Smoke Sesh - making friends, pussy talk & intuition vs anxiety

Episode Date: July 8, 2025

happy Tuesday everyone! today is a bit of a crazy episode but I'm excited to be back with you all, we talk what I've been up to, women problems, ovarian cysts, anger, love island updates, p^ssy size and lip.. insecurity and do people care what it looks like down there? making friends as an adult, holding conversations, lustful men and distrust, overthinking and constantly observing yourself, letting yourself be, how much weed is too much, should you move for your bf? soft breakups and leaving the relationship before its over, sucking it and being in control, Capricorn full moon updates and what to expect, role-play in the bedroom and putting on a performance, having pets, pet insurance and is it worth it? plus my pet health journey, new content coming out, how to keep your nails healthy when you get them done, cheating in relationships and blame, tracking location, intuition vs anxiety and learning what your body and brain are telling you plus much much much more! if you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and watch the weekly vlogs on YouTube! love you and chat soon! MUAH!

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations,

more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello my sexy girls welcome back to another fun little episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and i'm so excited to be back with you all this week you

guys i'm losing my fucking mind i don't know girl talk girl talk girl drama talk i'm losing my fucking mind i don't know if it's listen there's a lot of things going on i don't know if i'm just like i need to switch my life up i'm like bored of my life i need newness i need change i don't know if it's like oh my god my life's not fulfilling enough actually scratch that my life is very fulfilling and it's because of you guys so thank you for listening every single week you truly give me just so much hope and inspiration for the world around us like wow what a safe space i don't know if it's because we're in mercury retrograde pre-shadow phase we are about to enter a mercury retrograde usually i am mentally prepared for the chaos but i fear if i face as

much chaos as i did last mercury retrograde i am due for a severe severe crash out i don't know if it's also because we have a full moon coming up and full moons always fuck me up like big time you know there's a lot of things happening there's a lot of things going on at least we have this podcast to blow off some steam have a little laugh and at least maybe crash out together but your girl is wow feeling truly every emotion possible at this point in time it also could be because of where i am in my period i listen i sat down to get freak nasty with my boyfriend the other day okay hannah is one glass of wine deep okay ready to go out to dinner ready to have a fun little night off with my boyfriend like you know what let's get the fucking out of the way

early i'm not me two minutes into this podcast let's get the sex out of the way early not like out of the way but here's the thing when I'm going to have sex I am not going to have it post steak baked potato wine dessert dinner that's not happening I fear I physically cannot fit anything else inside me what do you mean you then want to have me swinging from the rafters onto that d it's not gonna happen that is just chaos waiting so in my brain I'm always like well let's just have sex before we go do going out to eat going somewhere wherever it may be so then you know we're in that like little euphoria we're able to have a good time we're able to eat and then afterwards i can come home and go the fuck to sleep well we get into bed

we do our little thing we have a good time and I feel quite literally a pop what you may be asking a pop that doesn't sound right yeah because it's not right in fact I genuinely believe I had an ovarian cyst rupture during sexual intercourse because I stood up after sex and i was like oh you know that was a little painful but i stood up and genuinely felt my knees give out as if i was going to pass out on the fucking floor and i have not had uterine pain like that since like i first started getting periods where my cramps would be so bad i genuinely thought i was going to die so that was fun that also kind of pissed me off because what the fuck what the fuck i'm just a girl who's trying to have a good ass time

enjoy some good sex take care of myself make sure you know that me and my partner are bonding and i'm going to experience the most extreme pain i've ever felt in my entire life that's a scam that's a scam what the actual fuck what pisses me off more is like when i went to go get my ultrasound at my ob-gyn they're like oh yeah those are some pretty large cysts not super large but but big enough that's why you're probably feeling that pain and i was like okay so what do we do about that oh nothing they kind of just come and go what do you mean if men had a deal with fucking golf ball sized ovarian cysts growing in their ball sacks there would be a procedure a pill a something pain medication at the very least but no women they're just like i don't know

it's just gonna be painful good luck great great thank you thank you so i'm also kind of a bitch right now because i've been trying to eat healthy oh shit oh that's the biggest way to make me a bitch when i want a burger and i'm forced to eat fucking roasted cauliflower i want to strangle everybody around me but i fear that when i eat healthy ew consequences of my actions when i eat healthy i do feel better and my ovarian cysts don't hurt as much what the fuck what the fuck it's like when your therapist is like are you working out you should be working out it'll make you happier and you're like no and they're like well you need to work out oh then you go work out and you do feel better oh my god oh my god something about adulting where it's like as I

grow up my old really bad behaviors I'm slowly starting to replace with good behaviors and not in the name of self-care mostly in the name of spite and mostly in the name of if I don't do something I'm gonna lose my goddamn mind so it's like instead of going out and drinking until I fucking die on the concrete outside of the club I'm going to make sure I take my vitamins and drink my water and do my skincare routine at night I'm like supplementing the bad with the good kind of like a different addiction addiction to self-care perhaps because wow I can't afford to live that lifestyle anymore it was physically killing me but also oh my god taking care of myself kind of sucks it does make me feel better actually it really does it truly does i had my

little chia seed yogurt pudding this morning feeling good having my little hemp milk latte and yeah i'm hoping that today turns around and i'm able to have a chill day but my god that pain was genuinely wowie wow wow wow yep wow womanhood am i right ladies but i don't have much to catch you guys up on I haven't really been up to much lately except I did upload another vlog yes I am uploading weekly vlogs on my vlog channel I had someone ask me why do you have two YouTube channels it's because I want one just for the podcast and then I do want one just for the vlogs I don't know in my brain that seems right to me for some reason so here where you're listening to this on youtube if you are listening to it on youtube on spotify love you spotify

girlies thank you for listening and thank you for listening to the ads it truly doesn't mean the world but on youtube my vlog channel is at hannah marlene four four four yes four four four and i just uploaded a cherry tart cherry crumble recipe basically a baked and baking long form cook with me chaos cooking vlog it was fun i had a good time i did upload it early for the patreon girlies so if you do want to see the vlogs early i usually upload them on wednesday for the patreon girlies i've been uploading them on sunday for everybody else but i kind of feel like sunday's a bad day so i might start doing fridays i'm not sure we'll figure it out either way it's uploaded towards the end of the week for everybody else but if you want to come join the patreon get extra vlogs early

get patreon exclusive podcasts and much much much more i will be uploading a full moon write-up probably tomorrow for you all to prepare it's on thursday this week um but yeah we do a lot of fun things over there and i love my patreon girlies they truly keep me running and functioning and keep this podcast running and functioning which is even better patreon.com slash smoke says shawty also a lot of you guys have been asking me about my new makeup routine as well as my hair routine the curls the curls you guys were like the curls were amazing that is not my natural hairstyle but i will be uploading a tutorial as well as a bake my face you know beat my face makeup routine vlog this week that's going to be the vlog this week and if you have any vlogs you want to see from me

let me know i'm happy to provide you guys know i'm a provider oh and last thing to catch up with you guys which is so so so so exciting you guys have been practically begging begging begging begging we need a bong restock we need a fairy bong restock well ask and you shall receive we finally have the fairy bongs um that have been shipped here they finally got delivered from um where canna style has them created their warehouse and so they will be restocked let me pull up my calendar make sure you go sign up for that restock notification but they will be restocked not this week but next week on thursday july 17th they will be restocked bright and early in the morning what we are going to do is i will put up a post on instagram so put on those post notifications

my instagram is at hannah marlene if you're not following me what are you doing come follow me we have so much fun over there and they will also be sending out a restock notification at the same exact time it is limited quantity it is not as much as we did last time so if you would like one get one now we did restock in the pink color only because that color went so freaking fast but should we celebrate should we smoke a little bit it's been a while since i smoked with you guys in this podcast and i miss it i've been getting back into weed lately you guys i don't know if it's been just like a dissociation technique from my anger i'm also my luteal phase there's something about the luteal phase where it's like my boobs hurt my body hurts i'm angry my body's angry at

me that i'm not pregnant there's just a lot of hormones going on in me i've been raging at things that i just don't deserve my rage so to settle that down i have been smoking more often so why don't we smoke together i miss it let's let's hit this shit bitch ignore the dirty water like i said i do use and abuse her she is so good to me she treats me so well and she smokes so well um please do not pick her up by the wings she is delicate like us girlies um i always have a good grip on this bitch so i don't drop her or lose her and canna style updated how they're shipping it they got custom made styrofoam so instead of wrapping it in bubble wrap they're they got custom made styrofoam so hopefully there's maybe less breakage during shipping but if you have any problems you

can just email them they are the best i love canna style they are so helpful customer service wise but if you would like your own little fairy bong restock and i think maybe the last restock so get it while you can cheers girls two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else

follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. like I said I have been in big self-care mode um you know what I might be so angry because I canceled therapy last week I was busy I didn't have time but maybe I shouldn't cancel therapy noted noted anyways I um whenever I just feel like wow down and out about the world and myself like I said I've been supplementing with self-care so I booked myself a facial this week I'm so

excited I'm so excited I'm trying to implement more activities into my adulthood life that get me excited to make me feel good about myself so like therapy weekly activities weekly girls nights um facials okay maybe massages also pause pause pause pause can we talk love island the girls have been begging practically begging can we talk love island i was gonna host a love island night in kansas city but they are just so incredibly busy that it's like you don't even need an mc there's people smushed in that building like sardines but i went to love island night last week and i'll be going again today tuesday oh my god girlhood that is true sisterhood right there everybody's screaming and yelling at tvs especially about men i love it fantastic i want

to do this every single fucking night but there are so many people there it was so busy it was so packed and i have never had more fun in my entire life so if you need something to do this week especially since the last week of love island go to a love island i'm sure there's somebody hosting one in your area like i i literally promise you there's someone hosting one in your area but don't ask me which couple i want to win i kind of hate every couple the only person i'm obsessed with and love and i know you have good taste if you're like i love this sweetie pie is miss amaya papaya get her out my villa and give her the hundred thousand dollars now now i'm practically begging you she deserves it more than anybody else on that fucking show she is so sweet

so kind so genuine and the exact reputation the weeds getting to my brain representation that we need on a live television event that is about finding love because all these other people here it's like such a good representation of the current dating scene where people are closed off for like I really like you but I'm not sure I want to keep my options open but I said I like you what do you mean you're not being exclusive for me but I'm going to be exclusive for you like weird mind games and they should not call it love island they should really be calling it situationship island miss amaya papaya truly is herself she is real she is raw she's not afraid to cry on live television or let people know that she loves them and that's what we need in the

dating scene we need more of that and i argue if you are that girl if you are in the dating scene who are you are yourself you are a lover girl you are actually looking for a genuine connection don't let these crazy people get you down don't let the insane closed off men get you down because you deserve that prince charming that's going to take care of you understand you see you and support you for who you are my sensitive girlies deserve the world truly and miss amaya papaya is the winner of my villa if i was in charge but we'll see we'll see next week would be a fun recap but yes instead of being stressed out about life and stressed out about myself and stressed out about a reality television show i've been supplementing with self-care as much as i can

because I do think in general life lesson here ladies it is important to show yourself love as much as you possibly can okay don't rely on another person to show you love show yourself some always every day I will always look for an excuse to love on myself because she deserves it more than anybody else I know with that being said though come on now bitch enough rambling let's get into all of your questions I have a lot to get through today I think I have we had like 1500 questions submitted this week 1500 questions is insane thank you guys so much so many new people keep finding this podcast as well welcome happy to have you you joined at the perfect time i'm uploading so much fucking content so get your fill in girls but let's get into it

oh my god this is gonna sound so dumb but dot dot dot dot i'm so insecure about how my pussy looks dot dot dot dot dot no not the sad emojis girl don't don't be i do think there's something to be said about like i talk about like awareness of your body and i feel like when we're not just like aware of it in a neutral sense then it's kind of like a jump scare so like if you're just not aware of what it looks like down there sure whatever it may look like could be a jump scare because you've never fucking seen it before so i do encourage women to be aware of what they look like duh but i do not think it should come from a judgmental sense ever ever ever ever ever genuinely if that man woman whoever they are is down there and not just happy as fuck to be down there

then they should not be down there there is no way in hell there are people down there like oh my god she looks weird or oh my god it looks weird what do you mean it looks weird it's a sex sex organ organ organ of course gonna look a little odd or weird duh but that doesn't mean like bad hello there's no bad pussies there is no bad pussies and i hate that there is even discourse online about people's sex organs because that's like so fucked up what do you mean there is discourse about what a sex organ looks like that's crazy to me are you fucking kidding me all pussies are beautiful put that on a t-shirt my bush my rules i think sometimes we are our own worst critics and it's very easy to nitpick small things about ourselves but also that will

turn you into a shell of a human being and an individual and genuinely the more you start to look at yourself from like a neutral and love viewpoint the easier time you will have but listen my innies my outies my half and halves my whoever you may be I love you no matter fucking what and here's the thing I think if anybody is even near you down there they should be on their hands and knees praying and thankful for even being able to get that close amen amen anyways if you wanted to know what mine looks like listen i'm an outie girl i am i'm an outie girl it is what it is who who cares who cares if you're not gonna spit and suck and slobber on it and go to town with that tongue then i don't want you down there i don't give a fuck how it looks as long as i'm

uncomfortable you don't actually real talk here you know the discourse that should be happening with pussies is why the fuck are people making bikinis with about one inch of space at the bottom hello hello even if you have the world's thinnest teeniest tiniest lips there is still the possibility that you're gonna get out of that pool and there is going to be a full lip hanging out and that is spooky spooky scary i don't give a fuck it's been discourse lately about like oh there's too many asses on the beach that is not a complaint anybody should be having listen and if it's about the children children aren't paying attention to that shit they don't give a fuck it's the weird ass adults that are sexualizing everybody around them america has a problem okay but the real

discourse we should have is not about the amount of fabric on the butt but the amount of fabric on the pussy lips can i give a shout out to my friend real quick sydney mary bikini she is the first like bikini that i've ever tried on that i was like there's gonna be no slip ups here we're gonna have a good time the girls are safe and secure there's not gonna be a lip hanging out as i get out of the water or a jump scare for anybody out here there is only comfortability going on and i am so thankful for her for that shout out to my girl she makes the best bikinis but i have bought many a bikini in my life i have bought designer bikinis i have bought practically 350 bikinis ask me why i don't know i was losing my mind obviously and had my debit card in my

hand it is what it is but just because that shit is as expensive as fuck doesn't mean it's actually good or quality and that goes with everything in life but sometimes those expensive as fuck bikinis have the teeniest tiniest little crotch area ever and i'm like girl i make so much money you can't spare a little bit of extra fabric not even like a couple centimeters of extra goddamn fabric here anyways if we're gonna complain about vaginas let's complain about fucking the pussy area on a bikini hello the girls need some room they need to be comfortable how to make new friends i'm in i'm new in my area i'm finding it hard love you oh i'll go to love island night like genuinely genuinely here's the thing to make any connection the connection has to start with

communication i don't make the rules it just is how we function as human beings it is my best friend's birthday today i love her endlessly see she is such a strong sensitive cancer girly and her biggest like one thing that i really admire about her and i think it's important to have friends that you admire qualities about them but one thing that i really admire about her is she can make a friend no matter where she goes and you know her recipe to making friends like she'll move to a whole different place she's a travel nurse she'll move to a whole different place she's like yeah i'm hanging out with this girl this day oh my god i met this this person here oh my gosh we're gonna go here we're gonna have a good time you know how she makes these

connections she's brave she goes somewhere alone she randomly strikes up a conversation with the girl next to her and it always turns it to yeah i'm new here like we should hang out you seem cool as fuck okay let's like yeah sure let's go do something here's my number all right let's plan something in the future now we're at buffalo wild wings eating endless buffalo wild wings and like having drinks then going out afterwards and now we're hanging out every week like that is literally every time she moves this happens to her and it genuinely blows my mind because it's like damn okay it really works it works being like a kind of outgoing person or just brave enough to speak up and be like your outfit's really cute girl like love your energy love your vibe that's

all it takes sparking conversation and then being brave enough to be like you seem cool as fuck we should hang out not being weird but like i'm new here i just need to make some friends let's do something that's all it takes it does take you being brave enough to get out of the house but like she's met people at the fucking smoke shop she's met people at the gas station she's met people at bars she's met people anywhere she goes she'd just be out and about hitting the town going place to place running errands and not being afraid to just like be a human being and strike up conversation now every conversation she makes is not like we need to be friends and if you're not my friend it's gonna hurt my feelings it's like no like let me just interact

with a stranger today you know what's definitely definitely lacking in the world right now and i think this is a symptom of covid i've noticed this specifically working in the customer service industry is that some people really lost the ability to talk to other people and i was definitely that person's like no no judgment no judgment if that is you you can break that habit don't worry but especially after being inside for so long we lost our genuine capability of being able to interact with people in the real world and i know this because i sometimes like will work my little host stand at work and my job is literally to talk to people and greet them like i am the first face you see in the restaurant okay i have people walk in don't make any eye contact with me i'm like oh

hey i can't just talk i contact whatever i'm bad at eye contact too but i'm like oh hey welcome my name's hannah how are you doing today table for two bitch what i don't see a reservation here named table for two it's a really interesting name i can't believe your mom gave you that but it's like whoa we're not used to having those small casual like niceties or conversations with people anymore because and i do think covid really broke that in us it broke that connection and other people we're just out of practice we're out of practice and listen if you do that i will judge you a little bit because like rude hello but also i'm like in the back of my head i'm like i get it i do get it and to get out of that you just have to practice it could be going to the

mcdonald's window and ordering being brave enough to order and leave like very simple it could be going to a bar and sitting at it alone there's this cute little bar in kansas city that's like a book bar like people go there to read books adorable please bring your book to that book bar and go sit at the bar alone and just like hang out maybe ask the bartender one question about themselves like how is your day very simple maybe it's going to a local meetup event okay a love island night a craft event an art event whatever it may be a concert and just being a person around other people sparking up conversations and if you don't know what to do in that conversation just compliment them it's so easy just compliment them just compliment them you can give every

person a compliment always always you can give every person a compliment there's something unique about every individual that is admirable and you can if you're a person who's aware of what's going on in the like around you you will be able to notice that and then verbalize it i promise you it's very easy to give compliments and it's a great way to break the ice and kind of show hey I'm trying to be a nice person here I'm trying to just like connect with you here and you know what sometimes you'll hit sometimes it'll be like oh thanks turns around it's okay don't look too much into your social interactions I think looking too much and being like almost like scrutinizing our social interactions really kills the vibe personally like even within myself

where I then become even more of a shell of an individual so if you can free yourself of the scrutiny and like if you get into that thought spiral of like oh my god but are were they thinking this about me like when they think this i misspeak blah blah girl i can barely pronounce a word on this podcast and i'm still like you know what whatever upload like do not think about it if you get in that thought spiral distract yourself go do something go on a walk process your thoughts journal it out so you're not sitting with that anxiety but please for the love of god get out there talk to your neighbors talk to new friends compliment each other show some love be a human being in the world interact you will find so many different beautiful people to interact with if

you're just brave enough to do so some of my most special interactions in this world have come from just sparking up conversations with random people around me we all have a lot more in common than you may think we're really not so different than each other what to do when your boyfriend is lusting over other women online leave him and this isn't even like a silly little funny oh my god you should leave him no like i think a lustful man is a dangerous man i think lustful people in general are dangerous people because they are constantly putting other people aside for that lust it's almost like an alcoholic okay when an alcoholic is a drinking problem they don't give a fuck if their kids and their wife or have been waiting for hours at them for them at home they're gonna

have that drink you know what i mean it's same thing with like lustful people this can go for men and women this is why women get so angry at their friends when it's like this is supposed to be a girl's night and now you're only thinking about the guys in the bar it's like you're putting me aside for what you know and men will do that in relationships too if they're lusting over women online you will constantly be that other woman even though you are supposed to be priority number one and I don't think that is a feeling or an emotion that I want any of you guys to get comfortable in yes it feels wrong for a reason because it is wrong okay I think a lustful man will be a dishonest man I think he will be a hurtful man and I do not think he will be able

to prioritize you in a way that will uphold a healthy relationship and I do think in my opinion that is I need to buy like literal red flags so I can wave them around when I want to but that for me is a massive massive red flag and I don't want any of you guys to be in a relationship and be like this is not I'm not getting out of this as much as I want and if you're not getting enough love out of it or attention girl those are the first two things that come with a relationship you might as well throw the whole thing out genuinely and also like how do you have that conversation I guess you can have a conversation conversations are important to have in relationships But what are you going to say? Hey, can you stop jerking off to random women online?

Two in five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.

That's hard. That's hard. Be brave, know what you want, and never settle for less. But yes, I do think a lustful man or woman can be a very dangerous person to have around you because i do not think they will be able to uphold your best interest at hand or in general be a good friend or partner how to be comfortable being yourself like truly not giving a crap about other people's opinions okay so i talked about this a little bit on the patreon pod in a different kind of way but we were talking about the idea of like surveillance states okay we are the first generation to grow up with constant surveillance and i'm not talking the cameras in the middle of

the street that's not what i'm talking about i'm talking about iphones taking pictures videos constantly uploading ourselves constantly being aware of ourselves and other people and consuming ourselves and other people we're the first generation to really ever do this like if you think about it our parents generation every year there's probably a handful of people that were like newly famous and that is it like maybe 10 to 12 new people a year that's it if you think about it now it's like oh my god there's hundreds of thousands different people that we are constantly seeing online i don't think this that in itself the whole famous thing is not necessarily a bad thing but what i do think is a bad thing is the side effects that having a surveillance state is

having on our brain which means we are constantly thinking about ourselves in a third party perspective and i think that could be really harmful like girl you are the thought police in your own head and that is scary we should not be policing ourselves this hard or being like observant of ourselves this much and i do think it does have a detriment on how we interact with the world around us this is a lot of the reason why i have like anxiety or i have like performance anxiety i have a hard time talking to people i have a hard time making those friends or sparking up those conversations because of that overwhelming persistence of like okay but what is that third party thinking what are they thinking about me what am i thinking about myself outside of it

and we really need to pull that perspective down into our bodies again i think i could say some usual things that I probably would say which is you know no one's thinking about you as much as you're thinking about yourself or things like that but genuinely I think a real tool to help you with this issue of like overthinking yourselves and being critical about yourself or even looking at yourself from someone else's perspective is to really ground that perspective instead of viewing it from someone else or from that surveillance state perspective look at it through your eyes for a change do you really give a fuck about what other people think about you do you really need to be paying attention to that do you really actually care about that thing should you actually be

paying attention to that are there bigger things that you should probably be thinking about i do think self-awareness is a valuable skill but too much self-awareness will hinder you completely okay you don't deserve to be critical of yourself you don't deserve to have that you know analyzing voice in yourself to have a critic inside of you constantly that is so just like debilitating and almost degrading in a sense and I do think we should free ourselves from that now I think it is important to also be aware of like where that criticism stands from in the early couple weeks of the artist's way you deal a lot with your inner critic and really pinpointing your inner critic where does it come from why does it stem this way and like maybe who instilled it in me maybe it was

like your third grade teacher maybe it was your mom maybe it was your sibling maybe it was a distant relative maybe it was a camp counselor who knows but when we're children you know we have that one person that kind of like snaps it into place of like oh my god someone was too critical on me and now we have learned to be too critical on ourselves and breaking that within ourselves okay releasing that criticism and a lot of it comes from just like um positive shame um there was this one journal prop that i really really enjoyed and i think this is a great maybe tool homework tool for you this week i love a piece of homework trust um is first of all think about who your biggest critic was when you were a child you know when they instilled that criticism

inside of you that it's stuck with you since now what you're going to do is write a letter to that person you could mail it to them that's not the point of it but just like get a piece of paper and pen out and write a letter to them about why you fucking hate them and how much they suck and how much of an effect they've had on you in this life it will turn that perception of like those critical thoughts from like okay these are things that i actually need to uphold and listen to to like no bitch fuck you i'm not gonna listen to that i don't deserve to hear that i don't deserve to be treated that way within yourself when you are critical or over analytical of yourself and your perspective it's freeing in a sense it actually is really freeing and i after that i

felt much more open to just expressing myself and i do think it's a big reason why i was brave enough to like start therapy or really address those darker sides of me or maybe the negative thoughts that i do have um and also be brave enough to share more of myself to release that inner critic and to just do to be brave enough to do and act and just be myself we deserve freedom to be ourselves without shame without criticism and it sucks that you know sometimes society sets us up wrong or maybe somebody in our life sets us up wrong and we then have to deal with the consequences of their actions but one big thing that you will learn in adulthood is like yeah shit that sucks but it is our responsibility to make sure that we grow and we change and we become a better person

from that that we are able to heal ourselves or else we're just going to perpetuate that cycle over and over and over again and no one wants to be the bad guy in that world so you might as well heal yourself you might as well take that first step address that inner critic tell them shut the fuck up i don't care about your opinion even if it is like yourself just a negative side of yourself and then reinforce it with some affirmations with some self-love like i said i've been a big bitch lately and it's like i think sometimes the biggest bitches need just a little bit of love to even them out you know what i mean but yes free yourself from criticism free yourself from overanalyzing you don't deserve to live in a surveillance state remove the mental cameras

of your brain and allow yourself to live and to be how much weed is too much weed i don't know I'm getting older so my perspective on weed is completely changing because I think back to when I was younger and I would be able to take dab after dab after dab after dab every day do I think it had a positive effect on my brain no no no not at all but also it was like I was young I was crazy whatever now I can't do that that is not a place that I'm in where I will be able to do that and function normally or even feel comfortable about myself it's just not a place sometimes you outgrow it and now I understand why my stoner dad has his perspectives on weed and how he uses it because he has been in the point of time where it's like okay maybe he was probably smoking too

much the same way I was probably smoking too much but if you want to have a healthy relationship with anything in your life you have to find that balance so now instead of taking dabs every hour I have learned to chill I have learned to you know make sure that I am taking care of my brain and my body health and not just dissociating from life so I say if you are smoking so much weed that it's actually interfering with your life with your motivation with how you feel about yourself with how you address the world around you with how you navigate through this life if it is genuinely interfering like oh my god I can't eat because I have to smoke oh my god I can't go out of the house because i have to smoke oh my god i can't i can't do something because of something

that's when you need to have that conversation of like okay maybe i need to take a step back but now i'm in a good place where it's like intentionality is everything okay how are you using it how is it affecting you and are you using it in a healthy way this comes with everything in life weed sex love food money drugs anything okay sometimes we use things that are just as a distraction which is not healthy and we need to be brave enough to question ourselves and ask ourselves is this benefiting us or are we doing this as a hindrance so now instead of being like oh my god i need to escape this world i need to smoke sometimes okay sometimes a girl has a has a day but most of the times not i'll be like okay i'm going to use it to wind down and chill at the

end of the night and so that's how i use it and if i'm like fiending in the middle of the day it's like that's okay because i'm working towards something towards the end of the day when i get all my work done and i can finally chill and relax and dissociate in a healthy way instead of doing it and not doing anything be aware of your intentionality with everything in this life okay be intentional about more things instead of just letting life slip you by or habits slip you by or bad behaviors bad moods slip you by just ask yourself every once in a while is this benefiting me and is it benefiting me in a healthy way and do i want to keep doing it and how can i change into a more positive direction amen oh should i move to colorado with my boyfriend or keep

creating community on the east coast it's giving troy bolton and gabriella like i have such a disdain for um changing your life story for your partner unless you have been together for like like you're practically getting engaged within the next year and like ready to settle down and have a family together like if you have been together for a long time you have built that connection you are ready to settle down and be with that person for the rest of your life then sure you know you have to build life plans together you have to be able to work together in that sort of way to sometimes take that risk and move but if this is something new I'm talking you're still like yeah I love them but I don't know I don't know if they're my forever person

I do not think that is worth giving up your life for I don't think you should ever uproot your entire life for a man that you were still even semi unsure about I think that is a move that you have to take when you are a million bajillion a thousand fucking percent ready to do so like hypothetically if you are willing to get pregnant by this man today then yes i think you should be willing to take the risk of moving um and yeah no moving maybe isn't as big of a risk as pregnancy duh but you can always just move back and if it's a journey that you want to take and you trust them and you enjoy your time with them maybe it is a risk you do take you always have that safety net back home of like hmm I can always just come here I can come back to my parents house I'll

always be able to regroup I have that at least built in for me but please please especially moving with a partner just be aware of how you genuinely feel about the situation and what you genuinely want for your life I never want you to give up maybe a community that you've created or a special place that you've created for a boyfriend we should never be giving anything up for a boyfriend honestly i'll give up some things for a husband but a boyfriend who is it normal to feel nothing after a breakup and just move on i think it's normal for women sometimes men i don't know maybe it is normal i i think in relationships especially people who are like lover girls like down lover girls like i'm gonna i'm gonna go to the ends of the earth for you they will do

everything in their fucking power to make that relationship work until it's just like okay i can't fucking do it anymore and then you know the breakup happens and you don't feel anything because you already went through the breakup in your head in the relationship do you know what i mean i did this in my last relationship where i was like we're fighting every day this sucks i know my brain this sucks i'm googling every hour why does my boyfriend hate me but i and sometimes it's my fault sometimes it's actually a big fault i'm a lover girl and i'm like but i'm willing to do anything like i'm willing to make this work i want to work tldr there you can't make a relationship work if only one person's doing the work yeah yeah jump scare but you know i wanted

to work hard i wanted to keep that person in my life i wanted to change them i don't know i just wanted it to be a good relationship and i knew i was willing to do the work but it got to a point where I was like I was putting in so much work that I was like what the fuck what the actual fuck like this sucks I'm doing so much I'm not reaping any of the reward every day I'm getting yelled at every day I'm getting demeaned in some sort of way like this is shitty I'm doing so fucking much and you do kind of have that breakup moment in your head where you do start falling out of love with them love with them towards the end until someone just finally calls it quits usually I find that it's the person who does the breaking up in their head to call it quits before the other

person but yeah I do think it can be normal depending on the relationship you're in and if you know what you gave it your all and you ended up going through that breakup in that relationship and then you broke up and you feel nothing at least you tried bitch okay who can blame a girl for trying ever but yes the real sane healthy answer is like as soon as you know you want to breakup you should probably just pull the pull the band-aid off and go through the breakup outside of it but soft breakup is always easier breaking up in your head before leaving is always easier toxic advice but real just suck strap the first time in my life and it was so lit you know what i'm proud of you period i've never sucked strap but i could only imagine that it's like

wow this is fantastic sucking dick can sometimes be that way and i do think to enjoy sucking anything phallic okay and to have a good time doing it it needs to be i mean it can be in a submissive way but when i'm sucking dick i'm dominant like no you're in my hands i'm in control you're gonna sit back relax enjoy you're gonna watch this show like that's how i enjoy sucking dick if i have like a fucking eight inch penis or plastic or real halfway down my fucking throat and it's in a submissive way i'm going to not want to be there okay i'm gonna be dissociating and you don't want to be dissociating anywhere near a penis so i think it's kind of more fun when you're in charge and that could definitely come with sucking strap as well where it's like

yeah watch me look into my eyes as i do this yeah you're gonna love this shit period a lot of boyfriend problems a lot of boyfriend problem questions you guys interesting this is actually very interesting especially with the upcoming astrological um changes that were happening in the air this um upcoming full moon on thursday it's nicknamed it's a full moon in capricorn okay big big warning signs about like relationships home life money abundance but it's also nicknamed the buck moon okay um and the big themes around the buck moon every year is its prevalence in our domestic lives heritage ancestors past and home i think this kind of joined with a upcoming mercury retrograde is making us take a big look around the life that we've created around

ourselves regarding our home lives our our past looking towards our past and learning from it sometimes like nostalgia is a big factor love life friendships relationships in any sort of sense to weed to drugs to sex to love any of it relationships in general it makes us take a really good close look at these things and analyze them in a way that we probably haven't been doing or maybe trigger warning ignoring maybe it's going to bring some things to light that we have been ignoring that's what i think is so beautiful about the full moon is sure stressful oh my god scary i'm also always on my period on a full moon um but they really do show us like what our subconscious has been trying to scream at us and making it so prevalent that we just have no choice but to be

aware of it and i highly highly encourage you that when you do get these intuitive messages when you know the truth is revealed when you finally are able to see something for what it is that you listen to that thing and do not deny yourself of your truth and the dream life that you are meant to live i think there is something to be said about dedication to ourselves and being brave enough to take that first step into the life that we deserve to live and to say you know what i don't want this or you know what i deserve this i think there's something so beautiful and wonderful about that that when you turn that down or when you don't listen to that it kind of ruins your relationship with yourself so please take a good look at your life good look at your home life

your relationships with everything in your life and ask yourself is this benefiting me in a healthy positive way and how can i change it if it's not that's what this full moon is teaching us this is not a full moon about manifestation no manifestations none at all and in fact i think i'm going to a full moon ceremony on thursday i'm gonna get my facial and then go to a full moon ceremony girls night it's truly gonna be an amazing girls night but if you want the full write-up i'm gonna do a full write-up on this upcoming full moon and also i'll probably include some spell work if you're interested in doing it um on the patreon patreon.com slash smokes shoddy but yes someone asked role play question mark question mark i am not into role play i

cannot take that shit seriously i can't get i'm not a girl who can get into character if i am a character it's like silly funny character it's not sexy yeah i'm here to take your blood pressure yeah i'm here to be your teacher i don't know what i don't know what people role play i'm not into role play i don't i've never been into role play i've never even i've never tried role play but i don't think it's something that i could like physically get into seriously and be able to be sexy fun during it closest thing i've gotten into in role play is just being in costume and that usually only happens on halloween like congratulations you get one night a year have fun but no i'm not a role player and i wish i had more advice for my

role players out there i would say commit to the bit absolutely you know don't giggle during it that would be my problem that's why i can't do it and listen the bedroom is for fantasy play always and if that's your cup of tea if you like to dress up if you like to role play a little bit then absolutely i mean whatever safely gets your rocks off go ahead be my guest but me personally that is not the kind of fantasy that i am bringing into my bedroom i cannot play that fantasy and i'm just not a good actor i'm not if i was a good actor i'd be on a stage right now i'd be performing i just truly am not that girl oh this is an interesting question i was wondering if you have pet insurance i'm thinking about getting it for my two cats someone also asked for a danger

update danger is doing good we are doing well it's been three months post-op so like i think we are in the clear i have never been a more aware of his bowel movements in my entire life because oh my god i didn't realize that could happen at all but i draw let's talk about pet insurance I spent over that course of like five months at least at the very least five grand yeah yeah yeah and you know what I would have paid more if it meant that he was comfortable and happy and able to live his life the funny thing is when I first moved him in here I was then at night like oh my god what if something happens like spiraling so I bought pet insurance that night I was like fuck it why not get it it's like I think it was $50 a month because he is

older he just turned 13 and we'll get into why that is more expensive but I bought it I was like okay I have pet insurance I have it it's just like a monthly reoccurring payment cool whatever you know peace of mind is everything and then my brother came into town and my brother is 10 years older than me so he has kind of like achieved almost like a decade more of adulting than I have so whenever I have questions about like am I adulting correctly I always ask him and he was at the bar at my work with this other random dude who was just sitting there and I was talking to him I was like yeah no I bought pet insurance I figured like why not like do you what pet insurance do you have for your cats because him and my sister-in-law have two cats one is fairly old

just had some health problems the other one's young but I was like what pet insurance do you have he's like oh I don't have pet insurance that shit's a scam like I would never get pet insurance it just seems like a waste of money I'd rather just pay out of pocket like they're probably gonna deny me anyways and then the random fucking man sitting next to him spoke up and was like yeah no that is definitely like the world's biggest scam I wouldn't get it I wouldn't get pet insurance and so in my brain I go oh yeah they're probably right my brother was like if he does have anything go wrong it's probably not going to cost that much and all you have to pay for is like yearly checkup so whatever a month fucking later my health journey with my cat starts

and the first bill i get is 1200 fucking dollars and i looked my brother in the eyes and i said you know what would have been really nice to have pet insurance to even see if it was gonna of fucking work here's the thing in in the grand scheme of things looking back on how much i paid and what pet insurance does cover i do not think they would have covered my cat at all he is too old and i've had him for quite some time which means he does have a prevalent history at the vet and so anything that he has been looked over or the vet has jotted down they pretty much are probably gonna deny it so do i think they would have covered anything that my cat went through probably not but would it have been interesting to see if he would have gotten covered hell yeah

i would have taken a couple hundred dollars off at the very least like i would have at least liked to know but no i was convinced to cancel it so i think the right way to do pet insurance and what makes the most sense in my head is right now did i just go out and buy pet insurance for my cat no like I said I don't think they would cover what he's going through or what he will go through in the future just because he is so old and it was so expensive I might as well just save the money and like a separate account for him and have like a little cat's health savings account or something like that but if I were to get a kitten if I were to get a cat now I would be buying pet insurance immediately before I even take them to the vet I would be buying pet insurance and then taking

them to the vets because if you have the insurance before the vet history starts i know some vets are gonna come in and be like this that's not how it works and you know what feel free to correct me you're so right you know more than me absolutely like genuinely um and some of you guys were speaking up when danger was going through his health things and i love you so much for that thank you so much uh shout out to the vets out there um pets truly i care i care more about my pet than i do like any living member of my family and yes i'm being dead fucking serious and you guys showed them so much love like danger would get so much love every time he came in he'd be in his little backpack so scared out of his mind like howling and they'd be like danger's here

i'm like so i'm like sobbing in the waiting room anyways if i were to get a new cat i would be getting health pet insurance because i do think if you have it from when they were young like basically a baby then you have more of like an argument when it comes to like the pre-existing condition thing that the pet insurance likes to do or it's like it wasn't a pre-existing condition because he's new this is a new cat you know new things going on they'll probably cover more for you but since he has such a long history of just being alive and going to the vet annual checkups things like that i don't think they would have covered anything when it came to being an older cat even my um my vet told me this he was like no they're just gonna write it off and be like well

he's old so it's a symptom of being old i mean human health insurance does that too i'm like what the fuck but what i do think you should do is if you do have a vet that you love and trust sometimes they have um like loyalty programs and when i was going in so often they were like all right let me slide you the loyalty program paper because obviously you are going to be coming in pretty often and eventually it just would have cost the same as pet insurance but would have covered like all of my visits every single visit i would have gotten discounts on surgeries i would have gotten discounts on procedures like your local vet office will probably offer you more than a pet insurance would because there was no like pre-existing conditions claim on this paper

sure if you had an older cat it's going to be a little bit more a month but like hello one checkup was like 80 you mean i have unlimited checkups if i spend 55 a month that's a win in my book so check if you were interested with your local vet and see what kind of you know maybe loyalty programs they have over a pet insurance because i don't think i would have had a good experience with pet insurance i know there's some people who do and sometimes peace of mind is everything that's how i felt when i bought it at first because i was like fuck it i'd like to at least have him covered by something but ultimately i think if you are going to be doing anything the best idea is to take the money that you would be putting into pet insurance and put it into a

separate savings account for your pet just in case i do that with everything um even though i don't have like a separate savings account i i mentally will transfer over like a hundred dollars a month to my savings and i'm like this is for my cat just in case let me transfer a hundred dollars sometimes $200 just in case maybe $50 if it's a rough month just in case just to put something aside and note in my brain that I'm like I need to this is for him just in case I would rather have it go towards something that I can actually use the full amount of money then spend $55 a month and have people be like no denied we're not gonna pay that but yes I did spend so much money on that cat and I probably would again I do monthly actually I will he is my soul cat I've

been with him since i was 13 he yeah 13 bitch we have grown up together that's my depression cat your parents ever get you a depression cat your parents ever be like we need something tying her to this earth so she doesn't leave so let's get her an animal that was he's my depression cat literally but then i kind of flipped on them where i was like but if he does die i'm also going to kill myself like jokes jokes don't admit me don't 5150 me but real pet parents will know that pet parents understand that love and i'm so thankful that i get to give that much unconditional undying love well dying love to a cute little sweet little animal he's been so cuddly lately too it makes me feel oh it makes my heart just so happy also you guys i've really been content

brained lately where i just love connecting with you guys and building this community and like i don't know creating in general and the vlogs have been such a good part of my life every week where it's like i get to commit at least 10 hours to just like making something cute and funny and silly for you guys to watch so thank you for all the love on the vlogs if you want to watch them at hannah marlene 444 on youtube but i also was like fuck it do i start twitch streaming fuck it do i start twitch streaming will i be playing like video games i don't know probably not but i think it'd be hilarious to do like just chatting girls chat where like we do this podcast but it's like in the middle of the night like i'm either drunk as hell or high as hell and i'm just

like like girls talk send me your questions let's chit chat it out my loves like how fun would that be also it's so funny when people play like games on twitch but then they're completely dressed up as the characters i that kills me and i do love video games i do think that um i don't know like i'm jealous my boyfriend can just get on and game for like two hours every night like i kind of miss doing that i used to do that a lot when i was a kid because it was the only thing me and my brother would like bond over especially him being older than me i'd be like okay let's sit down and play the last of us like okay was i allowed to play no but i would watch him play the entire game like whatever but i don't know i'm just in the mood to put out more content and create more

with you guys and connect more with you guys so if you're interested in anything literally let me know the world is yours i am here for you truly how do you keep your nails so healthy with getting them done a lot um have a good nail tech yeah when i was going to like um like i don't mean to hate on the local nail salons i really really don't but the care and quality that they were doing to my nails was not there it was not there i mean they want you in and out in an hour and now i have a nail tech that at minimum takes two hours to do my nails and the quality and care completely shows if you need inspo at nails by meg so yeah yeah and i guarantee that there will be like somebody in your area that does nails it takes some time to kind of like look around scour

instagram but i ended up finding my nail tech because like a like a high school friend of mine went to them and i was like oh interesting let me start going she just does it from her house the quality and care is better than it ever has been never once has she shoved something under my nail and popped them off she soaks those bitches off if they're not ready to go she soaks them for longer she's very gentle when it comes to like buffing out my nails when i found like at a nail salon they would shave off like eight layers of the top of my nail she's like very soft and gentle about even buffing the top of my nail she barely buffs them she mostly buffs the fake nail and then what i do is i do gel x i used to be an acrylic girl acrylic girl for

life i find gel x to be much more favorable on my nails not as harsh and not as stripping um and they're so much easier she just glues that bitch on secures it and then paints it it's fantastic she is so good at what she does and my nails have never been healthier they grow so freaking fast that's really just because of the amount of protein i eat but yeah care and quality is there and if you're interested in like my nails the girls have been begging i get like at least a dm a day where it's like i need to see like i want a nail highlight i want a nail highlight so i made a nail highlight on my instagram you can go back and see all the nails i've ever had in the different styles so if you need some nail inspo go check that out at hannah

marlene but yes quality and care is everything when it comes to your nails finding the right nail tech is not easy but it is worth it also she's so fucking cute i had my labubu and i was showing her my flabubu my lafufu whatever you want to call it i don't care i love him either way i don't care if your labubu is fake as long as your heart is real anyways she was like does he want a tooth gem she's like it'll take five minutes she gave him a little tooth gem so freaking cute not her doing custom labooboos i was like girl get a stall at the farmer's market now people will be bringing you their labooboos for surgery every 10 seconds like if it takes you five minutes girl you should be setting up a booth get that money but she's so freaking sweet

and yeah like i said finding the right person is not easy but it doesn't make it worth it for your health and quality oh my god someone said said yes and ended up in a millionaire's basement that had a bar and bowling alley oh my god i wasn't sure if that was going like a kidnap route or having fun route you know what happy for you this is what i mean by like say yes summer make sure you are safe safe girl summer if anything like hello get a taser buy whatever you need make sure you're sharing your location with people but like yeah the risk isn't there and you're just like do i have a good time or go home have a good time like that's what you should absolutely be fucking doing definitely i love my boyfriend but he keeps accusing me of things i haven't done and

i don't know how to prove it you should never have to prove your love to the person who is with you i don't think that is something you should have to prove i think you should be eminent and there and if they are questioning you even though you are not doing something it's because they could be doing it or they're just unhappy in some sort of way and trying to take it out on you those people you can't fix you can't fix there's no amount of no but you can go through my phone babe no but you can track my location babe no you but you can do this no but you can do that let me prove it to you let me it's not gonna work it's not gonna work they're already set in the way that they're thinking they're also fucking crazy and they could be cheating on you if anything you

should be checking his phone not the other way around that's not a relationship i want you to be in you should not be in a relationship where you're having to prove your innocence constantly your innocence should always be assumed by the person who loves you period and yes this is like a stereotype in relationships where it's like if someone is constantly accusing you of cheating i mean constantly where you're like what the fuck is going on it is probably because they are doing it and subconsciously they're taking it out on you and trying to like prove themselves innocent by turning it on you and it's this weird little fucked up mind game that i don't want any of my girls participating in or having to deal with i think this is someone that you should

bitch out immediately uh also argument more people should be bitching out their boyfriends abso-fucking-lutely more people should be bitching at your boyfriend how dare you speak to me like that how dare you accuse me of that how dare you ever think that i should would be willing to do something like that i am you should not be speaking to me this way you are acting like a little boy and i'm not dating a little boy because that would be pedophilia that's gross that's weird i don't want to be doing that i don't want to be dealing with this bullshit i don't be dealing with this negativity what did miss amaya papaya say you are a very weird individual and i do not want to talk to you put them in their place okay they fucking deserve it sometimes especially when

they're coming out of left field like that like bitch yell back tell him no absolutely not how dare you think this way of me you know what if you're gonna think this way of me maybe we should we shouldn't be together you know if you're gonna constantly be accusing me of cheating maybe this isn't a relationship that's healthy for us girl flip it on him but don't just take that bullshit especially because you know we both know that it's not happening and no an accusatory relationship is not going to be a healthy relationship someone also asked uh do you share locations with your boyfriend no i i'm i'm trying to be a reformed crazy ass bitch and i know that if i have my boyfriend's location i will be constantly checking it i will be constantly checking it and that is

not healthy for my mental health i will come up with fake scenarios and i will certify i will become your accusatory boyfriend and i know how i behave and i know what my triggers are and you know what that man's gonna cheat on you whether you have his location or not if he really really wants to if he really really wants to he'll figure it out whether you have his location or not so fuck the location i don't need the location i might as well just sit here in peace until i find out information other words you know what i mean it is not worth my mental health or my sanity of having to track a man bitch what am i i'm not an apple air tag i'm not a mother i don't i should not be having to observe all of my boyfriend's behaviors there should be that level of trust

there where it's like you know what's gonna happen happens and i trust myself to hopefully choose a partner that is good sometimes you know they really throw you out of left field and come out as a horrible awful human being sometimes that happens yes but you can't like take precautions against that other than seeing red flags for what they are trying to pick the best partner and sometimes sometimes they still do whatever the fuck they want to do so when they do that you have to leave but always the truth is revealed so if you are somebody who is constantly worried about cheating the truth is always revealed trust in that you might as well protect your peace of mind and sanity i do not like locations because like i said i become a crazy ass fucking bitch

but yeah your boyfriend should not be constantly accusing you of cheating that's weird and there's definitely something wrong mentally with him and not in a fun sexy way definitely in a wow he needs help kind of way and not from you not from you let probably from a licensed therapist who is going to be paid for that work and you for a fact are not a therapist you should never be a therapist for a man ever i feel like this is a good question to leave the girls on i know i know it's the end of the podcast that's okay i've had fun have you guys had fun hopefully you have but especially with the full moon coming up and kind of putting a magnifying glass to all of our relationships in our lives to everything around us to ourselves to the people we love to any sort of like food

sex weed drugs alcohol whatever it may be in your life the magnifying glass is there and we are being forced to take a real raw look at our lives someone asked how do you know what is intuition versus what is anxiety how should i be listening to my gut i think this is a big question or a really good question because especially when we're faced with big feelings and big emotions it is hard to navigate them and understand like what is it telling me what is this emotion telling me is it telling me something based in reality or is it telling me something not based in reality and just made up in my head sometimes especially for an overthinker a sensitive girly like me and maybe like you if you're listening to this podcast it is hard to differentiate between those two

things and also especially when maybe one of those feelings is real and raw but it does give you anxiety it's easy to write off so here is hannah's guide to navigating your emotions and listening to what they may be telling you the funny thing about intuition is sometimes it does cause anxiety so i think the argument of intuition versus anxiety sometimes goes out the window because there is that middle ground I mean to everything emotions are so complex there is that middle ground of sometimes you just know but sometimes knowing can be an anxious feeling and so we get confused the water gets muddied it's hard to really listen to what our emotions are telling us in that moment so what I would ask you is a pause sit down whatever big overwhelming feeling

you are coming to realize or having a conclusion over I think it's important to break out a place to work through this feeling whether it's in your notes app I don't know if you're a notes app girly or if you are a pen and pencil paper girly where you are sitting down and writing it down either way you need a place to sit and focus if I'm trying to work out my emotions in my head that shit's gonna go out the window I'm gonna forget about what I'm thinking about three seconds so have a place to focus to really hone in on your emotions in your mind for a minute you deserve that commitment okay next like i said what are you feeling okay start with the tagline what are you feeling um i'm feeling anxiety about this i am realizing this i'm having a problem with this

whatever it may be what is your problem think about like you're sitting down in front of a therapist and your therapist is like so what's going on this week it's like okay i'm having this anxiety feeling about this maybe I'm having intuitive thoughts about this I'm having a problem in this relationship I'm having a problem with whatever it may be this bad habit that I have write that down from there ask yourself what emotion is it causing happiness is it maybe you're dissatisfied maybe you're angry maybe you're upset what is that emotion what are you feeling from that thought and then from that emotion what is that emotion telling you okay maybe this is how it goes I my relationship right now is not going the way I want it

from that you're feeling I am feeling frustrated from that feeling what is it telling you I am feeling frustrated that I am not being seen and heard in my relationship and then from that you have to figure out the solution cause feeling effect solution maybe the solution is i need to speak up and communicate to my partner more often maybe it's i am not being heard in my relationship and i um maybe need to address that with my partner maybe it's whatever it may be what is your solution this is a real way that you can work through these feelings instead of just labeling them intuition versus anxiety because sometimes the water gets muddied and it's hard to actually work out what is intuition versus what is anxiety now i will say generalized anxiety not based in

reality good question to ask yourself is this thought and feeling actually based in reality you know are you unhappy in your relationship but you're making yourself unhappy or are there real factual reasons why you're unhappy if you're just making it up girl you are just causing yourself more anxiety if it is not based in reality if there are not facts to back it up you are just making your life hell on earth and you don't deserve to make more chaos for yourself you should not feel so chaotic within yourself and sometimes we do stress ourselves out a little bit too much i feel you on that especially when it comes to my cat health like googling symptoms not good stop stressing yourself out stop making things up but when it comes to intuition or maybe

in the whole example I'm giving your intuition is telling you this is not the right relationship for me I'm not feeling heard in my relationship it's making me frustrated maybe I need to communicate more to my partner or maybe it's I have communicated to my partner he's not listening now intuition is telling you maybe it's time to leave and intuition will always feel like meditation in that sort of way where it feels still within your body your body feels still your body feels understanding it feels like truth it does feel like truth within you anxiety does not feel like truth anxiety feels like you're full of fucking bumblebees buzzing around and bouncing around like you're shaking like a little chihuahua anxiety does not feel still within your

body intuition does feel still within your body but work through those emotions babe listen to what they're telling you listen to how you're feeling process them but yes pay attention to also the reaction your body is having is it giving you anxiety is it not based in reality is it causing your body to feel frantic to feel practically vibrating with stress or does it feel calm within your heart sure maybe it's anxiety inducing you know it's difficult to realize things sometimes but does your body feel still that's how you can kind of navigate those emotions and those feelings but i love you all so much so show yourself a little bit of self-care this week go out there go put yourself out there you deserve to be seen you deserve to be heard

you deserve to make good friends to make good connections in this life sometimes it just takes a little bit of bravery to listen to your heart to listen to your head on what you deserve on what you desire to go out and fucking get it we only get one life bitch and you better never deny yourself of anything that you truly desire and need in your heart okay listen to your intuition listen to your gut listen to your mind it's telling you what you need to do sometimes you just gotta ignore the random excess thoughts you might be having and just take that first step forward to put yourself out there to get out there and to live life but with that being said i love you all so much so much content coming out i put up like a hot dog recipe last week i also

posted my cherry picking pictures i'm posting the popsicle recipe today and much much much much more i think i'm gonna do my curly hair tutorial as a reel on instagram because it's very simple and then vlogs are out on youtube at hannah marlene 444 i will be doing a full bake my face with me makeup routine vlog this week if you want to see it early join the patreon patreon.com slash smokes as shoddy i do also have extra patreon only podcast every week where i answer every single one of your questions and if you don't know where to submit your question instagram at hannah marlene you can dm it to me there but also i upload the questionnaire every sunday for 24 hours so i can stay in tune with the girls and how they're feeling but with that

being said stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on September 19th join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Ready to take your investing knowledge to pro level? This is Fidelity Connects, your daily edge in the markets. Get deep insights on real-time market topics that may impact your investment portfolio. Listen to Fidelity Connects on

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