I haven't seen in a while get to uplift and celebrate her to uplift and celebrate love we're gonna get drunk as fuck

we're gonna create some new memories it's gonna be a great time I'm also visiting my other friend down there and I feel like her life has been just as crazy as mine so she's like girl just come here like you can stay at my apartment for three nights and we're just gonna chill we're gonna lay in the sunshine get some juices from juice land and chill the fuck out and I love that plan because usually when I'm a vacationer I'm like bus club train another club another club and as you know I'm in my era of like rest relax learn to have some fucking fun and go with the flow so I'm really gonna try and lean into that this weekend but with that being said I do have a busy week leading up to it next week I am I'm pre-recording an episode because I never want you guys to miss

I will still be in Austin Texas on the days that I usually do record so wait a little bit I'll have the updates from the from the journey you know in a couple weeks stay tuned but if you want to see what I'm ever doing follow me on Instagram at Hannah Marlene I do kind of just like live posts from there I love Instagram and sharing especially getting off TikTok and getting on Instagram a little bit you can't mass consume on instagram as you can on tiktok so um i also feel like i find a little bit more inspiration on that app um i've really been trying to lean into it also you can submit your question every single week to my instagram at hannah marlene submit your call-ins there just dm me a voice message i'll play it live on the podcast because i've been loving

doing that you guys are cracking me up i love hearing your guys's voices and connecting a little bit more but yeah i'm just trying to learn to have some fun enjoy live girl relax relax i feel like I want to talk about on this podcast especially leading up into March I feel like March is you know there's a lot of holidays and celebrations going on regarding spring and summer and embracing life planting seeds and most importantly like garnering luck so I want to talk about lucky girl syndrome and kind of how to emphasize that in your life how to bring more luck forward how to bring more positive interactions forward I feel like that is a big theme to really focus on especially during the month month of March it sets you up for some

really good successes later on in life and later on into the summer it's gonna be a bit of a busy week life always approaches me very fast and i'm just gonna try and ride the wave the best i can and approach it with the most hopeful light-hearted inspired nature that i possibly can because if i'm being honest that's what i have not been doing for a while i've been in control freak hyper vigilant hypersensitive era for a while and mama i can't do it anymore i cannot do it anymore also speaking of i do want to have like a very real conversation here um you guys know i've struggled with acne for a very long time and finally i was like i'm sick of it i'm fed up obviously there's things within my control there's things without outside of my control especially regarding acne

sometimes it just is what it is but for the most part i did want to see what i could implement to my routine and try and you know heal what I could or fix what I could within my control um and so I went to go see a dermatologist she put me on spironolactone and um I kind of started doing the math and this is not how medications interact with everybody is different for every single person um please you know speak with your doctor thoroughly before starting a medication um she kind of just threw me on this and listen every time i go to the doctor i always whenever they're like checking boxes of previous medical history i always check the box for depression and anxiety because i hope and pray hello it's your fucking job that they'll pay attention to that and maybe

not put me on medications that can trigger you know psychological effects because obviously i am susceptible to that and um like my i guess my body's awareness to it is heightened and thus it's more prevalent in my medication history and the effects it might take on me and I was doing the math of like when I started spironolactone and when my mental health kind of took a massive dip and if I'm being honest and this is not to scare you this is a miracle drug for some people some people it's not every like I said every medication affects people differently but I was like oh my god is it my spironolactone that's causing it because if you're looking at like a chart you know spiro usage went up mental health went directly fucking down so i was like okay let

me just you know for research purposes within my own body you know my body my choice let me not take it for a week like getting off it for a week is not gonna do too much to me i was on a pretty low dose but still like let me see if it does something i feel immensely better like i said this is not to scare anybody but i kind of forgot i don't know i was just in a place where i was like doctors yes trust obviously you have to trust them it's their job duh but like oh I just didn't even think about it possibly having psychological effects on me until I was like oh wait it can affect your hormones and thus it can affect like how it interacts with your body and I was having a very very negative reaction to it if I'm being honest because I was like having this conversation

with my boyfriend I was like I am at a point that is so low that like I haven't been in any long time and I'm aware of like you know my triggers my behaviors how to handle my depression I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on it and of course it's gonna dip lower than usual sometimes here and there but honestly like nothing of extensive stress or like intense actions was happening in my life and yet I was feeling as if it was like all gonna explode like I was on the brink of like a very bad mental breakdown and it just it didn't feel right within me it was like obviously of course I hit low points but this this doesn't feel right you know of course it doesn't feel right but it doesn't feel um like something that I'm used to dealing with and thus

it has to be like a little bit new so I put on my like my research hat for a second and I was like oh my god fuck it let's try getting off the spironolactone guess what i feel immensely better it's crazy um so i'm gonna go to my doctor in a couple weeks and be like hey girl please do not up that dosage but please can i try something else because like mental health the extent of like and it wasn't even fixing my acne completely i'm like oh my god i can't be depressed and have acne like that's not gonna work I'm gonna be even more sad than ever and to be fair I feel like with Accutane people are like it it actually does have a big psychological effect on you um and it can on people but I saw more success mentally on Accutane because it was like working so fast

that suddenly I didn't have to be on it for life and I just kind of had like power through a couple months it honestly like worked really well for me so I'm hoping and praying I can go on my hands and knees in front of her and be like listen just put me on accutane again like i know it worked for me i've been through it before this is obviously not working for me and like i literally cannot be that depressed ever again so let's not do that but that was a fun little revelation and um yeah i'm glad i'm feeling better i'm glad i had the wherewithal to like be aware of like the different effects things are having on me because i just did not feel right and i knew it was sudden but there was no necessary cause and that's what confused me the most I was like I feel so out

of control but also it's like sure if shit was hitting the fan and like it was like last year where my cat was immensely sick I had so many bills and vet bills my car got stolen like shit's hitting the fan and I was this sad I get it I get it hello life is trying you but like literally it was nothing happening nothing happening I just got back from vacation and I'm like what hello and sometimes that's just how it is with depression but also it was just like that was too much too much so no spironolactone for me that's my acne update for you guys that was a big revelation in my life this week and obviously as you can tell from like literally how i'm sitting here and how i'm holding myself you can tell i'm feeling better speaking of people

are asking me where i get my outfits so i'm gonna start doing a little outfit check of the day every time i sit down with you guys dresses from princess polly i do love a princess polly dress especially if you're a girl who has like um wider hips they make a clothing that's not so boxy and i feel like it really hugs my curves in really beautiful ways so dresses from princess polly cute little like butter yellow spring summery dress and then i got this incredibly beautiful statement pendant i'm really into statement pendants um especially like massive chunky statement pendants i think it's just so beautiful this is from crafter day they make incredibly fun whimsy jewelry pendants things like that they had this spiral in gold and I feel like the spiral was

just so me so thank you so much to them for that that was so sweet I love their artistry and their art but I've been trying to dive into like expressing myself more through clothes because I have some neat fantastic clothes I just purged my closet I'm probably gonna be selling a bunch of it off because I want to make room for some fun new things and just like things that fit my body now that I'm kind of getting into my mid to late 20s and so I want to share that journey with you guys and things that are inspiring me or things that are working for me as well anyways i don't know if i have much to catch you guys up on um yeah life's been you know we're working our way back up okay it was sunny for like three days and like 65 degrees and it was like wow when

sunshine hits a girl's face and she reels realizes life is worth living again it was really like that um yesterday i had the whole day off so i just spent it kind of resetting my house um doing some laundry and eating a lot of really good food that's probably my favorite thing to do whenever i feel like i need to reset or need to take care of myself so we got some fantastic mediterranean food um pho oh i love pho there's nothing better than pho and then some like really fun little pastries to munch on at night it was fantastic like i said learning on how to like chill and have fun and release myself to the universe in a way that feels very cathartic and actually healing and resting um it was so funny because i did the patreon episode this past week

and i got like three questions from people who were like how the fuck do i chill out and have fun and i hate to be like sometimes i don't have the answer for you because maybe i'm honestly like really bad at it as well but i also think it brings up this beautiful thing where we can learn together and like through realizing our faults together we can also be like oh damn let me change that let me fix that in a very healthy cathartic way it's nice to have your um you know horizons widened a little bit through other people's perspectives so i've really been trying to lean into that and it's hard because i look back at like my early 20s self and she was so free she was so free she did not give a fuck to be fair she probably did not give a fuck to us

an extent that was like unhealthy you know like we gotta be able to clean our house and do laundry and do the adult things hello of course like you can't just like throw those bills on the fucking ground but also like you need that balance of rebellious late teenage early 20s freedom and then like the stability that you develop in your mid to late 20s you have to let those coexist inside of you and for a while I feel like it's been a constant war of like one side of my brain that's like the more rational side like no that's a waste of our time it's not worth it we need to focus on this no you need to do the laundry now no a b c d whatever the fuck you know and then the the childlike side of myself who just wants to have some fucking fun and chill is yelling back

like no like we need to go frolic in a fucking field and I feel like I've just been kind of letting that war inside us there are two wolves no i'm kidding have you seen that meme oh it cracks me up anyways i feel like that internal battle has been going on for a while and the only reason the battle has been occurring is because the rational side of myself has gone way too controlling and thus i need to let like the childlike free individualized person of myself exist and have space to exist and play and enjoy so i've been really focusing on her a little bit it's so funny because like to be fair and i really do not encourage like unhealthy recreational drug usage and please do not take this as advice it is just my lived experience and the situation is what it

is in my early 20s i was probably as free as i was because i was on a lot of drugs and i'm not trying to do that many drugs at this point in time in my life so it is a relearning lesson but also it's like damn I wish I could just pop some molly and like party for eight hours and realize life is cool and fun again just kidding just kidding our relationship was so unhealthy and although we had a lot of fun I don't recommend that kind of toxic unhealthy relationship to anybody but doing like mushrooms and molly really did teach me like girl it does not matter literally nothing matters in a very healthy cathartic way like stop putting so much pressure on yourself and like dance move your hips move your body enjoy your life plant your feet firmly in the ground touch

some fucking grass close your eyes and like raise your head to the sunshine for a little bit hug a tree bitch and like have some good times okay you cannot have so many bad times bad times bad times you cannot make your life harder than it is you cannot like only focus on the control and the overwhelming like adult side of things or else life's gonna get you down it's gonna get you down it's gonna weigh heavy on you those responsibilities are going to seem so much grander than what they really are and instead of like living and enjoying and having a good time you're gonna be miserable 24-7 so with a lack of drug abuse I'm trying to really put myself in that mindset speaking of we'll get into our questions now thank you for letting me ramble I love you guys so much

two in five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on September 19th join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation analytics and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business the result less time spent on

operations more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most learn more at accenture.com slash spotify really pop and like the most perfect human genuinely this isn't really a question i'll have to come up with one as i think but i just wanted to say you are one of the most genuine kind people i've ever got to witness the way you've taken your fame and turned it into a betterment not only for yourself but for the community you've created is so admirable and i don't know what you're going through right now but whenever you're ready just know that we're all here to support you through it and hearing about what you go through is not only helpful to us but we care about you anyways my question is what are you doing right now to take care of

yourself during all of this hi you are this is you guys are so sweet this is why i love doing what i do and also like cultivating what we have here because we are very supportive of one another rights wrongs ups downs and i think that's what even online or not that's what we all owe each other is just like kindness and compassion and i'm glad that we have been able to show it to each other because you do never know what somebody's going through but i love you guys so much that your words mean the world to me i think this goes hand in hand with another question i got which was someone asked me um what is your depression anxiety action plan so i'm gonna tell you guys what realistically i have been implementing in my life and maybe what you can

be doing number one is i knew something was going wrong and i knew i needed help so immediately i'm seeking out a new therapist um i think it's important to have a good therapist you can trust that's kind of been a process i'm going through right now i kind of hit a wall with one and then i was like uh finding another one hard difficult yes hard difficult but you need it so i'm in the process of finding a new therapist right now um and either hopefully you know getting off the medication that's causing it or also maybe getting on a medication that can help how i'm feeling either way i don't mind a little pilly to make myself feel better as long as it's prescribed by a doctor anyways so seeking help and also like when it comes to seeking help being honest to

the people in my life how i'm doing um when i'm feeling bad and then i keep going on in life as if things are okay I find myself feeling worse because I'm pretending and pretending never feels good especially if you're pretending to feel okay when you're not it's like when you're like on the verge of tears and someone's like are you all right it's like yeah I'm doing great we don't need to be doing that okay so being honest with the people how you're feeling in your life hey I'm struggling I need help here hey I'm not doing great sorry if I can't be a good friend right now hey i am just like exhausted is it okay if i just chill the fuck out right now things like that being honest with who you are where you are what's going on it'll bring acceptance to your situation

and also kind of like with that comes peace and understanding and um hope for growth instead of like pretending pretending pretending and then all the walls fall down and you crash and break we don't that's just a lot to deal with on its own so let's avoid that learning to have fun and relax and chill it's okay if the laundry's not always done okay it's okay if you have like you know your house is a little bit of a mess and you don't have time to clean it it's okay if instead of you know making the bed this morning you want to wake up early and go sit on your front porch in the sun because it's beautiful it's all right to indulge in positive moments of life you don't always have to overwhelm yourself with the the necessities or the adult things that life brings you know

what I mean releasing control a little bit learning to relax getting off my fucking phone getting off my phone and most importantly with that time getting into art drawing sketching painting coloring you name it i have to get the fuck off my phone which includes setting real restrictions setting real boundaries i've never set real boundaries when it comes to my phone only doing a limited amount of time on tiktok setting other limits for other apps mostly only indulging in pinterest tumblr and instagram because i know i can only scroll for so long on those before i'm like all right i'm bored let me go do something more important with my time also if I am like laying in bed end of the night scrolling vibes and I am scrolling I also take

incremental breaks of like okay I scrolled for a little bit now let me pull up my little drawing app and I'm gonna draw for a little bit and then I'll go back and then I'll go back and forth but I'm still doing something and giving my brain little rest and breaks in between I also do that with reading okay I scrolled for five minutes now we're gonna go read a chapter usually once you start with the positive thing you forget about the negative thing and you indulge more in the book that's how I finished books and completely one night sure I stayed up all night reading it but also it's like oh I stayed up all night reading how fun I'm not forgetting to like eat and hydrate myself sometimes when you get so fucking depressed it's hard to implement the big things even as like

washing your hair or dressing up sometimes you just start with a very base level understanding of being a human such as making sure I'm drinking enough water oh my god spironolactone was drying me the fuck out to be fair accutane does the same exact thing but spironolactone i i could not drink enough water to feel like i was keeping up with this drug please make sure you're drinking enough water your brain needs it so it can function so you aren't feeling depressed yes being dehydrated will make you feel bad making sure i'm eating enough food instead of being like oh my god i worked all morning and i did all these things and i only had caffeine girl yeah your organs are failing we need some fiber we need some i don't know scrambled eggs the very least like

get something good and nourishing in your body make sure you're even just like eating snacks to make sure you can sustain that energy and feel full and comfortable throughout the day i love indulging in food food is so important and especially making sure you're eating like a good amount of food getting out of my house i know it's so hard especially with like the end of winter we just had like a little mini snowstorm come through kansas city it wasn't even snow it was like hail the size of like peas and it did that for like an hour it was so odd it wasn't even cold enough to freeze but it like sleeted all day and it's like oh okay I don't want to get out of the house but we need to go do something so like let's go get food at the

very least instead of just like eating in or ordering food here going and getting it coming home and eating let's at least just like go out and be in public for a little bit um even if it's just like okay I'm gonna go get my oil changed fuck it I'm getting in my car I'm driving to go get something done I'm going to yoga if it is nice if it's a beautiful day out oh my god I'm gonna go to the park for the first time in a long time and I'm gonna go on a walk getting out of the house is important switching up your routine a little bit is important and last but not least dream you gotta dream you gotta dare to dream especially when the now sucks you can at least be like well the future will be better like sometimes it really is just like that where

your like temporary pain for long-term gain babe like let's focus on us right now because that will help us get closer to the future we desire you got a dream whether it's mood boarding i love pinterest i use pinterest as if it's like one big mood board of my life um same thing with like tumblr i feel like it's online scrapbooking even things that like i'm indulging on instagram on the explore page or like saving it's things that i'm inspired by or curious by or things that bring up hope or inspiration I really do try and use it like that all of those things really have been helping me incredibly and if you need to come up with your own depression plan for yourself I highly recommend doing so I feel like this is something they also taught me when I was in the

psych ward it was like know your triggers know what pisses you the fuck off and also like know your good coping mechanisms know what works to make you feel better maybe you don't have time energy for yoga but have we brushed our teeth have we washed our hair have we taken care of ourself and made a good yummy meal for ourself you know you got to be aware of our habits aware of what makes us tick aware of what makes us feel good so then we're able to move forward in the future and if you haven't made a little like feel better plan or get well soon plan or depression plan highly recommend doing so someone asked help it feels like everything is going wrong how can i make myself more lucky to the universe i told you i wanted to talk about luck i told you

i wanted to talk about like you know bringing in more positive fun things into your life and just like that energetic exchange with the universe um and i feel like there's been some conversation recently especially on like i guess you could call it social media i like lucky girl syndrome lucky girl syndrome honestly i recognized it when i saw a video of some girl saying every day I wake up and I go outside and I look up into the sky and I close my eyes and I say universe show me how good it can get and it really is that like quick perspective change of like everything becomes a blessing when you are receiving it from the universe as a gift instead of just like going through the motions of life and naturally maybe that does draw more positive

things to you because you're in a more relaxed and receiving mindset you're also looking out for more good things but i love that conversation started because i love when discourse happens on the internet and it's like yes thank god something positive last thing we're gonna fucking talk about here is like looks maxing like oh my god how about luck maxing can we luck max okay i'm i'm ready to step into my like receiver in joyful princess of the universe kind of energetic level of just like living with life and loving alongside it go ahead and take that hammer and smash in your fucking jaw in hopes of it getting wider i choose not to participate and if you don't know what i'm talking about congratulations you you don't need to be you don't need to look into it that's another

realization i'm having we don't have to know about everything you know anyways let's get back to bring more luck into your life so step number one in the like scientific method of you know learning how to behave in the world observation right i have found myself recently surrounded by some very lucky people and if you find yourself in that place don't get jealous because that's gonna block your luck immediately and not clapping for people will never have people clapping for you you know let's focus on uplifting ourself and uplifting everybody else around you and especially if you find yourself around people who seem like um everything goes right for them they have a positive attitude with life it's something that you should observe and take after

you know um recently i found myself surrounded by a few people and they both have different ways they behave but the amount of like connections and random happenstances and positions that they are in life they chalk up to simply being luck i was in the right place i talked to the right person i approached in this way we were in the same city whatever it happened to be they think you know gift from the universe but honestly the more i watch them participate and interact with the world around them the more i realize no their behaviors are what's getting that for them but it's in a very healthy way it's not like they're manipulating or doing this on purpose to kind of like change people's perspective with bad intentions they're just good people they truly

are just good people and they open themselves up to the world around you so one person that i'm thinking of she kind of works in the same realm as me you know social media and um she's always running into people who are like oh my god i love your energy i i just like love how you're existing i feel drawn to that and thus i want to like spend time with you or gift this to you or have this connection with you and that attraction isn't coming from her wearing the latest trends or from her looking weirder than everybody else around her so she has to stand out or um maybe closing herself off so she looks mysterious there's no intentionality behind it other than she is just a thousand percent herself she is one thousand percent herself she doesn't know how to be

anybody else but herself and whether that's herself when she's hung over herself when she's tired herself when she's her brightest happiest you know all of those different um experiences look very different from like an outside perspective but she's always herself and there is something so moth to flame like about meeting an individual that knows who they are and is comfortable and who they are no matter how it looks or how they present the coolest cool girls you think it girl i'm talking it girl who has made a name for herself who is like gonna be in the fashion history books for hundreds of thousands of years they are not conforming to trends pretending to be someone else um putting on like this mask or facade facade in any sort of way

they are just following their intuition and being who they are i truly believe individuality in humans is so important and especially when it comes to luck and drawing in like positive interactions or um positive happenstances being yourself will up the chances of that happening by a thousand percent and you might be scared you might be like well what if me being myself means that everybody around me hates me you know maybe i live in a place where that's not going to be receptive maybe you know I dye my hair blue and people don't like the color but I don't know you know it's like maybe I'm not received well to the world around me well that means people are gonna know they don't like you and they're not gonna interact with you and thus on like a

mathematic percentage level the interactions that you have will mostly and honestly always be with people who are going to be well receptive to how individually and perfectly weird you are you know you're not going to be interacting with people who don't like that because they can obviously see it and they're probably not going to interact with you does that close off some interactions yeah but also it's like would you really want to have that kind of like connection or interaction with a person that is not going to like you for truly being who you are our self-expression and our personal identity is so important and we can only find that within ourselves and of course to find that within ourselves comes from experiencing living trying new things making mistakes just

intuitively following following what we need in that moment or want in that moment whether it's an outfit a hairstyle a way you want to dress yourself a place you want to go being yourself does increase your luck does increase your chances of meeting people does increase your opportunities and as well as heightens the way you are received to the world around you I think for a long time I haven't really allowed myself to be 100,000% myself of course like there's two jail bars in front of me girl you can walk in between them like the cages of my own making but also it's kind of like a thought process that i'm trying to unlearn of just allowing myself to be confidently me and it's gonna be a little awkward at first you know it's

gonna feel a little weird it's gonna feel a little um uncomfortable i saw someone say recently that if you help a butterfly escape its cocoon you it ultimately will end up like disfigured and like not able to comfortably be the butterfly that it's supposed to be the process of growth and change and transformation is uncomfortable that cocoon gets tight you know it takes a while to get your wings perfectly grown it's it's weird it's awkward when you're stuck in that cocoon but it's necessary in order for you to flourish and become the beautiful person you're supposed to be once you emerge from your cocoon so like there is no quick fix to these things other than just being patient with yourself and listening to your intuition listening to what calls to you in every form of

this life it will increase your luck and it's something that i will be leaning into this march and hopefully every single day going forward now another thing that i have found from someone in my life when it comes to like lucky syndrome of being very lucky in this life openness to connection there's someone in my life that is way older than me and i'm actually learning a lot from him he is teaching me a lot about just like um the artistic perspective of the world and learning to have some fun and also like how important connections can be and how authentic connections can be i think when it comes to the whole idea of networking okay in all honesty the term networking is transactional because you're going into it with a very specific intention and you're hoping for a

very specific intentional outcome i think energetically people can feel that interaction being fake oh you do what uh this oh that that's why when it's like oh you meet a person they ask you what do you do for work it feels very odd because it's like why are you prying um you know why is that the only thing that's interesting about me and it feels transactional you know you're like what's i'm more than just my job or whatever it may be networking i hate networking i've never felt comfortable with networking it's something i've been very against because it just feels wrong it feels wrong in my body i don't like that kind of energy at all his type of networking which honestly i wouldn't even consider it networking he just loves making human connection

if you are open to connection and conversation and getting to know people your luck will increase by a thousand like exponentially i'm not even kidding you know if you're not open to the connections and the gifts that life has for you how are you ever going to receive it you know maybe it comes from a person maybe it comes from a connection maybe it comes from being in a situation that someone recommended whatever it may be the gifts that life is giving you you will receive more if you're open to just like the real and raw connection of human to human understanding and getting to know each other on a very human level every single person if he sees someone that he's like they seem interesting or even not it doesn't matter it's just like if something piques

his interest he will stop and talk to that person oh what's your name oh thank you for being here oh it's nice to see you where are you from what are you doing what are your interests like who are you on a human level he's very curious he's very inquisitive and has that made him a very successful individual yes because he's approachable he's kind he's compassionate he's inquisitive he wants to genuinely get to know people and thus comes many connections thus comes many gifts that life is giving them many situations that he's put in that are very beneficial i think social media has made us less interactive on an individual level because we're afraid of like how we're going to be received or why or what or like the perception of it all when in reality to get to

know ourselves to be comfortable in ourselves to make connections to you know find inspiration on a human level to up our luck we have to be confident enough and compassionate enough to get to know each other human to human to make those connections to spark up a random conversation to give a compliment you never know where it'll take you and also even if all it gives you is wow i had a good interaction with somebody today you know that other person is leaving with that too and thus you're in a very good positive energetic place you don't always have to take take take take take from interactions oh i must gain something from this in order to have it be meaningful no sometimes like the most meaningful things that happen in my day are like oh I spent 45 minutes

talking with some random grandma in the grocery store and it just reminded me of like how excited I am to like get old sometimes that's all the gift is but something so simple can also be something so amazing and profound and uplift your life in such an amazing way so don't be afraid to be yourself a hundred percent to connect with people on a human level to open yourself up to that and last but not least there's another girl in my life who yes she's herself hundred percent yes she's always open to um like conversations and meeting people and connecting with people um just in like a very hopeful and honest way of just like yes i want to be a positive impact on whoever is in front of me but also she's kind of batshit fucking insane and she'll do anything

she'll do anything she'll try anything she'll you know oh this person wants to go get coffee fuck it like let me go get coffee oh i i really want to move here fuck it i'm gonna move here or i want to go to this party i'm gonna go to this but she's impulsive and sometimes impulsiveness can be a negative and honestly sometimes negatives are positives depending on the way you look at it and what you can take from that experience but she's impulsive she tries everything she puts herself out there she does not give a fuck like how she's perceived because she's moving in a way that is very like positive energetically she's not like a rage baiter online you know she's just like oh what's the worst you can say no cool what's the worst i can do fail who cares there's

always something you can learn from that but it's like the slot machine of life i've talked about before the more you're willing to put yourself out there and try and try and try and try the more pennies you're putting in the penny slot machine and the bigger outcome you could possibly have the more your opportunities to win come forth and guess what you don't have to work a shift to make those pennies all you have to do is try you know what i mean all you have to do is put yourself out there to be brave to be yourself to simply take a risk you never know what will come from it and even me personally some of the biggest things that i've experienced in life have come from me being like fuck it i just need to try i just need to try i know i want it i know i'm curious about it

If I don't get it, I don't give a fuck. But like, I just need to try. I owe it to myself to try. Sometimes the biggest experience, best experiences, most lucky, you know, opportunities I've had in my life have come from that. And I really encourage you guys, no matter what it is, put yourself out there, try, experience life around you, connect with humans, be yourself. It will ultimately make this experience here so much more, this experience in life so much

more exquisite and yes your luck will increase honestly honestly now the witchy side of myself is screaming at you so of course i have to give you guys some like last minute little like good luck medallions tips tricks if you want a good crystal green adventurine is fantastic for bringing good luck jade has been used for prosperity and well-being citrine if you can find it is fantastic for like abundance and luck to the owner if you want this like um month you can make like a good luck bag that you can carry in your purse i love a luck bag you know what actually i'll make like a spiritual recipe for you guys and post it on the patreon so stay tuned for that even like different cultures you see like the lucky cat i got this in japan on my trip i

needed one we went to like the lucky cat temple and it's fantastic for like good fortune it can also like attract money four leaf clovers i remember growing up and we would sit in beds of clovers for hours and hours and hours looking for just like one four leaf clover and then we would always like take it to my mom's school and laminate it and then my parents always said like if you have it in your pocket for a year if you put it in your wallet for a year it brings you like a whole year of good luck little things like that they really do have a good impact and they're fun to just like have on you or like little charms little things to kind of like remind you of not only the luck that you can bring into your life that you're hoping to bring in your life and

also maybe it can be just like a little remembrance of oh yes this is how I need to be moving through the world as myself open to the world around me and willing to look for the good in it all Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family

to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery

and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. all someone asked thank you so much for your last episode it made me feel so incredibly seen when you're in this in-between phase how do i actually know what i want to do next i feel that a lot of the times when i'm in an in-between stage it is kind of like a end of a chapter in a sense where you're like yay i did it but now what the fuck do i do next like oh my god i am the character in the

novel and also the writer that's a lot of pressure that's a lot of pressure okay but also like how beautiful i'm the character in the novel and also i'm the writer i could make this life however i want perspective shift babe i talk about dreaming a lot i think dreaming is very important i spent a lot of my time dreaming if my parents were ever going to um parent teacher conferences which i always went to with them so i knew exactly what the fuck my teachers were saying about me um yes i want to be there say it to my face don't say it behind my back anyways they would always say a hannah is daydreaming a lot i will a she's a fantastic student love her down yes academic validation second of all she's daydreaming a lot i find her like nodding out or like staring off

into space or like on her phone too much reading fan fiction they never said that out loud but that is truly what i was doing i was daydreaming a lot sure it might have been like um i was just probably fucking bored in school who isn't you know and so I'm trying to like go off to this distant land but also like my dreams are also always better than reality so why would I not dream a little bit and when you're so young you only have so much control of your life so there's a lot of time to dream and not a lot of time to act but once you become an adult you realize there's a lot of time to act and not a lot of time to dream so we need to pick up that habit of daydreaming a little bit and also utilize what is so beautiful about adulthood which is

the opportunities to act on our dreams we can make whatever we want a reality sometimes it's just hard to decide no matter who you are you will find yourself in a place where you're like in that in-between stage of what the fuck do i do next do i move to paris do i go off and become a novelist do i become a painter who lives in the wilderness do i become a doctor do i go back to school and learn how to do pottery do I volunteer at an animal shelter do I go work at a national park for seven months do I you know sell all of my belongings and backpack across the country who knows like literally sometimes we're faced with this opportunity of like there's so many different things I want to do but what what do I do step number one you have to dream you have to

have that flow of consciousness of like I could do this or I could do this you have to think about yourself in a position where if money wasn't an issue if time wasn't an issue if you didn't have anything holding you back if your slate was wiped clean if you were given a billion fucking dollars to do anything you wanted to do there was no stressors in the world what would you do write those things down those things are important those are things that you feel called to and called to for a very specific reason you know even if it is so grandeur and wild and crazy it doesn't matter write them down now once you have all those things written down it can feel very daunting to have to pick one i'm telling you you don't have to pick one you have to try each thing out i talk about

this like euphemism of life of like trying different things on in life is like trying on a different pair of pants one will be too long one will be too like wide one will be the wrong feel of denim one will be the wrong color of denim one will be like a little bit too tight eventually you'll find your right pair of jeans but how will you know what you feel comfortable in unless you try different things out oh you want to move to Paris maybe you plan a little week-long trip you fly out there you see if you actually enjoy it you try it on for a size you you don't commit fully because that can feel very daunting and scary and yeah what if you fail so let's try it on let's see if the pants fit oh you want to go work in a national park for

six months i mean that's not a huge commitment but like maybe let's go to the national park first let's talk to the people who work there let's do some research let's see if we actually enjoy hiking and you know committing to that as much as you really feel oh you want to be a painter okay let's start painting let's try and do one painting a month you see what i'm saying sometimes in life the commitment can feel very grand and scary because it feels so big like it's a big decision you don't have to commit you just have to try and see if you like it you just have to feel it out oh i want to become a yoga yoga instructor okay let me go take a bunch of yoga classes maybe then i commit to a certification maybe then you become a yoga instructor maybe

then you become your own practice you see how it starts like elevating off of simply trying and then it grows into that big grandeur dream you started with that seems so far away trying is step number one you have to see if the pants fit if it works for you because who knows in your head it might seem like oh fantastic running away to the woods having no one talk to me other than the animals and then you're like damn I really fucking love my phone and I love interacting with people let's start with a week in the woods without the phone first before you completely blow up your life you know you've got to take that pressure off yourself and you have to commit to the the joyfulness and the playfulness of life that is experiencing it and trying

different things out i love meeting somebody who's like oh yeah i did this for a little bit and then i tried this and that they lived so many different lives because they committed to the aspect of living life and trying things eventually yes they settled into what felt good for them no matter what it looked like or maybe they got the big things out of the way so they could enjoy a chill calm life who knows everybody lives life so differently but you won't know what you like until you go out there and try and here's like a very simple comparison i spent a lot of my teenage years surrounded by people who like really loved raves and i know this sounds like so dumb of a comparison but it really is this simple so many people in my life loved raves and

I've always like oh raves are so dumb like there's nothing there's no meaning to the music like oh it doesn't matter it's so lame lasers and drugs and then I went to a rave and I wasn't even on molly or anything I was just like drinking and around people and I realized that it wasn't about the sure it's about the music it's about whatever but it was about the community about being around people who are into like-minded things who are enjoying who are committed to having a good time that's what was so enjoyable about them and having all these preconceived notions really did make me think oh i'm gonna hate this thing and then until i tried it i realized wow i love this i love this it's amazing i love this experience and yeah sometimes trying to figure out if you want to

be a novelist is as easy as trying to see if you like rave music or not by going to a singular rave oh you want to see if you can write a novel let's start with chapter one or let's start with chapter 10 it doesn't matter let's start with character like figuring out our characters or mapping out the novel try it out try it out see if it works for you you will get further simply trying than thinking could ever get you you never know what will work you never know what will work and you owe it to yourself 80 year old 80 oh my god i keep saying 80 i want to live past 80 however old you are on your deathbed you know thinking over your life you owe it to them i think about that experience a lot i've also been saving a lot of grandma images on my mood boards because

i look forward to being her so much i really do but it's kind of like you have to live for your future self in hopes of your future self sure you don't know who they are because that's the beauty of this life is developing into that person you don't know who that is until you become them but you owe it to that person to try and put yourself on the best track by experiencing everything you possibly can in this life dare to dream babe you really can make anything you want become a reality i promise you i really do promise you i'm a girl who sits up here on a podcast and chit chats online like i wasn't even doing this for money for a long time not that i'm only doing it for money but it's also like i was like fuck it let me try let me try and start a podcast it's

something i'm curious about and i love it i love it and i never would have known unless i simply put myself out there hi queen hope you're doing well um and feeling more peaceful than you have in the last couple weeks i'm a third year in college and i've been struggling a lot with procrastination and burnout all of a sudden and i was talking to my friend who also listens to the pod so shout out to her hopefully she's listening to this um but she told me that something that really works for her to curb procrastination is to go through your camera roll and look at pictures of your mother your grandmother all the women who came before you who did not have as much freedom and opportunity as you did so that you can look at them and take

advantage of the freedom and opportunity you have now and i just love that so i really wanted to shared with the girlies out there who are also struggling with procrastination i did that i looked at those pictures and like damn i was on my laptop like typing away but yeah that's it love you hope you have a great week no i jaw on the floor because why have i not thought of that that about that you are they're so right they're so right sometimes it is so simple we really do get in our head about things you know especially me babe okay overthinker yeah we're doing that to the max over here not wanting to do things not wanting to do good things for myself yeah i like to avoid it like the plague i don't know why i don't know why it's just easier i guess but it

really is that simple sometimes of just like no you owe it to them and also through them you owe it to yourself I'm like the first woman in my life to not have kids at this age think about that think about that in probably my entire lineage I am the first woman to not have that I know of have children at this age or be married yeah yup yeah I'm sure they're like failure failure just kidding I mean that's what my grandma's like she's like where's the wedding ring I'm like ma'am i'm just living life okay i do not need a wedding to be uplifted and supported i need to go on vacation i need to go to different countries and experience the world but also it was like never an option for them so they never thought about that it's crazy that's incredible that's

also like maybe the power of a lock screen will really do it so like you set that as your lock screen so every time you pick up your phone to even procrastinate you're like and the phone's going fucking down this is also why I think it's important to have people you look up to and get inspired by um something that actually I'm going to start integrating as a part of like my um just overall perspective of life and just getting into learning a little bit more I love a cool girl I talk about it it girl I love the history of them and just learning about different cool girls of our generation and so I think every like four months every quarter every season whatever you want to think about every semester I'm going to commit to kind of like falling in love and

deeply researching like a really cool individual a person that inspires me and learning about their history learning about who made them who they are what inspires them what they created out of that I think it really does kind of like having these inspirations in your life whether alive or not here or not whatever you feel inspired by a person you feel inspired by it's so important to have those things so you realize why you do it and why it's important for you how you know dedication can pay off how opportunity is present and you need to take um advantage of it how you need to be living life to your fullest and whatever aspect inspires you it's so important to have that and yeah i'm hoping to share that with you guys i've been sharing a lot on the patreon more than

i ever really have i'm starting to do like um monthly inspirations things i'm feeling called to different it girls that i'm inspired by sharing it with you guys tarot readings monthly book club i'm sharing a lot there but i love that piece of advice and thank you for sharing i love you guys so much i can't wait to hang out with you guys next week if you ever want to see more from me sorry this is a little short i just got a lot on my plate to do hopefully it was a dose of inspiration you needed but i answer every single question on my patreon patreon only episodes are usually like two to three hours long they're so fun we get raw we get real we have a laugh we have a good time come join patreon.com smoke says shawty you also get all the other things i talked

about so if you need community if you need inspiration if you need journal prompts if you need things to look forward to things that i'm inspired by come join i share all of my life there honestly if you want to see my vlogs hannah merlene 444 on youtube if you want to submit your call-ins or messages whatever you have on your mind at hannah merlene on instagram and with that being said stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on September 19th join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of

life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.