Smoke Sesh - new years resolutions, true self & locking tf in

Episode Date: January 7, 2025

hello hotties and happy new year! thank you all for being so patient with me as I took a week off last week... its been a hectic end of the year and ill fill you all in on the chaos that has been happening in my life. the patreon has also been updated and prices have been lowered! if you've been thinking about becoming a member now is the time to do so! we would love to have you, getting into our topics I finally share my new years resolutions and what im getting excited for. journaling, how to get it into your routine and stay consistent, how to truly stay consistent to your goals, locking tf in, favorite high activities, becoming a tea girl, spiritual new years tips and sourcing a reading, predicting your future, how to stop copying and actually become your true self, making friends as an adult in your independent phase, hair update and how im saving my newly bleached damaged hair, does it get better? manifesting your dreams and new years goals and much much much more! If you want to see more from me and keep up with updates follow me on instagram hannahmarlene and join the patreon for exclusive content every week, patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and ill see you all so soon, MUAH!

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Hello, midsize business. We see your big ambitions, but how do you achieve the wins you want when your technology is holding you back? SAP Grow is built to grow with your business, no matter its size. With AI embedded at its core, working across every system, all ready to go from day one, so you can hit the ground running. Bring it with SAP Grow, AI cloud ERP for any size business. Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you

can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out. Let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. hello hotties and happy new year happy 2025 i hope this first week has been good to you guys mine has been hectic to say to say the least we'll get into the details here soon um highly apologize for not being here last week hopefully that gave you guys just some time to maybe catch up on old episodes or go back into the three plus years of archives and check out some older episodes as well. I know I was able to kind of like put the word out on my Instagram. If you're ever like where's the podcast, go follow my Instagram at Hannah Marlene. I always post

updates there. And then also I was able to kind of notify people on YouTube if that's where you watch this podcast hey queens um but my cat danger ended up at the emergency vet um monday which is the day that i usually record and of course like in the back of my head i'm like but i need to record but i need to record but really i just needed to put all of my time and effort and attention towards him so thank you guys so much for just being understanding and all the kind words it was just so heartwarming especially during a super stressful time we'll get into the details here soon it has been like i said a very hectic chaotic two weeks when did we last leave off um let's see last episode was oh my gosh right before christmas eve on christmas eve

actually so christmas eve let's talk about christmas eve throw throwback you guys remember how my boyfriend's car got stolen well anyways everything was working out the universe was like you know what you've learned your lesson we'll get everything worked out let's get you a new car the day his rental is up he's able to find a new car source it buy it immediately everything is good to go he has it for two days christmas eve he had to work 5 a.m to like practically 8 p.m as he's walking out of the office to his car he's like hmm my door handle is kind of fucked up oh and my back window is smashed in yeah yeah two days later two two days so christmas eve someone tried to steal his brand new car pro tip to anybody who owns any sort of push to start car

especially a nissan an infinity a kia anything hyundai related get something to protect your car okay that is not just the systematic warning loudness get something to protect your car whether it's like a steering wheel lock better safe than sorry so christmas eve car wouldn't start window crash smashed in had to go pick him up we spent our christmas eve tarping up his car to last over a couple day christmas break um came home watched it's a wonderful life to kind of remember we can find joy um and then celebrated christmas the best that we could christmas is always chaotic my insane family um always fun though got a little bit too drunk but who's gonna complain you know what i mean that's what the holidays are for with family we played like bingo and some

other fun games i don't know it was chaotic and then that next weekend i went up to omaha with my parents to go visit my brother and my sister-in-law my niece my nephew do christmas with them they are such little cutie pies i adore them and i love spending time with them um like i said big drinking family so we were only there for one night and i was supposed to stay in hotel with my parents but i ended up just crashing on my brother's couch which was adorable because i woke up to the two little kiddos sitting next to me watching like paw patrol or whatever so fun great time to spend with family so that was that weekend and then i got back on sunday monday morning danger was acting totally fine totally normal has been acting fine up into till this

point um a little tmi as we get into this story but i noticed him like over grooming himself and i mean he's a big cat he takes his time he takes care of himself like you know cats have the routines it seemed nothing out of the ordinary and then i noticed he was like licking one spot for like five minutes and i was like okay let me go over there and investigate and essentially what I saw was an abscess so immediately I'm like there's no time to sit around I'm not even gonna google I don't give a fuck like let me immediately go to the emergency vet put him in his little backpack took him there they were so sweet this emergency vet I went to like I was nervous because I've never had to go to one before and I mean my vet put it this way some of them

have like really bad bedside manners you know what I mean because they're kind of just trying to get you in and out as quickly as possible um so they really are not like caring for the whole animal and mostly just for the inner injury but this acute vet was just so caring and so kind i like they were like we're gonna take him to the back real quick like sorry there's no rooms but you can hang out up here as soon as the room's open we'll put you in there and i just started like sobbing and the nurse like gave me a hug she's like it's okay we'll take care of him he was such a brave little boy but he ended up this is where the tmi part comes in he had and this is very rare for cats apparently but he had two how do i put this lightly anal sac abscesses i know this is

common in dogs not the abscess part but like needing their glands expressed but essentially i think like his tummy was upset and he wasn't having good enough stools so his glands were not able to empty themselves out properly and maybe he was just over grooming the area and it got infected but he had to have both of them drained and then you know cleaned out this poor baby like shaved him drained it cleaned it out he was so brave they said he was so sweet when they were doing the little operation um and then they put him on this insane fucking pain medication now i don't know if i would ever like want my cat to be on this i understand he was in a lot of pain because i had to keep you know applying warm compresses throughout the week and trying to see

if i could you know express anything else we didn't want any more pus in there so that's very painful especially for that area so maybe i kind of get why he was on this pain medication but essentially this pain medication is called zorbium and it is a topical opioid what's topical opioid they should have told me this because as soon as i had him i started petting him especially in that area and i kind of got second hand high from this opioid i was like why am i feeling like loopy and a little extra stressed out and nauseous and i was like oh i think i'm secondhand high from this dude's opioid drug but this man was tripping balls tripping absolute balls for at least four days i was like whoa this is a lot okay i could have

done with like a little little pain pill here in there but topical opioid seemed like too much i was like whoa i literally he didn't sleep for two days i felt i have never been this stressed in my entire life i felt so bad for him as he was just hiding and his little eyes were like like he looks like he was mollied out and he couldn't sleep because i think he was just anxious and also like loopy from the drugs and in a little bit of pain um but yeah i basically just trips at my cat all last week also i'm realizing when i was at my skinniest it's because i had severe anxiety 24 7 because that entire week I was just not hungry like my emotions were overtaking my brain and my anxiety and just like overthinking and everything it was like I don't have time for

food right now I do so thankful for where I am now for being healthy and actually eating because wow I'm realizing my anxiety was out of control during that era but luckily he had a vet checkup a week later he's been on antibiotics vet said he looks good that it's healing well um not really sure what caused it but really at this point i'm trying to make sure he's just having good bowel movements to keep this from happening again but it was very random like i went into the emergency er and i was like i think this is going on like i think it's an anal gland abscess and they were like i don't know like cats don't really get that and i was like no babe like i don't know what else to tell you like it has to be it's in like the the exact area and sure enough they were

like yeah girl i don't know how the fuck you knew that but definitely was so he's doing good he's taking his naps he's finally playing again luckily he was eating well drinking well throughout that um but yes shout out to the vet team shout out to my savings fund um and shout out to him for being just a brave little boy so thank you all for all of your kind words genuinely it like anytime i have to take off from the podcast i always like panic post something like i'm so sorry i really i really don't mean to like if it's me if i'm sick like i don't care i'll get on here and chit chat with you guys but with him i was just i was too too much of an overthinker at that moment i don't think i could have put out a good episode so thank you all for being patient

kind and understanding so yeah since we were tripsitting him um let's see it was like two days a day oh my god a day before new year's eve we were thinking like oh maybe new year's eve will like last year we went to a jazz club early we went there at like 8 p.m because i was not about to fight the line getting in there at 11 p.m like let's go 8 p.m let's get good spots let's have a couple drinks and leave before midnight and come home and then we came home and like took a bubble bath and ate a frozen pizza it was fantastic so i was like honestly that was great let's do it again this year psych i was like i am not leaving my cat here tripping balls so scared out of his mind to go what like drink pay a $60 cover fee and $20 per drink and be anxious the whole entire

time no not worth it i'm not doing it so we just hung out all night and watched movies and we got crab boils we got crab shrimp and crawfish boils and honestly fantastic way to spend new year's eve very chill taking care of the family eating good food staying warm staying cozy saving money it was a great way to ring in the new years i hope you guys had fun safe and sexy new year's eves okay i'm sure you guys have a lot of stories to tell i haven't opened the questionnaire yet but i cannot wait to see and then this week last part of the chaos this week two days ago i kept getting like spam messages on my phone that was like snowstorm coming snowstorm coming like be prepared from like my energy services and my gas services and then my mom started texting me she's

like have you been to the grocery store yet like there's nothing there you better get to the grocery store i was like girl it's not that deep like we have snow we live in the midwest not that big of a deal well i was wrong as soon as i looked at the radar i was like oh i should probably get to the store so marched my little ass to the store day before the snowstorm nothing's there nothing is there there's no chicken there's like only ground beef there's absolutely zero produce like i have not seen grocery stores look like this since like right before covid where everybody was just like panic buying everything so i managed to get some canned goods some things to last us over there were no eggs except i saw someone like wheel

out a cardboard box like a shipping container box full of eggs and i kept watching people like walk up to the egg section be like oh there's no eggs and then walk away so my ass best believe i tore into that cardboard box and got myself a fresh thing of eggs okay girl like they don't have time to restock let me help them out so let me grab those eggs for myself let me let me just handle my business and then i also got a refill on his prescription i was just getting all of my little ducks in a row just in case just in case with the midwest i feel like either they over report and then it's really nothing or they under report and then it's chaos luckily this time they kind of over reported but it's still chaos out here like it was raining right before it snowed so everything

froze into like a thick layer of ice and then it was basically a blizzard outside all day yesterday so we got i would say at least eight inches of snow so everything shut down practically in the city they issued like an emergency alert that was like do not leave your house highways are closed roads are closed if you get stranded no one's coming to help you so my ass stayed inside right here thankful for the groceries i fought people over um for the eggs i busted out and yeah we've been having a little bit of a snow day it's been nice um yesterday today probably tomorrow will be days which we're just gonna be stuck inside because i don't own a lifted truck and i'm not gonna put my life at risk that's for fucking sure so yeah that has been an update on

my life for the past two weeks which has been wow safe to say it's kept me on my toes that's for sure but hopefully i kind of you know got the chaos out of my system i handled everything well and i'm going into the new year fresh and clean and ready to just bring in so many blessings to my life um but yeah so thank you guys for staying patient that's what i've been up to that's the chaos in my life hopefully your life hasn't been as chaotic as mine but from like the friends i've been talking to i think everybody is kind of going through something a little bit bananas right now so if you are pro tip stay calm stay cool stay collected understand that no matter what everything will work out in your favor even if it feels like right now it's not

you will get there eventually you just gotta take it one step at a time and understand what you can and can't control also some new year's updates like i said i told you guys i was kind of revamping the patreon bringing down prices because listen i keep getting email after email of like different subscriptions i have like upping their prices i'm over it i cannot deal anymore so i figured i would give you guys more for less so uh if you have thought about becoming a patreon member now's the time patreon.com slash smoke slash shawty we have three different tiers um lowest here is four dollars and 44 cents a month it is all my text posts so any sort of monday um manifestations affirmations we do like spiritual sundays where we talk about life tips spiritual tips journal

prompts things like that ask hannah questions um any sort of text posts um write up a kind of sub stack style post will be under that category middle tier is seven dollars and 77 cents i believe and it's all text posts plus the patreon exclusive podcast every single week um also i think you get access to the two plus years of archives of all of my posts you can go back watch old videos watch old content fantastic and then the highest tier which used to be 13.33 a month is now 9.99 yes we dropped that price for you babes and it's everything like i stated before plus i'm doing exclusive content um just hang out sesh with me's vlogs things like that that will be for that tier so if you want to come out and support and join the community

patreon.com smoke shoddy we would love to have you with that being said let's get into um let's see i did my new year's do's and don'ts last episode i believe but i kind of want to talk about my new year's resolutions as well with you guys just to kind of help you guys set goals tell you guys kind of what i'm being inspired by and also what i'm trying to bring into my life i shared last night with the patreon just how how much i feel like hobbies are underrated and i feel like we sit and scroll so much and our phone takes up so much of our time just because we lack hobbies and how much fulfillment and joy hobbies truly can bring into our life so that's definitely one of my goals i also think it's important to have different kinds of hobbies um like a hobby that will elevate

your health a hobby that will elevate your spirit your social your mind your creativity your mindset such as giving back I think it's important to kind of dabble in different areas because listen I could stay inside and do art 24 7 fantastic love it but also like I need to get out of my house sometimes I need a hobby that also makes me social or a hobby that kind of fulfills my spirit or maybe a hobby that fulfills my mindset and gives back to my community I think it's important to dabble in different areas and maybe have two or three different kinds that bring you new experiences and new joists throughout your week throughout your month so that's definitely on my new year's resolutions but let's get into the specifics honestly i feel like most of these

are health related you i know but at the end of the year last year i really started focusing more on my health like eating whole foods actually getting out of my house and going to pilates doing things like that and i saw how much of a benefit it truly did bring me so it's definitely one of my focuses this year just to kind of work on my whole self not in like a fad diet kind of way but on things that are actually going to benefit me in the long term elevate my health in like a daily way so right now currently i am doing dry january i did do dry january last year and i loved it i felt like i had a little bit more of a drinking problem last year um and dry January was really great because it kind of forced me to really think about why am I craving alcohol

when am I craving alcohol what feeling am I trying to satisfy how am I trying to supplement like something in my life what's causing these feelings these emotions these urges so it's a really great way to kind of look deeper at myself and my habits instead of just them simply as a habit um and i loved it so much that i was like yeah fuck it let's do it this year now i do do dry january with alcohol but i definitely don't do it with weed i feel like my relationship with weed is pretty good pretty healthy i think it's safe to supplement with a healthier uh addiction one might say as long as i stay off the alcohol this month i'll be pretty proud of myself and then after i finish dry january i have a feeling it'll probably seep into february as well i don't

necessarily want to cut alcohol completely out of my life i don't feel like that's a necessary step i don't feel like i'm that far gone yet who knows that might change but i really only want to drink maybe once a week um and mostly only in a social setting not drinking alone i don't usually do that but still i feel like having rules and regulations for things that you feel a little bit out of control with is important and when i do drink keeping it to one or two glasses cocktails another one of my goals work out at least twice a week i know that seems low but even doing my pilates twice a week at the end of the year was just so motivational and it was really easy to work into my schedule it felt very easy to accomplish and i also want this to have like

no limits when it comes to working out like it doesn't have to be only power lifting or only pilates it could simply be like doing a five to ten minute stretch on a yoga mat in my house doing a 10 minute little ab routine workout in my house it could be attending like a meditation session whatever it is i want to do at least two workouts every week when it comes to food um outside of just like eating healthy i feel like i contribute to a lot of food waste um every week whenever i get new groceries i feel like i'm throwing out a lot of old food that i was like oh yeah maybe i'll be healthy and like eat this this week or oh my god maybe i'm gonna eat this like cauliflower rice or something crazy but like bitch you're just throwing it away so instead of

doing that i need to be better about just like eating what i have like sure you're getting off your shift you want that taco bell real fucking bad but like you got leftovers in the fridge stop throwing out things stop basically throwing out money and eat what the fuck you have especially when it comes to eating out i feel like i wasted a lot of money last year on doordash just because i worked so late and pretty often so the only thing open would be like late night food spots i wouldn't want to drive there because it's late night you know i'd be exhausted exhausted from my shift so i probably doordash last year at least two to three times a week that's like saying that out loud is crazy because that's what at least a hundred dollars a week if you think about it like

well you ordered 25 worth of food plus tip yeah at least a hundred dollars a week so i want to only allow myself to doordash once a week or less or less ideally less but when it comes to eating out eating out twice a week is fine kind of like 80 20 rule eating healthy 80 percent of the time allowing yourself to splurge 20 percent of the time i usually do that mostly with dinners but only door dashing once a week and only truly eating out twice a week also i know i need to up my vitamin game once i get a good vitamin routine figured out i will let you girlies know i definitely know i'm lacking in that department i do think incorporating just generally more protein into my diet really helped my hair oh side no i got my hair done hello hey blondie like okay

um she really slayed my hair thank you thank you queen but i truly believe like incorporating more whole foods proteins really focusing on like the macros or whatever you say of it all like truly truly helps my nails my skin my hair so upping my vitamin game and hopefully helping my organs my vitals my energy my mood i'm hoping to make that shift as well when it comes to my mind i did this last year and honestly really great if i could do more than one book a month i would but at least at least one book a month and i do this with my patreon i usually do a book club of the of the month um so if you don't know what to read or you're like oh what's she reading i always share what i'm reading at the time um so another reason to come join the patreon

but yes at least one book per month um put that fucking phone down and whenever you're bored and you're like why the fuck am i scrolling pick up a book read a chapter you'll be done with it sooner than you would think and it doesn't have to be these self-help books there's there's no rules to what you're reading i know in like the 75 hard rules it's like oh well you have to read at least one self-help book it's like cool but like also if you're reading like a kinky romance fantasy novel like the girlies sometimes do i'm not judging at least if you have a book cracked open i am proud of you something that also kind of you know helps expand your mind is i want to travel to at least three places this year um it could be anywhere i'm starting to plan a little bit of like a birthday

trip hopefully national park related i won't spill the beans yet because it's still in the works so i want to do a big trip for my birthday kind of get out hike get into nature swim in an open body of water be near mountains that's the goal um i want to do another like little mini girls trip hopefully like a little mini weekend trip maybe back to eureka springs because they heard about my birthday trip there last year and they were like we need to go like that sounds amazing so I would not mind doing that and then maybe something later in the year to maybe fly out to Austin Texas again do something for my boyfriend's birthday I don't know I want to go to at least three different places because I feel like it's a really good reset on the mind it makes you

appreciate coming home a little bit more and what you have makes you appreciate and understand a little bit more of the world around you and overall just expand your mindset also speaking of a mind I need to get off that damn phone yes yes it is that damn phone and I want to get into like at least one activity a week whether that is like going to the gym or maybe it's like a weekly let me go hang out with the girls let me get brunch with the girls or maybe me my mom go get dinner together go get drinks together I won't need to do at least one community activity like my community has so many different activities and events and pop-ups and I need to take advantage of that a little bit more get out of my fucking house a little bit like I'll be sitting scrolling on my

phone and i'm like wow i just wasted eight hours of my life when it's so easy to just get in your car go somewhere experience come home i guarantee it will make you feel so much better and make you feel so much more fulfilled and just worth it in general all right the hard part the financial i need to get my spending down i need to get it down listen i'm a girl i love treating myself i love you know I'm a princess and I love taking care of myself and making sure I have everything that I want of course like what else does a girl deserve but like those hundred dollar impulse spends no no so I talked about that budget app YNAB and it has really helped me kind of get more of a perspective on my spending understand a budget and really stick to a budget as well

because it connects directly to your bank account so you can kind of immediately allocate funds wherever you need to um and i really found a budget that works for me and what i'm allowed to spend a week on fun money on eating out on groceries little things like that and also having enough to like save and invest and put towards my savings it's important to watch your finances and be aware of them but the best way to get your spending down is to be aware of your finances what you're spending it on and to budget another thing that will help my finances is less trend clothing and more lifelong staples so pieces that will i'm thinking pieces that like when i buy them i'm intentionally like wow i can pass this down to like my daughter or my grandchild or my

niece whoever like pieces that i know will last a lifetime that can go through wear and tear that are pieces that I can pull out of my closet and wear weekly thinking in that sort of mindset instead of like oh well that looked good on her let me go drop a hundred dollars on it and literally only wear it once like what's the fucking point at all especially when it comes to like trend clothing I feel like a lot of it is low quality and like a hundred percent polyester and is going to basically melt in my washer and dryer so really focusing on like whole fibers things that are quality made so when it comes to that lifelong aspect it truly passes the test i need to invest more into my savings and retirement i do invest quite a bit but big part of the weekly budgeting

and not spending is being able to allocate money to my future self it's really nice when you think about it that way um and put more into my investments as well as to into my savings account having that emergency fund so when crazy shit happens you're not stressed the fuck out i also need to buy a new car that is really maybe not something you have in mind but it's definitely something I have in mind I gotta upgrade I gotta get a new car my other one has been such a sweetie pie and I love her and she's taken me everywhere she's taken me to Colorado um I think only once but still like everywhere she has gone everywhere she's been to Arkansas with me I love her but it's time I can feel her life dwindling and I feel bad so that's definitely one of my big financial

goals another big financial goal i'm spending way too much fucking money on health insurance and no i'm not going to stop my health insurance but i need to take advantage of it i need to like schedule regular appointments checkups utilize the money that i am paying instead of just watching it go go down the drain that's a big thing that i'm thinking about rent as well where it's like i'm paying what do i pay like 13 50 a month and that is literally just like going into the void i'm not getting anything out of it so also buying a house is another thing i'm thinking about just because a mortgage payment is not much higher than that and it truly would be going towards something and actually a good investment that's kind of a big goal we'll see if that happens this

year would be cool not completely writing it off all right and last but not least just general goals for me personally um i need to do a seasonal house and life purge um i kind of started doing this last winter where I literally went into my back closet pulled everything out and went through every single item I owned now those things either got thrown away donated or they kind of moved to a different place in my house but every season so the next one would be spring on the spring equinox I like to do a big house clean out purge closet clean out the closet clean out is going to be a goal for my winter self right now because i have way too many clothes that i'm just holding on to for no reason i'm tired of feeling claustrophobic it's time to cleanse and then stay consistent to

just like my routines my schedules my obligations and my goals i know that seems like duh hello what are new year's resolutions for but i feel like it's so easy to kind of set these big picture goals and then completely fall off the bandwagon that's why i talk about hobbies a lot because i feel like hobbies genuinely kind of elevate your life and put your perspective into a new place where it's easier to attain these goals and if you can incorporate something daily or weekly into your life that will help you achieve these goals i guarantee they will become yours overnight so stick to those routines set a good routine for myself set good goals for myself incorporate good hobbies and stick to them be dedicated to myself if there's one thing and one person you need to

be dedicated to this 2025 it's you so hopefully that provided you a little bit of inspiration it's not too late to set your goals now and yeah cheers to the new year shall we shall we smoke a bowl and then get into your guys's questions i i say why the fuck not all righty cheers to the new year hotties cheers to a year of success of wealth of prosperity of luck this is going to be our year love you let's hit this two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a

world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. the moments and fandoms that matter most learn more at accenture.com spotify all right let's see what the girls are getting into someone said ways to incorporate journaling into your routine i always feel like i just forget and time slipping real um i i'm not the girl who journals every single day i know some people are and like props to you that is a super healthy daily routine to have i just am not that person that's why specifically um especially in the patreon i share journal prompts on sundays because i think sunday is a perfect reset day it's a perfect like let's reconnect with myself kind of day um especially if you work a nine to five

monday to friday kind of job even if you're like a service industry girly who has a pretty hectic schedule you always have like that one day off that's kind of like your rest reconnect to reset day and those are the days that you do your journaling it doesn't have to be like intense or pages or crazy it could be just like let me just check in with myself how am i doing let me do a prompt here and there let me do a worksheet whatever it is i think it's good to at least do it once a week um but it doesn't have to necessarily be every single day start with once a week and i guarantee it'll click into your routine how to be disciplined like consistently without being too hard on myself oh this is hard especially for my fellow like adhd indecisive anxiety ridden girlies

hey i see you um but i actually was kind of forced to do this at one point in my life after having no form of routine at all because it was like a live or die situation actually it was a lose your scholarship or keep your scholarship situation um it was freshman year nursing school I just no routine you need routine in nursing school you need to be able to know what's coming up to plan accordingly to actually study and I had none of those tools I didn't know how to do any of that so freshman year was a challenge for me safe to say at the end of the first semester technically if you have anything under a b it's failing in nursing school and i had plenty of c's uh so i was called into the office and they were like hey girl

like you might not make it to continue in this college um at least into the nursing portion if you keep getting these grades like this is just a warning we're not just gonna like randomly kick you out but here's some tools and resources that actually help you and I was like oh here we go like it's gonna be pretty basic tools and resources like here's a link to a website that you need to read that will change your life like girl it's not gonna change my life no they actually had academic advisors if you're in college and you have academic advisors even if you're doing well highly recommend utilizing your resources this really taught me to utilize my resources way more i was like oh someone's getting paid to help me do good in school to create routine like let's

do it so i met with her and we kind of got to know each other she was like you know what do you do consistently what are your days look like right now and it was like honestly i'm just waking up and going to sleep like i don't know what to tell you what she set up for me was life-changing essentially she had these daily sheets and every 15 minutes on this sheet was marked off it started at 6 a.m 6 15 6 30 6 45 7 o'clock it was a full 24 hours we're not going into the details but had every 15 minutes marked off and she said i need you to fill in this entire sheet with your routine with what you need to do every 15 minutes needs to be filled out I was like oh what do you mean like I'm definitely not doing something every 15 minutes she's like no even

if you're sleeping fill that out if you're taking like a little brain break fill that out like it doesn't matter what you're doing just fill it in and this really helped me start understanding my time better and understanding how to use my time better and then from that like which was very structured I was able to have a better visualization of my time my time usage what works for me how do I chunk up my days what do I do during those hours what can I incorporate that would help it where do I have time to like actually study or extra hours that I can allocate to things that are important from there I was able to get like more of a looser schedule and move on to a planner now i love a planner i love a planner my favorite planner i shared with the

patreon girlies let me look up the name real quick just in case you're interested it's very simple it has like your full week mapped out it has months at the beginning and then also it has a blank page i hate a lined page i can't do a line page like i need to be able to brain map everywhere this is one that has really worked for me i use it pretty consistently last year and i actually repurchased it this year this is the first time in my life i've ever repurchased a planner i liked it that much but the best thing you can do is have a planner and check it in the morning every single day that that's literally all you have to do fill it out look at the week ahead check the month fill it out set up your day it is so simple but it's so life-changing and the best way to stay

consistent is to just like make it fun I know that seems so like duh but you have to make it fun I have colored pens I have little stickers I draw things in the page next to it I let myself cross things out I don't like have to achieve everything on my to-do list but at least writing it down helps me stay organized like it's very free-flowing it's very fun when you don't make it fun when you make it a punishment when you get down on yourself that's when you stop doing it so have fun with it get a cute color get fun pens make yourself excited to do it but it's called paperage it's on amazon i literally think it's twelve dollars they have like 30 different colors but it is so good paperage p-a-p-e-r-a-g-e not sponsored genuinely love it i'll post a photo on instagram

as well but truly to stay consistent you got to be accountable you got to understand yourself you gotta get a good routine and you have to have fun with it how the fuck do i lock in girl you just gotta want it i hate to say it i hate to say it but if you start with things you want that you can have fun with that you like genuinely enjoy and know will bring you joy in your life you will continue to stay locked in and be able to do more things do harder things do things that you don't want to do but start with the fun things first always what are your favorite things to do alone while high listen i'm just a girl i like to listen to music i like to watch a podcast watch a movie and scroll pinterest and tumblr like genuinely that is probably what i have the most fun doing

either that or sitting down and painting i need to put that on my resolutions as well i need to paint more it's something that i used to do all the time and something that genuinely i do enjoy I actually for 2023 one of my resolutions was to do a painting a month I think I only lasted like three months but maybe I'll do a painting a month now oh that could be fun that'd be a good challenge but painting doing something artistic being able to kind of like escape your mind while high is nice as well also last podcast I said I was gonna become a tea girl and I truly have my mom got me a bunch of like mixed tea bags for christmas and i've been slowly working my way through them this is a ginger mandarin green tea with lemon and honey and it is oh it is delectable do you

guys remember those teavana stores that were in the malls it was like i'm gonna go shop at forever 21 and then hit the teavana store for a refreshment they always had the best tea like it is such a childhood memory of mine of like being able to drink something and be like this is fucking tea like this is good and then starbucks saw them as a competitor bought them out ruined their fucking tea like ruined the aesthetic i have been scouring ebay for like vintage teavana cups vintage teavana teapots like so many different things and there's some grandmas on there selling like old packages of loose leaf tea and it's taking everything in me to not buy these like 2010 teavana tea mixes off ebay i mean it's only dried herbs but it seems like a risk let me know

if i should do it but if you have tea recommendations please please let me know someone asked spiritual tips going into the new year honestly every new year um i've kind of started this tradition of kind of treating myself expanding my knowledge getting to connect to a little bit more um by usually hiring like a tarot reader or an astrologer to do a reading for me read my chart do something at least for like a 12 month forecast every year i did this last year i felt like it was really fulfilling a lot of the things that she talked about um were very accurate but i like to do you know beginning the year let's look ahead let's be prepared you know see what the cards have to offer for you it's fun you'll learn more about yourself you also get

to i feel like having my chart read helps me learn more about the individual signs the different kinds of cards whatever it is um just because i'm able to make that connection a little bit easier and then it also helps the memory because it is relating back to me um so yeah treat yourself hire an astrologer um some good ones that come to mind are some good ones that come to mind are mercurial sarah on instagram i really love her weekly monthly forecast for the signs and then i've also had some luck with some etsy people my i think each one does very different things and um i think just really look at their reviews look at what they're charging make sure none of their pictures are ai you'll be in good hands i promise how do i be myself and stop trying to

mimic others oh i like this question actually i love this question because i like to think it's easier than you might actually think um i think inspiration is so fun don't get me wrong as an artist like there's nothing i love more um than flipping through an old art book an old magazine any sort of print media and gathering inspiration there it is genuinely something that i think can make good art the knowledge of it all the inspiration of it all but just sitting down and drawing that thing that has been drawn before it's never gonna look quite right it's not really you you're just replicating something you know sure great for practice great for understanding but for truly being yourself in an artistic manner that's not how you do it drawing inspiration

important copying not the thing you want to do now it is the easy thing um especially when you have companies that are like someone's wearing a one-off shirt maybe something they created something that they found the only one left of its kind at a thrift store and companies are able to replicate that item like that like instantly of course people are going to have the innate nature of being like okay i can see it i can buy it let me add it to my closet that's why we see so many trends that's why we see so many people like oh my gosh five items that changed my life this month that you need right now like sure some of it is something that might help most of it is just plastic with a price tag on it if we're being honest and you simply wearing that thing

is not going to make you turn into that inspiration also you're never going to feel quite adequate enough because you're not allowing yourself to be you you're trying to mimic something else exactly and it's impossible to do that so you're of course going to feel like you're not quite hitting the mark exactly so always remember the things that you're seeing you don't have to be that you're not in competition with that you're not trying to outdo that but what are you drawn to it like why are you drawn to it what is it and how can you use that as inspiration in your own life in your own personality how can you use that as inspiration to push you forward whether it's an outfit a lifestyle thing um something that you just admire about somebody else inspiration is

always important and it's important that you can find it anywhere you go but what are you translating that into i also think sure a lot of who you are comes from inspiration but also you can't sit here and thank yourself into a perfect person a lot of the perfectness the whole human quality that like otherworldly glow is simply from life experience and from things that they've been through or done or seen or participated in that transformed who they were and sticks with them every single day maybe they traveled to paris and they bought this one shirt that they love and now they wear it all the time maybe they you know used to be in the music scene all the time and they picked up this one habit and it's something that turned them into a new kind of person a lot of

knowing who you are and understanding who you are and becoming your true self is simply through experience the reason you admire that person so much is because they're doing the thing and you want to do so too so go out there stop sitting back stop waiting for the right moment and put yourself out there the world will open its arms to you i bet you'd be surprised how you know inviting it truly is and also I think you'd be surprised how quickly you start to grow how quickly you start to understand yourself whether it's like I like doing this thing or I don't like doing this thing either way you're learning something in the process and you're gonna feel a little bit closer to yourself at the end of the day oh I've become too independent having a hard

time prioritizing making friends I I totally feel this and I think it's okay to kind of like get in moments where you're like I'm chilling by myself I've been that way for like the past couple years where I'm like no like please I'm good I'm having a good time here and sure I have like close friends that I would occasionally hang out with but very independent very misindependent but now I think you'll naturally come out of that phase it's normal to do so I feel like you're kind of feeling that wave right now where you're like all right I've had my time alone but now I'm ready to like you know hang out with your friends more often have a good time it'll naturally come to you and if you feel like you're kind of standing in your own way because you have a hard time with maybe

compromise or knowing where to start your one goal should just be putting yourself out there reaching out saying yes you'd be surprised what opportunities approach you what people you can hang out with just open yourself up okay stop allowing yourself to say no stop you know putting harsh rules in order and just open your mind up to like the experience of it all up to you know the journey i think you'll learn a lot about yourself and make some very good friends in the process but it's going to feel awkward at first you're going to be like oh i'm not good at this i used to be such like a really social butterfly yes it was during my molly era genuinely I think it did help me become more social of a person oddly enough not that that's

why you should be doing that let me not encourage that behavior but it did and then I got out of that era thank god I'm much more healthier now but I kind of lost that social awareness and that like ease of small talk and the harsh truth of it all is like you won't know how to do that unless you just go and do it unless you go and practice so I'm such a little psycho freak and I'm like okay well let me use like my serving job as like practice at small talk like fuck let me just try it out you know we'll get better at it it does just take time and I know this because when I first started in the industry I was like I could barely talk to people and it's like well bitch I hired you to be our hostess like it's your job to like fake smile and talk to people so I had to

face the uncomfortable and learn how to do it and unfortunately just making yourself uncomfortable most of the times does work out in your favor you've got to try it you got to put yourself out there it's going to feel a little weird at first but you'll get used to it advice for heat damaged hair especially with bangs yours is glowing oh thank you babe but if you only knew the harsh realities okay hair update the reason my hair finally was able to heal from all the bleaching and heat I was using for probably three plus years was because I went cold turkey I went cold turkey for at least two years I think you know I would do my bangs occasionally I would occasionally do my hair probably like two times a month not that often but other than that you've

seen it i would just have it pulled back up into a claw clip so it wasn't in my face i wasn't overthinking it and i just had it out of the way i did that for two years finally my hair grew it healed it was amazing and then of course i decided to bleach it now i did go to a professional for this and she did do actually amazing and it is the exact hair i wanted and thank you girl so very much literally six hours of her time she was working overtime um but i got all over highlights bleach just lightened it in general i kept the roots pretty much similar because i don't mind a little grow out it's like i don't need to be white to the fucking scalp but now i am kind of facing like oh oh my hair is damaged again so this is what i've been doing a if i can go a couple

days without washing my hair i will um washing my hair every day is just really hard especially on bleached damaged hair so right now i'm going maybe like two or three days when it's healed healthy oh wash it every single day but for now every two or three days i wash my hair other than that i kind of just pull it back that just gives it a break from all the chemicals and just over drying i also deep condition my hair whether it's like a weekly hair mask i love the hair oil if you can do a deep hair oil every single week and every time i'm showering i'm also leaving in a conditioner as well some sort of leave-in conditioner like over hydrating my hair a little bit even since it's bleached um bringing that conditioner from the ends up into the roots as well um really just

trying to heal and aid so it doesn't snap in half also a healthy cut is nice especially if you notice the ends are damaged um she didn't cut much thank you for understanding my hair trauma babe i love you i was like listen you can take an inch she was like oh my god i can take at least an inch like okay she thought i was gonna be like a dusting no i was like you can take a little bit length off i don't mind i know my hair will be healthier for it and it is i usually get it trimmed like professionally once a month or once a year not that often i don't go once a month because my hair doesn't grow that fast if you can stay up on vitamins and protein and just eating well your hair will thank you for it as well but yeah my hair is beautiful but i was like oh no

i did kind of regress myself a little bit it's okay we'll get back on the wagon we're gonna stay on routine taking care of her she'll be good how to know if it gets better it does like i hate to break the news to you but it it really does it does and the key is you can't let yourself not believe it like no matter how low you get you just have to like keep smiling through the pain genuinely like for my anxiety and depression symptoms and disorders i like i have to choose to believe for my own sanity and well-being like truly you have to just believe in it if there's one thing you would have to be delusional about in this life it's that everything will work out for you it does make the hard times a little easier on you like even when i was just like

so anxious about danger this past week it was like i'm never gonna let myself get to the point of like no it's the end it's like nope we're gonna heal we're gonna take that medicine we're gonna do better we're gonna get through the next day and everything will be all right truly truly like that's what kept me sane i couldn't let myself like go on that deep dark spiral path like you gotta just believe in yourself how do i manifest my new year oh this is a good one i think a good like last question to leave you guys on i love the new year's energy the hope of it all if anybody's gonna keep it it's me okay let's keep that energy high babe all right do not let the demons get to you but if you want to like genuinely in your heart in your soul completely change your life

and transform into who you are desiring who you want to be you can do that all right manifestation tip number one it's possible like i said there's one person you need to be delusionally confident in it's you not that situationship not that 11 month long situationship babe okay yourself your goals your hopes your dreams your aspirations you have to confidently believe that you can achieve everything that it is an option and truly it is like if you want to do those things you can do those things. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in

support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales

using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify.

Here's how you do it. One thing you can do today is just up the self-care, okay? The better you feel about yourself, the more confident you feel about yourself, the more willing you are to take risks, to go achieve things, to go do things that maybe you wouldn't necessarily do in your day-to-day life.

Healthily, of course, but to get out and accomplish all those goals genuinely i think it starts with the self and how you feel about the self all right you can't go towards your goals in fear or in like oh i have to do this i don't want to do this but i'm forcing myself to you got to be excited about it you know you got to feel good in the choices that you're making and that genuinely comes with feeling good about yourself so today start the self-care if you also want another little activity i love a mood board a manifestation board even just writing it down having some sort of visual tool that you can go back and check in on in order to hold yourself accountable to remember these goals you

set to prioritize them the best way to forget about something is to never ever see it again so don't be only checking your manifestation list your goals for the new year today or this month make sure you keep up with it okay check it at the beginning of every month check at the end of every month if you're an every week kind of person that too and set goals accordingly um a big reason especially like as an adult that i think so many people flounder and don't know what to do is because they stop setting goals for themselves they stop like creating homework creating deadlines exams if you want to say that but set goals for yourself make sure these goals are aligning with things that you can actually achieve and with also like a bigger picture goal make sure it's keeping

your weekly routine up to date with what you want to achieve and how you want to achieve it and setting real daily goals that will essentially help you get to the finish line a lot of it is about structure and you know different ways you can embody those choices in your weekly routine your daily routine once your brain sees it as something that's like okay this is a part of our routine this is i don't even have to think about it second nature you would be surprised how quickly your manifestations start taking place how far you go how fast the finish line comes to you here's an example so for like um a tattoo portfolio an art portfolio whatever it is you need okay maybe 24 pieces ranging in many different styles aspects whatever people are

looking for so you know i'm gonna do two pieces of art a week that would be something that i can work into my daily routine that will help me get to that goal faster than doing it here and there forgetting about it for a month picking it back up whatever it is set real goals that will help you achieve those bigger picture things that seem so far out there that you have to classify it as like a manifestation and not something that is just an end of the year goal you know what i mean believe in yourself feel good about yourself know that everything that you want and desire can be yours put one foot in front of the other keep moving keep setting small goals for yourself don't let yourself get too stagnant for too long but that is like my foolproof manifestation

routine usually it'll become a part of your life like sooner than you ever could have realized honestly if you stay consistent to yourself and these goals you'd be surprised at what you can achieve and it's okay you know if you forget about it for a week for a month like i hear you don't allow that to completely fall off the wagon like don't allow yourself to completely forget about it then or like oh well i didn't stay consistent so now let me just throw it in the trash it's okay to pick things back up to re-believe into yourself to re-inspire yourself everything will work out in its own time the most important aspect is do you want it and how bad do you want it but yeah with that being said i hope you all have a fantastic rest of your week thank

you all for being so understanding so kind and i hope all of your dreams and your manifestations for 2025 come true i know they will if you want to keep up with me and you want to join the patreon follow the instagram at handlemarlene and patreon patreon.com slash smoke so shoddy stay sexy stay sane and i'll see you guys so soon Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Ready to take your investing knowledge to pro level? This is Fidelity Connects, your daily edge in the markets. Get deep insights on real-time market topics that may impact your investment portfolio. Listen to Fidelity Connects on Spotify today and power your next move tomorrow.