Smoke Sesh - making mistakes, saying yes & living intentionally

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

hello hotties and welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh! so excited to be back with you all as we have a lot to catch up on, we talk what I've been up to, celebrating the summer, plus learning to find the light in the darkness, we also get into alllllllll of your questions about cancer season, living intentionally and finding the beauty in the mundane, recent spiritual epiphanies, learning to love the slow, chasing highs, spells for the girls to free them from situationships, why do we love men and hate ourselves, chasing men, making mistakes, living fearlessly, vibe sponsorship for you all, pride month celebration, my unintentional t break and freeing ourselves from boredom, saying yes the summer, quarter life crisis and surviving adulthood, leaving early, spiritual encounters of the paranormal, work crushes, nuclear fallout, survival, instagram aesthetic, getting a cat, messy breakups and messier healing, healing indecisiveness and learning to choose, plus much much much much more! if you want to see more from me follow me on instagram @ hannahmarlene, vlogs on YouTube @ hannahmarlene444 and of course exclusive and early episodes on patreon.com/smokeseshshawty love you all and chat soon! MUAH!

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can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out. Let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. hello hotties welcome back to another sexy little fun episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and honestly very excited i know i say this every week but truly truly this is like my safe space i am so excited to be back with you guys and just chit chat on everything going on in my life and yours you guys I have been busy busy busy little busy body bee I have been running around like crazy usually usually when I'm doing like too much like overwhelmingly too much I become kind of depressed I don't know if you know the moon cycles are syncing up correctly or

whatever's going on in the stars maybe I just am taking care of myself correctly but I actually have I feel like more energy post doing so much than I ever have which is a nice change of pace I worked all week when which was super fun in this hot hot hot heat but taking care of my parents dog as you guys know and they finally came back home so I've kind of been out of that routine which I'm not gonna lie I do miss like I say like I say it takes two weeks two very simple weeks for your brain to finally get into a routine and then once you're in that routine it feels very natural you start looking forward to it it feels like something that you want to wake up and go do so those early morning wake up calls go walk the dog middle of the afternoon go walk the dog get

outside at first hard I don't want to do it I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to get off the couch I have to go outside you now I'm like craving it and the fact that my parents are home now I'm like I think I need to get a dog no I'm just kidding but I do need to get outside more so on the plan today I'm gonna try to just like go on one walk a day whether it's in the morning if I do work in the evening or maybe in the afternoon if I have the night off it really is just a great reset it's a great time to process your thoughts to turn on that podcast if you haven't listened to it to maybe watch my new vlog yes new vlog for you all i told you i have been hustling and working okay and that includes vlogs for you guys i posted it on my instagram story

but um i made a new youtube channel just for my vlogs i don't know if you're watching this on youtube or spotify but on youtube the vlog handle name is hannahmarlene444 and it's a regulate my nervous system vlog with me i like do ice face dunks i get ready with me's i go to therapy i get some yummy lunch i do some retail therapy it's great it's great it was fun i had a great time doing it it's just silly and cute and just a good old time over there so if you want more content from me go check out the vlog regulate my nervous system with me it's so fun also on instagram at hannah marlene it's in my link tree so you can easily find it that way i need to start adding links to these podcasts i'm so sorry i feel like i'm so behind technology wise but we're getting

there we're getting there um i'm hopefully gonna be having vlogs up either saturdays or sundays for everybody on that youtube channel but as you guys know patreon patreon.com the girlies there are going to be getting it early hopefully on like wednesdays or thursdays at least three to four days earlier than the rest uh just because you know they're paying money they deserve a little honey you know what i'm talking about if you want to join the patreon though patreon.com slash smoke says shawty vlogs early monday inspiration sunday spiritual reset i'm sharing some inspiration with you guys they're talking about spells um journal prompts things like that we also do a patreon only episode every single thursday you guys i'm content brain right now i

am like ready to go i'm feeling energized who knows what next week will be like but right now we're harnessing that energy okay it was also my niece's birthday yesterday yes I'm still rocking the Moana tattoo I know you're jealous um she's so freaking sweet she's a little demon wild child she's her and Lana Del Rey have the same birthday which is like that connection was made in my brain and I said yes icon icon in the making very excited for her she's a little like cancer Gemini cusp girly so best believe she ranges through all the emotions at all times but I am obsessed with her she is the sweetest little girl ever and she's turning she turned three ah the best age ever two and three are like my favorite ages when I was teaching um when I was a

like nanny and when I was a um daycare teacher I taught specifically the two and three year old room and it is the best age ever I feel like everybody talks about terrible twos terrible twos that's only if you're trying to control a two-year-old there's very limited control you have over a two-year-old and truly the more you let them just like roll around in the dirt the better off you are honestly i mean that's what's good for them like they're gonna be screaming and crying here and there but hello when i was two and three like i get it those emotions are crazy you've never felt them before you're going through so many new things all at once it's gonna be overwhelming like let it out girl i feel you but they do live in omaha so i

had to drive three hours there I spent three hours at the birthday party which was so fun it was so freaking hot it's getting so hot and stressing me out because I know it's not supposed to be this hot but like I chugged me a little truly me and the kids were in the backyard playing tag they had a pinata and I love being an aunt because I'm a professional shopper and I do have money and if I'm gonna spend money on like anything best believe it's gonna be my nieces and my nephews my niece or nephew I don't have multiple but there is something so like wow I did that when you get the kid the birthday present they don't stop talking about you know when you're a kid and it's like oh you got all these presents you're so thankful they're all fantastic but there's

always that one present that you're like wow they fucking nailed that shit like that kid cannot stop thinking about it yeah i did that i do my research okay i love my i love my nieces my nephews i love those kids i do my research to make sure that i'm getting them some good fucking gifts and i found this like beautiful replica moana necklace like the heart of taffeti moana necklace with like rhinestones and pearls and gorgeous gorgeous so cute amazing she put that shit on and I swear to god for two hours she was walking up to everybody like look look at this look at this okay little diva of course I had to get my girl some sparkles some jewels something to show off and show off she did so aunt of the year hi happy for that but then I also drove three

hours back because I could have stayed overnight but when I stay overnight in Omaha we wake up at 5 30 in the morning because I'm usually crashing on my brother's couch and that's when the kids wake up and then we're awake playing playing playing until about 11 30 when it's nap time and then i drive three hours back this podcast would not have happened it truly would not have happened and like i also i'm gonna prioritize you guys as well so i did drive three hours back at seven o'clock after the birthday party also i have some confessionals for you guys and it's something that i want to tell you guys but truly no one else in my life knows are we ready and like please don't shame me listen don't please don't get mad at me i started smoking cigarettes again

i don't know what it is about a road trip and being alone in a car with a greasy burger next to me listening to some lana del rey i hit the gas station and i said yes i will take a pack of marble reds yes i will smoke three in my car on the way home i truly do not know what the fuck came over me i really haven't smoked in what five years i used to smoke like constantly if you guys don't know i started smoking cigarettes at like as soon as i could get my hands on them honestly that age like 16 17 like bumming them off people and then once i turned 18 oh slippery slope downhill then vapes came out yes vape technology was brand new to us you guys they did not just naturally exist those jewel pods were 70 i remember that it was a jewel kit came with four pods and

the the fucking wand i don't know what to call it the mechanical device that shit was 70 now you can get it for like 19 at your local gas station but it was new technology so of course they priced it up i got into that after after smoking cigarettes and then i smoked until i was like probably 21 until i met my boyfriend and my boyfriend does not fuck with cigarettes because his parents smoke and it grosses him out so i kind of just like fell off the wagon there i also stopped working in the industry as much and started working with children again so hello i'm not taking smoke breaks with cigarettes around a two-year-old that's just not gonna happen i mean breaks where you're not taking a break when you take care of children honestly so now that I'm

back in the industry and everybody is just smoking around me constantly it is something that I'm like thinking about more often but not participating in that much but I don't know what it is about a road trip I did smoke about three in my car am I craving them no it just really is that special moment where I'm like yeah sure I'll take one driving through the hills of Missouri next to the truckers who are also smoking i don't know i just had to participate spiritually but yeah it was really fun it's nice to get together with family and just celebrate the people you love it really kind of shows you and it just emphasizes like what's important like that bullshit noise going on in your head not important showing up for the people you love your community your family

important important celebrations enjoying life making good out of the bad always the most important thing ever oh also if you guys have vlog ideas for me please let me know down below i i am here to please so please like genuinely give me all the ideas i'm i'm in the zone to create i'm truly in the zone to create i don't know i feel like i've just held myself back so long and okay so a dose of inspiration that i shared with the patreon people is uh tyler the creator sat down to do an interview I think with Instagram and essentially it was with a bunch of other creatives and they were asking him for creative advice and one I listened to the whole thing it was so hot and I was just laying on my front porch with my cat like sweating my balls off just

listening to this and just kind of you know honing in on his words one thing that really stuck out to me is he was talking about how ideas come and go but if you don't take the time to make them into reality they're just ideas and how so many things that he had thought of and he's like i wish i would have made that music video i wish i would have gone for that movie i wish i would have done that thing like sometimes it truly is just up to you to sit down and get those things done it doesn't matter if they're good or they're bad or they're ugly or if anybody even fucking watches them it just matters that you listen to that part of your heart that wanted to do something and you followed through because looking back even if you like it or you don't at least you understood that

you listened to yourself and did that damn thing okay you were tapped into yourself and that's something to be admirable of and I heard that and I was like okay bitch we need to get to work we need to start getting creative we need to start actually following through on those paintings on those ideas because it's kind of disrespectful to ourselves to not listen to that creative interpretation that we want to take or those dreams that we have and to kind of push them down it's that's what intuition is really all about you are telling yourself these things for a reason you are giving yourself these ideas for a reason listen to your heart follow those dreams create create create and thus i was like you know what fuck it let's just start doing vlogs

i love it it's a good it's a good to get into a new creative zone and try something new and also just take you guys a little bit closer into my life you know what i mean but with that being said um that's really all i have to catch you guys up on this week just been enjoying my time living one day at a time trying to make the best of it with what i can you know that's truly all we can really do at this point in time now get into the spooky scary stuff because hello i'm not a bitch we got to talk about things that are important and serious and yes hello serious things do need to be addressed um i was going through what i do is like i if you don't know where to submit your questions i get a lot of dms about this if i submit a questionnaire on my instagram story

every sunday it's up for 24 hours so the questions and the topics are you know pertinent to what's going on right now in this very moment i wanted to keep it very very close and connected to the life we're living and oh my god every other question is like world war three iran what's going on i'm scared i'm i'm terrified and you know what i absolutely feel you a thousand percent if you guys don't know which I'm sure you do I work at a Middle Eastern restaurant but the owners are Turkish and Persian so from Iran and specifically one of the owner's wife and his house and his whole family is in Iran and the day the bombing started she was supposed to fly here the day after to move here because of just like the political unrest like she was supposed to

fly here with their dogs to come to america which was like a big move they were going to sell their house you know like he can't leave the country to go there so bring her here you know what i mean literally the day before she's supposed to leave is when all these bombings start happening are you fucking kidding me like truly so incredibly heartbreaking and just like seeing the emotional process that the owner of my restaurant who's there every single day like amazing man talk to him constantly the things that he's like having to process and go through is just so genuinely heartbreaking but also he has been able to give us all like a bit of dose of inspiration in a sense where he's like this is not the first time I've been through kind of like this political unrest

or uneasiness so he's able to give us some pointers and tips to like the young people who are kind of like panicking or freaking out because yes Saturday night middle of the shift oh my god why is the USA bombing Iran like what the fuck no one asked for this literally truly no one fucking asked for this like oh my god of course now everybody's panicking duh hello oh my god my co-worker she's so dumb I love her but like sometimes I'm like girl clock in pay attention she was like they're bombing us what's going on I was like no girl she's like I have to I gotta go home she just she lives in like oklahoma city she's like i gotta drive home right now i'm like no like no it's the other way around truly just kind of like makes you stop in your tracks and

be like okay what the fuck and i think the the panic is also really emphasized by the idea of like honestly after the pandemic in my brain anything can happen like truly in my brain it's like oh pandemic that'll never happen you know like we have the cdc and you know we are just so technologically advanced nope whole entire world shuts down after that i was like no truly truly i like and you can't prepare it's just kind of like mentally preparing like anything can happen honestly and i don't say that to scare you it's just like you know that emphasis in the back of my brain now i would like to share with you something that the owner of my restaurant shared with us that truly kind of did um help us all immensely and also was a great just lesson to

be taught in that moment um he could you know feel the uneasiness he was uneasy himself like so now we got to kind of regroup what's going to go on let me get connected with family things like that and he told us in times where you feel like everything is out of your control where maybe the power above you is heavier than the power you have where you know maybe bad things are happening and you don't want bad things to happen and it just feels like so completely elsewhere or just like out of your control in that sort of sense which honestly makes you know at least me panic more often sometimes he was like you have to focus in those moments on things you can control and when it comes to you know possible war and bombings and things like that we really need to focus on

our community and show love to the people around us and make sure we are showing up for our family for our co-workers for the people we love in our community that we are being outspoken when we need to be that we are you know participating in a world around us instead of just shutting down and letting the world participate outside of us like your voice is important the impact you have on the people around you is important you do have control over that sure maybe you don't have the fucking nuclear war button in front of you yeah but you do have people in front of you that deserve to be loved community that deserves to be shown up for and you do have control over that you have control over showing love showing kindness showing compassion that's when it really clicked for me

I was like you know what you're so right some people like I feel like they see all these big things happening and they freeze you know like they freeze or they block it out they shut it out they put their head down they're like it's too much for me I don't even want to pay attention to it it's like I understand that fight or flight reflex but there is something more I mean just more in general that you can do with that emotion that's not just shutting down you can take that energy and that passion that you do have and put it into something good show someone kindness that you haven't shown kindness show up for community give compassion give care give understanding give respect we have control over that and sometimes in this moment we have to control what we can

control okay make your voice heard show up for the people around you and show love especially now more than ever but yeah it is scary and you were valid in feeling scared I had to tell my the owner of my restaurant that you know he's like I'm just you know a little overwhelmed right now I'm having a lot of emotions I have a lot of fear and I had a I was like you know what all of those emotions are absolutely valid and I completely understand um the emotional state you're in in the sense of like you are heard and you are validated here like you do not have to be here putting on a facade that you're happy when you're like is my family getting bombed right now like you are absolutely valid to be pissed off angry mad upset fearful whatever it is and I don't want

you to have to push that down and fake something because it's real this is real life and sometimes real life has negative things going on and you got to feel those things in order to kind of push through them but yes i love you all so much i'm always here for you guys low-key fuck the u.s because what the fuck but i don't want you to give in to fear um fear keeps us complicit fear keeps us quiet leveled down i want you to always give in to love show up for the people around you make your voice heard you do have a say in some things so focus on what you can control but i love you all so much and i'm sending everybody here so much love at this point in time but with that being said now is the time to get into all of your guys's questions to hear what's on your

minds and to yeah it's happened with the girls what's going on cancer season it's cancer season cry it out you know feel those emotions don't snap on people that's the last thing you need to do during cancer season but you're gonna have a lot of big emotions and your big emotions are valid they're there to tell you something your emotions are always there to tell you something what are they telling you what can you learn from them and how can you move forward in a positive direction but don't snap on the people you love oh my cancers oh my cancers I love you guys so so much but you have a very special way honestly I think sometimes the meanest people ever are cancers more so than Aries Aries are mean but it's direct to your face where you're like okay

they're kind of a bitch but cancers are mean in a way where it's like oh my god how did you just pick out my most insane insecurity and present it to me like that in the most random way like i'm gonna think about that forever cancer's gonna get crazy sometimes don't give into the craziness okay feel those emotions what are they telling you and move forward okay oh this is a great first question what are little things you do every day to live intentionally hmm you know what i'm always especially now more than ever i'm always seeking love and gratitude in my daily life and beauty okay beauty is underrated there's a lot of ugly things out there i don't want to see the uglies don't bring me the uglies i want to see the beauty and sure even quote-unquote stereotypical

ugly things can be beautiful if you have the eye for it and i think it's important to always be looking for those things and to be seeking beauty in the world okay seeking like aesthetically pleasing things we deserve to be surrounded by beauty I mean there's so much shit out there yeah yeah we should be we should be honing in on the beauty also just like gratitude and love um I found especially um if you listen to the past couple episodes I have been just like very very anxious and I do think that anxiety is a product of my thinking and just like the OCD thought spirals that I was getting in of just negativity our thinking and our thought processes are very very important to how we perceive the world around us if you are constantly in a negative

headspace you know hating on yourself thinking about anxiety only negative things you could be in the most beautiful place ever like you could be on a island beach you know resort paid for like a million fucking dollars in the bank like everything going right for you and you could still be like wow i hate myself i hate my life i hate where i am right now it truly truly is a product of how we're thinking about things about how we're engaging in the world around us and i understood that i mean in my anxiety sometimes you know your thoughts are a little bit harder to control than um than you might think you know sometimes it's harder to kind of get your thoughts onto a positive place a positive mindset but if you can get there and if you do push yourself to

get there and if you do do the work to seek gratitude and positivity your life will make a direct 360 it really will um how i'm feeling now compared to two even four weeks ago where i was just in the throes of like really really bad debilitating anxiety you know i sat down i was like all right bitch time to put some more work in that's the fun thing about life is there's always more work to be done and not in a bad way because you are just going to be consistently leveling up and leveling and doing better and getting better and getting hotter and sexier life's getting better like it's so worth the work always and that's kind of what the game of life is but sometimes you're gonna have that moment where it's like okay you know I put the work in in the past

but now it's time to kind of reconnect do the work again and that's where I was where I was like all right let's let's get into those coping mechanisms girl let's pull out that fucking spreadsheet from the psych ward and get into those coping mechanisms let's get let's get to work all right pen to paper let's do this shit and I really started thinking about you know how I was thinking how I was engaging with the world around me practicing gratitude every day it's a great practice if you have a very negative thought process right now which no hate valid I feel you write down at least three things every day that you are grateful for it can be in the morning the afternoon the evening whatever time frame works best for you three things three things

three things everybody can do three things I promise you and then three things will get easier and then you could do five and then five things get easier than you could do 10. But it will help you retrain the way you think about the world and think about yourself because you will subconsciously be looking out for three things throughout your day. The more you do it, the more your brain will be like keeping an eye out for positive things in your life and the easier it will be to engage in a positive relationship with your life. So I do think some of the little things that I do to live intentionally are truly just seeking positivity seeking joy seeking beauty and not holding myself back in that way it's really easy to see the uglies okay I mean they're

there it's harder to see the beautiful things but if you put the work and you will be able to find it and even if you're living the most mundane life it's gonna look like a rainbow technicolor dream if you do that positive seeking work any spiritual epiphanies recently illy um yes i feel like a lot of my spiritual epiphanies especially my early 20s were mostly like i don't know how to put this i was seeking the highs of life the discoveries the big things the bright the shiny and love that fantastic but now I'm challenging myself to um enjoy the mundane enjoy the slow to um be appreciative of the little things of the slow days of the long days you know what I mean and through that also like learning to take maybe what is simple and turn it into what is beautiful

um i think especially being a having like an addict personality i'm always like seeking more challenging myself to more more and more i need i need a new high i need to try something new i need to sell all my shit and move somewhere i need to do dmt i need to you know like crazy shit that just doesn't need to be happening especially at the age of 26 i know you guys i'm 26 i started this podcast when i was 22 that's crazy um i just think it's important to learn how to slow down a little bit and yeah you know chase those highs when it's important but I do think I have a lot of like high attention seeking behavior that I'm trying to kind of like calm down a bit where it's like no no we don't need to sell all of our belongings and move to

Montana to work on a ranch like you can absolutely but like let's take our time getting there things don't need to happen overnight it's okay to just enjoy the mundane and to get used to the slowness of life and just enjoy our daily routine i think it's it's an important task to learn and it's something i'm challenging myself to do a bit so maybe that's my spiritual epiphany slow down pay attention to the world around you and enjoy how to get over someone you never dated slash the evil situationship i know i've answered this question before but specifically i wanted to bring up a spell for you guys who are like i feel spiritually connected to this bum that i should not be spiritually connected to i've been loving jar work recently especially when it comes

to maybe negative feelings that you're having and you're wanting to kind of like bottle them up somewhere that's not inside your heart and soul so i think also spell spell work and jar work can be very important when it comes to relationships that you want to bottle up and get rid of um so what i would recommend doing here's a spell for you guys who are plagued by the situationships who are plagued by the two years ago summer flings you can't get out of your head get a jar get some white salt and then anything that reminds you of them maybe they you have like a receipt from a date you went on i don't know i'm a sentimental person i keep everything maybe it's a strand of their hair anything that you feel is in your area that you're spiritually

connected to put it in the jar followed by various herbs or things that you know you would like to also use for emphasis it could be anything jar put it all in put the lid on grab a candle that correlates to how you're feeling maybe it's red if you have passion but you want to kind of like you know seal your passions up maybe it's black if you're like i don't fucking want them anymore like whatever maybe it's white if you're indifferent melt the candle on top of the lid until it's sealed and then you can either like throw the jar away or put it in your freezer if you want to kind of like freeze them in a moment in time maybe if you don't want to hold on to it i do recommend maybe like burying getting rid of it something like that but it's a great place to

put your emotions put your feelings put the little trinkets you've been holding on to spiritually in a place that you can seal up physically mentally and move away from i love a jar spell truly helpful i made an anxiety jar i posted the spell on patreon if you want to check it out um i think it was like two weeks ago but honestly i think it really helped it was just like a way for me to hone in on the feelings i was having what anxieties i was feeling and to put them somewhere where i felt like i had control over whereas in my brain i felt like there was no control i could really think about them put them somewhere and place them away from me spiritually and i do think it actually really really helped especially when i was going through some of those panic attack days that were

completely wild enough why do we never like the guys who are good for us only want the ones that are trouble it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with yourself honestly if you are loving a man who wants nothing to do with you it's because you're seeking love and trying to prove yourself that you're worthy but you don't need a dumb man to tell you that you're worthy when you can just do it yourself you're just seeking it in a third party place do you know what i mean and it's also easy to feel fulfilled when we are also feeling love or even just getting sex but that doesn't really have a long-term hold on us especially when it's someone who just simply can't love us back um and especially when i was in that place where it was like oh i'm obsessed

with this person you know i need to make them love me it's like no bitch you need to make you love you like and even if i was like in the mentality where it's like no i know i'm amazing it's just why don't they know I'm amazing it's because even though I you know thought I thought that way I actually didn't because if I really thought I was amazing I wouldn't put up with somebody who wants nothing to do with me you know what I mean I do think a lot of these emotions and there's a lot of these like negative toxic cycles that we get into especially when it comes to love truly truly has nothing to do with the other person and everything to do with how we are feeling about ourselves and what we are desiring and what we need but we're not actually

listening to that and we're doing the opposite of it and in turn it just sends us on this spiral of toxic love and chasing after something while also running away from ourselves leave the situationships in the past please free my girls from the situationships truly truly i made a huge fuck up as a server and i'm so anxious i don't want to go back oh listen when you're younger I think it's really easy to be like because you haven't made a lot of mistakes I am pro making mistakes I am pro fucking up I am pro not like being a fuck up but like I think too many people are afraid to like make mistakes okay I think too many people are afraid to get messy to get dirty to try new things we are too consumed with being perfect and simply put we are not robots we will

not be perfect I mean robots aren't even perfect but like we're humans we're gonna be ugly we're gonna be messy we're gonna be smelly we're gonna be mean we're gonna be a fucking bitch sometimes and maybe we don't mean it in that moment but it's gonna happen it's gonna happen it's just like a truth to life there's always truths to life to life and I think one of the major truths to life is you're gonna have every experience of emotion and that includes making mistakes fucking up whatever it is um I personally am pro making mistakes not that you have to make a mistake to learn about yourself but I do think you can learn a lot about yourself through making mistakes and honestly the more you make or maybe not even the more you make I don't want to

challenge you to be an awful person but the more you challenge yourself to try and be okay with failing the easier time you will have in life I remember being a younger little baby server and like yeah oh my god i dropped a glass they're gonna fire me oh my god you know i accidentally put the wrong dish on the wrong table they're gonna fire me oh my god i accidentally forgot to write down the money count for the night as a manager oh my god they're gonna fire me no they're not and if they do like kind of who cares you know like learn move on but we can't get caught up in this shame cycle of just like i'm a bad person i'm a bad person i fucked up i'm a fuck up i'm a fuck up i'm a fuck up because then you're going to keep doing bad things and not

learning from them and that's a slippery slope i don't want any of you guys to fall down that shame spiral is going to make you guys keep doing bad things and not learning about them because you are going to compartmentalize that you're a bad person which makes you okay with doing bad things no no no no no none of you out there are evil none of you out there are bad people because i'm sure most of you are making mistakes taking the lesson learning from it and moving forward that does not make you a bad person and I do think it's important to learn in this life to be okay with making mistakes I'm at the point in my life at 26 where it's like I fuck up and I'm like oh well what are you gonna do hang me from a cross as a sacrifice because I accidentally dropped a

tray of glasses I don't care I don't care it was a mistake if you want me to pay for it sure whatever i'll do it but you know next time i'm gonna i'm gonna carry that tray a little differently or maybe i'm not gonna put that many glasses on it or you know next time i'm gonna be a little bit nicer whatever the mistake is i'm going to learn and i'm going to move forward if you trust in yourself to take the lessons with you through life it makes the weight of the mistakes pretty pretty non-existent you know yeah i fucked up let's address the situation but guess what tomorrow's a new day tomorrow's a new day to try to do better to learn to move forward we always have that there's something really really beautiful about that but the people

who refuse to think that they can make mistakes or to address the mistakes that they do make those are the people who are kind of like real fucking evil like those are the people who i've run into in my life and I'm like oh wow I want nothing to do with you because you refuse to ever make a mistake or even to address the mistakes you do make and it's making you do more of them and kind of making you a worse person because like you're being evil and mean and then when someone tells you you're being evil and mean you're like no I'm not I can't make mistakes I'm a perfect person I would never it's like no no we're telling you this for a reason and it gets you living in this like place that is just not based in reality and making you a worse and worse

and worse individual because you refuse to be like I fucked up I'm sorry it's so simple it's okay to be a fuck up it's okay to make mistakes it's okay to make the wrong decision it's okay to take the wrong turn it's okay to you know accidentally do these things or sometime purposefully but what's most important is did you apologize did you come out of it a better person did you learn did you say sorry that's what truly matters that's what's telling you who you are the mistakes not telling you who you are the actions after it is what tells you who you are so make sure you are moving forward accordingly and try it's okay to fail it's okay to make mistakes you will always learn something from it you will always take something from it and you will grow

from it i promise it's always such a kind of shock when i go to omaha because um my brother lives there now but i did spend a good two years of my formative life there and i truly felt like i lived a whole different existence there and i made a whole lot of mistakes while i was there too but looking back on like the young hannah who lived there and then the hannah who i am now like being in that place six years seven years like after that it truly is like wow i have grown so much i was driving on the street and i'm like oh that's the target i almost got arrested for shoplifting in oh that's where me and my fucking bum ex-boyfriend used to go to all the time oh that's where me and my friends used to go smoke weed in the parking lot like

so many mistakes even driving by my old college which in itself was one giant mistake i mean not a mistake because i made so many friends there but mistake just like going there in general i did not need to be in nursing school that's for fucking sure it's like you know what looking back i am so proud of young hannah and that 18 19 year old me who did live in that place for recognizing the mistakes she did make learning from them and moving forward because I would not feel like a completely different person in that place if I did not learn from those things I would still feel like that 18 19 year old version of me and I'm so glad that that place feels like such a different world because I have come so far and I have grown so far from that person that I

was you know i if i was still shoplifting in target at this age oh girl we would have some problems like two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca when you're a mid-sized business you need every competitive advantage you can get like an ai solution that works for you not against you sap grow is built with ai embedded at its core working across every system and it's ready to

go from day one so you can hit the ground running bring it with sap grow ai cloud erp for any size business that would be a fundamental issue with me you know if i was still with that horrible aquarius ex-boyfriend who wanted nothing to do with me i truly truly would be such a shell of a human being and i'm so glad i came out of it on top truly on top so thank you young hannah for making the mistakes you did make for learning from them and growing because i wouldn't be the woman i am now without it oh you guys i got a vibrator sponsorship one of you guys was like you should check out this um this company they make vibrators and i did i dm them and i think this week we're doing a vibrator giveaway where it's like essentially if you sign up you either

get a free vibrator or a gift card on my instagram stay tuned i think it's this week maybe next week um but i'm like hey i have to show up for my girls i am in the business of pleasure and i keep talking about fucking vibrators so i might as well get my girl some you know what i mean but coming soon stay tuned follow me on instagram at hannah marlene someone said i had a threesome with my bestie last night happy pride month true pride month is nearing an end i mean i in my opinion it's always just like pride year every year but pride month is nearing an end so go crazy go wild you know hook up with your best friend have your challengers moment um kiss a girl or a boy or both at the same time have fun get sexy and enjoy your time okay spread the love someone said joint plus

caffeine combo is peak what has your relationship with weed been like lately um i think i've teased kind of how my relationship with weed has been like but i've kind of been on a non-intentional intentional tea break um if you listen to the podcast for a long time i do this honestly quite frequently and i think it's really important to do this with anything in your life where you just like take a pause take a breather from it to kind of um re-evaluate your relationship to that thing and so I I was just in a place where listen I have a lot of free time and the job that I do work I can smoke a lot before you know like when I'm serving I can go in stoned as fuck and be perfectly fine so it was kind of like I'm waking up I'm smoking a bowl 30 minutes later I'm smoking

a bowl 30 minutes later I'm smoking a bowl 30 minutes later like I was smoking a lot a lot a lot a lot and I kind of fell off the wagon in that sort of sense where I just like stopped smoking when I started watching my parents dog again because I was just too busy I was too busy and I realized oh wow I am smoking to just pass the time I'm not smoking to like escape anything like there's not emotions that I'm trying to run from or just like the world in general I'm just bored and I hate sitting on my phone but when I'm high I can sit on my phone longer and I can do more nothing and I'm okay with doing nothing so I just smoke more and more and more literally to just pass the time and once I realized that I was walking with my parents dog walking is so important

I'm I am pro walker you know what I am so pro walking I'm so excited for like my little afternoon walk today on my day off but like I came to this realization when I was walking because I do think walking gives you that really peace and clarity moment to really think through your thoughts where I was like holy shit I didn't even realize but I haven't smoked in three days I literally have not even realized that I haven't smoked in three days after smoking probably like an eighth a day if not more for the past i don't know six months hello i was like oh holy shit oh my god i'm just busy i'm actually filling my time with things and doing more things and in turn i'm not needing to like distract myself from the world or to like busy my time up with a substance and i felt really

good about that i mean i felt kind of like oh shit like what the fuck but then i felt good because i feel like i had figured out the key which is just doing more shit staying busy even on my days off like today where i woke up and i was like do i hit the fairy bong do i hit the fairy bong at 8 a.m no no no no no get busy get ready sit down for your podcast do something after the podcast eat some yogurt go on a walk like keep it pushing i do think i would like to incorporate more more weed in the sense of like as a relaxation tool i think i've been drinking a little bit too much which is also something that i kind of want to work out a bit but i'm young and i'm hot and i'm turnt and i'm not drinking at 8 a.m but it is something that i do want to work on that's

something for my therapist so i do want to you know keep it integrated in my life in a relaxation way you know end of the night post dinner post shower i'm able to just sit down and have a little joint and chill the fuck out for a second but yeah i do think the smoking all day was a way of me escaping or just like passing the time in a way that just wasn't healthy i need to get busier i need to have hobbies i need to get outside hello i don't want to think back to my young years and be like wow i did nothing with my life because what i was high on the couch scrolling on tiktok oh cringe cringe it's okay to cringe at yourself sometimes as well it's important to understand who you are who you don't want to be and to recognize those behaviors that maybe aren't so

good recognize those behaviors that aren't helping you that are making you a little cringe and to grow from that you know so I'm glad that I've kind of at least for now outgrown that part of myself because I do think the way I was engaging with weed wasn't healthy I do think it's not healthy to just be high as fuck on your couch for 365 days a year scrolling on your phone like hello my phone was permanently glued to my hand like if my phone's gonna be glued to my hand let me be outside on a walk so yeah i'm really thankful that i accidentally fell into this but it's important to take moments where you're like taking a step away and looking at the big picture things whether it's your relationship to substances your relationship to drinking your relationship to

other people your relationship to yourself your relationship to your family you can have relationship with anything relationship to food with working out it's important to take a step back and to really observe your behavior towards it and ask yourself like is this helping me grow is this keeping me healthy is this something that i want to continue doing you know am i little cringed out about it do i need to leave it in the past is this something i want to grow on from or is this something that i do want to take forward with me for the rest of my life um it keeps us just in check little check and balances and it keeps us developing into better more well-rounded individuals so I am glad that I kind of was able to come to that conclusion and I don't feel

shameful about it when I was younger especially during this podcast I felt like I needed to smoke to be here like I needed to be so high to be here but I always emphasize the idea of the smoke session how sometimes there's people in the smoke session who literally want nothing to do with the smoke but everything to do with the sesh everything to do with the talking the hanging out there's something so wonderful about just like being surrounded by people who are completely different than you but are all drawn to the same area for some reason and maybe it's over weed maybe it's just bonding maybe you're too drunk and you want to sit down and you just happen to end up in the smoke circle at a party but there is something so magical about so many people different people

coming together from different places who had never talked to each other and being able to sit down and enjoy their time together i think that's so beautiful and so wonderful and whether you are high this entire podcast or i am either way i am just happy to be here with you and i think that holds more value in my world than the weed does you know also i've really been enjoying my cbd lately oh i got you guys a code you guys have been pulling through for my girls i've been manifesting hardcore what vibrators cbd hell yeah so plain jane cbd i've really been loving them um especially their cbd cream my knees are fucked up from work and then their pre-rolls but i have a code for you guys if you want i think it's 10 off or if you're just interested in trying

plain jane cbd code hannah all caps h-a-n-n-a-h for 10 off this is not exciting i know i'm the first when it's like just hannah sometimes like hannah 10 and i'm like how many hannas have you had I'm just Hannah that's crazy I love it for my girls always pulling through but you know there's ways to supplement that are healthier hopefully this is my only pack of cigarettes that I can just supplement with CBD but yeah on to bigger and better things and growth growth is important and I don't think growth is anything you should feel shameful of it's okay to leave past versions of yourself in the past I'm so happy I left past version of me in Omaha like hello did not need to bring her here that's for sure um but it's good to share the love of who you were and to share the

love of who you're gonna become it's exciting i love growth i love change i feel like a little flower sprouting out of the concrete like despite it all it's beautiful how to deal with being at home for the summer i'm almost 23 but it's so hard for me to say no oh like no to your family i'm i'm curious what it's hardest for you to say no to um for me personally maybe this has nothing to do with your situation but i think it's the summer of yes yes do that thing fuck it you're sad inside get outside say yes your friends want you to come out you're exhausted after work fuck it say yes this is the summer of yeses um i've been saying yes to more things and it's ending me up in like the most random places but i'm having like the best time ever and it just takes

a little bit of courage and just like you know what fuck it what do we have to lose you know I'm safe I'm healthy why not say yes go do the thing go enjoy the thing go enjoy life we ended up at the river last week with like 15 friends that I had never met before but was just like with my boyfriend and like his kind of circle and I had the best time ever like floating down the river with some baddies hanging out with them enjoying the sunshine um and it's like did I want to get outside on the hottest day of the year no but i did and i said yes and i had a great fucking time like this is the summer of yes now if you feel deep down in your heart and soul like i am intuitively feeling it's a no then no okay okay but if it's more so just like a subconscious

like very very low level of like i just don't want to do it do it it'll take you the craziest places it'll have you doing the craziest things the most fun things the most fun things I've ever done in life are things that I was just like you know what fuck it fuck it let's go do it why not girls trip to Jackson Hole Wyoming fuck it let's go do it let's go swing dancing let's go to a rodeo let's go climb a mountain like why not going to a random pop-up event Kansas City fuck it let's go do it let's go try it random vintage flea market event fuck it I don't care why not you know someone telling you about this new random food spot fuck it I'm gonna go stop by and try it out you're gonna get more from life saying yes to things than you are no and no is always the

easier answer thus we feel more inclined to say no to things yes is going to be the harder answer but it is going to be the more fulfilling answer and i hate to be that old bitch who sits here and tells you one day you're gonna look back and you're gonna although it's hell on earth you're gonna kind of miss maybe being in close proximity to your family but you will kind of you know look at it from that outsider perspective of like one day maybe i will grow up and i'll move away from here and i'll never see my parents again but for right now i'm going to just try try to enjoy it the best i can if you really can't enjoy your family then escape from them a little bit say yes to the things your friends are inviting you out to do to kind of get out of the house more

often or your co-workers or whoever or even just yourself if you're like you know what fuck it i want to go drive to the lake today do it say yes go enjoy that thing but it will take you so much further than saying no ever could summer of yes summer of experience we are officially well like one week into summer i think the summer solstice was literally on oh on friday i did a summer solstice post on instagram just me sexy in a bikini at the river go check it out but um we have like two more months of summer two more months summer just fucking started bitch get out there go enjoy all those ideas that you have in your head like no one's gonna make those things happen for you but you if your friends have the ideas congratulations that's amazing go with them

join them go on that road trip take that sporadic trip go to that concert whatever it is just put yourself out there try new things and enjoy life it's meant to be lived it's meant to be enjoyed and the more fulfilling your life is the more you've probably just said yes to quarter life crisis i just got my motorcycle license okay but but but but but but but but we haven't talked about the quarter life crisis before and it is very real but it's not scary it's not scary i'm definitely in my quarter life crisis i don't think your 20s truly start until you turn 25 that's when your 20s start i don't think your 20s start when you're 20 because your brain is still not developed you're still young you're still a child in my brain if i'm interacting with a 20

year old that's a baby i'm interacting with an infant i'm interacting with a 23 year old it feels the same exact fucking way 25 your brain snaps into place and you take a look around you and you're like oh my god where where am i what am i doing where am i going but you have more control over the situation when you turn 18 and you're like kind of thrown into quote-unquote adulthood even though not really kind of like sort of that feels scary because it feels like you're jumping off a high dive when you turn 25 when you have that quarter life moment you've already jumped off the high dive but now you're kind of starting to like scuba dive and dip below the water so you have that safety aspect where it's like you've already taken the jump the leap

of faith you've done the crazy shit you've felt the hardships of your early 20s but now it's like okay well fuck bitch it's only up to us to get deeper to go deeper to discover what's under the water so it is this challenge in a way of like you have the safety net of understanding that you can do anything if you made it through your early 20s you can do anything you desire you can go after anything you want you have that self-concept of like i trust myself i trust me but what kind of life do I want to live like anything you want you can create but what do I want to do who do I want to be and it kind of has you dreaming in the same way that I was at 16 where I remember laying in my bed late at night like trying to imagine my future and where I

wanted to be and like oh am I gonna be you know in Wyoming on a ranch am I gonna be on the beach in LA am I gonna be in Europe am I gonna be in outer space who knows but you have that kind of concept of like anything is possible and you want to escape so bad because you're still at your parents house that you dare yourself to dream a little bit outside of the box your 25 26 year old self acts the same exact way your 16 year old self did when you were dreaming except now instead of feeling the confines of your parents house you're feeling the expansion of the world around you and the understanding that anything is possible and your ideas are limitless what feels so out of control about your you know quarter life that quarter life crisis is kind of just like

more so like what am i doing where am i where do i want to go and just making a fucking decision trying things out going after it moving to that place it's just you have to be brave enough to do it you really do I'm proud of you that you're brave enough to get your motorcycle license that's exciting wear your helmet wear your helmet very important I grew up on motorcycles my dad's a big motorcycle guy he goes on cross-country motorcycle trips and that's also something I've thought about I'm like maybe I will get my motorcycle license maybe I'll get a motorcycle maybe I'll start going on motorcycle trips like fuck it anything is possible and it truly is so beautiful we just have to be brave enough to be like okay fuck it I'm gonna go do it I'm gonna go try it our life

is meant to be lived and enjoyed and fulfilled and all those dreams and ideas that you had at 16 in your childhood bedroom are possible it's scary because it's only up to you but also it's beautiful because it's only up to you you don't have to rely on a man to choose things for you or your friends or your family you can truly go after anything you desire anything that you want and you feel like you deserve in this life you can go after and that's so beautiful but yeah it is kind of a crisis where it's like oh my god it's only up to me oh my god it's only up to me what do you mean what do you mean that's too much pressure but also i would rather have the pressure of possibility than the disappointment of not achieving what i wanted in this life you know you will survive

your quarter life crisis and honestly 30 is gonna be so i literally cannot wait for 30 because 25 to 30 I think I'm going to do so much growth like 25 to 26 wow did a lot but like 25 to 30 I think we're just I'm going to completely transform as an individual and it's going to be so amazing and just so beautiful and I cannot wait to see where I am at 30 because of the drive and the passion that I do have for life and the daringness that I have to dream and go after the things that I desire that it's just like I know the life that I'm going to be living is so amazing and magical and wonderful and it's so worth hanging on for enjoying the fulfillment of it all you know you'll survive your quarter life crisis don't get in your head too much the key to surviving

your core life crisis is to get out of your fucking head and into the world okay all right we're nearing the end of the podcast so let's do a couple speed round questions bf of seven months won't touch me sex or flirt because of his depression five months i'm feeling unwanted help okay you're seven months in I would leave if it's anything under a year and it's a fundamental issue I would immediately leave and it's like not that you are giving up it's just obviously there is a very large incompatibility here and dating is about learning if you're compatible or not and when you're only a year in if you're already realizing wow we're really really not compatible it's okay to move on and I know it's hard when it comes to mental health but also if I was in the

place of mental health issues where it's like i physically just can't have a partner right now like i can't give them a good relationship then i don't think i should be in a relationship maybe i should be putting most of my priority on to myself yeah it's selfish and i can't take care of another person but also sometimes it's what you got to do to survive maybe that's what he needs to do to survive and obviously this is not a fulfilling relationship with you stamp of approval leave someone said ghost stories please oh my gosh no ghost stories but i do think some people are more open to seeing ghosts um my boyfriend's very anti-ghost like he's definitely not putting the energy out there towards ghosts that like yeah you can make yourself a present to me but i

am like i very much so um connected to the spiritual realm that yes i do see ghosts quite frequently um especially in this apartment that obviously literal people have died in hello like last week um and also it's just been around since like forever I would say probably at least 1900s many people have lived in this apartment families there's just there's people here okay there's spirits here and there are many times where I will walk out in the middle of the night to get a glass of water and there's like a human sitting on my couch yeah yeah but I make that available to me you can close yourself off to the spiritual realm you know if you feel like you don't want to connect to it if you feel disconnected from it yeah you're not going to be able to see premonitions

ghosts but they are very much so real i do think we have that crossover very often i don't think it's going to be like an interaction but i do see them quite frequently um and it's not scary i don't know i feel like a lot of people have scary ghost stories but i'm not putting myself on like in scary places i'm not like seeking out evil spirits it's just where i am and you know the history of it all it's gonna be something i interact with there's also one at my restaurant it's like an old house so there's gonna be we call them ghost chef but like sometimes they'll just like knock shit off the wall or whatever it is um i'll see them walking upstairs i'll hear footsteps whatever it is it's happening and it's there and i'm tapped in but you can also tap out

but something you're scared of you don't have to interact with it and they will stop showing themselves to you you can disconnect from that realm but nothing crazy spooky you like i said i don't want to interact with the evil the evil can stay away from me i'm pretty good at banishing the evil it really is just like neutral spirits that i'm um open to help hannah i started a new job and have an intense infatuation over my job crush no no no no no do not shit where you eat that's my biggest biggest life lesson life rule for you guys you're not shit where you eat unless you work in a place where it's like very easy to get a job elsewhere i get it crushes are fun they're silly they're sexy they're amazing but like if you don't have the maturity of like being

able to hook up with somebody and then in the future if it doesn't work out still be able to have a professional relationship with them and a mature relationship with them then it's not something you should be fucking with and i know no offense to you guys but like we're young and it's gonna be very hard to withhold um a mature relationship with somebody after maybe getting romantically involved with them like no hate i get it i'm a crazy bitch too it's not something i would be able to do and that's why it's a hard no for me personally i don't think you should mess with your emotions and your money it's not healthy okay money unfortunately does rule over romance and you need to make sure those bills are paid and you're showing up for work and excited to go to

work sure if it's just like a cute little something in your head love it if you don't ever act on it and there's just like a cute little flirty thing you do when you go to work amazing but if he brings his boyfriend girlfriend boyfriend either way if he brings his partner in in the future and it actually takes a toll on you like we got to get it together girl i don't think you should shit where you eat i think you should always protect your money and make sure your money comes first maybe you know manifesting that he leaves the job and then you guys can date you know like maybe you will have that separation eventually and yeah you know what i love a flirt i love a crush given to the crush psychosis a little bit but would i realistically act on it

no no i wouldn't i don't think it's worth the strain of it all i think just from being in close proximity to a person constantly every single day a two can turn to an eight yes yes i said that a two can turn to an eight realistically is this person actually like somebody you want to fall in love with and is amazing and hot or are you just around them all the time you know we see this a lot in high school too where you're like why is she dating that ugly ugly ugly person it's because they sit next to each other every single fucking day and ap psych like of course they're gonna fall in love like it is what it is they're just around each other too often but as soon as your world expands or as soon as you guys stop seeing each other so often

i guarantee the infatuation will immediately wear off oh my god you guys girly guide to surviving a nuclear apocalypse honestly i don't i i'm betting on that there's like no surviving for me personally i mean i live in missouri yes we literally saw the fucking scary ass bomber jets fly over horrible horrible awful all of the nuclear reserves for the united states is in the midwest so like if in my brain like if i'm doing realistic thinking they're not bombing like New York or LA like in my brain if we have the nuclear reserves like right out in the fucking country 30 minutes away from Kansas City they're dropping that shit right on me and honestly like do I want to survive the nuclear fallout it's not going to be some fun little tv show HBO special

it's going to be like scary limited survival you know what I mean do I really want to go that way no but hopefully it's kind of quick that's what I'm betting on and you know what if I do survive I was talking about this my boyfriend I was like if we ended up like in a not even nuclear but like if there was a zombie apocalypse would you take yourself out or would you try to survive my boyfriend was like I think I would just take myself out like I don't think that's something that I would willingly put up with and I was thinking about it I was like you know what I mean hell on earth but I have that I have that survivor in me like listen I've tried to take myself out in the past and at this point like fuck it I'm gonna go eventually why not just try my

best in any given situation right now the situation we have amazing wonderful we're able to live harmoniously fairly fairly but like even in a zombie apocalypse situation or maybe nuclear fallout where it's like end of the world times I think I would still just like attempt the best I can you know I think I would still be like you know what fuck it we're here we're gonna just try to survive as much as possible you know there is that human spirit that human willingness of just like I'm gonna live despite it all nuclear fallout though in reality since I live in Missouri it's probably dropping directly on top of me but that's not something I'm messing with right now right now I'm focused on getting this money showing up for my community and learning to show

love a little bit easier I don't know I hinder love for myself sometimes and I turn into a cold bitch and it's like no we need to let the soft the soft part of ourselves be loved and be seen by other people it's important someone asked how do you get your Instagram feed so perfect um like I said at the very very beginning of the pod I live for the beauty of it all and that includes every single little thing around me i'm seeking beauty constantly and if i have the right eye for it your phone camera will also have the right eye for it also when i'm editing photos which i don't do a lot of i'm just basically turning up the brightness and the saturation saturation to everything and you know what that's a great metaphor for life we should be turning up

the saturation on our life we should be seeing it through a beautiful lens and honestly everything I take on Instagram comes through my phone very simply someone asked should I get a cat yes yes and absolutely yes I think a dog you have to think through a little bit more with anything that you get even a fucking fish like you have to have the funds to take care of it okay you have to monthly budget out what it's going to cost to take care of that thing for my cat I think monthly if I really think about just like daily needs I probably spend upwards of at the most like $300 a month on him and that includes like litter maybe a couple new toys some treats wet food dry food okay it's expensive it's expensive to have a pet and to give them the

love and care that they deserve and need to be functional individuals um so yeah think about that but also I think cats are so amazing and so perfect if you just need like a little buddy if you need a little friend a little guy to follow you around to spend time with you to have you looking forward to something if you don't like coming home or like spending time at home this thing will have you sprinting to get home after your shift okay like my co-workers are going out like getting fucked up after their shift and i'm like i'm a mother i'm a mom i'm a mommy anyone watching love island like mamacita no i'm i'm a mother like literally to this cat i'm like i have to get home with him because we have our whole little evening routine where it's like

i scoop his litter box i feed him i play with him then he goes poop then i shower like we have our routine going and it's important not only to me but to him and like i want to live for him and make sure I'm taking care of him and especially where it's like maybe you're losing the plot of life and you just need a little little spark a little something some preciousness some some love some energy in your life cats are fantastic for that I also love a cat because you have to earn their trust and earn their respect and earn they they don't immediately feel safe with you I mean some of them because they're just so sweet little angels but cats you really do have to earn that respect and that trust and once you do it's like we we're locked in for life twin like we are it

i live for this cat i love him endlessly but something you're thinking about you have the funds you're a little lonely you need a little something to spice up your life i do think a kitty cat is amazing oh i love danger so much i love him so much i'd do anything for him tips to get over a messy breakup you gotta go crazy any breakup any breakup you have to go a little batshit insane i think it's healthy i think it's healing and everybody's batshit insane looks different maybe it's you're going out to the club every single night maybe it's you're getting up and you're moving to the mountains somewhere maybe you're becoming a monk maybe you're like becoming a nun who knows who knows but i do think it's important to get a little fucking crazy it is

it is it's freeing two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca legendary is here with bet mgm sportsbook sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports download the bet mgm app see bet mgm.com for terms 18 plus alberta only please play responsibly subject to eligibility requirements if gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being

211 alberta is here to help call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca bet mgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the alberta i-gaming corporation standard message and data rates may apply you feel like you have just like unleashed yourself even if it was a healthy relationship you feel like you're like free from the chains of like being in a relationship and all of a sudden the world kind of opens itself up to you but in a way where you're like I'm kind of fiending for meaning here you got to go create meaning you got to go crazy you got to hang out with friends you got to go a little batshit wild little batshit insane I do think it's healthy and anything somebody does post like two months you have a two month period window period post breakup anything

you do during those two months I'll forgive you as a friend if you're going crazy after those like after a breakup no valid queen like I get you I see you I understand you you're heard and you're loved but after two months you better get that shit together you better get your life together you have a two-month window to go crazy so you might as well take advantage of it how the fuck do I be less indecisive no one's gonna choose it for you babe so you better figure it out and honestly anything you pick you'll never not me about to be like you'll never make the right decision but it'll never feel like the right decision some some things you're like yes this is right but most of that indecisiveness is caused by like these are two great options like i'm not

sure i'm not sure what do i do here's the thing if you keep thinking about it and thinking about and thinking about it that opportunity is going to pass you by and you're going to have a complete life that you didn't live choose something and if you can't choose something flip a fucking coin i love a coin flip i love a coin flip i'll never get mad over a coin flip if it's two things that I'm really indecisive about and I flip a fucking coin it's gonna land on one of the sides okay and I'm either gonna be like yes that's amazing or I'm gonna be like oh shit I wish it was the other side if I'm like oh I wish it was the other side I'm picking that side you don't have to follow the coin flip but like I'm picking how I'm feeling in that moment and I do think your feelings when

it comes to indecisiveness tell you more so about what the right rightest answer is more so than what you can really think your way into did that make sense I literally have had so much espresso today i had four shots of espresso this morning and i've been on like hyper speed i don't know if anything i said made sense but i love you girls because i do think we telepathically connect in a way that just other people don't get me sometimes i'll talk to my co-workers and they'll look at me like this bitch is just speaking in riddles like this bridge troll just crawled out of a hole in the ground and came to work like what is going on who is she what the fuck did she just say to me you guys you guys get me and i love that and i don't know if i just have you

guys trained or maybe we are just operating on a level that other people just don't get either way i'm so happy to have you here and to have this little community smoke sesh where even if it's just like stress central i'm like if i'm suffering from panic attacks or like the world feels like it's out of fucking control we do always have each other and i think that is so beautiful that we have created this little community together of positivity this place is so positive like you guys are committed to keeping it cool calm and collective and so have i and i think it really truly has paid off throughout these years of just like we have fun here we have fun here despite it all the girls are gonna laugh the girls are gonna cry their girls are

gonna have a time together okay and i really really do love that i love like literally love this podcast so much i drove six hours to omaha and back just so i could be bright and bushy retailed for this episode this morning but i love you all so very much stay sane out there especially now more than ever and if you feel like you are out of control which some things are completely out of our control focus on what you can control focus on where you can show the love and make your voice heard your voice does deserve to be heard and you are important you are special and you just do deserve to spread love to people around you so do so especially now more than ever when like hatred is so prevalent you know we don't need more hate we need more love and stay sexy

and stay sane and stay sober if you need to whatever it is whatever s's you feel like you need to be doing give in to them if you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com slash smoke says shawty for early vlogs and episodes where i answer every single one of your questions and follow me on instagram at hannah marlene to see what i'm up to oh vibrator giveaway on instagram i think this week stay tuned but yes please stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer

Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.