Smoke Sesh - mid 20's, binge eating, plastic surgery & TikTok ban

Episode Date: January 21, 2025

hello hotties and happy Tuesday! welcome back to the internets favorite smoke sesh, we have a packed episode as we question roulette through as many questions as we can! first, we gotta catch up on what I've been up to as well as the TikTok ban... propaganda, feeling used, and spilling secrets. we also chat making space for blessings from the universe and creating room in your life, filling the void with anything but a screen, eating healthy and binge eating, how to find a balance, making money from your hobbies, being a chef, why do men ghost? does making a mistake make you a horrible person, awkwardness after sex, fixing yourself, botox and plastic surgery while young, how to handle weird men, corn addiction in relationships and when to leave, sex on the first date, how to ride face, mid 20's awkwardness, and finally why so much chaos? what's going on in the universe and astrology update for you all, if you want to see more from me join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty, follow the instagram hannahmarlene and if you want to see what im up to on TikTok follow fairysmokemother for more! stay sane, safe, and sexy and we will chat soon! MUAH!

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales, using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations,

more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hotties of the world and welcome back to the internet's favorite smoke sesh my name is your host and i'm so excited to be back with you guys on this beautiful little tuesday

how the hell are we all doing are we all hanging in there i feel like the chaotic energy just keeps building and building and keeps going so strap in do the best you can try and stay as emotionally secure as you possibly can this is not the time to crash out this is not the time to release all your secrets okay we have a mars retrograde going on right now in cancer which is causing people to be a little bit more a little bit more testy a little bit more aggressive than they honestly should be um we have a lot to catch up on the most important thing not having nothing to do with me and everything to do with the tiktok ban yes yes what the fuck was that what the fuck was that so last time we talked you know it was still kind of up in the air like are they gonna do it

are they not gonna do it there was rumors going around of maybe they're going to stop it maybe they are going to cancel it who knows it's gonna happen this day it's not gonna happen this day this like back and forth energy which is just so toxic and draining talk about a negative situationship like I don't need that with my comfort apps okay it just generally doing the most it's Tuesday so we've been through a full swing of emotions recently is it going to be banned it won't be banned it'll be banned at midnight actually 8 30 okay now it actually is banned I thought I had until midnight so best believe I had Sunday off I was scrolling my little heart away scrolling my little heart away taking in as much content as possible because genuinely

i thought it was going to be gone for quite some time i thought it was going to be like poof disappear she is done for and i talked about this last time i was kind of happy about it like listen i you could say grew up on tiktok i gained my recognition or most of my followers i'm sure you guys most of you guys have seen me on tiktok as well and i thank tiktok for that i am appreciative of the growth that it gave me of the creative ability that it you know offered me of the outreach that it offered me but but you have to understand when the negatives when the cons outweigh the pros if i'm being honest i haven't posted there in like two plus years on my main account which most of you guys probably uh found me on which is smokes at shoddy i haven't posted

there since like maybe 2022 maybe 2023 so long ago though and then on my spam account which i do post like quote unquote a little bit more regularly like maybe once every other month not posting there that often genuinely just a consumer of the app mostly so i understand all of you other consumers and there was like a sure an air of panic when it was being taken away and I feel like in two avenues there's air of panic from the consumers who are like well what am I gonna do with my eight hours of screen time every day that I'm just scrolling what am I gonna do for my escapism now it was sort of that kind of panic and then obviously the panic of people who have money involved whether it's small businesses or you're an influencer and you do all of your

partnerships like your job is tiktok we saw a lot of that panicking too in conjunction with what we have going on in the stars considering the mars and cancer we also saw a lot of people kind of coming out of the woodworks and spilling their guts for literally no reason other than like one last chance at having clout on the app which is like not worth selling your soul for maybe a million likes like girl you're not gonna get paid for that anyways like why are you spilling all your secrets why are you basically throwing in your career but it brought people out of the woodworks it showed us who they truly were which i am thankful for but also like that was crazy and cuckoo a little bit overall people were panicking people were like what the fuck's going

on and we thought i thought i had until midnight and then 8 30 rolled around i was elbow deep in a crab boil maybe my boyfriend's favorite thing recently has been crab boils listen we had one for new year's eve and we were like oh wow this this is fantastic why have we not been getting this more often so we got it again on sunday we were like elbow deep in this hot ass butter i pick up my phone after eating it's gone i'm sorry this app has been banned in the united states along with some heavy heavy propaganda of we're working with president trump we'll get into that we'll get into that not only did they ban tiktok but they banned cap cut that is the one thing that i'm really pissed off about because i use that app for like almost all of my editing

like if you've seen any of my recipe videos on Instagram I specifically use that app for editing because it's just so streamlined and so easy I love it it's fantastic it's so user-friendly I'm very appreciative for apps who really take in to account the average person and maybe not like a person with a arts and editing degree like no the average user can use this Adobe Premiere is just so fucking complicated it will take me like months to learn how to use it cap cut was so seamless so easy when i tried to open that app and it was banned what the fuck that was where the true heartbreak was but tiktok was banned and genuinely i feel like i felt a collective sigh of relief there is a understanding with everybody who uses the app that maybe it's not

the healthiest relation that we might have you know like sure you can say you get creativity on there you find new ideas new inspiration new travel plans new outfit ideas sure yes but overall like I said the cons kind of outweigh the pros when it comes to our lives being taken up so much with this phone addiction with this scrolling addiction and I do think TikTok introduced that to us like never before on instagram i can only scroll for so long on pinterest i can only scroll for so long on tumblr i can only scroll for so long but tiktok hours seem to mesh into each other and you just lose so much of your time and i think even though it was short term literally maybe 14 hours what the fuck but as soon as it came back everybody was kind of like

oh oh this is what we're doing this is what we're doing now huh listen i raised you all to be smart and aware if you're going to sit here and scream and shout and jump up and down thinking trump then i really need you to find a new podcast i really do because obviously you've heard zero of the words i'm saying we are all basically just pawns i need you to understand that and i don't want you to like succumb or feel the boot on your neck so much that you just like cooperate i just need you to have a little bit of class consciousness and awareness i think this mediocre attempt at a power struggle really open people's eyes the donald trump dick sucking notification every time you open the app is a clear sign of that like you might as well zip him up when you're fucking done

bitch it's like when a parent takes away a favorite toy or a privilege from a screaming child it's to show power hey look at what i can do to you the data means nothing they already collect so much of it from every other platform thanks to meta or elon musk but thank god people are realizing wow they really think they can fuck with us at the end of the day everyone came back but i think they wish they were gone longer i saw so many videos that were like you know i was just about to open that book or i was just about to change my life but they just fell back into tiktok like oh i wish it was gone longer i could have gone you know like a week i could have actually taken some time like 14 hours girl that's nothing you know that was just overnight truly for me

i was not gonna miss tiktok you can find that content everywhere else we did see people kind of start heading to reels and heading to other platforms um and if that's what we were left with people would have adapted and started using that sure my monkey brain addicted to colorful videos and cute sounds is going to miss the app for obvious addict reasons but the nostalgia of it all was what i truly was going to miss i did go back through all my old videos and it's crazy to see how much i've grown like especially on my other account i first started posting on tiktok when i literally post breakup with my ex i was in the car sobbing driving home so funny and seeing how much i have grown from like that molly rat girl phase into this beautiful grown woman that

i truly am was inspiring taking the time to like go back and see all those videos see what i'm doing like it's crazy to see how much I've grown and I miss that I didn't make more content in the recent years because it truly was like a video diary it was very cathartic when I was consistently posting from a creative outlet so for me the band did kind of have like a positive uh sort of rewiring of my brain a we're all pawns like bitch you have to realize that like this has nothing to do with Donald Trump saving the world and everything to do with a power they want to show that they have power over you that they can do this to you please please be aware of the narcissistic tendencies you have to be smart especially during this time i think it also was

kind of the wake-up call most people needed of how addicted they truly are to this app and how much they the power struggle struggle within themselves is when it comes to constantly using an app or constantly escaping into something i actually did if you want to join the patreon i did kind of an astrology update talking about all everything that's going on such as we're finally in Aquarius season Venus is in Pisces Mars is in Cancer when I was talking about it I was like I really don't see anything in the stars signaling that like TikTok is going to come back or that there's going to be a big shift and I think that was because it was gone for such a little amount of time that it truly made no difference like there was no big astrological happening that was

pointing to any sort of big change or big movement and safe to say this short-term band was not powerful enough it did not have the power behind it that maybe the people who implemented it were idealizing to happen especially with us being in Aquarius season like focus on where you're pouring your cup what are you filling up what truly fills you up where are you flowing into what is serving you what is not serving you the Aquariuses that I have met especially like I've dated an Aquarius like I get it when they are like truly a healed version of themselves or like a self-confident version of themselves there is that negative tendency that some people might experience where they feel like maybe Aquariuses are too self-involved but personally I think there's a

lot to learn from that and I do think there is a power in understanding what you want and going after it no matter what. So during Aquarius season, please be aware of the relations and the attachments that you do have. What are you pouring your cup into? Is it truly filling you back up? Is it a worthwhile relationship? Two in five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca

this episode is brought to you by Accenture when your advertising operations fall out of sync everything else follows Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. What do you want? How do you want to adjust your life? How do you want to live your life and how can you move forward? I do think this will kind of be the breath of fresh air that maybe most of us needed to have that self-confidence and with mars and cancer like we saw everybody spilling

their guts and their secrets and their sentimental goodbye videos like girl it's okay to keep it inside do not let your emotions control you you are in control of your emotions and when you feel out of control it means you need to take a step back all right but yeah post ban i actually came back and i made a couple little videos if you want to go watch um i do miss the nostalgia aspect like i said it feels nice to get a creative spark back that i think that truly comes from a feeling of want not need it's okay if you need to step away or put the paintbrush down for a second and try something else out but you'll always be called back oh it was just so silly and so stupid and yeah overall major dumb energy when it comes to the whole tiktok ban 14 hours like you could have

you could have let it gone for at least a week or something you could have let it gone a little bit longer made people actually sweat but when it comes to a narcissistic person they want to be the savior too fast and you know that facade is immediately broken please please be aware of the power dynamics you need to be smart please i'm begging you anyways the day i'm filming this is monday it is inauguration day oh we don't have to talk about that you know we're here to have fun and share a little laugh and have a good fucking time so we won't bring that up but please be safe and smart out there as we move forward into the next four years with that being said those are really all my updates for the week i didn't do a whole lot this weekend really just rested relaxed

had a good time ate a crab boil took care of myself what else can a girl do with a couple days off danger health update he's doing good i did panic bring him to the vet again does anybody else have health anxiety not about yourself but your pets like i'm constantly googling and researching like is this normal behavior is this okay and he was just scratching himself a lot i think he has environmental allergies from where i live it's a very vintage old building as you can tell from the ancient fireplace behind me and I love it it has a bunch of quirks amazing but also my neighbors downstairs smoke at least two packs inside a day and I think his skin is itchy from that so that's what the vet said he also gave him flea medicine he said he's healing up good from

his abscess you know clean bill of health we love it fantastic I'm starting to look at houses a little bit where i want to move how i want to grow change and prepare for spring and summer so i can truly live my best life and navigate through the negative nine degree weather that we are facing right now yeah yeah oh this winter this winter why is it lasting so long i hope you guys are staying hot and healthy though with that being said enough of my rambling let's get into everything that's on your minds I always ask like what the vibes are of the week and someone said energetic cleanse quit my job full send cut my nails breaking ego to build it back up again real I think some of you and this goes for me as well I'm not saying put yourself into a predicament you know in order

to grow I don't want you to ever put yourself in a situation that is going to ultimately harm you in the long run because you didn't think it through but there is something to be said about when you are entering or want to enter a new era of your life when you're trying to bring newness in you have to create space for it whether it is like okay i want a new job let me go maybe take a day off work to apply to 15 16 25 50 different places let me go in person let me call them let me take this one thing away to fill it with something else maybe it's okay i'm really trying to manifest love maybe i want to manifest love a partner a good person in my life let me get rid of every fuck boy in my roster let me cut every single one of them out and whoever fills

their place whoever finds their way here whoever you know the universe gives me after clearing space clearing the negative out of my life you know maybe that's someone i should possibly consider it's like picking the weeds out of a garden so then the plants that you did plant the seed of that do need to grow have room to do so tips on other things to fill the void in a healthy way now that tiktok isn't working well it's working again but i do think this was the jump scare some of you guys needed of being like wow how much of my time truly goes to an app that benefits me in zero ways what is going on i'm kind of sad they didn't ban tiktok because a lot of you need a hobby or pick up a book straight up i think the best way to do this and to kind of like

supplement healthy things in a good way is to just be more aware of your habits and your behaviors when you are unaware of your habits and behaviors it's very easy to get caught up in the routine of it all to forget what's going on because you know when you're walking around with their fucking hand over your eyes like yeah you can't see shit bitch you're not gonna be aware but even when it comes to like overspending the men you're in love with the apps that you're addicted to what you're doing with your time if you actually like your job you have to be aware of what's going on specifically for me this kind of revolves in the money aspect I've really been into budgeting lately so being aware of what money comes in where money goes giving myself a little bit of a budget you know

cutting back on spending being overall aware of what the fuck my card is getting charged for because why am I subscribed to Amazon three times hmm that's sketchy as fuck let me cancel all three now because why the fuck did you do that when it comes to tiktok or being addicted to these social media apps let me look at my screen time how many hours on average am i using this app wow that's crazy i'm using it for six hours that's too much time i can allocate at least one hour of that time to something else to a hobby to knitting to painting to taking a class to reading a book to picking up a magazine even going and running errands whatever it is you can kind of budget that hour a little bit into different things and i highly recommend you

paying attention to what you're doing because the people who are in control of you who do have the power who do have the money want you to not be paying attention so consider it your own personal act of resistance and taking control of your life tips to eat healthier I constantly find myself binging and need to stop okay so yeah I found myself in this really negative spiral when I was a vegan I thought being a vegan was like the epitome of health it was like 2016 like of course that was the trend everybody was vegan to be healthy to save the planet whatever it may be and a lot of that was me like oh i'm gonna eat a healthy little salad and maybe an apple for breakfast and blah blah blah obviously not getting enough nutrients obviously restricting and then my

body eventually hits a wall where it's like bitch you need to eat something you're losing your mind and then i would binge i would binge everything i'd binge chicken sandwiches i'd binge things that were not vegan I would just go insane and it is a very very toxic cycle which is why I'm here to tell you healthy is not less calories healthy is not like the only salads only apples vegan diet I think McDonald's can be healthy you're like bitch what what I think Chick-fil-a can be healthy I think chipotle can be healthy I think pizza can be healthy I think ice cream can be healthy it is all about how much you're eating okay you can eat whatever you want it is all healthy in the grand scheme of things when you down 15 chick-fil-a sandwiches that's not healthy

but if you're having a craving and you need to fulfill a certain food group it's okay to do so i'm not gonna say you only need to eat vegetables you only need to eat organic you only need to eat like these quote-unquote healthy things because you're gonna end up in that binge cycle again because you're not fulfilling your needs and your wants you have to fulfill like both it has to be kind of like this this balancing act between the two which is why i love the kind of 80 20 rule you know 80% of the time I am eating whole foods I'm gonna try and you know maybe have a yogurt bowl for breakfast or a good oatmeal something that is what I made it is fairly healthy but it's very filling it's nutritious let me throw some frozen fruit on top of it let me have a green

smoothie whatever it is for lunch let me make sure I'm getting my protein in I'm getting some greens I'm getting some grains whatever it may be and then the 20% of the time like yeah I'm going to face that frozen pizza to the dome but i did good 80 of the time so it's okay to indulge in these little things that i want it's okay to go out and have my favorite fast food once a week it's okay to have that bowl of ice cream at the end of the day it truly is about balance but restriction will never get you healthy restriction is never going to make you have a healthy relationship with food you're going to start hating food you're going to start hating yourself because you don't have enough energy you're not getting enough energy you're not getting any fulfillment

and then you're going to fall back into this binge cycle of well i'm just going to eat everything in my fucking kitchen because i haven't eaten in days i feel like my body's about to shut down i'm cranky i'm hangry i'm just it's it's such a self-negative cycle it really is which is why i suggest cooking cooking for yourself is the healthiest thing you can do i don't care if you're cooking a homemade pizza i don't care if you're cooking something quote-unquote unhealthy simply making it for yourself and using whole ingredients in that way is going to make that unhealthy thing a little bit healthier but yeah i hate this idea that like oh you can only eat organic vegetables 24 7 like that's the only way to be healthy bitch fuck that eat what you want

i'm a big proponent of eat what you want cook as much as you can for yourself eat until you're full and then stop that will help with the binging and restricting cycle how do you feel about spending money specifically on hobbies that give you no financial return it is a capitalist construct to believe that you should only be participating in hobbies that bring you financial return no no the one way to kill your creativity is to put money in front of it sure when it works out that oh you know i really enjoy doing this thing and i'm making money this just happened to fall into my lap fantastic but when you pick up hobbies which hobbies are supposed to be fun enjoyment escapism connection to self and you switch that and flip it and turn it into oh i need to finish

this extra stitch because i need to make 25 i i have to i have to i have to you're going to kill that creativity i highly encourage you to pick up a hobby if you're going to pick up a hobby pick up a hobby that you can't make money on that you don't want to make money on and truly just fulfills your soul have you ever worked as a chef no i have never worked in the back before i've never worked in a kitchen because kitchens are one of the most toxic places ever to be a part of at all they are so incredibly toxic it's full of crazy male testosterone and way too much cocaine and they're all screaming at each other and bitch if you put me back there and you expect me to allow these men to speak to me the way they speak to each other i will quit on the spot i will

leave immediately absolutely so no i've never worked as a chef i don't i've never worked as a personal chef either other than to my boyfriend when he throws down some crazy dick let's be real no i've never done that i think like i said cooking is kind of a hobby that does bring me joy a i can kind of like zone out and put myself into something maybe with a podcast in the background maybe with some music maybe with a movie um work on something and then have something really delicious and tasty come out of it like the reels that i make when it comes to like my cooking recipes i don't make money off of those i truly just hope to inspire more people to cook for themselves i think there's so much you can take out of it so many positives that you can take out

of it and most importantly something really fucking delicious i am posting a new recipe this week it should be up either tomorrow or today and it's one of my favorite recipes i make this at least once a week it's chicken curry katsu oh it's so good it's so good so easy delicious anybody can make it check it out instagram.com slash hannah marlene why do you think men ghost can't figure out what gives them the audacity illy love you uh it's because they don't care they don't give a fuck they know that's the easy out they know from childhood that when their mom starts yelling at them or starts wanting to have a hard conversation with them they can just go upstairs and slam their fucking door closed and not have to talk about it

yeah that's basically what they're doing in your face and it is disrespect it is it's it's very disrespectful and i need you guys to be aware of that i need you to be aware of these manipulative male behaviors i need you to cut out the situationships because girl i cannot answer any more questions about them it hurts my soul every time i hear of a girl that's in a situationship literally an angel loses its wings but when it comes to ghosting specifically and like oh i'm interested in this man you know we went on a date now he won't respond it's because he doesn't care about you it's not because he's playing this game it's not because he's playing mind games it's not because oh maybe he just forgot to text you it's because he doesn't want

to talk to you and he doesn't care enough to give you a reason why i hate to give you that harsh harsh answer but please if someone's going to be real with you best believe it's going to be me how can i forgive myself for past mistakes how can i learn my lesson and move on oh i feel this i really do i used to be the girl who was like i'd make a mistake but then i'm so sensitive i'm so sensitive and just aware that i would basically like beat myself over the head constantly about it like every single second of the day months later years later it's me just being mean to myself and you know keep bringing up the topic and hating on myself because of it oh you were a bad person you did this bad thing you're a bad person you did this bad thing like whoa feeling guilty is not

going to make you a better person it's not it is kind of a step in a in a right direction because the people who truly are bad people don't feel guilty in general about anything that they do but i do think if you don't break that cycle of feeling guilty and actually like address the situation and move on you are just as guilty as the people who don't give a fuck your suffering is not going to resolve the situation sometimes listen we are all human we are all human beings no one here is perfect every single person here has made a mistake every single person here has been a bitch has been a bully has been whatever you want to call it whatever mistake you want to consider it every person here has done that thing we are all human it is normal it's okay to feel

guilty about the things that you did but if you don't address it and say you know what i don't want to be that person i don't want to be the person doing these things i feel bad let me take the step to apologize it doesn't have to be you know received but at least i put myself out there addressed it within myself and kept moving forward the best thing you can do to become a better person is know what you did wrong and not do it again not do it again those people who hurt you over and over and over again they go i'm so sorry i'm so sorry and they do it again it's because they're not taking the time to learn within themselves they're not taking the time to really address the problem some people know oh they can say sorry really quickly and then maybe that's

going to resolve everything i don't actually have to take accountability real accountability comes through your actions and what you do what that lesson you take from it is how you move in the future sure you can live with this heavy heavy guilt inside you forever but that's not going to fix anything the only thing that's going to fix that is in the future not continuing these negative behaviors and actions find peace in that find peace in tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to behave correctly your guilty conscious is not going to fix the situation you taking the steps in the right direction and refusing to behave like that ever again is find peace and understanding that you always have the choice to do better period Hannah I fucked my roommate because I

was drunk and now it's weird help haha listen as a young as a young young you know little little sprout little bean when I was working in the restaurant industry all my co-workers were fucking each other I had no idea though I mean they were all 30 I was just like there to clock in and make money and leave but they were all 30 they were all fucking each other and the only reason i didn't know is because they didn't make it weird there is this mindset where it's like if i'm gonna fuck somebody that i see every single day and have no attachment to you have to be aware of that decision that you're making and the decision that you're making is a commitment to not make it weird okay it really is so if you did a thing and it's kind of like a oh i did a thing

you know not that big of a deal let's not make it weird you gotta release the weirdness you gotta just keep behaving as if everything's normal you gotta keep behaving as if you're normal roommates oh that was just a fun little one-off thing let's forget that let's keep moving forward it's gonna suck at first it's probably gonna feel like you're like slowly ripping a band-aid off or it's a little awkward or uncomfortable that's okay just keep keep moving forward because my co-workers worked so well with each other had no idea they were all fucking each other because of the commitment to not being awkward about it the commitment of like we see each other and we don't want to ruin each other's lives so let's just have our fun and then

when we clock into work or clock into being roomies like let's have that commitment to each other to not be weirdos so it's okay to feel that weird energy but like don't run away don't start like treating them as an other or as this like mistake because that's just gonna make the roommate situation so much worse another reason why i'm like don't fuck your co-workers because a lot of people just don't understand how to have that boundary it's it's hard to have casual sex a lot of people are not good at having casual sex i think it's kind of against human nature to engage in casual sex without emotions like very naturally so so if you're going to have casual sex especially with somebody who you spend a lot of time with be committed to not being weird help how do i fix

myself dare i say there is no fixing you're like no bitch like i'm flawed everything's wrong with me everything's wrong with me is it is it or do you just need a fucking break hmm do you just need a moment do you just need a breather I think all of us collectively kind of just need like a step away a deep breath listen I am a self-improvement podcast sure I like to provide hope I like to provide inspiration I like to provide a little laugh here and there but I don't want to like turn into a podcast where it's like you're doing something wrong you're doing something wrong you're doing something wrong in that form of self-improvement I think it's okay to address sometimes you just need you just need to chill you just need to exist you don't always have to

be working on yourself you don't always have to think there's something wrong with you sure change and growth is important but in between those momentary shifts in change and growth there is going to be downtime it is what it is i do think that when you're constantly trying to fix something you're telling yourself it's broken you know when you're constantly like but i need to change but i need to do this but i need to do this you're constantly kind of like reinforcing this negative idea in yourself that it's like i'm wrong i'm not behaving correctly even though you're doing good in life which all of you probably are all of you are probably in places that are really healthy and amazing you need to address that you don't have to constantly be looking

towards the next thing looking towards the next idea fixing all of these made-up problems in your head sometimes you just gotta sit down and be like damn bitch i'm proud of you you did that let's take a little break let's take a breather let's enjoy this moment in time that we have managed to get to let's seek joy in this daily life in this moment let's just try to have a little bit of fun you know what i mean let's try and have a a good time you don't always have to be down on yourself or searching for something to fix or attempting to you know repair something or diving into yourself in these hard philosophical ways sure if you're feeling up to it absolutely if you feel like you need to go ahead but make sure you're taking time to rest and enjoy that

you have grown through hard things and you have put in the work and you've made it to where you are now you aren't a problem to be solved but a life to be experienced thoughts on botox i'm 25 and have some lines between my eyebrows that i hate help listen 25 in my opinion is too young for botox there is no such thing as preventative botox the girlies who get plastic surgery and have it look good is because they're doing it in the right timeline and if you are under 30 i genuinely believe you don't need botox now if it's a medical reason like i know you can use botox for like too much sweating or certain things like that sure if it's something that you and your doctor have come up with fantastic but if it's for cosmetic reasons if you are under 30 and you keep

getting so many injections by the time you're mid 30s where you still kind of should look young you are going to look old as hell there's one thing i've learned from all of these videos of like me dissolving all 800 milliliters of my filler and you know stopping my botox the people always look way younger after they do it now i'm not against people getting a little thing here and there if you want to get a little lip filler if you want to get a little chin filler to you know up your self-confidence I'm not one to yuck someone's yum but if it's something so small as two three centimeter creases between your eyebrows I think you just need to take a step away from the mirror and stop paying attention to it so much if you take a step away from the mirror if you do

your makeup three feet away from the mirror every single day you will stop realizing oh my god those lines on my forehead you'll stop noticing those things i used to think like oh my god my pores are so big my pores are so big like i need to do something about my pores girl it's because you have a mirror two fucking inches from your face in reality no one is looking at your pores like that it's just you so there's a lot of things to keep in mind here you know have you tried like um working on your relation with yourself and you know the hyper fixation of little things about yourself like have you tried to work on the hyper fixation of it all or is it genuinely something that's like really bothering you and something that is going to bring you like a little bit of

peace a little bit of self-love a little bit of self-care one might say really really think about why you're doing it I'm not against girls getting plastic surgery I am against girls doing it because they feel bad about themselves and they feel the need to change themselves it should come from a place of self-worth not self-lack I know in the future though I will be getting titties I will be getting titties I will be getting fake titties at some point I don't know when I envision myself at like 35 it's with just like triple d massive boobs I don't know why it either they're gonna naturally grow which they might my mom I mean has fantastic ones she's like you just got to get pregnant girl like they'll naturally come in oh okay listen it's cheaper to get a fake pair

than it is to have a child but I know probably I'll eventually do that maybe lip filler eventually i don't know it's something that i've always thought about but also like is it worth spending the money on no that's something you really got to think about how to deal with creepy older co-workers hitting on you you have to shame them you have to shame them in public especially i had a co-worker like this at the last place i worked weird balding constantly commenting about women i don't know very odd we were both gemini's though so like i understood how i could shame him and the best way to do that was just in front of other people and have other people around so when i made fun of him they laughed with me you know it wasn't just like us against each other it was

like no i need other people to be aware of your behaviors and how bad they are and how embarrassing it is for you I remember one time like I went to the bathroom I ripped my dab pen I was in there for a couple minutes like bitch we don't get breaks at work let me go rip my dab pen in peace and scroll on my phone for like maybe two minutes and I came out and he was like wow you were in there a long time like I timed you like that's insane and in front of a table that I was serving plus like three of my other co-workers I was like you're a little freak why the fuck would you time me in my in the bathroom that's such a weird thing to do like fucking freak and of course everybody around me laugh laugh at him tables rolling his eyes he's getting flustered he's walking away

people need to realize when their behavior is out of control and when we're not going to settle for that shit when you awkwardly laugh it off and walk away they feel empowered i understand if you're non-confrontational fantastic but there's a difference between between being non-confrontational and setting boundaries and allowing people to do certain things for to you so stand up for yourself make fun of him shame him it's like the the town fool you got to take him into public and shame him a little bit boyfriend is back into corn addiction and said he's been in chat rooms i want to throw up you should throw up you should throw up on his face on his clothes and then kick him the fuck out this is not okay this is step one before he starts you know going out and seeing

other women hiring them spending all of his money on only fans whatever it may be you need to leave immediately if this is what you want to settle for then go ahead you can be in love with somebody who is addicted to women and only sees them as sexual objects if that's the kind of love you want to settle for great good for you sounds like you got it but i know you're here because you know you deserve more and what you deserve is not going to come out of this man girl dump him leave him immediately you will feel so much more confident like i talked about in the beginning like it's okay if you're a bad person once once we're all bad people once but when it happens again and again and again and again and again it's because they don't give a fuck and they don't care that

they're a bad person they're going to keep doing these things you have to have pattern recognition babe he's not going to stop he's going to continue doing these things it's gonna make you feel worse or and worse or it's like staying with a cheater you know is this what you're deserving in life is this is this what you want in life no i know it's not because you're here you don't feel good about the situation you're asking for help the help has to come from you and what you're gonna do is get him the fuck out of your life it will bring back the self-confidence that you maybe have lost in the relationship by standing true to who you are and what you deserve kick him out now now there's no more time to waste sex on the first date what do you think illy um i'm not

against it so you from the way i talk about men and you know like sex and stuff you would probably be like no like what you're you're not against it no like when me and my boyfriend first met we were fucking four hours later like it is what it is it is what it is we were both like crazy horny like we were feeling it if you're feeling it you're feeling it if you want to have a fun time go ahead have a fun time now now if I'm putting myself in my shoes now and if I was single and if I was currently dating at my 25 year old age would I have sex in the first date probably not because I would want to maybe harbor a little bit more self-control I would probably want to kind of understand motives a little bit more get to know the person a little bit more

um things like that i was younger when i met my boyfriend i was 20 i was on every drug imaginable like there was no self-control obviously that's why it happened but now in my more sane sort of headspace that i'm in i probably would give it a couple dates you know a little bit of time i think it'll make the sex better sex on the first date fun you know fantastic you're gonna have a good time but if you really want to have good sex let that energy build up okay get fun get flirty maybe give a little thigh grab on the first date and don't let him touch you like let him sit there let him stew oh you hang out again sexual energy is going to be off the charts you're gonna be flirting you're gonna want to touch each other it's gonna

to be so much better i think if you wait now am i necessarily against you having sex on the first date no do whatever you want with your body whatever you're comfortable with whatever you think the situation calls for but there needs to be some thought process behind it and i do think sex will be better if you you know give it some time let that energy build how to ride face girl there shouldn't be much work when you're riding face if i'm being honest like i don't know have them lay down also have them with like a pillow behind their head don't have them just like flat on their fucking back and then the most comfortable position is not going to be like you on your knees with your hips up like as if you're just like kneeling on your knees you're gonna need to like

sit a little bit you could put your hands behind you and stabilize yourself on their chest and then you're kind of like leaning back in that sort of sense like almost if you're on your knees and then squatting as if you're almost sitting with your butt kind of on their neck and chest and then with your hands behind you to kind of like elevate yourself up a little bit almost like a hip bridge are you seeing the picture of what i'm describing here so don't like your your legs are gonna give out like when you're girl when you're getting your pussy ate like you should not be engaging in any muscles you're gonna spasm out you're going your legs are gonna get tired duh duh so you're gonna have to like sit a little bit i'm not saying sit your pussy on his face so he's

not breathing i mean if that's what you're into fantastic but it's more of like a lean back sit so then they got all the access all right all right and you shouldn't be doing much work i mean you can grind a little bit but they should be putting in most of the work how do you stay unbothered and let unselfaware bitches not get in your headspace i started viewing them just as like little chihuahuas who are like barking at your feet it's like bitch you're loud high-pitched running around sure but you're still beneath me down there making a lot of noise and that's more embarrassing than it is for you than it is for me you know it's like annoying little little dog yapping yapping yapping yapping you know it has they have no actual like power against you they

can't really harm you they have teeny tiny little teeth like if they do end up biting you it's kind of like oh nothing let me put a band-aid on and put you in time out um yeah you kind of have to view it that way especially when it comes to people who like see you and see your energy and want to steal from it like are jealous and then wanting to bring you down you always have to be aware of that you got to be like you know what they're existing in hell but i don't have to exist in hell with them and when they're behaving in behaviors that are their attempt to pull you down with them i think it's really important to address those things and be like that's weird that's weird why would you say that no i actually don't think that about myself wow i can't believe

you think so little of yourself i think a lot of it comes from people talking shit on themselves in hopes that you then talk shit about yourself to them so then they kind of have some dirt on you i feel like there's a lot of bonding that low vibrational people have when it comes to self hatred and uh refusing to engage in those behaviors as well as calling them out on talking shit about themselves like wow you know i think you're great i don't know why you would say anything like that about yourself wow i would never say anything like that about myself you know what i think i'm a little bit better than that i don't know why you feel that way about me it really kind of like flips the script and makes them think more about what they're doing

than thinking about you girl serving tips please just started we pool tips at my place we also pool tips at my place and if i'm going to give you one one one piece of advice about tip pooling if you don't know if you're not a server tip pooling is where everybody works for the tips and they all go into like basically a big pile and then everybody gets paid equally if you are at a tip pool place you should see a breakdown of every single person's tips based on our weekly and they should be emailing that to you if they're not doing that it is illegal also if somebody is clocked in as a manager and is making tips that technically is illegal be aware of your rights especially when it comes to your money that's my one piece of advice being 25 but not knowing what

i'm doing with my life feels like i'm 18 again because i'm still lost oh i hate to say it that's what 25 26 is about so your early 20s here's how it goes you're let's see 18 to 19 awkward awkward adult phase have no clue who you are that's okay you're not supposed to you basically are just focusing on living and breathing at that point in time 2021 I feel like is all about like being a little crazy you know 21 especially you're going out to bars you're having a good time in that sort of sense you're like allowing yourself to be a crazy adult almost to 22 22 to 23 is kind of like all right girl let's get our shit together let's actually start focusing on school let's start focusing on jobs let's start like dreaming of the future and then 25 26 you kind of hit this

reset where it's like all right I went through the 18 different emotions of becoming an adult and now I feel a little bit more settled I do think 25 and 26 is kind of the time where it's like the real reset when you're younger you know you feel that pressure but when you're 25 26 it's like all right frontal lobe formed i'm a little bit more stable now i've gotten the crazies out of the way i've figured out who i am a little bit more so the decisions that you do make now feel a little bit more true to yourself and will get you further than the decisions that you make when you're really really young um so you are probably feeling that pressure it's okay though because you can handle it you're not going to figure it out today but lean into those little

dreams that you do have when you envision 30 year old you, you know, what is she doing? What is she wearing? What is she participating in? What are her hobbies? Start small, but start implementing all of those little things. It's not going to happen overnight. It's not going to happen in a week. Start small, like I said, so then you can achieve the bigger, more harder things. But most importantly, don't be afraid to go after your dreams. The only person standing beside you is you the only person able to accomplish these things are you and sure that can feel like a lot of pressure but i feel like truly should take the pressure off of you because you already have the answers they're already inside yourself and let me give you a little trick here the answers are

not something you can sit around and think about the answers come from doing it trying it attempting new things putting yourself into new ideas and positions and trying out for that job trying this hobby whatever it may be that is the trick to learning who you are where you want to go and accomplishing your dreams so yeah you're probably feeling that pressure but don't let it overtake you into like submission into not doing anything with your life i guess this last portion of the podcast we can talk a little bit astrology updates because I keep getting questions like what the fuck is going on love you stay safe love you thank you for the kind words um there is a lot going on and that's why a lot of people are probably feeling a little awkward or weird or

like we're living in a different timeline what the fuck's going on I do think this is the start to a big transformation that we will all be a part of and the best thing you can really do is take accountability for yourself make sure your self is safe your loved ones are safe your neighbors are safe and strap in that's i think that's really all we can do right now um i uploaded an astrology update on patreon if you want to become a patreon member i love to have you patreon.com slash smoke says shawty but right now we have the sun in aquarius yes we are entering the flow of aquarius season during the cycle we are motivated by our hunger for knowledge experience and originality innovation is more important to us than convention we become more

aware of what is outdated in our lives and strive to find new perspectives and new ways to do things the class distinction structure and order that capricorn finds appealing which we were just in now seems to be too rigid the freedom of the individual becomes far more significant to us we strive to free ourselves from some of the restrictions inhibitions and limitations that now feel constraining rather than safe we're ready to change the world with new ideas we often let our heads leave over lead over our hearts during this time preferring a rational approach to life we also have venus in pisces we will be experiencing this transit january 2nd so we've kind of been in it but it'll go until february 4th and then we will also experience it again

march end of march to end of april pisces is a very dreamy or otherworldly sign so be prepared for borders and boundaries to blur or for falling in love with an idealized image of something or someone it's in venus so be aware of x's crawling out of the woodworks maybe some weird dreams you're having weird thoughts popping up you do not always have to act on every single thought or dream that you have little miss pisces it's devoted compassionate exceptionally giving and capable of sacrifice we might refer heavily on our intuition with our finances and love light during this cycle we gravitate to and appreciate unusual tossed aside poetic artistic objects situations and people we seek activities that move inspire or touch us this transition our

transit is not particularly strong for resolve or determination but it's good for adaptability and increased understanding or acceptance i've talked a bit about this but mars is in cancer okay january 6th till april 18th it is a mars retrograde until february 23rd we're very intuitive and can be moved to take action to bring peace or comfort and safety to our lives during this period we go to bat for our loved ones in fact we're fiercely protective it's a powerful period for putting ego matters aside so that we can push for uh forward on our plans inner satisfaction and love are genuinely more important to us than outer achievements at this time personal and domestic goals are our priority during this phase check in with self do not let emotions overtake you

do not release all of your secrets out into the void for no personal reason okay other than maybe you're just feeling emotional at the time be aware of your emotions where they're leading you and stay safe venus and saturn are aligned which can be good for analyzing reasoning and making sense of the world around us thus the kind of general consensus of what the fuck happened with tiktok fuck everything about that but we are inclined to simplify by eliminating non-essentials and parry pairing things down without compromising the message responsibility maturity quality and simplicity are attractive to us now while we can be conscious about expressing ourselves and our feelings we're paying more attention to being sincere honest and precise this time can make

hard things feel a little bit more reasoned easier to digest and accomplish whether it's love self home we are getting it in order and not living in this fantasy land anymore we are searching for more and taking care of what we have it's a good time to delve into a new hobby clean your home do that self-care routine everything is on the right track i promise you cannot let the chaos of the world around you distract from truly what is important to you what drives you what motivates you and ultimately what helps you grow um i love you hopefully we have a fantastic rest of our week i got my car hit at work on wednesday super fun thank you thank you queen for doing that um i do have your license plate i will be sending you a letter in the mail i i do need my 30 for a

new mirror yeah bitch anyways it i was not gonna let that distract me it did happen at 5 p.m as soon as we opened best believe i finished my shift i didn't turn into a bitch or a raging cunt like all the other people in my work would when one minor thing happens it's like what are you gonna do what are you gonna do it happened it is what it is let me focus on me and maintaining my positivity so I have to go over to my parents house my dad has to fix a few things on my cars I love my dad thank you for being able to help me in that sort of way because I know nothing about my about cars I also have my boyfriend for that reason like if I need something done with my car best believe he's on it yes we love a man around here so i'm gonna do that my boyfriend bought me

also a massive tub of lentil soup from my favorite mediterranean spot so i'm gonna eat a shit ton of that for lunch edit this podcast smoke some weed i know i didn't smoke with you guys today it's because i gotta go see my parents and actually function after this but smokable for me sending you all love during this time stay sane stay smart stay sexy and I'll see you all very soon two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear

of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Want to talk ETFs with the people behind them? join me, Etienne-Jean Cabouchard, on the Upside Ticker Talk. We dive into what's moving markets with timely analysis, trends, and answers to ETF questions you've actually been thinking about. Hit play on the Upside Ticker Talk and elevate your ETF investing IQ.