Smoke Sesh - roe v wade & ride or dies

Episode Date: June 24, 2022

With everything happening and the news today I thought we should talk. We talk updates happening to smoke sesh and very exciting news on more content & merch. I also talk roe v wade and what to do as a woman right now, as well as planning for our future and taking precautions. We talk ride or dies and how it’s a blessing to be one, and who and how to show up. I go over your questions on sex & birth control, medication, arguments, story times, growing and changing, your 20’s, and what’s been inspiring me lately & my favorite artists. I love you all so very much and I hope you are being safe, sending so much love to you on a heavy day like today, muah

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning, everybody. Happy Friday. I know I know I know I apologize I am a little late on the podcast I can't lie um I meant to

sit down yesterday and record but I had to go into work kind of last minute didn't have enough time um and I got a message last night and no hate to this person at all I just feel like it's a good thing to bring up a good thing to conversate about and they were like hey um a is this still like a q a based like podcast are we still doing questions and yes we are absolutely i apologize if our most recent podcasts have kind of steered off that direction um i can't lie i have not been getting super great questions. Not that your questions are bad, but it becomes redundant after a while for people to be like, should I break up with them or should I not? Or asking questions that I answered last week. So when I veer off the whole question based thing, it's just

because I feel like there's better topics to discuss, better things to bring up, more interesting stuff that i think you guys would like to hear if i'm wrong then i'm wrong that's fine but i don't care what kind of questions you guys ask me feel free to get wild with it feel free to get freaky with it i never bring up your names i never bring up anything like that so it's totally like anonymous you can ask literally anything you want but in order to have like interesting discussions interesting questions which aren't just me you know coming up with shit in my head I do need that kind of reciprocation back so if you're somebody who's like hey what's up but you've never asked a question ask a question it could be anything anything from you know sex to

life to love to the stars to your favorite food like literally anything also I understand I've been a little inconsistent recently um I did recently just go through a big move um I've still been unpacking still been trying to you know get stuff for my apartment feel settled within my own life so then I can feel settled within every other aspect of my life so I apologize if things have been inconsistent lately um I know I usually put out on Tuesdays and Thursdays but that's kind of insane. Like if you think about it, I put out three hours of content, roughly three hours of content that takes me six hours to eight hours to do every single week. And I've been doing that since basically what like December, maybe October. So yeah, I might be getting a little burned out.

Not that I don't love doing this because I do and I do get on here every week. I do get on here and I make sure that I have something to upload um but like if I upload once a week I feel like that is perfectly fine for me if I miss the second upload that is perfectly fine for me I'm so sorry if that's what you look forward to but like I do have to protect myself and my own mental health um in order to get on here and have fun and not just get on here and talk and ramble and not give good content do you know what I mean so if you would offer me just a little bit of leniency I would greatly greatly appreciate it I really really would also I don't want it to seem like I'm forgetting about you guys because in reality when I'm feeling overwhelmed when I'm

only putting out one podcast a week it's because in the background I'm doing a lot of work for you guys that is going to be released soon i just haven't really discussed it super broadly yet um because i'm still like in the process of working it out but there is so much shit that is yet to come that i'm so fucking excited for um and you know what i'll tease it i'll tease it a little bit i know i brought up merch about like three months ago um i had one design made didn't like it had another design made did not like it spent hundreds hundreds hundreds of dollars trying to get these made get something i like hand designing all of it scratching ideas restarting and i'm so excited to announce i finally have the final like you know final samples that i love

they're on their way to me so i can try them on i can photograph them for you guys so you guys can see them and then list them and then we can all have matching hoodies to wear during our sessions i know i'm so fucking excited i also have grinders i'm coming out with um the hoodies are gonna be like a baby pink and then a cream color with a beautiful beautiful illustration done by yours truly on the front and the back i had one girl dm me and was like hey can you make it like not super smoking related you know because like my parents like if i if i buy this i still love it under their house and i don't want them to you know i get it i hear you i already had that factored in because i was like what if i just put weed leaves all over it and it's like yeah that's cool

that's fun that's funky it's fresh but not everybody can you know wear that around their family and i understand that so i really tried to make it subtle other than the word smoke sesh being on there um it is a very subtle um imagery and it's super fun and it's super i'm just so excited um but yeah it's green it's pink it's cream i'm i'm so excited to release these to the world they finally are on their way to me four months later but the main thing is like i never want to put out shitty content i never want to push shitty shit to you guys because i really value guys and I value myself and I never want to show up and do things half-ass like I am a die hard ride or die bitch to the day I fucking die like if I'm committed to somebody if I'm committed

to something if I am committed to an idea I make sure that idea is completely fleshed out is completely good to go is the best thing that I can possibly put out and I think that's my years of art school talking I can't lie they really just conditioned me to only put out quality shit and to overwork myself until I do so which I love I do have a lot of passion in that it's my Capricorn moon you know my drive my power but I could have released merch like January when I announced it but you guys would have received merch that I personally thought was shit and I don't ever want to do that. I also didn't want to collaborate with a company because they take profit, they upcharge you guys, and also they're in charge of the design and half the time the

design looks fucking ass. So thank you for being patient with me. On the other hand, I'm also going to be putting out a lot more content outside of podcasts, things such as vlogs, cook with me, paint with me, guided meditation, days in the lives, morning routines, simple, you know, short videos like that, as well as which some are going to be uploaded. I think I'm going to move the podcast to once a week one video a week as well and all the extra content I think I'm going to add to my Patreon which will be available soon and it won't be like super expensive it's just if I'm going to be a content creator and I'm going to do these things and I'm going to put out this much content I'm really going to put my all into it I you know

gotta make some sort of money out of it so there will still be free content absolutely i'm not gonna be like yeah fuck you guys now you gotta pay for shit because i get it not everybody can afford that i don't care but if you want to support if you want to help out if you want to show me a little bit of love i am going to start a patreon soon where there will be more content more q and a's discussion boards um smoke sesh live streams we can smoke alone together i have a lot of ideas for that as well and it's not going to be very costly anything from like probably like under five dollars to like the higher tiers being maybe over 10 you know nothing crazy at all way less than your netflix subscription but i do want to create more content

I just have to I can't keep creating creating creating and you know not making any money do you know what I mean because for my podcast I'm not gonna lie I don't make any money I get on here and I have fun and I do this for fun and I mean the point isn't to make money but if I'm spending all of my free time outside of work creating and I'm I'm not really getting anything back from it it does kind of begin to have this weight. So I don't want that to happen. There will be free content, there will be merch, there will also be more options for more content and more access. The same way that you would, you know, pay a membership for somebody's like Twitch stream or pay a membership for somebody's like YouTube stream. Similar to that, maybe less streams,

more uploaded content and then also a video once a week that will be free as well so very very excited for that lots of big news I just wanted to update you guys so you guys weren't feeling lost or confused or like you know what's going on why is it not as consistent recently I've just been working really hard for you guys and I'm very excited for what is to come you know and I have been in this transitionary period of my life where i'm moving i'm trying to feel settled within my space and within myself um so thank you guys for staying with me and sticking with me i do really appreciate it i get tons of dms every single day of people being like thank you for showing up for us thank you for speaking on things that people don't usually and i see you guys and i hear you

guys and i really really appreciate it that keeps oh my god sorry me just like burping that really keeps me motivated and i really do appreciate it and i hear you guys and i appreciate you guys so so much so thank you guys for showing up every single week literally so many of you guys every single week like thousands of you guys keep showing up and it's fucking insane and mind-blowing and i love the community that we have here i just you know i wanted to be open i wanted to be honest i want to be vulnerable with you guys um but i am a fucking ride or die bitch i really am and it i feel like being a ride or die kind of it has its it has its good and it has its bad do you know what i mean um i am a dedicated bitch i if i like someone i like you until we run that shit to the

ground or until we're dead like one of the two if we're friends i'm gonna show up for you in every single fucking possible way that i can if you know you're a part of my life and i fuck with you like it's not a half-ass like kind of relationship that I built it is a I am a all or nothing because I cannot not love hard does that make sense and that extends out to you guys as well it extends out to the relationship that we've kind of built on this podcast as well um I know it seems like maybe this might be a second thought to me but really every single day every single waking second I'm like okay the podcast like I can't wait to talk about this oh my god I can't wait to get down and like record this or oh my gosh well what should I talk about like what what

are the topics of the day you know what I mean and I don't know I love it I love doing it but also when it comes to being a ride-or-die bitch the same way that you know you have relationships in your personal life sometimes it can run you to the ground and the key is stepping in before you get run to the ground you know what I mean because there are people who will show up and they will see you for who you are as a genuine kind caring human being who will show up for you in every single possible way and they will use that and they will use it and use it and use it until they can't use it anymore and that's not healthy that is I mean obviously that's not healthy but you have to realize those warning signs before you realize that you're getting used the fuck out of

okay and step in and say something and show up for yourself not that I say not that I'm saying that you know this is like a using situation i'm also thinking outside of this but you know it's very very important to if you are the kind of girl the kind of guy the kind of person who is a all or nothing kind of person you also need to realize when you need to step back a little bit when things maybe aren't reciprocated as much when you know terms and conditions might apply you know um and some people simply don't deserve it some people don't deserve you showing up for them some people don't deserve you being a ride or die but also I think that kind of mentality and that kind of like persistence and that kind of you know love that people bring when they are

that kind of person you shouldn't hinder yourself from being that yes when you realize that somebody maybe isn't reciprocating isn't you know appreciating you in the ways that you need obviously set boundaries show up for yourself but also i think being a ride or die is such a fucking gift because i bet you're thinking of like one friend one person in your life who is this for you constantly shows up constantly is there for you is putting themselves um there for you is constantly being a source of joy a source of happiness a source of comfort a source of peace in your life you know that this is the one person that if you woke up at 3 a.m and had emergency you could call them hoping hoping they would answer and wake up you know hoping they're not

deep sleeper but you could call them and metaphorically they would be there for you within fucking seconds you know i'm sure every single one of those one of you listening has somebody like that and i'm sure a lot of you guys listening are also like that you know you also have that mentality and i think having that mentality is such a gift um it's such a blessing it brings such strong connections into your life which is incredible because we are put on this earth to connect and get to know each other and learn um but i don't think you should hinder yourself from being that obviously be that towards the right people but it is a blessing to be a ride or die i feel like you know people hear that and they're like oh what you're gonna put yourself aside for

other people but it's like yeah of course I mean not completely and always and fully and completely neglect myself but yeah I love being kind I love being compassionate I love being that reliable source for my friends for my family for my loved ones and for you guys um I want to continue being that so you know I want to be open and forward and honest I don't want it to seem like I'm neglecting this in any sort of way I understand that Tuesdays and Thursdays might just be a lot for me right now and like every single other podcaster on the face of this planet I'm fine with once a week for right now um until I get the rest of my content going I shoot my merch and I fall back into place you know what I mean I also just in general have been working a lot at work

we all see these rising costs we all see gas being fucking expensive my rents increased like all this shit is going down and yeah i gotta work more often i can't lie um and my work schedule is so weird that it's like if i don't wake up in time i don't have time to record a podcast and i've been scheduled a lot on tuesdays and thursdays which i used to take off which i should probably fix my schedule so i can be more consistent within that but i do apologize and i want you guys to know that i am here for you and i love you and if you're a ride or die bitch own that shit show up for your friends in any way possible show up in any way that you can the same way that you're a ride or die for yourself and you build that confidence within yourself and you

build that love and that self-love within yourself you can strengthen your your relationships with your friends and your family and the people that you constantly surround yourself with daily um i think of like the most important people in my life and yeah i would consider them a ride or die you know what i mean um at least in relationship to me so it's okay to be that it's okay to you know put your all into someone to put your all into something to be passionate about something um and i really really encourage you to do so i think it's such a blessing and a gift so shout out to all my writer dies out there you know what shout out to everybody who's been showing up all my writer dies for smoke sash for this podcast who have constantly supported constantly listened

um i've been binge listening this i really really appreciate it and i love you and i do this for you and i show up for you um and yeah i'm just so happy to be here and have this support and have this kind of relationship it is genuinely like i i've never felt like this is a toxic relationship in any sort of sense um so i just want to be clear be open with you guys and i love you that being said um this morning i awoke to a notification on my phone that roe v wade had been overturned by uh the supreme court and you know my boyfriend texted me and he's like how are you doing and I said I'm in mourning I really had no plans to make a podcast today I can't lie I had no plans to get up and record but I knew that if I just were sitting around this morning

you know indulging in caffeine which only heightens my anxiety and you know oh my fucking god if i was just to sit around and do nothing with my day i would go fucking crazy i would literally go insane so as a nice little coping mechanism i'm gonna get on here and i'm gonna talk to you guys and i'm gonna try and give yourself a little peace of mind that i have been trying to give myself this morning um first of all it's okay to be mad you should be mad you should be fucking pissed you should be seething you should be wanting to fight you should be wanting to stand up you should be wanting to say something like i saw this oh my god so i collect vintage playboys as you know and i saw this they have

these like little comics throughout playboys like little ones um and different artists do them but I was reading one playboy and it was on the whole theme of it there was an interview with Andy Warhol interview with like state senators about it's like the 1960s about student protests um and there's one topic or one comic that really stood out to me and it was like the school president sitting at his desk and a group of students standing in front of him and he's like fuck i wish i had it on me i'm at my boyfriend's house right now i literally just like woke up and started recording i was like i can't sit with my thoughts i need to talk i need to speak to you guys um but basically it was like uh thank you guys for being so uh peaceful for your protests

your your new generation is so peaceful now get the fuck out of my office like that was a comic and it really like showed me that it's like you know what we have been really peaceful we have been looking back on like all the women's right protests you know we show up you wear your pussy hats you wear you have your signs you give a few speeches and you leave you know like yes you're showing up for women you're showing up for everybody you're speaking out but holy shit like something needs to change and I feel like everybody everybody feels that way then again I don't really surround myself with right-wing people as you guys know I'm literally every time I see a pro-life sticker I like I discuss I honk and I flip them off it's super fun

and really cathartic I love it it's great um but like I'm so tired of being peaceful and be like sitting by while literal rights are being removed like yeah that should piss you off that should make you upset and they're like don't say you want to go you you hate the supreme court don't say that um yeah i fucking hate them straight up like are you kidding me you you think that i should feel okay about this you think i should be complicit besides this no no no no no there's a few things you can do there really is you have options um first of all this completely goes against a lot of religious rights a lot um the first thing me and my friends did in high school to kind of rebel against our parents is we um joined the church of satan we did um because

the one thing that they do and the one thing that they guarantee to do is protect your medical right to abortion um under them it is your religious right to have an abortion it was kind of cute they sent us little like cards that had like church of satan on it and then like his face and then it said your name so it's like an official member card which was funny and we did it kind of just like to see what would happen just to have fun we were bored in class one day of course we're going to sign up for it but a lot of religious practices protect women and protect their right to abortion so i say if you're non-religious that's fine maybe pick up one as a hobby just to have in your back pocket just to you know just in case number two there are still

abortions available right now and it's very important to look at what your state laws what state laws are going to change in your area and and how strict they're going to be where i'm from um i'm assuming all my neighboring states are going to remove the right to abortion other than Colorado and I think the state that I currently live in is going to criminalize plan b as well as IUDs so my first step will be replacing my IUD and I will happily and gleefully go through that pain even though it makes me want to pass out every time I think about it if it means that i don't have to deal with an abortion and how difficult it could possibly be to access one or a fucking child in the future okay i think it's very important to look at

how you're protecting yourself right now and how and changing your game plan on how you need to protect yourself in the future okay i think the pill should be available in most states i do um if you are in a state that does protect your right to abortion think your think your senators and think your government but also try and show up for the people who don't all right um but i think it's all about just planning for the future i unfortunately have no say in what the fucking supreme court does um literally panic attack mode but i have say in planning for my future and i do have a window of time where you know things are still available and i just need to start moving forward because i was scared to move forward because holy shit iud is hurt but now if

that option is being removed from me i i will more than happily get another one okay i personally love the iud personally if you're the kind of bitch who is forgetful if you're the type of bitch who loves unprotected sex if you're okay if you if you have multiple partners wear a condom get std tested but if you have a long-term partner whatever you know if you're the type of bitch who loves sex let's hear it yeah you should you should love sex well if you don't respect you know but there's nothing wrong with loving sex loving having sex you know protect yourself that's all i have to say and i will vouch for the iud i'm a forgetful ass bitch i have a lot of unprotected sex me and my boyfriend do and i um that's basically it let me think because it doesn't

protect you from stds you obviously need to go go get std tested that's very very important um i don't think they're removing that right thank god but you know if you're just worried about a baby in general and the pill and hormonal contraceptives kind of make you fucking insane like they do me the iud has been a great option it really has um i had it inserted oh a little over four years i'm definitely due for another one um and i have not thought about it since straight up other than like thinking about the pain it caused to get it in i have not thought about it since minor cramping afterwards the most painful thing is the insertion afterwards it's really not too bad um ask them to maybe do an ultrasound before to see how big your uterus is

because they're different sizes i personally chose to have the smallest one and the lowest hormone option which also is lower in years i think it's only three to four years um but there's other options that last up to 20 so keep that in mind but i think that's gonna be my game plan and also now is the time to show up for your friends and be this ride or die and show up for your fellow women and and be the ride or die that they need okay i'm gonna be going to protest i'm gonna be going to whatever i can to help out i'm gonna be donating to abortion funds um i'm gonna be trying to share helpful information that i can with you guys and the people i love but i think step one especially with this happening and holy shit it was so fucking close 51 people voted to

overturn roe versus wade and 49 voted not to literally like so close it's insane it's crazy be upset be pissed get fucking pissed off you should be there's no way you should sit complicit through this and be like oh well what what can i do there's so much you can do especially for yourself especially for your friends especially for your fellow women show up also for the men listening because i know there are men listening and if you have men in your life now is the time to look at who you're surrounding yourself with okay if they do not give a fuck about what other people are going through especially women what makes you think they're gonna give a fuck about you just because you're in closer proximity to them because i guarantee they will not if your

fellow men in your life are not pissed off if they are not just as upset as you if they are not speaking out on this if they are just sitting by and being like oh well uh what am i gonna do no get rid of them quite honestly like i'm serious at this point they are just as much hurting you as the people who voted like i'm not even kidding my boyfriend literally just got banned by the pro fucking life people on instagram because he was harassing them and bullying them like not that you know what yeah uh i don't want to get my podcast taken down but you know where i stand it was funny like we literally had a date and our date consisted of us making fun of pro-lifers on instagram it was fun we just had a giant bowl of guac in front of us

we made tostadas and we made fun of pro-lifers it was great i loved it i loved every second of it but that's the energy that you need to have within your life because if one of these men that you keep around that's just like well what am i gonna do if you get pregnant one day and all of a sudden his views change he's now in control of your body he now has way more say over your body than you do and then you're gonna have a child together and then you're gonna be tied to that man for 18 plus years because a commitment to a child is not just 18 years okay it is a lifelong commitment so keep that in fucking mind okay be mad be upset get rid of the shitty men in your life and show up for your fellow women that's all i have to say oh also protect yourself i think it's

just important to make a game plan you should be taking some sort of like if i had the choice i would like if i was celibate or something i would not be on any birth control okay that's like ideal just because birth control is so fucking tricky and there's a lot of negatives compared to the pros you know but at this point that's like a future fantasy world that i unfortunately will never get to live in and i will be having sex and i will not be having a child so you need to protect yourself accordingly all right as much as we love to live in fairy tales and fantasy worlds you do need to protect yourself so take a look at the medical procedures that might be best for you um what laws might be changing in your state and surrounding states

just look at the senators that you have and um what kind of views that they have that will basically kind of show you what the fuck might happen um also try and look into like possible if you're religious look into if your religion protects you if you're catholic i'm sorry you're shit out of fucking luck if you're christian you're also probably shit out of luck i can't lie so yeah get an iud get birth control make sure you're protected because the government does not give a fuck about you unfortunately sorry i'm really mad i hope this didn't send anybody into a spiral i was genuinely trying to give good advice here and i do think it is good advice because these are all the things that i'm thinking about literally an hour after receiving the

fucking message that roe v wade was overturned so protect yourself show up for your women in your life and we'll fucking get through this together babyless we will get through this together baby lists anyways sluts rise up rise up and take over the government also last thing vote i think it's very important if you see all those like uh purple pro-life stickers where it says vote yes to basically get or ban abortion in your state yeah as much as like voting seems redundant at this point and it's like but hannah what the fuck like is it even gonna do anything yes because here's the thing all these old fucks who believe you shouldn't have rights the only thing that they have to do with their free time because they're all retired and do not give a fuck about anybody

but themselves is they they ride for their fucking voting okay and they all show up and they show up in masses and they show up in waves okay so we gotta make sure young people are doing the same exact thing okay or else they're literally gonna vote out like all these very important things so pay attention to when your voting is i believe it'll be in august for most of them uh like what is it i don't know i know it's in august though oh my god there's this child staring at me through this window he's chewing on a hanger oh my god that's so symbolic anyways votes that's all i gotta say because these old fucking people love voting especially the republicans um so make sure that you're showing up and turning out babe all right i love you

anyways i'm gonna eat a yogurt and calm down because my gut health is in shambles right now and then probably make more some espresso and get into some questions i want us to you know still have some fun today still answer some questions so I'm gonna fly through a bunch and yeah let's get into it this is why I do what I do literally me not in the mood no thoughts until I all of a sudden had a lot of thoughts and of course I got to get on here and talk about it but I had someone dm me and be like bestie please post a pod today I need something especially for a day like today and it's like I'm glad we're all on the same wavelength I'm glad we understand that and I got you. I'm going to finish recording here soon so I can get this out to you guys before I

got to go to work in an hour. But we're going to fly through some questions that I got submitted on my Instagram. You guys already know my Instagram is at Hannah Marlene. You can submit anything to the DMs. I also put up a questionnaire once a week, usually around like Sunday, I like to say. Sunday is usually the best day that I like to post it, just so I have some time to prepare. so keep an eye out for that but um questions how do I talk out a problem logically with someone that struggles to realize and accept their mistakes um okay it's very hard to talk logically with someone who cannot see multiple points of perspective and I've had to realize this i've i also am this person sometimes um when i find myself talking in circles and circles and

circles and arguing in circles i literally sometimes you have to take a step back like because i do become this person sometimes i'm a gemini and like i don't know why i think everything's an argument but it's not it really isn't because i also grew up with a brother who is now a lawyer like literally sued the state of california for over two million dollars so like yeah uh we love to argue like it's just in our genes i think and it's never like harmful arguing like in my mind it's like you know it's fun to just like go back and forth um but to some people it is harmful and i see that and i understand that and i've done better now but when you are talking to somebody and i had to realize this also in past relationships where it would just be like constant fighting

constant arguing constant struggling i had to realize we just simply were not going to be able to see eye to eye and we simply were not going to be able to get along um because as much as i over communicated and as much as i showed up for them and as much as i you know put myself out there to make sure i was being heard if you are not accepted you will never be heard so really try and look at the relationships that you do have and you know when you are in these situations where you're like you know this person struggles to realize and accept their mistakes if they're hard-headed person who believes they can do no wrong it's you're you might not be able to change them and i'm not saying you should change them well it sounds like they might not be a great

person but it also is not your job to change them and if you can't put up with that and they're not going to be able to hear you out and show up for you and listen to you when you're trying to explain something it might not be worth the argument and then you have to reevaluate and be like is it even worth the relationship you know what i mean because also like me my parents used to get arguments a lot over like dumb shit and i had to realize okay i'm just not gonna bring this up and our relationship is perfectly fine like they don't need to know everything we don't need to argue over everything because our our arguments are dumb it's not over like big important things um so there is some ebb and flow but if somebody is like struggling to realize that they can make mistakes and they

refuse to apologize that's a character flaw straight up we as human humans need to be able to identify when we make mistakes and you know be open to doing better or else there's no growth there's no progression there's no change there's no becoming a better human being you know what i mean and that is a fatal character flaw oh this one hits home someone asked never having enough time and always being behind felt i feel like a majority of my life i have constantly felt like i am just behind like oh my god there's something i need to be doing like holy shit i'm missing out on this like what's going on like what am i not doing what do i need to be doing what did i mess up on like whoa chill out girl like overthinking to the max sorry oh my god you know what the best

purchase ever is sorry full adhd moment my parents got me an espresso machine holy shit i'm literally just sipping lattes all day long it is incredible it also has like a milk steamer attachment to it so it's like foamy oh bitch best thing ever anyways back to the topic we were discussing okay so here's the thing especially with my adhd mind who has a very hard time organizing things and getting things organized i need a planner i do and it's hard to find a planner that i like but when you find the right planner it really does help um i can't have pre-setup planners because i need free space to just write and draw and organize in whatever way that i enjoy um i have always always always carried a lined journal with me but if you're the kind of person

who likes a little bit more freedom of expression you like to do art and the lines seem to hold you back I really recommend a bullet journal and also this is something that I'm going to be posting on patreon as well is like weekly planners um and monthly planners as well to help you guys organize your day and organize yourself and organize your life and tasks but if you want to do it at home right now on your own I really recommend getting a bullet journal writing out every week so this will be like your Sunday routine right every week Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday sunday okay in a separate box all right or a separate sheet of paper or whatever you write down all your goals for the week okay just whatever they are anything it could be going for

a walk it could be getting your laundry done it could be okay picking up an extra shift at work it could be okay i need to get these papers done i have this test i need to study on these days right after you have all of those listed out delegate them and organize them by day so then you don't feel overwhelmed in some days you know you're not trying to get all that shit done at once you know delegate it so your days are pretty even okay set up time for you to like relax you know have some room to breathe so you don't feel like you're missing anything and also then once you have it all organized for your week make big picture plans so you have stuff to focus on for the future okay and little goals that you can do for the big future plans as well that you can

implement throughout your week so then you don't feel like you're behind you don't feel like you're missing out you know you're crossing things out physically on a list which really helps i love crossing shit out i don't know why my mom has always been like a list girly and she's always like crossing shit off her list and i love it like physically just drawing a black fucking line through something after i've done it oh my god nothing feels better um so i really recommend just you know making your own weekly planner so then you don't feel like you're as behind and you do kind of have a sense and i and an idea of what's going on within your week instead of just waking up and being like okay let me see if i can try and remember what i need to do today and then

at the end of the night only accomplishing half the things then being like fuck i forgot to do this and fuck i forgot to do this you know think ahead you know save yourself some stress save yourself some time save yourself some energy a lot of like planning goes fucking a long ways i promise you and i used to hate planning because i used to want to be like a spontaneous bitch and you know i just want to go with the flow and i just want to i realized that caused me a lot more anxiety than just like simply thinking ahead just like slightly just like slightly you know what i mean i promise set a little weekly planner for yourself you don't even have to do a monthly like sometimes monthly can get stressed uh stressful but also i liked monthly when i was in college

and there was like shit i wanted to plan for in the future totally up to you maybe like get a big wall monthly calendar that's fun um but yeah or like a little cat calendar you know how they make those monthly like fun calendars oh my god i'm going to need to get one of those for my apartment anyways oh my god someone asked me sex in public slash in front of other people um i do not think that is a good idea because you need to make sure everybody is consenting but if it's like an orgy and everybody is showing up and consenting then like vibes you know but if you're you know putting other people in a situation where they could be very uncomfortable stumbling onto you maybe don't do it you know what i mean and like listen i have i've had my moments where you know you it's the

back seat in in a parking lot like been there but like that's at night you know it's pretty secluded my boyfriend's got tinted windows you're chilling you know but or like in the i've definitely like been out oh my god tea time uh when i went to california we went to malibu and we went to one of these beaches and it was only like a mile long beach until there was like cliffs on either side um and we had the whole beach to ourselves it was like a fucking Wednesday morning you know what I mean like no one was at the beach obviously um and safe to say we got a little freaky on the beach but no one was there no one could see us there was no one around us I think that's fine that's chilling you know just be safe and be aware that other people need to consent

if you're gonna do it around other people anyways oh okay how to not get anxious for the future i feel as if i have to have every little detail planned out felt and that's how i succumb to the full like go with the flow lifestyle you know what i mean and i had to realize go with the flow lifestyle was mostly self-sabotaging because I just wasn't thinking about myself um see okay so you gotta look at like planning just like a little bit of planning I don't think overly planning is healthy in any sort of way but you know setting your future up for success and planning slightly is self-love I really do think it is you gotta be able to set yourself up for success because no one else is going to all right but overly planning and being like like i had this

counselor in fucking nursing school who was psycho well she had good intentions but it was like um it was like crazy because i was well i had a shitty gpa right so they send you to like an academic advisor to be like all right babe we're gonna get you back on track and like i didn't need this at the time because I was in a low place like I needed someone to kick my fucking ass you know what I mean but she was like she handed me a 15 minute schedule okay and she was like plan your day and plan every 15 minutes and what you're gonna do and what you're gonna eat and what you're gonna wear and I was like oh bitch that's too much like that is too much planning like it's okay to have to-dos for your day and then goals for your future yes but also your 20s and your teens

are all about learning what you do not like and all about learning how to grow from your mistakes okay so you gotta be open to trying new things and you gotta be open to you know letting your future be a little unknown okay i feel like a lot of adults want us to know what the fuck you want to do when we're 18 when in reality that like 18 to 29 is all about learning about yourself learning about where you fit in in the world and learning about what you want to do so if you don't have a set um you don't have like a set idea on what you want to do and you're feeling a little lost and you're feeling a little anxious for the future and you don't have anything planned out that's fine all i can encourage you to do is go try new things put yourself out there

a little bit more and learn about yourself that's all your 20s is for okay don't feel like anxious that you don't have like a full future planned out okay that's fine that's okay make to do's make goals make sure you have a thesis make sure you have something that you that is driving you and encouraging you and making you curious to the world okay but it's okay to not know what you're doing that's what your 20s is all about but you have to learn and in order to learn you have to try new things okay someone asked taking care of your body and i think this is a really good question because i feel like we're born and we're taught minimal self-care but taking care of your body comes in so many different ways okay so many different ways and I'm not gonna lie I did not

learn how to take care of my body until like now okay it comes in many different forms and there's probably many different things that you're thinking out of first of all it's like the first thing we learn is basic hygiene you know make sure your teeth are brushed make sure you're you're washing yourself you're staying clean okay very important i don't care how you clean as long as you take care of your body in that sort of hygienic way that's important and that could look like any any possibility like i wash my hair every single day and some girls would freak out because they only wash their hair like once a week i don't care how many times you fucking wash your hair as long as you're taking care of yourself um but um yeah oh my god my co-worker just texted me

said they have covid oh it's a good thing i haven't seen them in a week okay anyways where was i going basic hygiene step number one um also step number two that i really didn't think about um until it's too late is basic if you have access to um health insurance utilize that bitch utilize it as much as you fucking can if you can get free doctor's visits free medical tests um anything that's worrying you use it okay i'm about to use my health insurance to go get another iud all right so any way that you can possibly use it to take care of your body in that sort of way important make sure you're going to the dentist i didn't go to the dentist for a year and then i had five uh cavities which was a bitch to fucking get filled and one of them just broke so i have

go get filled again so if you take preventative measures you know you won't have these problems basic simple things I have a tendency of not thinking about my body okay because it overwhelms me but I feel like if you don't think about things and it piles up and then it gets worse all right number two which I'm trying to kind of you know get back on track with is eating the food you're eating of course you know i'm gonna eat my chicken wings i'm gonna eat my uh took my mcdonald's hamburger every once in a while i'm gonna eat my subway sandwich that's fine health people are losing their fucking minds hearing me say that but it's all about balance make sure you're eating some healthy foods within that make sure you're cooking for yourself i think cooking for yourself

is you can cook anything you want as long as you're cooking at home i feel like that does wonders for yourself and wonders for your body um and also wonders for your mind just because i work in a restaurant i know how much deep grease goes into shit all right and how much is fried when you wouldn't think it's fried and it's a lot there's a lot of fat there's a lot of processed stuff and i get it that's not good for your body so try if you can cooking from home cook get creative with your foods get creative with your meals something that i need to get on top of is general just like multivitamins all right i know i need like vitamin c in my life and probably some iron pills considering i'm anemic um would probably be important definitely need to get on top of that

it's small little simple things and also i feel like the biggest thing you can do for your body is simply listen to it all right when your gut is in shambles go eat some kimchi go eat some yogurt something that's going to help your gut help your gut health pay attention to if you're feeling lethargic you know maybe you need some more water making make sure you're drinking water i feel like water also does wonders for the brain and the body um making sure you're rested up listening to the cues of your body um when it comes to uh menstrual health as well i've been really getting into that and trying to listen to my body and i think it's super interesting and um kind of fun as well because i used to think it was something i should be ashamed of and not think about and now

that i am paying attention to it it's much much easier to go through the motions i realized for my body and this could be completely different for years um you know simply listening to my body that tampons make my cramps way worse i have no idea why um i literally bought tampons this week because i was going to my aunt's pool and you know i'm not gonna fucking free bleed in her pool it's weird like if it's my pool sure because I don't give a fuck but well obviously if I had my own pool in my own backyard that I was only using but you know pool with my family of course I'm gonna put a tampon in like what and my cramps got 10 times worse as soon as I took them out like immediately relieved don't know what was up with that you might never have that experience but

it's simply listening to the cues of your body and listening to what's going on it'll tell you okay listen to it also the best thing you can really do for your body as well is uh before you go to any doctor research them research the fuck out of them make sure they are going to listen to you and show up for you in the way that you would show up for yourself okay because i've been to doctors who just like treat me like shit and you're like what's going on like you're supposed to be a medical professional why are you being an asshole um and yeah so do some research make sure they're going to be on the same vibe for you and your body health is also very important to uh factoring in with your mental health um pay attention to your mental health pay

attention to any signs or cues that you might have that would show you know maybe we're going on a little downhill slope here maybe we need to gear up for some depression time you know what i mean and show up for yourself and don't just blow off your body and blow off yourself and kind of forget about it i think that's the worst thing that you can really do for your body i'm not some health freak who's gonna be like you need to only eat organic and non-gmo and you need to do yoga and listen we're all just doing our best if you can get out and walk and take a little walk and get physical or at least stretch yourself and stretch your hips or do whatever is bothering you get outside um you know try and eat relatively healthy like bitch i'm

chicken wings at least once a week so like i have nowhere to speak but you do what you can and you try and listen to your body and i think that's the most important thing that you can really do especially when there's so many fucking other things going on um also fuck there was one more thing i wanted to bring up with taking care of your body it was literally on this oh oh okay taking care of your body also means paying attention to who has access to it okay and i don't mean that in a weird slut shamey way i don't mean that in a weird christian celibacy way okay i just mean that the sexual partners that you are participating with make sure that they respect you and they respect your body all right i think that's very important i think i mean i've

been in situations where it's like what the fuck i feel like i just got used and that makes me feel kind of bad about my body in some sort of way like this is not good and you know if i could have stepped up and if i should i mean i should have but if i would have just saved myself from a little bit of pain by doing some forethinking that would have been awesome but i didn't and i've learned so i'm telling you to um make sure your sexual partners are showing up for you and another thing with roe v wade if you're sexual partners don't give a fuck about it red flag that is a red flag make sure they care about your body make sure they care about your rights make sure they care about you that's very very big very very important someone asked me are you on any

medication for your mental health slash how has it affected you um currently no should i be maybe am i no was i yes i was on many a different things many many many many things um for me personally i got to a point where i was like okay i'm chilling without i'm good me and my psychiatrist talked it over. I felt like my inconsistency with taking it was worse than me just not taking it altogether. She agreed. We talked it over. It's great. I'm in a place that I enjoy. But if I ever got to a place where I thought I might need medication again, would I be afraid to take it? No. I think it's very important. If you are in a place where you think you might need medication, a little bit of help, some SSRIs, find a trusted psychiatrist that you really, really believe

in and that really really has your back and work through it talk over all your options I feel like they're quick to just like give you something random um really really ask them what your options are and the pros and cons of each you know go into a discussion about each one um so you kind of have the option in choosing I think that's really helpful with the whole journey process because I felt like as soon as I was admitted to the psych ward which was the first step in my mental health journey quite honestly like I saw a therapist and then I immediately went to the psych ward um and then they immediately put me on medication I didn't have any choice in that medication I also didn't really like the first medication I was on it was a great option for

like a last resort kind of thing but I feel like you know discussing your options and discussing you know the types and what they do and just being open with your psychiatrist about that really helps the journey and aids in the process because you are allowed to choose and you are allowed to have that um you know choice over what you take do i think it's a great option yes um if you are interested in doing so i think you absolutely should um i have had no really negatives with it like huge huge negatives i know that people are like well it can make you more suicidal and it's like yes but also like i was on the verge of killing myself so if the possibility is that it's not going to then great love that incredible but i feel like the pros really

outweigh the negatives more so with mental health medication in my experience so if it helps you that is important that's the only thing that matters and i think you should go for it you know what i mean i don't think there should be a stigma around medication okay i gotta devour my chipotle burrito also if you want to know my chipotle order let me tell you it's the best fucking thing ever okay i used to swear by the bowls but i hate when the bowls get soggy the day after i think that's gross i can't eat a whole burrito because let me tell you what i put in it i've been going for the burrito lately okay you get it double wrapped very important i love the tortilla the tortilla is my favorite part double wrap it so they can stuff that bitch full all

right i get barbacoa um what is it just like shredded marinated beef love i feel like the carnitas is too fatty that's what i used to go for and then i was a veggie bitch for a while i only get veggie if i'm getting a bowl um but i get carne uh no sorry fuck i get barbacoa white rice black beans i sometimes get fajita veggies but i feel like in the burrito it makes it too soggy i usually only get fajita veggies if i'm getting a bowl and then i get corn the hot salsa and then i get double cheese double sour cream and extra extra lettuce i love lettuce and yeah double wrap that bitch oh oh my god is the best thing ever side of guac some chips hell yeah the best anyways this will be my last question because yeah i gotta devour my chipotle burrito get ready

for work i need to bartend tonight so holy shit it's been cloudy here for like the past four days which is really nice and i'm i'm thinking we might be busy because of it because it's a good it's a good cloudy day restaurant the one i work at so i'm excited hopefully gonna make some money so i can do some online shopping i really need a coffee table that's what i'm going for next but someone asked me I think this is a fun one to end off on but um your top five fave artists right now and I'm not sure if you meant like artists artists or if you meant like musician artists so I'm gonna just give it give you all of them okay I'm gonna give you all of them first of all when it comes to musicians right now my favorites that I've been binging are Kali Uchis

and the marias and lana del rey i don't know what lovey-dovey vibe i'm in it's good for cancer season you know the sexy seductive women love it i've been obsessed with that that vibe recently yes everything about it so that's kind of the kind of music i've been listening to recently k trinata is always up there always listening to him as well but i've been realizing a lot of like kelly uchi's beats i feel like are produced by him so much to think about anyways another artist i've been into and somebody that i also talked about to my boyfriend the other day and i totally forgot but i actually studied under her for about a like a semester in art school and i feel so lucky to have done so and she's so incredible and so inspiring and she taught me a lot about art

and she's one of the only people at my art school that i really really like fucking enjoyed um learning under and it's her name's anna schulit haber she's incredible um speaking of mental health i knew her before i'd even met her because i was obsessed with her work on tumblr and you guys might have seen it before but when she was younger and one of the first big she kind of focused on like installation art and like kind of big performance art pieces in a interesting sort of way she also does like classical painting i did a life um drawing and studying class through her hold on i'm gonna sneeze but this this is a piece that i think is gonna forever live in my brain and I really want to get a big print of some of her photography from it but um

she we were talking me and my boyfriend he's like wow like because well first of all I had I have two people in my family that were in the hospital my niece was born she's incredible she's lovely her name is Francis um beautiful beautiful little baby girl so excited she was born on the summer solstice so you know she's about to be a witch but um and then also my grandmother was in the hospital she broke her hip but it's like you know me and my boyfriend talking and it's like you know all these people like I brought them cupcakes like people bringing flowers balloons like everybody gets shit in the hospital but when you go to the psych ward like I have you know you go and you get out and it's just like you don't speak about it no one there's no oh I'm glad you

made through it oh like I'm so glad you know you got through it like here's some here's some gifts here's some flowers here's some encouragement except for my friends dead my friends were some real ones and they're hilarious in my psych ward there was literally no windows like it was basically a prison and so they got me a basket full of stuff that like reminded them of the outside world so they got me like a wildflower candle and like wildflower scented lotion and like a card with flowers on it with like a meadow so you i could like see outside hilarious i could not see these gifts until after i got out of the hospital because you can't bring things for visitors but still i remember that to this day and that was incredible and so funny but why are

mental health patients treated with such disdain why don't we talk about it when it's so common and so many people suffer from this why don't we offer them the same like encouragement that we do other people in the hospital and it's simply because there's a stigma on mental health so she there's like this abandoned um mental institution where she lived i'm not sure if it was where she's from or here in america i need to do some more research i could have some more information i really really encourage you to look her up anna schule haber but um uh she basically went to this you know a mental institution and she was going through files and looking at it and she was going to do a installation piece and the one thing that she kind of found

common was you know no one ever brings these people flowers you know everybody in the hospital always gets flowers all these flowers all these get well suits but no one ever brings these people flowers they dump them at these mental institutions and they forget about them and they never bring it up again and it's a huge issue so she shipped in like millions of flowers and filled these rooms full of fresh flowers like truckloads of fresh flowers um like the most beautiful pictures and photography i have ever fucking seen of these like this like contrast of the abandoned decrepit like building that's falling apart and the old chairs and the old desks with these brand new fresh beautiful vibrant flowers and she was very particular in the color she's choosing and the

type of flowers and it was just so interesting to like see on tumblr in like 2012 and then also sit down in her class with her and talk about it and learn about it firsthand she taught me so much about art so much about like driving yourself and then also i went through like a breakup in her class and like i feel like professors are either really like they they get you and they understand the human emotion or they don't they don't give a fuck about anything you're going through and when they do show up for you and they offer those words of encouragement it's incredible I just remember one day sitting in studio and like sobbing over this boy that I we had broken up and you know I'm like ripping apart this piece of art that I had done because

I hated it and she's like it's okay to be upset but you need to make something new out of it and so like i took these ripped up pieces of paper and i re-collaged it and remade a whole brand new piece of art out of it and she was very supportive of me and it was just incredible and she's incredible and i love her she's a great artist and i really encourage you to look up uh her art and her photography if you want to see the photos you can basically just search up no flowers in the psych ward um it's a you that's just the easiest way to kind of find it and there's an article by The Atlantic about it, and you can see all the photos there. Another artist that's been inspiring me, which is very odd, very interesting, is Playboy. Like I said, I collect

vintage Playboys. There are just so many articles and interviews with the women in these magazines about their life, and then interviews from, like, very strange public figures, and art, and, like, poetry and it's so interesting and i love collecting them and i love reading them um and it's like very interesting to do so because these are all vintage these are all pre-owned and i know the people that did own these were older men who were just like looking at these as sexual images sexual exploit exploitation but it's like i open these pages and i see art i see creativity i see like so much possibility and these young women just like incredible beautiful and so passionate because they interview them they tell them tell the magazine a little bit

about themselves the first one i got was actually a centerfold from my state from like my city which was so funny to see um but yes if you can ever find a vintage playboy i really encourage you to pick it up and just flip through the pages and read it's kind of there's always like funny things there's some outlandish things there's some like hilarious sex tips um but yeah i've been really enjoying that right now um there's one more artist well two more actually i want to get two first of all sigh swoon um you can find her on instagram on tumblr she's incredible she's a poet she's kind of like a modern day philosopher i want to say quite honestly and she just talks a lot about the human existence and what it's like to be a human and i immediately as soon as she

said she's releasing a book i have that shit on pre-order and i'm so excited to fucking get it um she's probably changed your life if you've ever consumed any tumblr media um and you just didn't realize it so i really encourage you looking into the content that she is making and how she is kind of you know combating the idea of human existential dread with like memes and with poetry and with really really incredible works of art um love her incredible stuff that she's doing she really makes me feel a lot less alone on this planet and through everything that I'm going through and I think that's really inspired me to kind of be that for other people as well and show up for other people another poet that I've been loving is Yumi Sakugawa

you can find her on Instagram I think that's where she posts most of her stuff but it's Yumi Sakugawa um why you am I and you should be able to find the rest I post a lot of her stuff so you've probably seen her stuff by now, but another incredible poet, I have a book of hers that's also really, really great and incredible, so really encourage you supporting her, checking her out, and lastly, another visual artist that I love, and I love the content that she's making and her artistic creativity um is Odeh Laval you can find her on Instagram uh Odeh Laval I don't know how else to explain that but she does painting and she's really inspiring me to kind of get back into painting and get back into creating and no matter how messy or how crazy

your ideas might seem um you should have a canvas to put them on in a way to express yourself and it's kind of like dark and sultry and like hot and sexy the art she does she did kelly uchi's um like ep album cover where it's like literally a painting of her eating her old self out love it incredible she makes incredible art and i'm definitely gonna get a print of her stuff for my apartment but yeah that's kind of the artists that i've really been enjoying lately and i hope that provides you some inspiration and i hope this provides you some you know peace and sanctuary especially on a day like today where i think we all just needed a i don't even know i don't even know what we need i just know i need to i needed to put this out there and reach out to you guys

and just let you know that i love you and i'm showing up for you guys and no matter how hopeless the world might seem um we have each other and we can show up for each other and we can be each other's ride or dies you know we can be each other's go-to's we can constantly show up and be there for each other even when it seems like no one else is um i will always be here for you guys and i love you so much and i really really hope you guys have a try and make the best of your day show up for your fellow women be ride or dies for the people in your life um and yeah i will see you all again next week hopefully merch will be here soon i'm gonna keep working on new content new creative ideas new stuff i want to start doing maybe some live streams soon

which will be super duper fun because i can actually smoke on instagram which i'm finally getting up like a space setup in my apartment which has been a big goal of mine so stay tuned for some very big things and once again any questions that you do have please submit them to my instagram at hannah marlene i'm in desperate need of some good juicy questions literally anything anything it could be how long are your toes bitch and I would say long it could be how often do you brush your teeth it could be you know like anything what was the name of your first animal like it could be security questions no I'm kidding I'm not gonna answer security questions but like I'm here for you I want to be here for you I want to answer your most interesting your

craziest anything that's possibly on your mind that you like would never ask anybody else like i'm here for it i promise i've been through it i promise i've googled it i promise i've been on a reddit thread about it and i promise i know more than them but you know together we'll get through it and i love you so so much i also need more call-ins my call-in link is in my bio of my instagram at hannah marlene i love hearing your guys's voice i love connecting with you guys and a lot of you guys have been sending voice memos to my instagram dms unfortunately i cannot take the voice memos from my instagram dms and upload them into my podcast you have to do it through the link in my bio um it'll be like colin's um submission here and literally in my link tree

and you could just click there and then it'll be like a record button on the very bottom and you can submit them there very easy very user friendly if i can do it you can do it and i love you thank you for being here thank you for bringing you thank you for showing up um and i will see you all next week please try and have a wonderful friday try and make the best of your day try and find a little peace and do something for yourself do something that's going to make you feel better do something that's going to help yourself i think that's a really key important thing for today especially a day like today i love you and i will see you all next week