Smoke Sesh - plastic surgery, mean girls, surviving the 9-5 & college dropouts

Episode Date: July 19, 2022

Happy Tuesday! Today is a little chaotic as we cover many topics such as jobs, and surviving a 9-5, ghosting and how to move on from future ideals, seeing people for who they really are, mean girls and what to do, hangover cures and favorite sunscreen for my outdoor girlies. How to romanticize your every day life, morning routine and makeup routine, combating negative self talk when you’re the bully to yourself, creating a judgement free zone and dropping out of college, finding your passion and your way in life as well as romanticization and much much much much more. Hope you all have a wonderful week I will see you Thursday for another episode and hopefully some juicy confessionals, follow the insta for updates and merch next week @ hannahmarlen MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning everybody, or should I say afternoon, considering it is 2pm. i woke up with the intention of you know getting up getting shit done getting on a roll but the universe had other plans for me the universe being my boyfriend he stayed over last night and

then woke up this morning and called out so we could just hang out a little bit which was kind of nice because i have the day off and we usually don't see each other like at all during the day um and if we see each other at night after i finish working it's usually only for like a couple hours so it's very sweet of him to call out so we spent the morning just laying in bed which was really nice but i didn't get out of bed until 11 30 and adhd me like plus anxiety me combined freaks out for some reason when i sleep in i don't know why like i should allow myself to rest and relax and enjoy my time but then like my mind just starts going down this downward spiral of like oh my god well i need to get this done i need to get this done i need to get this done

and then i literally am just like i cannot sit here any longer i can't so we went and we got some coffee um hung out for a little bit and now he's off to go do his thing for the afternoon so i can hang out with you guys but I really didn't have a super eventful weekend I've kind of just been you know piecing together my apartment now that I finally have AC after a week of not having AC I put up my art easel which was super exciting so I've been painting a little bit hanging out here my um my manager brought me some plant cuttings which was like super duper sweet so i've been trying to get those set up and i've been trying to piece together like cheap furniture that i can find on facebook marketplace for my apartment which has been going pretty well i can't lie

if you are in the market for new furniture as someone who literally spent 450 at ikea and got what i would call nothing um like i got some mats and some uh like a basket and some lights and a chair and it was 450 i was at the register and i like gasped she was like is that okay i was like yeah like i need it whatever i'll pay but you can get a majority of the shit you need for way cheaper if you just spend your time on facebook marketplace or like hitting up thrift stores i would say go to facebook marketplace for furniture people are constantly uploading shit on there and if you live in maybe like a rural city um change your location for like a bigger city if you don't mind driving but i went and picked up this incredible like mid-century modern gold and glass

like bookshelf that's super adorable i went and picked up this like wicker basket um a few side tables and i'm about to pick up some chairs for my living room because i need just like little space to sit and like a stool for my art easel so 10 out of 10 recommend because they have been pulling through lately and it's taking everything in my power to not uh purchase everything in uh on that website so but yeah unfortunately don't have a lot to catch you guys up on um have been drinking swamp water every day if you haven't tried it yet 10 out of 10 recommend it is just a matcha oat milk latte with a little sweetener and a shot of espresso my heart feels like it's going as fast as hummingbird wings which is incredible because

i also have no anxiety usually when my heart feels like that my anxiety is also at a all-time high and then i it's like a deadly combination like i feel like i'm gonna die but luckily the matcha green tea any sort of green tea is just especially for my girlies with anxiety it helps reduce anxiety but still gives you that like a little bit of caffeine rush that we're all addicted to i know but i've just been realizing that coffee just gets me so fucking out of my head like just so unnecessarily anxious so i'm switching to green tea this summer i cannot lie but yeah i don't really have a whole lot to update you guys on um but i guess better for you because we're gonna dive into a bunch of questions and get a lot of shit done um i got a ton of call-ins

so set up for the week i'm dropping merch next week i know very exciting like very very exciting so if you guys want to um get the merch while it is available for one week only follow me on instagram at hannah marlene i believe i will be dropping it next tuesday um i cannot fucking wait i'm so excited to show you guys what i've come up with and to be rocking like matching sweatshirts and matching grinders and all that shit i'm so fucking excited um to just see that like if i ever see somebody else wearing my hoodie in public i think i will cry so like cannot fucking wait there will be two episodes this week i know crazy right me being like i can't do it we're only doing one all of a sudden just completely switch it up to yeah we're doing two a week um still working

on my patreon i just have been focused more on my merch recently other than my patreon so i've been trying to get that out before um so that's lucky for you guys we're gonna do two episodes this week thursday's episode is gonna be a confessional episode welcome to church um mother smoke sash is going to be answering all your confessionals um so if you have any of those please submit them once again to my instagram at hannah marlene or um there's a link in my instagram bio in my link tree where you can submit call-ins as well i would love call-ins i love hearing from you guys i love hearing your voice and just having that open conversation and that flow so with that being said let's dive right in when i posted the questionnaire for um this week's

podcast i was like it was just a cute little photo you know and my eyes were a little red and someone goes are you crying i was like girl no i'm high i'm high as shit those are not those are not red eyes from crying thank god they are red eyes from being quite honestly in another dimension so all right someone asked me um how to stay motivated when it comes to going to work every week felt especially when you work a job that maybe is not like you know your dream job or something that you really really want to be doing it's just something that you got to go to that pays the bills felt like felt that that is a majority of what i do um especially like at my bartending and serving job like is that something i want to do for the rest of my life

no no not at all but it pays the bills and unfortunately i gotta wake up and go do it um the best kind of advice i can give you is to not center your life around your work um i feel like especially in a i mean the capitalistic society that we are growing up in and have grown up in and the emphasis on your identity needs to be on your career and what you're doing and that needs to be your complete and utter focus is like you know a little toxic like sure you do need to plan out your future you do need to think about your career a little bit but should it be the absolute center of your life no some people are lucky that they have amazing jobs wonderful jobs and that can be the reality for them they can focus on their jobs completely

and fully and it will fund them and it will support them and it will bring them that necessary kind of um mental like uh what's the word i'm looking for mental mental uh stimulation that they need now other people and by other people i mean a majority of the people go to work to pay their bills period point blank and the best way to kind of cope with um making it through jobs like that because like i feel you i've been there with many of my jobs um is to simply de-center your work from your life like yes you got to wake up you got to go to your nine nine to five i get it but what are you doing after your nine to five are you just laying around on the ground kind of recuperating from your nine to five and thinking about your nine to five and

letting your nine to five continuously take over your brain what are you doing from five to nine does that make sense because your time isn't completely eaten up by your job yes it does take up time for sure I agree but it's not completely eating up your time um and I really encourage you to go find something outside of work that really makes you passionate and really drives you and makes you inspired to leave work and go do something whether it's like a small hobby such as going to an art class like oh my god I'm so excited to get out of work so I can go to this class and go do this thing or oh I'm so excited to go meet up with this new friend and go do this thing find a different passion um I think that's totally valid I think that's totally okay sometimes

like I get it we just need a job to survive to make it through um but when you have all of your life centering around a job especially a job you don't hate or a job you hate uh yeah your life I get it it's gonna be a little bit kind of redundant a little bit kind of uninspirational so take advantage of that five to nine take advantage of that time you do have outside of work and try and find stuff that really does inspire you take that risk take that chance try that new class you know we have one life to live and I think it's very important to not spend it constantly overworking ourselves and constantly focus on our jobs oh my god how to how can I cope with knowing my ex is using the songs i showed him to get to other girls that is weirdo behavior not on your part

but his part how do you know this also i think you need a healthy distance from your ex like i think you need to block his spotify or block whatever fucking accounts that you can tell that this is happening through um and also if he's using songs that you showed him i feel like that just already he has a tie to you in those songs and i think that's a weirdo move on his part to try and use them on other girls like think about it like if you were that girl and then this guy was showing you music that his ex-girlfriend had shown you you would be like why is she living in your head rent-free why is this happening like babe look other look in other directions you know change it up find some new music because i don't need to be tied to that bitch you know

same way you don't want to be tied to her it's just weirdo on his his behavior you know i don't think it has anything to do do with you and i say keep healthy distance and let him just continue to be a fucking weirdo as they are someone asked best ways to get out of a funk i can't get on a schedule for shit felt that um so i was like that for about the past year i can't lie i was on the wave of you know like it's up to the universe like i want to be a just like random girly like i want to be the girly who's down for anything and everything and just like on a whim and just be like the manic pixie dream girl well guess what that works for a little bit until you realize that you waiting and waiting and waiting is in fact forcing your life to a

stand still and if you do not actively interact with your life and the things going on nothing is going to happen for you it really took me waking up one day and realizing hmm all this shit that i wanted to get done isn't getting done and i was like well why isn't getting it why isn't it getting done like i'm trusting in the universe like i'm believing in myself but was i actually doing anything no was I working towards anything really no not really um was I working on myself in any way not really at all um and it took me getting to that harsh realization and me also thinking about if I continue in this cycle and continue assuming that somebody's gonna show up and hand me everything that I want um I'm going to be stuck like this forever like until until I die

like this is going to be my reality until I die and I don't want that to be my reality period point blank um and so I called it like my first step you know I just needed to take my first step I just need to do the one thing that was really hard and that would be my first step and then I would get that out of the way and then I'd be like okay I need to take my second step and here's the thing life is just a continuation of you taking small steps towards what you want to achieve and you taking small steps towards your ideal future and you taking small steps towards your ideal self okay it's working on those behaviors that really kind of um are not great working on those thought processes that aren't great working on yourself in a way that is bettering yourself

and it it's a really easy start and you're like no it's not it's really not but it is because your first step is you just realizing it okay and I guarantee every step you take after that is just going to get easier and easier and you're just going to get more addicted to kind of bettering yourself and bettering your life and taking those necessary steps because you'll realize that in your head the the like how hard you're making it up to be is not reality okay and in reality it's a lot more simple than you think it just takes you taking that first step and now you're like hannah i don't even know what that first step is like i don't even know what I need to do for me personally the my first steps were me just doing everything that I was

avoiding yeah yep and I know you have a few on your mind okay like doctor's appointments uh working with my financial advisor um cleaning my room hanging my laundry up doing laundry it was the things that I had been avoiding and if you have an ADHD brain like me a to-do list and a mind dump are two very different things so let me help you kind of organize this your first step needs to be um you have to a recognize and you need to get your shit done in the morning i think i talked about this in a previous podcast you got to get up and you got to just start getting your shit done if you don't get on a role right when you're awake you simply it's going to be just way harder for you to kind of get in a

role of things later on into the day when you've kind of succumbed into a certain mindset so right when you wake up get up all right when you're like this is this is when i need to start making changes you're going to do a brain dump literally grab a pen grab a notebook that doesn't have to be perfect no perfect handwriting just like fucking mind dump every single thing that you have on your mind that you need to get done whether it's big whether it's small whether it's easy whether it's hard anything that has been giving you anxiety that you just haven't worked towards anything that you want to work towards any small things big things like i don't care what it is if it's on your brain and in the kind of category of like i need to do this write

it down okay now you got a list of 5 10 15 20 things maybe 50 things that you need to do that is very overwhelming especially to the adhd mind because it's not organized it's a brain dump that is not a to-do list all right from there you are going to organize your week okay and you're not going to get everything done and that's okay but organize your week so today what are the things that i can get done today oh i gotta make these phone calls i gotta do this laundry i can't do this because i can do that on a different day because maybe you work this day or whatever it is and then organize your week or your day simply based on the things on your to-do list and then cross them off all right the power of crossing shit off i don't know why my brain just loves it

even in the notes app you can do like uh bullet points and you can kind of uh like have open bullet points and you can click on it it'll put a little check mark in it that super fucking like i love that i love looking back on my week and seeing all the little check marks that i had done for the week it makes you feel so kind of like um oh i was gonna say powerful maybe i guess it does make you feel powerful because you're taking control of your life and you're taking control of what you need to do so I really recommend it and just start one week even if you have five like check marks five crossed out things it feels really good it really does and then take the step towards your next week to organize again okay go back over that mind dump list add to it

cross things off that you've gotten done and then reorganize your week and then every Sunday or every day that's kind of your restart day to look back on your week take a look at it see everything you've got done and feel proud, feel accomplished, I guarantee you will become obsessed with living your life and getting your shit done. It does just take you realizing that you're in this kind of this like a lull space and then it does take you just simply taking the action of getting out of it. Unfortunately, we are the only people in control of our lives. No one is going to come hold our hand and do this for us. We are the only people who can make these steps, these decisions, these changes on our own no one else is going to come hold your hand and walk you through it

so you got to believe in yourself and you just got to take that risk take that chance and really just trust in yourself and work hard because i guarantee the hard work that you put into yourself and your life and your goals and your hobbies and your dreams will feel much much better than like you waking up and going to work and doing all that shit simply because that's it doesn't feel like it's for you like sure you're making money but when it feels like it's for you and you can actually see the betterment it's doing wow it's incredible 10 out of 10 recommend hey hannah i here literally love your podcast it's my therapy um so i'm calling you today to ask you about this guy i've been seeing for about a month um we've been going on dates been on like three dates so

far and things are going pretty well we're you know communicating and I think connecting in all areas except the physical so we've made out in bed twice now and he seems just kind of reserved and like hasn't really tried to even put his hands below my waist so I'm thinking like is it me does he maybe not like girls that way which is totally fine or like a religious conservative upbringing but um yeah I just like I'm kind of stumped here and curious to hear your thoughts so yeah thanks so much love you girl hello I think this is a great question okay I feel like you're not alone here it's okay especially when you're in new relationships people get nervous you know people get a little shy and they're also maybe unsure of what to do

we never know people's kind of history especially their sexual history i really do encourage you to ask that though um or like what they're comfortable with or what they are like this is why i love having these conversations with people like anybody like friends not family uh like my boyfriend very important things that i wanted to talk about because sex was so important in my life and i think it needs to be normalized way more is just like general questions like what do you like what do you enjoy have you had sex before like let's get into this are you from a super religious background you maybe you know are feeling those shame that guilt during sex how can i help you through it you know but i think maybe things are going a good way i don't think it's you

i do need to say so i do not think it's you you seem to know what you want it seems to be you know working out well you've been talking for a little bit um but you know that first kind of time in bed is a little nerve-wracking i can't lie you know i'm sure you get nervous too i think he just might be way too in his head you know like way too in his head um so maybe help him get out of it um and talk i think it's very important to talk uh ask him what he likes hey um would you like to do this um hey uh you know let's turn on some music let's set the mood you know what i mean um it's just a very simple thing such as like asking them questions maybe beforehand maybe while you're out to dinner you know bring up the topic like what has your past sexual history look

like and not like that like don't ask like a doctor but um definitely you know bring up those topics um and then you know if that seems to go well they seem interested you can go home set the mood right maybe have a little drink have a little smoke whatever it is set put some music on turn on some fun lights you know and then like you can take it slow i think it's really cute and really lovely and wonderful to take it slow as somebody who sleeps on the first day a lot like me and my boyfriend yeah we first time we ever hung out we were together for two days and we had so much sex like a lot i think it's so cute that people like let it build up and they take their time and really make sure that each other are comfortable um so take it slow you know

start by just like touching and then move to kissing and then like if if maybe he's in his head and is like i don't want to be a fucking weirdo and just like you know go for it you can ask him to do things okay it's okay to ask you know i feel like sometimes the people always assume that people should be able to read each other's minds especially during sex but sex is so important and the most important thing about sex is communication we are not mind readers we do not know what's going on in each other's head and to avoid that weirdness and that kind of disconnect i think it's really important to just simply talk and ask questions and do you like this would you like to do this people are like oh that sounds too formal like that sounds like wait like how do you

talk but it's like just be open i guarantee the connection will be much much greater if you're just open to simply having that communication um and yeah if he is from like a weird religious background and doesn't and is having some issues that's cool but like talk about it you know ask him these things um ask him if he's comfortable ask him if he wants to do this um and get a little flirty get a little fun with it see how he reacts maybe he just has never been in a sexual situation before straight up like I don't know how old you are maybe he's a virgin maybe he's been with one or two people maybe he's nervous but I doubt it's you and so the best thing that you can do especially with a nervous maybe little uncomfortable partner they're a little unsure of themselves is just

making sure you're setting up a safe space for them to kind of explore themselves as well so yeah talk talk it out ask questions do a little digging do a little research I think that's totally okay but good luck i hope you figure it out oh someone asked for hangover remedies the best hangover remedies that i can really tell you are sleeping okay no so yeah sleep as much as you can wake up whenever all right you're gonna wake up immediately you are going to want a liquid IV and about four ibuprofen and then you're gonna maybe want to smoke a little bit to get rid of that hangover anxiety the anxiety I think we all have been there I think we all know what that is though oh my god what the fuck was I doing last night oh my god why am I super anxious oh my god

why am I feeling this way it's because your organs are like going through it so of course that's gonna translate to your mental health no you probably didn't do anything crazy no you probably aren't or didn't or you know are overthinking um that's just how anxiety is gotta love it um so yeah liquid ivy smoke a little weed lots of ibuprofen and then something that's like greasy or like a subway sandwich i don't know why i love subway sandwiches when i'm hungover it might be just like the the gross bread that i really love or the oily mayo anyways a good sandwich or like a good burger and some tater tots yes 10 out of 10 and then take a nap and then sleep that is my ideal hangover cure i can't lie okay someone asked how does one respond to getting ghosted

after things seem to be going really well i feel like most online quote-unquote bad bitch girlies who's here to give advice would be like fuck them you shouldn't feel bad you know like don't have these negative thoughts about yourself like you shouldn't feel those things usually those are general generally normal human reactions all right when a loved one is ignoring us when someone we don't know is treating us badly in general when somebody is treating you negatively you are going to fear feel negative that's just how it is the great thing with emotions though is that we can feel them and we can understand them and process them and we can let go of them and not let them take up every single ounce of our space and our mind all right that person showed you who they

are straight up that person showed you who they are they led you on they treated you really nicely did whatever and then completely ghosted you that shows me as somebody from a third party perspective that they are a coward and they can't address their own uh issues and their own emotions and they are not emotionally intelligent enough to even hold probably a relationship if they are going to ghost somebody all right i hate to be like you dodged a bullet but you did dodge a bullet as much as you are like well but what if that's the thing what if that's all you have are what ifs and you cannot live your life based on what ifs you can only live your life based on what is in front of you the facts okay you can sit around you can fantasize like well what if

we had this perfect relationship well what if they come back well what if they what what what what if babe what if they ghosted you they showed you that they are very emotionally not intelligent they showed you that they maybe need to focus on themselves and they can't deal with another person right now and that is fine you did not do anything wrong you put yourself into this openly you opened your heart you weren't a coward like they were and it didn't work out and that's okay it hurts i get it but you cannot live your life based on what ifs the best thing you can do is understand that if you were able to open your heart and open your life and open your perspective to one person then you are going to be able to do that for a lot of people and for

a lot of people who are going to treat you well and actually care for you and actually be there for you and not put you aside or push you aside all right there's so many incredible people out there and you cannot live your life thinking about this one person who obviously showed you who they were obviously showed you they are not a good person nor do they think about you or have your interests in hand they are selfish they're only thinking about themselves and you need to move on okay it's okay it's okay to get our feelings hurt that's fine i get my feelings hurt a lot i'm a sensitive ass bitch i can't lie it's okay to be sensitive it's okay to be a little dramatic but you got to feel those things you got to allow them to kind of take form to understand why and

then to move on because if you don't allow yourself to address those feelings and those emotions you will not allow yourself to move on. So I'm sorry. That sucks. But also those people are walking red flags. All right. And you definitely dodged a bullet. Oh my gosh. Someone asked me what sunscreen I use. Um, I use the Neutrogena one. I don't know what the type is. It's a spray. I love the spray. Um, and it's literally a hundred SPF. Like I burn, I burn. i'm a pale girly okay if you've seen any pictures of me i'm a pale blonde girly all right and i burn like when i say i burn i mean i when i was younger i would get blisters like horrible third degree burns like i probably will be getting skin cancer if i continue this so i am all about my

son's care uh neutrogena love neutrogena especially if you're a breakout girly um i have a really hard time with uh specifically sunscreens i feel like they always clog pores they especially i so my areas that i break out the most are like my chest um sometimes my neck but that's more hormonal my face obviously and my back my back was a really big issue and kind of the main reason i went on accutane now i used to get a shit ton of like oh my god horrible cystic acne from the sunscreen i was using so I had to move to a sunscreen that was made for you know acne prone skin and I found the Neutrogena one is incredible I've been using it all summer I've had no issues with it I've had no issues with burning either um and my number one like sunscreen care recommendation that I

like 100% recommend is put it on your scalp no one ever thinks of their scalp ever unless you're wearing a hat make sure you're spraying like a little bit or putting a little bit into your hand and then just patting it into your scalp like not all over your head obviously only the parts that are being subjected to sunlight but i feel like that's the one part i always forget and then like it's just gross like you're gonna get blisters also you're probably gonna get a shit ton of dandruff because you're you're gonna burn you're gonna peel but it's gonna be in your hair yeah 10 out of 10 just put it on your scalp get a high SPF uh sunscreen and yeah go crazy okay here's my stitch I have been close friends with a girl for like nine years we literally grew

up together and these past couple of months we've grown distant because her boyfriend does not like me and I don't like him to be honest to be quite frank um and I'm very upset about it I'm really upset about it and I tried really hard to like you know keep being friends with her doing the most but recently I found out that she'd been posting about me on a TikTok account where she was talking shit about me on this TikTok account and they were mean like the videos were mean like they were so mean so my question is do you have any advice do I ever forgive her do I ever become friends with her again what's your take thank you girl I love the podcast keep doing you oh my gosh I I have been in this situation before and I feel you girly like down to the like oh my god how are they being

so mean about me when I thought they were my friends and when I've been putting time and energy and thoughts and you know trying to work it out as much as men get consumed by pussy women get consumed by dick and it's really sad it's something it's something that every single time you know i like especially in my relationship right now i am like i cannot get consumed by dick i need to focus on myself and still be myself and not lose myself and my boyfriend because that's happened to me in the past and it's not fun and i feel like i use years off my life lose years of my life what am I trying to say so it sounds like your friend is being consumed by dick and being consumed by mean girl energy and probably being consumed by things her boyfriend

is telling her or other friends or whoever when you are not there the best thing you can do like as soon as I found out that some of my closest friends were talking shit about me that you know they weren't really holding space for me to be myself they were making fun of me especially like on a tiktok account that's childish like what um you just need to completely cold tuck cold turkey and distance like completely you need to say your piece or else you will consistently and constantly think about it um i remember being like we need to have a roommate meeting and i was just like you guys have made my life a living hell i cannot do this anymore congratulations your bullying has worked i am now leaving i hope you guys have a great life period packed my shit

left like cold turkey bitch you got to put yourself first especially when you have tried you know you can have disagreements with someone's boyfriend and have it not be personal maybe she's just dating a shitty man and the bestest friends that you're gonna have are the once we're going to be honest about that like you don't want your friend to be dating a shitty man and you to just sit by and be like yeah okay uh-huh like giggle at his bad jokes like no we don't have time for that especially when we only have a hundred years to live okay you have to cold turkey i hate to say it some friendships can be repaired but the best thing that you can do and the best thing that helps a heart grow from oh my god a heart grow

fonder is distance okay speak your peace uh you guys hurt me this is horrible this is awful i don't think you this is like really sad of you guys to do um so sorry that you have to stoop to these mean girl levels in order to feel better about yourself but i don't need to be a part of it you can continue posting about me i don't care but i do not want to be in contact with you anymore period point blank some of them will realize um you know what they've done i after i said that one of my friends you know came to me and apologized and you know like really really made it clear that they were sorry and that it would never happen again and i mean you do have to be open and responsive to that they have to follow through with their promise they have to

actually apologize apologize um and then some of my other friends they just you know heard what i said and then never thought about me again which is totally fine that is their prerogative um but i do think you need to distance yourself from mean girls or else they will simply chew away at your spirit in order to heighten their egos okay mean girls are a real thing mean girls do exist is it all girls no thank god but they do exist and it sucks when you are close to them and when you think that they are somebody that they are not, all right? And the best thing you can do is just completely cold turkey, completely remove, speak your piece, and just disappear. Because if you stay and you keep playing their games and you stoop to their level, their ego will just keep

heightening. They will love the fight. They will absolutely die to fight over it, okay? And you do not have time to waste all of your energy fighting and just stooping to the mean girl level and trying to you know uh hurt them like it becomes a war of hurt at that point and it's gonna drain you it's gonna become tiring and nobody's gonna win so literally i know it sucks i'm so sorry that is really frustrating i've been there though um the best thing that i can really say is just you know give yourself that time and that peace that you do need uh remove those people from your life so you do not have contact with them anymore and focus on yourself but yeah i'm sorry that sucks i get it fucking mean girls are the worst and they're the worst to fucking deal with because

it's just like an ego competition for some reason like i don't know why it becomes this game of like well i'm better than you so i'm gonna put you down like i don't care i don't have time to put other people down and have it be this weird competition like i have time to focus on myself and uplift the people around me but that's like it that is it i used to play those games i used to get involved with those ego competitions but then i realized that nobody wins in the end and you just waste a lot of your time and a lot of your energy when you could just be focusing on yourself and distancing yourself from the people who are actually hurting you so i hate to say cold turkey but i think that's the best bet for you babe love you oh my god someone said can you

please interview your boyfriend on the pod oh should i should i i could i can are you interested let me know if so i might hold a little q a um that could be fun it also could be a hot mess he we've done videos together like tiktok videos together um in the past if you ever saw us dressed up in maid outfits yeah that was my doing i just know i would get a lot of people to simp and i would probably make a lot of money off that video in which i did i got like over a couple million views at least a million likes but i did put my boyfriend in a maid dress and ever since then um he's just been kind of like i'm not into social media because all of his friends were texting him like is this you like um did i just see you in a maid dress like should we talk about

this are you okay which is like you know we were just having fun um doing a little social experiment but after that he's kind of just like oh fuck what's hannah's idea what's going on do i have to put another maid dress on like what's happening but i think he'd be down to hop on the pod i really think so so if you're interested let me know um maybe send me a little dm and any questions you have and maybe i could work it out someone asked how can i stop negative self-talk i've done it my whole life and it's so hard to stop felt especially growing up in the kind of self-depreciating um meme era that was the 2010s um we found out that we can make other people laugh if we just put ourselves down. And then that kind of turns a young adolescent mind into constantly putting

yourself down for everything and anything. And I challenge you by saying, why would you spend all of your time hating on yourself when there is actually horrible, awful people and plenty of them that you could be hating on. Now, I'm not saying divert the hate. I'm just trying to put it into perspective for you. It's okay to be a hater. It's okay to have those feelings. But you hating on yourself is not uplifting you in any sort of way. It's not uplifting any other people in any sort of way. It is only bringing you down. So redirect. If you're in a hateful mood, don't redirect it to yourself. Redirect it to somebody else who's horrible. Get mad about that. Get angry about that get upset about that that's okay but when you are the bully of your own self that is not okay

all right and it's not benefiting anybody at all the best thing that i kind of do for myself especially when i find myself in that place where i am just constantly like talking down on myself and pushing myself down and like straight up being a bully is i will stop and i will literally be like i will ask myself this like out loud like what the fuck am i doing why am i doing this what is going on what is the root issue here all right and then a great thing that you can do to kind of combat that and like in the moment is do a little gratitude journal like not even journaling just bullet points gratitude for your life whatever's going on in your life do five things okay or five things about yourself but if you can't focus on yourself at that moment that's okay

just quick five things five positive things to help combat that and redirect that flow of energy and that flow of thoughts into something more productive okay it's a really quick easy kind of tool but literally some of us grew up with bullies and some of them were actually other people who bullied them on a daily basis and then some people grew up with bullies that were their mind and luckily there's something we can do about both all right the same way that you can distance yourself from a in real life bully you can redirect your brain become friends with your brain and kind of redirect those thought processes as well and build that relationship into something positive so the universe is really favoring me today i got good instagram photos this morning

i ordered a subway sandwich i know i was thinking about some subway sandwiches after the hangover part and i ordered one but holy shit a foot long sandwich is so much now also i don't think i could eat that much just for like a little lunch so i ordered a six inch and the door dasher got here and it was a foot long and i was like fuck this is the wrong sandwich like did he bring me the wrong one because i know i only ordered a six inch and i unrolled it and it said six inch and they made me a foot long for free that that is the universe telling me that i am deserving i love it shout out to the subway workers they pulled through today someone asked do you think losing your butterflies is a bad thing or is that where the real love starts i think this is a great

question and i think a lot of people fall out of love very very fast because they are not actually interested in the person standing in front of them they are interested in the fantasy of the person standing in front of them and when the butterflies fade and the real life you know comes in and those people they realize are actual real human beings who make mistakes and are just humans they don't like them anymore because they aren't that fantasy because we can't all live up to that fantasy it's just impossible quite honestly so yes i think that is where the true love starts of course we have to be able to get get along with each other you know in the beginning we have to be able to relate to each other in the beginning and have a great you know

connection but i agree the real love starts when the butterflies fade and they do fade they don't fade completely just real life sets in and the real you know aspects of humanity sets in and if you can look at a person and you can look at them with all their qualms with all their amazing qualities with um their honesty their truth their non-perfectionism and you can still love them then that is true love absolutely um but if you find yourself constantly getting into relationships that are only a few months long i think you're too focused on the fantasy and you're not actually looking at those people and who they are when they are in front of you um closely enough especially closely enough um and I have constantly been um like trying to do that

especially in my daily life like not even within dating because obviously I'm not dating anymore but like with friends and just people in front of me I look at them and I'm not trying to hold them to some certain standard or you know um like kind of dismiss them when they aren't this perfect person i look at them and i appreciate them for who they are and who they completely are for all their mistakes for all their passions for all the things that make them human and i accept them for who they are and that's kind of honestly all we can give each other is just removing these like preconceived notions and just allowing people to be and to be themselves like i said judgment free zone here the literally the most judgment free zone you are ever going to find is with the gemini

because i literally can see every single side of everything constantly at all times like i can be like truth but i disagree you know like it's the it's the aspect of constantly understanding where everybody's coming from at all points in time and i didn't realize my gemini-ness kind of really was that deep inside me until i was talking to my mom the other day and she was like yeah you were always the mediator like with the cousins if they were fighting you were always the one trying to figure it out with your friends you were always the one trying to you know work with everybody and try to figure it out and try and be the communicator and i was like wow i have been doing this since birth love that um i think it's a really strong uh quality of mine as well i feel

like i used to be very very hard-headed um especially in my teen years so i'm glad that i've kind of delved back into that childlike um wonder and that sense of awe and that sense of understanding especially from every perspective inside um but yeah you are never gonna be judged on this podcast. That is for fucking sure. Hey, girly. It's me again. This is a part two to the full moon period blood shenanigan. So today I emptied my menstrual cup into plant numero dos. And for some reason, I decided to leave it in my fucking living room. I left it out for like two hours next thing i know that bitch is covered in ants so foul i don't really i would not recommend this to anyone don't do this i really thought i was giving like witchy slay

like girl boss one with your divine feminine type beat because like i'm a capricorn news capricorn full moon anyways oh my god it turned red the numbers are red anywho don't do this and sorry for oversharing bye okay i love this because this is something that i would do too like you know the witchy vibes are there i'm gonna you know make myself one with the earth and you know all that shit which you know does work in in theory it does work um unfortunately the ants thought different that is that is so fucking funny i've never worked with my period blood before tbh but i did on the full moon write down like things that i wanted to release and i planted it in my planted pot so i love that we are both working with plants on that on that day

but now we have the new moon to look forward to i'm very excited for that someone asked random Um, but are you a cat or a dog person? Cat, 1000% cat, cats all the way. I grew up with dogs. Um, I constantly grew up with dogs. I actually had one dog that I really knew of, um, that I grew up with and he was great. His name was Rogue. He was a retired racing greyhound. Um, really great, really wonderful dog especially really great family dog um but he passed away and then i was like 13 and it was my choice to pick the next animal because i was um my brother was off at college and i was home alone so my parents were like you could you know if you want a pet that's fine and i picked my cats and i never thought i'd be a cat person my parents were kind of really

against me getting a cat just because all we had really known was dogs um but i love cats they're so simple they're so easy you can bond with them kind of better i believe because well at least for my bonding style like i don't need to be the master i don't need that i don't i don't like training i don't like you know being annoyed 24 7 i don't like clinginess and if you do valid but you would absolutely be a dog person for me personally i love my cat he will go off and do his own thing for hours and just disappear and then he'll like come find me when he's ready to like hang out you know or like um he'll get cuddly at night but that's it which i love um he'll play with himself well of course i play with him um he i don't have to take

him out to go to the bathroom he's very independent he's very moody which i love like you have to be able to read emotions of an animal especially with a cat or else they will claw your fucking eyes out like you need to understand what mood they're in i love cats absolutely a few of you guys have been asking me about tea breaks as well oh i'm afraid of taking a tea break i'm afraid of starting i don't know what to do listen it is very easy i was on one for like a month uh last week maybe or a month last week what the fuck am i saying i was on a tea break for about a month um like a month ago two months ago and it was the easiest tea break that i've ever had i can't lie and if i can do it the smoke mother herself if i can do it you can do it as well okay here are my

tips really you just gotta cold turkey it um you just gotta get rid of weed you smoke that last bowl make sure there's none around you that you can kind of get back into and then you need to stay busy i think that's the biggest kind of um advice that i can give you guys is stay busy like until the end of the fucking day and i love that i work late nights because like i will go to work and then i will get home at like 11 o'clock at night and i will be too exhausted to even think about weed okay i will be like i just need to go the fuck to bed like there's no smoking there's no time to smoke i need to go to bed when you wake up in the morning when you're used to i'm tapping out this bowl sorry me talking about a tea break while i'm loading a bowl um when you're

used to smoking in the morning get up go outside go for a walk go try something new go get some good coffee go stimulate with something else and then also a big fan i'm a huge fan and you guys all know literally the only people that i promote because i just love them so much is paz packs paz packs has changed my smoking habit has changed how i smoke has changed how i interacted with weed and i love them um they are incredible they have been some supporting me since i was at like 800 followers on instagram they have been supporting me and believing in me since the beginning and i'm so excited that we get to work together especially in this podcast i think it's so cool and listen i'm not going to recommend you guys anything that i don't actually

enjoy um my tea break was really saved because in those moments where i wanted to smoke or i wanted to roll up um i just ground up a little bit of their cbd flour and i just threw it in a bowl and i smoked why deny myself um that kind of enjoyment or that kind of enrichment when i can just supplement with something that is maybe a little bit more beneficial it's not going to give you that high it's not going to give you that crazy um you know i mean that high but it is going to make you relax it is going to make you calm it is going to make you feel at least some sort of way that is i would say honestly more beneficial than weed and even as i have gotten back into smoking i have been um incorporating a lot of cbd mixed in with my weed i think it

helps with my anxiety i think it helps with my focus um and also it tastes just really yummy um if you are a fan of cbd or even if you want to try some out i really recommend paz packs they're the only company that i trust when it comes to cbd i feel like a lot of people who do sell cbd it's kind of like not good quality like i hate to say it but it's not good quality cb or paz packs has never given me anything that wasn't good quality it has all been 10 out of 10 incredible edible and i as i'm grounding it up like i can smell it it is like so crystallized it is beautiful flower um they also have like cbd carts they have pre-rolls which are really cute and fun to give like your girlies um for like birthday gifts or even just to treat yourself a little bit they have

gummies which like when i get my iud i'm going to eat at least a whole bag of gummies just kidding I don't recommend that but at least a fucking few because it does make a huge difference in the way that I am processing things when I'm high but also it kind of gives you the benefits of a high without getting that kind of crazy psychoactive feeling that relax that calm body feeling that relax like um you know anti-anxiety mindset that is what CBD gives you so if you ever want to try any past packs i really recommend it you can use code smoke sesh for 20 off i believe um or is it 10 either way code smoke sesh get on it um and yeah let's smoke this bowl together i've mixed a little bit of my past packs with some weed um and let's have a good day

oh yeah actually let's hit it again this is so good oh yes that is just what i needed code smoke sash 10 off love you someone asked did you ever struggle with wanting to drop out of school um yes now in high school i never wanted to drop out because i wanted to achieve that you know diploma I think that's very important high school is the easiest thing you're ever going to get through I hate to say it because I know how like how much of a struggle high school can be especially when you're there but then once you are out of high school you realize the world is a lot bigger than you and a lot bigger than your high school and is a lot more stressful which is okay you

learn to deal with it you just take the steps necessary I think if you're in high school the best thing i can say is don't sweat it so much um enjoy your time as a kid enjoy your time in your classes it's okay to get a b a c every once in a while do what you can ask your teachers for help ask your friends for help um that's really all i can recommend for high school like i get it it's hard i understand i was there fighting for my life trying to get scholarships um but college is way harder and speaking of drop out i've dropped out twice from college twice twice twice twice i've dropped out twice um now the first time was in i went to a private catholic school creighton university do not recommend i went there for nursing for their

expedited nursing program um they had a four-year nursing program which is very hard to find usually it's five years um I made it in I was doing well kind of um I was working hard I just unfortunately realized that it was not for me and I think I had known that and I had intentionally gone against my gut because on the way there to my school three hours away I was crying to my dad about how this isn't right I don't want to do this this doesn't feel right i feel like i should be doing art i i feel like i'm like giving in and at that point we had gotten too far he had already paid for my first semester like money down the fucking drain and he was just like you just got to follow through you made this decision you got to follow

through which like he's not wrong at the time it felt very harsh it felt like he wasn't on my side but he wasn't wrong like in reality he's right i did make my bed now i need to lay in it I need to try at least. And I tried, I did. Um, upon the second year, I realized that was absolutely not what I wanted to do, that I was going to be miserable, that I was miserable and that the school was a hell hole and I needed to escape ASAP. Okay. There were times where I would be walking out of my dorm and there would be an actual funeral happening, happening outside of my dorm because it was right next to the Catholic church. Like it was just too much. I was like, oh my god i need to leave so i dropped out um i think that was a shock to my parents

i think it was a shock to me as well i think it was a shock to everybody um because i was doing so well and because you know oh my god hannah's living up to all these expectations oh my god she's doing great perfect bragging rights for all the family right all of a sudden the bragging rights are gone and it's just me and it's pretty raw it's it's just me at my rawest and so I knew at that point I wanted to continue schooling and I wanted to go to art school so that's what I worked towards I took a year off college and I just worked and worked and worked built up my portfolio submitted to art school and I got accepted into the Kansas City Art Institute which was great I have no qualms with the Kansas City Art Institute I think it was incredible I think

it was wonderful I think it was the teachers I had were inspiring the things that I learned I will take away forever I wish I had gone for more years I cannot lie um but the pandemic happened and the the next year the second year that I was going into they were still trying to have us do schooling an art school but have it be online and I was really struggling with that because the year previously I was the one of the only people in my class to receive an A and it was because I was in studio for eight hours a day I was there I was present I was working hard and I really enjoyed being present I really loved the classroom environment and getting to connect with these other artists and connect with the teachers and all of a sudden all the things that I really

loved about school were quickly removed and at that point I had asked myself is it is am I just doing this for a degree or am I doing this to learn something because I very obviously right now am not learning anything and it feels like a huge waste especially with how much money I'm dumping into it um and so I had to make the hard decision and I had to drop out of art school I had to remove myself from art school because I simply was not learning anything the online objectives that they had given us were just not good they assumed that we could do things on our own and i couldn't i needed to be in person to learn i needed to be in person to grasp things conceptually i needed that studio space to work and they weren't able to offer that to us anymore

because of covid and to be fair they were taking valid um important steps to make sure the kids were protected especially from a disease that we had no idea about but I also had to think about the money that I was putting into it and what I was getting out of it and to be fair I was getting nothing out of it so I removed myself from art school do I think I'll ever go back maybe I do I think some colleges are good and I think some schools are bad I it's all about taking the time to look at the schools and ask yourself will I fit in here will I enjoy it will I enjoy walking down the campus will I enjoy studying in this library will I enjoy my quality of life here as well as the classes I'm taking because those two go hand in hand if your quality of life is bad

then the classes you're taking are probably not going to be super great the classes you're taking are not great, your quality of life is going to be bad. So you have to make sure you are going to a place that you can A, envision yourself thriving in physically and also academically. And I think I found that at the Art Institute. I can't lie, which is why I'm like, you know, maybe I will go back. But I also realized that school is all about making connections and college is all about making connections that degree you are getting is worth nothing if you are not making connections within the real world and i realized that i was able to do that on my own without schooling i didn't need to can talk to these professors to make connections and to get internships i could do that on my own

and i could work my way up in the world on my own now that's not possible with every single degree or every single way of life yes you do need some schooling you do need some degree for some stuff but for the art world especially and what I was focused on I realized I could do it a lot do a lot of it on my own and so that's what I dove into and now my biggest issue is especially with dropping out is I think a lot of people drop out and they lose track and they lose sight of goals because you know you go to school and they have the goals set for you literally you can look at every single thing you need to accomplish for the next four years you have four years figured out um and once you remove those four years and you remove those goals and you remove the

professionals that are supposed to guide you and it's just you in the world alone unsure of what to do you get a little lost and you get a little confused and the world becomes very confusing especially if you don't set goals for yourself so i spent about a year just nannying and not being in school and saying oh i'm gonna work towards all these things but not doing it and not setting these goals and assuming that they're gonna get done the same way they would in class but they're not because i'm not actually achieving anything so i think a big switch that i've had to do this year especially um was realizing that i kind of have to be my own teacher and i kind of have to be my own parent if i am not in school i need to be achieving something outside of school

that's why i push you need to have a thesis you need to have something you're working on especially if you're a creative individual you need to have something that's driving you that you're passionate about um and it takes a while to find and it's okay to like like and i talk about theses like this you know when you get on youtube or when you used to get on youtube or whatever social media platform that you enjoy and you go on this like weird rabbit hole of like information and you watch one video and it inspires you to watch this next one and then you look up this article and then you look at this thing that is a thesis okay those things that drive you that thing that is inspiring that thing that is pushing you that is driving you that pushes you down the rabbit hole

those are the things you need to hold on to and those are the things you need to really really start focusing on and um losing yourself a little bit in because those are the things that make life kind of worth living and makes me a little bit more passionate about life um and i didn't start practicing that until this year and i can't lie i have gotten more done in six months than i have in the two years that i was out of college simply because i needed to switch my mindset and I needed to fucking grab life by the balls and say you're my bitch now and we are going to do what I say and we are going to work hard and yeah you're going to be tired you're going to be exhausted you are going to have those sleepless nights you are going to you know

cry sometimes you are going to get frustrated you are going to get upset you are going to get these ways and that doesn't mean that things aren't going your way that doesn't mean that you aren't working hard it means you are working hard and you are you know working your way through that maze of trying to figure it out and getting frustrated with it all of those are normal human reactions it's okay to feel those ways but as long as you are just working forward and working ahead and achieving those things and crossing things off your to-do list and turning in those assignments whatever they are to yourself um and those big projects and rounding out your theses and finding new things to be passionate about that is when life starts moving okay i think a lot of people

drop out and life is at a standstill and i got very scared for a second because i realized holy shit my life has been on a standstill for a few few years now like sure i'm getting a few things done but it's not enough it absolutely is not enough in the grand scheme of things like I would look back on how much work I would do in college in the span of a semester like four months five months whatever a semester is and I was accomplishing maybe half of that in the span of two years and that simply was not enough I needed to find that passion again I needed to find that drive again and I couldn't find it in academic validation anymore so I needed to find it within myself and i needed to coach myself and encourage myself and support myself through it you know

um but yeah i think it's very normal to find yourself in a rut especially if you drop out of college which is why i do not recommend it um i definitely should have um obviously you know things were out of my control i probably would be finished with school by now um at the art institute if i would have stayed if the pandemic would have happened but shit happens i'm not going to look back on the past and dwell on it I'm just going to do what I can with where I am and work forward if you find yourself in a place where you were like I do want to drop out or I do want to switch like passions or careers I think it's important to you know take listen to that gut feeling and do so it's very easy to transfer schools it is very easy to switch your like

degree it's very easy to have like sub degrees as well um i mean i switched from one college to to another and it was a very easy transition i did have to completely start over so i say if it's something you're interested in look into all your options um you don't have to completely start over you can transfer credits you can work on something else at a different place um you can make the world work out for you i just say do some research and have that belief in yourself in order to do so but yep local bitch decides to daydream instead of getting a college degree that is me i cannot lie um yeah my parents lost their shit lost their fucking shit i feel really bad for them but also i must make mistakes and i must disappoint in order to kind of figure out

my way in this world i think college is really important i think it's a really special thing i feel really grateful to have had the experiences that i did have at college um but you know it just wasn't built for me unfortunately and i had to forge my own path within the world outside of it which i think we all can do you just have to ask yourself and can i do it and am i willing to someone asks how to get your ex to absolutely fuck off when he doesn't get the hint also love you great question tell him you are filing a police report if he texts you again and then go online and google um uh restraining order uh google restraining order paperwork and then go to google images and then screenshot it um and then crop it so it looks like you've taken

a photo of it and then send that to him too so he really gets the memo and then uh make sure you're having them blocked on everything make sure it's impossible for them to reach you people be like why is he still hitting my line why is he still hitting me up when you literally have his name saved in your phone you are constantly talking to them on different social medias you're constantly stalking each other in different social medias like do you really want him gone or do you want the chase sometimes you just got a completely cold turkey if he's weird and he's calling you from different phone numbers after you've blocked him and trying to hit you up through different ways after you've blocked him on everything that's weird that's odd tell him you will get people

involved if it's necessary anyways another question thoughts on plastic surgery um so when i was younger i used to want a lot of plastic surgery a nose job was all i could think about that is it and if you've seen my nose i have a cute little nose is she is she a little ski bunny ski slope nose no i don't have a perfect fucking nose i've broken it like three times like she is a little crooked she's a little big but i love her um but like i said when i was younger plastic surgery was all i could think about because all i wanted to do was leave myself and leave my body now that i have kind of repaired that relationship with myself and worked on myself a little bit and learn to love myself for who i am i am kind of terrified of plastic surgery

simply because i am terrified of looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself that seems so scary i could not imagine um do i think lip fillers and like little botox and stuff like that is really going to do that to you no i don't think it's going to make a huge drastic change and also most of them wear off within a certain amount of time um would i get any of those things have i gotten any of those things uh no i don't see a need to especially right now in my life i also don't have the fucking money to throw away hundreds of fucking dollars on botox and lip filler when i can just wake up and put on moisturizer and be chill with myself uh maybe one day when i'm rich sure you know what i'll try it out do a little experiment but will i

ever get like a bbl or or like breast implants or a nose job or a brow lift or anything invasive and like physically altering no never simply because no one ever talks about the suicide rates of people after they get plastic surgery i feel like a lot of people get plastic surgery because you know they are maybe unhappy with certain features they are given um and then they realize that those features that they are given really make them who they are and they look in the mirror and they wake up and they are no longer able to like recognize themselves and identify themselves and it doesn't actually fix the underlying issues that are happening in your brain fixing your outside qualities are not going to fix the inside qualities as well you have to probably work on

both okay or at least the inside um and i think no one ever talks about the women that are lost to uh plastic surgery and suicide after plastic surgery and it's a very real thing um like i said i grew up you grow into your features if you're a teenager and you're having anxiety about how you look or things going on i wish i could just talk to 16 year old hannah and be like listen you have crazy fucking acne because you are going through so many different hormonal changes i'm sorry it sucks i get it you will get through it and it'll go away uh you will grow into your nose you'll put on some weight and you won't be as bony and you'll grow into your features you'll have titties eventually and an ass like i guarantee you you are still a child you are still growing and you need

time to process those things and have your body develop it's not gonna happen overnight it's not going to happen in a year it's not going to happen in three years okay you got to give yourself time to grow and change and mature all right and you will realize that usually things work out how they are supposed to be i could not imagine getting a nose job right now simply because i think my nose really says a lot about me and it really is a key feature and it was a key feature that i used to hate and i think that's just because i had a lot of negative self-talk going on about everything and of course you know hyper focusing on one point is not helpful um but now that my inward kind of um conversation has switched to something positive i love my nose and i think it's something

incredible and i think it really just defines who i am and is like a key feature of me and instead of having that negative self-talk i have a lot of positive self-talk which has really helped how i view myself um and now i could not see myself any other way so i think the really invasive plastic surgeries have a lot of harmful tendencies that we simply aren't talking about because plastic surgery gets brought up and people are like well i'm doing it for me so why are you upset and it's like well i'm not upset but let's think about this let's talk about this and let's really look at the deeper underlying issues here that are going on um because i feel like how you view yourself does change um and also you grow into yourself a little bit and you have to allow time

to do so so i love you all i'm not hating on you if you have had plastic surgery um literally do whatever the fuck you want with your body whenever you want these are all viable options i just also think we should be looking at every sort of possibility here and from my own personal experience and from how i know i would react no i don't think i'm really gonna ever get any invasive plastic surgery just because i would hate to wake up one day and look at myself in the mirror and not recognize who i am i feel like that would fuck up my reality a lot um and i already have a lot of issues that i deal with and i don't need to add to the pile so yeah that is all i can think on that someone asked for my makeup routine i'm gonna do a video on this

but i don't wear a lot of makeup um i used to be a fake lash girly like i used to love fake lashes like the first thing i did when i woke up in the morning was glue on some lashes to my fucking face then i realized oh my god i have now ripped out all of my eyelashes all of my beautiful long eyelashes um from the glue and my eyes are getting styes and this is not working um so i have completely switched to the easy route i use let me tell you this mascara because it will change your life um this girl i used to work with who was incredible beautiful wonderful um she always had the longest luxurious um eyelashes ever and i was like bitch what the fuck are you wearing like let me tell you and I guarantee this will also help make your eyelashes grow fuck a serum

fuck whatever you're using this is all you need it's the Maybelline New York Lash Sensational Full Fan Effect okay it has like little microfibers in it so it helps elongate your lashes and also it's not gonna fucking destroy your lashes like a lash strip would but all I do is i use a bb cream which i think i'm gonna switch to like just a light concealer which i usually use but all i have is bb cream right now and i don't use that all over my face because i have freckles and i kind of like my freckles so i'll use it under my eyes um at the base of my nose like the quarters of my nose and on my chin that's it anywhere that i have darkness or red spots i'll use a little bit of concealer on i never do a full face i never do a full thing of foundation

because i feel like it clogs my pores and i hate that like oily feeling for some reason so i just spot treat and then i um just do a quick little winged eyeliner like i've been doing since i was fucking 12 and i discovered taylor swift and um the lash sensational and that's it like very simple i am a simple makeup girly i wish i could do like a two hour long beat down because some girls come into my restaurants and they have the most perfect like incredible like foundation routines like blended to perfection like incredible glitter work and I'm like wow love that wish I could do that unfortunately I can't but I would love to you know pay someone that doesn't know how to do it to do it unfortunately I don't know how to do

that so i'm gonna work with what i got and i personally love just a very simple easy like five minute makeup routine i have been loving that since i was like in high school and the most i'll do is like throw on a crazy color of eyeshadow or like a fun lip that's about it and i always put on vaseline on my lips that's the best thing you can ever do for your lips is vaseline someone asked how do you romanticize the small parts of your life in your day-to-day life um literally i'll look at a good flower and i'll be like love love is real and that's it that's all i need sometimes all you need in life is just the little things that bring you joy and the little things that bring you happiness um and they're not going to always be the same thing every single day

which is why i think it's important to um get out of your house and go on walks and change up your environment a little bit um the world is bigger than your 600 foot apartment or your 600 foot room um and you need to escape a little bit and switch up your environment um and experience the world around you i think that's very important um because i constantly find new joys and new perspectives and new enjoyment when i am um seeking out new experiences for myself but like you know what i ate a good sandwich for lunch i had some good sex this morning and i'm gonna go lay in the sun this afternoon and that's really all I could ask for like I'm not you know waking up and going to a photo shoot and then you know hopping on a plane and flying to this place and

spending $600 at this store and then doing all this because I don't need all that nor can I afford all that so let me work with what I got let me enjoy what I have let me you know not give into that kind of fast-paced, die-hard lifestyle. Let me, you know, put on a bikini I like. Let me go lay in the sun like a lizard. Let me journal a little bit and think about what I'm grateful for. And let me just, you know, enjoy the small things. That's all you could really ask for. And I feel like if you're having a hard time enjoying the small things, for me personally, something that I kind of had to force myself to do, but also not force myself to do, something that I've kind of also just had an eye for, is just taking photos. I know, and not

of yourself, it could be of anything. Oh my god, this blade of grass is cute, let me take a photo of it. Oh, the way the sunlight is hitting this tree right now, let me take a photo of it. Oh, I love this stack of books let me take a photo of it oh i love the way my feet hit the water right here let me take a photo of it um i love the way like anything anything take a photo of it snap a cute photo do you know how many fucking things you can fit in your camera roll so many things too many things i have like 45 000 photos on my camera roll and if you actively go out of your way to to kind of capture these moments in something that we are so encaptured in such as our phone then we also have the moments that well we have the moments stored and we can go back and we can

look back at our day and look back at all the little things that brought us joy over that day over that week over that month-long period i kind of use my instagram story as a tool for this as well so whenever you're like oh hannah's spam posting it's just because i'm finding so many little things that are bringing me joy and I really enjoy sharing those with you guys as well um and also having them as something to look back on and um kind of a place to you know look back on the times and the things that were bringing me joy because half the things that I post photos of are not like oh look at my four thousand dollar purchase look at my plane flight look at uh this bragging right or this bragging right no it's like oh my god I love this tree and I want to share it

with you oh my god i love this outfit that i put together of thrifted items i want to show it to you oh i love this color scheme i want to show it to you sometimes like trash is pretty i'm like yeah i'll take a picture of that it's really just romanticizing your life and your everyday life and the silly little things that are going on around it but also you need to expand your life and expand where you are going and you know try new things and get out of your comfort zone a little bit um because you'd be surprised what you find and you'd be surprised the curiosity that it installs within you um like i remember when my co-worker was telling me about this river that he went swimming in and it was awesome and he got to be lost in the woods for a little bit

and i was like oh that sounds interesting you know i never go to the woods but um and i have never been to a river uh that sounds interesting period and then one day i was like i'm bored why don't i try this out and you know i got my head a little bit and i got a little nervous and i was like well i shouldn't go to the woods by myself i shouldn't do this by myself like that's a little dangerous then i was like fuck it i have nothing else to do if i stay in this house any longer i am going to lose all my marbles my marbles are going to hit the floor and they're gonna shatter so i text my co-worker hey where'd you go where do i park what the fuck's going on he told me where to go i packed up my shit i put on a bikini put on some uh water shoes

that i can run around the water in i didn't have any expectations and now this is one of my favorite places to ever go and i go at least once a week so it is all about getting out there finding new things finding new things to inspire you during the pandemic when i was living with my parents and i literally could not could not escape i would just be like okay i'm waking up i'm getting in my car i'm going to duncan i'm getting myself a cheap ass iced coffee because i cannot afford anything else and then i'm going to the free park down the road and i'm going to sit in my car or i'm going to sit on a bench and i'm maybe going to facetime a friend or i'm just going to journal and just sit and people watch that's it it is all about the little things that you can do for yourself to

better your everyday life no we can't all be jetting across the fucking country no we can't all be in italy right now no we can't all afford a thousand dollars worth of clothes no we can't all be partying with famous celebrities right now but you know what we can do we can look at our everyday lives and things that we are doing every day and we can find inspiration and we can find joy within them because just because we are living different lives than other people doesn't mean we aren't deserving of joy as well okay and if you don't believe you aren't deserving of joy that it's simply not going to come and you have to just take those small steps forward in order to achieve them and listen if i can do it i fucking live in kansas city missouri like kansas city missouri

i don't live in new york i don't live in la i don't have this big crazy fucking life that i'm living i'm just living my little life my little hannah marlene life and i'm finding joy and i'm finding adventure wherever i can in any way possible because what is the point of waiting around and and waiting for this perfect lifestyle to come and to enjoy it to enjoy your life then if you can't even enjoy your life now because the thing is when that lifestyle comes you probably still won't enjoy your life because you don't enjoy the small things and the small things are what makes life worth living period point blank anyways i love you guys thank you for joining me on this wonderful tuesday i need to throw a bikini on and i need to pack a bag and i need to finish

my subway sandwich and i need to lay in the sun and then i need to make myself a good dinner that's all i really have to look forward to and i really can't fucking wait it's gonna be a good day it's sunny out it's hot the the sun is calling for me i make sure you sunscreen up if you're going in the sun once again but i'm gonna get this podcast out to you guys so you guys can have a good tuesday and once again if you have any confessionals or any dms at all please feel free to submit them to my instagram at hannah marlene and i will see you on thursday