Smoke Sesh - new year new me, girl code & sober era

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Happy Tuesdayyyyy hotties so excited to be back for another episode! I’m sick, a little high, full of caffeine, and ready to dive into this weeks questions. We talk what I’ve been up to, New Year���s resolutions and goal setting, virginity & born again virgin, sober era and dry January, falling in love with your gay best friend, bad bosses and how to handle it, keeping the spark alive in a relationship and dating in the real world, what to do when you miss him, smoking herbs, when to leave, how to feel sexy when your rotting, go to gas station order, what are we? And when to have the conversation, girl code, pretty pussies, going over last years mood board, dating older men, and how to stay healthy during this sick season. Love you all so very much today was a fun episode even though I’m so sick, you guys always give me something to look forward to and I’m so grateful

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Hello hello, good morning, welcome back to another episode of Smoke Sash. i'm so excited to be back with you guys i there's a lot going on is there a lot yeah there's a lot i don't know like two things will be happening in my life and i'm like ah there's so much happening

my life is so busy i'm like girl you got two things on your to-do list let's be let's be for fucking real um i'm sick so if i have like a really hot sexy deep voice today that would be why um i'm pretty sure i've covid a little unsure because previously when i had covid i thought i was dying i thought i was dying but also during covid i was a government experiment and if anybody like me had the j and j vaccine which is like the first one they got rid of i feel like the the vaccine you get regularly it was two parts right so you get one you wait and then you get the other with the J&J they just they give it all to you they give it all to you and before I got the vaccine I did get COVID and I thought I was literally dying and then like worst illness ever

people are like oh it's just the flu no no no no like I was out for a week bad shit then I got the J&J thank you to the government experiment that I received during the vaccine times because now I have COVID and honestly it just feels like a stuffy nose so vaccines do work just an FYI shout out to J&J for that crazy ass serious ass vaccine they gave me because I think that's why I'm feeling as good as I do um but yeah I'm a little unsure I took a COVID test and you know the at-home COVID tests they're pretty just like I'm like why is this negative it shouldn't be negative like I feel like I have it but also I'm unsure I need to take another anyways I'm in the house today safe to say in the house a little stuffy drinking my coffee doing my thing might

pop an edible who knows but I had a good time this weekend before I got sick which is probably why I got sick my friend oh my god I'm so sad but I love her so much I know I'll see her again soon um she is officially she's been in KC for like three months she's a travel nurse and finally she's off to her new home her new place she's on the move shout out to my travel nurses such a great job uh how lucky literally like travel anywhere you want get a stipend to go anywhere you want fantastic love it I'm like you travel I'll visit you wherever you go great way to work things out but she is leaving Thursday um so we did a little celebratory weekend together we went out to like a speakeasy had some drinks drove drove to like another bar had some more

drinks had some fun woke up the next morning went to bottomless mimosas at hamburger mary's drag brunch threw a bunch of ones fantastic ended up at a different place got a pizza the size of my fucking coffee table which is actually four feet by four feet then we what else what else oh then we went to the dispensary well we took a nap then we went to the dispensary and we got a shit ton of edibles and then my new favorite hobby is like taking people to see salt burn and just like observing their reactions because simply sitting in that theater alone and hearing everybody around you's reactions is like what makes the movie so fun not only do you have no idea what's going on the entire time but also just being around people and experiencing that

firsthand like oh my god what the fuck am i watching is so fun i love it um main takeaway from that movie also jacob elordi so fine so hot like no words anyways we ate a bunch of edibles and went and saw that and i had the craziest like edible trip of my life in that movie i was like manually breathing and like there was one point where i was like oh fuck i forgot about this scene it just like kept getting worse and worse and i feel bad for my friends for doing that to them but also i think we had a blast too much fun um and yeah that was like my weekend a little too crazy but also is there such thing i tweeted out and it honestly did really good i was not expecting this i tweeted out and i was like if you want to follow me on twitter it's smokes

at shawty but i said no girl you weren't being weird and embarrassing when you were drunk last night you were just a silly girl being funny and honestly you're right i was just a silly girl being funny how dare i be anything else no i'm not embarrassing and weird i am having a good time being myself period cured my anxiety didn't have too bad of a hangover thank god i was mostly inhaling and consuming weed which is what keeps me mostly sane um but it was a blast but yeah i woke up on monday not feeling too hot not feeling too great immediately i was like i need a covid test i just have a feeling i have a feeling doesn't feel like a cold but it feels like cold adjacent and i've never felt anything like this before so covid test yeah um a little unsure on

that one so i am secluding myself in the house until a few days pass and i'll take another and see if i'm okay it gives me a good excuse to just sit on the couch and do some work speaking of work i have been putting in work for video podcasts and setting that up and it is going to be so fucking good so exciting oh my god literally i cannot wait to put these out in video format as well as audio as we always do um but it's just gonna be so good i edited up like our little intro and did some animations and did some art last night off my little edibles off my cold medicine and it is so freaking cute and i cannot wait to show you guys but that's really all i've been up to hustling and bustling looking forward to the new year i am doing like a whole new year's

new year's resolution uh planning for the new year's series on my patreon if you guys want to join i feel like my patreon i think it's under hannah marlene possibly smokes at shoddy either way you will find me if you want to join and get some extra content i post i've been on there for like a year and I post at least four five times a week and I try and do a video little vlog get ready with me something fun smoke with me I did a smoke and make coffee um last week uh video episode so if you want extra content from me you can find me there come hang out and do some new year's resolutions with us because yeah I really am looking forward to the new year because in a week it's going to be holidays and then in another week it's going to be January 1st so we might as

well start preparing now girls let's get on it okay anyways I know what you're here for I know you guys are ready to have a good time I know you have so many freaking questions first of all I would like to say if you are a girly going through finals week right now I just want to give you a little word of encouragement and tell you you're gonna get through it you're gonna do amazing you're gonna succeed and achieve all of your dreams even if it doesn't go exactly how you want it to go I promise it will work out for you keep putting in the hard work keep doing your best okay work hard it'll pay off you will get a break here soon but I believe in you all finals week is supposed to be as miserable as it is you are not the only one experiencing that

I pinky promise like everybody is experiencing that right now if you are in school finals week just sucks but think of it as the end of the marathon the end of the marathon is not going to be the most fun part it's not going to be the easiest part that last mile in a marathon is going to be the worst mile of your entire life but as soon as you cross that finish line it's going to feel so cathartic so good not only is it going to uplift your confidence in yourself your trust in yourself your belief in yourself but you will have gone through all of this not for nothing but to have achieved something at least. You don't need an A, okay? C's get degrees. You got this, except for in nursing school. That was fucked up. Remember in nursing school, they're like,

no, a B is a C. And I was like, what? B's are what I average. Like, what are we talking about here? Anyways, do your best. Love you. Let's get into some questions. Anyways, speaking of new year, someone said any tips on manifesting for the new year yes I do have many tips actually step number one I'm kind of going through like a three-part four-part process on my patreon but step number one is mood boarding you're going to want to mood board collect images collect quotes collect any sort of thing and you're going to collage them into one page of just a collection of what you want to see what you want to do who do you want to be what aesthetic do you like you know any sort of pretty picture it doesn't have to have like a specific meaning to you to it if you like

it that is the specific meaning do you know what i mean i use the app called bazaart b-a-z-a-a-r-t i believe for all of my collaging i do believe it costs money but i use it at least every single day to make at least new collages you know take notes whatever it may be i love that app many of you guys ask where i do collaging that's where it would be i think you can have a free trial maybe question mark but when i tell you i've been paying for this app since i was 13 this is not sponsored i just continuously have used it throughout my life um make a mood board okay go on pinterest take take an hour to yourself smoke a joint you know to drink your morning coffee put on some good music play this podcast okay something to have in the background and just

mood board you know collect what you want to envision for the next year and that will be your base layer of how you want to manifest okay very image-based feeling-based things that are connecting you to your intuition um very important to start off with next we gotta do like a reflect and goal setting sort of like work this i think is best done journaling in my opinion and i put on my patreon 21 questions for um journaling for new year's prompts but i will give you a few here as well basically what you're gonna want to do is for this year think of one word that encapsulates this year okay think of one one word that fully describes this year write it down next you're going to talk about your highs of this year then your lows you're going to talk about what you want

to achieve next year things that you learned from this year that you want to bring into next year things that you learned from this year that you don't want to bring into next year you're going to want to talk about financial goals, career goals, health and body goals for next year. And then you're going to want to find a word that you think will encapsulate next year. I feel like that is a pretty, pretty good list of getting your brain working, diving into some journaling, really figuring out you know the not the basics but the more intrinsic values of what did I go through this year what do

I want to bring into next year and what am I manifesting for next year and then last but not least this is the very easiest I think and most practical step in all of this it's you want to set yourself up for success. So sorry, my throat is killing me. But you don't want to do all of this and then have all these ideas and have all these goals and then get into the new year and it's just the same year that you had last year. You want to set yourself up for success. You need a planner. You need a calendar, okay? You need a journal where you can write out your thoughts, put it all together. Very practical, useful things for your everyday life where you can manage your life get it together planners love them I think everybody needs a planner especially my ADHD

girlies you need a planner you need somewhere where you can organize very detailed your thoughts and there are so many planners online that have so many different styles so many different you know layouts so pick what you think works best for you don't pick that pretty cover whatever I always cover my planners and stickers anyway so the color literally doesn't matter but just look at the planners look at the layouts find what works best for you literally eight dollars on Amazon love just bought my new year planner purchase it start planning your days okay so theoretically what would your days look like in this new year what would your daily routine look like in this new year what would you do on those Saturdays that you have off ideally how

would you spend your morning routine in the ideal world how would your dream version of yourself spend their afternoon or their evening every single night think about it write down a theoretical like day in the life write down a theoretical week in the life you know hobbies activities things you want to incorporate into your new you know new year and then the new year starts and you're set up for success you've done the internal work to understand the past year what you enjoyed what you didn't, what you want to bring forward, where you want to go. You have a visual idea of things you want to create for yourself and ideas you want to create for yourself and activities and colors and literally everything that you want to bring into your life imagery-wise. And then you

have the tools to set up that life that you want for yourself because you have a planner, because you have a wall calendar, because you've thought through the step-by-step day that you want to have. you know how it's gonna work out for you you gotta bring it into the real world last step girl you just gotta do it you really do you just gotta want it and step by step thing by think slowly bring it into your life the only person who's gonna create your dream life is yourself so let's get on it girls it's so fun I love creating a new year you know new year's resolutions new year planner another great way to like get ideas in your head about things you want to do the life you want to create is like title your page new year's resolution

another journal idea and then write i know it's hard but this is the part of the process write 50 things that you want to bring into this new year create in this new year do in this new year it could be anything it could be i want to paint my toenails red cool easy achievable it could be i want to go to mexico this summer not as easy as achievable but i know you can do it especially if you plan now you can create it 50 things 50 ideas and then also it will be in your journal when you want to look back or you're like I don't know what to do right now I don't have any ideas boom your past self already did the work has 50 ideas let's get into it I love you this is gonna be such a good new year oh my god I don't have any new year's plans I need to figure that one out

but I know it'll be fun no matter what I do someone asked thoughts on importance of being a virgin question mark personally no importance but if you hold an importance in your brain about your own virginity absolutely hold yourself to that standard if you would like to but for me personally I hate putting that pressure on young women to like maintain their quote-unquote morality or their virginity because that construct is a construct built by men built by the patriarchy and only puts importance on women if they are a virgin which is weird because you're putting importance on young women and being virgins so older men find them more important weird weird creepy ideals things but if a woman wants to be a virgin and wants to be virgin till marriage or

has like an importance of virginity in their mind vibes i will always stand behind a woman and what she wants but if that's what like a man wants that's just weird weird major red flags in my opinion i think you should do whatever you want with your body if you think it's a good time to you know lose your virginity go for it if you don't feel any importance about your virginity fantastic if you do feel like there's importance honor that understand that but for me personally no I don't like projecting the idea of like you need to be a virgin as a woman that's weird and a little off-putting in my opinion my friends actually call themselves born-again virgins which I fucking love because they went through a period of like you know boy crazy we've all been

there boy craziness and then they hit the I'm over it I need to be celibate for a while so they were celibate for like a year or so and now they're kind of getting back into casual dating but they call themselves born again virgins to kind of keep themselves accountable for like well i'm not gonna just lose my new my new regrown back virginity to any loser from the bar like i'm gonna make sure it's somebody that i actually care about and they have yet to have sex they have before but like you know regrown virginity they're virgins again basically it's been so long but they're not gonna just like randomly lose it to some lame loser like they're gonna make sure it's somebody that's worth it and I love that mindset like are they worth it is it worth it to you if

it's not girl lose that man lose them oh this one someone said thinking of giving up drinking in the new years thoughts yes yes I absolutely agree I think there's this whole like health and wellness influx going on right now but it's going on in a way that i kind of enjoy because it's like very sober based and i don't know if it's sober based from like the general population or it's sober based from all the hollywood executives on ozempic who can't drink anymore because their liver is going to literally die so they're like health and wellness i'm not drinking but either way i think everybody's kind of on this vibe that's like yeah like I don't need to escape reality anymore I really want to take control of my life right now

I really want to step into what it is to be a human being and to feel myself completely and fully and accept myself completely and fully and I love that I love I love that trend I can get on with that trend absolutely and you know what I agree I do agree I think I'm definitely gonna do dry January um I'm really gonna try and incorporate that in my life and I think dry January is a really good way to start you know it's easier to think like oh a month you know a month's easy a year that's hard but a month a month I can do and the thing is after a month after you don't have something for a month you kind of forget about it so the next month's easier to do the next month and the next month maybe you have one drink here or one drink there but you stop putting such an

emphasis on it and it's a really great way of conditioning your brain so I will definitely be participating in dry January um I've had some very interesting drinking habits in the past and I do love a good drink here and there I also am a big I very much support the idea that I have a little gremlin living inside of me and once a month I need to get blackout drunk and just let her free and let her loose because I am a big party animal and I love doing that but sometimes it happens a little too often and I don't like when that happens so to get back in control of that situation I will be participating in dry January and trying to put less of an emphasis on drinking I feel like it's just such a I don't know especially nowadays it's such like a social

thing you have to drink to be social you have to drink to feel yourself in social situations you have to drink to be confident and that's just no fun I hate that idea um so I'm gonna try and put less of an emphasis on it in my daily life not me getting blackout drunk this weekend anyways yeah no big fan love the sober lifestyle i think the ideal lifestyle for me would be california sober which is just weed and maybe like a mushroom cap here and there i think that's the ultimate way to live best for your body best for your brain best for your functionality that's the vibe i'm on and if you would like to join dry january with me please do would love to i don't know i feel like continuing on the sober thing i just thought about it for a second i was like no no i have

more to say me in any given social situation let's be fucking real like no no i always have more to say my brain is just going a million miles per minute but i think also what comes with like the no drinking thing and really being intentional about the way not only you are using like substances whether it's weed whether it's drinking whether it's other things i don't know what you're into but once you become intentional about like the way you are approaching the world and the way you are um like not only receiving the world but letting the world receive you i think you become very intentional about a lot of other things that you were not intentional about whether it's like your morning routine or working out or like just bodily health or mental health whatever it may be

i think going sober is that first step that you really need in order to be intentional about those other things especially from alcohol alcohol really there's just like no benefits other than loosening up during a social situation and that's okay every once in a while but if you feel like you cannot go out or be yourself without drinking then like yeah that's a red flag and I have been there many times in my life and recognizing that and realizing that and then intentionally being sober or removing the thing from my life that is having a negative consequence not only I mean it's a little hard but not only does it help me make me more aware of who I am but also it makes me more aware of all the other subconscious things that I'm doing throughout my life that maybe are

not the healthiest for me and I think having that realization and making that first step of like oh maybe I need to not drink anymore it's gonna make you have a lot more realizations about other things in your life that are unhealthy as well um so if you need to go sober from alcohol if you need to go sober from boys if you need to go sober from weed from overconsumption on your phone recognize that want and that need listen to it make the necessary adjustments throughout your life because the benefits from it and the benefits the universe is going to gift you from recognizing that you need to make a change in your life and making the adequate steps to make a change you will be gifted so much goodness just like tenfold absolutely tenfold your life will

completely up and change in the most positive way if you simply listen to what you need and provide that for yourself especially if it's going sober and sober can mean for many different things boys dating alcohol drugs mcdonald's tv like literally anything that you find in your life and especially looking towards a new year if you're like no no I need to go sober listen to that challenge yourself do a dry January of whatever you need to be dry from I guarantee if you put a month into practice you will just completely change by the end of the month and become such a better person and I I'm very excited to kind of want to make this mindset change because I know what's coming is going to be so good and maybe it'll take a little bit of

work but listen you're never going to get anything good without at least a little bit of work yeah i've been here someone asked girl help what do i do when i'm in love with a gay man so sixth grade going into high school i sat next to this guy in science class and i had the biggest crush on him don't know why probably i was just like young and i had a lot of emotions and i was getting like crush confused with like friendship um yeah you're gonna feel a little bit of love towards your friends but that doesn't mean it's romantic love you know and you get you get older it's easier to figure out those emotions my first red flag that this man was gay definitely should have been that we were bonding over loving the victorious secret fashion shows

in my head i was like no he loves them because straight because girls i love them because fashion aesthetics but no we loved it for the same exact reason and then my heart got broken because he went on to date my best friend also a little confusing but I think the whole time I kind of knew a little bit now I see him on Instagram with his boyfriend modeling and I'm like slay love you love but yeah I think sometimes when you are in especially when you're young and it's very difficult to understand emotions and especially like romantic emotions you get the feelings of you just get the feeling of like romantic love confused with like friendship love both loves are still love that feeling of wanting to spend time together wanting to be together

wanting to you know share a life experience together that doesn't always mean romantic you can hold love for your friends you can hold love for romantic partners both valid both real but You have to understand where they stand. And that's why I think a lot of people fall in love with their best friends, messy, fall in love with their ex's boyfriend, whatever, just messy situations because people get the feeling of friendship confused with romantic interest. And very obviously, this man is gay. I'm assuming you are not another gay male, so you're not exactly his type, but you can

still hold um that friendship love for them and still love them in that sort of way but also like delusional girl hours and never gonna work it's like never gonna work and that's okay that's okay nothing's wrong with you you know i think you're just getting those those emotions confused and there's no need messing up your life by being like i'm in love with you because that's wild like i think you're just confused on the way your emotions are sitting and how you feel you still love them but it's from from a friendship sense you know what i mean and that's valid and that's okay but yeah no need muddying up the waters by being like i'm in love with you that's just confusing for everybody involved someone said my boss is a bitch in parentheses but only with me

how do i handle that so i'm also a bitch but in more of like a spiteful way so i've never had a boss that was really mean to me we have always gotten along and i've been very very very lucky with having amazing managers in my life that i have always gotten along with and shout out to the universe for always gifting that to me because it really is just a fucking gamble either managers are the worst thing to ever step into your life or they're like a mother figure you know what i mean and my manager now love her to the ends of the earth she's a scary bitch but i'm on her good side i could only imagine what life was like if i was on her bad side when this is happening in a corporate setting do you know what you do you immediately report that shit to hr immediately

immediately i think people forget that they have hr hr is so important especially in the restaurant industry the amount of girls around me who are like yeah no he's sending me weird pictures at 3 a.m and i'm like the fuck this man's 40 you're 15 working the host stand if you don't report this man immediately to hr i'm gonna be like upset with you like you're not gonna get in trouble it's gonna keep him accountable he will know he can't behave like this and it puts like a mediator between you two where if you have a hard time communicating there's somebody there who can help you communicate I oh my god yeah contact HR girl I really don't appreciate the way she's speaking to me especially around my peers and demeaning me in front of my peers when we are supposed to be

in a uplifting supportive understanding work environment especially when I'm that way with everybody else that is exactly what I would expect from a manager like literally put it on them like literally like they're bullying me and I don't feel comfortable working under her be spiteful girl fuck a bad manager for real but that's what HR is there for if you feel like somebody around you is being weird and fucked up immediately go to HR immediately please please I'm begging you I'm begging you young girls stop getting taken advantage of at work you do not have to put up with bad behavior that's what HR is there for someone asked how to keep the spark alive in my relationship I think people forget and people everywhere okay people in relationships people

outside of relationships but when you're dating you have not secured the bag yet do you know what I mean for me that's marriage you secured the bag congrats diamond ring you're paying for my wedding yeah you secured the bag but dating is like you're dating we've lost the term dating completely people are so afraid to date nowadays bitch what the fuck is a situationship don't worry i've been there i get you girls it's hell on earth get out that man says he doesn't like you that man doesn't like you please run run find a man who does but situationship the fuck are you talking about dating dating is called dating for a reason because you're trying to figure out if you like each other you're trying to figure out if you enjoy spending time with each other and you

can be in a committed relationship a committed to each other relationship a committed to understanding each other and getting to know each other relationship dating and still be figuring it out if you want to be with them you don't have to be in a situation ship to figure out if you want to be with them that's what dating is about and I feel like so many people lose the spark in the relationship because they think oh well we're dating I've secured the bag I don't need to put any work anymore no no no no no that's not how a relationship works you are still trying to win each other over that's what dating is all about you're still dating each other you're still falling in love with each other you're still learning to love each other learning about each

other how each other work what they like you are still courting each other even though you are in a relationship because you haven't secured the bag yet and if that man stops putting an effort if you feel that you need to stop putting an effort because oh they're here i don't really you're taking them for granted you know what i mean you have to keep winning each other over every single day every single day i think the healthiest relationships understand that and put importance on that and uplift that idea throughout their relationship they want to celebrate each other they will want to get to know each other they want to love each other and you know do the dating thing every single day instead of finding themselves in a situation where it's just okay

and they don't feel the need to put in any effort if you feel the need if you don't feel the need to put in any effort or like still love your partner that's when I think a relationship is done in my opinion but also you know sometimes you need a reminder you get too comfortable whatever it may be when the spark dies in a relationship I think it's just two people forgetting that they're dating each other and they need to be winning each other over every single day and that's a conversation you could have with your partner hey you know I feel like we are in a relationship but I don't feel like we're dating you know what I mean like we spend so many so much time together but we are not getting to know each other getting to understand each other

wanting to spend time with each other and that is the main part of a relationship that's what gets that bonding experience going that's what makes you fall in love with each other it's easy conversation to have it should be very clear you know okay maybe we need to put a little bit more work you're right maybe i have gotten too comfortable i forgot that i'm supposed to be like courting you right now boom put in the work show them what you like show them what you're looking for celebrate each other that's how you keep the spark alive in a relationship but yeah like i think people forget that dating is like you can be five years into a relationship and still be like is this right for me you know like we're still getting to know each other sure we spent

a lot of time with each other but is this right and are we still falling in love with each other every single day are you still celebrating me are we still uplifting each other are we still wanting to, you know, get to know each other and learn about each other and spend time with each other. And I feel like when that dies, and you both have like no interest in even putting any time or work into the relationship. That's when a relationship dies. But yeah, girl, just like date each other, you know, have fun, go out and date, celebrate each other, celebrate that six month anniversary. Like that's what keeps it so fun. One of my mutuals, every time I see a TikTok video of hers, it's always like me and my boyfriend's monthiversary. They celebrate their

relationship every single month. They've been together for like six years. They celebrate their relationship every single month. They celebrate every morning together. They celebrate every evening together. And those are the healthiest relationships I know. The ones that are not afraid to give love to receive love to open their heart to each other to openly celebrate each other those are the healthiest relationships but yeah i think people totally get dating completely confused nowadays bitch i ain't got a ring on you haven't won me over let's be real we're still dating each other so you gotta win me over every single fucking day you know what i mean you know what's extra fucked up uh i cannot wait to quit my job one day my serving job and do like a tell

all about this company that i work for because they are the actual legitimate worst thank you for my christmas bonus to whoever sued the fuck out of my company last year because i got so much money from them they did not want to give it to me that's for sure but they were just in a class action lawsuit so i did get a little christmas check shout out but holy fuck the things that they just let slide when i tell you somebody has to be reported to hr five times before they can get fired is so fucked up what do you mean five times this man can harass somebody five times before he gets fired they don't take anything seriously cannot wait till i quit this job it can do just like tell all's tell all's um but yeah i i really recommend like hr is there to

intentionally look through the situation as deeply as they possibly can and they cannot fire you if you bring something to hr so girl just bring it up oh i'm the bad guy i'm the bad guy for bringing you to HR sorry sorry maybe you should have been acting like a fucking freak and that I wouldn't have been I wouldn't have done it let's be real anyways yeah I know it feels like tattling and they told us not to tattle when we're younger but girl if your work life is hell on earth please tattle I'm begging you someone asked advice on what to do when you miss him after a breakup when you miss him after a breakup okay post breakup things you need to do a write down actually the only thing you probably need to do and the most important I call this the breakup

bucket list and I've talked about this a few times on here but when you break up with somebody not only do you need to make a cons list I don't give a fuck about the pros make a cons list so then when you're having this moment of oh but he was so good to me now you can read through the 50 different things that he did that was fucked up and i'm talking read top to bottom to remind you how big of a piece of shit he was but also you need to make a breakup bucket list listen all relationships are different all of them are very you know but i've been in some very controlling relationships so after the breakups i would make a breakup bucket list which is essentially like five to ten things maybe 15 maybe 20 depending on how controlling he was of things that i was not

allowed to do during my relationship that kind of took away from my freedom as an individual when you are feeling like oh my god I miss him not only are you gonna read the cons list the only the cons list top to bottom to remind you but now you're gonna go to that breakup bucket list you're gonna be like oh yeah he wouldn't let me wear mini skirts I'm gonna go put on my sluttiest little mini skirt my tallest heels I can find and I'm gonna go to dinner with my friends looking cute I'm gonna go to a bar with my friends looking cute I'm gonna go over my friend's house and do a little photo shoot oh he wouldn't let me fucking i don't know literally men are just so controlling about the weirdest things he wouldn't let me eat like i don't know girl go make yourself

a fat dinner enjoy your time but the biggest thing you can do for yourself when you are missing him after a breakup is do something for yourself that he never did for you oh he never bought me flowers go to the local bouquet store the local flower shop go get yourself the biggest bouquet of flowers you could find okay treat yourself the way you deserve to be treated that you weren't treated in the past remind yourself why you left this man but don't sit in that delusion for too long girls because then you get confused then you start romanticizing him and i he's not worth being romanticized i pinky promise that cons list will help with that someone asked did you ever try smoking herbals and if you do what do you recommend i'm new to this illy so i mean everybody's had

that girl moment where you grind up some lavender with your weed i feel like that's a pretty common experience i knew i was gonna be a little fucked up in my adult life when i was like 15 no that's too old when i was like 12 cutting open a bag of herbal tea and then rolling it in a sticky note and going on a walk and smoking it in the woods at 12 bitch what the fuck i knew i remember i remember this moment so clearly i took my little thick ass sticky note herbal bad cigarette like smoking glue sitting next to the lake in my neighborhood smoking this at 12 years old and i remember thinking myself like i'm gonna be a problem like i'm gonna be a big problem not only for myself but everybody else around me and then smoked this random herbal cigarette thing anyways

i don't usually include many herbals in the things i'm smoking especially because i'm a little particular about things that i'm inhaling especially into my lungs and i love an aromatic um I love uh burning herbs in order to receive that aromatic smell those benefits around me I love doing a simmer pot and including them with some fresh oranges and some water and boiling that on my stove to really cleanse the area but the only things that I like light up and smoke is CBD and weed and that's really all I feel the energy to recommend. I know there's different benefits to different things but I am just I would rather eat my herbs rather than smoke them. I'm a little unsure about the way certain herbs react in your lungs and that is a little

concerning to me and it's not something that i'm very interested in exploring especially when the two plants that i do smoke do enough for me um cbd great fantastic love her she's the best once again past packs is going going out of business i'm so sad fuck going out of business by july for or july january 1st so if you want to try cbd literally the they're the only company i recommend and i'm heartbroken because i don't know who i'm going to recommend after this love CBD I just bought a shit ton to stock up on but if you want some like flour or some herbs that you want to include to kind of I think honestly it will give you the effect that you think other herbs will and they just simply won't but CBD does give you that chill calming effect but not

the psychoactive effect which I really appreciate I really do especially when I want to smoke something but i maybe can't get high at this moment or i'm not in the mood to have that psychoactive effect cbd is a lifesaver um i love mixing it with my weed so i don't get too high so i don't get too anxious um but yeah the only two herbs that i smoke are weed and cbd if you have recommendations let me know but it's not something that i have been interested in exploring some of you because of the times that I have smoked with like herbs a herb mix with weed I feel like my lungs just hurt more than um than they should you know and I would rather just use it in an aromatic sense around my house some candles you know burning some herbs to bring

that smell that cleansing energy into my home doing a simmer pot something like that rather than directly inhaling it to my lungs that's a little scary to me someone said struggling with spending lots of time with family during the holidays dot dot dot especially male family you know my favorite thing to do in any situation is as soon as i feel uncomfortable or like what they're saying to me is just like some freakazoid thing that i'm like what the fuck's coming out of your mouth right now i will get up and leave i will i'll stand up and i'll walk away i don't need to say anything back to that like how dare i i don't even want to entertain this conversation bitch like i'm gonna get up and walk the fuck away and that's what everybody should do in any

sort of situation that they're uncomfortable in all the time anytime you always have the opportunity to leave in fact leaving is my favorite thing to do so whenever you're in a conversation with somebody and you just find yourself in that moment where you're like what the fuck did they just say to me and am I even existing on a plane of reality that is real right now stand up and walk away you don't owe any explanation you don't have to say anything back you don't have to be like oh I'm sorry girl get up and leave love doing that love it absolutely especially around men especially around crazy family members who are talking about like fox news politics you're like oh I'm gonna I gotta go I gotta get the fuck out of here

love doing that how to look put together even while being lazy I love a good lazy outfit and most of my lazy outfits are going to be matching sets um I scour the internet for matching sets I love like a right now I'm in just like my gray fold over sweatpants gray bra top mini sweater you know looking cute i love a athletic set i love a good basic set los angeles apparel has some amazing basic sets um i love a pj set i love a loungewear set literally any set makes you feel put together no matter what i don't know that i don't know the science behind it but matching set in my brain i'm like clean girl cute girl energy is giving yoga mom juice cleanse even though i am hungover and throwing up you know like love a matching set and i wear them so often i thought i

wouldn't you know wear my matching sets as often as i do or like a good robe you know if you're lounging around the house like a comfy fluffy robe i thought i wouldn't wear them as much as i do i live in them i live in them so if you're like will i wear them should i the answer is yes invest in good basics that you can wear pretty often i think that's a necessary thing that everybody needs to have in their um wardrobe like very staple basic pieces basic tops bottoms because then you can wear the crazy stuff like in conjunction with those things but you need the basics to be able to wear the fun things as well you know what i mean anyways yeah i love i love a set a matching set oh so cute a fluffy robe beautiful some slippers easy i'm gonna feel like

the cutest girl in the world what's your go-to must-have munchies if you get them oh girl i get the munchies i'll tell you what i made my boyfriend get from the gas station for me yesterday um i was about to door dash this to my house for 30 because i was so high and then i was like my boyfriend's in the room next door i'm gonna send him to the store for me obviously hot cheetos the crunchier the better hot cheetos are not that hot anymore i don't know i used to be like sweating high school when i ate those i need them to make hot cheetos hotter like i need to be in pain i love that feeling anyways hot cheetos um flamin hot cheetos the crispy crunchy ones love i need some twin snakes the sweet and sour gummy twin snakes i need some sour watermelons i need some gummy bears but

specifically the gummy bears that come in the white bag not the Haribo gummy bears the other ones where they're like 20 something different flavors the Alberts is that what they're called perhaps those gummy bears and then maybe a coconut water maybe some Cheez-Its and that's it that's all I need something crunchy something spicy and lots of gummy candy as much gummy candy as I can fit in my mouth honestly I'm such a gummy girl I'm not a chocolate girl I never go for chocolate but gummy candy love sold I will eat a whole bag in one sitting it they're just the best oh at what point should you have the what are we combo after going on xyz amount of dates um so let's say xyz three four dates right three four you have like a basis of

understanding of a relationship after three four days which is probably like a month month and a half of knowing each other that's when you have the conversation of is this casual are you seeing other people you know is this just a hookup situation like don't have the are we dating convo yet but have the are we you know interested in each other convo you know what are your intentions with me convo now after you have that convo and if it's like no no I am only dating you not only dating only seeing you only interested in seeing you I'm not having any outside relations then you go for like I would say like three four months total and then you have the are we dating conversation so like month month and a half three four dates is this serious do you want to pursue

a relationship with me in the future and then if it's yes then you keep it going and then you hit the three four month mark period and then you have the are we dating conversation but you know have that conversation of like what is this what are your intentions with me sooner rather than later don't get strung along too far it's okay to ask what their intentions are it's okay to ask if they're putting their dick in other fucking people in fact you should be asking that because then you got to get tested and that's just a whole mess for everybody so well regularly get tested please i'm begging you but like hey dude are you sticking your dick in other people or is this are we just like hanging out because i need to know for my sexual health and my mental health as well

have that conversation sooner rather than later i would say three four dates be the say like you know are you seeing other people is this just casual thing are you interested in pursuing a relationship with me in the future very normal things to ask and if they're like well i don't know let's see where it goes red flag stop right there no no you as a grown-ass adult human being can give me a real answer of what you're doing in your free time and if you can't that breaks my trust a little bit and i don't know if i can be around someone that i just simply don't trust very simple very simple i know you're scared please do it please protect yourself it's okay to ask questions it's okay to be curious about their intentions with you and getting a straight

answer is the decent normal human thing to do okay so three four dates the what are your intentions three four months are we dating that's the perfect recipe oh no my friend's ex wants me i think i want him i don't know what to do we've hung out and done stuff help illy if i broke up with a man and my friend ever went and saw them or spent time with them or did anything with them it is basic girl code that i never speak to you again so let me be real with you right now like big sister let me step in you are going to let a man get in the way of your friendship and if you're okay with that then that's something you got to take on and understand you're gonna lose a friendship from this she's probably never

gonna speak to you again unless she doesn't care that you're fucking him and i think most girls care but big sister tip right here she's probably never gonna speak to you again ah she should if that's something you're okay with then that's something you're okay with and you have to understand those are consequences of your actions but if that's something that you're like oh i don't know i don't want to lose her then you need to ditch this man as soon as fucking possible as soon as possible because you know all the shitty things he did to her you know all the bad things you did to her you know you know what she went through you sat there while they broke up you held her while she was crying and now you're fucking him doing things with him i as a

would never speak to you again if you're okay with that if you're like man friendship wasn't that serious she's just a girl i know that's something you got to deal with but girl code girl code number one in life is the people our friends date really aren't that fucking important as long as they're happy i'm happy okay that's a background character in my opinion girl i don't i don't know any of my friends actually none of my friends have boyfriends but like would i know their names probably not what i care about if they're living or dead probably not but fucking your friend's ex is girl code number one of something to never do so understand the repercussions of your actions understand what's gonna happen and make peace with that is all i

can say someone said pussy insecurity wish it was cuter lol oh no no no no no no no no no no you are a work of art you're beautiful you're lovely you're amazing you're gorgeous i have an outie outie pussy okay and if you are concerned about that girl two-thirds of the world have an outie pussy and if this man doesn't get on his knees and eat it like he's starving like he's ravenous then i don't fucking want it do you think men think about their dicks as much as women think about you know the aesthetics of their vagina no no they don't so why the fuck should i put in any more thought all i care about is if she's healthy and happy and that's all you should worry about is my is my ph good you know is my bush looking good cool great that's all i

care about don't be insecure about it seriously don't even think about it or overthink it the only two things you should think about when it comes to your vaginal health or what's going on down there is is it happy okay and is it healthy that's it all pussies are normal I really really recommend like actually looking at anatomical pictures and like things like that of just normal women's vaginas i feel like when you are only exposed to vaginas that are included in porn those are doctored up those are doctored up vaginas okay those are fucking surgical pussies I'm talking they got work done so look at normal human pussies okay and I guarantee you're gonna be pretty much like oh yeah no they can look like anything and I'm happy to have mine and I'm happy

she's happy and I'm happy she's healthy but that's the only thing that matters a pussy's a pussy and if someone is not happy to be around it then they simply do not deserve it whatsoever actually you know what speaking of new years I just pulled up my 2023 vision board from this last year and I want to go through and share what I had written down and like what actually came to fruition so on my 2023 vision board I had family hard work nature the divine and creativity I got to reconnect my family a little bit more um spend more time with them I just started really prioritizing that especially my niece and my nephew like I want to see them grow up and I want to spend time with them and I miss my brother and I miss my parents sometimes so like why not stop by every once in a

while and get to uh you know experience time with them um hard work the divine creativity I've really spent a lot of time this year thinking and working and working and working but also asking myself like where I want to go and it's been a really fun year asking myself where I want to go but now I know where I'm trying to go and it's nice that I can put that into fruition this year um and nature I spent a lot of time in nature I spent a lot of time in nature February I was hiking out in Oregon this summer I was out in Mexico on the beach you know I spent a lot of time here locally just on nature walks and next to the river it's been a big nature year which has been nice um I had a quote on here that said i love fresh starts you can set a new tone do it better do it different and i feel

like that's very real for this year like there's always an opportunity to start over um for health i said eat good food and move your body i have really been taking advantage of that i've been going to raves and dancing as much as i can i just picked up pilates i'm just trying to simply move my body in a very simple way but also intentional way and eat good food you guys know i'm eating good every day if you guys look at my instagram story like i'm eating good i mean healthy i mean happy i mean fun things um i'm eating good that's for fucking sure um on self care i said listen to your gut drink water dance and move travel express yourself um i have been really listening to my gut and like saying no to things i want to say no to things but also saying

yes to things and i want to take a new opportunity drinking water which i don't know why drinking water has always been hard for me. Maybe it's because I have ADHD and I just have a hard time doing things consistently. But I have been very intentional this year about trying to stay hydrated, dance and move, travel, express yourself, trying not to cut myself off from the world. And I have been expressing myself more and it's been received very well. And I feel very thankful for that connection, share, reach out, collab, create. I did have a really fun time connecting with you guys this year and i got a collab on fun things for my career i said collab paint more reach out i gotta do a beautiful collab with sydney mary i'm so thankful for her

if you want a good gift for you yourself your girlies sydney mary bikini they're the only ones i trust the only ones i wear and i'm so lucky we got a collab this year i had a blast she did so much fucking work and i'm so proud to have worked with her um and her mind is amazing please go support and then finances I said spend on travel spend on importance save and trust um I definitely spent a little bit more than I probably needed to this year um so maybe I'll add that to my new year vision board as well to save and then spend on travel more um I didn't travel as much as I would have liked to this year I did go to some pretty fun places I went out of the country for the first time um I gotta do some time in Oregon Seattle which was really nice um I gotta explore

some local places around here which has been awesome falling in love with the place that I am I think that was my main lesson that I really needed to take away was not escapism but learning to love where I am so that I don't feel the need to escape anymore and I feel like that was a big lesson that I learned this year which was really really nice but the images I had were like white candles, some weed photos, flowers, mangoes, just nature, collections of just like fun pink and green, of course, always. And I feel like it was a very well-rounded idea that I did bring in this year. And it's so fun looking back on past mood boards and asking myself like did I create this you know was I able to bring this stuff into fruition and yes you'd

be surprised how much subconsciously you bring in I'm going to try and intentionally really look back on the on my yearly mood board every month so then I can keep myself in check I didn't really look back on my year mood board at all this year but even subconsciously like being intentional about what I wanted to bring into the world and doing so I didn't realize how much I made possible for myself and I am just so lucky and so thankful to live this life and to be able to experience new and beautiful things every single year and I cannot wait to see what this new year brings for me oh no also girl code rule if you are under 21 and he is more than two years older than you you should not be together this girl oh my god I'm sorry I love you she said

I'm 18 he's 23 girl I know it's kind of old but we get along and it doesn't feel weird of course it doesn't feel weird because you're amazing and you're perfect and you're lovely but it is weird I hate to say it it it's a little weird not gonna lie like I'm 24 I'm thinking back to like a year ago me would i ever interact with an 18 year old intentionally no no you were in such different points of life completely different points of life 18 year old me and 21 year old me oh my god it feels like there's 10 years in between those fucking years run please i'm begging you you're supposed to be young and having fun please don't be in a relationship with a 23 year old if you're 18 just be single please I'm begging you or like in a relationship with another 18 year old it'll

really teach you like I don't know I feel like 18 is such a very interesting age and you are you feel older than you really are you are a baby if you're 18 you're you're a baby and I love you and I know I don't want that to sound demeaning in any sort of way I just wish I allowed myself to be an 18 year old instead of being in a relationship with a man and being like a housewife and you know not letting myself party like I should have or not letting myself have the real world experiences that I should have because I was in a relationship with an older man that did not need to happen whatsoever girl code another girl code if you're young please have fun please just have some fun I'm begging you that's what being young is all about okay you do not need to be in

a relationship specifically a relationship with an older man I love you but 23 and 18 in my opinion in in my very honest opinion not great like that's post-grad post-college grad and you're just going into college if you're 18 think about that i love you stay safe please i'm begging and please i'm begging you don't need you don't need a man's approval in order to feel loved please support yourself uplift yourself the best thing you can do for yourself if you're a young girl is just stay single and have fun focus on friendships focus on building friendships that are going to last a lifetime getting to know people around you getting to understand what you like and dislike in the world I just simply believe as a young woman you cannot do that if

you're in a relationship because if you're in a relationship especially while you're young if your relationship with another younger person that's like your age you know you don't know a lot about relationships and it's gonna feel a little bit more confining and you're unsure how to show love and if you're in a relationship while you're young with an older man then you know it's just like a weird power dynamic and it's just not gonna be healthy please I'm begging you if you're a young girl and you want to do the best thing for yourself possible it's don't be in a relationship don't be in a relationship if you're under 21 you don't need to be doing that shit for real focus on you have a good time make long lasting life friendships that are gonna be around forever

that's the goals that you should be focusing on please please please speaking of not feeling my best and being a little sick someone asked ways to healthen up during this winter oh my god this winter sick season apologies for the coughing oh a water girlies please drink your water please that's the number one way to keep healthy your brain your organs staying on the right track drink your water please i'm begging you um number two if you got vitamin c around let's just let's add that into our daily routine you know great way to keep off the cold keep off the bad feelings vitamin c wash your hands i know that seems very normal but like think about how many people touch that door handle going into that restaurant and now you're gonna sit down

and start eating hand sanitizer wash your hands simple practices will reduce illness completely almost completely um number four try and stay up on just like healthy food eat a salad every once in a while throw some greens into your pasta you know very simple things but i feel like when i'm eating my fruits and my veggies i just bought a whole bag of clementines and i've been devouring them and they're so yummy i love that for my little snack i love having a little you know side salad with dinner a little something you know get my protein in get some leafy greens in me it just makes me feel better it makes me feel more regulated makes me feel like my bodily health is upkept in order for me to offset the illnesses coming flying at me from every direction especially

during the winter my god and then I think you need to stock up on like some keep some blue Gatorade in your um cabinet keep some ibuprofen on you keep some pd light if you need to up your electrolytes if you get you know maybe a stomach bug or you're not eating enough when you get sick get some of those moisturized tissues when you're blowing your nose all the time my nose gets so dry and it gets like cracked those moisturized tissues are like oh they're amazing they're amazing and take hot showers as much as you can especially when you're sick like I have the like kind of respiratory throat nose sickness right now and it's like hot showers hot baths soothe me completely it's the best oh my god I'll sit in there for like hours if I can because it really

just does magic on letting my body kind of release what it needs to release you know sweat it out snot it out you're in the shower so you don't feel gross doing these things and if you need a day take a day for real i had a call in yesterday and i'll probably have to call on wednesday depending on if i test positive tomorrow um but take days focus on you you know put your laundry in and then go lay down for an hour while while it's washing and watch your favorite tv show indulge a little bit really focus on you and treating yourself and making sure you get worked back up to a healthy level um cold suck getting sick sucks just make sure you're really focusing on caring for and treating yourself don't push that aside and keep powering through

if you need a day it's okay to take a day i pinky promise but i love you i hope you guys enjoyed this podcast i gotta get off i know it's a little early it is how long have we been going about an hour that's pretty good my other ones have been i've been going a little longer than usual like an hour and a half and I've been loving it I love hanging out with you guys it really is the highlight of my week I I really enjoy this not only is it like I'm getting in tune with you guys and like the universe and you know all of our all the things we're experiencing we're all kind of experiencing at the same time like if you submit a question you feel like you're alone I guarantee I got like five ten other questions exactly like that and it's so interesting that we can all be

going to the same thing and feel like we're so alone but still have it be together and I love that I love that I love getting on here and really connecting with you guys and I can't wait to show you everything that I'm planning for the podcast and share it with you guys and get to connect a little bit more um I feel so lucky to be able to do this every single week and hang out with you guys and get to connect with the collective and share my thoughts and share your thoughts and just get to know each other a little bit better um it is really a blessing and I never thought i'd be doing this but sitting here every week is just a trip um it's just amazing and you can make anything happen in your life for real if you have an idea and you just take it one step at a time

and you work forward you will get there eventually i promise you if you want it bad enough you will get there eventually you simply just have to understand you have to take it one step at a time but if you want it you can create it for yourself no matter what it is listen to your heart listen to your desires listen to your dreams you can create the life that you want to live for yourself and i love you all so much i hope you have a great rest of the week please wash your hands drink your water eat some vitamin c stay healthy during this time remember to take care of yourself your body your mind and look forward to the new year let's dream a little bit you know that's my one challenge for you guys this week like dare to dream let's do some new year's

affirmations new year's um goal setting let's plan some things for the new year's let's get excited okay i love an opportunity to kind of like shed an old skin and like step into a new me and new years is such a i don't know i mean it's a good time for everybody to do that because it's instilled in everybody so might as well take a hold of the opportunity you know and dare to dream a little bit create those mood boards feel free to share with me if you want I would love to see your guys as mood boards and yeah stay sane stay happy stay healthy and I will see you all next week