Smoke Sesh - nipple piercings & codependency

Episode Date: February 24, 2022

Happy Thursday! Hannah talks global updates & anxiety, codependency and signs of a healthy relationship, how to be a helper not a healer, nipple piercings, sex, college, her first time hitting a bong & future plans. Thank you all for showing up feel free to light up and hang out remember to send all questions to Instagram @hannahmarlene and I’ll see you Thursday! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. It's not really the morning, actually.

It's like 12 o'clock. but i woke up late i woke up at like seven and i looked outside and it was completely snowing um every time i look outside and it's snowing i get so sad because i'm so ready for spring like i'm so ready but i was sitting at the bar the other day i'm not sitting at the bar i was fucking bartending not having a good time well i mean i was having a good time but i was bartending okay and we were talking about the last snowstorm that blew through and how i was like oh i don't think it's gonna be that big it ended up being a huge snowstorm um but i was like i'm just so ready for spring like i'm over it and one of my um regulars he was like well the groundhog saw his fucking

shadow so it's gonna be a long winter and i really did not believe him at all until it died oh my god i'm over the snow that's all i know that is all i know um and also how the fuck is that stuff true how is that real how does the groundhog see a shadow and know it's going to be winter i mean i know it's a team of men behind him like putting together a weather report and doing it but it what you know what i mean like where did that come from anyways the groundhog was correct and it's currently snowing as i look out my window i just am so ready for spring i have been buying so many cute summer stuff and like mini dresses and fun little heels and i can't wear that shit in the snow because i will a fall over or b catch hypothermia so just gonna avoid

that for now um I post like a ton a ton in the summer on Instagram and I even looked at my Instagram I was like I haven't posted in a while it's because I'm stuck inside all the time like I need to change up my environment I need to get out a little bit and I can't do that in the snow and it sucks but let's talk a little bit about war I know I know I didn't think I would have to have this conversation also like i've been thinking about it a lot so let's bring it up on the podcast not to make you guys anxious or anything it's a valid thing that's going on in the world right now um but i mean last night and this morning early this morning russia invaded ukraine um and i believe they were dropping bombs near one of ukraine's major airports near their

capital city um so a little nerve-wracking when i heard that um if anybody else has anxiety trust me i feel you i'm just as anxious as you are um i think the reason that i'm like anxious about this usually war whatever doesn't make me super duper anxious i do believe that most government leaders want to avoid a world war three would like to avoid mass casualties as much as possible i genuinely believe that i don't think that's good for anybody's economy i don't think that's good for anybody's like fucking country at all especially post pandemic that we just went through um because all all the countries are kind of in chaos still from the pandemic so i don't think we can really handle a world war three situation right now um so i do

genuinely believe they're probably gonna do the most that they can possibly do to ideally i like to hope but also do i have any trust in government leaders no little to none but i do try to open my heart that like god damn they want to avoid world war three but also here's the thing if we do go into a world war three i'm not getting drafted that is for sure i am not getting drafted i will sew a goddamn flag i will i don't know i will go farming whatever it takes but i will not get drafted they've already sent me to the psych ward once they will not be calling me up that is for real for sure um anyways but it is a sorry not to be funny this is not a funny situation but yeah we gotta laugh through it to make it through you know what i mean um but i've been watching a

bunch of like news feeds this morning from ukraine and it is like a very uh serious scary thing and i think the thing that makes me so anxious about this is because i remember exactly two years ago in fucking february sitting in my art class in school i know crazy right who would have thought in school no mass mass we're not a thing yet we were sitting there talking about oh my god there's this giant virus and uh and who knows if it gets over here but they're thinking it might so we might have a little longer extra spring break hey you know what i mean and spring break is coming up again and i remember spring break came and it ended up just full wave fucking pandemic had to finish the semester online and it completely blew my mind because we were all joking oh my god what

if a pandemic hits like crazy right like that's never happened and then it hit and then it was a very serious fucking thing for a long time and so i think what scares me most is knowing that i went through that feeling of oh lol what if this happens and then it actually fucking happened and that blew my mind so now all of us sitting here joking like oh what if we go to war what if there's a world war three i think all the people who are making jokes are kind of gonna to be a little shocked oh when it comes to what's about to happen because it involves russia and russia is insane but i don't know i really do hope most of it gets settled and solved very quickly i hope that everybody in ukraine is staying safe i hope everybody in russia is staying safe too

not not the russian officials who are doing this and putin but i do genuinely genuinely believe that a lot of the civilians living in russia do not want to go through this um are for peace i've seen that a majority of them do not agree with what putin is doing um i saw this live stream on tiktok from a guy who's currently in russia and he was just live streaming from the street because i mean everybody is taking the streets right now in russia and everybody was chanting like about peace like we need to find peace as an option and i was like okay valid it is just the government officials who are fucking hard-headed so maybe they just need to take putin now or something i don't know i'm not one to solve this i am unfortunately just a civilian and i am at the

whims of the government officials just as much as you are um so in it together we'll be okay we will um i don't i genuinely don't believe anybody wants to get into a war right now and a pandemic is something you you can control but when it's a disease that you don't really know much about it is you are kind of at the mercy of the disease which i think is why um the pandemic was so long and we were so confused for such a long time but war war is something we've been doing for a while war is something humans know innately and it's something that we can also control so i'm really hoping that people fucking step up and pull through and we can avoid a world war three because that would be incredible i am 22 i do not need to live through that anyways i hope you all

are staying safe i understand this can bring a lot of anxieties um once again something that i do like to tell myself when i do get super anxious about things like that is if i can't control it it does not deserve to be on my mind okay and if i can't control the outcome of a world war three or a pandemic or whatever then it does not deserve to be on my mind of course i'm gonna think realistically about choices i need to make as a human but um there's no reason to spend my entire day worrying and anxious over something that is currently um not and not to be like dismissive but it's not currently affecting me right now so i just need to wait and hope and pray that everything gets solved and um hopefully the ukrainian people are safe and okay and yeah

that's all i really got to say about that one that is that's what i've been the most stressed about i really saw the news last night of um ukraine or ukraine being invaded by russia and i was like fuck oh no like i was like fuck is this a pandemic again like well not a pandemic but i'm just worried that we're gonna fall back into the same oh lol what if this happens and then it does happen kind of routine like this this fucking life that i've lived has been crazy like i've lived through a pandemic could you imagine living through a world war as well no no no no um but i know me and tbh if you're listening to this podcast if you are sitting here listening to smoke sesh you are not getting drafted babes we are mentally ill we are staying

here we're we're gonna be gardeners okay if i have to get pregnant i will i do not care bye i am not going to war that is for sure anyways let's smoke a bowl let's clear the air i did have to address it because i know a bunch of people are probably very concerned and worried about it um until there's something you can physically do about it there's no reason to be anxious over it um all we can do really do is wait hope that things get settled and pray for the people who are going through it currently um and if you are listening from any of those areas if you're listening from europe anywhere um even ukraine i don't know how or why or russia anybody would be listening to this podcast from there but i hope you're staying safe i hope you're choosing

peace and i love you and um yeah let's smoke this bowl and let's get into some questions being kind of like on an impending world war three jokes jokes i know it's a joke no anxiety but it really puts things into perspective especially for me because i'm like if we like we hit a pandemic right and i think that made a lot of us question what we truly want to do with our lives how we want to spend our time um what we want to do in the future what's holding us back what do we need to change and i think like we all we all kind of had those thoughts whether we did anything with them or not um but with an impending war possibly and something that our country could get involved in it makes me question even more like okay oh my

god my boyfriend left a bowl packed for me oh you know a person is truly in love with you when they leave something rolled or leave a bowl packed for you when they leave the way he did that love that okay anyways um with you know a possible war uh it makes me think like it makes me kind of look over my life my current life my current situation in question like am i in a place that i am genuinely genuinely happy am i doing things that are genuinely for my own good am i making choices that i'm that if i die like i will be happy with the life i lived and i think like yes but it also makes me question and want to change the little things and kind of reach for those bigger goals that i do have i don't know i think it's kind of a great reminder for us to be thankful

for what we do have but also like kind of makes me question um where i am currently and where do i want to see myself and kind of makes me want to be more driven towards those goals because like if a world war three hits our lives would be completely put on pause for however many years that shit takes okay and if it doesn't happen like thank the lord but i need to stop taking my life for granted so much and start making those big decisions that are maybe scary or maybe i don't think would work and maybe take a risk more often um because who knows if it'll pay off or not and i feel like my own mortality makes me not want to take those risks as often um when in reality life is all about risk taking but let's take this little bully bowl

i really can't believe all that shit's happening though also my last podcast tuesday it was a 2 22 episode which was very exciting i had a great time with you guys but like i said i told you guys i was gonna go get some tarot cards and i did ended up getting them i've been thinking about these tarot cards for months um there was just one deck that i saw when i went in there and i had it on my mind did i really even know what it looked like anymore when i walked in there no but i knew it was meant for me and some of you guys i posted pictures of it on my instagram if you want to check it out there at hannah marlene and some of you guys messaged me

and were like oh my god i have that deck i love that and then some of you guys were like what deck is it i'm obsessed and i got the star spinner tarot um it's 81 cards by trungles and i just love the illustrations it kind of reminded me of my inner child kind of reminded me of like how i used to do art and kind of that whimsical fun fairy fantasy um so yeah i got those we can pull a card today do you guys want to pull a card um best way like i said in my last podcast a lot of my spiritual work has to do with my intuition and i did used to do a lot of tarot card um readings especially for other people um but now i kind of just want to keep it to myself and if you are a tarot user um best way to kind of just have it every day or integrate your cards into

your everyday life is to um just do a one card reading and i like to do it in the mornings so then it kind of helps me sorry i'm gonna shuffle these cards it kind of helps me um put a perspective on what i need to do during my day or how i need to approach my day which i think is super duper helpful um i'm just gonna give it a quick little shuffle here put some intentions into my cards um these cards were stiff as fuck when i got them i had to stretch them out okay let's pull a card let's see what jumps out to us okay oh i got the eight of wands but it's reversed and i think it's very important that you keep the cards

the direction that you have them facing you because they each way has a um different meaning so let's find let's figure out what the i'm still learning i know basically the major arcana but i don't know the minor oh i'm like the chalices the coins all that shit i'm still learning that so let me just pull this up do do do and maybe i'll do this every podcast honestly it's kind of fun okay eight of wands reversed though you want to move on to the next stage and your goals it feels like an uphill battle there's a restlessness and willingness to move but there's also a lack of direction this causes impatience and distraction which further exacerbates your delays period um yeah yeah yep yep yep felt that okay thank you universe love that i am very i do feel very

restless like i just said all these questions are or all these things happening are making me question what i'm doing in my life and where i want to go and i do have a lot of very very big goals I have a lot of very um far goals as well and when I have these big goals it's hard for me to even take the first step because all of it gets super duper overwhelming so I simply just don't make any step and I just focus on how overwhelming it all is and where I want to be instead of actually making change and I do believe that the and you do just have to take one step at time and you got to start small small steps um but making like a list and i'm probably going to do this later i have my day off so i do need to start planning a little bit more um but making

a list of all the little steps you need to do and i know it's going to be super overwhelming you're going to have like 40 little steps written down okay to get to your big goal but if you take it literally one step at a time you do what you can um all of those like little 40 steps that were so overwhelming will completely disappear and you will have your goal and if you just pace yourself literally pace yourself because i burn out so easily so that's a great reminder for the universe thank you universe that was really nice um but you guys sent me tons and tons and tons of questions to my instagram at hannah marlene always in on there i always put up a questionnaire for you guys and my dms are always open if you have any longer uh more in-depth

questions you want me to answer but i think i'm gonna answer a couple of those first um but let's get into it what did i do 222 i feel like i need to fill you guys in oh okay well we did a podcast together love that had tons of fun um and then i kind of just spent the afternoon journaling hanging out smoking watching tv doing my thing and then my boyfriend took me to lawrence because he's my personal chauffeur um i hate driving i hate driving can we talk about this humans are not meant to drive it is crazy that i can get in a vehicle and go 80 to 100 miles down the road or miles per hour down the road like are you kidding me in a tiny little metal oh my gosh terrifying i've been in so many car crashes not my fault tbh i have it's literally never been my

fault i'm gonna knock on wood um but i hate driving now i think we should all just have public transportation all the time i would love to get on a subway every day and use that as my transportation i hate driving so whenever i cannot drive i choose not to so i made my boyfriend drive me to lawrence got some um tarot cards and then i went to third planet in lawrence love that place we also went um well if you go upstairs they have like all the smoking stuff and i am trying to plan merch for you guys i know so exciting but i want it to be good i want it to be very good i'm like do i do hoodies i've done tote bags before do i do stickers or lighters i probably do little things like lighters and stickers but i want to know maybe hoodies maybe

robes like what do you guys want to see what would you love to use maybe like rolling trays i have no idea but let me know if there's anything you have in your mind that you'd love to buy i would love to do just like a basic hoodie i think that's so fun i think everybody needs a cute little basic to wear um but let me know let me know what you're interested in it wouldn't be merch like smoke across the front i like to make it more artsy more fun more so like a brand than it is like a merch vibey thing you know what i mean but i'm trying to work on that and there were tons and tons of things that they had that were super inspiring and fun to look at in companies that i've worked with in the past they had like they had all their blazy susan stuff um broccoli mag

is a very interesting um like if you're a smoker it's like a very much so a smokers magazine they also have a mushroom people mag if you're interested in like psilocybin and stuff um they didn't have it there but i do love broccoli mag you can order that online they might have a podcast where they talk about weed um i haven't really listened to it yet i'm sure it's good no idea but also they had a bunch of dime bag stuff there and just i was it's so fun to look at all of it plus like the art a lot of the glass pieces are very much so art i could not imagine being able to craft that it's incredible um but that's what we did and then we went to burger stand and got some burgers and i got a chicken sandwich because i just love me a good chicken sandwich

i can't lie okay i was gonna post made something but i i don't think i'm gonna do that anymore i should probably save money so i'm gonna make me some ramen i love love love two favorite like childhood like comfort foods straight up top ramen not the ramen that comes in the cup with the gross ass like paper cup that you put the hot water in no i'm talking the top ramen that you get and it's in the little tiny like paper not paper plastic baggie um and i usually do like a creamy chicken it's a vibe and then also frosted flakes or any cereal but specifically frosted flakes or cinnamon toast crunch those like heal my inner child tbh but like i said you guys send me so many questions and very valid questions things that are that have been we've been talking about

for a while one of them specifically that i feel like i need to dive deeper into um and i do get a lot and a lot and a lot of questions about is codependency um very valid very valid i feel like anyone in a relationship probably deals with codependency issues um and the best way to not deal with codependency issues is to both be healed before you enter that relationship and do healing while you're in that relationship now does that happen a lot no does you're still valid of love whether you are completely healed or not um and if you find yourself in a position where you have an incredible partner and you do want to fall in love but maybe you're not healed maybe you can do that together absolutely but it is a teamwork thing once you hit a relationship okay codependency

i feel like is mainly now i could be speaking out of line here i could be i feel like men also deal with it as well um but personally i have mainly dealt with it as a woman so i am going to be speaking from a woman's perspective here um but a lot of women do deal with codependency issues and from where that stems from i don't know i feel like it's very different for every person whether it's insecurity whether it's past trauma from relationships whether it is childhood trauma whether it is parental trauma it could it could stem from very much so anything does that make sense now it doesn't matter where it stems from because there's many many tips to kind of help with it first tip i feel like many many people are attached to the idea of being the healer

and you can be the healer it is important to be the healer but you need to understand where that limit starts and stops okay you cannot love somebody into a whole person does that make any sort of sense okay that person needs to do that work on their own you should be in a vicinity near them to offer support and i say this uh also with like when it comes to um i get a lot of questions that are like my friend is mad at me or she's going through a hard time and i don't know what to do i don't know how to be supportive without it taking a toll on my mental health and I feel like when people try to inject themselves into other people's problems and make them their problem and try and become the fixer is when you get overwhelmed and upset and

you get tired and the way to avoid that is simply to just be in the vicinity of the person you love and offer support but do not offer answers okay you cannot offer answers because that person needs to come to that conclusion on their own you can be a helper but you cannot be a healer all right you can heal yourself but you cannot waste your time trying to heal other people and do a whole person they need to do that work on their own and with support of you okay does that make sense and like like i said when it comes to oh my partner's going through depression my partner's going through something how do i help them literally the best way to ever help somebody is simply just offer support and show that you are there for them especially in the times where

things are hard okay i think i tweeted this one time but it's like you really do have to choose your peace and a lot of you are ruining your peace by making other people's problems your problems you have to let people go through those problems on their own and deal with them because it's going to make them ultimately a better person all right but um i just found this reading and i think it's very incredible and it's a little personal but i relate to it so much especially if you listen to the 222 episode at the very end of it i talk about toxic relationships and how it kind of feels and what it's like um and i think this kind of wraps up how i feel about the whole healing process especially after you've given yourself so much to the point that you

lost yourself um unlearning people pleasing slash codependency for me involves a very uncomfortable process of learning to set emotional and mental boundaries i do not currently have the emotional or mental energy to allow someone to disturb my peace more than once i can't give people all the chances to hurt me i used to at the first hint of a mind game i'm cutting them off anyone whose influence in my life increases confusion overthinking stress or self-loathing is cut off i'm done gaslighting myself if i feel uncomfortable i feel uncomfortable and that's enough i'm finally putting myself first no more subliminal messages no more passive-aggressive communication you're either direct and positive with me or not in my life at all no more settling for crumbs constantly

being misunderstood or feeling like i have to explain myself i have poured and poured and poured from an empty cup all my life you either pour into my cup or you're not in my life that is literally necessary to recover my health wow literally um i straight up okay i've been love i love tumblr i literally have used tumblr since 2014 on and off but it's from daughter of a narcissistic or narcissist woman on tumblr i do have to shout her out um or them so sorry but That was incredible because I feel like like I said Last part a lot of our codependency stress esteem What am I trying to say stems from us trying to be the healer or like I or like she said the people pleaser

Okay, you have to make them feel good. No, you're not in charge of those other people's emotions They need to make themselves feel good. All right, and that's like kind of the first step to healing the codependency issue it stems way further than that we're we're gonna get into it do not worry but i feel like the first bridge i had to get over was i am not a people pleaser i cannot fix this person i can help this person i can aid in the in their healing but they need to be willing to heal themselves and if they aren't you simply are gonna run yourself dry all right codependence is birthed from the belief that love is only found when you have tires tirelessly earned it if you've experienced neglect instead of unconditional love it's common to cling on to sensations that resemble the illusion of what love

might look like many people go to unhealthy lengths just to stay in relationships altering and gaslighting their own deep feelings while compromising themselves for the sake of affection what has made you believe that you are fragments of a truth waiting to be complete what are you searching for that does not begin within you when you enter a new relationship you have to hold on and quite honestly fight for the idea that you are your own person you are your own person in that relationship sure it's a relationship um you're two people coming together though you have to be two people and you have to also allow your partner to be their own person so whenever i get um this used to happen a lot especially in past relationships i get jealous or worried or anxious

or any of those negative feelings and essentially i just have to consistently remind myself that this is another human being this is another person i have to allow them to be a human being and be a person i have to allow them to have moments to grow to have opportunities to change to become their full selves the same way i would want to be honored in a relationship the same way i would want to be um helped to grow does that make sense and if you look at it that way more so than you look at it as a relationship um it makes solving issues and solving your own anxiety and figuring out where you fit within the relationship a lot easier people are human and being in a relationship you're going to realize how human those people can be

but you do have to allow space for your partner to be that person because i mean you should want that space allowed for you as well does that make sense so here's some things you can do to kind of stop um a codependent relationship or just in general um things to stop doing to create healthier relationships step one um expecting people to read your mind and guess how you feel um no one is a mind reader as much as i pray and hope and i don't know maybe this comes from my childhood and me having to constantly guess what people are feeling and how they're perceiving me through passive aggressive emotions but you cannot assume how people feel and your peace will come when you start just letting people come to you always assume there's no issue until you have

been told there is one okay um stop expecting people to also understand how you feel you if you have not directly communicated how you feel and what hurt you or what made you happy in any sort of way how can you expect somebody else to pick up on that okay it's like the fucking tiktok video or trend where it's like i don't i don't want you to buy me i don't want to tell you to buy me flowers because then it's me telling you to buy me flowers and i want you to buy me flowers because you want to buy okay stop fucking expecting people to read your mind tell them you want flowers and if they don't bring you flowers break up with them or go find somebody who's going to buy you flowers like it's very simple you don't have to keep yourself stuck in these cycles of

heartbreak um being silent about the things that have hurt you um dishonoring your boundaries to keep peace um punishing yourself for not healing fast enough that's super important because you you simply need time to heal and time you have to be very patient um carrying emotional baggage that doesn't belong to me like we just spoke about and overextending yourself to make everyone unhappy if you overextend yourself to compensate for other people's lack of whatever the fuck they're going through you're gonna run yourself dry and you're gonna end up resenting those people okay especially if those are people who maybe just like didn't do anything wrong or aren't asking for your help and you're overextending yourself and now you resent those people when in the first

place they never asked for you to be there which is fine that's valid so just like i said stop making other people's problems your problem um trying to get people to change heal grow who aren't ready a lot of people aren't ready to grow and i've realized this through the years a lot of people are not ready to grow a lot of people are not ready to change a lot of people are not ready to look their traumas in the fucking eyes and face them and it's a majority of the population so if people are like that and they're hard-headed let them simply let them okay but do not take on that project unless you're getting paid quite honestly as a therapist and those bitches get paid a lot that's like a that's like a 300 hour okay um staying in relationships that have expired

refusing to let go because you're too scared of what could come next all right the only person who can make positive choices for yourself is you um avoiding conflict and hoping that things will just get better i don't know if i said that yet but it's um and excusing unhealthy behavior because you quote unquote love them all right all right i don't know if you're taking notes here must be a great time to take notes class all right write those bitches down whenever you're feeling bad you're feeling sad go through them is this a healthy relationship ask yourself that is this person ready to grow are you taking on too much all of these questions are very valid questions and the only person who can pick what is best for you is you and sometimes i have also been the

person who's not ready to grow who's not ready to change okay and like i said in my last podcast i got stuck in a cycle of me just being hurt over and over again hurt hurt overextending myself being pushed aside being taken for granted and it i was straight up in a cycle for two years of going through this and it took me getting to a point of just getting fucking tired of it to kind of end the cycle so choose yourself it's okay to choose yourself it's okay to be a little selfish all right you're living this world you're living this life for yourself at the end of the day the only person you die with is yourself so make sure the the actions you're doing the choices you're making are going to be things that in what 70 80 years from now you look back on and you say

i did the best i could i did the best i could with the cards i'm dealt and i'm proud to be here that's it that's all you can do that is the only that's the only choice we're really given in this life is to choose what's best for us okay we're gonna load a little bully bowl and then some people were asking me like some fashion trend or what did they ask me okay tell us about your style and fashion trends at the moment that you like and don't like um right now my fashion style has very much been like oversized street wear simply because it's freezing like i said this morning it's snowed i'm cold i have to layer as much as i want to be a cute little hottie out in the snow i can't because i'm a baby okay like i i just can't i need to layer up so like

right now i've been loving denim on denim i think it's great either a dark wash denim or a light wash denim um especially like i'll do like a combat boot plus um oversized denim jeans plus like i have this green new york hoodie and then i throw on a matching denim coat comfy comfy cute little sportswear glasses um or the other day i did like this red white and blue new york south pole oversized sweater with the double denim and then my um black puffer coat okay and then i also did like doc martens great love it 10 out of 10 now trends that i'm seeing i don't i'm not seeing a lot of trends tbh i don't really look for the trends i'm not really paying attention to what other people are wearing i'm more so looking at things that i need in my

closet right now to kind of fulfill outfits like filler pieces does that make sense like i feel like i'm always purchasing um like statement pieces and i kind of need to back off from that so i've been looking at a lot of shoes recently because i need some new shoes i don't have a lot of like fun funky fresh shoes to spice up my outfits so i remember in like where's the weed um i remember in like eighth grade white adidas's were super popular i think it was like adidas all stars just white and black with the black stripes um that was like super duper popular and i remember getting a pair maybe like beginning of high school that was really when it was um and then i remember throwing them away well to be honest they probably should have been thrown away um but i love them i

wore them all the time but they were my frat shoe in college so those bitches were disgusting because i was all up in those frat basements like disgusting also like sprinting through the mud from cops like i would go party in the winter time like those bitches had been worn through so um i kind of i got my boyfriend actually a pair of black um i don't know like i think it's a taishans um black adidas and it has like a black a black sole but then the white stripes they're really kind of cute so i think i'm gonna get myself a pair of those um but like a smaller size for me because i'm like okay that could be really cute in the summer also it's great for winter um i was looking at nikes but i think i'm gonna stay away from nikes um and then also i just

bought a pair of you know how everybody's been wearing like red cowboy boots i like the vibe of the red shoe i just didn't want red cowboy boots because i was like uh everybody and their mom is wearing red cowboy boots so i found this incredible vintage italian designer and i found a pair of shoes on ebay and they're vintage um snake skin small heel slight pointed toe boots with an incredible calf cut and they're skinny so they they fit they don't fit chunky like a cowboy cowboy boot they fit skinny like almost like a tall heel which i love love love love so let me hit this some pieces i'm gonna be investing in and i want to start posting more outfit of the days on tiktok so stay tuned for that i think it'd be really fun to do and just like little

vlogs like daily vlogs just to kind of get me back in the in the TikTok vibe and it's a great way to kind of document my life so I think I'm gonna start doing that more so if you're interested in what I'm wearing daily I'll probably post updates on my Instagram story and my TikTok but some things that I've been looking at purchasing recently are um Los Angeles apparel incredible wonderful brilliant my boyfriend bought me something from there for Valentine's Day I was like thank god um he just understands me but their skorts they have really really adorable cheer skorts i love love love a good mini skirt but i'm always fucking flashing people like my pussy is always out and that's an issue because she's cute she's come she's adorable but she

likes to be stay private you know what i mean so the cheer skorts have like mini shorts like mini mini shorts under them which i think is incredible like i love wearing a skirt but also feeling inhibited like I can still do shit you know what I mean so I'm gonna invest in a few colors of those um maybe like a black one maybe like a colored one too like maybe a green they had a beautiful green one um and then also the skims skims made these like skin tight um baby tees but they're not baby tees they're longer they probably would have cut right above my belly button um but i um sorry my dad just texted me i've seen those before and they always look incredible the fit always looks incredible on people and i bought the skims dress a while ago

so i i really have faith in the fact that it's gonna fit really nicely and i've been needing some new basic tees so i think i'm gonna buy a few of those um other than that um things that i've been looking to buy nothing really other than that like i'm looking for some basic shoes oh my god the other day i bought these fucking i'm also looking for new black loafers because someone on depop sold me loafers and they immediately fell apart i wore them once and they fell the fuck apart and they were also the wrong size that's an issue but when you do shop on depop you do have to be a little careful because some people don't give a fuck about what they're selling and they'll just sell it to you for a shit ton of money so always ask the

quality um always ask i don't know if it's worth it i mean i did do that and they kind of lied to me but protect yourself you know what i mean protect yourself um things i've thrifted recently which i'm very uninhibited at the thrift store if i see something it's cute i like it i buy it um i i finally joined the ugg trend i know i guess that is a trend that i finally jumped on um there were just a pair of uggs there like the short uggs for like four dollars gently worn so of course i'm gonna snatch them up you know maybe i'll fit a fit out of them they're four dollars as well it's like whatever i'll grab them i also found these incredible brown suede knee-high boots that are lace up and they have these like incredible buckle details it's giving diesel

i love it with a fur trim i got those because they're just like bad bitch boots that's what my boyfriend called them um and i think i'm gonna pair those i just got a mini skirt or not a mini a pink mini dress from narguch on um depop and she handmade it and it's really good great quality um i do need to shrink it in the wash so it fits a little tighter but i think i'm gonna pair those together and like a pair of like the wraparound dior sunnies um and then i have this blonde rabbit fur coat that i might pair with it who knows i'm like thinking about it i need to get some good instagram pictures in it at least and then i also thrifted i put this on my instagram story these like one of y'all were like not the geels but they're literally like incredible wood platform

cut out denim jean heels and they're incredible like lace up little toe cut out incredible and then i also got a long denim skirt i know i know but i was like it's so cute i haven't tried it on yet but i got a long denim skirt because i think it'll pair really cute with like bikini tops in the summer now it's a dark denim wash so i think i might try and um bleach it in the wash kind of lighten it up a little bit but that's gonna be really fucking cute and then i also got just a new pair of white jeans because the white jeans i did have don't fit anymore um i tried to fit those on the other night and when we were going to a concert or something and my boyfriend started to like pull them over my ass and i was like these don't fit anymore but also like thank

god these don't fit anymore because my ass has to be getting fatter hell yeah um also so mirror no maybe not mirror yes mirror palace or whatever it's called people always say mirror palace and i'm like i don't think that's how it's said but anyways um they had these incredible like lace sheer tie front tops um with a cute little like bell sleeve and i wanted one so bad but am i gonna spend 250 no at least not right now maybe one day i'd spend that but definitely not on the budget right now and i literally just thrifted this black lace um long sleeve top from forever 21 in like 2005 and it's adorable it's basically a dupe it's so cute i can't believe i found it but listen with the thrift store i'm uninhibited i bought playboys one time i buy a lot of coach

bags um a lot of just random things that i think will make a great statement items i especially good at the thrift store but things that i'm purchasing with like real world money like kind of expensive pieces are usually always um basics things that i can make multiple outfits of um everything else it's fun and funky and fresh it's a seven dollar buy at the thrift store so keep that in mind okay um someone just asked me i just got braces on the inside of my teeth dot dot dot is giving head a no-go um do you mean like a permanent retainer because i have one of those and i have no issue with giving head um i love that i'm just like very open and free on this podcast because a few of you dm me and were like listening to you talk about sex in public

love it girly and i'm like oh my god that's so funny um but no i can give head perfectly fine with a like a permanent retainer which i think is what you're talking about the braces on the inside of your teeth like i got my braces completely off and they put a permanent retainer on the bottom um which i i guess i thought was gonna come out but it doesn't it's just there to hold your teeth in place um and i've never had issue giving head to be fair you're not using your teeth or like the inside or outside of your teeth so you should be chilling during head like tbh you can just like if you just wrap your lips over your teeth which is always a good practice when giving head you should always kind of have like your um lips wrapped around your teeth so if you do

accidentally like i don't know shake it a little too i don't know your head gets at a weird angle your teeth aren't bumping bumping into his dick it's like you have a padding of like gut not gum but lip you know what i mean which is also a reason i think i like i wouldn't i'm not gonna really ever get like lip filler i don't think but like every like in my everyday life i'm very happy with my lips like i'm chilling i'm very positive about how i look but i feel like i need some lip filler because my lips would be popping if i was given blowjobs you know what i mean like that's the only reason i would want it anyways like fae's lips i look at her lips and i'm like if i had those i would give some crazy fucking head like i already give crazy head but if i had like giant

like blowjob lips oh incredible but that's like a lifelong choice i have to make and i'm not ready to make that you know what i mean no but you should be fine go for it girl uh and if tell the man you might be taking a risk you're like hey i just got these braces i'm do you can i give you head you might get cut but who knows it's probably a risk they'll take and you'll find out very quickly okay another sex question which i think is very valid um what's your favorite trick to do while having sex um okay there's a lot of tricks there's a lot of tips and tricks let's get into it should i load another bowl should i okay so like over the years i've learned um so we as women have something called a pelvic floor muscle it's basically kind of your abs

um and also like a combination of squeezing your abs like your lower ab muscles and squeezing your pussy i know it's also kind of like squeezing your asshole too i guess would be the same it's like similar muscles but not the same like you're not squeezing your asshole you're definitely squeezing your fucking pussy um but it's similar muscles because like even at birth when women are giving birth uh straight up nurses will be like push like you're having to take a shit because you're essentially kind of pushing the same muscles and it'll it'll do the same thing now when a man is inside you ladies you can squeeze those muscles you can squeeze them you can't and it's also a great practice just to like strengthen your muscles as well um it's the same thing that

women do when they put a yoni egg inside of them which i've never tried valid if you have but um you put a yoni egg and essentially you squeeze your pelvic floor muscles to hold the egg inside of you and it makes those like muscles really strong great for childbirth great for your pelvic floor muscles after birth and also great for sex you'll probably have stronger orgasms um now you can just do that while it dicks inside you it's just the same exercise and also it makes men lose their fucking mind like if you're like i need this man to come like i want to i want him to lose his soul just start squeezing your pelvic floor muscles just start squeezing it literally because it's kind of like a suction um it's like essentially you're sucking their dick with your

pussy does that make sense so if you squeeze those floor muscles it does kind of create a suction and now it's the same kind of natural thing that happens to your body when you do orgasm um your pelvic floor muscles are going to kind of pulsate like that as well you can just recreate it like by yourself by just squeezing it um yeah literally will suck their dick um what else i don't know i have a lot of tips and tricks but that's really the only one i can think of right now that's like the best like that's the that's the first one that i really put to use and saw results right away also it's just like great for strengthening your pussy like tbh you're gonna come harder i've noticed if i do that when i'm like about to come like i'll come 10 times harder

um and yeah my friends will be like oh my god i actually pissed myself i'm like it babe your pelvic floor muscle is just not strong here's a tip now go fuck your boyfriend and get stronger literally like literally or a dildo you don't need a boyfriend um but oh do you believe in soulmates they asked um platonically or romantically illy illy love you um yes i do i do but i don't believe in the um you're destined for one person i think my whole life is gonna be me being a variety of different people like still staying true to myself but i mean life is about growing and changing and that also means as i've learned in past relationships you sometimes grow and change out of those people and that's okay that's

valid that's fine you should always just enjoy the time that you guys have together and spend it having the most fun you can okay whether that is a lifetime or a short time make it a good one all right but i do think you have a lot a lot of soulmates and a lot of potential soulmates that you could have never thought about whether they're friends like you said platonic or a relationship you can find them in both places i have my best friends that i've had since fucking childhood since middle school that those are my real soulmates those are the people who i have been with the longest who i've changed the most in front of and we still continuously pick each other and show up for each other that's a soulmate okay now if you outgrow each other if you need to move

on that's fine soulmates do also have expiration dates um but yeah yeah i do believe in soulmates i i would say so yes um but always once again you can look for them outside of just relationships I do believe they exist within friendships as well and sometimes they're even stronger that way okay I've been getting a lot of questions about my nipple rings which I don't know if I've told you guys but I have my nipples pierced it's a vibe but um so I'll just tell you my little nipple journey because a lot of you guys have been like is this normal did it hurt what do I do oh my gosh and I had a lot of the same questions and I watched a lot of YouTube story times about them and i feel like the information i got was maybe a little different than the information

or the experience i had so here's how my whole nipple piercing story went down so all of high school it was something that i wanted to get done i was so excited i wanted to do it i think one of my friends had it done because she turned 18 before us and i was like oh my god those are so hot love it I want that so um essentially when I went off to college I finally had the freedom the time to do so I was away from my parents so I loaded up all my friends and we went to our local little tattoo shop and um I think it was they were having literally like a college deal they were like it's $50 for one but if you get both it's still $50 and I was like both it is all right also I couldn't just get one if I was getting my nipples pierced I had to get

both just because I'm kind of like all about being even I don't know one on me I think would just look crazy so I needed both um and I was very nervous very nervous I don't think I was prepared for the pain and as time has gone on i've forgotten about the pain um would i get my nipples re-pierced no that shit hurted like a like so bad like the shit hurts so bad but not to scare you it was not as bad as my iud so you can definitely get through it um but we roll up I show up he's like okay take your shirt off I'm like vibes let's go and now my piercer kind of fucked up um one of my nipples because when you pierce them like my nipples weren't super duper hard and I think it was because he just didn't want to like over touch me which is fine I probably

should have just like gotten them a little harder myself but when your nipples are soft versus when they get hard when they get hard they kind of get point up right and they twist a little bit so when he pierced my first nipple um it was soft and then once he pierced it it got hard and I realized it was a little crooked now it's not super crooked but it's enough that I notice it and it kind of makes me frustrated because like come on dude it's your job they're supposed to be straight um and so yeah just pay attention to making sure they're straight check have them like um draw it out on you before they pierce you so you can check it out in a mirror make sure you like it make sure it looks symmetrical on your titties how you enjoy it not how somebody else

thinks it looks um that's like rule number one just make sure it looks good on you which when i got my nose pierced i loved it because they gave me a mirror they let me they redrew it a few times made sure it was good make sure it was a place i wanted it love that now the first one i will tell you this the first one did not hurt at all at all it did not hurt let me hit this bowl um it didn't hurt because my adrenaline was so so high that i basically covered most of the pain um now as soon as that first needle went through my nipple i was i didn't i my adrenaline wore off I was like whew okay my body like started to chill out what I wasn't prepared for was the second fucking piercing that shit hurt and that was the only one that was straight yeah it was

like damn that shit hurts so bad um it's definitely like a bone chilling chair gripping kind of pain but I do have to say the pain stops after a while now when I first got my nipples pierced they were not sensitive um like bitches were fucking coming from getting their nipples touched and i was like no i touched my nipples and i may be like annoyed like i barely feel it you know what i mean and i definitely realized directly after getting them pierced um super sensitive and not in the sensitive like they hurt sensitive um like they didn't start hurting until a day or two days after tbh but that first day they were so sensitive like i was gonna come sensitive i'm not even gonna lie and being the crazy stupid bitch i am we went out that night drinking and it's like frat party vibes

and i ended up at a frat party and i ended up talking to this guy that i've been talking to for a little bit while at school and um ended up back at his dorm with him sucking on my freshly pierced titties and now do parents if i have already told you not to listen to this podcast so i'm so sorry if you're listening now but anyways i don't know who this man was or what his name was i feel really bad but um yeah he was sucking on my titties he never got to fuck me not a lot of men have which is the the only thing i can really say but um yeah and it felt incredible and then i was like you gotta leave I'm the worst I was like you gotta leave and then I think I went back out to the frats and kept partying anyways I do remember that happening and then afterwards they

started to hurt they started to hurt I don't know what the self or the uh the care routine was they gave me it was just so long ago but the one thing I do remember about the healing process is now the pain eventually stops you know like after a week you're chilling the only thing you really have to deal with is they're super sensitive and I was the kind of person who hated wearing a bra so um I honestly started wearing a bra again just for comfortability after I got them pierced because my nipples would rub against my shirt and they would be so sensitive that I would be like oh like how it was like a little too sensitive like so I started wearing a bra again um just so i could have like a little protection kind of thing i'm sure nipple covers would do the same

thing just make sure they're clean um they were just like really really sensitive and now the sensitivity has died down like what is it i'm like three years later and they're still very sensitive like way sensitive way more sensitive than they were when i first got them or when they weren't pierced but not as sensitive as when i first got them pierced does that make sense um now i had uh this is sound gross but i had discharge out of my nipples for a good year i know as crazy as that sounds the healing process on nipples is so long now i don't think they were infected because i went to a doctor and they were like no they don't look they aren't infected this is just like a natural process of your body just kind of like thinks there's something wrong going

on so it's gonna do the things to make it right but you just have to let it keep going until like the scar tissue builds up or not scar tissue but the tissue in general you have to wait for it to not be an open wound you know what I mean and um you know a towel would actually get pulled on it or something would catch it and you know it reopens that wound and it's kind of hard to deal with but after about what is it i say i needed a whole year for the wound to actually completely heal and then another year for the crusties to stop yeah the crusties i know like i would be like so concerned that there were just like crusties on my nipples and then i'd be concerned like like a guy be sucking on them and then he'd get like a crusty in his mouth like could you imagine

oh my god but um you know what if he's sucking on a titty he better accept his fate tbh um but yeah after another year the the crusty stopped and now they're perfectly fine they are perfect i they don't get infected if they get pulled on something they don't like the wound doesn't open again like this the tissue is nice and thick and healed um they're sensitive but not too sensitive and other than one being just slightly crooked i'm very very happy especially as a girly who's part of the small titty itty bitty committee um i've had small titties my entire life and they were something i was um more so insecure about in like high school after i got them pierced oh insecurity kind of went away because it just added something like a little extra oomph

that I wanted I just didn't know how to do and I didn't want to alter my boobs in any way that was too crazy like a boob job so adding like a little jewelry is so fun so fun and I want to get some new jewelry as well it's fun to switch up the jewelry for a while I had just gold um bars since all of my jewelry is gold I had just gold um just plain bars gold is usually the go-to but my boyfriend's gotten me some um like flower ones you can get oh you can get anything you can get anything all right um but yeah that's really all i've gotten pierced other than my ears and my nose um i'm like a pussy when it comes to piercings tattoos not so much piercings yeah and so the fact that i even got my nipples pierced is kind of insane i was just in like a new cycle of life

and i was like i need to do something crazy and i need to reinvent myself in some sort of way so getting my nipples pierced was probably the best way i could have gone about it you know like it didn't really cause too much damage um but yeah i still have them to this day i plan on keeping them forever i remember telling my mom like one day i'm gonna get my nipples pierced one day i'm gonna get my nipples pierced one day i'm gonna get my nipples pierced i said it over and over and over again she's like no no you're not no you're not and then i came home from college one day and i was like i got my nipples here so she was just like she's definitely disappointed but i was like a bitch i was warning you about this why are you shocked or upset i was warning you of course it's

gonna happen but yeah i think it definitely made my confidence go up i feel like a bad bitch um it's like a little i love accessorizing too and so it's like another little accessory so fun um if you are interested i say go for it the pain is probably like my iud was a 10 out of 10 my ears wore a 2 out of 10 my nipples are probably like a five and a half okay if that gives you any sort of scale of reference of how much they hurt um literally compared to my iud it's not at all also it's been a little bit so the pain scale is pretty low the the most painful part really is just the healing if you can put up with healing for a long time you'll be perfectly fine love it love nipple piercings okay valid question how the fuck are you supposed to ride

sex vibes okay i'm gonna blast you some questions we gotta end this podcast um even though i want to sit here with you guys for hours i gotta get it out too so um tips for riding okay you can ride while like leaning down kissing their neck kissing their ear and staying on your knees okay you can also put your hands straight up directly on their chest stay on your knees um and then kind of use your arms this is great kind of use your arms to squish together your boobs so they look crazy good and they're just all up in his face okay um that's with your hands on his chest okay then also you can put your hands in his hands you guys are like holding hands right now he's gonna have to hold his hands like kind of up a little bit you're gonna use him as support and then you're gonna

be on your feet okay and you're just gonna throw it back on your feet okay um it's a little harder on when you're on your feet because you're gonna get tired really really quickly so i like to kind of like like i said start down low kissing his neck move up hands on chest then you move up to your feet right then if you want to get crazy your legs are getting a little tired you need a little break switch into reverse cowgirl okay go back down on your knees push your hands down his thighs down his legs all the way to his ankles grab his ankles and then you can just throw it back from there and by then he's probably gonna have came because like it's all ass at that point you're only seeing ass and like there's nothing hotter you know what i mean um now if the job's not done

you can throw ass that way you can move back up to your feet on reverse cowgirl bounce like that um in reverse cowgirl you can also lean back a little bit put your hands on his chest um switch back into regular um what what would it be called regular oh yeah i guess just writing um but yeah any of that also like make sure you come first and the way you make him come is not gonna be the way you make yourself come does that make sense like i feel like to make myself come on top you have to grind a little bit you gotta like hit the spots right on the inside okay um if you kind of grind while on your feet you can have your legs spread a little bit then he can like rub your clit or use a vibrator on you um and then you can like put your hands on his chest

and also bounce a little bit from there um now so yeah grinding make yourself come first before you make him come you because like listen if you're gonna rely on a man to make you come like yes you should but it also should be happening asap okay get taken care of first and then you can put on work on him all right so it's gonna be different though like to make him come you're probably gonna be bouncing a little bit more um to make yourself come you usually have to grind a little bit more hit those inside spots right you know what i mean ladies oh my god somebody asked me what my first time hitting a bong was like and i genuinely am trying to think back and i'm not sure when it was bongs were a rare commodity through high school okay like high schoolers now so first of all i

gotta say a psa just legally do not do anything if you're under the age of 21 okay but like from what i've heard high schoolers now they're taking like dabs and they're hitting dab pens and i was talking to my boyfriend he was like yeah i was doing dabs in high school and tbh that is fucking insane like i'm not even gonna lie to you that's insane like you should save that until you're out of high school at least 21 at least dabs and dab pens because that concentration and that high is so different than if you're just smoking some green some weed okay you should have to go through the growing pains of what it's like to smoke you should be scared you should be a little scared to go outside and smoke some green okay you should be scared of the repercussions

from your parents you should like having it so easily readily available to you like if i had a dab cart in high school oh bitch i would be 10 times worse than i am right now that shit is so easy to hit and hide okay um and now i think there were dab carts were they super available no that's why i never smoked them the thing that was most available to me was weed and the fact that i had to crawl onto my roof to smoke a little bowl of green really kind of had me have a semi-good relationship with drugs and how to um like i say ration myself and also it didn't fucking fry my brain in high school so if you're smoking dab carts stick to the green stick to the green but now the i think i hit a gb before i hit a bong actually yes the first time i ever smoked

i hit a gb the first time i ever hit a bong i think oh my god where was i because none of my friends had bongs that's the thing once again it was super hard to come across these things like the most we had was a pipe all right like that's about it to have like a rig and a torch in high school that's crazy where the fuck am i gonna find that you know what i mean i don't have a fake ids to get into a smoke shop to buy shit the best the best thing that we could do was like we drive out to a smoke shop in lawrence and hope we wouldn't get caught uh carded and we just buy a little pipe so we could fucking smoke green you know what i mean and so um i genuinely don't think i hit a bong until like senior year i was doing gbs because they were easier to make um you could

just home supplies okay or bowls that's about it or blunts lots of blunts lots of joints anything like that um and i think realizations have occurred okay so i definitely hit a bong first time ever when i first ever hung out with like my second boyfriend and it was at a party he was throwing a party or something and i'm pretty sure we were just sitting in his room smoking a bong and i remember greening out that night in the best possible way greening out meaning like i just got really fucking high but i was around my friends so it was kind of fun um and i ended up with my besties at steak and shake like taking selfies in the mirror i definitely remember seeing snapchat memories from that um i think that was the first time i ever hit a bong though i don't think it

was like crazy crazy i think i definitely was choking for sure we always are if you're not choking you're not smoking straight up people are like but i gotta smoke pretty i'm like no i gotta give the little warning every time i smoke with people that like if i'm taking a dab i might die in front of you and that's okay you're just gonna have to let me all right you're gonna have to let me suffer and choke and die i'll be good i promise you just gotta give me my time because there is no way to do that shit pretty my boyfriend hits a dab now he's been doing this for years but he hits a dab and then just like looks at me and i literally am there like choking and coughing for a good five minutes but anyways i own it you gotta own it for real and with that

let's take let's take one more bowl i'm debating on if i want to go to pottery tonight or not oh it's just so snowy out and i don't want to get outside like i just don't want to drive that far and go in the snow i just hate the snow i hate being cold i need to move somewhere it's warm 24 7 i have like a bunch of people that i'm mutuals with who live in california and not they're always fucking having a blast having a blast oh my god and i think i need to move there not in the um i need to like move there and get famous kind of way in the i need sunshine and an average temperature of 65 degrees to say men to stay mentally sane um a kind of way tbh i'd probably move to like the valley i don't think i'd even move to la i'd probably move to um i don't know

like outside of la somewhere where i have like a little bit of space i don't know a little bit away from the chaos i'd be like if i'm not even from la so i don't know a whole lot about it tbh i'd be like i'd move to malibu but i do not have money for that nor does a majority of the u.s population um but i went there and it was goddamn beautiful i really just do need constant sunshine in my life the winter is nice so reminds me to be thankful for the summer thankful for the spring thankful for the opportunities i do have but really i am truly in my heart a warm weather bitch anyways we are gonna smoke a little green trying to get this bowl packed um smoke a little green i'm getting my nails redone soon um oh my god my last my last nails were so good if you

didn't see them on my instagram go give them a look but they were giving like it was giving maddie love it my nail artist really popped the fuck off it was for sure a two hour maybe three hour appointment but he did his goddamn best i am not even lying okay let me hit this bowl thank you for joining me today sorry if today was a little bit all over the place um i do like to answer questions that kind of pop up a lot though because i feel like that's what's on your mind at the time and i like to i don't know kind of stay true with what's going on right now um if you're having any anxieties about the state of the world just understand the what you can control is really all you need to focus on um do what you can with your life make your life

a great life and do what honestly is best for you i love you all so much once again i will see you Tuesday for another episode um we'll probably I don't know what we'll talk about every single episode is so fucking random and I kind of love it I love that there's like no honest theme for any of them I'm just like what is the vibe and then I put that in the title as you can see the production quality is not the greatest but I'm if you go to my Instagram at Hannah Marlene I will put up a questionnaire this weekend on Tuesday I'll fill you in with what's going on in my life um give you a little life update and then um answer all of your most dire fucking questions and i'm so excited it's literally my favorite thing um like every week to do i can't believe

i get a sit down now here's the thing i don't make like any money from this i simply do this just because like i don't know it makes me feel good it makes me feel creative and i love the um kind of response i've been getting from you guys it's incredible like being able to reach you guys is mind-blowing and being able to sit down and do this every week is a dream come true so thank you so much for joining me once again all questions even if you're like in the middle of the night and you're like i can't fucking i'm not gonna remember this once you post this questionnaire send it to me dm me i will answer them i've been collecting some longer ones so i think i'm gonna do a long um question um like episode maybe next week so stay tuned i love you

all so much um i hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend and i'll see you tuesday