Smoke Sesh - running away, getting lost & finding yourself

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

hello all and welcome back! this episode of smoke sesh is a Colorado trip story time with a dose of inspiration for living life, we talk my trip, Boulder, girls trips, running away to the mountains, 2 am hikes, sunset watches, mushrooms, moose encounters, wine drunk, making friends with hippies, becoming one with the land, getting lost, Aspen, entitled people, rich people, bad parenting, what is class, having taste, going out, rodeos, horseback riding, living for the now, getting outside, not waiting, taking advantage of life, saying yes to everything and much much much more! we will be back to regularly scheduled content next week so submit your Q's and call ins to my instagram @ hannahmarlene as well as see my photos from the trip, join the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty for exclusive podcast episodes where I answer EVERY question- plus much more, see you next Tuesday! MUAH

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and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello and welcome back to another fun and sexy little episode of the smoke sesh podcast you guys i am back from vacation i feel like genuinely i have been gone a month

maybe two months my trip was so quick i mean it was a week and a week can feel like a long time when you're planning it but once you're in the depths of a week-long trip you are like holy shit I am living 80 different lives in the span of such a short amount of time and truly uh you guys I had the best time ever if you were following along on my Instagram stories you know I was just we got up to a lot okay when me and the girls get together we are booked we are busy we are in the car we are driving we are in a river we are on horseback girl we are everywhere and truly wow why did i not take a vacation sooner i think my as we're rounding out this um 2025 year yes i know rounding out can you believe like it's almost fall halloween season oh my fucking god but as

we're kind of rounding out to the end of the year i truly am looking back on this past year and i'm realizing I need to travel more every time I travel I get back and I'm like I just need to be out there more I need to be gone more I need to be experiencing the world more I need to be trying new things putting myself out there I think I always learn so much from myself and so much about myself when I travel to these different places it doesn't matter where there's always so much to learn in tandem with the world around you and just escaping to the mountains and being in the country was exactly what i needed for this end of summer vacay oh my god it was just so incredibly beautiful i do have one more trip coming up before the end of the year i'm going

to tokyo which is going to be also so much fucking fun but wow you guys i am ready to pack up everything to move to the mountains somewhere i don't care where to live on a ranch in nature alone quiet peaceful with some chickens maybe some goats I don't know but I am ready to sell everything and just be in the woods with nature and I'm so glad that that's exactly what I got during this trip to be fair if you need a little bit of whimsy if you need a little bit of inspiration a dose of positivity and hope for your life and for the end of summer I think this is going to be a perfect episode for you guys because that is what I am bringing forth that's kind of what I took from my trip and this is going to be mostly a trip recap episode so get yourself a

snack settle down maybe have a little smoke take a little drink ooh and let's get into it so I went to Colorado with my friends Colorado for me is just always such an easy trip because we live so close we live so close to Colorado it's only a 10 hour drive you're like girl 10 hours truly you're just driving through the plains most of the time so you can kind of just like check out and make sure you're in the right lane and blast to Colorado pretty pretty quickly I have done trips to Colorado previously one of which was with my parents in high school which looking back I was so miserable during this trip but it was like the summer before my senior year of high school and they had taken me out to the forest to go camping with them with zero cell service and I had like a

little situationship at the time talk about miserable truly it was probably what I needed exactly at that time and I look back with fondness of that trip but I do know during that time I was like why the fuck am I in the woods with no cell service with my parents like what the fuck is going on you know what I mean so I've done kind of a trip like that like in-depth camping trip I've also done like more of a city trip one could say to Denver love my Denver girlies I don't think that is a place that i would choose to live it kind of does feel like one big shopping mall maybe i'm going to the wrong places and that's my bad very jealous you guys are that close to amazing beautiful things but this time around we went to boulder for two nights because it was near

the rocky mountains in estes park and then we spent four nights out in basalt which is close to aspen i know i was saying aspen aspen trip aspen trip but aspen's fucking expensive which we'll get into it so we were just hoping to go near so we could get some of the beauty be able to visit the town and also just be a little bit further out of that city and more so in the mountains boulder was so incredibly beautiful i didn't realize how cute of a little town it was it is a college town but you never would have guessed like all of the college buildings are so gorgeous they blend in perfectly with the scenery i used to say all the time because so back when i was in my rave era whenever i needed like outfit inspo i was either looking

at the australian girlies and their summer festival outfits because they are always on point or i was looking at the cu boulder sorority girls because they were big ravers and their outfits always ate ate so i used to be like oh my god my biggest mistake in life was not going to see you boulder because i think i truly would have lived my best life there but uh being there and actually seeing the campus I was like oh my god I wish I wish it was such a cute town it was so close to everything everybody there was also really really incredibly nice I mean the town is pretty hippy if I do say so myself and hippies in in their general thesis of life is like peace love care you know what I mean so of course they were kind sweet people but we stayed at a really really nice

hotel which oh my god very impressed it was the moxie hotel if you need a place to stay in boulder tens across the board highly recommend i think it's a marriott bonvoy hotel but it was so cute and the service was incredible we'll get into that in a second but our first day was basically just driving and then like grabbing food and passing out because the next morning we were waking up at 2 30 a.m yes alarm at 2 30 to get to the trailhead because we were gonna hike to lake jaea i'm probably saying that wrong so sorry the three lakes trail and we did not book a timed entry pass which timed entry when it comes to the national parks is very important because they don't want a stampede of people going through these national parks especially when they're so

understaffed they want to make sure that there's only like a certain amount of people out there you can track them if they do get lost or anything bad happens and also like nature isn't just getting trampled by a million kajillion people so we did not have a timed entry pass but lucky for us the national parks do allow people into the park if you get there before 5 a.m and we in boulder were about an hour an hour and a half from the trailhead thus the 2 30 wake up call so that shit went off bright and early oh my god losing my mind somehow managed to slap on some makeup got up in the car driving amazing beautiful all the stars wow gorgeous we pull up to the trail head pitch black outside to the point where we have headlights strapped onto our faces because

if we did not have headlamps there we would have had no clue where we were going now here's the thing I am a hiker I'm pretty athletic I was born with very athletic genes thank you parents I appreciate that my dad has always been a trail runner a lifter a runner in general great stamina my mom has always done like yoga very flexible very just they're both very athletic people so I was born with those genes thank god but my friends the friends I traveled with I knew that this was going to test them a bit because they are not as athletic as me and like no hate love them endlessly but i knew going up this mountain of like a thousand feet of elevation i was gonna have to be like no we're almost there we're almost there and in the pitch black that does make life a

bit easier but we start on this trailhead i'm talking pitch black to the point where we were walking past coming down what we knew was a massive beautiful gorgeous lake and we couldn't see it in the dark we had no idea we were even hiking past any of these things because it was so pitch black in the middle of these woods and honestly it was so gorgeous i was having the time of my life like it did kind of give blair witch project with the headlamps in the in the pine needles like someone could have popped up and killed us immediately yes for sure but it was three versus one i'm assuming what it would have been so girls we were deep in there deep in those woods my friend listen if you're going hiking pack minimally the one thing you really need is water

truly so pack enough of that maybe a little protein bar of course bear spray but you don't need anything else outside of that my friend she packed what I would consider like a four-year-old in her backpack like it probably weighed 75 pounds so I'm dragging her up the side of this mountain she's like I can't do it I can't do it girls I can't fucking do it so I'm like give me your backpack I'll carry your backpack and mine just like keep pushing you got this girl so I carried her backpack all the way up the mountain it was beautiful because right when we were summiting like the sun was starting to peak right over the mountains you guys my instagram is going to be crazy this week with all the photos i took and like reels and videos so please go follow at

hannah marlene if you want to see what i was up to but as soon as we started summiting the sun was peaking over the mountains there were some of the like photogenic people out there who were like taking photos of the sun rising i was like oh not to be in your way we're making our way trust um but what I love if you ever go hiking you have to use all trails but what I love about all trails is it'll never tell you the truth it won't it'll be like moderate hike girl why am I climbing on all fours over boulders why am I like putting my life at risk over on a moderate trail I can only imagine what these hard trails are like which I do want to do in the future I think it'd be so fun but we were like climbing over boulders I felt like I needed gear you know we were passing people

who were like fully geared up and were just some girls in like cute outfits in a backpack like truly trying to make the best of it but we ended up getting to Lake Haiea right in time for sunrise if you ever do that hike I highly recommend just doing the sunrise hike it is so worth it I also felt like hiking in the dark was easier because I wasn't like I wasn't able to see how much further I was supposed to be going so it was truly just like a oh well I hope we're almost there you know I feel like sometimes when I can see the end I'm like oh my god this is more painful like every step I take is more painful than if I just didn't know where I was going so hiking in the dark was amazing for me personally I don't think my friends would agree but we ended up getting to the lake

it was beautiful the water is like so blue I love an alpine lake if you saw my photos from last year when we went to the tetons and we're swimming in this like glacier lake and you can see the mountain behind us with the water running down oh my god the most beautiful picture i've ever honestly the most beautiful place i've ever been in my entire life and i do want to get back to the tetons i think i did leave my heart there when i left last time alpine lakes are everything to me they are so crystal clear they are beautiful they're freezing cold but they have the most beautiful water and they're surrounded by like mountains you really can't beat them if you're going to do any sort of hike like i'm not hiking a 14er up to the top of a mountain i don't give a fuck unless there's

a lake there like I need a view to smoke my weed and eat my sandwich do you know what I mean anyways we encountered many of Karen's on this trip I don't know what was going on I think they were just jealous of our youth which number one thing I will be when I'm older is not jealous of other people's youth because girls are just being girls and like they're gonna be girls let them be women let them be girls you know how can I hate on that are you kidding me so when other women hate on that it just kind of pisses me off because sorry you're miserable i don't know but we get to the top of this lake we had just hiked five miles all up hill of course we're gonna be taking some goddamn fucking photos they're already uploaded on my instagram go check them out

but like hello it's sunrise it's beautiful everybody's glowing it's gorgeous i'm gonna be taking photos anyways we had hiked around this couple because they were being they were moving slow hello get out of my way and we passed them and we were up there we were taking photos and they ended up like coming near where we were and i just hear the lady go me selfie stick in hand i hear the lady go see this is why i do the eight miles because you the instagram girls are never on the eight mile trails girl we got to this trail before you and hiked around you and are doing the eight mile trail what the fuck do you have to say sorry we took the good boulder sorry we are getting the good shots bye stay miserable go ahead and hike back down that

mountain and best believe they did they turned their asses around hiked back down that mountain goodbye get out of my area because what do you mean hello once in a lifetime i'm so hot right now i just hiked how many goddamn miles up this fucking mountain i'm going to get a good photo it's not like we're the only people that are taking photos i mean there's only a handful of people there at that time probably like 10 people and they were all taking photos too girl they just love to hate on a hot woman i will say that that's for sure anyways they got their asses out there we kept taking photos and then like i mean there's people hiking around whatever checking it out because it's just so gorgeous and we did find a great spot to stand where you can

see the water it was beautiful and these three guys hike up and you're like oh my god starts to a horror story no no no i'm pretty good at feeling out energy i would like to say and like whenever a man shows up i'm always going to be like let me side eye them real quick let me check their energy but these people seem chill as fuck like they were just they were like doing their own thing over there and the way they were talking to each other i was like it sounds like they don't know each other i'm confused whatever but they approached us and they were like hey can we climb down to the boulder you're on which is a massive rock and like take some photos we just want to get closer to the water thank you for asking permission instead of just walking up on three random women

in the woods like that's what i like to see i could trust you know yeah whatever hike down here we don't give a fuck like there's plenty of room on this goddamn boulder hello so they hiked down there i noticed this man is in black nike air forces why the hell did you just summit this mountain at sunrise in black nike air forces not prepared at all like drawstring bag there's these other two guys and they were like can you take a photo of us like we traveled here from canada hello so the two two of the guys knew each other the other guy they're like yeah we met in the parking lot he's like i'm on mushrooms and i didn't know where else to go so i came here to go hiking bruh you are on mushrooms in black air forces summiting this mountain climbing up this

mountain truly i was impressed i was like oh my god what the hell okay and you know we need good group photos too so they took photos of us we took photos of them they gave us space they sat down they meditated very cutesy i was like this is really precious love this energy and then yeah we started talking and the guy on mushrooms was like oh my god we are hiking up this mountain and i thought i saw like a deer i thought it was a deer so i figured i could just pass but it was a baby moose and they had this on video since they were walking past the baby moose the mom came out of the bushes and started like trampling towards him legs flying as if he she was going to stomped this motherfucker out and he's on so many mushrooms i looked into this man's eyes they were

pitch black like that many mushrooms i was like and you're asking it turn back around and head back down that mountain what in the hell thank god we did not experience that but oh my fucking god proud of you glad you survived but please you have no understanding for safety at all but like what the hell it is 5 30 in the morning at this point in time what is going on what is our lives what is happening they ended up walking away you know safe travels or whatever and then we hiked back down the mountain and it was nice because we were finishing our hike it was probably like 7 a.m by the time we made it to the bottom of the mountain and that's when the busloads of people were finally getting off the bus getting dropped off we were hiking past like hundreds of people

who were hiking into the into the mountains and i saw some interesting hiking fits i saw a girl in platform Crocs and a sundress I was like you know what no hate I'm not gonna be a Karen but like that's high-key impressive because I was fully suited and booted up I'm talking north face jacket matching set really nice hiking boots hiking stick backpack with water like I was prepared and still I was struggling so like props to her for being able to do that but what the hell it was like a fever dream truly it was so beautiful though i i just need to get into hiking more i live so close that it's like oh my god i just need to take a weekend like every once in a while and just get out to the mountains and just get on a trail and get lost a little bit i

mean not not lost but like lost in my mind go out and experience it really showed me that like damn whatever you want to do whatever you set your mind to you can go do it like it does not matter if you want to get it done you can get it done after we hiked this I saw a reel of a girl who was like it's 6 a.m I gotta pack up the tent so I can make it to work at 9 she's like I'm not going to sacrifice like my off time by not living the life I want to live like if I have the time off I'm going to go out into the woods and hike and camp and then pack my shit up and make it in home make it home for work you know like I'm going to utilize as much time I have on this planet to live the life I want to live and that resonated so much with me because it's like I do wait a lot for

the perfect conditions I'm sure you guys are like me too you know highly anxious highly sensitive where it's like you kind of wait and wait and wait for the perfect conditions but girl the the time is nigh is that is that a saying girl we have no more time to wait there is no time to wait the world is slipping us by life is slipping us by we need to take advantage of the life that we want to live and do it now so that was a big big eye-opening moment of just like god damn i just summited a mountain eight miles total five miles uphill in the pitch black you know fucking headly i'm strapped on in the dark living my best life made it to the top of a mountain to an alpine lake at sunrise like what is my life what is going on this is amazing this

is beautiful why am i not doing this more often there's so many times during my trip where i was like I'm so happy with where I am but like how can I do this more because it is so fulfilling right now like I am living my best life I'm enjoying my time how can I do this more often and it's like oh I could up and move my entire life to the mountains sure but I there's also other ways I could take advantage of it just by like small weekend trips just flying out there car camping whatever it is like you can make it happen whatever you set your mind to whatever you want to do you can make it happen sure sometimes it comes with a 2 30 wake up call sometimes it comes with like hiking in the dark sometimes it comes with like a 10 hour drive the day before whatever it

is like whatever you need to do whatever you want to do you can create that you can do that period and this was all free minus the gas money this was all free everything we've done so far was pretty much free the whole hiking experience how life-changing and amazing it was i think we we really have this idea that like with experience it takes money and sure a little bit of money like a little bit of prep backpack water good hiking shoes whatever it is but truly it costs us nothing to have that amazing experience to get out into the woods to you know experience the sunrise the top of a mountain and that's what life is about the experiences not the money behind it or how much it's going to cost us just getting out there going forth and living life truly and fully

anyways we made it back to oh my god SS Park was very cute very cute little mountain town adorable there's hummingbirds everywhere I've never seen that many hummingbirds in my entire life um if you need a good park to go to I loved Rocky Mountain National Park I thought it was beautiful there's many more hikes that I want to explore out there um we did the Lake Hiaia Emerald Lake and then um the little pond like right by the parking area that was like the full hike and i think it took it took us probably like i think four hours total but we did sit at the top of the mountain for at least an hour and i mean my beginner friends definitely had a bit of a harder time but they did it if they can do it you can do it too um don't hold yourself back go out

there i mean don't go alone make sure people know where you are but go out there go some of that mountain bitch you got this truly it built a lot of confidence within myself of like okay i can do this shit you know like I'm out here I can do this you know what I mean life is meant to be lived and experienced and enjoyed bitch get the fuck out there and get to work okay go summit that mountain but we made it back to Boulder probably high key I think by like 12 30 like we had already been up for 10 12 hours by the time everybody else was just waking up so we've actually we went back to the hotel you know showered laid down because we were gonna go out that night um passed out and at like three o'clock like mid-nap we hear this knocking on the door

like bam bam bam like who the hell is knocking on our door in the middle of the afternoon what is going on so my friend gets up she goes to the door she opens it up she's like hey like what's going on and the girl's like um hi i'm just with marriott bonvoy i'm with the moxie hotel and we heard you guys are on a girl's trip so we wanted to drop off some goodies for you i'll just leave them outside the door i can tell you guys are busy we're like okay yeah sure she closes the door and then they leave the presents out there they left us pink cowgirl hats cowboy boots shock glasses hangover stuff like so incredibly cute and sweet i was like oh my god how'd they find out they just see three cute little girlies walk in and they want to pay it forward it was

adorable and it was perfect because we were out there for my friend's birthday it was like okay girl here's your birthday hat here's your birthday cowgirl hat you know what i mean oh my god but that was so sweet and then we went to downtown boulder um very cute little area we were just walking the pearl street mall which many people recommended we ended up eating at this little sushi place which was amazing i think it was called like sushi i was gonna say sushi hana but it was sushi hoppa oh my god it was fantastic it was so good sushi was fire it got me really excited for tokyo because i was like oh my god i cannot wait to like only eat sushi for three meals a day it's gonna be fantastic um and then we ended up at this little like wine spot we were

we were gonna go to like a little dive bar whatever but we ended up at this place that was selling bottles of wine very cutesy whatever so we sat down we had a bottle of wine like i said the boulder people very hippie dippy but very friendly this girl was out of sorts i don't know what was going on in her head but like i get it sometimes i'm serving and i'm the only one there and i get overwhelmed too but we got our wine we were hanging out all of a sudden everybody was gone and i was like oh my god they're closing soon let's kill this bottle of wine also let me go buy another bottle to take home with me um to the airbnb so we can have it like with dinner at some point so i go inside i'm like hey girl like here's the bill and also like can i um can you

add another bottle of wine to our tab so we could take it home just like oh my god i'm so sorry i didn't know you guys were out there like me and service girlies i get you i got you i will never stress you out if i can help i will help if i can like show support in any sort of way i'm just like no no i'm in the service industry do not apologize to me at all i do so okay if i can make my server feel at home absolutely I will do that she's like it's just it was a busy day today and I have a lot going on and I'm meeting this guy after work and I'm a little nervous so like I'm so sorry if I'm a little spacey I'm like girl I get you just can you bag that bottle of wine up I'll get to work for you so I start going around the little wine area because there's no one else there than us

picking up all the wine glasses for her taking them back to the bar she's like oh my god you're so sweet can i give you a hug yes girl of course you can give me a hug so we hug we have a little kiki a little chat i get my bottle of wine i tip her fat i'm like good luck with your man tonight sending you good vibes i go outside my friends are like did you just hug that girl i was like yeah she wanted a hug i don't know what am i gonna do say no to a hug this girl's vibing i'm helping her out you know hopefully i made her night a little bit easier but she was so sweet she's like i love your energy i love a woo woo bitch she was like i love your energy yes that's what i'm trying to bring forth like i don't ever want to be the weird standoff girl that's like give me my bottle

of wine like bitch shut up like have a good time you know go help this lady out whatever that was really precious we got really wine drunk that night we got so wine drunk because we had a bottle of wine then we went to like a little dive bar down the street i had a vodka soda and then we back to the hotel changed into comfy clothes went down to the hotel bar because at the moxie they give you a free like a free token for a drink like a glass of wine a beer or a coffee best believe we were going to use that on a glass of wine but this man was filling up water cups with wine he split a bottle and a half between three water cups and handed it to us we each had a bottle and or a half a bottle in our not wine glass water cup that he handed to us and not only do we have one

but we had two and we were laughing and kiki and downstairs in the foyer there was this performative man next to us with his muscle t on in his book this man was just trying to read his book he did not flip one page because he was sitting next to us and i know he was just locked in on our on our stories the entire time because of course we like to beat a dead horse you know we are going to talk about high school stories till we fucking die hello so we're over there kicking about the craziest of crazy experiences that we had in high school and college and this man did not turn one page he was like looking over his shoulder at us i know judging us but bitch i'm a bottle and a half deep at this point there is no holding me back at all so of course he got up and left bye bye have

fun with your book that you just cracked open we were down there probably till like 1 a.m just we're just girls we're just having a good time back upstairs pass the fuck out wake up the next morning um and we had to pack everything up because that's the day that we were heading to aspen to basalt actually which is so funny and my parents were like oh yeah we had our honeymoon in basalt what what in the world what were you guys doing there for your honeymoon they were big into skiing at the time so that makes a lot of sense because I mean in Colorado like Vail Breckenridge Basal Aspen these are all massive ski towns I'm not a skier you will not catch me in the cold layered up going down a mountain on skis I grew up water skiing I fuck with that I love water

skiing I love wakeboarding that's fine and dandy with me it's hot I'm in a swimsuit perfect I'm in water skiing down a mountain in the snow it's just it's not for me and everybody else in my family is like very much skiers like my grandma grew up skiing my grandpa grew up skiing my parents both grew up skiing um my grandma literally went down a mountain hit a tree broke both legs skiing when my dad was probably like i don't know five or something i think they were out in crested butte doing that hello what the actual hell i don't need both legs broken if my friends ever want to do a ski trip I'm doing a spa trip they can go ski down that mountain and I'm gonna sit at the bar and drink and then go to a spa hopefully like I just I'm not that girl

so going there during the summer was perfect it was a vibe we stopped in Vail to have some lunch Vail not a fan it felt very fake like everything felt like built you know which is fine because that's how it was done hello Hannah yes it was fucking built but it felt very like transplant built like it didn't mesh well with the mountains it didn't mesh well with the area it did kind of feel like I was in a frozen movie do you know what I mean like the town Arendelle oh my god just pull that out of the depths of my brain but like I was in Arendelle a little bit but it was the summertime so it's a bit slow we went to this like little bar had a sandwich we're like okay let's get the fuck out of here you know it was cute but next you know what i mean i think during

the winter it could have been adorable but in the summer it felt definitely out of place and from boulder to where we were going is about three hours three and a half hours so you're like okay cute we had our moment let's keep it pushing we end up making it to basal if you're going to aspen or anywhere near i highly recommend this little town it was so perfect and so adorable all the houses are beautiful they're all tucked up in the mountains so i mean you kind of have to go off-roading a little bit but it was perfect we had our space we had a beautiful view of the mountains it was genuinely breathtaking we pulled up there was a sunset happening i was like you guys i need to go frolic i need to go lay in the grass i need to go like rejuvenate my heart chakra i don't know

what the fuck but like this is beautiful i'm so lucky to be here how gorgeous there were apple trees surrounding the property there was just like deer running through the fields i was like oh my god oh my god oh my god this is where i need to live i mean this was probably a three million dollar house just because of location you know what i mean thank god airbnb exists because i will never be owning a property like that but wow it was so beautiful we got inside the house it was a cool crisp 90 degrees outside we go in it's hot turn that ac on girls there's no ac there's no ac there's no ac in the house what do you mean what do you mean there's no ac and like i'm not one to bitch about ac because when we were in montana we were staying a little in a little cabin there was

no ac but like we were in the mountains like we did not need ac you crack a window it's 20 degrees at night that's your AC yeah yeah now in the summer in Colorado we're kind of in the mountains more so in the prairies still it was not cooling down that much and they provided two fans so we were suffering a little bit but that's okay country girls make do you know what I mean I'm not gonna sit here and complain about no AC like bitch get over yourself you're in the most beautiful area possible I was willing to go sleep outside if I needed it ended up working out well i love these girls they're so funny because like no matter where we are we're all sleeping in the same bed we are in our little cabin in montana we drug the mattress from one bedroom into the

other bedroom and all slept in the same room that was mostly for safety purposes because we were out there alone no gun like we needed to be together for safety but in this place there was three different bedrooms and there was three of us and hello you would think oh all the girls are gonna to go stay in their own bedroom nope we squished into one queen size bed it was perfect a little hot but perfect nonetheless i cooked dinner for them the first night i love cooking for friends because like truly my love language is sitting down and like being able to provide for people especially good food i love making good food for people i love cooking for people the airbnb had no spices so i was like girl i'm working with butter as a seasoning that's all i have so sorry

please just bear with me we cooked dinner we had a little kiki we danced under the stars and then we passed out because we were gonna go hike the maroon bells the next day which is more so in aspen maroon bells gorgeous i love people on hikes because they are there just having the best time ever truly like we're all summiting this mountain together you know what i mean we're all there for a good time we're all there for a good view i love that we're all there together having a little kiki like chit-chatting on our way up the mountain it's so cute i love people i love interacting with people who have good energy and the people on the trails have good energy we saw a moose up there it was beautiful oh my god we saw these little things called picas you know what a pica

is it looks like a little tiny like rabbit with smaller ears i think it's a rodent technically but they were so cute they were everywhere they were carrying little brushes around like feeding their nests whatever it happened to be but it was adorable i love the outdoorsy people they like i said are truly there just for a good time just to make it to the top of the mountain some of the sweetest people known to man we hiked the maroon bells that was gorgeous ended up back at home and then we went out to downtown at aspen this is where my complaining comes in this is where i need to do a bit of complaining aspen gorgeous beautiful amazing beautiful beautiful beautiful town why do all of the

worst people on this planet live there why why why oh my god so many horrible awful people like and i have a i have a bit of like an attitude problem i'll admit it i'll admit it i have an attitude problem bitch if you fucking try me you're getting attitude hannah i'm sorry i'm a very nice composed individual who will always see the good in people but as soon as you fucking try me it's like a switch goes off and i'm like no no no this is not gonna fly this is not going to work i think it comes from my dad because he very much so has the same attitude where it's like oh i'm fun loving blah blah blah until you piss me off until you try me then you're getting a very different person i mean hello you heard my bar story from a couple podcasts ago where we got

that man kicked out it's like yeah i'm here to have a good time and if you are not in the same good time vibe that's okay take that somewhere else where you're being a bitch in the bathroom or something do not put it on me because then i'm forced to you know take control of the situation and figure something out because you obviously are too much of a child to do so luckily i didn't have any encounters where i had to call a bouncer over but oh my god people with money are miserable people with money are completely and utterly miserable you think money buys happiness no no no no I think maybe it just doesn't buy love that's the problem but it's like I was like what the hell what is going on some of the worst behaved children I've ever seen in my entire

life and I'm pro-child you will never catch me on here being like I hate children I don't think children should be in public spaces no I think they should be but I do think they should be raised and when i tell you none of these parents were working with their children they all had nannies and i've been a nanny i could not nanny for an aspen family i would commit a murder for sure because there were these two parents walking down the street and their two little boys behind them who are like running behind them whatever and the nanny further back pushing the stroller carrying the backpacks carrying the suitcases like like a fucking pack mule these kids are doing their thing whatever they're running down the street parents no clue in the world what's

happening one of them falls eats shit on the cobblestone street duh they're in fucking moccasins like running down the goddamn cobblestone street of course they're gonna eat shit and smash both their teeth out so one of them falls you know not that bad like kids fall all the time the mom you would think would be a loving caring kind mom who would turn around and be like oh sweetie let me help you up no no she turns around she doesn't even pay attention to the child child's on the screaming crying she locks eyes with the nanny and she goes what the fuck are you doing get my kid up right now two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret

cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca hello hello and then what the problem is these kids are raised no love no caring parents not there okay and i understand if you're a busy parent absolutely but you if you have a child you are obligated to show that child love oh my god hot take hot take from hannah if you have a child you are obligated to take care of that child and show that child love and you can pay for that sure but it's not going to do the same thing at all because these nannies are scared as fuck and they are not going to parent your child or like strike the fear

a god in them to behave the same way like their own parents should be doing so then these kids who are not raised with love who are raised with no rules who are raised to be wild children are then wild adults 25 year old adults 30 year old adults 40 year old adults and then the cycle continues and that's how you build the population of aspen that's how you build the population of aspen these kids oh my god i have never seen more unruly kids in my entire life and being a nanny if i'm in public if i say i'm in public and i see a kid acting out you know i'll shoot them a look absolutely if i see a mother suffering with her child on the floor i will look at that child and i'll be like get up get up like i will say that absolutely girl i'll help you out i see you

struggling there kids they're a little unruly they're crazy they're supposed to be that way absolutely they're not gonna listen all the time i get that but like if you need a little help from another fellow woman i'll step in i'll help you girl i got you i could not do that there because they would have pressed charges because they would have been like you're abusing my child when in fact it was truly just a little bit of parenting absolutely hello what the hell is going on in aspen i'll tell you what money might be able to buy you happiness but it cannot buy you class these people had on so much money they were wearing so much money but zero class you know what class is friends and family do you know what class is class is kindness compassion caring

understanding appreciation that's what class is these people had none of that they had money they did not have style either but they had zero class i'll tell you what like don't fucking piss me off right now don't piss me off because i i have some class but girl if another person looks at me side eyeing because i look out of place i'm gonna spin your face like i'm fucking crazy bitch like do not try me anyways we went out to dinner that night i'm just being dramatic but we went to dinner that night i had a fantastic dinner we went to i think a place called zigzag oh my god it was gorgeous beautiful little outside area do highly recommend they're playing some jams and it wasn't like that expensive for dinner we shared like three different entrees and then i

had two two drinks and they had one drink each it was fantastic but i i will say my favorite activity to do around rich people is just listen to their conversations because they have a lot of things they like to talk about that i'm also interested in and i love overhearing like their perspective on things and we were sitting next to this group of like six girls who were probably I don't know probably like 30s mid-30s and all of them definitely came from money I'm talking like oil money they were doing everything on daddy's card like running their businesses on daddy's card and they were talking about like all of these different social media tactics and how they run their businesses and I was like tucking hair behind ear let me listen in on this maybe I'll

pick up some a few tricks here and there like maybe they know more than me nope they don't know more than me money cannot buy intelligence either unfortunately like i it was just it was a hoot and a holler i'll tell you what girls it was crazy it truly was like wow what world do you come from because it is not planet earth that's for sure but we had a great time we had some great food eat some steak frites caesar salad little pizza action walked around downtown aspen and I looked good that night I looked good that night I needed to go out I did it was beautiful it was amazing and I think my friend had a fantastic birthday which was all truly we were hoping for like girl let's just let's just make sure you have a good birthday now I am very

thankful for my restaurant industry experience because it has made me and I've realized this the older I get it has made me very self-assured in any sort of space I walk into I don't care if I quote-unquote feel out of place I will never walk into a room and be like awkward or like clam up or shell up or be like I'm not supposed to be here that thought will never pass through my head after working in the service industry for so long it's made me very self-assured in myself it's made me self-confident it's made me feel like that I belong anywhere that I go I'm able to interact with any sort of walk of life like even the crazy rich bitches like I don't care like we can get along you know like I can kind of meld and get together with any sort of people

that I get with my friends I could tell we're definitely feeling a bit out of place the places we were going I saw them kind of like clam up or shell up and I'm like no girls assert dominance like always always no matter where you go please you have to assert dominance you can never walk into a space assuming that you're not supposed to be there because that is guaranteeing that you are going to have a bad time and you one thing in life that you should do is never guarantee yourself a bad time you should always assume that you're going to have a good time you should always make the possibility to have a good time i don't care in your head if you feel out of place walk into that room like you own it walk into like god invited you personally into that room no matter

where you go and it took me a long time to get here I think just like you know growing up my you know mental health getting a bit more stable feeling more secure in myself challenging myself working in an environment where I am serving many different walks of life where you know conflict does arise and I'm able to handle myself and assert myself like in a very professional and dominant manner like all of these things come into play where now I see myself as this 26 year old and I'm so proud of who I'm becoming I really am I think I am just such a go-getter I think I am so self-assured and so confident no matter where I go and I'm so proud that I took the time to like challenge myself because I look back at young Hannah whether it was 9 or 12 or 16 and I

felt very uncomfortable with who I was I just felt like maybe I didn't have the experience or I was trying to live up to other people's expectations or I didn't know who I was it was a lot of just like unsureness of myself and who I am in this body or in this personality or in the soul and I do think going from completely the unknown or not knowing who I was or not feeling comfortable by myself to very secure and very comfortable in myself the one biggest thing that got me there is just challenging myself challenging myself oh you want to go hike that fucking mountain listen to your intuition go do it no one's stopping you oh you want to go get that job fuck it go apply sure they might say no who gives a fuck go try um oh you don't know how to handle

this situation at least try don't give up you got to go at least try and figure something out oh you know you want to go try this thing cool don't listen to the fear give in go do it listen to yourself challenge yourself you will come out the other side a more self-assured a more confident and a more understanding person always always I think truly what has gotten me to the place at 26 where I am just like honestly living a fantastically confident life is because I was willing to put myself out there and not be afraid of what the world might think of me but only be afraid of what I might think of myself and I always want to see myself as a cool individual as a wonderful individual as a hot sexy confident individual which means i need to approach the

world in that sort of sense i need to approach the world in that perspective always always there's no other choice truly your relationship with yourself directly relates with the relationship you're going to have with the world around you and also the people around you and i know all those people in aspen who are miserable who are judging each other constantly it's like i don't give a fuck what they think about me because that's how they think about themselves do you know what i mean when you encounter people who are judgmental of everybody else around them who are like constantly seeing the negative it's because that's the world that they live in inside their head that's how they view themselves that's how they view their internal world and your internal world

is a direct relation of the world around you of the experiences you're going to have around you so like sorry i'm hot young and confident and i enjoy myself and enjoy being in this world sorry you don't have that but i'm not going to let you and your negativity drag me to the depths of hell with you do you know what I mean I'm here for a good time hopefully a long time Jesus Christ and I'm not gonna let anybody else get in that way you know and I do know that I hold that within myself I hold that confidence and I hold that positivity within myself and I can't let anybody else get in the way so truly I had a fantastic time no judgment you know I mean actually yes judgment especially when it comes to parenting I will judge your parenting always because like I

see the girls out there who are trying I see you girls hey mamas I see you I see you trying I see you doing your best I don't care if you have a nanny or not I see you giving love to that child and that's amazing that's beautiful and that's wonderful and that's truly like that's really the one thing you really need to be doing so if you're doing that props to you love it like I see my sister-in-law who is such a hard-working mother and I'm like oh my god she needs a raise hello like this is incredible this is amazing so when like people aren't unable to do that like hello you are also like a mother with no job and yet you're still like paying someone else to do that to give your child love you're paying somebody to give your child love don't piss me off do not

piss me off right now you know what i mean if you need a psych ward visit to get that self-love up girl do so please for the for the sake of that child but oh my god oh my god you guys and then we went to the rodeo. We that was another like big thing we did. Of course, we swam and played in the rivers. There's so many beautiful rivers in Colorado that you can just like dip in and like jump into the neighbor of the Airbnb was so sweet. She came over. She's like, can I water your plants? I was like, girl, these aren't ours. But yeah, absolutely. Feel free. Like whatever you want to do. We don't give a fuck. We're about to go to the river. She's like, oh, do you know where to go for the river? I'm like, no, we do not. Where should we be going? And I love small

towns because you know you're in the right place and they're like so you're gonna drive to the end of the street at the stop sign you're gonna take a left then at the big oak tree with a split down the middle you're gonna take a right then you're gonna keep driving you know the river's gonna be on the left side you're gonna keep driving but if you go past the light it's you're going too far okay you gotta stop for the light you're gonna see a parking lot you'll see a parking lot with a big boulder in front of it that's how you know you're in the right area what the hell girl i'm doing mental gymnastics to try and remember these instructions we ended up making it there it was beautiful oh my god these rivers crystal clear massive boulders laid out in the sun beautiful

ate a sandwich by the river life is fulfilled i was not in the river enough i don't think my friends are definitely the type who it's like i need to be on my phone for like three hours in between activities which like props to you sometimes i need to be the same way but like i'm on the mountains girl i need to be in a river now and 24 7 dare i argue but i was at least in the river once which made me happy um and then we went to the rodeo the snow mass rodeo which again was full of aspenites i don't know what you would call them people who have never been around horses ever in their life and honestly i also have never grown up around horses but you guys my life has been changed so first ever trail ride i did was in the tetons we did a teton trail ride oh my god

beautiful amazing so incredible like these horses were so sweet i was on like a fucking 17 hand horse massive massive horse gorgeous hiking through the mountains beautiful amazing um and then we didn't do a trail ride this time even though i really wanted to i was like please please let's go on a trail ride please the girls are like no whatever um but i was like if we go to the rodeo i'm getting on a fucking horse i don't know i don't know how it's gonna happen I don't know what's gonna happen all I know is I'm getting on a goddamn horse I don't care when I don't care how I'm getting on a horse hello so we go to the rodeo you know my friends are a little stressed out because once again we're around crazy fucking kids um and I'm asserting

my dominance so they're stressed out and I'm like y'all we're here to have a good time like stop stressing yourself out it's okay like of course we're around crazy children but also we're around like bucking bulls and broncos like we're just in a crazy environment it is what it is like let's take some shots let's have a drink let's commit to having a good time so like i commit to having a good time i have a couple drinks i'm chilling i'm sitting next to this like french father and his crazy kids the kids are like going wild i'm like you know what fuck it i'm a little tipsy me and this girl are singing taylor swift together like i don't give a fuck you know like we are here at the rodeo hello crazy energy let's have a good time these kids oh my god

crazy i love mutton busting it's hilarious you ever seen a kid on the back of a sheep going 100 miles an hour hilarious hilarious and at first like we went to the uh the rodeo in the tetons and first rodeo you go to you're like this doesn't feel right this doesn't feel right i feel like pita should be here i feel like i should be in a fur coat with like a can of red paint pouring it on myself in the middle of the rodeo but the more you're kind of around it the more you realize like no no these animals they're chilling they're doing their thing it's fine it's not like they're like actually harming the animals they're chilling okay sure it is like a little unnerving at first but i don't know you see these animals like especially the horses when

they're like roping or the horses who are there and it's like these horses like they're they're playing the sport they're like enjoying their time here they're having a good time you know it's very interesting to see of course you know not the most ideal circumstances but at least the snowmass rodeo felt very well put together and like you could tell those animals were very well taken care of i mean with the amount of goddamn money there hello a hot dog was 14 dollars those animals better be well taken care of okay they're gonna extra feed they better after this rodeo we're having a good time enjoying the rodeo and then the rodeo ends it's like oh okay well where do we go next do we go to a bar because when we were in the tetons it was perfect we just went to

the downtown jackson hole bar and did like line dancing it was amazing it was so fun um but there was no like after bar to go to so you're like whatever we'll just go back to um downtown basalt so on our way out we're smoking our cigarettes you know girls marble red let me have a little marble red after the rodeo it's what we deserve we're smoking and we're passing all the horse trailers and like one of the cowboys he's probably like 60 i don't know with his wife in the car already he was like hey can i borrow a cigarette we're like oh yeah but here's the thing you you as a woman who purchased those cigarettes you never give a cigarette away for free barter and trade always you always barter and trade there's always an opportunity to barter and trade especially

with a cowboy so we were joking but we were like oh yeah we can have a cigarette if we can pet your horse he's like well you can just get on the horse what what do you mean i can just get on the horse What do you mean? We're like, oh, oh, that's so funny. Here's your cigarette. Whatever. He's like, no, no. Gets the reins, pulls this horse out of the goddamn trailers, like hop on. Two in five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life saving research. together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca and i'm supposed to say no manifested manifested truly manifested i hop on this horse he's pulling us around in circles he's like all right who's next we all get on the fucking horse we're having

a little kiki a little laugh a little haha it's like six-year-old cowboys like whatever these girls just having a good time you know he felt our energy he felt we were there for a fun time and i'll tell you what cowboys top five toxic men line cooks djs cowboys what else what else i don't know i can't think of the other two i'm sure they're out there but my top three toxic men for the day line cooks djs and cowboys cowboys are players players and they're it's just because they're there for a good time hello you're on a fucking bucking horse you're just living life every day at a time truly so i could tell he was like these girls are trying to have a good time i'm getting a cigarette maybe two let him on the fucking horse but like hello why am i on a horse

in the parking lot why am i on a horse in the parking lot what the hell is going on and my little daisy dukes and fry boots what is happening how did i get myself here manifestation is real if you just tell yourself it's gonna happen no it's gonna happen it's gonna happen it'll happen it does my friend did that she was like wearing a bear hat the entire hike which was so funny because the girlies were going to kick out of the bear hat the entire way up the mountain oh my god oh my god there's a bear watch out ah like so funny they were having a hilarious ass time she was the only one who saw a bear she was the only one who saw a bear on our trip she manifested that same way i manifested the horse i was like no i'm gonna be on a horse i don't know i don't you guys might

not be i'm going to be on a horse and i was i was are you kidding me after that i literally emailed a ranch here and i'm starting horseback riding lessons i'm not even fun you guys i'm not playing i'm not playing i'm starting horseback riding lessons once again one life to live if you feel the urge if you want to go do something do it we need to be living life to the fullest we need to be taking up every hobby possible and i've always loved horses i've always been a horse girl have i grown up on horses no have i grown up around horses no but i've always felt called to them and I remember my parents they forced me to do piano from the ages of like I don't know probably like five till I graduated high school so I was doing piano for years and years and years and it

was every week sometimes twice a week at 7 a.m actually I think it was every Tuesdays and Thursdays at 7 a.m and I did competition piano and it was horrible and it was awful and I hated piano even though I was like really good at it I was like I don't fuck with this like I'm just doing it to appease my parents but I don't really fuck with it so one summer I was like okay I don't want to do piano anymore but I will do it for this summer if you start giving me like if you start taking me to horseback riding lessons I think I was probably like 10 once again barter system I was 10 and I was like listen I'll do it for this summer but can I start doing horseback riding lessons my parents like yeah yeah definitely we'll get you those horseback riding lessons

absolutely so I'm like oh okay every every lesson I go to in piano I'm 10 years old I'm like I'm doing this for the horses I'm doing this for the horses did I ever get those horseback riding lessons no no I did not nope my parents were like we're not doing that it's too expensive fuck so now that I'm an adult and I'm like I've always loved horses I've always wanted to be around horses I've always wanted to learn how to ride them and just to be around them and feel safe and comfortable and understanding of them I'm buying myself some goddamn riding lessons hello I'm doing it I'm doing private lessons I just signed up I'm waiting on a call from the trainer but literally I'm like I have to do it I love it I love being on horseback I love the freedom of it

i love the understanding of it i love challenging myself i love trying new things life's too goddamn short put me on a horse period oh my god but it was so fucking fun it was so fun and that was kind of our last day the next day we were just cleaning up the airbnb to sticking our toes in the river you know going on a drive around the area basalt is so gorgeous i will say my favorite thing about aspen seeing the houses we were driving up in the hills past these like bajillion dollar houses I'm talking like 55 million dollar houses and my favorite thing to do especially in like rich neighborhoods is take a drive around and judge your house because if you're that rich you can afford a 55 million dollar house and you don't have taste if you don't have at least some

wildflowers out front I'm judging you yes you should be taxed tax them more actually for having bad taste and being that rich high key so that's some of our favorite things to do and just like drive around see the houses check things out drive around see the scenery see some little cows some little farms basalt was so so so cute i want to go back with my lover so we can go like skinny dipping in the river because like i said my girls are not outdoor girls and when i get outside i'm turning like feral high key like i'm naked in the river immediately like the feralness comes out of me i was born and raised in the fucking forest okay i was born next to the woods like running around thousands of ticks every summer building forts tree forts you know our currency as children

we're pebbles you know what i mean i was born an outdoors child i was a summer baby like we were outside 24 7 so it's so nice when i'm an adult and i get to like revert back to that state where it's like no let's build a fort in the forest because that's what life's about hello i need to appease a little child inside of me i need to appease her and like now that we are an adult i've kind of realized this like i've spent most of my 20s like waiting i don't know what for i think maybe just like when we're younger we do know that the longer we wait the more secure we start to feel because life is set up for us you know it's like okay we'll just make it through the school year then you have the summer we have that to look forward to or just make it through

this year we're almost out of middle school then we're in high school we have something set up the waiting actually pays off because life is you know set up for us but then we get all of this freedom freedom and you would think that would be a blessing but when you're born waiting the you continue to wait and that's what I've realized I've been doing all of my early 20s of just like well you know everything I ask for will come to me you know it'll just come to me I just gotta wait I gotta wait I'm waiting for perfect timing I'm waiting to have the right amount of money I'm waiting to be in the perfect mindset I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm waiting and guess what waiting does not pay off waiting is not what we're supposed to be doing girl you're sitting

here working for the looking for the perfect environment for everything to be right while your life is slipping you by we need to be taking advantage of every single day what is one lesson today can teach you what is one thing you can take from today that can make it positive what is one way you can make your life positive today no more waiting no more i realized how easy the trip was to come together sure we spent some money whatever but like i started getting videos on tiktok about like Mazda car camping because I drive a Mazda like how to set up car camping in your Mazda I'm like oh my god I could just take off for three days into the mountains I could why the fuck am I not doing that why am I not living my life to its fullest potential why am I not going on more

hikes why am I not on horseback why am I not go taking these classes why am I not in the gym getting my stamina up why am I not doing these things that I know in my heart I want to do and instead i am just sitting here doing nothing it is excruciating and i'm tired of fucking waiting i am life is meant to be lived and enjoyed and taken advantage of right now and i also think i started reading this book while i was on this trip and if you guys need a good book to read if you need a dose of hope and inspiration and just feeling more connected to nature you know it's the end of the summer i think this is a perfect book to be reading i got almost halfway through on my trip which is incredible it's called braiding sweetgrass it's actually the book of the month

with my patreon girlies please come join the patreon we have so much fun over there we do a book club book every month and uh it is so fucking good it is so incredibly good every chapter i finished i was in the back of the car sobbing like actually tears streaming down my face and my friends are like oh my god are you back there reading a book yes girl this book is changing my life it's incredible here's a little recap of what it's about as a botanist robin wall camara i probably butchered that last name has been trained to ask questions of nature with tools of science as a member of the citizen potawatomi nation she embraces the notion that plants and animals are our oldest teachers in braiding sweetgrass camara brings these lenses of knowledge

together to show that the awakening of a wider ecological consciousness requires the acknowledgement and celebration of a reciprocal relationship with the rest of the living world for only when we can hear the languages of other beings are we capable of understanding the generosity of the earth and learning to give our own gifts in return what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck we really fucked up you know what the native americans had everything right they did the way they view the world the way they interact with the world the way they give and take and receive and just how they treat the earth around us and the way that they just don't take life or any living being for granted is so beautiful and truly this has provided me so much inspiration of just like

looking at the little things and taking appreciation not overlooking how much care and time and work it takes and should take to put into beautiful things or beautiful food or beautiful experiences and just really getting out there and learning to live life side by side with nature I think it's so beautiful this is such an amazing book I love it it is probably one of my most favorite reads recently and I think it's going to be my top read of 2025 but if you need a good book to read please read this I think it really put into perspective and brought a lot of whimsy to my trip as well it brought a lot of knowledge of just like wow what a beautiful world we do live in how much we take for granted of just like driving through a beautiful landscape

and still looking down at our phones like not being aware of where we live and how beautiful it is and where things come from and just taking advantage of everything that is around us and not advantage I say take advantage and I think sometimes it comes off in like a negative way like what can it give me but no like what perspective can it give me and also what perspective can i give back you know life is a game of give and take and i don't think we should be afraid to give more often i think we as individuals are not used to giving as much as we should be like gift giving is a beautiful language that we all need to be we all need to learn a little bit more of you know right now it's so much take take take take but what can you give to this world what can

you give to yourself what can you give to your neighbors what is this small gift that you can give yourself today i think it's a beautiful perspective and also just like how much we take advantage of nature it's just sometimes they feel so dark but this book truly has brought a new perspective and a brand new light to my life that i am so incredibly thankful for my brother actually recommended it to me and my mom he bought it for my mom because um he is a lawyer for a company that works really really closely with native american tribes um to basically just sue the U.S. government for the fuck shit that they do to them so of course you know this is something that he loved and really enjoyed so I'm really glad that he put me onto this book because wow

so good and as I'm reading this talking about like the the aspen trees or the way the bees work or like sweet grass or the giving nature of individuals or even the um the language of living beings and how gender neutral it should be and how everything is living i'm driving through the mountains i'm looking around me and i'm like holy shit my my theory on life is so wrong five year plan hello i change it every two years when i realize life has been i've been living life wrong i truly have realized like oh my god i've been sitting here i've been waiting for perfect the right time for the perfect you know mesh of life to create the perfect opportunity for me when in reality life is what we create of it experiences are what we create of it and it's

not always easy it's not always the easiest choice sometimes it is sometimes it's not sometimes it takes work and effort and planning but it always pays off when you know you are out there living life to the full existence always always and i'm so tired of sitting and waiting i'm so tired of sitting here being like oh i wish oh i wish i wish i wish girl wish upon a star as much as you want but until you create the opportunity for yourself it truly is not going to happen some super amazing being is not going to fly in here and create the perfect opportunity for you no you need to save yourself you need to create life for yourself you need to get out there and live life because it is meant to be lived tenfold and i'm realizing just how much i do love nature

how much i love working with nature how much i love just like being out in it and it really just like reinvigorated a childlike sense of wonder within myself who enjoyed working with plants who came home with like handfuls of frogs that my mom's like what the hell are you doing who got like stuck in the mud and how to get pulled out like who dug up natural clay with their fingers and made natural clay pots for her best friend's birthday like that is who I am at my core and a lot of like I think my late 20s is going to be reverting back to that childlike sense of wonder to that childlike sense of like what do i want what have i always been looking forward to and how do i create that within myself and i'm so glad that this trip brought it out of me like good or

bad i'm so glad that it brought out just that side of like wow i'm doing everything that i wanted to be doing but i need to do it more often i need to feed that side of myself more often i need to get out there and take advantage of life more often and just be one with nature as much as i possibly can be because I do know how much joy and pleasure that it brings to my life so I'm just so thankful for this trip and all the perspectives that it's brought me but you guys wow life truly is out there to be lived you know sometimes you have to run away to find yourself and every time I take a summer trip I always am like I feel like I'm running away from myself but also like I'm shedding so many layers to the point where I feel almost like nude and naked in a very vulnerable sense

where I'm forced to kind of reckon with myself and reckon with like what I want to do and I took that Yellowstone Tetons trip last year with all of my friends and it truly was so inspiring that I was kind of like waiting for that moment again and waiting and waiting all year like it was so whimsical and wonderful but I did find myself in that state of waiting where I was like okay well when is that going to happen again and after this trip I had that same experience as I did last year but it flipped my perspective of instead of like waiting for the perfect environment and waiting for it to happen again i need to get out there and create it life is what we make of it you can do anything you set your heart to like i do think also what brings so much

joy and enjoyment in life is hobbies hobbies hobbies are so important like horseback riding or i want to get into jewelry making or learning more about herbs creating more herbs for myself or cooking things like that you need hobbies you need things to go do you need activities to enjoy like we saw these people hiking up with like 50 pound mats on their back to go rock climb like that's what they do for fun on a Tuesday we need more activities like this in our life that is not just like on our phone on a screen we need something that is actually like invigorating us that is putting us in tandem with the world around us where we're able to learn more about ourselves through these activities whether it's like more about our body our mind our spirit our soul

like we need to be doing more hobbies that's also something that I've learned on this trip so I'm hoping especially during this winter time as winter approaches I know spooky scary I'm starting to ask myself and this is actually one question that I know I'm not going to get to a lot of questions on this episode and I truly am so sorry but I did see one pop up yesterday which is like how do we carry the whimsy of summer into winter and I think it is through hobbies to stay like abundant and inspired this winter I'm hoping to just pick up as many hobbies as I can like right now and get into the rhythm and the routine of them so as winter comes along it gives me something to do it gives me something to look forward to and then the snow doesn't feel as cold

because I have something to be doing I have something to be working forward towards I have something to be enjoying whether it's horseback riding I want to try pole dancing I want to learn how to make silver jewelry I want to keep painting more often like I want to get into herbs and nature and learning more about the world around me I want to do more spirituality work like there's so many things I want to do I just have to dedicate the time to it and I do think especially with the rise of technology and the rise of like AI and the AI world you need to understand that all of that is a distraction I know I work like in a very technology world and I do think you can take really amazing benefits from it like i love a podcast in the background while i'm painting

like let me don't get me wrong i love music i think music is beautiful in the background of something that i'm doing like driving through the mountains amazing i just shared like my august playlist with you guys on patreon connecting with you guys having a community you know realizing the world maybe isn't so small as we believe it is i think there are beautiful sides to technology the same way there's good and bad to everything but i think the negative of just like scroll scroll scroll scrolling or even like the rise of ai i know you saw the lady who fell in love with her psychiatrist and then ai is convincing her she's an oracle that is all a distraction it's all a distraction sometimes you need to get lost in your activities in the world that you want to

create for yourself in the communities that you actually want to be a part of that's the positive of it all do not give into the distractions they want us to be distracted they want us to be stupid they want us to not realize all the negative or crazy things that are happening out there which you would realize are happening if you just got outside stop with the distractions get out live life create the life you want to live take all those opportunities if you can't find the fucking opportunity create it for yourself all the dreamers also that i've run into especially during my travels who are people who are living a life that i'm like wow that's amazing that's wonderful like very jealous high key and jealousy use it to drive you don't use it to shut yourself

down these are people who always dare to dream who also like see their dream clearly in their head for what it is and they don't back down these are not people who waited for the right circumstances to come by you know maybe maybe this will happen maybe no there's no maybe it's I know what I want I know what I'm I want to do and I'm going after it tenfold it may take 10 years it may take two it may take two weeks who knows who cares about the timeline fuck the timeline what can you do right now to take one step closer to that dream life that you want to live honestly truly that's how the how those dreamers become reality that's how those big dreams or big ideas become reality I do think anything that you have an idea of in your head

you can create in front of you and that's one big thing that art has taught me of as well um where it's like sure you have to know the fundamentals but anything that you dream or conspire of in your head you can metabolize in the real world um i think the biggest lesson that i learned that through was when i was in art school my freshman year um they challenged us to take like abstract photos of things and then from that abstract photo to take to make a six foot by six foot yes six foot by six foot or bigger minimum six foot by six foot sculpture of that abstract photo and we had to do it in like two days and it was like what the hell is he asking me it like how am I gonna do this there were no other thoughts in my head except for like get it done do it to

the best of your ability and I remember creating this thing's beautiful massive sculpture which like really just like I don't know sucked you in in a room it was so beautiful I was so impressed by myself that i was able to create that like those are the lessons that are important you know whatever you can dream of in your head no matter how big you think it might be you can always metabolize that into the real world if you are able to think of it you are able to create it tenfold never doubt yourself never look down on yourself always build self-confidence always test yourself always trying to strengthen that relationship within yourself because if you have a strong relationship to yourself a strong belief in yourself a strong understanding in

yourself you have a stronger connection to the world around you the universe will say yes more often the people who it's like oh my god i feel like the universe is saying no no no no to me 24 7 it's because you're saying no to yourself you're doubting yourself you're not actually taking advantage of the world around you sometimes bad luck happens i get it we're getting out of a retrograde trust me i get it but we're out of the retrograde now we're free the world is opened up to us completely you've learned your lessons you've taken those lessons from those retrograde how are you going to apply it how are you going to take advantage of your life how do you want to end 2025 that's what i urge you to think of you know because i do think especially it's so hard

in your young 20s where everything feels so new and wide and open and vast and you are basically a baby deer on those really shaky legs it's hard to do so but i do think that everybody has that drive and that power in themselves to get out there and to learn side by side in life and to create those opportunities for yourself how bad do you want it truly and everybody has different dreams my dream sure go run away to the mountains live in the mountains on horseback that's my dream you're like bitch that's crazy but like i'm also with friends i travel with friends who it's like my friend's dream is to become a nursing anesthesiologist okay she didn't get in the first year fuck it she's gonna keep trying she's gonna keep trying oh my gosh she gets in now she's

not giving up she's doing the best she can she's getting those grades because she knows what she wants she knows the path in front of her and she will not give it up for anything i don't care what you want i don't care what your dream is your one thing in this life is to not put that dream aside for anything else to listen to yourself to listen to your heart and to go after it tenfold you owe it to yourself you do and i know this fully because like i carry the young girl with me who wanted nothing more than to not be here constantly with me she is with me at all times and I am living for her 24 7 you have to look back at these past versions of yourself and ask yourself like what can I do for them how can I help them through this world how can I help myself now through this world

how can I help future version of myself to this world that's how you live an authentic life that's how you live a life that is meant for you that is how you live a life that you know is fulfilling towards you you know every day I wake up and I go what can I do for nine-year-old Hannah what can I do for 16-year-old Hannah what can I do for 50-year-old Hannah you know what I mean how can I live for them and live my best life to the fullest extent possible I'm just like maybe it's the coffee maybe it's the caffeine maybe it's me coming off a week-long vacation which I appreciate you guys giving me a week off for like I mean I was able to film a podcast before but thank you for just like the time to escape into nature a bit it truly was so invigorating and so wonderful

and I cannot wait to see what the next year of my life brings I tried to vlog as much as I could but truly like when I get lost I get lost like I'm not paying attention to pulling out my phone so I'm gonna see if I can kind of get some footage together maybe there'll be some exclusive patreon footage go join patreon.com slash smoke says shawty but it was just so beautiful and so wonderful and i'm so thankful for that week of my life just spent in the forest and in nature and getting lost and climbing mountains at 2 a.m and randomly getting on horseback and how much it's taught me um about life and just like taking advantage of what's in front of you and truly just not settling for less not settling for little things and only going after the big going after

your dreams and listening to your heart your heart has a lot to tell you your heart has a lot to say and i think we are kind of conditioned to ignore our heart a lot at least i was that's what i'm learning the most is just like my heart always tells me a lot and sometimes it can be overwhelming because I'm a very emotionally sensitive individual but like your sensitivity and your emotions are important it's important to listen to they are telling you something it's important to understand where it's coming from and like what lesson or what message is trying to give you in that moment your heart is always speaking to you and I do think it's important to live from your heart to connect to your heart it just makes a more positive and well-rounded worldview that i

think most of us are honestly if you're listening to this podcast probably chasing in this life but wow what a wonderful beautiful world we live in and how lucky are we to just like be in this environment that is so beautiful and so giving like no matter what we do to nature it really does always give and give and give and we take so much advantage of that that it's like now it's my turn to give now it's my turn to plant a community garden to get out there to live in the wilderness to just like be one with nature and to connect the best that I can but I'm so excited to honestly see where this winter is going to take me like I said I have one more big trip coming which I'll actually vlog because I'm not going to be lost in nature you know like nine-year-old Hannah

brain isn't going to take over where it's like no turn the phone off and just like roll in the mud Tokyo's gonna be really fun and really beautiful in a different kind of way I wish I was going to Kyoto it's probably my biggest mistake while planning I still have time maybe I will but I can't we just see what the winter is going to bring and the hobbies that I pick up and the hobbies that you pick up in the winter the ones that are going to keep you going and feeling enthralled with life even though there's 10 feet of snow out there is the ones you start now ask yourself what's the one thing I've been afraid to try but I keep thinking of over and over and over again that's the hobby you need to pick need to pick up me I'm like I want to go take pole dancing

lessons I think it'd be great for the core I think it'd be fantastic I want to go take horseback riding lessons fuck it let me go try let me go hire a trainer let me go see how it goes what do i have to lose hello i'm not like competitive barrel racing i'm not gonna die on horseback like what do i have to lose if i feel called to it why am i not doing it i want to pick up silversmithing my grandmother was a silversmith like i want to carry on her legacy i want to learn how to do that be a fantastic way to just have something to do during the winter and feel more enthralled in life i want to sew oh my god i used to sew all the time i was literally almost on project runway junior like high key made it to the final interview isn't that crazy

um like why am i not sewing you know i feel like life and adulthood sometimes eats up our brain but what keeps us enthralled in life and what keeps that spark alive and what keeps our heart alive is the childlike play we bring into our everyday lives and i understand if you're like i work a nine to five like i do not have time for that you do you do i promise you do literally seeing that tiktok of that girl who's like i'm not gonna let my nine to five get in the way of the life i want to live like yes i will wake up at 6 a.m at my campsite to pack it up and then make it home for my 9 a.m meeting like that is impressive and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication but that's what life is it really is it's dedication to your heart and dedication to what

you want to do and we can't let the corporations kill that desire inside of our souls and make us like these crazy worker bees that only feeds the hierarchy like we have to live for ourselves we do we really really do uh life is so wonderful life is so beautiful me after a week-long vacation wow my will to live so high so beautiful and hopefully this brought you a little bit of inspiration i don't know i know the girls could probably use a dose of inspiration i know that's what you come here for i know we come here for a key and a laugh that's what the confessionals episode was for trust that was a key and a laugh that was crazy but this week i hope you could sit down by the fire metaphysical fire of smoke sesh and hear my story hear my story time and

get lost a bit with me and hopefully find a dose of inspiration it's really all I want to do not only am I building inspiration within myself but I hope to build inspiration inside every single one of you guys and just show you that life is meant to be lived that life is meant to be enjoyed that you can find hope and community and peace no matter where you go that if you build that confidence within yourself the world will see it and open its arms up to you fully you deserve that you deserve a life willing to be lived and honestly you can't wait any longer we have to create it for ourselves we have to create that dream life for ourselves you can't sit here and wait when the world is out there waiting for you to take that first step but with that being said if you did

submit a question and i didn't get to it don't worry every week on the patreon i answer every single one of your questions yes every single one so submit your question there join the patreon patreon.com slash smoke session id um i always upload a patreon q a on wednesdays where you can comment your question and i do go through every single one of those on thursday for a patreon exclusive only podcast and if you want to see more from me what i've been up to on my trip i'm finally getting all the photos edited they will be up on my instagram at hannah marlene i also submit the questionnaire every week on instagram on sundays so a few of you guys have been like oh my god i don't have an Instagram how to how do I submit my question I don't know what you listen on but if

you're on YouTube you can always comment your question if you feel comfortable if you're on Spotify Spotify does have comments leave me a little comment leave me a little heart heart emoji if you listen this long but you can always comment your question there if you feel comfortable doing so or I've had some people email me questions that works as well and if you want to submit a call in I had some people submit call-ins this week don't worry I'll get to them next week next week will be the usual regular smoke sesh episode don't worry but i love hearing your guys's voice if you want to submit a call in on instagram you can dm me a voice message it's very simple go to message on instagram message me at hannah marlene instead of typing it out i mean maybe type it out and be like

a question about blank and then you can record you know the same way you would a voice message to your friend record your voice message record it a couple times if you need to submit like a five minute long one i don't know and then just send it to me it'll be there i'll be able to re-listen to it i'll be able to also record it for this podcast but i love hearing your eyes's voice i love being here with you guys every single week thank you for giving me the space and the opportunity to get a little bit lost in the forest i hope what i learned i'm able to then extend to you guys and provide a bit of inspiration to you guys i cannot wait to see where this life takes us and how we take advantage of this life going forward i cannot wait for 2026 i cannot wait for

the rest of the year brings us 2025 moved kind of slow for me but now it's moving very very fast and there's a lot coming up so i'm very excited to share with you guys everything that i have planned i'm always giving back to you guys that is my one goal in this life is to just give you gifts because you guys give me the endless gift and joy of being able to do this so if there's anything you want to see from me let me know below but more vlogs coming soon i'm getting my belly button pierced i've decided life's too short i need to get my belly button pierced so hopefully that'll be the next vlog and that'll be on youtube hannah marlene 444 but with that being said i love you all so much get out there life is waiting for you you need to take that first

step forward you need to get out there and create that dream life for yourself anything that you think of you can create for yourself tenfold always i believe in you and i love you and i hope you stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk.

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