Smoke Sesh - mean girl, sick of myself, blunts & bad breakups

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Hello hotties happy Tuesday ! So excited to be back with another episode of the pod, we catch up on what I’ve been up to and important things to chat before diving into all your deepest questions. We talk brain fog and how to combat, current favorite way to work out at home + recommendations, adult friendships and space is okay, resting days and honoring yourself, sick of me! how getting fed up with yourself is sometimes the best motivator, cheating? I hate blunts, losing your most prized possessions in clubs, discovering new things in sex, bad breakups, how to give back to your community, time to start thinking about the new year! travel plans, don’t be a greedy bitch and giving thanks, relationship addiction (it’s ok to be alone) my Spotify wrapped, having confidence on top, and lastly mean girl and how to reroute that energy. Love you all this was such a fun episode, I can’t wait to see where the future of this podcast takes us thank you for joining me every week can’t wait to see you again soon! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know? Just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out! Let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. good morning welcome back hotties of the world to another episode of smoke sesh i'm so excited to be back with you guys i've been having so far pretty great morning i'm sitting here in my living room i feel like oh you guys the one thing i tell you about moving and i know i moved like what six months ago like it's been a while but the thing about moving is it takes you almost six

months maybe even more to like live in the house and actually build around the space and build you know into that an actual home to make you feel actually comfortable it takes quite a while um especially with my apartment it's quite large and i had like zero furniture coming in here so i've slowly been collecting pieces here and there so like collecting like decorations here and there um but even at my last apartment just like small cute little one bedroom i loved her she was so cutesy small little tiny kitchen oh my god all the places i've lived i've been so lucky um but even at that space where i felt like i didn't have a lot of space it's probably a third of the size of my apartment now um it took me a while to finally feel like i was settled

feel like I had lived in the space long enough to call it mine and that's finally where I'm getting now at my at my apartment and it feels so good I feel like that's just the one thing they tell you about uh like moving and that's why I always say like don't buy things before you move in of course the necessities like toilet paper pots and pans glasses towels very basic shit but don't buy anything big until you move into the space because I've had a really bad habit of you know trying to be prepared and buy things before I move in and then I move in and they simply just like don't fit and then I wasted all this money and it's just such a huge headache just wait till you move in then buy the things decorate around the space decorate to how you want it to feel that's the

best way to do it but have some basics at first and I understand it's going to take a while like holy shit six months anyways I'm here though I'm feeling good it's been an amazing morning on my second um latte second espresso shot as you can tell by the speed of my voice I woke up this morning got an email that my delivery came in I had my Sophia Coppola archive delivered this morning so I have just been spending my time sipping coffee reading her book I have a habit of just collecting the hottest it girl books like when i was 16 i needed that election alexa chung it book the little you know small pink book with the eye in the middle it by alexa chung yep needed that got that this is what 2016's alexa chung was to this day what hello you know what i'm

saying so i got my sophia capola archive it's gorgeous it's beautiful i love seeing how women's artists brains work I am so interested in their processes how they bring things to life what their imaginary world is um I love stepping into new people's worlds and seeing you know from a different perspective and I mean this book is fact there is an abundance of like content imagery artistry to consume from this book and I feel like it was a very good investment for 65 dollars very good investment you know what i mean i feel like i'm literally scrolling through her own personal tumblr feed but like in book format tumblr idea for you please let me print my entire tumblr history into a giant book i would pay so much fucking money for that because you know you

have to scroll just like and you keep scrolling and you can't like go back like i wish i could go back to the beginning and scroll through it you just can't i can't scroll that fucking far i've had it for years i pay so much money to have it printed into like a giant book format anyways been doing that been hanging out little face mask i'm breaking out like crazy so i'm trying to get that into control it's simply from picking my number one form of like self-sabotage is picking at my fucking face i don't know what it is um i gave myself acrylic nails basically as a way to essentially declaw myself because with acrylic nails i can't get the right angle to pick at my face but somehow right now that seems to not be stopping me and i've just been going crazy so

we're trying to heal from that do a little face mask self-care get some water in smoke a little bit have a few coffees that's my morning um i went to a rave this past weekend that was super fun me and my boyfriend went to go dance our little hearts out my favorite thing is honestly getting tickets and then like to a show that you've never seen before you know you've maybe heard of them maybe not like who cares sounds fun fuck it i'll get tickets let's go that's like my favorite hobby and I guarantee you can get tickets around your town for like 15 bucks I mean maybe even ten dollars which is the price of door entry at a lot of clubs or like I don't know spots on the weekend it's like why not just go to a small local show little rave concert any sort of genre and go

experience and enjoy and just like immerse yourself in the crowd I love doing that I love being like such a small little part of a crowd and yet we're all similarly on the same vibe i oh that feeling is so great so we went out did that put on a cutesy little outfit had my cutesy little time few little drinks you know what it is um worked this weekend and then i don't know why i've never done this with my time especially being a kansas city resident we have a very fate like famous brewery here called Boulevard Brewery and I don't know why I've never been on a tour or anything like that but my friend who's been a travel nurse is you know her time's coming to an end here so I was like fuck it book us tickets let's go these tours usually like 30 people usually there was

four of us four of us that's it so we had a blast the tour guides was like a daughter and a father who work together at the brewery giving tours they just love beer and love talking about it i'm like not a beer girl but if you want to become a beer girl or like a wine girl and you don't know how go on a tour you will like get so much respect for it you will get to try so many different things that you will just be like you know what at this point like i found at least something i like because i've had like 12 beers i was like it's 15 there's no way we're gonna get drunk we were there for like five fucking hours five hours the tour was supposed to be an hour long how did we end up there for five hours could not tell you but anyways i think i like beer now

it really just took one one tour for me to get that and wine previously not a huge wine fan go on a tour i was out in oregon you know go on a little tour have a little sampler fantastic i love wine now you know what i mean but like drinking it in someone's basement when you're alone that's not the way you're gonna get to like it or like at a bar everything's sticky i don't know if you're gonna learn to like beer there going go on a tour where these people know things they have like joy in their hearts and they want to share it with you it was great had a blast but anyways that's it that's all i've been up to really just like trying to get out enjoy life experience a little bit more fix my place up try and keep it as clean as as possible so i enjoy

spending time in here kind of learning to enjoy spending time not only alone but also outside and finding a fine balance between it especially with this winter um and trying to challenge myself to not completely isolate as easy as it is like i could lay in bed every single day all day just curled up in my comforter and it would be fantastic but also i know it there would be obviously a big downside and i would be missing out on a lot of things and although my heart really really wants to do that i understand we gotta have balance in life so every couple of days i'll do it but for the most part i'm trying to get out experience life especially things around me that i've never gotten to experience and um learn to get a little bit creative and spend more time

usefully within my own space but yeah sorry for rambling i know why you guys are here i know what you want to hear from me um oh I have one PSA maybe two two things I want to share share with the class um one my heart is breaking and shattering because if there's two things I love in this world it's Sofia Coppola and a CBD gummy if you saw my story this morning and Paz Pax is closing its doors January 1st I have literally had like no sponsors on this show at all the only people that I enjoy and continuously work with and love and support is Paz Pax and they have shown that to me we've worked together for like three four years we have worked together for a while and they have been so incredible to me

I love their products but they're closing their doors and I literally like I shed a tear I did because I don't know any other CBD products to trust um and these are the only ones that I like really love and recommend so they're doing a huge store-wide sale right now but I had to get on there like stock the fuck up on my little gummies and stock the fuck up on my pre-rolls so if you need to do that use code smoke sesh as well for 10 off but they are closing their doors so if you've heard me talk about them and you want to try them unfortunately we only have a month left before they're gone oh literally so freaking sad i'm hoping they're doing like a little you know stop regroup come back revitalized refreshed renewed ideally that's what would happen but i

have no idea so i'm literally like i feel like i'm going to an apocalyptic situation and i'm like i need all my gummies i need to stock up prepare for this long winter ahead oh and also i am planning on doing and I know I've said this before I know I know but dead ass seriously very serious I've been really asking myself like where do I want to see this podcast going of course it's fun to get on here chit chat a little bit but I feel like there's a very visceral like part of this podcast that is missing and I think it's just video element it's like a very simple fix or like a very simple thing to do but I am just like so particular and I want it to be perfect for you guys and I think it's really stunts my growth and um stunts me trying new things and so my one

challenge for the year as we look on the new year um and ask ourselves what we want to do I really want to turn this into a video podcast format I will also have audio podcasts of course but for my video you know listeners my video watchers i really i really want to create video podcasts that you can sit down enjoy smoke with me especially because youtube allows it spotify allows video podcasts both of which you can smoke on like why the fuck am i not doing it i want to challenge myself i want to grow as a creative as an individual i want to give back to you guys because so many of you fucking guys listen to this podcast especially after spotify wrapped and seeing everybody post this oh my god all the love that you guys give me I just want to give

back tenfold and I think the best way to give that back to you guys is to simply create more give you more give you more fun things you know what I mean who doesn't want that so that's my big goal for the new year and I'm hoping starting that I think it'll be like new year's day is a Tuesday so or maybe the day after New Year's Day either way I really want to have that first episode be a video podcast so stay tuned stick with me through this through this December as I learn and I grow and I'll be practicing but continuing the audio podcast as usual but I'm really hoping that I can give back to you guys and provide you with some more fun content as well but yeah i love you let's get into all of your deepest darkest questions all right someone said

dealing with brain frog frog fog dealing with brain fog oh wow that was hard to say i feel you i feel like okay a few tips none of which you probably want to hear but are real honest advice a if you smoke you got to cut back on the smoking if you have severe brain fraud what is with the frog the fog if you have severe brain fog you need to cut back on the smoking ah i know you don't want to hear it it's definitely not going to help we all know like that is not going to be the solution to the problem and in fact it might be the problem so like let's not smoke during the day let's cut it back to maybe an evening use only cut back on the amount we're smoking the times where smoking and only only utilized during really intentional useful times um if you're

smoking all day every day and you have brain fog that is probably the problem um i have had really bad memory issues and um really bad brain fog and just feeling like i was almost okay you know that scene in twilight where it's bella and she's in her severe depression and it's just like time is going on around her weed can make you feel like that if you are just smoking constantly all day every day especially if you're using it as like a dissociation tool it feels like the world's moving around you much faster and you just can't keep up cut back on the smoking if you feel that way okay i guarantee that honestly might be the problem and it'll help with your motivation because you'll no longer be kind of escaping from reality it'll force you to deal with some things it'll

force you to kind of move forward work forward create new exciting things in your life so cut back on the smoking maybe at nights only little gummy in the evening um utilize it during times it's necessary number two water water i know you're dehydrated i know you are unless you aren't then shout out love you i'm sure your brain is feeling so amazing and juicy and plump we need our brains to be amazing and juicy and plump so please drink water if you don't have water your brain is going to literally dehydrate and shrink down and not be able to function so you need water for not only your vital internal organs but for every single part of your body and especially your brain so please stay hydrated i'm begging you not only hydration but please feed yourself

if you're not having like a snack in the morning or something to keep you going in the morning you gotta start doing that I love a little clementine grapefruit bowl you know eat me some little fun fruits some fried eggs some oatmeal a little something because if you don't have anything in the morning or at least like a couple hours after you wake up think about it you are still running on fumes like that night you processed all the food in your body you have utilized all of its energy you are out of energy you need to now re-up energy in the morning to keep you going but if you don't have the that um energy in the morning that boost in the morning you're just going to keep running on fumes and running on fumes and running on fumes and then

it's also going to contribute to your brain fog okay eight hours of sleep that's all you need okay maybe even less i promise you if i get more than eight hours i feel worse than if i got like five you know what i mean i feel like your brain if it gets too much sleep it has a hard time bouncing back it almost gets like stuck in that state for too long um and you have a harder time developing back to the real world developing back to a real schedule eight hours it's enough and if you're not getting that if you're getting like four girl please sleep a little bit longer i'm begging you your brain needs time to rest and recover but you don't need a lot of fucking time you know what i mean set an alarm if you need um and last but not least especially to help with

brain fog move your body a little bit okay like get your blood pumping go on a walk discover the world around you do some stretching like a 10 minute little like yoga flow stretch like it doesn't have to be intensive you don't have to be like gym bro i'm gonna go fucking lift 100 pounds and then run on the treadmill for an hour i mean if that's you vibes shout out you are killing it but unfortunately that's not me and it's like i do believe though getting up and moving my body at least a little bit it kind of forces your brain out of a life experience perspective and back into more just like a existence body perspective and it's really nice for refocusing regrouping um your brain getting your blood pumping feeling good great for marine fog anyways those are my

top tips i hope it helps i love you speaking of someone said favorite pilates yoga vids on or content creators on youtube love you um madeline madeline abid madeline abid a b e i d i believe those are the pilates stretching videos that i watch every single day she's amazing they're challenging but not too challenging she's very aware of great move combinations to really target your whole body in a short amount of time little cute music in the background cute little timer love her love her 10 out of 10 recommend hi hannah um i've been listening to your podcast for quite a while now i literally just repeat listening to your episodes because i love them so much um but my question is so i am i'm almost completely certified as a teacher and

I don't like to go out very much anymore because I'm so exhausted on the weekends and I have some friends who get mad at me for not going out when all they want to do is go out to the bars and they don't make effort to do more of the things that I like even after I've brought it up to them do you have any advice on how to go about that because I miss them as my friends but I just we're not in the same place of life right now and I feel like they're spending their entire life out partying which isn't a bad thing but they don't seem to be seeing it from my point of view um yeah if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it I love you this is a great question I think it's everybody everybody who has a adult friendship will have

to navigate this at some point where it's just like we are not on the same page right now we're at different stages in growth and that's okay but when you're ready to meet me where i am we will meet again and that is a very valid real mindset that you need to take on of course like no one should be pressuring you or being mean to you because you don't want to do something you saying hey i'm a full-time fucking teacher dealing with little gremlins every single day shout out to all my teachers out there you guys are doing the lord's work literally oh my god that is such a fucking hard job and you guys deserve way more money you deserve oh my god everything in this world i love you thank you anyways of course you're gonna be exhausted of course you don't

want to go out to the bars but like once you make that known they should be able to respect that of course you know if they're like bar e friends they're gonna be like oh that's lame let's like come hang out yeah like they might be a little pressured but they should give you your space if you need it and understand that like of course you don't want to obviously like let's do something else and if you are being like you know let's try something else and they're not receptive of that maybe you just need to take a step away and it like sucks because yeah they're friends but if you guys are not able to make to make space for each other that's okay maybe they need to go do their own thing and you need to focus on doing your own thing and focus on what's good

for you and hopefully one day you guys can come back together um but i do think a very important part of having adult friendships is allowing space for people to grow at different paces for people to do different things at different paces and it's okay if you need to take time away um when you're younger i feel like when you take time away from a relationship it's like you gotta burn bridges and this relationship is over and i'm never gonna speak to them again or whatever it is but really it doesn't have to be like a full breakup it doesn't have to be that fucking deep you know sometimes you can just be like yeah no i'm good and maybe you don't see each other as often but hopefully one day you can reconnect but once you set your boundaries and you state hey i'm

just not going out but i would love to like do this with you it really is a give and take when it comes to relationships you make the plans they show up they make the plans you show up whichever way it is you have to be able to make space for each other and if you can't sometimes you just need to distance yourself a little bit until you can come back together and you will eventually i think you promise there's no reason to burn any bridges um but yeah like if you don't want to go out to the clubs sometimes just be like hey i'll hit you guys up when i want to go out but you guys have fun and then they know to wait for you a little bit and you to wait for them um but this is a very realistic part of having adult friendships and people growing at different

paces there's nothing wrong with this um a very normal part but at the end of the day you got to do what's best for you speaking up for yourself is important and staying true to what you want to do is important so keep doing you and everything will work out well i pinky promise what to do on resting days oh great question i feel like if i don't utilize okay my days off is like so this day's a resting day this day's like a high energy explore day you know what i mean and they have to be one or the other they cannot be both because my resting days are my in-depth self-care days i'm talking me time from when i wake up to when i go to bed me me time if i want to lay in rotten bed that's what i'm gonna do if i want to you know i don't know paint that's what

I'm gonna do if I want to you know get sushi that's what I'm gonna do if I want to do face mess that's what I'm gonna do if I want to randomly just like manically vacuum my whole entire house guess what that's what I'm gonna do but it really is just based on the vibes at the time and delegating that specific day or days to self-care days once I establish that like title in my head I don't feel as bad saying no to things so it's like when I'm rotting in bed and someone texts me and is like let's go out come on bitch let's go out it's like I can say no and not feel bad I can be like nope girl self-care day I'm staying inside love you though have fun it really just takes away kind of that pressure you feel and you can also be like

but tomorrow tomorrow's my going out explore day so what are you doing tomorrow let's delegate that day to more of like a getting out exploring like connecting with the world rather than my day today which is really focused on me me me me and maybe your self-care day is going out to the club cool vibes please do but i feel like really delegating a day putting a title on it makes you feel more not only in control that day but it makes you feel less bad about putting yourself first if you have that issue i definitely did in the past after practicing this tool for a while i definitely do not feel bad about putting myself first anymore because who else is gonna put me first let's be real uh but yeah your self-care days can look like anything your resting days

can look like anything don't be afraid to say no indulge in the feelings that you're having on those days if you need to sleep in go for it if you want to lay around and watch movies all day go for it if you want to go buy a puzzle and do a puzzle in a day literally go for it if you want to get coffee and you never get coffee or you want to get sushi and you never eat out girl treat yourself watch a mukbang and eat you know what i mean but it really is about indulging in that feeling that you are having for that specific delegated day and not telling yourself no because a lot of people tell you no and you shouldn't tell yourself no on those days honestly what's a day gonna do you're not gonna go out and spend like a thousand dollars

who has that to spend right now let's be real so like treat yourself a little bit have fun say no to obligations but delegate a day tips for self-discipline oh great question i know people are like girl you just gotta get up and fucking do it you just gotta do it but it's like yeah girl yeah I do have to do it but like I don't want to I don't want to I don't want to go around the treadmill for an hour I don't really want to shower right now I don't want to brush my teeth you know like it's like little things like that that it's hard to really develop that just do it mindset Nike don't come for me but they had something you know they they had something going there you're right just do it but it's not that simple it really isn't especially if you're

your own worst enemy like doing good things for you sometimes the hardest thing ever and that's when you need to realize like no i'm the problem i'm the problem it's me i'm the problem it's me literally like you have to get so fucking tired and fed up of yourself that you're just like you know what fuck it i'm over it i'm gonna go fucking work out i'm done of making I'm tired making excuses I'm done putting myself on the back burner I'm done not prioritizing myself I need to start fucking doing this I'm over it let's get up and fucking do it you really have to become just like so exhausted of yourself it's like when you get tired of a friend who is just like let me put it in this kind of way it's like say your friend is

dating this horrible awful guy and every single time she hangs out with you she's just like oh but he's horrible and he's awful and he's horrible and he's awful but I just and you're like girl leave him like it's so simple you just you just got to do it like you just got to break up with him she's like I know but he's horrible and he's awful and he's horrible and he's awful it's like this horrible toxic cycle of her just like complaining complaining complaining complaining but not doing anything about it and you just want to like grab her shoulders and shake her and be like scream in her face and be like bitch break up with that ugly ass man do better for you please you gotta feel that way towards yourself it literally is like you wanting to shake your

own shoulders and be like but get the fuck up and do it you gotta get tired of yourself you gotta get exhausted with yourself quite frankly and honestly that's how I do things in life not the best advice but honestly like look around look at the task you have to do look at the thing you have to do the new practice you want to bring into your life the only person who is stopping you from doing it is yourself you're the only person putting thoughts in your brains that you can't fucking do it maybe there are toxic people around you are doing that as well but that's a whole other problem and definitely should not keep that around you um but like you are the only person really putting a stop to you doing the things that you want to fucking do once you make that

connection in your brain and you're like oh no these thoughts i'm having are self-sabotaging i'm not helping myself by not doing the thing i want to do maybe i am my own worst enemy that's when you start getting the motivation that's when you start thinking okay well now i just need to fucking do it and then once you do it a couple times as i've said before once you work something it's your routine and a routine takes at least like two weeks of doing something maybe three once you get to that point it's so simple it's become a part of your routine now i never thought i would tell you guys i the one thing i really look forward to every single day is my little 20 minute pilates routine that i do who would have fucking thought i've been just sitting and rotting

for the past two years till one day i looked at myself and i said bitch get up i'm so tired like i obviously don't want to sit on the couch every single day all day until i have to do something like i want to get up and move my body why am i i know i want this why am i not allowing myself to do it like there was no rational thought in my head that really was telling me not to do it but i wasn't allowing myself to feed into that healthy behavior and finally i got sick and fucking tired of myself and i said you know what bitch get up get up get on the fucking floor put on a pilates routine 20 minutes 20 minutes your life is nothing let's do it let's try it and now that I've done it a few times you know putting it into my routine I've been doing it for a couple

weeks like my brain now craves it I crave it it's something that I've wanted for so long and I don't know why my body just like or my brain wouldn't let me do it but I got so fucking sick and tired of myself that finally it's just like fuck it what do I have to lose you know what I mean this is not healthy behavior I don't know why I can't call the doctors and make an appointment why is my body not let me do it it's so simple you are sometimes your own worst friend and you have to realize when you are inhabiting those behaviors and you need to recognize them and then make a step to kind of like combat them okay i made a dentist appointment i was so scared i was like oh no i hate calling the doctors made a desperate appointment and like i think i was on the phone

for 30 seconds 30 seconds it took me months get up do it realize when you are being your own worst friend and start being a better friend to yourself someone asks is it oh wait i lost the question is it wrong to support best friend cheating if you don't like her boyfriend listen that boyfriend can be a piece of shit but cheating is just like bad karma bad karma all around even if you hate the man like why are you cheating on him just break up with him break up with him why would you cheat when you can break up that's just like my ultimate thought no matter what no matter who's doing it but cheating is just like such a violation on people and so horrible to do and even if you're doing it for like quote unquote a good reason you will face some sort of very bad karmic reaction

because of that like the ultimate thing you can do to really get your lick back on a man who has hurt you is to break up with him and never speak to him again now you're stooping to their level you're doing something just as awful that they have done simply not fair unless they've cheated on you if they cheated on you i mean and then you cheat i guess that's just an open relationship like why would you do that just break up best thing you can do ever ever ever ever in any sort situation if a man wrongs you if your partner wrongs you whoever it is break up with them i'm begging so many people are against breaking up like what girl if you're not having a good time if this man is not listening to you if he's not honoring you if he's not supporting you uplifting

you break up break up move on with your life go out pretend like that person never fucking existed that is the ultimate get back someone asked opinions on blunts versus bowls i hate blunts i hate blunts i hate blunts and listen i love the effects they give you know what we used to do in high school which is so fucked up and we called these snaps which i don't think they're actually called snaps i don't know what they're called i'm i know the term for snaps now is just like a small bowl that you hit and you clear it but a bowl would be something that you share with other people so snap would be something quick but in high school what we did is we took raw tobacco and we mixed it with um flour weed and then we would fill the bowl and smoke the whole thing

and that's what we called a snap because it felt like your brain was like snapping in half um because it would just be like straight nicotine and weed directly to the brain directly to the brain not healthy do not do 10 out of 10 do not recommend but we did that and then I was like now I'm 18 I can go buy wraps let me go just go smoke blunts all the time you know um so in college my freshman year of college we were only smoking blunts I was facing a blunt by myself at like 4 p.m after class do not do I almost dropped out do not do PSA don't face a blunt by yourself at 4 p.m after your class you got homework to do girl also blunts aren't good for you i would be like remember this one day where we're like let's have a girl's day and we rolled up

specifically the white grape white owls those are the best blunts that i have ever tasted my entire life but we rolled like 12 of them 12 white grape white owls and because i love my friends it was always like all my weed because sharing is caring and that's just how i feel but we rolled up fucking so many of these and then we got also any sort of story i tell from my past is usually like a cautionary tale it's not like do this thing it's like please don't i'm begging oh my god i made such a big mistake but we faced like all 12 of these blunts in the car on this like 20 minute drive to this beautiful overlook and i remember being so high at this overlook and just like the nicotine high so bad anyways the reason i hate blunts into the bane of

my existence is because they break you out like crazy they do any sort of nicotine is going to just cause your skin to disintegrate off your fucking face if you're ripping that back in the day we had jewels that's what we had but if you're ripping you're like i don't even know what they're cold anymore because i can't smoke them because they make me sick but like the any sort of like nicotine if you're smoking it i feel so old like not knowing the name all of my friends have it like they all are nicotine addicted but i just can't i can't for the sake of my skin literally it's going to disintegrate your skin off your face it's going to destroy the collagen i have never had this bad of a breakout and i went on accutane before this and i knew it was the blunts

because i was on accutane my skin cleared up then i started smoking blunts like every single fucking day and i had the worst skin of my entire life whenever i was smoking blunts whenever whenever i was smoking cigarettes whenever i had my jewel it wasn't i whenever i was hitting nicotine constantly worst skin of my entire life i'm talking two to three new cystic acne spots on my body somewhere usually my face every single day not to mention five to ten little white heads and it was all because of the nicotine because guess what then I almost dropped out and I moved back in with my parents for the summer and I couldn't smoke I couldn't I didn't wasn't smoking blunts I really wasn't smoking cigs anymore I was like maybe hitting my little pipe out of my window

every once in a while but I definitely couldn't smoke blunts anymore it was just like not on the menu girl you can't do it sorry boohoo you almost dropped out we're gonna face a bull every once in a while but my skin cleared up who would have fucking thought who would have thought and now I just can't go back because looking back at pictures and just like knowing how much pain I was in because of this acne and like how awful my skin was because of the nicotine they are so bad for you blunt specifically because when you smoke it it's not that far away from your face and with the joint sure it's close to your face but the smoke is pretty pure because it's just weed and a little bit of paper and it's also not as thick with a nicotine like with a tobacco wrap and it's

sort of blunt that smoke is thick it's greasy it's going to immediately blow back into your fucking face and stick to your face and not only is your skin disintegrating from the inside but it's also disintegrating from the outside because the smoke is blowing into your face and like even if you're blowing it away there's still gonna be a residue blunts are the bane of my existence i love a bowl i do especially filtering um not a bowl as in like a like a pipe i don't like a pipe bowl i like a bowl as in a bong which i think is what we're all thinking but just to be clear here i love a bowl filters the smoke you don't really get any uh smoke residue around your face you can chill it if you put some ice in there what's better than that um and you can really control

how much you're smoking a little bit if you want to take a little snap a lot if you want a bowl and you want to share with friends fantastic beautiful i do love joints more than anything else because they're just like so cunty and sexy and it's like there's nothing hotter than just like fucking hot ass acrylic nails with a joint in the middle smoking that with red lipstick on or like on my couch or like naked or anywhere I don't care very sexy hot slutty cunty whatever word you're thinking of bowls more practical everyday use probably I would say vaporizers are the healthiest option but bowls are they're up there definitely all right girl buckle up I need to vent so I went out last night to the club we went dancing we got a little drunky had a good

time. I woke up this morning, realized my purse and my North Face coat are nowhere to be found. I called the bar. They do not have it. I was like, you know what? It's fine. I can live without it. I can just turn off my credit card, right? And apply for a new one. It's fine. Well, I realized after I was like, okay, it's fine. That my passport was in there too. And I'm leaving the country in January or I'm supposed to be so now I'm gonna have to like go through the whole process of reapplying for one and probably pay a bunch of money to expedite it oh my gosh girl I can't I can't I can't pro tip I do think you can go to one of those like expedited passport places or call the U.S. government or wherever you are and they can get you one ASAP if you tell

them what happened I think look into that but I do think things will work out for you I pinky promise but yeah the phenomenon of waking up after the club and not having anything oh scary that's why you need to have like a club purse the same way of like club shoes a club purse okay don't bring a coat with you you're gonna get in the uber you're gonna get out of the uber get inside as fast as you can you don't need a jacket you're probably gonna lose it i promise okay pro tip don't bring a jacket have a club purse this club purse should be tiny tiny smallest purse ever you're gonna have your ig in there you're gonna have your debit card or cash or whatever you're gonna have chapstick ibuprofen that's it that's all you need you don't need anything more

and ideally the ultimate club purse i'd hate like an over-the-shoulder purse but when it's like an over-the-shoulder like body purse it's not gonna like fall off of you um so that's really helpful like a cross body something that's like not gonna fall off your body but i always just make sure i have like a small little backpack purse small little something that i can put the the necessities in there and i won't forget okay you need like a small club purse don't put your whole life in there id debit card lip stuff boom pow maybe some ibuprofen so you're not hung over the next day but that's all you need minimalist when you go to the club very minimalist because if you bring too much you're gonna lose it you're gonna lose it but i promise you'll figure it out

i've been there a few times and yeah yeah it's it definitely is a learning lesson that's for sure someone said boyfriend wants to try new things during sex what should i suggest i don't know girl the the world is your oyster you can do anything you want well no no no no consent important only things you enjoy please suggest don't feel pressured into anything but girl i don't know try it all like get creative that's the fun part about sex is like it doesn't have to be i mean it can be if you like it valid i see you girl but it doesn't have to be like boring missionary sex every single time you can get fun with it you can get creative with it sometimes it's good to like talk about it like as like a teaser before you get in there kind of feel out

the vibes bring it up see if they like it if they're into it you know test out the ideas because I feel like when you're in the bedroom and then you spring something on somebody there's a little bit too much pressure like have a conversation beforehand let them know what you're thinking give a little back and forth see how they're feeling about it and then go from there um but as a way of like discovering what you like I don't know I don't know I wish tumblr porn was still around sad sad day the world changed for the worst when tumblr porn got rid of all I need are those little six second black and white gifs that's all I need you know that was made for the girlies and they said no girly porn not allowed oh I miss it that's where I learned everything

that I was interested in that's literally I'm like hmm let me go back in my bank of just like tumblr gifs and what I enjoyed and go from there also if you have no idea and you're also like porn eh don't really want to consume not going to explore there as a way of understanding what i want to like you two need to hold hands and walk to the sex store together not literally but like go in it together great way of exploring different things you want to try they have everything there everything everything they have like alien dildos that lay eggs like i'm talking everything i'm not saying do that i mean if you want to valid but go there walk around look at things don't be like two 13 year olds looking at things like giggle giggle giggle laugh

laugh ha ha hee hee no like take it seriously this is sex you're two adults who are consenting who are exploring be mature about the whole thing okay go in look around explore and get like two things you know maybe it's like a edible panty i don't know maybe it's like a flavored condom i like anything anything they have everything maybe it's like a nipple oh my god i got this like a nipple balm that's like strawberry flavored so when you suck on your nipples it's like strawberry flavored crazy fun who would have thought i didn't until i went to a sex store and i found it and i tried it so going together look around find some things come home play around cook dinner together take a shower go to bed fantastic fantastic date night oh my god

someone said they're missing my story times and i feel like i have a lot of story times for today so speaking of someone said got dumped over text out of nowhere last week i didn't see it coming still shocked um yeah so you want to hear my story i'll make you feel better i will i'll make you feel better i promise because i will share my experience with you and you'll be like oh shit we're in it together so first boyfriend i ever dated was in college i didn't really date anybody in high school i was too depressed to really think about boys which honestly was probably the best choice i ever had for my mental health because i mean like i have troubles with relationships like now like i couldn't imagine how crazy i'd be at fucking 16 don't date men

until you're older please just focus on yourself you're so young and beautiful you're gonna be so successful like just avoid boys or just like at all costs please because then a majority of your brain power gets taken up by them and they just simply don't deserve that anyways I got to my first relationship when I was 18 I would have to say 18 18 definitely 18 and we dated for like a year so we got together beginning of the school year my first year freshman year college we got together and we were dating up until the winter time and you know we spent like almost every night together we hung out all the time we were in love in love he was an Aquarius keep that in mind for the story very much so like love love love love disappear out of nowhere that's very much so

Aquarius but you know thank god because I wasn't gonna leave and someone needed to that's for sure but and you don't know that until you look back on the situation and you will look back on your situation and think the same exact thing I pinky promise you but winter break dun dun dun so hard for relationships in college lots of things go haywire but usually it's for the best once again so he went back to Florida red flag number one he went back to Florida for winter break to go live with his mom and i went back home to kansas city you know to live with my family and everything was good you know he's talking about i can't wait to see you let's we're planning a new year's eve party like i can't wait to give you your christmas present we had just like had a big christmas

you know gift exchange with me him and my roommate who were all really good friends we just got into like christmas parties together we're on like week number one without each other we're like facetiming every day all signs are good I'm saying those things because it's like out of nowhere a day before Christmas I was supposed to go to like a Christmas exchange with my friends here in my hometown and an hour before that I get a phone call from him he's like we need to talk not to mention I should probably mention this a day before he's like I found some DMT and I think I'm gonna try it and I was like okay vibes you know do your DMT have fun babe good luck and so he does his DMT I don't hear from him I don't hear from him

for like six hours just at the time was a while because you know you're in a relationship you're like good morning good morning how are you oh daily updates didn't hear from him finally get a phone call that evening I pick it up I'm like hey what's going on and I get the we need to talk at least it was a phone call text is a little rough but I also did get the we need to talk text which is just as scary this phone call is I tell you maybe two minutes long he's like hey I tripped my balls off I talked to my mom I don't think we should be together uh yeah period and like hung up and I was just there like what the fuck things were going so good we had plans for the future I've been having a great time and all of a sudden in the six hours you just completely

flip everything on me everything everything and right before Christmas bitch I gotta be with my family tomorrow for like 12 hours straight and you're gonna make me go through these emotions alone on christmas death death penalty men oh they always have the audacity horrible evil awful but but but but that's me saying no i feel you it's it can be bad especially when you're young and people don't know how to handle their emotions and they think a text suffices especially to try and summarize that much time spent together at least do a in-person conversation if you don't have the balls to do at least an in-person conversation unless your safety is compromised then you are allowed to ghost absolutely but if you have given time to this

person they've given time to you you owe them at least an in-person conversation anyways piece of shit moved to california perhaps homeless now so who won the situation me me and my ass is too sweet too nice always he's the best in people this man was not the man for me he was not at the time though when you're young and in love and infatuated like those feelings are so strong they really keep you stuck thank god he broke up with me because i would just simply have not had the balls to do so and i would i know he would have been stuck in a situation that would not have been healthy for me that would not have allowed me to grow and develop and become the person that i am now thank god he broke up with me thank god he

moved to a different state so i never had to see him again shout out i don't remember his name that's how much i blocked it out of my fucking brain but i do know looking back what am i fucking 23 five years yeah i did the math right i actually had to think about that one wow shocking I need to start doing math every single day anyways five years looking back thank god thank god I am out of that situation thank god I he did not stick around and I like basically dodged a bullet you will be at my age one day looking back saying the exact same things to you now I did have to go through you know the month at home really just like processing those emotions and spending time with myself and I wrote a lot in my journal during that time just getting my emotions out and

putting them in a place where they didn't have to stick with me um because that's a lot of burden to carry with you you have to get your emotions out somewhere go on a run put them into into a journal somewhere my notes app has been my savior so many fucking times you have to feel those emotions you have to process them and especially if they're like a first relationship they're gonna to be a lot heavier than any emotion you've probably dealt with in a while but they're not going to stick around forever you will find love again things will look up things will get better for you a pinky pinky promise you will fall in love with a man who's so great to you who's perfect for you who will not ghost you and text you to break up with him randomly one night you will

find a relationship that actually has respect in it and it will be better than you ever could have imagined so for now I'm sorry understand though that that person's a piece of shit and you dodged a bullet especially if they're gonna break up with you over text things will get better feel your emotions let them out but also like during this time take this moment to be like never again you know let's see what red flags I maybe missed out on and let's understand those and process those and remember those for next time let's ask myself what I want in my future relationship and work forward from there and don't settle for less this is a time to focus on you focus on what you want go after what you want you're no longer tied down by some fucking lame

man so spread your wings girly fly enjoy life um meet up with some friends have a good time i've definitely been on a few benders after every single breakup i've been in but i do think there's a healing property and letting yourself just completely open up to the universe and have a damn good time so i love you things will get better someone said i can't stop thinking about the issues going on around the world especially like palestine and i think a lot of people are sitting with this right now and absolutely feeling the weight of it all but i also think you can utilize that energy into doing something um like you don't have to sit with that dread i challenge you to go work at like a soup kitchen i challenge you to go like put together small goodie bags for

the homeless people um around your town and hand them out um i challenge you to go get like a child on the what are they called the angel trees at walmart i think the best influencer trend recently has been rich ass influencers going and getting a um like a few kids from the angel trees and just buying a shit ton of toys for them wholesome good energy absolutely that's what you should channel it into i think people who um sit with this dread and the dreads very valid like these are very intensive emotions and like it's they're very hard to sit with so don't allow yourself to sit with them you know what i mean push them into something good um our local like um dog shelters need volunteers to go walk the dogs in the afternoons um i think you can actually go adopt

not adopt but like you know how with the kids on the angel tree you can go like quote unquote adopt a dog but just like buy them all the goodies they need so they can go to a new home with the things that they love you know so they have like a blanket in their kennel at night I think you can do it with the cats here too um but there are things you can do for your local community that when you do feel this dread you can give for you can pay it forward and you can give back also i know there's um many different if you have the monetary gains like maybe you can't go to these places to help but you can monetarily give there are so many great organizations to donate to um to pay forward literally like if you're gonna do anything with your money girl do you really

need that shein shirt or can you donate like eight dollars to a fund of your choice um so you can kind of not only sit and understand the validity of these feelings but do something with them um pay pay it forward to the community and especially during the holidays like what a perfect time to do so um I always like giving back to my community helping out in any way possible and I do think if you're having a really hard time with this which is valid and real and yes a lot of us are and there's nothing wrong with that like of course you should be feeling these this way over this horrible thing that's happening but also don't forget to like utilize that want to do something good to go out and do something good you know and there's so many different

community resources around you just look at different places um that might need help i know there's different facebook groups you can join um for your local community that needs help posting your neighborhood ask app ask post in your neighborhood app and ask people you know what are their favorite shelters to donate to or to give their time to or to work with um I think that's a great reminder especially during this holiday season that you know we are very fortunate and even if you can't give anything monetary wise maybe you can give your time um lend an ear to somebody who needs just simply listening um lend your time to somebody who needs help um but yeah i have the worst cotton mouth right now this is your psa to drink water literally the weed

espresso combo right now is killing me i also wanted to include the specific palestinian um relief fund that i donated to so you can if you want to um i believe it's hasan's campaign but it's on tiltify and it's called palestinian medical assistance you can donate anything from like ten dollars to i mean thousands if you have it um but the funds will go to uh anera palestinian children's relief fund palestine crescent society and medical aid to palestinians if you don't have money the best thing you can do as like a form of protest is to simply not give your money to the people that you don't agree with such as like starbucks girlies you can skip your starbucks for the week i promise go support your local companies like you don't need your starbucks

that fucking bad especially when they simply don't give a fuck about the general population and simply care about making money very simple very simple someone asked new year's resolutions i haven't come up with my specific resolutions yet oh my god let me tell you my resolutions for last year do do bear with me as I go back in time on my Instagram um but I think now is the time to start thinking about your future like future new year rather than later in the month because now is when you start enacting things into your life not on January 1st and I understand I'm the best way to understand this is for me personally I have to really sit with the thought for a while before I am able to enact something so the idea behind this is if you are sitting with this thought

now then at the end of the month around January that will be the easiest time for you to actually enact instead of it being a new idea that you have to jump right into think of it as like a slow burn situation my new year's resolution for last year was development is a virtue experience live music you are not cursed forever there is joy in nature and get better on purpose i feel like those are pretty good i feel like that was a really good summary of 2023 last year i went to a cabaret show and i think i'm doing the same thing this year because there's nothing fucking else to do and it was really bougie it was fun i was like okay free champagne hello um but i have just started working on my new year's resolutions i will share those with you when the time comes

but this is your psa to start looking forward asking yourself what you want to do who do you want to become what do you want to include in your life um and yeah i think the first step is always a vision board a mood board i just posted my mood board on the patreon my patreon is under hannah marlene if you want to join i'll be creating some videos for the week this week which will be fun i've missed sitting and chatting with you guys in video form um just including you with my like daily vlogs but if you want to see my mood board for the new year it is on there this is your psa start looking forward start dreaming towards the new year someone asked do i have any trips coming up no but it's driving me insane that i don't and i'm

really trying to plan some fun things um especially maybe for like valentine's day i don't know like fuck it last valentine's day i was in seattle and honestly great city loved it fantastic i thought was gonna be freezing fucking cold when i was there but we just needed like a jacket and we were good and it was clear skies every day no rain we were there for like three days it was great and then we also went to oregon big twilight vibes maybe i'll just take my boyfriend on like a oregon twilight tour for valentine's day um but i wanted to plan a trip maybe for february and then sometime in june like after my birthday i think me and my like childhood friends are going on a big road trip together across the United States we want to do like a eight-day trip up

to Yellowstone and just get out and explore and live our best like I don't know cowboy lifestyle and just like get through Colorado go to Utah go up to Yellowstone and just be in nature be with each other and that'll be super fun um and that's really all I've planned right now I really want to do maybe something towards the end of the summer maybe like fallish maybe get back out to LA maybe go to LA for February I've been missing LA a lot I need a palm tree in front of me ASAP like I don't even care if it's cold in LA I just love the vibes there I always thought I would be a New York girly and no hate to New York none none whatsoever love New York it's incredible it is such a insane the city there's so much to do so much to see um I need to get back there again soon but my heart

belongs in LA will I ever move there I don't know expensive might be underwater soon but it is a fantastic place to visit um and to go explore and there's a bunch of new like cannabis things I want to try out there like um there's a bunch of new cannabis lounges that I want to go to so I can like smoke and hang out I know some girlies who live there that I would love to connect with um but yeah that's really all I've planned once again new year's resolutions things I'm looking forward to is travel I need to travel a little bit more and in order to travel as often I was as I would like you really have to plan ahead I'm talking like six months in advance that's how you get the cheap flights that's how you get the cheap hotels you gotta think about what you want to do

during that month buy it six months in advance pay it off if you need to and then boom all of a sudden it feels like you have free vacation but yeah I definitely need to plan accordingly great longer question I love when I get a long question in my dms I think people think they're annoying me when they dm me long questions no no no no babe I love it I love it sometimes the questionnaire is not long enough in my instagram and it's like three different parts and they're all mismatched and i'm like my brain cannot follow but i love you sending kisses like if you have a long question feel free to just send it to my dms she's open i promise like i will see your question i promise anyways someone said for the pod if you want absolutely hi hannah a lot of

my manifestations have been coming to life lately and it's the best feeling ever but i feel like i'm just taking from the universe and not giving back like a greedy bitch lmao how do i give back thank the universe for everything she's helped me gain love you stay hot um there's a few things that come to mind a like i said previously giving back physically to your community outreach programs donation based programs um things like that fantastic amazing great number two you need to do some um what's it called just be grateful you know get in your journal write down four or five things from the day that you're grateful for that you appreciate give thanks to the universe daily um like especially when you're feeling like oh my god all these things are coming to me like

but you know i want to give back in some sort of way do your gratitude journal okay write it out verbalize it identify key things that you're thankful for and give thanks important um and number three if you're a spiritual girly and you have an altar space i especially working with like um i don't know i pulled a card i got this new goddess deck of cards um from a thrift store and it was brand new never opened i opened it i was like oh my god who's gonna be the first person I pull out shuffle shuffle shuffle Aphrodite love it if you like giving back to the universe and more of like a um of course incorporate the first two incorporate all three if you can but if you're spiritual you have an altar space physically giving things to your altar

such as money um fruits um anything anything that you identify with that you want to place on your altar and giving it like that way is a fantastic way to practice um gratitude and giving thanks to the universe and like a spiritual practice so a physically give back to your community be um gratitude journal especially to give thanks be thankful for the things you get every single day simply being able to wake up having fresh water having clean clothes it can be simple it can be big whatever give thanks identify and then see if you are spiritual if you like to practice if you have an altar space giving to your altar um anything that you identify with that you are thankful for in your everyday life putting that onto your altar space and like praying over it

is another fantastic way as well love you you're not a greedy bitch you are deserving of everything you've ever possibly wanted and dreamed of but yes it is important to always give thanks for the things we do have hi anna i've definitely sent you messages before i've literally been listening since before you even made the podcast like I remember when you announced you were making the podcast and I was like so happy but anyway my issue today is I am like a chronic relationship girly I've been in relationships back to back since I was 14 and I'm 22 now and I am single finally and I have like a situationship that's really great like we're very comfortable but like we have really good boundaries and like we're not dating and like I know that's what's best for me

right now but I like he told me like oh I can't date you right now and I like broke down in tears even though I can't date him either so how do I like get out of the like mindset of wanting a relationship even when I know that's not what I need right now and like keep this situationship healthy anyway thank you bye love you I'm not gonna lie girl I think you need a break from men altogether when you find yourself like back-to-back relationships needing to be in something whether it's a situation ship or relationship to feel fulfilled feeling like you need male attention to feel fulfilled constantly being on dating apps in order to feel fulfillment that's like not it's not a healthy place to be and think about what you could be doing if you were diverting all of

that energy into yourself seriously like i think you could create and become something so brilliant and incredible but it is genuinely so sad seeing women just like lose all of their time and everything to just men i understand wanting companionship and all that but once again it's like are you in a situationship for the sake of finding love or are you in a situationship for the sake of not being alone and that's a question that everybody needs to ask themselves at some point and it's okay to be alone it's okay i promise once you get like comfortable with being with yourself you i think every woman needs to get comfortable with being with themselves because once you get comfortable being alone it takes a lot for you to give that up for you to divert

your energy away from yourself and I think in order to establish like healthy relationships in that sort of sense you need to be comfortable with your aloneness so you're not willing to give up so much for these mediocre relationships I mean yeah if you don't want to be in a relationship and this guy doesn't want to be in a relationship then maybe this is the best companionship option for you but also like you are looking for that ultimate like you want to be wanted by a man and him saying he doesn't want to date you of course hurts but it's like you don't want to date him so ask yourself why are you fiending so much for his approval in a sense to date you why do you need that why do you crave it so much sit with yourself ask yourself that but i promise being

alone is not so scary i love being alone i am my own best friend and is the best feeling in the world literally i never run out of things to do with myself but it took time it took time being with myself being alone learning about myself learning to love myself learning what i like what i dislike what i want to do with my time and that came from simply being alone and not having any other outside distractions i'm talking outside distractions such as men men men you don't need them you don't you don't need them women can create human life from inside out bring life into the world we are so magical we are so beautiful stop putting yourself aside for mediocre man's attention okay it's not gonna make you feel whole i promise spend some time alone i

dare you especially if you're having these realizations you're like wait a minute wait i'm falling into unnecessary patterns and behaviors step in girl i promise you can do it you just got to get sick and tired of yourself you know what i mean talking about earlier sometimes you just got to be like over it girl we need better we got to discover more about ourselves lean into that side of life i think you can discover some really amazing things i promise someone asked what did my spotify wrapped look like this year um i haven't really shared it because it's basically the same rendition of what my spotify wrapped was last year just a little bit different orders but i'll share it with you guys my number one was callie uchis of of course

actually i'm kind of surprised my number two wasn't my number one my number two was lana del rey my number three was tyler the creator my number four was mac miller my number five was um all 10 out of 10 recommend all very famous artists with vast you know creations so much of music to indulge in and yeah i love all of them i really wish i would have listened to more music this year um i definitely didn't spend as much time listening to music as i would have liked to discovering new artists as i would have liked to um so i think that's my one of my goals for this new year is to spend more time listening to music you know that like downtime you have when your house is just silent like put on a spotify playlist like just shuffle it discover

new things discover new music I feel like music has such a way of moving us and driving us and I really want to tap into that energy this year a little bit more than I did last year but yeah Kelly Uchis, Lana Del Rey, Tyler the Creator, Mac Miller, Kay Trinata, icons, legends, love oh wait and I'll share my top songs as well so then you can listen to those if you want I want some specifics but my number one was Run It Up um Tyler the Creator number two was Worth the Wait Kali Uchis number three was Drive Me Crazy Lil Yachty um number four was Pro Freak oh so good I love that song and number five was Art Deco yeah someone asked having confidence riding dick for real for real for real girl the the best tip i can give you

about having confidence while riding dick is kind of the same with blowjobs the more fun you're having the more fun they're gonna have like if you're having a blast on top just like bounce around having a good time they're gonna be having a blast but it's like when i enter those kind of realms of like oh all of a sudden i'm thinking way too much about myself and like me being on top and being perceived and now i'm like having an out-of-body experience and now i'm not having any fun like fuck that you're here to have fun you're here to get pleasure okay especially if you're on top or giving a blowjob so dare to have some fun dare to bounce around a little bit you know just like literally like you don't have to do anything crazy you don't have to be on in splits

on top of him if you can wow a plus girl but I definitely can't so the best thing I can do is just have fun and make it feel good for me that's really all that matters I think this is a great last question I know I know podcast coming to an end I've had a blast though maybe it's because my espresso is just making my brain move a thousand miles per minute and I'm sure you guys love that like when I hear Trisha Paytas talk I'm like yes finally someone's talking in the perfect speed for me it's like that's what I try and do actually I don't even try that's just like naturally how it comes on my body um but someone said I lost the question I lost it oh yes how can I be more kind I've recently been really mean and it's not me girl help I feel you I feel you I feel

you every person is going to fall into the mean girl mindset at some point and you either get out of it or you get stuck in it and when you get out of it guess what your life will go up but if you get stuck in it your life will go down no one likes a mean girl okay that's the one thing I had to recognize and realize no one likes a mean girl I had to stop and I sit down with myself and be like if anybody else was acting this way around me I would never speak to them again and it wasn't just because like like I wasn't I wasn't being mean to random people it was more so like just like mean to the people around me whether it was like my family or my boyfriend and it was just like they do not deserve that and if they were behaving that way towards me I would immediately

distance myself and it is just simply not fair no one likes a mean girl no one does it will never get you further in life it will never you know pushing someone down will never push you up in any sort of way um it will just constantly push you down and that is just not a healthy mindset to be in sometimes in my mean girl era i really just need to get my back blown out like when i have a bad attitude sometimes I just need to like experience a lot of pleasure and you know get some dick and move on with my life and that's a very cathartic way to you know get back into the right mindset sometimes I need to just like smoke some weed I saw this tweet the other day that was so funny it was like I literally don't know anybody who could benefit from smoking a little weed more

than my mom like literally girl you're so stressed out life's not that serious you don't have to be so mean smoke some weed change your mindset but ultimately i think the best way to really fix that mean girl mindset is being like no one would fucking like this if they had to live in my brain or be around me right now and that's not only not fair to myself but the people around me and being a unapproachable mean person is not cute it's not hot it's not sexy it's not fun and in fact it's like turning you into a gremlin and no one wants to be around that mean little gremlin I promise you I promise you no one wants to be around that and kind of having that realization especially when you find yourself like constantly in like a mean girl thought pattern

whether it's against other people against yourself or maybe both is realizing like no one likes this including yourself you don't like behaving that way so why the fuck are you doing it why the fuck are you doing it and you are not going to give me a reason that has any sort of realistic purpose in this world oh i'm mean because it makes me feel better does it really does it really are you mean to other people because you're mean to yourself because you hate yourself do you hate other people because you hate yourself yeah that's not making you feel any better that's just pushing yourself down along with other people that's you distancing yourself from other people because you don't feel like you deserve to make a connection with them um you don't feel like they

deserve to make a connection with you that's not fair to not only yourself but the people around you and it's closing yourself off from so many bountiful opportunities out there the bravest thing you can be is kind kind to yourself kind to other people kind to people who don't deserve it that's the bravest thing you can be and it's the best way to deliver yourself real beneficial karma on the daily is to be nice no matter what literally listen we all need to get a little gossip out every once in a while we got to get our little you know i just need a bitch and complain for five minutes that's valid that's real you need to feel those emotions because i feel i find some people get stuck in either like a i'm way too nice about everything or i'm way too mean about

everything two emotions can exist at once okay you can feel both things throughout your life and it's okay to dislike something but that does not give you a room to be disrespectful to be inconsiderate to be mean to be nasty quite frankly there is no room in this world for that and if you bring that into your world it's gonna follow you tenfold tenfold just because you're like closing yourself off to the world doesn't mean that negativity isn't gonna follow you you know surrounding yourself with negativity is not gonna make you immune to it the best thing to make yourself immune to it is to simply step into kindness step into acceptance step into love as much as you can and understand like shit's not that deep putting that much mean girl energy into

something is a lot it takes a lot of energy to be mean it really does it takes a lot of energy to be mean stop wasting your energy on things that just simply are not fulfilling you that are not getting you places that are not opening the universe up to you you're gonna get much further being kind and putting real energy into being kind than you will putting energy into being mean and listen it's okay to get your little you know you're having a bad day you just need to complain or cry like that's valid that's real but once you just start seeing the negatives in everything you are going to be a shell of a human being your energy is going to be drained the people around you are going to be drained you are not going to want to do anything or experience anything

and that is just not a way to live i've been there before i know what it feels like hating yourself and everything around you is the most exhausting way to live and it's just simply not fair to yourself you do not deserve that the other people the people around you do not deserve that so step into a better life for yourself step into a better mindset i think the best way the ultimate best way to combat this way of thinking and to really step into your nice girl energy is to not only give gratitude which is what we talked about before which is going to in a broad sense of things identify daily habits and daily things throughout your life which will then make you subconsciously look through them throughout your daily life

but also compliment everything around you when you walk by a mirror i don't care if you look disgusting compliment something about yourself when you walk by someone compliment them doesn't matter who they are you don't have to compliment them out loud you don't have to compliment yourself out loud but just mentally take a note of it even if you're like damn i can't find anything find something like a customer will scream at me and i'll be like they deserve jail time but also i can be like that bitch is unhinged i'm surprised i came out of her mouth like you know what props for just being crazy and out loud you know like compliment everybody around you it'll subconsciously create your brain to go down paths that are a little bit more positive

that will seek out subconsciously the positive it'll redirect that mean girl energy into something a little bit kinder not only to yourself but also to everybody around you no one wants to be around a mean girl no one likes that i don't care what people are telling you maybe you're around other mean girls who are you know like you but guess what you're not safe from them they're putting you down when you're not around or maybe they're putting you down when you are around them but that's not energy you need to be around that's not energy you're deserving of that's not energy that anybody should be forced to carry with them it's exhausting it's tiring free yourselves i promise really though sometimes like when i'm a mean girl i really just need some dick i just need

to i just i need to get the shit fucked out of me and just chill chill smoke a bowl chill girl it's never that deep but seriously it takes way more energy to be mean than it is to be got be kind and once you learn to redirect that thought process and you understand that there's nothing cool about being the mean person it doesn't uplift you in any way it doesn't put you ahead of anybody it really just puts you down what's the benefit really what are you getting out of this because quite honestly it sounds like you're just hurting yourself and that's not what we do here on the smoke slash podcast we identify negative behaviors and we fix them and we smoke a bowl together we celebrate what's better than that anyways i love you all i think this is the end of

the podcast i need to make me a little lunch and put on some chapstick my lips are so dry chug some water do my pilates routine who knows what the night holds for me i think today is very much so a self-care day that is what i'm labeling it so i'm only indulging in things that i feel deserving of tonight maybe i'll get some tacos or quesadilla a little jalapeno what's better binge watch some tv we've been watching fargo new season fantastic great amazing especially if you love like a female lead badass female lead fantastic i love this new season 10 out of 10 recommend watching um gonna dive into my Sophia Coppola book a little bit more dream a little bit have some fun clean up my apartment smoke some weed perfect self-care day what can I say but I love you all if you are

doing your finals soon I believe in you you can do this you will get through it you will have a break coming up keep that energy going focus on yourself focus on uplifting yourself literally visualize yourself like graduating understand that this small moment is leading up to something so big you will complete it you will get through it it is hard but it's designed to be hard you're not the only person struggling right now you will get through it even if you fail who cares go to your financial advisor talk to them figure it out everything will work out in your favor no matter what sometimes the hardest challenges are the best but you will have a great break coming up soon you get a chill relax focus on a little bit more self-care but do the best you can

right now and i will see you all so very soon