Smoke Sesh - overworked, career change & birth control

Episode Date: February 25, 2025

hello hotties and welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh! hopefully things are warming up where you are as we approach the spring season of our lives, lets dive into everything on your minds including getting sick, being overworked, birth control journey and my IUD experience, side hustles and depop, go to beginner plants, having an inside bf while being an outside gf, opposites attract, nostalgia and letting it inspire your life, what to do if he's too big, budgeting bad habits, 50/20/30 rule, personal growth goals this upcoming march and not being afraid to challenge yourself, going to Japan! men stringing you along, how to know if they're the one, creating discipline in your life, shame from parents, lustfullness and untrustworthiness, career change, astrology updates for February as we enter march, dating apps or meeting in real life, advice for being 18/19, boyfriend calling you bad names, cat parent anxiety plus much much much more! if you want to see more from me join the patreon patreon.com/smokeseshshawty and we will chat soon! MUAH!

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. At Desjardins Insurance, we put the care in taking care of business. Your business to be exact. Our agents take the time to understand your company so you get the right coverage at the right price. Whether you rent out your building, represent a condo corporation, or own a cleaning company, we make insurance easy to understand so you can focus on the big stuff. Like your small business.

Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Desjardins.com slash business coverage. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all oh wow hello hotties and welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host i'm so excited to be back this week with you all how the hell are we all doing are

we hanging in there are we doing the best we can last week um it was like pre-snowstorm and then all of a sudden we just got slammed about 10 inches of snow now it's 50 degrees outside all the snow is gone the whiplash that i am receiving right now is insane but i did go outside yesterday to 50 degree weather and it felt like i popped molly which was like amazing for my brain genuinely i'm like i need to get outside more i need to be active i need to be taking advantage of this good weather especially after being inside for so long it's like oh my god who knows if another snow storm is coming like might as well enjoy it while it lasts but I hope you're all doing well I don't have a lot to catch you guys up on um I got a little sick

this past weekend I don't really know what with it was so odd I mean I've had every illness under the sun so I can usually pinpoint like what is going on with my body like COVID I've had it a few times so when covid hits i usually know like the symptoms and the signs but the flu i mean like all of you many a times but i don't know if this is just like a really bad cold or what i was supposed to actually go to omaha this weekend to visit family my niece my nephew my brother my sister-in-law and just travel with my parents um see all the kiddos and spend some time with them but I worked a Friday shift which Friday shift was a shit show in itself my restaurant has basically doubled in size but our staff has not doubled in size and someone called out so it was

me and another girl running the entire restaurant and my god I usually like I'm at the point in my serving era where I feel like I'm in like almost to my retiree phase so it takes a lot for me to really get overwhelmed in the serving industry it takes a lot for me to like kind of get like lost in my thoughts or lost in the process uh but friday friday was definitely a shit show i was like listen if you get some bad reviews tonight like i genuinely was doing the best i can i genuinely was just like attempting to stay afloat okay like so sorry mr manager but like you deal with those yelp reviews i'm gonna stay sane um and simply just try and power through but my god it was so incredibly awful so incredibly awful and my restaurant's a busy restaurant but

this was just it was next level it was oh like i'm thinking i'm thinking back to that friday shift like i'm having war flashbacks genuinely i was walking up to tables and being like i am so sorry my favorite excuse not even excuse like if you work in the restaurant industry be honest with people like if shit's taking a long time in the kitchen tell them like why i'll be like literally sorry half the people called out we're doing the best we can people just like to know what's going on it's when you're sitting there waiting for like 30 minutes and you don't know what's happening that people start to get pissed off so i'm a big truth teller especially in my serving style so every table i walked up to i'm like listen we're so sorry it seems a little busy you know we are

just really short-staffed I highly highly apologize buying every table like free dessert like listen please just don't take it personally come back another day where we're fully staffed but made it through that my god but by the end of the shift I could feel like that illness fully infiltrate my brain and my body I was walking around as if I was just numb I have not felt numb in a long time but my whole body just felt like radio static and so did my brain and i made it home at like 2 a.m and it was just like my parents were gonna be there to pick me up at 7 a.m it was not gonna work it was not gonna work i called my mom that morning i like didn't sleep at all that night because a my neighbor downstairs is literally smoking so many cigarettes constantly

girl is this the fucking 60s what is happening if you don't see this background soon it's because i probably will be moving very soon i cannot deal with it anymore so it was the cigarette smoke accompanied by this extreme exhaustion but also like my triggered fight or flight brain from work accompanied by body chills and aches from a fever like girl i was fighting demons that i have never face before that night and I called my mom that morning and I was like it's not happening it's so sorry love you it's not happening I just can't do it I can't make it like I need a full day to completely rest and recover so I was out of it pretty much all weekend just not feeling the best trying to rest do the best I can um and here we are today oh Monday well Tuesday when you're

listening to this but things are looking up a little bit i feel like i've fully come back into myself i'm feeling you know fully rested and recovered and excited to kind of celebrate the day with you all today but please wash your hands eat your vitamin c make sure you are drinking enough water i don't know what the fuck i caught but you guys do not want it you do not want it trust me on that also oh the universe is looking out for me praise god amen i all of a sudden feel religious but at the beginning of that crazy shift i got a call and there is this like specialty cat clinic in kansas city that i sent like i genuinely am like a helicopter mom at this point like my poor little kitty cat he's doing fine right now he seems okay um he seems to be healing well but

like these fucking anal gland issues i'm like i mean the last time it was like one month after so right now we're kind of nearing the one month point and i'm really just like keeping my fingers crossed and trying to play with him enough trying to make sure he's eating enough getting hydrated enough if i could take on the pain of my cat and like take on his ailments i physically would like i'm trying to think about the most painful thing i've ever gone through my iud experience i would get 10 iuds if it meant that he didn't have to go through this anymore genuinely i'm like i would rather experience this pain than this poor little poor little baby who just deserves to live an amazing comfortable happy life like oh this poor guy so anyways i sent this cat clinic like a

not a panicked but a hey i'm desperate reaching out email like my poor boy is dealing with these anal gland issues the vet i'm seeing is wonderful but i feel like we go there they're like great he's doing great and then we leave and then we have to come back again like it's the same thing because we're really not getting to the issue they seem to have only experienced this with dogs they don't really have like have experienced this with cats like please I would love to see a specialist they were not accepting new clients I got on their wait list two months ago but they were like yeah we'll probably start accepting new clients in a year so I was like fuck it fuck it let me just send an email listen if you ask for something people are most likely going to say yes

you just have to be brave enough to ask for it and I learned that very quickly in my early 20s where it's like what what's the worst they're gonna say no cool well I already assumed it was gonna be no so why not ask and see what's really going on so I sent an email like hey my poor little baby he's having butt problems like that's literally no fun um is there any way you can maybe sneak us in and as this shift is getting so fucking crazy busy I hear my phone buzz and I'm kind of like busy doing something and then like I usually don't check my phone when I'm super busy on the floor but for some reason I was like okay well let me just pull it out and check because you know I did get a like multiple buzzes and it was this clinic calling me back and thank god for

apple because it translates the voicemails for you so i read it and it was like we are only open for 10 more minutes but if you are able to call us back we might have some cancellations that we can work out for you i walked over my manager i said i have an emergency i stepped out back asap and thank god for them they're able to get us in in like two weeks so please keep danger in your hopes and your prayers and your well wishes genuinely he is such a sweet little baby boy and i just don't want him to be in any more pain so hopefully he is okay until then we can get in with that doctor and then fully hopefully get this settled but my gosh like literally everybody's like i don't know girl that is not an answer that's not an answer i need an answer and i am

a crazy parent and i will get that answer so thank you to the universe for that i really appreciate that blessing that was something that I very very much so needed wow yeah that kicking off the shift I was like okay let's power through girl we got that handled let's get through this shift also speaking of IUDs I've been getting a lot of IUD questions lately also like IUD question from like my co-workers um one of them was like yeah I mean I'm on birth control but with the state of America like I would like to get something a little more permanent I would like to get something where like they're gonna have to cut it out of me and valid very valid so I figured like why not you guys have heard my IUD experience before but I feel like I'm further into my second round this time so

I can give more of a full well-rounded answer but like I said I am on my second IUD my first round I don't mean to fear monger it was awful I don't think you will have an experience like I did on my first round because like the first time i got my iud it was when they were like first kind of hitting the market again i mean iuds have been in and out of the market for quite some time i think since like the 70s but this the round that we're thinking now like the morena the copper the the basics that we have now when they first hit the market that's when i got mine it was back in like 2018 I went to Planned Parenthood which shout out fantastic my problem was I got in there and they were like I was in nursing school and they were like oh um there's a student doctor here like

they've never seen an IUD placement before is there any way you would be willing to you know have them just view the procedure and me being a nursing student I'm like listen I'm gonna be in their position sometime and you know if it's something that I need to watch then yeah sure like i totally get it let's get your education and babe like bring them in here fuck it anyways let's not do that let you you can say no to that and actually when it comes to your iud i highly encourage saying no to it because when i tell you what they went 10 times slower so they could explain each step along the way you don't want that with an iud you don't want that with an iud you want them in and out in in 0.2 seconds you don't want to be on that table for like minutes

having them slowly insert this thing into you I'm getting lightheaded thinking about it so that was kind of kind of my fault also the funny little thing about being a woman and going to the doctor is they are not going to advocate for pain management for you they're not I don't know what it is with modern medicine thinking that women can just handle anything without any sort of pain medication girl like we're human too I do have nerve endings down there I do need pain medication your doctors are usually not going to advocate for pain medication unless you ask for it so the second round after having my horrible horrible first time insertion which to be fair after that insertion I had a very easy time my first one was three years so three years later

I was like oh shit okay I guess it's time for another one um and I mean even after that bad insertion I had no problems no complications those three years after um and then I was even though I went through something like traumatic like that was very traumatic um it it genuinely is such an easy birth control and I mean I'm the kind of girl who it's like ADHD to the dome like really bad. I cannot focus on anything. I can't take a pill at the same time. I am extremely sensitive to hormones. I think being on the pill made me very suicidal, very just like manic, horrible, awful mood swings, really not good. It's very located hormones. So I felt like it wasn't fully affecting me in a negative way. I had really heavy periods and it made my periods

much much lighter it was kind of a godsend for me in my period like when I'm telling you I would have cramps so bad I would throw up and also I would have to use a super plus tampon every single 30 minutes and this brought me down to maybe having like spotting for three days wow life changed so when three years was over I was like all right it's time it's time to get another one it's time this time I did not go to Planned Parenthood I went to a women's specialty clinic I went to specifically an OBGYN um and it was only women working there which love okay for comfortability purposes like I don't want to see a man I don't want to see a man I don't want to see a man especially when it comes to my women's health like just give me the women I'm sorry yes

I will be sexist in this moment like that's just me it's my comfortability I don't give a fuck so I found a women's specialty clinic and I saw them and I was really honest about like my fear and my trauma and also like pain management like I need those good pillies I need you to use like local anesthetic if you can like whatever you can legally give me girl I need that because the two ibuprofen that you tell me to take before is not going to cut it so she heard me she you know supported me she understood me also if you have a boyfriend and you are getting an iud bring them with bring bring them with i made my boyfriend sit right next to me look inside my hoo-ha while they did this i said if you are going to be reaping the benefits and i have to go through this

you have to be there next to me you have to take care of me the whole next week like you gotta watch this happen you gotta experience this alongside me there is no going along with life you know thinking oh you know my girl just got an IUD whatever no nope you're experiencing this with me bitch sit down put on some scrubs look up in there all right so unfortunately I did not get a pill like a pain pill but what really did genuinely help was they were able to put like a spray a local anesthetic spray they were like we have a shot or we have a spray no shots are going in my cervix there's not going to be a needle put in my cervix that's not happening all right i am a strong independent woman but not like that so i've opted for the spray and

genuinely I think most of the discomfort comes from having to hold your cervix in place because they have to place it and the local anesthetic spray made it so when they had to like kind of you know position my cervix in the right direction I felt nothing so that was fantastic that accompanied with them changing my IUD not even kidding like you know when you see those race car drivers and they pull over to the pit stop and they change the tires and it's like whoa that whole team got that that tire changed in 0.4 seconds like in and out that man is back on the racetrack going that's what I felt like happened inside my body it was fantastic it was fantastic and that came from a me just doing research on where I was going be me advocating for myself

and my pain management and see really trusting my doctor talking to them making sure I trusted them you know learning about their um how many times they've done this she was like no like the nurse I do this with literally placed mine like in this same building like a girl I just lay down and the nurse just put it inside me she's like no we we me and the nurses like the doctors and the nurses they are locked in they have done this so many times so the fact that my doctor had one and the nurse knew how to do this and they've done it a million times I felt very comfortable and wow my second experience was chef's kiss fantastic but what's hilarious is i look over i'm like oh my god that was that was so much easier like oh my like you know that high you get after getting

your ears pierced or like i don't know any sort of piercing tattoo that's what it felt like and i look over my boyfriend he is ghost white ghost white about to pass out like bitch nothing even happened to you like don't even play right now like you cannot pass out nothing happened to you all you did was see this happen but like honestly they should be there you are going to be nutting in me raw for the next five years you might as well you know see the pain i'm going through but that was hilarious i was like bitch sit up there's no juice and crackers for you no but my second time around fantastic really great i got a different one i got the moreno which is five years actually i think it's it was five years but they kind of have realized that

it's more like eight so this iud is going to for a split second of pain slight cramping afterwards i highly recommend they have like sticky heating pads wearing one of those during your insertion and then just like changing them out periodically afterwards making sure you take the day off after you get your iud making sure you're not on your feet making sure you're comfortable cozy taking care of yourself after about that first day and that little bit of cramping that first day fantastic fantastic i will say after you first get it it does take your body at least six months for it to fully adjust for it to fully get kind of like comfortable for your body to get used to literally having a foreign object inside of it for the hormones to fully settle out so be patient

with it give it time but now that I'm what two years almost three years oh my god into this IUD fantastic fantastic same experience I had the first time amazing will never go back to any sort of other birth control you know not to be like you need this but if it's something you think about highly recommend doing so especially with the state of the world now and like just genuinely i think protecting yourself sexually is the most important thing to do um i love it i love it fantastic me and my iud are locked in it is me and her against the world truly truly but yeah so many girls are asking like iud experience so i figured i'd clock back in here and chit chat with you girls about it if you're thinking about it find a good doctor talk to them go over your

options there's so many more options than you could ever like think figure out what's best for you you know how do you react to hormones what kind of lifestyle do you live can you be on a schedule where you can take a pill every single day for me personally that was not going to happen i am a i am a place it and forget it kind of girl so this iud has been a god send for me truly if i didn't have it i'm sure i would have seven children by now so thank god thank god one last thing iuds are expensive but there are people who will pay for you like I said you know ask and you shall receive or like don't be afraid to ask what's the worst thing they're gonna say no um I didn't have insurance getting this back when I got my last IUD I did not have insurance and a eight-year

Mirena IUD I know this because I received the bill with the procedure with everything at least two grand okay you're like bitch i can't fucking afford that and i hear you i hear you that's what i told my doctor and she was like well there are groups pro-choice groups pro-women's health groups who have funds who pay for women to get these things so then they are protected you know like let's reach out to a couple of these like we the women's health center i went to they're like well we work pretty close with a few of them so you know we'll reach out to them on on your behalf and see if any of them will provide you a grant and literally a week later they're like congratulations um it's paid for oh yeah yeah so do some research you'll be surprised like which funds people have

donated to that will help pay for making your life better if you just search a little bit same thing with like scholarships it's like if they're giving you free money like apply to all of those when it comes to you know getting a medical bill taken care of i am going to be contacting everybody if i could not pay that two grand but uh love love my little morena iud me and her against the world truly i think she expires when i'm like 31 are you kidding me fantastic we love anyways enough about my pussy what's on your guys's mind let's see what questions you have for the week and let's get right into it oh one more side note um i'm purging my closet i realized i have too many clothes and i'm kind of a hoarder in the sense of like i'm a i'm like a sentimental hoarder

where it's like well maybe i'll wear that one day or maybe i want to pass that down to my child that's not happening that's not happening so i listed a bunch a bunch a bunch of things on depop i think like 42 items a couple of them have been sold but um everything on there right now i think is under 30 bucks under 35 my depop is smoke sesh shoddy but the shoddy has two y's you'll find me trust but if you want to shop my closet i uploaded a bunch on there and i will be doing so continuously uh like i said everything is very cheap i just have realized like i need to get it it needs to go to a good home right now it's just sitting in a dark closet and that's not what that piece of clothing deserves it deserves somebody who's gonna wear it and love it endlessly

so if you want to do some shopping visit me there holy shit we have so many questions this week we have like 1500 questions girls girl the girls are clocked in they are locked in maybe we'll do a little bit of a longer episode fuck it i am like three espresso shots deep i'm like let's get this let's get it going you know what i mean how many plants do you have and what are they what's your favorite so all these plants you see behind me they're pothos plants i really could not keep anything alive for the life of me until i started getting pothos plants and these bad boys are so easy to take care of they'll tell you when they need water their leaves just get like a little shriveled a little shrunken up when they need a good a good chug of water they grow super fast

these you can't see but they're literally trailing all along my floor i like all of these are at least 10 feet long they barely touched the floor when I first move in here so they've probably grown five feet in the past two years they're easy to propagate you literally just cut a hunk off and put it in water once it grows two roots you can plant it and it'll grow like wildfire that and then I started venturing into monsteras which you can kind of see my big boy monstera over here this was a gift from one of my old managers she got me a propagation and I finally planted it and once I planted it, it started going cuckoo bananas, and monsteras are a lot easier to take care of than I really ever thought. They're kind of like pothos in the same way of propagation. I

haven't tried propagating any, but the propagation I got, she was like, just leave it in water until it grows roots and then plant it. Easy peasy, and the monstera doesn't really tell you when it needs water. More so, I just water it once a week. I give it a good jug of water once a week, and it seems pretty happy other than that that's all the plants i have um i have a couple others that are like struggling i have like a pepper plant that i saved from my garden last year somehow it made it through the winter but if you want two really good beginner friendly plants pothos fantastic there's so many different variations you can get so many different colors you can get and then monsteras i would say they're pretty beginner friendly plants hello princess girl oh my god um

i've just smoked so this isn't gonna make much sense it'll be very um i don't know you're probably never even gonna see this anyway so it doesn't matter but i just wanted to say that you have literally changed my life and the way that i perceive the world and when you're in a very dark place it's so hard to be able to like focus on anything good and just like having you you are like a little amazing light and i just hope that you you know that you have changed people's lives for the better in so many ways and just being able to stand up for myself give myself boundaries other people boundaries being able to set boundaries full stop just listening to you and being such a positive energy just honestly has changed my life and i got your patreon and it

just you're just it's an essential you are an essential i love you you're the best i don't know if you're ever gonna hear this but if you do i just want you to know that yeah you're an inspiration amazing person beautiful human being and we all love you oh my fucking god i mean hey you are on the podcast but and not me like tearing up eyes leaking everywhere oh my god oh my god oh my god that like genuinely i did not have that like hearing this means so much not to me i mean yes to me now obviously but like most importantly this the person that it resonates the most with and really means the most to is the 15 16 17 year old me who could not see the light who didn't have hope who didn't have stability who didn't have people to look up to who didn't know it got better

and truly once I made it out of there all I wanted to do was just like tell people that there is hope and there is a second chance and you can be okay and I didn't know how to like get that message out for a long time until I kind of stumbled into this podcast and truly since I started like that has been my one fucking goal is just to like like let's have some fun let's realize life can be good if you're in a dark place like let's get out of it together like you are never ever ever alone so hearing these things is just like uh it makes my heart oh my god it just makes my heart so happy so thank you so much i did hear that and i do appreciate it thank you for being a patreon member i love you so much but wow genuinely like that means the world to me how to live a fulfilling

life when working four 12-hour shifts a week help so my boyfriend for about six months has been working six 12-hour shifts a week and then usually the seventh day is like five or six hours um occasionally he'll get a day off and now his schedule is a little bit um more solid where it's about five 12 hour shifts a week one eight hour shift and then he gets one day off and this was a really hard change i mean bitch that's a hard change for anybody that is i can't even count that like my brain can't even do that math that's too many hours too many hours that a human being should be working um and he really struggled at first because it was like he felt like he was missing out on so much he was just so exhausted he was so tired and then he kind of got fed up

he's like fuck it like i'm not gonna let the job get me down i'm not gonna let them like take over the time that i have to myself and he really started just making the most of the time that he did have so when he gets off his shift like he'll come home he'll shower he'll watch a little youtube video in the shower we'll have dinner together we'll watch one show and then he'll go play video games with his friends for like two three hours he gets his little social time in he gets his little girlfriend time in he gets his little personal time in not a lot of time but like by the time he's off his shift he just he gets the things he wants done goes to bed wakes up does his routine does the same thing now when it comes to having a day off if he does get one of

those he is taking full fucking advantage of that day off I'm talking he is running all over this city he is seeing everybody that he possibly can usually like we'll wake up if I have the day off we'll go get coffee together that's our little like date moment that or dinner and then he'll like go skate with his friends he'll go drive out see his family then we'll come back home we'll have lunch together maybe I want to do activities so he does that with me or he goes and he does glass blowing something artistic like he he's kind of like clocked in again but more so in a personal way and I think he would feel much more unfulfilled if he was just sitting around all day I mean occasionally he does that where he's just like I want a day where I do nothing and he'll kind of

spend the day cleaning the house taking care of personal stuff and then also like playing video games doing something that it's like relaxing calming not just like mindlessly scrolling something he does have fun indulging in and then also he's kind of engaging with friends in that same level as well um but he is taking full advantage of those days off and if you're coming home and kind of succumbing to work again in the way where it's like well i just want to do nothing i'm so unmotivated i'm just going to sit here and do nothing you're kind of letting that job take over your personal time as well so really utilize that free will and that personal time you do have make the most of it find a routine that feels relaxing and comfortable to you find

activities and hobbies that make you feel fulfilled in your personal life and I think that will really help you manage those long shifts and also feel a more feel like you're living a more complete and fulfilled life you know what I mean um but yeah he did like when he was first working this job it was just like i'm exhausted i'm doing nothing like and then he realized like wow i am letting this job take advantage of every single moment i have even when i'm not clocked in like i can't do that anymore i gotta just even if i don't have motivation i gotta find the motivation in me to just get out to accomplish those things that i want to accomplish to do those tasks to hang out with those friends um because bitch this is the day i get so take full advantage of it that's what

i would say being a good gf to a homebody bf as a party girl oh my boyfriend met me when i was like a major party girl and i think the key to having a good relationship when like somebody's more of like an inside cat and someone else is more of like an outside cat is like the inside cat can't shame the outside cat for being who they are like my boyfriend knew who i was when he met me and he fully accepted that and like sure maybe he doesn't want to go out and do drugs and party with friends for 12 hours which is what I was doing when I first met him not anymore my brain can't handle that oh but he'd be like you know what go out have fun you do your thing there's like multiple times where I was like I need to go to a rave I just need to go party I need to have a good time he's

like you know what babe you go do that you go have a good time I'm gonna be here when you get off like just come back you know as long as you end up back in this bed i'm happy so it was more so like it works out you just gotta be not afraid to you can't let your relationship control you you can't take on other people's personalities or you can't hinder your personality because someone else is different the same way like um your partner needs to uplift and support your personality even if it is different as well i see too many like outgoing social girls kind of date these insecure inside men and the men kind of want to trap them they want to trap them inside I've been this girl this is how I know this but they want to trap them inside they want to hide

them from the world no you can't go do that or if you they won't say you can't do something but it's like if you want to go do something out they'll just throw a fit cause a fight so then you're so emotionally turmoiled you won't go out like it's a cycle it's a trap so as long as your boyfriend is supporting you in these endeavors and kind of just like you know what go out have fun like keep me updated just be safe and you know end up back at home and we have no problem I think that's how you know you make that situation really work and I honestly think the relationships where it's like someone's more of a party person and someone's more of an inside person as long as both individuals are healed that is the perfect relationship the only reason

I stopped doing hard drugs is because I realized like honestly I have way more fun just hanging out with my boyfriend at home and I don't need to go out and do all these things for fulfillment anymore like truly kind of humbled me in that way and also like I was able to bring him out of his shell a little bit more he wasn't like a sure let's go to a bar kind of guy but then he met me and it's like well fuck it it's Friday night we have nothing else to do like let's go to a bar and that kind of brought him out of his shell as well so it really kind of equalized or like neutralized us in that sort of sense where we were able to bring out really healthy sides of each other and i think it's like the perfect relationship dynamic as long as both are healed

like i said if you have a man that is trying to control you emotionally or like hinder you from being yourself in any sort of way not good not good hey babes this is my first call in but my question is how do i not let nostalgia consume me like i'm nostalgic about every single moment I've ever lived in my entire life um and I don't really know how to stop that I just kind of lay in my bed and think about all of my experiences and miss all of them at the same time which is a good thing but it also does kind of consume my brain so any advice would be very much appreciated love you queen uh I love nostalgia I'm such a nostalgia baby I I live for it I think it's a powerful tool um i think it's important to have to be able to like look back on your life and

appreciate it for what it is but i also think it's important to like appreciate the moment you're in and when it comes to nostalgia like you know how you're like i i low-key like love laying in bed and thinking back on the past and how good it was the only reason those moments were as good as they were is because you took full advantage of those moments and lived your life fully in those moments so nostalgia can consume and really place you in this sense of like stagnancy because it makes you live almost in a different era where you should be living now but the best way to continue that nostalgia which I love nostalgia in this the aspect of how you're kind of living it where it's like oh I miss those moments that was so good which I think you should feel for life I think

nostalgia is important I mean all my tattoos are about nostalgia but the best way to like keep having those moments throughout life is to live your life fully right here right now look back in fondness yes don't live in the past experience the now appreciate it now because before you know it it's going to be gone and it's just going to be another one of those nostalgic thoughts but like i said in order to kind of keep experience those ah wonderful like looking back on the past moments you have to live now fully help my boyfriend's dick is actually huge tips for handling it confidently oh well i hope not like painfully huge here's the thing you know each dick you gotta find the right one for you it's like it's like cinderella's slipper like does the

slipper fit you know and if it doesn't fit and it's just painful it might not be that fun it might not be that fun my best tip here is if he is well endowed just make sure you are doing enough foreplay because naturally how the human body works is or at least you know the vagina how it works is when you get hornier you obviously get wetter duh and also like your body starts naturally making more room to fit that inside of you because it's kind of like preparing for that action um it's preparing to receive you know what i mean so as long as you are fully like turned on erect but in the female way you know what i mean then i think you will have a much easier time being on top is not going to be the best option for you I find sometimes oddly enough

doggy style is easier um like sometimes I mean throughout your cycle my at least for me personally your my uterus kind of moves positions um and when it's in a position where I feel like the canal is a little bit smaller than it is natural like usually um doggy style is usually the style where i'm like okay there's no no pain you know we can fit it in we can we can do the best we can here um missionary is also great because you can kind of control a little bit more but on top is gonna be rough because it's like i mean you can control definitely a little bit more but i mean that's just a lot it's a lot a lot to take you know so make sure you are fully ready to receive and switch positions try them all out feel out what feels best for you take it slow

but yeah my best tip here is just make sure you are fully fully ready make sure he is taking care of you before you take care of him tips for budgeting while still smoking i love weed but feel irresponsible buying it hmm I mean if you're spending like way too much fucking money on it then I can see how that's gonna be a problem but I think if you budget like your weed usage the same way you would budget I mean your grocery hauls then I think you can make it work obviously you'll have to give up like some sort of budget somewhere to make room for that weed budget but you know if you really think about your usage i mean you shouldn't be smoking like a grand a month honestly you shouldn't even be smoking like a couple hundred dollars a month i think that's

personally not a lifestyle that like is sustainable i if i really think about it a month i probably smoke like and i mean i get deals so it is what it is i probably smoke like 30 a month and i'm smoking pretty often make sure you hunt for those deals the same way you hunt for like grocery deals clothing deals make sure you hunt for weed deals all right um if your smoking is out of control and it's costing you hundreds upon thousands of dollars that's something you do need to get in check um there's no reason your drug usage should cost you that much the same way i would say the same thing about alcohol like if you're spending 400 500 a month on alcohol that's considered a problem in my opinion but you know if you budget if you buy in bulk so you can kind of pay it

forward the next month you know you're saving you're using those coupons those discounts then do what you gotta do you know and i think it's okay um but yeah i i think um really be honest with yourself about how much you need to smoke how much is feasible what is really healthy for you how much that probably costs you a month and then try and work it out with your normal budget recently i learned about the 50 20 30 rule when it comes to budgeting and that has completely changed how i have been budgeting my monthly expenses so 50 of it is supposed to go to like rent utilities health insurance anything that's like a necessary reoccurring payment car payments phone bills anything like that 50 of your income a month is supposed to go to that

20 is supposed to go to savings which in my opinion as a girl who likes to save i feel like that's not enough but it seems to be working so 20 minimum goes to savings and then 30 goes to like groceries necessities of your daily life going out to eat maybe if you have like a little bit of a shopping budget whatever it is that you spend in your daily life outside of bills that goes that's 30 of your income so your weed usage would be in that 30 of income but the 50 20 30 rule whoa that really changed a lot of things for me and if you just google the 50 20 30 rule let me find the website for you actually nerd wallet has a really good calculator um i use that pretty often specifically to check my credit score and then also specifically i was using the

it's called opers.org o-p-e-r-s.org 50 20 30 rule they have a calculator that was really helpful on kind of like figuring out where most of my expenses were going re-budgeting um and kind of following that rule a little bit better so that is hannah's financial tip of the day for you i have been learning so much about finances this year 2025 is very much so the year of like get your shit together get it together you've been riding you've been coasting it's been really nice to be honest but like we need to find a home without cigarette smoke we need to find a home a home with a driveway in a backyard we need to find you know better ways of spending and saving we got to take care those finances be aware of them cancel those subscriptions something I did that was very big

I canceled my Amazon subscription this March I will not be buying anything from Amazon at all if I can't leave my house and go shopping for it I will not be purchasing something I've realized recently is that like side quests are really underrated and the reason I feel like I'm not living a fulfilling life is because I'm not outside and I do think this is a little bit of like lockdown brain I got so comfortable being inside I got so comfortable with myself here where I am and a little bit of like a social anxiety about going outside and then I realized oh my god I am just you know continuing that social anxiety by not going outside by having everything shipped directly to my front doorstep groceries to my front doorstep amazon to my front

doorstep anything i needed like only leaving the house for work that's about it um wow my world feels so small let's cancel that amazon subscription let's force ourself outside of the house let's stop supporting billionaires who literally want to break the world in half and does not care if give a fuck about us like oh i just i can't i can't do it anymore side quests are so underrated somebody like going and getting groceries sure anxiety i am using every single one of my dbt and coping mechanism skills just to get to the grocery store by the time i get home i feel like i've gone a little adventure okay say i need a new book okay well i'm gonna go to barnes and noble i'm gonna go experience barnes and noble i'm gonna go hunt down that book i'm gonna go

talk to that cashier i'm gonna go talk to the little old lady who's also looking for the same book experience life experience community I feel like that is so underrated and I think mostly like I live in a big city but it's not like a walkable city um which is why I feel like I don't experience that as much um I'm sure if you live in like New York and LA you're out of the house a little bit more um but here I feel like I'm kind of having to I want to force myself into it I really 2026 like I said oh whoa 2025 like I said hello girl let's not jump ahead um is all about like upgrading figuring your shit out being more of an adult for me personally that'll come naturally once you hit your mid-20s don't rush it like you will get there naturally if you feel

like you're not there don't worry um it's you got to take it one step at a time it's all a learning process a big thing with that learning process is just like challenging yourself you know um can you do it you can but like can you see it through do you want to do better do you want to achieve these things um so I'm kind of forcing myself into some new challenges to kind of um help that growth happen so one of those challenges financially we are canceling all subscriptions I canceled all my subscriptions I have my subscriptions such as like what I'm putting into my finances those are important subscriptions um and subscriptions like utilities and uh rent you can consider that a subscription monthly reoccurring payment but like subscribing to an app we can't be doing that

anymore we can't be doing that anymore nope subscribing to amazon for what for what it's not worth it in my opinion so i'm cutting all those out of my life because i mean i probably have at least 200 of reoccurring payments that could be going into savings like not worth it let's force myself out of the house a little bit more um and then also beginning in march i'm starting the artist's way uh i'll be taking you along with me as we kind of navigate through it um i will be doing more of a deep in-depth dive on my patreon so if you want to maybe follow with me with the artist's way or kind of see my experience join me on patreon patreon.com slash smoke slash shawty but also i'll keep you guys updated here um i think it's like a 12 month

course where i mean you are really just challenging yourself as an artist challenging yourself as an individual challenging your ego really challenging your creative ability and your ability to kind of thrive in that creative creator mindset it's something that I think I need I think it would be really good for me I think it'll bring in a lot of blessings a lot of understandings about myself more confidence less ego it's important so if you like to join come join but challenges challenges is the only way to grow and if you aren't facing enough if you're not facing enough challenges which i'm sure we all are but like if you are specifically wanting to grow in certain ways that involve like individuality and your relation to

self you do kind of have to implement those challenges yourself um there's so much you can learn from the world but also like how do you want to grow where do you want to grow ask yourself those things and you know force yourself outside of the box a little bit i think it's important um speaking of finances you guys big exciting news i bought tickets to japan i did i did i pulled the plug we were like it's the one thing that i wanted to do this year it was the one thing i was like sure national parks sound fantastic sure birthday trip sounds fantastic but nothing was really calling to me like japan was and hopefully by november they figure out the whole plane situation i'm not flying anytime soon but i'll be going to japan in november for

about a week i get anything longer than a week i get really homesick and like i don't want to leave my cat for that long so i'm going for a week if you've been to japan have any tips let me know but that was my one big purchase we got round trip tickets if you're thinking about it we got round trip tickets for like 700 are you kidding me that's how much it would cost to fly anywhere in the U.S. right now for round trip so round trip tickets $700 to Japan where everything's also cheaper yeah yep we had to purchase we're going for my boyfriend's birthday too he hasn't traveled anywhere for his birthday I think ever so I was like fuck my birthday like love you babe November will be perfect for Japan like let's go so that was my one big spend this year it'll be my one

big like personal challenge as well because I've only ever traveled outside of the U.S. to Mexico so this will be really fun it'll be a really good self-challenge um and yes i'm very excited ah but if you have tips and tricks let me know hey hannah love the pod so much i just wanted to come on here and ask your advice for a situation with my ex basically we've been split up for a month now he broke up with me but during this time he's been randomly messaging me like small talk like we lived off on really good terms you know we've even talked about possibly being like friends in the future but obviously understanding that space but it's at a point where you know he's messing with me frequently from time to time and he just asked me to like out of the blue

asked me to go to a festival with him in Florida um like a three-day festival even though we just talked about there needing to be space because like we still have feelings for each other so and it's just confusing me and making it complicated and I don't know what to do so I would love your advice thank you oh girl this is not fair to you this is not fair to you it sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too which includes being single doing whatever he wants but also being with you and going on trips with you and having access to you and that is not i don't fuck with that i don't i don't fuck with that at all at all especially because it's like he knows you still have um feelings for him this breakup is still fresh of course you will and of

course he still has feelings for you the breakup's fresh but like he chose what he wants that's like the most important thing here to me he chose what he wants which is to be single and it's so hard because I'm not necessarily against being friends with exes but when you are in that phase of like learning to kind of like love yourself and understand that this relationship's not going to work you do need that distance in between and him hitting you up all the time feels kind of like invasive in a sort of sense where it's just like he wants access to you he wants that access to you he wants to be around you but also like he wants to be single and ultimately i think you're gonna have to just be like dude you gotta decide like i feel like i'm getting strung along i don't

feel like this is fair like you want to be single but also like you're messaging me all the time like you didn't want to be with me why do you want to be with me all of a sudden now i think that's a conversation that i would have where it's like sure we can be friends but like you're kind of like playing with my heart and that's just not fair at all um now if he's rich and he's gonna pay for a whole weekend girl fuck it as long as he has that hotel book that flight booked and everything paid for i mean go to florida enjoy your time but do i ultimately deep down in my heart feel like it's gonna be a hot fucking mess yeah yeah he could be also regretting his decision um i mean did he give you a reason why he broke up was it just like i don't want to be together then sure

but like he could be regretting what he did I think a conversation would be very productive in a neutral place maybe even just a phone call I think a phone call would be good like don't do this in person phone call hey I'm confused you wanted nothing to do with me which is why you broke up with me why are we messaging all the time what do you want I think you need to ask him straight up what do you want from this life and make him give you an answer if he's back and forth on that bullshit you know he's confused and he shouldn't be confusing your world as well that's why i think the period in between a breakup where you don't speak is very important so you can become more individualized again um but i think that's a harsh conversation that you're gonna

have to have or if you feel like that this is just not good for you if it's like messing with your head if he's messing with your head and you know that you know he broke up with you and doesn't want to be with you and you know is that a person you want to be with is this a relationship that you want to continue or is this something that you need distance from like take distance from it that's okay you can set those boundaries and take that space if you need it um don't let him play with your heartstrings like that if it's something that's really terrorizing your life because i understand how that can terrorize your life outside of a relationship i've been there i remember my first relationship we broke up but like we were still kind of messaging here and

there you know he would still want to hang out and it was like i knew we were never getting back together but still every time we hung out I I wanted to spend that time with him because it felt like how it was in that relationship and I wanted just a piece of that again even though I knew I was never gonna get it like a real relationship with him again and if I could have just skipped that time completely and really focused on healing and you know not spent time with him I really wish I would have done that and ultimately here I think the best advice I can really give you is just like do what's best for you do what's best for you if you still want a relationship with him and you're like you know what nothing bad really happened other than the

breakup and I'm willing to fight fuck it have that conversation ask him what do you want I'm confused what are your intentions here make him give you an answer if he has back and forth intentions then that's not somebody that you need to be wasting your time on you know like if he doesn't know what he wants why are you trying to figure it out for him um but also like if you do have this conversation and he's like you know what I really just I think I made a mistake I think I want to get back together if it's a month outside of it and neither of you have done things that are super detrimental to the relationship then like fuck it maybe try it again who knows but I do think that conversation needs to be had and also a conversation with yourself like how do you

feel how I mean it sounds like right now you're so preoccupied in what he wants but like what do you want did did he fuck you over and like genuinely you want nothing to do with him but you're still caught up in like the whole love brain you know but you need that time away take that time away like you deserve it you can stand up for yourself you can set those boundaries whatever you need to do you can do for yourself trust um but yes i love you i understand how confusing that can be uh men the worst you know what i mean but um yeah like i said if he's gonna pay for that whole trip and you guys end up like kind of trying it out again and like i said if he is paying for the whole entire thing you might as well get a free vacation out of it fuck it fuck

it you know what i'm a financially responsible person if a man's gonna pay for a flight and it's safe then like you might as well get that flight girl how to know if he's the one everything just works out it does you kind of have like it's kind of like a no-brainer like there's no end in sight I feel like sometimes when you know they're not the one you're like all right I gotta end this soon or it's just not working or there's too much friction I don't know I feel like the one it kind of feels like you're floating on a lazy river no end in sight it's kind of natural smooth a little rocky here and there but like you make it through um there there's like no questioning about it I mean sure you'll have your questions naturally everybody we as humans are innately going to be

questioning everything around us but it's kind of like the the warmth and understanding behind knowing that it's just like overall good you know I mean in my last relationship I was googling like is he the one is he the right person is he a narcissist is he evil about a hundred times a day if you aren't googling that 100 if you're on reddit all the time about is my boyfriend the one do I actually like him is he good for me I hate to break it to you girl he is not he's not how do you learn discipline discipline is just commitment to self you kind of have to make yourself your favorite hobby you know what I mean um investing time into yourself will never not pay off it will always help you grow it is always a net positive um investment in my opinion to be disciplined in

yourself and disciplined in you know your practices your spirituality your ego your experiences in general I do think there is a negative side to discipline though you can't be disciplined I don't I don't even like like the word disciplined in a sense where it's like I feel like every time I've been disciplined it's always felt like I'm like forcing it um I'm kind of like feeling negative about the whole situation it's like I'm putting myself down in a sort of way like very much so I mean discipline the word itself kind of brings up a sense of like almost like shame or like forcefulness in that sort of way I think commitment is a better word I think you should be committed committed to self committed to life

committed to career I think it makes you feel a little bit more uplifted and supported in that sort of sense but genuinely discipline commitment it all comes from just trust and desire that it'll work out belief that it'll work out um wanting to grow wanting to change wanting to become the best version of yourself and why shouldn't you want that you know what I mean but yeah discipline it kind of feels like a um like a when your parents are mad at you so they send you to your room and then you have to clean the house you know well commitment feels like I want to tend to this garden I want to help this garden grow I want to help myself grow so be committed to yourself Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer.

That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. hi sorry for my bad accent but um english is not my native language um anyways i wanted uh to tell you first of all i love you i love you i love you i love you and i'm so obsessed with you like you are the you're so cool um also uh i wanted to tell you that

i have you in my close friends by the way and also i wanted to ask for advice about like um how like my i do only friends and i meet with older men and my of course like my family does not approve that but how should i like deal with it because like it generally like i love what i do and yeah yeah and like i'm not like ashamed of it or stuff and i do everything like very safely so yeah listen i'm never gonna blame a girl for what she has to do to like make a bag and survive in this world ever the last thing i will ever do is put an of girl down like the same way i'm working at a restaurant is the same way you're doing of you know safe income something you're comfortable with that's all that fucking matters we are not always going to you know our parents

are not always going to approve of what we do ever like i'm not even doing only fans and my parents don't approve of like half the things i do in my life like do you think people listen to this podcast hell no they don't they don't need to that's for sure but like you know the way I live is very different from the way they live and I don't necessarily think it means that they like don't approve in a harsh way or like don't accept you in a harsh way I think they still accept you there's just there's just a difference there and that difference is going to continue you because you can't change what you do I mean you could but you know you enjoy it and that's valid um and also like your parents aren't going to change their mind so the best thing you can

really do is just accept where you are now and also understand that they're going to be loving they will love you no matter what even if they don't accept the things that maybe you're doing I do genuinely believe that love is still there and they do love you for who you are no matter what that's the silly thing with parents where it's like they'll tell you they hate a b c d e f g h i j k l m and a p about you like you're like oh great they fucking hate me but it's like no the love is still there they still love you you're their child and they may not make that clear like my parents definitely haven't made that clear in the past but it's like the older you get the more you'll understand it because it is that constant reassurance of them just being there you know

them just showing up for you or spending time with you or being around you and yeah you won't always be able to garner their acceptance I mean there's probably girls right now who are you know doing other things in life or other jobs or whatever it is and their parents still don't accept them and I don't think it's something that you should necessarily pine after you cannot be your parents of course you have to be you and that's very important so as long as you are accepting of yourself and you are safe and you are comfortable that's all that matters I think once you learn that you are not here to like please other people or to like make other people comfortable it really opens up your world a lot and makes your world a little bit easier to exist

in so it's hard especially when it comes to parents because it's like that's the one person that is supposed to be on your side is supposed to accept you no matter what but parents are flawed the same way we're flawed they're flawed they're gonna say things that hurt we're gonna say things that hurt they're not going to be accepting we're not going to be accepting it is what it is as long as the love is there that's all that matters and if they don't love you i love you be safe stay sexy all right what are your thoughts on lust oh my god what a question i actually was thinking about this a little bit i think lustfulness is a sign of like untrustworthiness in people um lustfulness feels like a like a need like a grasp like like fighting over something or

desperation in that sort of sense and especially like lustful lustful women i think lustful women are kind of like you know you hear the term pick me's a lot you know and i think that's really just a sign of lustfulness um lustfulness is kind of also forcing i feel like people who are lustful really push themselves aside to go after something else that i mean they don't even know if what they're going after is good they just completely and utterly throw everything else to the side in order to go after that one thing and I think a lot of people who involve themselves with like lustful men or women end up being hurt because ultimately you are not a second thought to them um I think lustfulness can be deceiving I think lustfulness can be honestly very hurtful um

especially like a lustful man I think a lustful man is dangerous lustful men very dangerous they don't give a fuck about you they only care about what's next who's next going after something so completely random that they have no idea if it's good or bad for them truly will throw you to the side i think lustfulness is dangerous um and i think it puts a lot of people in some very sticky situations i think we see a lot of like the male validation the pick me status the um situationships the um experiences like that due to lustfulness due to desire to want and be wanted but not in a healthy way more so in a consumptive like consumption way more so in a i need to consume i need to be consumed i want that so i'm gonna throw everything else to the side in order to

get it like i desire that thing so desire is more important than things that are maybe more stable or more real in my life um and i think that's a kind of a dangerous emotion unless you're listening to lana del rey's lust for life that's the only less that i approve of because like true less for self lust for life sure but lust I feel like in general is more of a desiring term of other people of other things and truly of throwing everything else out the window in order to receive those things I think it's dangerous especially like if you are around lustful women who are lusting after men and their attention I think a lot of other women get hurt by these women because they get put in situations where the men are favored and they aren't their safety isn't favored but the

men's are maybe they're pushed aside in order to receive that validation from men and i also think lustful men are dangerous because they might want you one second and then completely throw you to the side in order to receive something else the next second they're untrustworthy they're uncommitted they truly also like aren't connected to themselves because i think when people are connected to themselves and their wants and their desires they aren't lustful in that sort of way they know how to handle things a little bit more with balance more with understanding rather than um only desire and only like that innate hungry need and desire to feel fulfilled thinking about switching career paths but will be but there will be a pay cut slash starting over how do i know

i heard um this thing the other day i think i was listening to a podcast where on average people have like about eight careers in their lifetime I think we're sold this idea where it's like you get one career it's what you major in in college and that's what you do for the rest of your life and sure for some people it's that way but for most people I think genuinely they do change careers very very very often more often than you would think whether it's due to pay whether it's due to desire of you know needing something better desire of you know having different wants and needs or feeling more fulfilled in a certain sense and if something's not working and you do feel the call of action to somewhere else I think you not giving into that is a

disservice to yourself and deserve a disservice to like your intuition and your desires in that sort of way obviously you make the smart choice but a pay cut is something you can work with budgeting bam that solves that issue um you know starting over on the totem pole that's something you can work with just with time and energy and work ethic you can quickly work your way up I don't think you should let those things dictate you of course like if you need to pay your bills make sure you can pay your bills I am not someone who's going to be like yeah just quit your job and then don't do anything until you find something like don't quit until you have something to replace it obviously be smart in that sort of way but if it's just a minor pay cut where like

maybe you can't throw as much into savings as you want or you can't spend as much for fun as you want but it's something that makes you feel like like your soul and your career wise more fulfilled i think that payoff is worth it and the money will come to you sooner than you think so eight careers in a in your lifetime literally i'm on career number two two first one child care nannying second one service industry third one hopefully tattooing very soon very soon girl so i'm trying to like be a lot more in touch with my spiritual side because i've i've felt myself slowly like letting it slip out of my grasp over the past like year i want to say um but recently I've been really like trying to jump back into it I've been like focusing on my

tarot cards um but I've not really felt much motivation to do anything else like manifestation rituals or like anything fun like that so is there anything fun that you could recommend like with the the phases coming up the moon phases coming up and like big lunar events like is there anything that i could do specifically thanks girl i love you so when it comes to just spirituality i do think for me personally it does kind of go in waves and you know spiritual spirituality is all about like intuition and following that intuition and if right now your intuition isn't calling to it that's okay you know like i feel like that's totally fine like i said um mine goes in waves pretty often where it's like okay i'm fully tapped into my spiritual side

versus like maybe i'm a little more consumed with life i don't have enough time for it making time for it the same way you make time for hobbies is always nice um but yeah like i um like you said there's a bunch of kind of a little bit important astrology things coming up so let's go ahead and chat about it where do you get your horoscope updates i love the weekly ones we get from you um i mean with any sort of information you the more you take in the more you understand i don't think you should have one source that you go to for so horoscope astrology updates you know what i mean i think you should be taking in as much information from as many different people as possible i think we see a lot of fear-mongering on tiktok because people take from a singular

singular source and you know i mean in this state of media girls we got to learn now more than ever that you need to have multiple sources always so i'm usually reading about like five to ten articles before I make a full understood kind of prediction or theorization on what's happening speaking of I've been seeing a lot a lot a lot of March I mean just fear-mongering when it comes to astrology we do have eclipse season starting so I kind of understand the fear but like truly when it comes to astrology like it's all about if you think about it's all about like energy intake and output and if you are able to alchemize the energy and you know figure out where you want to put it you should be able to have a positive experience but if you let that fear-mongering really sit in

your soul and you truly believe that something bad's gonna happen like you're gonna manifest that shit so whenever i give astrology updates i try to stay as positive as possible while also like just giving you the signs and warning signs to look out for uh before we get into march astrology though i did want to just give the girls a full rundown i'm talking like paragraph after paragraph like talk about a substack article it's on my patreon though i do give like weekly astrology updates um we do have some stuff coming up the end of february february 24th which uh is today actually monday it'll be 25th when you're listening to this which thank god uh mars is actually going direct in the sign of gemini i'm so excited me as a gemini i'm like thank god

thank god we catch a break you know what i mean um but this will bring a breath of fresh air to us that we really need during this time mars is considered as the planet of courage boldness and bravery whenever mars transits whether it's a retrograde or direct action it has the power to cause quick significant changes mars and gemini usually rules over and has effects on productivity energy outlook and behavior in both positive and negative ways depending on what you feed into mars and gemini can have varying effects on everyone depending on what they what they do with this energy and where's mars is in your chart but what's most important is really take this time to balance stressors and also indulge in the blessings that this is bringing us okay mars is

a very um it can be like a very fiery sign in a sense where you know you feel that rush of energy and that rush of energy can be felt in a negative direction if you let it feed into the negativity though it's going to really catch flame um so really pay attention to where you're directing that energy and make sure you're directing it into a productive positive direction all right now we also have on thursday a pisces new moon this is very important pisces new moon okay this is important especially going to march where people are a little bit more afraid of what's coming up this is a great manifestation time to just making sure we are on the right path it is the last lunar phase of this astrological new year or year so we will be seeing a lot of like

you know full-fledged cycles ending we'll be opening our eyes a little bit more to what's happening we'll be seeing signs and symptoms of behaviors that maybe we don't enjoy we'll be wanting to bring in newness start fresh uh it'll be it'll be a good one also since it's in pisces the new moon will connect us to ourselves and the spiritual so emotions might be heightened we might find ourselves being a little bit more sensitive than usual pisces is such a sensitive baby like love you endlessly truly not of this earth but also if you feed into the sensitivity like i said um it might cause an overwhelmingness when you realize you're being a little bit sensitive take that time to do those deep breaths to power through to work through it so you can

actually place it somewhere productive don't let yourself get caught up in the stream of water swimming against the current instead released the stream and float we might finally see the big picture as the final sign of the zodiac Pisces can help us see the culmination point and perhaps even the point of no return reaching this end point can bring a sense of wisdom and knowing almost like reaching the finals chapters of a book where you are able to understand the fullness of the character's journey and how things may resolve um it's also placed nine degrees of pisces which is known for success and mystery okay get those manifestation tools out now figure out what you want to bring into this next astrological year figure out what you want to release what you are

wanting to focus on these next couple months and most importantly please give some gratitude pisces new moon is also making a conjunction with jupiter which is good news jupiter is known to be positive and beneficial placement the planet of abundance and expansion with that said whatever you're feeling might feel expanded remember to release the current um so we can also use this energy to expand our dreams and blessings overall any energy this is a portal of deep healing and transformation which i highly encourage you all to dive into before eclipse season takes over jupiter will help shine positive light on a brighter future while also ushering abundance on personal growth and understandings pisces will help us navigate freely through these feelings

and bring peace to hardship i kind of envision like pisces new moon as like that really nice trip sitter you have where like maybe you know when you're tripping it's like whoa i'm seeing the world for what it is things are moving it's a little bit of like a floaty experience but also emotions can sometimes take over so pisces is that really cool trip sitter that's like no calm down everything will be okay release to the universe just experience and enjoy and ride it out focus on the positive all right but like i said manifestation pisces take a bath okay i talked about a little ritual on the patreon but easy you know write down your manifestations um whatever herbs and crystals you would like to usher in these blessings place them in a bowl of

water place it under the new moon and then the next day with that water you can take a bath and really soak in your blessings soak in your manifestations physically absorb them um so yeah a little spiritual a little uh end of february astrology for you all love you but yeah if you want to see the full write-up it is on my patreon patreon.com slash smoke says shawty okay hannah i have a a situation for you so throughout my life i have dated lots of piece of shit men right who uh either love bomb me or i was just oblivious and was like oh he's just mysterious no he's a fucking asshole right um i've recently met this new guy who well i've known him for a long time but i never really gave him the chance until fairly recently and he has showed me very quickly

that he is interested and is already treating me better than i ever let like had any man ever treat me um but i you know deep down i have these panics of like is he being serious is he love loving me is he lying to me just gonna switch things up later on how do i get myself out of this like negative mindset of like thinking i don't deserve things and how do i decipher whether or not a man is actually love bombing me or not that's kind of the issue that i have is like is he being realistic is he love bombing me what's going on um any advice would be appreciated thank you i love you so so much um bye bye okay babe first of all you do deserve good things you know this too it sounds like from from what you said it sounds like this man is good here's the thing

I think people get treated nicely and then they kind of get this like fear-mongering aspect of like love bombing when in reality love bombing is not just like them being nice to you at the beginning love bombing is them doing something horrible and awful and then immediately like 360ing the emotion and doing something really really really nice my ex used to love bomb me all the time I have never received more flowers in my entire life because he would verbally abuse me and then go buy me a bouquet of roses and like chocolates and diamonds like jewelry and be like I'm so sorry I love you that's love bombing not just a man being nice to you so I think what you should do is a you've been through all these negative experiences you know what to look out

for it more so than anybody else because you've been through them you know what they look like you know the warning signs trust in that if i were you right now i would kind of make a list of like all the warning signs you saw in the past or all the things you didn't like in the past um with those relationships with those shitty men and be like if any of these things start to pop up in this relationship then i'll start questioning it but for now like have some fun have some fun you deserve to not be in fight or flight for a moment like you deserve good things you deserve to enjoy this relationship wait until something serious actually pops up for you to be like okay now this man's a piece of shit now i need to actually start thinking about this relationship

and if he is love bombing me but for now like girl it sounds like you found a good man it sounds like he wants to treat you well and you need more so now than ever when you've never had that you need to indulge in that and enjoy because when I was coming out of a negative relationship there were so many kind of like thoughts in my brain similar to yours where I was overthinking the situation for what it was when in reality like I should have just been enjoying it and falling in love and I think that's what you deserve if you're really worried that you're not going to see the signs and fall back into the same situations you were in the past make a list like I said red flag list of the situations you've been in you know how you realize what you noticed bad behaviors

so if they do happen to pop up in this new relationship you can kind of like okay double cross dot my eyes cross my t's whatever the fuck you can kind of like see the situation for what it is but for now i am giving you permission to sit back and enjoy i'm giving you permission to fall in love all right wait till those red flags pop up you know what they look like you're smart you're you know what they got going on girl but for now enjoy thoughts on dating apps or should i stick to meeting people organically someone also said everyone on dating apps is so horny okay real i mean in person or on dating apps like if you're interacting with a man he's gonna be extremely horny to the point where it's probably annoying but like that is something that he has

to physically deal with not you that is not a pressure that should be put on you ever by a man if a man is unnecessarily horny and it's like a problem you're like i'm getting the ick like what the fuck you can go ahead and get out of there once again lustfulness no control no self-understanding not something we need all right um back in the day back in my day when i was on the dating apps which i haven't been on in quite some time it's fun for like a little ego boost like if you need a little ego boost you need a little like all right what's out there let's go chit chat with some cutesy men like fuck it let's go on a random date I think the dating apps can be really great I don't really know what the best dating apps are right now from my girls and what I've heard from

them hinge seems to be you know the most reliable source I don't think tinder tinder seems a little bit more hornier than hinge I mean although hinge is just as horny as tinder probably um you got to expect everybody on dating apps is like hook up you know I don't think anybody's on a dating app looking to find a marriage partner but like if it leads to that then sure fantastic um if you need to go on like dates though I think I think you know dating apps are perfectly fine no problem with them be smart do some vetting chit chat a little bit before you just randomly meet up with somebody absolutely but like if you need a little bit of an ego boost I think dating apps are perfectly fine now meeting people in person can be really great as well and also like probably the

best way but once again meeting anybody in a bar after 11 p.m once again it's the same as interacting with a man on a dating app just like horny you know you gotta understand that once again if they make it your problem that is not someone you want to you know really interact with at all but if it's like a natural little banter little fun little flirting get a number continue it up it naturally flows that's fantastic and I think meeting people in person can be amazing bars clubs no not clubs I take that back cute little small indie bars uh concerts small shows local events things like that I think are great ways to meet people in person and kind of the IRL version of dating apps you know what I mean both are pretty much the same

in my opinion I don't think one is better than the other I take away here really is just most men are horny and most men just want to fuck and keep that in mind please you don't have to given and if he makes his horniness your problem get out of there get out of there immediately please tell me some advice you'd want your 18 to 19 self to absolutely absorb it's not that serious it is not that serious have some fun i mean most importantly don't have too much fun like 18 19 you don't need to be doing all those drugs you don't need to be getting into clubs with 30 year olds that's not necessary have 18 to 19 year old fun where it's like oh we somehow got a handle and we're drinking in the dorm rooms or oh we're gonna go to a little frat party whatever it is if you're

out of high school if you're in college like freshman year yeah go have your little freshman college party scene fun it's not that serious school school serious if you're in college take that shit seriously all right but you personally not that serious learn to have some fun don't overthink yourself don't overthink your friends be a good person stay in school don't go party with 30 year olds also you don't need a boyfriend that's probably the most important thing what do you do if your boyfriend calls you a c word during an argument then hours later tells you he loves you for the first time how do i know if this is damage control or if he actually meant it listen i don't think your partner should ever feel comfortable disrespecting you on a human to human

love level i do not think it's okay for your partner to ever curse at you to ever yell at you to ever call you bad names to ever demean you i think all of those things are very major major red flags absolutely especially if it happens multiple times they do not they don't see you as like a partner and I hate to say that but like their emotional control is their ability to handle and there's no reason that they should be going off on you in any sort of capacity like that especially as a as a man as a man that's not man behavior at all at all that is something that I would absolutely be screaming back at him for and we would need some time apart I kind of imagine it like this if there is any way that your boyfriend would treat you that you would not see

you would not want like your theoretical child to see that is not a quality of a partner that you should have all right if he is screaming at you imagine him screaming at you in front of your child like that is something you need to immediately have a conversation about or leave him over now I also understand like sometimes we lose our shit sometimes I've been here before like sometimes it's like a one-off random moment where you're just overwhelmed and you freak out and it's not necessarily like their fault it's more so like a you freak out moment and maybe you say some things you regret absolutely i don't think saying i love you for the first time is the time and place to do so and i do think that is a manipulation tactic but i do think like a real honest apology

and also never ever ever seeing that again is what would remedy the situation all right understanding that your behavior in that moment was not at all something that should ever happen again and never doing it again period apologizing profusely understanding what you did wrong genuinely trying to make amends i understand those one-off situations but if it happens twice you need to pack your bags and go verbal assault is like step one and i don't ever wanted to get to step two i don't ever want your partner to think that they can demean you in that way or speak to you in that manner ever that is not something you deserve and that's not something that I ever think a healthy relationship has and I know this because I was raised in a healthy

relationship like I witnessed what a healthy relationship looks like and I'm so so so so so thankful for that whereas my partner kind of witnessed what a unhealthy relationship looks like and I mean you can come from an unhealthy like you can see you know your parents being an unhealthy relationship and you can be like yeah that's not what I want to fucking do and you can take that and move forward and never do that you can also be in a see a healthy relationship from your parents and understand like that's not something that is okay because it's not something I've ever seen either way like people should be able to learn I don't believe in like well this is what I grew up with like sure but we got to learn and grow from these situations and understand that we can't be

continuous of these traumas that we experienced um i do understand like i said one-off situations like very light not serious one-off situations but if this is a continuous problem i need you to run as fast and as far as you possibly can hello ignore the sound of the torch in the background i'm wondering do you have advice regarding your cat is sick permanently as in you took your cat to the emergency vet a few days ago and they said girl this girl has fic after testing her for absolutely everything else because that is a diagnosis of exclusion meaning you're gonna spend six grand to figure that out anyway i'm just looking for advice on managing stress levels i suppose um i don't get worried

like this about myself or really anything else but this cat is my baby and i feel like she's my responsibility like i take it so seriously but um yeah the not sleeping isn't healthy so Any advice would be welcome. Thank you. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research.

Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. register today at pmcfwalk.ca girl i totally feel this especially right now where it's kind of like i'm in a limbo phase of like well fingers crossed i just hope he gets better i don't necessarily know too much about the fic um situation or what that entails or you know um how you move forward from here but i do know that when it comes to having something else rely on us we need to be the best version of ourselves we need to be taking care of ourselves so then we have the energy to take care of them we need to be getting enough sleep so then we are able to fully think through the options and

make sure that we are taking care of that that person that animal whatever it is I got so caught up in the stress of it all I felt like I really fell fell behind not in life but just in myself i was so caught up in my stress and anxiety um i think you'll get in like relationships like this too where it's just so stressful and anxious and you really just forget about yourself completely when in reality if you have something relying on you whether it's a child a friend family member a cat a dog if this thing is relying on you the best thing you can do for that animal this in this situation is make sure you're taking care of yourself um you know how cats are they can feel our stress so make sure you are eating enough you are sleeping enough um the answers will come to

you you will work out a plan with your vet i promise um also highly recommend um there's like so many threads like i love cat people because we are all just as equally crazy as each other and fantastic because like bets believe i'm gonna get real answers from these people so like get on the forums do some research chit chat with people who have been through this experience before i think that also brings a bit of peace of mind what made this so complicated with my cat is there's just like not a lot of information out there on it so it's a lot of just trial and error but with fic i know that's something that's a fair i mean in the cat world fairly common and since it is so a little bit more extreme than other things um more people

have dealt with it but i think you can find some peace of mind and community as well through people who've experienced this and through um finding answers that way finding the best plan of action that way it will come to you you will find the natural path um and i pray for you and your little kitty cat i understand just how anxiety inducing and just stressful it can be but ultimately what does bring me the most peace of mind is just like i am providing this cat with the best life possible period i am giving him his wet food his special diet his special treat i am checking up on him i am loving on him as much as he will physically allow me to like i am just i love him so much and ultimately sometimes we can't help the health things that occur you know but we what we can help

is the love that we give and i will never ever regret any experience in life as long as i do it with love and as much love as i possibly can give in my heart um so whether that's like relationship wise if a relationship doesn't work out fuck it at least i loved with my full heart if you know with my cat like eventually it is what it is he's going to pass away at some point like i wish i could make him live to a hundred but it's just not god's plan but ultimately when that time comes i will have the peace of mind of knowing that I truly truly made this I made this cat's life so good I loved him so much he was so loved in this lifetime and I think that also provides so much peace to that anxiety when you have unanswered questions you're going to have that anxiety no

matter what so invest in community talk to those doctors be that crazy cat mom get those answers understand what best plan of action is good for you take care of yourself so then you're actually able to take care of the the animal that's relying on you you know you're able to make the best decisions because you're getting enough sleep you're eating enough you're able to take care of them because you are taking care of yourself and last but not least you know whatever it comes to as long as you love that animal fully that is all that matters in my mind you know give love unconditionally give that animal the best life possible that is truly truly what brings me the most peace um trigger warning but last time i took him to the er vet um next to me there was like

um like you can kind of hear through the rooms or whatever but some older man had brought in his older cat i think she was like 22 not me like listening through the walls and i'm literally sitting there and i can hear it but um they were kind of he was there to like you know put her down and obviously there was no other option um she was 22 lived a full life and the nurse was kind of like all right you know take your time spend it with her as soon as you're ready like ring this little doorbell or whatever and we'll come start the procedure and he was like you know what i have had a full 22 years with this cat I have loved it endlessly I know she is in pain right now I know right now is not a good time for her I know she is suffering right now and I do not want to prolong

it anymore I have lived a full 22 life years with this cat I have lived a full life with this cat I have given it so much love and right now I know the next step of love is in front of me and I just have to take it and I thought like at first I was like okay that's kind of cold-hearted but second I kind of thought about it for a second I was like you know what true so right like that man has no regrets that man knows exactly what that cat needs that man is brave enough to take that next step he is not selfish he is understanding of what this cat needs that time and he knows in his heart that he has given as much love possible to this cat that he feels like no regrets in that sort of sense like remorse sure but not so much where it's like I need to prolong 15 minutes of

suffering just for like more time like he was like no I know what's good and I knew he cared because after that he was like and I know with the cremation services sometimes you do it in batches but like I want her done alone like I want to get my cat back I was like no that man cares you know what I mean like that man really cares so that like in that moment genuinely I was like okay that is the peace of mind I need is just knowing fully that I love that animal unconditionally and I provided the best life so sounds like you're doing that sounds like you know the stress is there because it's an unknown situation you will figure out the answers eventually I mean you sound passionate enough to find those answers find them in community find them in threads reddit threads

like I was literally on like like cats.com or whatever it is like typing in like please help somebody give me some answers has there any been any experience with this supplements whatever it is there's people out there who will help provide answers or like help you figure it out so trust in that um and yes love love love always love solves everything um but i feel you and your stress please take care of you your cat needs it right now uh but with that being said it's a little bit of a longer episode i was like i need to get through some of these questions 1500 1500 questions like we gotta get through some of those girl i hope you had a fun little episode here today though i know i did it's bright and sunshiny out i am feeling the warmth i am hot as hell in this

sweater i'm gonna get around with my day make me some lunch and just enjoy my time and i hope you do so as well stay sane this week with the new moon coming up remember to take care of yourself your mental health your well-being that is what's most important in this life seek love always spread love everywhere invest in community invest in yourself it's what you deserve with that being said if you want to see more from me follow me on patreon patreon.com smoke says shoddy for exclusive content and extra episodes every thursday if you're in the top two tiers um astrology updates oh my gosh journal prompts weekly inspiration things like that so much fun over there and if you don't know where to submit your question follow me on instagram at hannah

marlene you can always dm me a question if you heard any of the voice notes today all they did was send me a voice recording to my dms um and then i upload the questionnaire every sunday for 24 hours for you guys to submit your questions there but with that being said stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear

of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.