Smoke Sesh - rejection, spirituality, tattoos & playing the game of life (video episode)

Episode Date: January 10, 2024

Hello hotties of the world and happy (Wednesday) so sorry this episode was uploaded a little late I was running into some technical issues, but I love you all so much for being extra patient while I got those sorted. Today is an extra long episode for you guys as we chat what ive been up to, the Capricorn new moon, my new tattoos, and celebrating a little snow day. We jump right in to all your questions such as how to survive the last semester of the school year, and most importantly should I drop out? We talk surviving the winter, tattoos (the good and the bad), how to survive at the bars for those turning 21, how to celebrate Capricorn season and persevere through this new year, how to focus on yourself and not settle, onlyfans in relationships, creative block and working through it, rejection is just redirection, living a carefree life and learning to play the game of life, spirituality and tips for beginners, when to ask for help and my experience with medication plus much much much much more. Thank you all for being here and being you I really appreciate all the love shown for the video episode, if you want to follow what I'm up to check out my instagram @hannahmarlene , see you all next week (and on time this time, I promise) MUAH! https://www.patreon.com/smokeseshshawty

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the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hotties of the world welcome back to another fantastic episode of smoke sesh i'm so excited to be back with you guys hanging out chit-chatting you know our usual but this time face to face which is so fun i've been having a blast recording editing uploading thank you to everybody who watched the last video episode. I was not expecting that many of you guys to hop on YouTube, hop on Spotify, and watch it, but I'm really thankful for you all for showing up and hanging out with me every Tuesday, and I'm so excited to see where this podcast takes us

and to show you all the fun things I have in store. I didn't realize video editing would be so hard, but it's a new fun thing I'm trying to figure out, so I'm really hoping to have like a bunch of youtube videos podcast videos up for you guys soon and once again i'm trying to derot my brain and what tiktok has done to it and my very very short goldfish attention span really trying to fix that and i feel like the best way to fix that is to just make my own long form content because what's better than that if i'm being honest anyways today's a very comfy cozy day really won't be doing much considering winter decided to start last night for some reason we're two months in you know girl i have been ready but for some reason it decided to snow

12 inches last night and you know it is gorgeous beautiful everything's kind of shut down i doubt anybody's really at work today um dangerous they made me come into work last night and i was like girl there is a winter weather advisory going on right now why are you making me work right now also who is going out to eat right now and you're insane why are you leaving your house willingly during a blizzard to go eat food go to the grocery store buy groceries because you're going to be inside your house for the next three days and you won't be able to leave those people would not apocalypse if i'm being honest they would not last a minute anyways enough complaining it is beautiful and gorgeous out we have so much snow cute little icicles hanging off my balcony i'm

looking at it right now and yeah it's just a great energy today very much so chill snow day let's cuddle up watch a movie hang out just do all your favorite things i love a snow day um anyways we're back another episode um don't we love the hot pink rhinestone microphone for viewers or listeners at home maybe not viewing i it looks like i'm holding a giant vibrator in my hand if i'm being honest this microphone i got like a pink cover and then pink rhinestones it looks like my vibrator if i'm being honest looks like i'm talking into a giant vibrator so sorry about that I had a sitting out the other day when my friends came over and they were like girl put that away I was like no that's literally my microphone

I like I promise I'm not this is not a euphemism like it's literally my microphone anyways isn't she gorgeous I love that last episode I was like hmm I want it pink boom here we are hot pink adorable anyways I haven't really been up to much other than like working doing this trying to put out more content for you guys getting my place back in order and organizing my life a little bit with this new year's this Capricorn moon coming up we have a Capricorn new moon on Thursday so if you feel like you've been like in go mode like let's get shit done as a fellow Capricorn moon lean into that energy the more you lean into that energy the better the better your results will be especially with this week coming up

um feed into that energy okay allow yourself to work hard the payoff will be so worth it um especially after thursday's capricorn new moon i will be talking more about that on the patreon so if you are interested follow me there i believe it's at hannah marlene my youtube is also at hannah marlene um if you do if you guys didn't know where to find me i'm gonna hopefully put the links in the bio of this video so stay tuned anyways yeah i haven't been up to much just organizing my life working hard oh and i got a new tattoo on sunday what day is it tuesday two days ago love i didn't realize i haven't had a tattoo since 2019 2020 it's been a long time i didn't realize until she was like how do you take care of your tattoos and i was like um i don't and then she had a

really scared face on her face she was a little nervous for me um but yeah i haven't had one in a while and i've been thinking about getting a new one for like years so i'm glad that my friend texted me it was like hey girl let's go get some i want one and i was like yeah why the fuck not who am I to say no who am I to say no I know I've wanted one for years now they don't hurt as much as you think they do it took five minutes it looks fantastic basically healed we're two days in she's doing great um and yeah overall 10 out of 10 experience the artist was fantastic had a great time with my girls hanging out in the tattoo shop we went and got sushi after then I came home ate an edible went to bed fantastic sunday ideal sunday if i'm being honest anyways that's enough

to catch you guys up on i know why you're here i know you want to dive into all your deepest darkest secrets and questions i know you have so much on your mind this episode i am going to try and include the call-ins as well i didn't include those last week because i couldn't figure out how to do it listen learning curve I'm still figuring out how to do all this but this week I am going to try to include those which is exciting anyways let's jump right in someone said first week back at school yeah I think the people in my area were supposed to go back to school today um and then with the snow it got called off so I'm sure they are living their best lives right now but the back to school transition is hard especially after winter break where you're like what do you mean

i have to finish the school year it feels like i've already done a full year what do you mean i have to finish it but the second semester is always the easiest it goes by the fastest you have a bunch of breaks um because the first semester you only have what like thanksgiving break maybe like a couple monday holidays but the second semester there's so many monday holidays um so you get a bunch of long weekends and then you'll get like um a spring break which will be a very fun long week break off you know what i'm saying um i think this must second semester is way easier i feel like second semester teachers professors whoever they are are way easier to deal with and a little bit more understanding than first semester teachers and professors

so i just say take look back at the last semester and ask yourself like oh shit what the fuck did i do wrong what you know what behaviors what i need to change what can i include to better this next semester and then try and stick to it as much as you can within the first couple weeks um i feel like those first couple weeks kind of make or break how the rest of your semester is gonna go so you know stay on track try and challenge yourself read the required reading do your assignments okay study for your exams if you practice that now as hard as it is um it will make the rest of the semester so much easier um instead of having to play catch up later on just get on board right now girl okay just start working hard now but yeah second

semester is always the easiest semester um so look forward to that and then it's summer oh my god then it's summer break I cannot wait especially looking at all the snow I miss summer and spring so much so much I need to live somewhere that it's 70 degrees and sunny all the time although I think it might make me a little weak I think winter makes me a stronger person if I'm being honest anyways i'm 22 on wednesday thoughts on embodying capricorn season oh to my fellow capricorns out there oh i'm not a fellow capricorn i'm a capricorn moon so i do feel you guys very much so especially when i'm sitting alone at home thinking what the fuck do

i need to be doing right now what do i need to be working on how am i gonna make money blah blah blah, blah, blah. That's literally a Capricorn brain. It's like, what the fuck do I need to do in order to elevate myself to the next level? And I feel like that's why Capricorn season is perfect for post, you know, New Year's Eve energy. New Year's energy is very much so like a go-getting season. What do you want? What do you want to embody? Who do you want to be? What do you want to bring into your life? Go after it. The only person who's going to change your life is you. the only person who's going to actually like make a difference in your life is you the only person who's going to get up and do those things that you want to happen is you so moral of the story

get shit done stay hard working embody those capricorn characteristics be hard-headed a little bit but not so hard-headed that you remove yourself from the world okay you got to be hard-headed in the aspect of like i know what i want i deserve and i'm really not going to accept less um not a i hate everybody and everybody around me and myself kind of way because i feel like that's the downfall of a capricorn so this is my kapali incense it's like my favorite it's the best smell in the world we're gonna set some vibes and energy for this podcast if you need a little vibe cleanse here it is my girls love you i also rolled a little joint i feel like that'll be fun to smoke on here you guys were like she's not smoking correctly on the last one girl i'm

here smoking a joint to myself do not judge me at my own smoke slash you're judging me let me enjoy my joint in peace i got my sparkling orange lacroix my water we are set for a good experience i guess speaking of birthdays someone said tips for turning 21 and surviving bars slash clubs um have good friends with you i feel like good friends being with you don't go alone first of all don't go alone don't go alone anywhere please especially not to a bar or a club i mean i have but also like make sure you have someone there to keep you safe that's the most important thing um or have somebody that you can go back to and hang out with um if plans go awry you know what i mean um but yeah make sure you have a good group of friends girlfriends who when

you go out with you know you're gonna have a good time and that you know they're gonna prioritize your safety i hate a girl who loves to go out and party and then like will ditch you for a weird ass dude that shit is the most infuriating thing ever like you're putting both of us in danger at this point you gotta make sure your friends are prioritizing not only your safety but their safety as well if you're going to a club make sure you have a good pair of like club heels heels that you can wear and not have your toes fall off in um and if you're going to bars make sure you have a good pair of tennis shoes that you can literally ruin and you will never wear again because trust me as soon as you step foot in that bar with those tennis shoes on you will not want

to wear them anywhere else they're going to get destroyed and that's just part of the bar club experience unfortunately um i've seen many girls lose their wallets phone keys blah blah blah whatever it may be because they're drunk and you know their bag slips off their shoulder or they lose their tiny little wallet i think having a bar like um bag or wallet or anything of the sort is very important something that you can keep it's gonna like stay on your body it's not gonna want to fall off your shoulder or it's not going to um disappear off your body in some sort of way i love like my little um louis vuitton backpack my little backpack perfect little outing outing bag because it's over both shoulders like that shit ain't coming off my body um and make sure

you're taking out like minimal minimal things not a lot of cash because you're going to spend all that cash girl math is cash is not real cash is not real money so i'm just going to spend as much as I can a little bit of cash if you have it like a debit card a id a lip gloss that's all you need don't bring anything important out with you because you're probably gonna lose it don't wear that like really fancy designer shirt that you've been dying to wear to the bar the club please wear it to like a nice restaurant um because it's going to get destroyed I promise you stay safe have fun make good friends don't lose your shit um yeah period also drink wise every time someone orders a lemon drop shot for me or a lemon drop martini from me as a bartender i get enraged i'm tired of

the lemon drops i'm canceling lemon drops dare i say because i know the girls love a lemon drop but please orders like two ingredient cocktails that's what you want two ingredient cocktails that don't need to be shaken ideally vodka soda tequila soda that is your best bet if i'm being honest if you don't want to be super hungover in the morning and you want something pretty easy but not too easy to sip on you need a two ingredient cocktail and you need it to be like something with soda water because water okay you're dehydrated your brain is dying you need water in your system soda water and your preference of alcohol maybe like a diet coke and rum maybe a whiskey diet coke maybe a vodka sprite maybe a cranberry vodka i don't care two ingredients simple easy if you're

ordering a shot you can ask them to shake it to chill it whatever alcohol you're ordering like a tequila shot you can be like can you chill it for me way easier to get down than lukewarm fucking room temperature tequila talk about throwing up that's gonna be a horrible experience you can ask them to shake it or if you're gonna order a shot order for something simple green tea shot capri sun shot something with maybe three ingredients or less keep it simple the bartenders will love you tip your bartenders well if you want to make sure you're taken care of or you're gonna get that shot for free or you're gonna you know they're gonna prioritize you when you come up to the bar tip them well ideally the first time you walk up to the bar

tip them like 50 percent like like higher than usual because they will remember you they will recognize and they'll be like this girl's taking care of me i want to take care of her fuck all these other people as soon as she walks up i'm gonna make sure that she has a drink in hand what she wants pro tip anyways someone said talk about sugar daddies i am my own sugar daddy and that is exactly how it should be please do not rely on a man for anything once again capricorn season make your own money get your own fucking job buy your own place that's how you get ahead in this world not relying on a man to buy it for you please please i'm begging you girls please learn this please you got to work for what you need you got to get it yourself go after it please

do not rely on a man to buy things for you you're gonna be lost in life that's when you see those women who are like wives for a living with nine kids getting a divorce and they're like holy shit now i don't have a home i don't have any money saved and i have nine fucking kids what the fuck am i gonna do a mess please do not find yourself in a mess someone said sorry i didn't mean to laugh someone said just got diagnosed with autism and it explains so much that was me when i got diagnosed with my personality disorder i was like oh i'm not just a gemini you're telling me this isn't a gemini tendency i actually have a personality disorder things are adding up things are making sense here literally the snow outside is crazy right now someone said how to

deal with feeling lonely even when you're not go to bed early or have a book on your side table so if you're ever feeling lonely you're not like scrolling on tiktok trying to live someone else's life vicariously or like getting jealous of it or seeing your friends are out and about and getting some fomo like dive into someone else's story that's not real jump into a book or go to bed early so you're not up and your brain isn't wandering that is the best advice i can possibly give someone said any tips for someone trying to finish school who is so close to being done stick it out stick it out finish school please i regret not finishing school every single day i regret not finishing school in a general sense but i do think the major that i went into was

wrong so i don't regret leaving that major if that makes any sort of sense like if i graduated with a nursing degree what the fuck would i do with that because i don't want to be a nurse i wish i would have just graduated with like a very generic bachelor's degree um and i didn't finish art school because covid was happening and i was paying for college out of pocket um and i just did not think it made sense to pay for online art school especially when you know the resources and why art school is so expensive because of the resources i just simply didn't have access to i felt like it wasn't worth my money so yeah but i think about going back to school every single day so i say if you're close even like if you're not even close girl stick it out change majors if

you have to change schools if you have to whatever it is but it's worth it i guarantee even if you're like I don't think I'm going to use my major, whatever it is, you at least have that show for having college experience. Most of the time people won't get jobs that their major is related to, but simply having that major or having that bachelor's degree is going to simply help you get a job no matter what, period. I regret not finishing. I probably will go back to school at some point and finish, so if you're already there and you're already going through it, you might as well keep going and get it done with it's like ripping a band-aid off you know what i mean someone said do you believe in calculated risks i do because i think with every risk you take the

universe is going to give back to you for simply playing the game of life i talk about playing the game of life all the time you got to be an active participant in life or else you're going to be left behind in a sort of sense thinking about the whole graduating receiving your bachelor's degree you gotta get you gotta play the game of life like unfortunately we are we're born in a society and you know we have to do things around that society sometimes it sucks i get that but you gotta play the game of life and a part of the game of life is taking risks okay and putting yourself out there and trying new things um and simply learning from them if they go wrong or receiving the benefits if they go right most of the time they do go right if you take a risk the universe

has a funny way of always rewarding risk in some sort of way whether it's a learning lesson such as I tried it and I didn't like it or you know hey lessons such as let's do this again and I mean this podcast was a calculated risk I enjoyed posting on social media but did I think anybody was going to listen to this not really here we are with millions of you guys listening which is fucking crazy um but this wouldn't have happened if i didn't take a risk and simply try so yes i do believe in calculated risk i do think it works out most of the time and i encourage you guys to try new things and learn from them hi hannah and hotties of the world i just wanted to call in since this was talked about previously on the pod i wanted to let you know that i took one for the

team i took one for the smoke sesh nation and i went and i got my first brazilian wax oh my god it was kind of amazing it literally took 10 minutes didn't hurt that bad wasn't awkward at all the salon i was in was playing sisa and it was great and i actually booked another appointment so if you've been debating getting a brazilian you must do it it is 100 percent worth it girlies um the smoothness i can damn near feel the wind blowing okay so if you've been thinking about it just do it love you okay love that i have i have a lot of questions i don't have a lot of questions i had a lot of questions before that glad you had a great experience might be booking mine this afternoon damn near felt the wind blow that killed me oh

my god someone said best makeup tips find makeup that works for your skin um if you have dry skin use like cream-based products if you have oily skin use powder-based products um as a fellow acne girly um i really had to make sure that the products that i was using weren't gonna break me out um so then i wasn't having to put on more makeup um and i feel like i've done a pretty good job finding things that work well with my skin one of my favorites being the glossier skin tint if you're the kind of girl who likes to wear makeup but doesn't like the feeling of makeup like i literally want to peel my face off when i wear too much foundation skin tint bb cream cc cream something very light simple that's going to be your best friend but find something that works

with you and it is going to take a lot of trial and error don't listen to whatever people are like this is the best product right now you know like tiktok viral don't listen to that bullshit actually look up the ingredients look up see what's gonna work best for you and follow that best thing you can really do for your skin is simply understanding your skin type and making choices that will enhance or help that skin type for me i have like combo oily so i really have to make sure the products that i'm using whether it's face wash whether it is makeup whether it is like exfoliants creams moisturizers that it's going to work with that certain type of skin type and i understand the things that i use are not always going to be the best things for

other people because we all got different skin you guys dry january is going pretty good um it's the 9th we have how many more days like 20 something um and yeah it's going pretty good i am very excited to try this new i just came in the mail last night i'm i might make a little cocktail after this make a little video a little cocktail with me except for not drinking it's thc infused i i want to call it alcohol but it's not because there's no alcohol in it it's like a spirit i guess maybe i would consider it but there's like six milligrams per 1.5 fluid ounces and usually in a cocktail it's two ounces of whatever liquid you're using so per drink it's like eight milligrams of thc and girl i'm gonna have a couple drinks hang out it's gonna be good

i'm very excited to try that so if you're also doing dry january and are interested it's called nowadays um just look up nowadays infused cocktails also tag them on my instagram story later today so enjoy try it with me i'm so excited to see how that turns out someone said how do i deal with rejection without myself lol love you um yeah feel that rejection's hard it's a hard emotion to come to terms with because when you are living within the ego rejection feels like you just got stabbed it feels like oh why don't you love me it makes you feel like a undesirable unloved child a little bit and that's how you have to work on lowering our ego a little bit because rejection is redirection it is not a

personal attack at you it doesn't mean you did anything wrong it doesn't mean you know you are unlovable it doesn't mean that you are inherently like bad or something bad about you is why you got rejected none of that is true that is simply your ego taking offense um usually it just means that was not the right path for you that wasn't the right person for you um and the universe knew you didn't know that so it had to step in and take control of the wheel okay so thank her for not putting you into the unknown of what could have been a really bad situation and you just simply didn't know about it and accept where you are accept fate and then since it is a redirection you can't keep forcing your way down a closed path you have to take that new path and

you really have to learn to make the best with the new path and maybe redirect your dreams a little bit it does suck because in our heads we have a way of like creating this new reality and dreaming it up of like what could be and then all of a sudden it's ripped away from us so like make peace with your unlived life but also you're currently living life and this is your new path so the best thing you can really honestly ever do for yourself is make the best of that new direction um and understand that what didn't happen simply wasn't meant for you and something that is meant for you is coming up along the way i promise i feel this everyone has been so tired lately like sleepy is it the stars or the winter solstice question mark question mark i think it's just

the winter energy like if you think about it this is the time where the trees take a break they go into sleep mode the animals take a break they are in their hibernation you know and i feel like it's within human nature to kind of retreat into ourselves and evaluate and step more into our self-care and our indulgence in sleep and we're a little tired from all the hecticness that summer and spring brought us and that's okay so take this time to like rest and recharge um it's okay if you're feeling a little tired a little exhausted you deserve to have a break to you know sleep in a little bit and also all the new year's energy going on right now all that capricorn moon energy in the air people are really in their go-getter trying to achieve all their goals all at once

and it can exhaust you so you have to remember at this time to not only prioritize achieving your goals and achieving all those little things on your to-do list of course but also setting time aside to take care of yourself and making sure that you are taking care of your body and your mind because if you're not taking care of those things you won't be able to achieve the goals that you've set for yourself you got to start at a base level you know make sure your body and your mind are taken care of so then you can go out and achieve your dreams i guess speaking of tattoos someone said tips to getting tattoos making sure you won't regret your tattoo placements any advice I regret or I recommend getting a bad one first um I don't know if I've talked about this but

when I was younger uh when Amazon first became a thing the first thing that I really ever purchased on Amazon with like my actual money from working at like 16 was a tattoo gun tattoo machines and guns should not be sold to anyone under the age of 20 if i'm being honest because now since my party trick when i was younger was oh i have a tattoo machine in my trunk not only do i have a bunch of really bad tattoos and thank god they are so small and they're like on my feet but a lot of other people have really bad tattoos too and listen listen we all make mistakes we all you know go through things like that i'm so sorry to anybody i've given a bad tattoo to but also why the hell do you trust me at 16 years old to give you a tattoo

with a machine that i pulled out of the trunk of my car and did in your living room we all make mistakes everybody has those days you know um but yeah I think the best way to really never forget a tattoo that you actually think about and put on your body later on in the future is to have some bad ones that you simply did not think about um so I have a few of those so after I actually got real ones that I had thought about for a while um the one on the back of my neck I thought about for like three years before I got it simply because I got it as soon as I turned 18 um it's like an eye it's so cute and then the one on my arm I thought about for a couple years before I got it and then the one on this arm I thought about for a couple years before I got it so

I think it's safe to say if you have an idea in mind and it's something that's stuck with you through a couple years or even a year as you've changed and you still like it you'll like it once to put on your body um next is finding a good artist I love my leaves because the artist was so talented and put a ton of time into it and a ton of effort um and of course that effort and that time and their overall skill shows because it is still such a good tattoo to this day even though it's like five years old now the one on my back was a random walk-in uh they were still learning I didn't really know what their art practice was and it's not as good like it definitely needs some touch-up and then this one on the new one that I got although it was a walk-in

I did I was familiar with the artist and I knew they could do some very fine line work so I wasn't super nervous about that I did know that I picked a good artist for the technical skills um and the idea I had had for a while so I knew I would probably like it once it was put on my body pain wise tattoos really don't hurt um it is probably the least pain I've felt for anything quite frankly feels like a cat scratch if you know what that feels like so like yeah there's gonna be some pain behind it of course but you know the cat scratch it just stings um it's not like going super deep into your skin now my my five hour tattoo that one hurt a little bit more because once you're on hour four and they are tattooing over the same place for the fifth time

you're like please god can we take a break that might hurt but if you're getting a simple tattoo in a pretty simple area it's gonna go by quick there's not gonna be a lot of pain involved the days afterward not super painful I can barely feel any of my brand new tattoo that I got two days ago um as long as you take care of it keep it moisturized you're good to go she told me wash my tattoo three times a day that seemed insane to me I was like I feel like that's too much like that's too much washing my tattoo is going to get more infected if I wash it a bunch so I really haven't been doing all that i wash it a couple times a day and then i just make sure it's really moisturized so the skin doesn't dry out or get too sensitive and so far so good so i say if you

have any ideas or some things that have stuck with you that you really want to get tattooed and you've been thinking about for a while you have an artist in mind and you have the money saved up because they are expensive and you do need to tip your artist then go for it you're gonna love it you're gonna have a good time i even like my bad tattoos i really don't regret them because they're like a funny story or a time in my life that I can look back on and appreciate and understand and you know remember the person that I was when I got them or gave them to myself so go for it um I know some people don't like commitment and maybe tattoos aren't your thing and that's okay maybe a piercing something that can heal and go away is more

your speed um but yeah I say if it's something that you want to do life's too short have some fun growing up my parents are very anti-tattoo very like why would you do that to yourself why would you get a tattoo and then they started getting them they're like oh I want like five now and I'm like what's switched in your brain I think they just realized that life really isn't too as serious as they were taking it and they can have some fun and like who cares if you have tattoo so lesson learned now i have a couple should we smoke should we smoke we're like halfway through i think why not let's light up your playlist might get you through the work day but have you ever wondered how your ancestors spent theirs what work helped them build a life

how did they adapt as the world around them changed with ancestry you can search select historical occupational records for free for a limited time and discover the stories behind the jobs in your family tree. You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. fantastic happy tuesday you guys this has been a fun episode so far don't worry we're not ending it i know you're checking the time right now like girl we're 30 minutes in i hear you i hear you i've been thinking i don't know i know i put the video episode up on spotify um because you can't post video episodes on like apple they don't have the technology yet

but i don't know if i'm going to continue posting them on spotify and youtube or maybe just move fully to youtube but still upload the audio on spotify i don't know how i'm feeling uh or what is best for you guys so dm me let me know where you listen to this um and where you want to see video content what's easiest for you what's most ideal for you um i want to make sure it is just user-friendly and that you guys are having a good time that's literally all i care about i don't care if it makes my life harder as long as it makes your life easier anyways you guys like my you guys like my pink comfy tracksuit this is listen i couldn't bring myself to spend a hundred and like forty dollars on pants and then hundred forty dollars on a top

for a frankie's bikini set i just couldn't that literally i would rather rip my hair out so i got the dupe the dupe the addicted e-d-i-k-t-e-d i don't fucking know you guys know the company i'm talking about i got their dupe and honestly not sponsored but she is so comfy and cozy and i live in this track suit if i'm being honest the pink vibes are everything today got my pink joint got my pink microphone got my pink track suit life is good what can i say anyways all right let's keep going through some questions someone said i just got an espresso machine what are your favorite coffee recipes i love my espresso machine i've had two coffees this morning and i spent zero dollars actually i mean i had to buy all the supplies it probably

cost me 25 cents per coffee if that if that first of all you guys know i'm an oat milk girl aldi i don't know if you have aldi where you live i don't really know if that's a chain but aldi has the best oat milk i feel like a lot of oat milks are pretty oily like i drink them and i'm like why do my why is there like oil on my teeth what the fuck this is weird like weird texture hate it all d oat milk best oat milk no added oils no added sugars it's like perfect it's as close to like homemade oat milk that you can get i genuinely believe um so first make sure you have a quality milk whatever it is um and my coffees are really simple all i do is i put my espresso okay a little shot of espresso i do a little honey a little brown sugar ice oat milk i put it in a mason

jar so i can shake it and then it's like a shaken oat milk brown sugar oat milk espresso fuck you starbucks anyways that's literally my go-to but you can make anything with an espresso machine especially if your espresso machine has a steamer like a milk steamer attached to it then you can make hot lattes you can make iced lattes you can make hot matchas if you buy the matcha powder separately um you can mix matcha with your espresso okay a little swamp water fantastic life is good 10 out of 10 recommend hi hannah i love your podcast so much girl um so my question for this week so i love art i love to do art but bitch i am experiencing a major block in all my artistic abilities and i don't know what to do because i have been trying to create so much

but nothing that i'm producing is it's just not what i feel like is my best or not my best but you know what i mean anyways any advice that you have would be greatly appreciated thank you i love you so much illy queen um artist brought artist block best way to break your artist block is to create bad art um you are stuck in like a perfectionist mindset um you're creating art but it's not good enough it's not where you want it to be and that's okay because 90 of the art you create is not going to be what you are envisioning in your head um the the 10th time you do the same thing that's when you finally create that piece of art that's thought out that's exactly how you want it but the first time is rarely ever the most perfect one um so i know

you have a sketchbook i know you have some markers get in there create bad art i'm talking just doodle draw it doesn't have to be perfect every sketch page sketch page book doesn't have to look like a picasso drawing like a beautiful piece of art no draw random things mess up scratch things out get used to creating bad art once you're used to creating bad art you will be able to create some fantastic stuff um but you really have to break that perfectionist mindset and i think the fastest way to break it is to just do a lot of bad art really quickly um i've been challenging myself to kind of break open my sketchbook and do like one page a day um to get into the practice of just habitually doing it um and the best way for me to get comfortable with habitually doing

it is to understand that every day is not going to be a perfect day every day is not going to be a great day um but you do something a hundred times you're going to have more of a chance of having maybe 10 good outcomes or five good outcomes instead of doing it once and having the chances be lower for having a good outcome get out there create bad art um also kind of there's no such thing as bad art it's a learning process but the biggest thing I learned in art school was art is a process and rarely if ever is that first time you do something going to be the perfect piece um in fact the 10th or the 100th time you do that piece of art that you're trying to create from your head that's when you get it perfectly um and that's when the best art is

created when it's well thought out well executioned and practiced a lot practice a lot make bad art bring bad art back period someone said so bad at going to bed at a decent hour and getting up before noon tips um i've really been trying to get up earlier this past week i have a bad habit of sleeping to like 11 and then i'm like okay the sun baby the sun goes down at five you're waking up at 11 you were only getting six hours of sunlight not to mention half the time it's cloudy out your mental health your mental health is declining let's get up earlier so your life is better and i have been my i've been setting my alarm for like 8 45 and i have a hard time turning off an alarm and immediately getting back up so i do hit snooze but i only hit snooze once so then

i get a little extra annoyed you know i let myself close my eyes chill for a bit and then i hear it again and after I hear that second alarm I'm like okay get the fuck up we got shit to do we gotta get up so setting an alarm I know I know alarms are annoying they're really not fun to wake up to but the more you do it the easier your brain will be conditioned to waking up earlier and then going to bed early is also really hard for me very hard for me but recently my little like edible before bed has been putting me in the perfect mindset to just like pass out okay you really want to slow your brain down and put yourself into the mindset of a okay we gotta go to bed i'm ready to pass out and it's only nine eat a little edible okay nothing crazy a little gummy maybe

a little cbd gummy pazpacks.com smoke sash 10 off i think i think they're still open i think they still have some products so go snatch that up while they are still shipping um but eat a little gummy put your phone down pick up a book read a book forces your brain to slow down edible will be kicking you'll be extra comfy basically a part of your of your bed at this point um and then and yeah just let it do its thing i promise your brain will be slowed down to a point that you'll be able to shut your eyes and immediately pass right out i'm the kind of person who has to fall asleep with the tv on um i don't know if you guys are like that so turning on something that is more long-form content or something that i've seen before something that my brain um is already

like recognized or understood like something predictable something that i've seen before literally um it makes going to bed easier because I know I my brain's not like being stimulated my brain already knows what's happening what what is going to be the next experience on the next slide on the next tv show so it's very easy to fall asleep at that point um but yeah you really just have to stick to it keep keep waking up early keep setting that alarm um and you will build it into your routine I pinky promise yesterday was hard for me my alarm went off at 8 45 and I was like I hate living but then today it went off and I was like okay I'm ready to go I woke up I had my coffee I did a workout who am I what's going on my frontal lobe is actually developing and I'm

like oh this is what life is I can actually organize my life and achieve things who would have thought who would have thought if you're under 25 and you feel like really chaotic and you don't know what's going on it's okay neither does your brain that's fine it's a normal process in this life let yourself not know anything just do your best that's literally all you can do someone said i feel like i'm always sick how do i boost my immune system during these cold months thank you girl drink your water make sure you are eating healthy meals okay make sure you're getting your veggies in make sure you're eating enough protein make sure you're eating enough carbs make sure you're eating enough breakfast lunch dinner okay 80 20 make sure you're doing

that i don't know if you guys know what the 80 20 rule is i've been really trying to stick to that which is like uh 80 of the time you eat good whatever you perceive good as which is just for me like not going to mcdonald's or like not eating tacos um and then 20 is just like literally whatever you want and sticking to that i feel like my body functions well i function well my brain functions well staying hydrated you can get up you can get moving your immune system has enough to work off of and then when you do feel yourself getting sick um i love a ginger lemon tea you know make sure you're getting your vitamin c and your vitamin d eating fresh fruit i think clementines are in season right now which is fantastic um and making sure you're getting

enough rest those are the best things to really boost your immune system 10 out of 10 recommend but once again if you can't if your body and your mind aren't taken care of everything else is going to fall out of place i'm telling you very important to prioritize sparkling water break cheers lacroix sponsor me i love you people ask me a lot about my spiritual journey and like crystals candles spells what do you do how do you do it and i think a lot of what people get confused about is there's literally no rules there's no rules like i mean unless you practice a very specific type of like witchcraft or like voodoo or whatever it is where you know something practicing something that maybe your ancestors used to did used to do then maybe there are rules

and maybe there are more formulated ways you can experience spirituality but like i was not raised with like like my mom wasn't like very witchy she wasn't like here's some crystals and candles let's do a spell together let's celebrate the new moon she was not like that she was very much so like methodist um so she is very much so christian girly and then i'm very much so spiritual girly so i really had nothing to learn off of except for what my intuition told me and i think a lot of people get spirituality mixed up and feel like they have to follow these rules or follow these specific things or have these specific things when in reality spirituality is just what you make of it um i encourage anybody who wants to get into spirituality to simply walk into your

local metaphysical shop your local crystal shop your local whatever it may be and start picking up things and touching things and looking at things and asking questions and simply just follow what your intuition wants to follow and um what your intuition leans towards i think you can really discover some fun things about yourself some fun new practices some fun things that maybe you never would have thought of before i also think if you have no idea where to start to go to some i don't know what to call them just like spiritual meetings um i guarantee there is some witchy person in your city who is hosting like full moon rituals new moon rituals uh tarot readings astrology readings one-on-one meetings whatever it is um in kansas city my favorite is

sacred psyche she's amazing she hosts just like events for people to really get in touch with themselves and touch with what's going on around them um and you know the whole astrology crystal spiritual aspect of things and really teaches them the meaning behind things and if you're new to things that sort of environment can be really really helpful and also just being an observer can be helpful but also if you're somebody who maybe doesn't like doing that stuff simply just going to your local shop and exploring and purchasing things that call to you is a form of practicing spirituality and leaning towards things that call to you is the practice of spirituality in whatever form it may be um if you don't know where to start i think the first thing

that anybody can do is simply build themselves an altar go to an event you know observe see what they do see what their altar looks like but having an altar in your home or having a space where you can really cultivate that energy have a dedicated space for those things that you like to infuse in your practice such as candles crystals incense whatever it is but building an altar and building a space where it's a comfortable place for you to go and to for you to meditate i think is the perfect first step to really diving into spirituality and diving into what spirituality might mean to you so 10 out of 10 recommend i've had my altars look like just tiny little tables that i put all my stuff out on arrange all my stuff um i've had my altars be

like my windowsill on my last apartment um the patreon grillies know my whole windowsill was my altar and then here it is my vanity i use my vanity as my altar space um so any sort of like writings that i do or um like meditation that i do that's the space i do it at tarot readings um energy cleansings anything like that that is usually the space i go to so having a dedicated space and having it built as the first thing you do great way to practice 10 out of 10 recommend also simply just learning from your peers see if there's any full moon circles near you and go participate and have some fun cheers someone said how do i call out of work without having an anxiety attack lol i remember when like calling out of work used to be the scariest thing i do now i'm

just like girl i ain't gonna be there and i know you're not gonna fire me so i'm just letting you know i'm not gonna be there and she's like okay cool luckily in the restaurant industry as long as somebody is there to cover your shift or you can find someone to cover your shift which you usually always can you're good to go um but yeah what are they gonna do fire you for calling out be honest don't make up crazy shit because they're probably gonna understand that it's fake and then they're gonna think you know they're not gonna be more willing to give you time off in the future just be real with them I'm sick I'm having a bad mental health day I need to you know I need to go see my therapist girl or you know I just can't come in sometimes you don't have to

have an excuse sometimes you just simply can't be there um and quite frankly what are they gonna do about it fire you no they're not it's okay to call in it's okay to have a mental health day i promise don't be scared send that text turn your phone on do not disturb have a good day love you someone said i just started a position at work hella big girl job and i feel like i can't handle it i'm faking it girl so is everybody else everybody else around you even like the ceo or anybody who is higher up where you're like oh my god they have it all figured out they are just doing their best and i'm just not one of them you are one of them because guess what they're faking it too they're putting on a smile and they're pretending like they know what the fuck's

going on but when they're alone in their office they have no clue what's going on everybody else is just trying to figure it out as well that's what having a job is so you deserve the big girl job you deserve the big girl pay fake it till you make it work your hardest ask for help if you need it but understand you are not the only person in your office who is going through this i promise you someone said what are your favorite low maintenance plants need some plant babies these boys right here these guys around me these are the best pothos you literally can't kill them if i'm being honest actually i have um but you literally can't kill them and then if you do kill them they will basically be reborn so with these plants um they grow like crazy first of all they

tell you when they need water they'll start getting like a droopy and like dried out like a raisin when you see that throw some water in there they'll be good they'll pop right back up um and also when you have one plant you have millions because when you when you chop off a little leaf of these guys there's a node on it you'll see like a little knot like a knob those knobs will become roots if you put them in water so half my plants are just propagations that i've cut off of other plants um put them in some water let them grow some roots put them in a new pot boom all of a sudden you have nine plants around you and they're easy to take care of low light pretty simple make sure there's a window in the room at least and they'll be good water them whenever they

tell you they need water life is good they'll be happy you'll be happy and you'll have like a million plants fantastic um another really good low maintenance plant is a swiss cheese monstera my mom gifted me a swiss cheese monstera for my birthday this year and it grows like crazy um it literally is trying to grow out of my house and up my walls it tells you when it needs water because the leaves will get a little brown i try and water it at least once a week um and it is very easy to propagate as well it's cute you know it looks it looks difficult without actually being difficult which i think is the best kind of plant to have someone asked tea break advice for someone who's never taken one in four years um i have done multiple tea breaks either intentionally or

not intentionally either like i have a bad high and i'm like i'm just not gonna smoke for a year or i'm like my memory's shot i need to take some time off or tea break in a different sense uh dry january i'm like i should probably cut back on my drinking let's challenge myself let's do a month off any sort of i'm just going to take a break for something or i'm going to lower my usage for my health for any sort of substance you have to stop thinking it thinking of it as i'm trying to take a break from that thing and reframe your brain to I'm trying to break the habit because at this point it's become like a ritual in your life it's become a habit in your life there's a certain time of the day you smoke you know you usually do it at night or like maybe there's a

certain time of the day you drink or a social event you feel the urge to do so and you're trying to break that brain connection that gives you the urge to do so and that simply comes with time and time off um so stop thinking of it as like I'm removing this thing from my life because then you feel like you've lost something then you feel more of an urge to bring it back or it could be easier if you bring it back into your life and reframe your brain as like I need to you know reframe the way my brain connects with this and to reframe the way my um urges are for this certain substance so really it just takes time your brain's gonna reclassically condition itself go back to square one um and you just have to work through those urges a little bit

um supplementing with sometimes a different thing can be nice for me it's like the uh thc infused once again not an alcohol spirit um that'll be a nice supplement so if i do want like a fun little cocktail that's gonna give me somewhat of a little buzz i can have that without actually having the alcohol um na there's a bunch of really nice amazing na beverages such as like the guia or whatever um or like you could even have like a poppy and consider it like a fun bubbly drink for you to have at a social environment um or you know with weed you can do seaweed instead you can do a non-psychoactive flower where you're still indulging in the ritual and kind of taking that pressure off your brain a little bit but not indulging in the behavior

that you are trying to really subside so you can do it i believe in you time you really just need time and you stay strong and you stick beside yourself but anybody can do it and yeah nine days in weed would be way harder for me to quit than alcohol luckily my relationship with weed is pretty good right now but yeah I'm nine days in no alcohol and I have found that it's not the alcohol that I'm craving but it is the um that instant gratification of giving my brain what it wants you have to break that that instant gratification you got to retrain your brain to not crave it so much or to not ritualize it so much to not expect it so takes time you can do it i believe in you do what's good for you you know what that is hey hannah from the netherlands

calling in right now i love your podcast so much you're so insightful i love it i love it so much um anyways so i recently broke up with my boyfriend and i really just want to take this next year to focus on myself and figure out what are my hobbies what are things that I like to do and just in general being more content with being single um so by myself okay I have borderline personality disorder so I really feel the need to go after validation from others but I'm really trying to protect my peace this year and I was hoping that you would have some tips for protecting your peace and keeping the negative energy away but also making sure that the only people that can enter your life romantically are the right people thank you so much okay great question

first of all congratulations hope you are happy and healthy and living your best life right now man free but you sound smart and intelligent and it sounds like you are very aware of um you know your thought processes and the situations you end up in and you don't want to end back up there you really want to protect your peace so i say just stay strong um set goals for yourself um really just take this time to do everything for you um there's no such thing as being selfish during this time if you're trying to enter a time of really focusing on you the goal is to be a little selfish it's okay to say no or yes to whatever you want to do it's okay to try new things to explore new things it's okay to you know meet people and then realize maybe

they're not the right person for you there's no need to appease other people no need to do that during this time just have fun and follow your intuition follow what you want to do make the best out of this life you know what i mean um we only get a short amount of time here on this earth so we might as well do whatever the fuck we want and have a good fucking time doing it you know what i mean um but yeah don't get into a relationship i say really take this time this next year you said to focus on what is most important to you to creating the perfect daily routine to really getting comfortable being alone comfortable with yourself once you set your standards high for yourself you will also set your standards high for other people and you won't

in turn settle for the wrong person okay make sure they check all those boxes someone said how to be more carefree illy um there's this meme i'm thinking of right now what'd it say oh it says you found it cringe i found it fun that's why i'm happier than you literally life is serious there are serious moments but most of the time it's just we're here to have a fun silly little time and that's literally all it is so stop taking things so seriously stop taking things so personally please i'm begging you if you take everything personally you're going to be a miserable person it sometimes it's really not about you and that's okay in fact it should be more of a freeing feeling knowing it's simply not about you and it's not that deep um but yeah

i think you really just have to stop taking things so seriously all the time have a little laugh you know be a little silly be be as carefree as you possibly can and if you are having a hard time being carefree like i challenge you to be a little cringe every once in a while you know what I mean like embarrass yourself a little bit so you can practice going over that like mindset of oh my god did I embarrass myself no girl who gives a fuck no one's thinking about you except you so stop thinking about yourself that kind of mentality someone said hey girl I can't stop going non-verbal while smoking help love you I love entering that space where I'm like the only person in the area that's like not talking like i'm just in my own world vibing and that's okay

i love those people when i'm at a session it's just like that one person is there doing their own thing and i know they're just living in their head it's like i know they don't want to talk to me because it's hard to talk for them right now and that's valid and that's okay and i hope you enjoy your time love you it's okay sometimes it happens and if you're with the right people they'll understand and just like send you a cute little wink kiss and hope that you're having a good time if they ask you if you're okay don't let it freak you out just be like yeah girl i'm just in my own world they'll understand i think you promise um but if you maybe that just means when you smoke you're more so of a internal person it of course weed's gonna make you

look inward a little bit more so if you do have a habit of going non-verbal it's okay you loved and understood oh my camera died so sad about that i had to charge it a little bit did a little break ate a little bit of food was pretty yummy made myself some lunch my go-to lunch recently i have like a hyper fixation lunch if you're an add girl like me and you're always like i'm looking for my lighter panicking panicking where's my lighter um if you're an ADD girl like me and you have a hard time feeding yourself but also like have hyper fixations find one meal that you can cook all week for lunch and just do that just make your life as easy as possible and my lunch this week last week it's like it was veggie curry with rice and then

soft boiled eggs this week it's shakshuka I think I said that right which is like a um i have i think it's middle eastern like veggie almost like a red sauce with eggs in it soft boiled and then i ate it with some pita bread so good so yummy if you're hungry feed yourself you deserve it i know you guys have the munchies watching this right now so cheers smoke a little bit answer a few more questions and then i have to edit this and upload it which is going to take for fucking ever so if you're watching this and you're like girl you uploaded it way too late i'm sorry i'm sorry all i'm doing is my best and that's simply all i can do anyways you ever light a joint and it's like just like a nubby little one like it's the end

and you're afraid your eyelashes are gonna catch on fire or perhaps your bangs not to freak you out but i knew a girl in elementary school that happened too she was like smoking weed and lit her bangs on fire obviously but she went to go blow out a candle blew the flame the spark blew up and hit her bangs and her all of her bangs caught on fire you guys see that smoke for the okay so if you want to be able to like interpret like incense signs or or weed smoke which is what i'm using right now not the joint being literally incense to me um the more still and the taller your smoke is the better the energy is look at that for the viewers or the listeners right now it's like five inches tall just straight up beautiful anyways let me finish this joint

get into all of your questions for the day let's get a little juicy someone said what are some ways you found helpful to be okay with healthy weight gain um understand and come to the understanding that you are not going to be in a teenage body forever and that's just a part of how the human body works and develops and grows and it's okay you're going to gain weight your body's going to change you're going to go through a second puberty in your 20s very normal very real if you set it up if you can set it up for yourself by having a healthy mindset and you will have a better outcome um and i think for myself the biggest thing i did was just understanding the human growth and development process and i am not an exemption

to the rules i am not going to have a teenage 90 pound fucking body for the rest of my life nor do i want that because that's not healthy we want what's healthiest for ourselves understand it's a part of just growth and development um and if you are a person who's maybe experiencing some healthy weight gain um but you still want to feel like you are a part of your body and if that makes you feel out of control i really recommend moving your body in some sort of healthy way whether it's going for a walk um a little daily pilates um maybe just literally anything stretching yoga practice it i feel like physically moving your body helps you connect your brain to healthier ways to think about it

and i have also been the person who has over exercise so it's a really fine balance for me um between what is a healthy exercise and what's like over exerting myself in the name of like over exercising and I have found that the best way for me to exercise is to simply move my body in a very simple way whether it's a walk whether it's yoga whether it's stretching whether it's Pilates something simple but still challenging enough that I can feel my body doing some work and I've really been enjoying it I have been doing Pilates for like I think a month now which is not that long but it's a really fun thing to incorporate into my daily routine and i actually have started looking forward to it a lot some guys some of you guys send me some wild shit and i honestly

i really appreciate it thank you for being just as crazy as i am because when we can match energy that's when magic happens you know someone said prepare okay put a finger in my bf's bum during missionary and he immediately came what do i do i guess you do it again i mean you had good results i don't think you should be concerned in any sort of way it's not his fault that his g-spot was put there but now you know he really enjoys it i think the only thing you can take from that is do it again if you're comfortable if you're comfortable but that's probably the best outcome for that situation do you know what I mean okay well I guess we'll do some call-ins

anti-anxiety antidepressants mood stabilizers but specifically I was wondering if you could talk about like your experiences um with anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers to help with maybe as i like to put my crazy bitch outbursts um but yeah thanks love you love the pod um yeah so i was on mood stabilizer stabilizers anti-psychotics anti-anxiety uh antidepressants sleeping pills waking up pills i've been on everything and i i'm not on anything right now but at that time i felt like it was the best decision for me um especially if you're if you are somebody who let me put it this way i feel like sometimes i give advice and i'm like you have to retrain the way you think about things and i think 80 of the population can do that

they're in a healthy mental state where they can understand their thoughts and their emotions actualize them work through them and put in the effort to change the way they think about things but there's also like 20 of the population who can't do that because their thoughts are over consuming or over controlling or they just do not have that access to that part of their brain and I have been there before and I understand that when you're there and you feel like your thoughts or your feelings or your emotions are like overtaking or controlling you in a sense where you feel like you're at whim to them that is the moment where I think asking for extra help is going to be a very beneficial thing and I was in that place I needed some help I need some extra

help I felt like my thoughts and my moods and my emotions were controlling me rather than me being able to work with them and I needed the extra help and being on those medications was extremely beneficial and very helpful to me luckily I was able to also get to a place where through therapy and through medication and through psychiatric work and just a lot of dbt training which was understanding my thoughts and behaviors and those patterns and working with myself along with a professional I was able to get to a place where I got off of them and I feel like I'm at a pretty healthy place but I do think if you are the kind of person who hears my advice and you're like yeah bitch easier said than fucking done like I just can't control my emotions like that

that's when I think some extra help whether it's therapy whether it's seeing a psychiatrist um getting on some medication doing dbt group therapy that is when that can be extremely beneficial um and I had a fantastic time with my antidepressants mood stabilizers I feel like they were just what I needed in that time especially somebody who felt such an out-of-body experience um feeling like I was not like a part of my body because my body and my brain were separated um having that help was it put me in a spot where I was able to get back on the right track and help myself and get back in control of my life a little bit which was really really nice so if you're a little nervous don't be um ask your psychiatrist as many questions as you can

as you can um I would ask them what are the most common side effects they see when people start these what are some things you should look out for so if there's new just like emotional trains of thought or experiences they are a little more normalized and not as out there um as if you were just randomly experiencing them um if you know what to look for it makes them a little less surprising um and it can look like anything depending on the medication you're on for me it was like I couldn't sleep I had a really hard time going to bed that's thus the uh sleeping medication um I had really bad dry mouth and um that's it but I understand there's some more serious you know side effects sometimes the thoughts get worse sometimes um they do the

opposite effect medication can be silly like that not everybody's body is going to react the same especially when you're taking medication for your brain so be patient with yourself work closely with your psychiatrist and your therapist I also recommend journaling so you can really keep track of those thoughts and where you're at and journal based on mood so you are able to healthily exert those feelings into a place that is not damaging to anybody or yourself and yeah I think sometimes you know in this life you need a little extra help and I don't know why people are so afraid to ask for it um do what you gotta do i think it should be a good experience for you though um i'm very thankful for the medication i was on and the therapist that i worked with

um to be able to get to this point so hannah i'm wondering what you think about guys in relationships telling girls that they are not allowed to start an only fans and what you think about this what that says about the relationship dynamic if it's a good thing or a bad thing just let me know what you think thank you um hmm okay here's the thing everybody in relationships is going to have different boundaries um and those are going to look like very different things and sometimes boundaries are can get misconstrued as controlling um being in a controlling relationships relationship looks like um them needing to know every single detail every single second of your life trying to control where you go trying to control the way you dress trying to

control the way you speak the people you hang out with isolating you those are abusive controlling relationships but then there's a difference between that and maybe morals within personal relationships and morals can differ between person differentiate between person and differentiate between um relationship so in this specific uh situation the whole like only fans during relationship um if it's not something he came into the relationship expecting i understand how this could throw him off but straight up if that's something that he's not okay with you doing i don't think i don't think it should control you in any sort of way but maybe that means that's not the relationship for him or you um yeah I think you should always do what you want

and sometimes I think you know morals differentiate between relationships but you have to respect his boundaries and you also have to question um whether or not this is the best thing for you and your relationship and if you think it is the best thing for you go ahead but understand maybe the relationship's not gonna last and if you want the relationship to last but maybe you can't do the thing then you know maybe you don't do the thing it's really up to what is more important to you quite frankly but i don't think that's him being overly controlling especially if you didn't do only fans before the relationship if he cut if you were doing only fans before the relationship and then he was like uh no you have to stop that's weird you knew who i was when you

met me you bitch quite frankly you know but um if it's something you're starting during the relationship i understand how he's like maybe this relationship isn't for me you know valid okay well i guess that's the end of the podcast you guys i had a fantastic time hanging out with you on this beautiful little snowy tuesday um i'm loving the video episodes and getting to just like chill with you guys every single week sorry if this comes out a little later today i apologize i gotta get into editing mode after this probably gonna smoke a bowl jump into editing make another coffee probably god i need my brain to be moving as fast as it possibly can so i can get this out to you guys as soon as possible as you guys know you can follow me on instagram at hannah marlene

to see what i'm up to what i am getting done throughout the day throughout the week see some fun things that's where i share all of my random randomness you know what i mean um patreon for the girlies who want more content i'm hoping to put a little vlog up on the patreon on thursday um i'm talking about the capricorn new moon tomorrow um and i always do my monday affirmations journal prompts random little things that are on my mind that i like sharing with you guys find it on the patreon join come support me come hang out with the girls we have a blast on there um and then if you want to watch the video episode it is on spotify um or on youtube uh youtube my youtube handle i think is smokes at shoddy but you can also look up hannah marlene and it should come

up as well but i love you guys thank you for being here thank you for being you i hope you had a blast stay warm out there stick by yourself stick to your goals okay you can't achieve anything and i'll see you so soon Thank you for watching.