Smoke Sesh - self acceptance, first dates & riding solo

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

hello hotties and welcome back! we have a lot to chat about at this smoke sesh as we talk what I've been up to, chaotic moments, going out, numerology, staying busy, self acceptance, the good and bad, accepting all of ourselves, self improvement, not getting better, no energy to move forward, nervous system regulation, lying to yourself, flight or fight, evil eye protection, jewelry protection, Karens, being yourself, weird interests, being a weird little freak, liking what you like, changing your surroundings, not giving a fuck, making friends, college, first date tips and tricks, traveling solo, solo tips and tricks, the in-between, and much much morewatch the vlogs on YouTube at hannahmarlene444join the patreon! new episodes (and more) at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtysubmit your questions and call ins every week on instagram.com/hannahmarlene

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sesh so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hotties and welcome back to the smoke sesh podcast i'm so excited to be back with you all on this beautiful little what feels like fall type of day you guys i went outside this morning bright and early of course and there was a chill in the air a crispiness to the air that i am just like oh so excited for because i am over the 150 degree days i'm looking outside right now and at the vast

majority of trees surrounding me they're slowly starting to get a little orange i feel like maybe i didn't max out my summer as much as i wish i could but bitch i was outside and that's all that matters honestly and i cannot wait to get a little apple cider donut go pumpkin picking start working on my halloween costumes you guys i love fall fall is for slowing down fall is for chilling the fuck out for enjoying for savoring and that is exactly what mama needs but i haven't really been up to much recently this morning i of course had my horseback riding lessons which went so well so incredibly well my trainer shout out to her like literally she deserves an award for how quickly she got me on a horse and how successful i have been at horseback riding since not that i

have anything to brag about i'm not jumping horses i'm not going a million miles an hour like very simple small structural things um like loosening up my body being more aware of my body being more in control of my body so then thus i'm more in control of my horse working with xena building that bond so funny she's just like she is a diva no wonder they were like no if you want to lease this horse like you have first dibs because you guys mesh really well this bitch she is the biggest diva i know truly she teaches me something every single day and she's just like she she has she's allergic to bugs and bug bites so she's just an itchy girl right now that's why i'm excited for fall and like some beautiful fall rides where she's just not pissed off from the bugs um but

i've been working on that with her just like not freaking out about her itchiness and being able to ride even though she is itchy you're working on groundwork whatever and like she although animals can't talk back you know when you have an animal and it's a diva and it like is kind of giving you some sass back i personally live for that danger he is a sass oh frass that man is the sassiest man i know truly and all men are extremely sassy but like that cat so sassy i think he probably picks it up for me this horse the exact same way where it's like bitch i ain't listening to you and i weigh 1500 pounds so what are you gonna do about it but i had a really beautiful morning out there on the farm started my day early bright and early 7 a.m yes i'm also vlogging my

day today so if you want to see like what a day in the life looks like what a work day looks like i am vlogging my entire monday today which is stacked with all of my favorite activities and all of my work related ting so that would be fun for you to watch on sunday coming up but this past sunday i did upload a fun little sesh with me just very chill relaxing curating a vibe getting the energy good we did a little journal prompt journal session hanging out self-care and i ordered sushi so we of course had a mukbang and it was just a fun little like girly sesh i was on that girly sleepover sesh vibe and i wanted it to continue over to youtube but yes up this week on sunday will be a day in the life video if you were ever like what the fuck does hannah do with her

fucking life baby i don't know but i'll try and explain it to you the best that i can and show it to you through that if you want to see the vlogs early join the patreon patreon.com slash smoke says shoddy yes they are up early they are up every single friday sometimes thursday this week i'll probably have it up on thursday plus extra episodes extra like literal podcast episodes where i answer every single question baby i've been hustling on the patreon and i am here to provide and journal prompts many many fun little things on the patreon so come join come hang out join the community but yeah I have just been a busy little bee my parents took off to Ireland so I have been of course once again taking care of their dog so that's been nice to kind of

just like get outside pace out my days a little bit better um I had like a fun really chill Sunday yesterday where I my Sunday routines recently have been like I'm gonna go get pho go to at least work out somewhere whether it's pilates yoga go to the gym and then also like do some shopping do my errands and that's been so nice as a way to really set up my week for success um this week was pretty chill for for an eclipse week for us being deep into eclipse season i really have just been trying to roll with the punches pro tip for eclipse season is just like if there's chaos around there's chaos abound and just like let it be do not freak over the things that you don't need to freak over about do not lose your cool on things that are like not worth your energy you know pay

attention to what's draining your energy pay attention to what's giving you energy but like when things get a little cuckoo bananas like do not lose it just lock in do the best you can power through it'll all be over before you know it that's probably my number one tip for eclipse season because eclipse season is a lot of like random energy and that can be put towards literally anything sometimes when it comes to astrology you can kind of read more into i'll be affected here i'll be affected there but eclipses are very very randomness chaos randomness karma randomness so just like do the best you can it's probably my number one piece of advice my car gave out this week not me like i'm so thankful for my car i am truly because it could have been way worse than it

was I just needed a new battery but it taught me like it really just re-emphasized to me how much I do appreciate my parents especially my father for being a fabulous father figure to me I really lucked out with the parents I do have and of course like with any sort of parents you have none of them are perfect you're gonna have your tiffs you're gonna have your fights you're gonna have your battles and I was not an easy child I was not an easy teenager so like baby they had their hands full but one thing about my parents is if i call them and i'm like i need help i need this i need that they without question are there for me and i went to go start my car after getting home from omaha i'm like have i talked about this already before the weeks are literally

blending together i don't think so but when i went to go start my car bitch it wouldn't start she needed a new battery so yeah one phone call literally i was like hey this doesn't need to happened today maybe it can happen later in the week no pressure within the hour he's like i'm outside like oh okay all right let me walk downstairs let me you know unlock my car let me pop the hood he gets in there he's like okay you can go back inside now i'll finish it i'm like no i'll hang out with you what no complaining dead silence replaces the battery i feel like with some fathers are like hold the flashlight or blah blah blah i can't believe i have to do this not one complaint not one complaint literally just silent replace the battery he's I was like

how much do I owe you like how much is the battery he's like I'll don't even worry about it got in his car left hello hello talk about a father figure right there and that's kind of where my my necessary requirement from a partner stems from is i see my mom look at my dad and go i want a hand-built iron gate to my garden and he's like okay done i want a coffee station built in the kitchen okay done is it done overnight no but is it done yes i want brand new green vintage tiling around our fireplace literally done like no question no concern like I'll get to it it might take me a long time might take me a short time but like no question that shit's getting handled no complaints literally just happy to be there and that's how it should be that really re-emphasized

some things in my life where I was like oh yeah okay definitely definitely that that's what I'm looking for but yeah outside of that and working i haven't really been up to too terribly much i've been locking in on my painting this week i'm challenging myself to paint one new painting every single day and not seven paintings but maybe like at least five so we'll see if i get through it if i do end up doing that that will be up on instagram at hannah marlene also where you can submit your questions that we are about to get to but i also had a night out with some girlfriends that was so so fun um after work just me and all the girlies went out and it's so nice to now be in my later 20s i know that's crazy to say but i remember being a young 20 something and working

in a restaurant surrounded by 30 year olds who like wanted to party wanted to have a good time but also included me i looked up to them like older sisters um like really inspiring female figures and it's kind of nice that i can like switch be like now in that older female role where it's like all right girls i'll take you under my wing let's go out belly up to the bar i'll buy you your drinks like let mama take care of you just like just just stay by me you know it's so nice to do and it was really fun we didn't spend a bunch of time out which thank god sometimes when i like start drinking and partying i'm like let's go till 5 a.m and it's like that doesn't need to happen we don't need to be partying till 5 a.m anymore but we went out to like the

small local dive bar nearest to me and we played some darts we had some drinks we got our fortunes read which mine i was like drunkenly trying to read it and i was like all it said was like be a good person and expect nothing in return period point blank um but me and my girly pop we were on the same team together and we're both kind of going through end of cycle life cycles right now where it's like okay we've outgrown and we're ready to grow into and we kept hitting the number 19 number 19 number 19 and it was like every single time we would throw darts we would hit number 19 it's like what the fuck is up with number 19 and she's like I wonder what the numerology behind that is and I was like oh I don't know I never really look into numerology

but i was like okay fuck it i'll give it a little google in this dive bar right now and number 19 numerology blends the energy of one new beginnings independence and leadership with nine completion wisdom and universal compassion it signifies a powerful cycle of self-determination achievement and a unique karmic lesson in balanced power you know what love it thank you appreciate that universe that was a good way to really like cap the night off end it with a little taco bell good little sunday and here we are now back into the swing of things back to our usual episodes but with that being said enough about me yap yap yap yapping i want to get into what is on your guys's minds this is going to be a very random episode who knows

where this episode will take us I don't know I'm not really feeling any major themes from the universe here or even from these questions other than like random things random things going on random situations very much so eclipse season energy but how do you find yourself when you don't have any any energy to look for yourself baby there is no searching you are who you are I feel like we get caught up with this like um self-betterment self-help where it literally kind of rips you in part and splits your brain a little bit where you are where you are now period whatever that situation is and you look back at where you are in the past and also what you want to be in the future and that creates a lot of like um unappreciation for who you are now that

I personally really really dislike in the grand scheme of things like of course when it comes to self-betterment wanting to do better seeking better wanting growth all those fun beautiful things yes love it but also you cannot get there until you have full self-acceptance for where you are now good bad ugly like literally you have to accept every single part of yourself and so I shared some journal prompts like shadow work journal prompts things like what do you like about yourself what do you not like about yourself what's holding you back what is not helping you right now what do you what is helping you right now things like that where you address the positive and the negatives that really brings you to this neutral state that's what helps you get forward

but you don't have the energy to move forward because you have not accepted where you are now through true self-acceptance means like you know what yes i am a good person but also sometimes i'm a bad person sometimes i make mistakes sometimes i have bad habits sometimes i am really bad at putting my towel back up on the rack something as little as that or sometimes i'm a huge people pleaser or sometimes i'm really controlling vice versa sometimes i maybe am not in control of my life i'm just going with the flow too much so you when you cannot visualize or you feel like you don't even have the energy to move forward that's because there's something where you are now that you have not accepted um you've not accepted where you are or what you are doing or whatever

situation you are in in order to move forward and listen that's hard especially when I'm like you have to accept maybe you're in a shitty position you're like everything's not going right for me I'm not where I wanted to be I'm not growing I'm not changing I'm stuck in my parents house or I'm stuck in a bad relationship or I'm stuck people pleasing or I'm stuck in limerence like I'm not in tune with my life and when you try and fight that or when you try and not um accept who you are it puts you in this weird place of not being able to grow we must accept the things that are in our lives in order to change them and that means kind of facing those things that we are bad at or ugly about or you know not the best person about and going you know

what that's okay you're like what do you mean i should accept myself for the negative things in fact I think you should accept yourself more for the negative things than you should the positive things because that gives you the freedom of release all sometimes all you have to do to address a bad habit and to really change it is go wait I'm doing this bad habit wait I'm aware of me doing it that awareness the next time you do it you'll have that like click moment in your brain where you're like wait a minute I'm doing that thing again should I keep doing that thing or should i maybe change and maybe that time that first awareness is not when you make the change but 5 10 15 times down the line where you're like actually i'm so exhausted of being so aware of

what's going wrong i have no choice but to make the change that's when it comes if you want to you know be that self-motivated individual if you want to achieve big things if you want to go far if you want to move across the country all these big goals whatever they may be if you are unhappy with where you are now that is okay i'm not saying run forth towards these things because like you said you don't have the energy and baby i don't fucking blame you when you are unhappy with where you are and you're trying to even think of the next step to get to that big idea and big dream it's exhausting even thinking about it so let's start with just acceptance of where you are now even if it is shitty that's okay sometimes sometimes i just have to look myself in the

eyes and go damn that sucks damn this hurts this is terrible i hate that i do this whatever blah blah blah whatever the situation is and through that there's this like weight that's released off your chest and off your shoulders i had some shadow work journal prompts i uploaded on the patreon but also they are included um some of them are included in the sesh with me vlog so if you want the full list go watch that or go join either way but I think that would be very very helpful for you journaling has really challenged me to kind of dig deeper into what is making me a little unnervy what is making me a little unhappy in life and to also just like address it and that in turn brings acceptance of just like you know what it is what it is it is what it is right now

it is what it is in the future we have opportunity to change every day is a new day and a new opportunity for a brand new start but for now like it's okay to look at your situation and go this sucks and i'm tired and i'm exhausted that in turn will give you the awareness that you need to make a change in the future so don't stress yourself out with like these big ideas these big dreams that can get overwhelming very quickly it's a very easy way to make your brain shut off let's just focus on the now and what we like what we dislike what's working what's not working and then maybe work our way towards future goals future dreams and enacting habits that help you get there but like it really is like on the self-help journey baby it is one step at a time

and don't stress yourself out there's no need to do that be patient with yourself you will get there keeping your nervous system at bay when you're in college oh number one you need to get enough sleep and eat enough food yeah and drink enough water okay basics basics of survival maslow's hierarchy of needs baby you gotta sleep you gotta eat you gotta drink water bare minimum even if that means you're going to the dining hall and you're like damn i don't have enough swipes or enough passes and you are bringing tupperware with you and hiding it in your tote bag and sneaking food out okay i don't care what it is feed yourself um try and get at least eight hours of sleep if you can um go to class you're gonna stress yourself out and fuck

up your nervous system if you don't go to class and also having good friends around you i know it's gonna be scary to make friends but like having good friends around you having people to kind of complain with bounce ideas off of study with whatever makes things easier but the whole nervous system regulation of it all comes from just like the pressure that's put on you and you can find that pressure in college you can find that pressure in high school you can find that pressure from everyday living i'm in my late 20s and baby i find that pressure every single day my nervous system has been shot recently and one thing my psychic therapist so that's a sense told me is she's like i just lie to my nervous system i just lie to it i don't i lie to it it

does not have a rational brain your nervous system is not a rational um like component of your life it's a fight or flight reflex and if you lie to it and you go we're fine we're fine we'll figure it out it's okay even if you don't maybe necessarily feel that way at first but if you lie to it you will believe yourself okay that's how i've kind of chilled out when it comes to like chaos entering my life is i just lie to myself and i go everything will work out it'll be okay even if I'm looking at the most the biggest mess in front of me the biggest life mess you could possibly think of it even though it's happening in front of me like a dumpster fire I'm like it's okay everything's all right we'll be good it's all right it's all right smile the

pain sometimes that's really all it takes and I know easier said than done but all those other things will help build a little bit of a balance in your life where then when you do lie to your nervous system since you have all those other check marks done it'll actually believe you i promise you that my evil eye pendant traumatically broke last night thoughts well that's because it protected you from something that's the whole point of people wearing evil eyes of course it's to like ward off negativity bad karma whatever it is but also i find this with jewelry i lose with evil eye pendants that break with rings i lose with with any sort of important precious item that i use maybe intentionally or not intentionally for protection when it breaks

it's because it did its job protecting you from something negative all right that's literally what it's for i have a friend who she was big into astrology she's a girl i worked with for a long time and she had this really beautiful innate long long like 200 bead all the beads are like hand carved after like out of different beautiful crystals and stones like hand given to her by a monk like like the craziest story ever and she was like i wear this for protection but also i know when it breaks eventually it's protecting me from something and one day you know at work we're doing our thing and bam shatters all these bees hundreds of bees flying all over the the dining room floor like dramatically traumatically broken scattered everywhere and she was like you know what

I would be upset but it did its job and it protected me from something that I don't even want to know about because it was something so energetically damaging that it completely just shattered my necklace and that switched my belief very quickly into like oh yes okay let's not freak out okay lie to our nervous system a little bit but yeah that's the whole point of the evil eye evil eye pendants things you hang um maybe evil eye wall hangings that you put in your house they fall off the wall if they break if they shatter if you lose them that is because it did its job protecting you best course of action when your man's family is toxic oh if your partner's family is toxic dare i say and i know they have been conditioned in probably a very unfair way by

their family but it is their job to protect you from the toxicity and that might seem crazy of me but when it's your family but you better handle your family you really better handle your family because you know them better than anybody else you know how to read them and thus you must protect your partner from your family whether it's like not letting your family speak to them a certain way standing up for them in social situations even little things like I don't like when someone's partner will introduce them to a group of people even if the people are nice not toxic whatever friends family if they introduce them to a group of people and don't help them socially navigate that situation I think that is completely unfair and not good I understand the awkwardness of it

all but like the new person is going to be more uncomfortable than anybody else in that circle so help them out guide them through conversation not like a small child but just like hey this is hannah you know this is my girlfriend she does this she does this and like that will naturally bring along ease in conversation but when it comes to your partner having toxic family they either need to handle that shit or leave you out of it and i stand strongly beside that and that comes from me who my immediate family not toxic my extended family very weird and odd and judgmental in a way that it's like I haven't seen them in years and when I remember when my brother was bringing my sister-in-law around for the first time it was like weird energy it was very odd to the point

where my brother was like I'm just not gonna bring her over anymore and I was like you know what that is absolutely valid and props to you king for going my girlfriend's uncomfortable she doesn't like being around these people they are not nice to her let's remove them from the situation and her simultaneously and you know what she don't give a fuck she got a good family she doesn't want to deal with weird toxic people of course she's nice and kind and will put up with it in in a social situation like that but i do think there's a responsibility on your partner if you have toxic family to handle that shit or leave your partner out of it I hate when I see a couple and one of them has a massively toxic family and they let their family bully and be mean and be

horrible and be awful to their partner and they're like well that's just who they are yeah that's just who they are and they're fucking assholes like your partner I know through through love and everything whatever they say during the vows sure but also like you don't have to drag them through the mud sure they're joining your family but also it's like they really only want you for being honest so if your man's family is toxic and he won't stand up to them stay away if your man's family is toxic and he will stand up to them you know you can show up here and there it's okay to keep your distance a little bit but if there's no awareness baby i would just be like i'm not going around them they're mean to me and sometimes that is a big enough excuse okay you

don't have to deal with evil people in this world if you don't have to speak of evil people oh my god i haven't run into a karen in a long time you guys a long time i keep to my own i don't go often i specifically don't go to the suburbs often because that's where the karens kind of you know they find themselves there well yesterday i was like i want to do some shopping let me go to aritzia i love aritzia love their clothes love the styles very cute there's a dress i was eyeing and they had one and i wanted to try it on i'm like okay let's go to the suburbs jump scare and let's go to the aritzia well of course aritzia there's a million goddamn people in this place and i'm not even complaining because i live in the city and like of course there's a million people

around me at all times i can navigate accordingly i can be nice i can be kind but i went it was a whole process you go into a store and I love trying on clothes being in Japan really changed how I view shopping and I buy less online now and I want to go in the store and I want to hold it I want to feel the fabric I want to try it on before I spend 60 70 80 upwards of a hundred dollars on a piece of clothing like I want to vet this thing before I bring it into my life I don't need any more things in my house so unless it's like a hundred percent what I want maybe it's not coming in here so i go i do my thing i was chatting with the little sales reps cutie little girlies you know should i get this dress or should i get in this color is it too tight on me blah blah i get

through the whole process of it all 30 minutes later i'm walking up to the counter there is a woman at the counter with at least 50 items on the desk okay i'm like holy fuck did she just buy all this stuff no she's returning it a lot of rich people people with a lot of money will order a bunch of clothes online have them delivered to their house of course try them on there and then return them all that's like a very common thing if you have the money to front you order a shit ton of stuff figure out if you like it return it all so that's what she was doing she was there to return at least 50 items of clothing which is like actually bonkers and they're going over there see they're like okay yeah but there's one missing like we can't refund you for this full total

because this one item is missing i've never seen a grown woman break down this quickly well what are you gonna do for me i brought it in your people took it your people obviously lost it blah blah like literally triggering triggering triggering and it's like you have a 1800 gucci bag sitting on the desk right now i think you can take the l on a 30 t-shirt that is actually probably sitting in your closet right now but the one thing i've also learned about entitled rich people is and most people are not most rich people are not this way i will say um most of them are very kind you know compassionate caring but there's evil people all over the place and this lady in particular baby she could not take the l on this 30 t-shirt and she was turning these

sweet little high schoolers lives into hell well what are you gonna do for me okay are you gonna give me a gift card then since you obviously lost my item like i was actually and i was a little stoned so i was looking around like is anybody else seeing this and eventually i was like i had been standing in line behind her with 15 other people behind me and she's trying to curse out these people in front of me and it's like i need to check out there's at least eight sales reps trying to help this one woman that it got to a point that i was like hey i just need to buy this one dress can i step up here like let me save at least four of you from this crazy woman and the way she snapped it like snapped her head back at me saw the line and was like oh bitch i'm holding

up this many people and it was like yeah girl oh my god it was crazy but it's like when it comes to toxic people like that where it's like there is no getting like through to them they are either right or they're right you gotta either just like leave them where they are or run away as fast as you can run away as fast as you can because if i was that sales rep baby if i was checking her out she would have not no one to do with me i would have been like well take all your shit back home i am not refunding you and that's why i don't work there because i don't think that's allowed i don't fuck around with people even like i've been in the service industry for so long that it's like okay what's your problem i will say this people's face

what's your problem and also what can i do about it because if there's nothing i can do about it maybe i'm not standing here and letting you cuss me out so what's your problem and what can i do about it otherwise you're gonna see my back and my fat ass as i walk away how to love what you love and not give a fuck i think sometimes a being on the phone of course duh hello when we are different from every single other person on the phone makes us hate ourselves very easily so bitch get off the fucking phone or if you are on the phone follow weirdos i have no problem with the phone other than like unnecessary scrolling which i've gotten so much better at i've gotten so much better at unnecessarily unnecessary scrolling mostly by staying busy but also when

i am on the phone i follow some weird ass bitches on instagram everywhere i follow some weirdos i follow artists i follow horseback riders i follow nerds i follow gamers i follow politicians i follow like so many different people with like very weird very different interests from all the different facets of my life and them being just so 100% them whether they feel like it or not at least it's perceived that way in social media makes me feel more comfortable with who I am and my weird hobbies you know what I mean so of course surround yourself with like-minded people and if you find yourself surrounded by people who are judging you for the things you're doing like especially I found this in myself when I was growing up I was artsy I was weird I was kind of

I was like a tomboy I want to go play in the mud and like of course growing up in the suburbs I had my friends I had my really good friends but also it's like I did not fit in and that's the number one way to make yourself very uncomfortable with yourself I literally was so triggered when I went on this bachelorette trip for my bestie girlfriend and her mom is literally the devil reincarnated and maybe she knows this I can say this out loud like literally psychotic so much so that my mom and dad refused to interact with her and my parents are very straightforward thinkers but literally she would like torment us because we were being ourselves or being different or whatever whatever she could judge us for it's so so not helpful when you're in an environment

that doesn't receive you well so if you can like i understand if you're still at home or if you're stuck in your city for a little bit but think about places where you could be well received like maybe you're a fashion girl you love to dress crazy you love to do crazy things you're loud you're boisterous move to new york city okay maybe you're a little bit more shallow not shallow quiet reserved maybe shallow in the sense of like not like trying to really put yourself out there you like your small little things you like horses you like your country country kind of vibes you like animals okay cool maybe you move to the country and out of the big city like whatever makes sense to you and whatever fits your personality fits your personality for a reason

it will make you feel more comfortable being yourself that's why i love japan so much because it's like although i'm like a outgoing person as it may be perceived i actually love keeping to myself i love keeping to myself i love wearing my cute little stylish outfits i love keeping to myself i love headphones in i love shopping i love food and it was just like so beautiful and perfect so perfect and also half the time when people are judging you not even half the time 100 of the time when people are judging you they hate themselves they literally fucking hate themselves and that's why they are judging you last night i went out to dinner and we went to this like burger shack like cute little burger shack and there was this like alternative couple

that were like bodybuilder alternative people like obviously cheap meal devouring some hamburgers and then there was this like really religious couple that walked in and yes not all religious people are this way but these happen to be these people walked in they sat down and you know they were sitting next to each other and i love people watching so i was just i was just taking in the dynamic and i watched the bodybuilders get up clean up their trays do normal human things and leave and the girl and this religious couple looked at her husband and scoffed and rolled her eyes and i could tell she was just judging them for being themselves you are going to run into people who are going to judge you no matter what whether you close yourself off completely whether

you you know hide yourself completely whether you try and be modest this that whatever you are going to run into judgment judgmental people no matter what you might as well be yourself 100 you might as well be yourself okay because also they fucking hate themselves and that's why they're judging you you they could have been the alternative couple could have been you know turtlenecks on cross chain all right ankles covered whatever the fuck was going on and still that lady probably would have looked at her husband rolled her eyes and scoffed because she's a miserable evil bitch and you're gonna run into a lot of miserable evil bitches in this life but the last thing i want you to become is a miserable evil bitch and that's who you're gonna become if you don't let yourself be

yourself okay so you're gonna have to be weird you're gonna have to be a little freak you're gonna have to have strange interests i love a weird little freak in fact they're my favorite people because they are what say it with me they are themselves and when you are yourself no matter how weird and freakish it is you are a more confident individual you're not gonna really lie to people you're not gonna cheat people you're not going to be like two-faced you're not going to talk about them behind their back because you're confident in yourself and that means you're more accepting of others around you there is a peace of mind that comes with being yourself and of course you're going to get those moments where people are judging and you go wait

am i doing something wrong like should i not be into this you have to reinforce that thought with no these people just hate themselves and i'm happy to be myself you know don't let yourself get caught up with the messiness of it all but if you can really shape your environment to really uplift yourself and your personality it will do wonders whether that's like you're a furry and you go to one furry convention throughout the year love it you know as long as you're uplifting your your hobbies and your interests and who cares as long as your hobbies and interests aren't harming and hurting other people genuinely who cares i want you to be a weird little freak because that means you love yourself are confident in yourself are a good friend a good stranger a

good partner. You will show up for other people. And I think that's beautiful. Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca Visit BetMGM Casino

and check out the newest exclusive The Price is Right Fortune Pick BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you please contact Connects Ontario at

1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Girl, so I kind of wanted to ask you about any advice you would have for going back to college but not really feeling, like, welcomed or, like, a part of the community. I feel like I'm similar to you, as in I'm going to a private Christian college

and I'm not very Christian. and I wasn't, like, um, like, I'm just not really involved in that community, and I've really been trying to find friends at school, but it's, like, kind of hard, because I feel like once people find out I'm not Christian, or, like, I just don't really know much about the religion, they kind of, like, distance themselves, and I'm really just having trouble making, like, finding community, and, like, feeling welcome, like, any advice, um, you would have on that, or just, like, trying to feel more comfortable at school that'd be great thank you so much girl love you love the pod oh i love you and you sound so incredibly sweet you deserve all the friends in the fucking world

babe um i have a couple pieces of advice i made lifelong friends at my very small very private catholic college lifelong friends that i still speak to to this day i'm not even kidding like every single day you can find them you just gotta like the thing with navigating and isn't it funny how it's like christianity it's supposed to be welcoming and then it's like holy fuck why do you hate my guts um the funny thing about navigating the social situations is you can't you can't reveal your cards too fast all right if they're like do you want to go to church with me on sunday you can be like i got plans babe you don't have to go god's not real like you can keep that to yourself a little bit okay don't play all your cards at once but like when it came to navigating

those social situations and trying to figure out who i could trust who i could not trust or who would accept me for who i was you gotta start slow you know what are your backgrounds do you do you enjoy having a good time or you know like a lot of my friends i made were people who are willing to go party so maybe that's kind of the vibe you go after is the people who are willing to like go party go have a good time to you know sin a little bit maybe those are the people you lean into and you don't have to party like crazy style but just like who's going out on a friday night maybe you can tag along with them who's like doing things outside of the norm for all the other people at your college maybe you can tag along with them um and yeah like i said don't play all

your cards at once see who they are and then understand how much you truly want to reveal about yourself if it's a safe space or not um now number two i would say is you can make friends outside of college i went to college in omaha nebraska there's literally i mean that's a big city not in the not like in the grand scheme of things but like damn it's a wide-ass city there's so many people there but not all of them are gonna go to your college so maybe be open to meeting some friends outside of your college you know um going to local events going to local coffee shops meeting the barista chatting with them going to uh maybe just some like random pop up yoga events that are cheap or free um whatever your interests are continue those interests while

you're in college and then see who kind of falls into your circle who you got good chemistry with and then kind of judge them a little bit in a reverse flip it around like can i trust them can i reveal really fully who i am will they accept me for who i am you know don't play your cards all at once but the right people will come into your life if you continuously put yourself out there and i know it sucks when it's like damn everybody's turning me down one after another that's how i felt when i went to my college because like duh i'm surrounding myself with people who just are not similar to me but eventually eventually i found my people and they were the weirdo freaks that i love hello but you just got to keep trying look outside the box

obviously since you don't fit in the box let's look outside of the box join clubs introduce yourself talk to them if if they're like you want to go to church on sunday like i said you can lie a little bit to kind of feel out the vibes you don't have to reveal every single part of yourself immediately but eventually you will run into the right people i promise you keep going keep persevering keep pushing forward you got this got a hot date tomorrow advice for a successful first date oh how fun how exciting okay not me also checking out and they're like what is this dress for and i was like oh i'm going on a date and they're like you're going on a date i'm like literally just like with my friend like it's not that big of a deal it's not that big of a deal but

i love the enthusiasm oh okay advice for a hot date number one dress confidently dress confidently almost like you're going to an interview but leave the business casual at home and dress for your personality instead okay there's something sacred about the art of getting ready and taking time to get ready putting on some music maybe having a glass of wine to ease the nerves while you kind of just like get yourself together you want to feel yourself and you want to feel your best so don't wear that tight ass dress that doesn't fit okay don't wear you know don't hide yourself because you're a little nervous be confident in what you're wearing and be comfortable in what you're wearing it'll help you just present yourself better and don't be afraid to dress up a little

bit you know dress the part enjoy yourself get ready feel yourself out that's the best way to curate your own internal vibe that when you meet you'll be feeling your best most confident self for this date another pro tip when it comes to a first date as soon as you meet them like say you've never met them before but as soon as you meet them hi hello blah blah greetings give them a hug i know that sounds crazy but i feel like sometimes a lot of the tension when it comes to first dates is the distance in between you guys and the desire to close that distance or maybe not who knows but giving them a hug is a great way to break that anxiety break that weird barrier and to immediately kind of like obviously connect in that sort of way i think a hug is the best

thing to do as soon as you guys meet to kind of just break the ice okay now you get to the date whatever you're doing maybe it's an activity maybe it's a restaurant do not over drink do not over drink do not consume any substances if you're gonna smoke smoke a little bit do not get plastered out of your fucking mind okay it's the first date you want to be keenly aware to what is going on so you can read the situation with 100 certainty okay do i like the way he interacted with with this person is he being kind is he asking me questions am i am i gaining knowledge about the situation going on i am now that i'm older anti-substances on first dates a glass of wine maybe you're going to a dive bar to meet each other maybe you're meeting each other for drinks

cute fun eight glasses of wine that's not cute and fun anymore a little joint shared you're gonna take a little puff you're gonna take a couple puffs hand it back you know catch a little buzz cute fun facing a dab as soon as you meet them i mean unless you are a pro dabber then like that's one thing but like if you are not about that life and that's the first thing you do like just be aware be situationally aware now i feel like there's been a lot of weird rules placed on women about first dates recently on the discourse online where it's like you gotta wait at least three dates to go home with him or blah blah blah blah or you have to do this this and that or they must do this this and that before they're allowed to even kiss you on the cheek and it's like listen

i'm an intimate person i want to get intimate if you want to get intimate if you want to feel it out if you're feeling the vibes if you got chemistry and you want to sleep on the first day baby go for it if you're the exact opposite and you're like actually i need them to bitch do backflips before i'm like even interested in sleeping with them valid as well everybody is going to have different boundaries for what they're looking for what they're feeling what they're going after and whatever works for you is important stand beside that but i will never shame anybody for going home and sleeping with somebody on the first date who gives a fuck truly who gives a fuck we got one life if you're trying to get your rocks off girl go get your rocks off

enjoy your time use protection okay ask them if they've been tested recently let's do a little prep before all right but like also if you're not into it if you don't want to do it there's no pressure you shouldn't do it stand beside your boundaries that's why i think meeting in a third place is really important so then it's not like that pressure put on you now when it comes to splitting the bill i don't split the bill now that's a that's a dating rule that i'm about i don't split the bill but you know what i'll buy after dinner drinks i don't split the bill but you know what i'll get us next time do you see what i'm saying if you get asked on a date this is the most old-fashioned thing about me but if you get asked out on a date that is them putting attention

on you and also wanting to take you out and thus what they are they have to pay for it this is another thing i've learned from my father who is not a traditional male by the standards of things but treats women traditionally not in a way that they got to be in the kitchen cooking and cleaning but is like bitch you must respect them like you got to show respect and so one thing he would always say is he would ask me out to lunch we go out to lunch together and I would go to pay just to kind of be nice to appease the situation he'd be like no I asked you out it's my I'm treating you thus I must pay okay that's the one thing if you want to get after dinner drinks cool fine amazing if you like the vibes and they pay you can go i'll get us next time that's cute that's

fun that's funky that's fresh i love working at a restaurant and seeing a girl get up and go to the bathroom as soon as the bill comes i'm like period girl all right now if you asked him out then maybe you know maybe that's you're taking him out but i'm assuming it's not that way ask as many questions as you can ask as many questions like this is a job interview practically like ask him as many questions as you can how many siblings do you have where were you raised what was that about did you grow up on a farm you grew up in the city what did you study in college what are you going after do you have a five-year plan that seems like an interrogation but like yes this is an interrogation who are you who are you i don't know who you are ask questions and also i think

red flag if they don't ask you any questions real bad not good all right now at the end of it all whether you go home together whether you don't blah blah blah i think a follow-up is nice i think a follow-up of how you are feeling is nice even if the follow-up is damn that fucking sucked i hate your fucking vibes stay away from me now if it's that insane if it's that fucking bad you don't you don't have to follow up please don't but if it's just like we're not clicking i think a very nice follow-up maybe you know after the day maybe the next day of hey i really appreciate you know you taking the time to go out with me but I think I'm looking for something different or you know I don't think I can be the right person for you so I just wanted to be forward with you

about that I think that is very respectful and very kind and a great way to um stand on 10 about your emotions and your boundaries while also being kind to the other persons or opposite if it was fabulous hey thank you so much I had a great time I really enjoyed spending time with you i would love to do blank blank blank next all right instead of we should get together again soon where it's like open-ended come up with an idea hey do you want to go get drinks later on this week hey this movie's going do you want to go see a movie later this week that's a great way to keep the energy going all right i think this will set you up for success it'll give you the most benefit to yourself out of it and it'll really really consider that you both are going

have a good time leaving to travel the country alone at 19 i'm terrified tips oh baby you're gonna have a blast you're going to have a blast i find when i am out and about even in the city wherever alone traveling alone i connect with more people i open myself up to the world more and also people open themselves up to me more okay i love traveling alone i think traveling alone is so important especially if you're like I don't have a lot of self-confidence I have enough that I can like go to a coffee shop or go to a restaurant alone but like I want to build up that self-confidence go travel alone oh my gosh the way I was literally about to book a trip back to Japan you guys should I should I should I do it I would love to go back to Japan and I would love

to go alone where I can just like headphones in world out let's just go crazy let's go explore oh my god it's the best not only are you going to be able to do everything you absolutely possibly want yeah with a little anxiety but everything comes with anxiety even if you weren't alone so like who gives a fuck about that who gives a fuck about nervousness but also the world opens itself up to you okay you have to put yourself out there though go to that restaurant try that thing spark up a conversation with a stranger say hi to your neighbor you know ask for advice ask for tips ask for tricks people love to see others travel alone because that shows like bitch you really want it and you're self-confident and also they want to make your life better you get bonuses for going

by yourself i feel like when you go with two people you know that's an average amount of people even four people three people whatever a big group you know they are figuring you have your own routine you have your own thing you know very average experience but when you go alone you get bonuses especially as a young woman um you of course there's negatives to everything don't ever tell anybody like that you don't trust that you're like staying somewhere alone be safe read situations um of course there's always like risks to everything that's how life is don't just tell people hey i'm alone and i'm staying at this hotel hey i'm alone and i'm drunk and it's night time hey i'm alone and you know i don't know what to do tonight don't let people take advantage of you

but like if you're going out to breakfast and you're chatting with the waiter and you're like yeah i'm solo traveling it fabulous okay you will meet double the amount of people who are so proud of you for exploring and trying to make it as easy and worthwhile as they can truly people love to hear other people's stories especially couples especially older couples i've realized especially working in this new restaurant um they love to hear stories of young people traveling exploring living life they love to give advice they love to really try and like make your day special they love to really show up and show out for you they love to give you advice they'll just show you around literally the restaurant owner that i'm with right now he was like you should come to

europe with us like i would love to show you a good time him and his family are traveling he's like and his like uh his like work partners i would consider them yes but they're all like traveling through italy like next month which i don't need to go to europe in september i'm europe is not calling my name but japan definitely is again um but he's like i'd love to just like show you a good time introduce you to people that i know that i think could be beneficial for you he's also like a lot of talk but if i was to actually go with him that's how it would be and that's how a lot of people treat people who are traveling solo they want to make sure that your time is a good time not a lot of people want to make sure your time is a bad time that's for

sure of course read situations make sure you have things organized you are being safe but you're gonna have a blast two things you need if you are traveling solo by yourself actually three i'm gonna up it to three number one headphones i know take those headphones out when you're walking around introduce yourself to people talk to people you have to talk to people okay but headphones are fabulous if you're feeling a little bit randomly anxious if you kind of are wanting to tune the world out if you need to be by yourself headphones are fabulous and a necessity especially if you're traveling for a long period of time on a train on an airplane whatever headphones are great especially when you want to kind of lock in personally number two journaling journaling will be fantastic

journaling will be amazing if you're at coffee alone if you're at dinner alone you don't know what to do all right let's journal it out let's keep you know a count of our days let's kind of check in see how we're feeling journaling is great also maybe a really good book alternatively to the headphones a really good book that you can pop open that you can read when you don't know what to do socially you're tired of staring at random people walking down the street while you're at breakfast pop open a book people also love to spark up conversation what book are you reading i love that book oh my gosh do you have any you know book recommendations things like that i'm pretty sure that's a dual leap and her current husband met each other was they were reading the

same book okay and last but not least which you probably already have because it is included in your phone is a camera a camera document your time there whether it's on your phone i do prefer a digital camera but any sort of camera where you can really document your time kind of ground yourself in the moment to really just be aware of your situation to look for details to be aware of your environment i think a camera is fabulous to have but you're gonna have so much fun do not be scared nerves come with everything anything new you do will come with anxiety but once again lied to your nervous system which this is a truth everything will be okay everything will work out i'm gonna have a fabulous time i'm gonna go enjoy myself introduce yourself to your servers get out

in public do not be afraid spark up conversation offer to take photos for people if you're going to any sightseeing places that's how you get photos of yourself alone hey i'd love to take a photo of you oh thank you thank you and then you hand their phone back well can i take a photo of you yes please I'm here alone that'd be so happy that'd be so helpful they're taking your photo bam no selfie stick needed open your heart up to the world and you will be received but I hope you have a blast stay safe have so much freaking fun and if I can encourage anybody to travel alone I always will you don't always need someone else to experience life sometimes having yourself is enough actually most of the time having yourself is enough two and five canadians will hear the

words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca great news the federal ev rebate is back eligible customers get up to five thousand dollars with the federal evap rebate on select 2027 volt and 2026 equinox ev models visit your local chevrolet dealer today for more details hey hannah calling in all the way from australia um across on the other side of the planet still in winter right now so pray for me looking forward to summer

um i just want to say i've listened to your podcast for such a long time and you really got me out of the trenches in some of the evil evil situationships that i was in and you're like my big sister that i don't have on the internet and i just wanted to say thank you so much um so many people love this podcast and we see all of the hard work that you do and yeah just saying thank you for that um my question is a bit of context i'm in my final semester of med school which is super exciting um but i guess my question is how do you kind of come to terms with being at different points in your life to other people that you love like your friends and things like that i guess i'm kind of just struggling to deal with knowing that you know

my friends have a lot more freedom because they're not in school um and yeah their lives just look different to mine and they can spend their time differently and i guess i'm kind of struggling with knowing that we kind of have different life paths we're going in different directions but yeah thank you so much have an amazing day and sending love to all of the shorties oh the australian accent will always be peak for me i wish i was an australian baddie actually fun fact when i was like 16 talk about needing friends and well i was like in college i needed friends so bad that i randomly found this like cool girl on the internet maybe like a thousand followers but i fucked with her vibe so i followed her on instagram and then she would

always post with like her eight friends and they were in perth australia if i ever moved to australia i think i would probably live in perth anyways literally eventually ended up following the whole entire friend group they all followed me back so much so that like three of them dm me one night we're like hey we're throwing a party you should come over and it's like baby i live in kansas i just was fucking with your vibes but sometimes it really is that easy to make friends anyways shout out to my australian baddies but yeah no one talks about like the awkwardness of adulthood of kind of like the figuring it out like because obviously you've got to figure it out okay baby med school props to you the only thing you need to tell people is bitch i'm busy

with school but also it kind of gets to a point where you're like damn i wish i could go gallivant in a different country i wish i could go do this i wish i could do what my friends are doing i want to start a family my friends are starting a family but i'm just not there yet and that'll give you a lot of fucking FOMO and it's probably the most FOMO you will get in adulthood but also it doesn't mean you can't make it happen it just means you can't have it now and there's nothing worse than not having what you want right when you want it okay like like a child wanting a candy bar and it's like baby we're here to get the last ingredient for dinner no you're not having that fucking candy bar because I need you to eat dinner and you're like but I want it I want it I

want it I want it that's okay desire is good desire of wanting things in life is good desire of seeing friends also succeed or do things that you would like to do is good it's important to have friends in your life that of course are doing different things than you but also it's important to have friends that are doing similar things that as you are friends who you know are also in med school who understand your position who you know you can bond with in that sort of way but all of my friends that I think about are all doing vastly different things than me but I also have creative friends that maybe bring me more into a place where I'm not experiencing FOMO you know first of all you got to be proud of yourself and where you are but the in-between is awkward

especially as an adult maybe I'm in the in-between it feels like an alleyway in between two lives right now and bitch I'm getting jumped in this fucking alleyway I'm getting jumped and beat and batten and battered and bruised in this alleyway and it's like please just let me get to the door and when it comes to either explaining where you are in life or talking about where you are or you know you have those conversations with people maybe it's your parents maybe it's family maybe it's friends where it's like so what have you been up to and you're like well i wish i could say i'm in ireland i wish i could say i'm traveling the world i wish i could say i'm a doctor now but i just can't say those things sometimes all you have to say is i've been busy that's my favorite

excuse is like what are you doing oh I've just been so busy doing what oh I couldn't even explain all the things I've been busy doing it's like actually maybe I haven't been doing anything but also like I don't need to explain myself I don't need to explain myself to strangers I don't need to explain myself to family I don't need to prove my worth to family I know what I'm doing but also I just kind of need to take it one step at a time and I feel like that's maybe where you are too where it's like I'm in med school it's an easy thing to say I'm busy but also it's like and how do I explain you know what's going on you don't you can sometimes just be like I'm here and that's all I can think about all I can think about is where my two feet are planted right now

okay I can't share goals or aspirations or anything like that because I don't want to block my blessings okay but yeah you just gotta be patient don't let the FOMO get to you you will eventually do all the things you have ever dreamed of but with patience comes reciprocity from the universe is that a word like reciprocation reciprocity did i just make that up nope it's a word good good news but i do think sometimes the longer you wait for things not in a um like i'm just gonna sit around and i hope it happens but more so like okay i'm planning a goal eight months from now i'm planning a goal eight years from now the longer you wait and work towards something the bigger the payoff is so don't even worry about what you're doing don't even worry about what

people think about what you're doing just stand firmly where you are and take it one step at a time it's like what do you do for a living bitch i do my best i do what i gotta do and i do my best is that enough for you okay cool how about i tell you about this meal i ate this morning that's a great way to talk new restaurant i tried great way to kind of divert attention new coffee shop i tried great way to divert attention new show i'm watching new hobby i'm picking up great ways to divert attention from like the long-term plan goals of it all i i hate when people ask me so what are you what are you doing what an open-ended answer like baby i'm painting and trying to stay sane is that enough no it's usually not so let me just hit him with the i'm busy well i tried this

new restaurant well i am picking up a new hobby well i am planning ahead in this way you're in school great excuse fabulous excuse okay med school everybody's like oh period you know eventually you'll catch up eventually you'll have that free time eventually be able to kind of join your friends who are a little bit more wild and crazy in life but stand true to what you want stay strong like i said just stand firmly feet planted one step at a time trust you'll have it all figured out and eventually the payoff will be so incredibly worth it and i'm proud of you okay and when i visit australia we can hang out because i want to go to australia real bad i just don't know if i can do the spiders that's my only thing i don't know if i can do the spiders the

wildlife over there is actually crazy i don't i don't even understand i don't anyways what are your fall winter plans or goals i don't even know what my summer goals were i gotta check back in on that but fall winter i think my goals are a purge my house i need i have too many things around me i mean bitch look behind me i got too many things i gotta purge number two squirrel away money because i need to move so squirrel away money and purge my house to make moving easier long-term goals long-term goals eat an apple cider donut go pumpkin picking go apple picking frolic in a field do more horseback riding once the flies die off pick up a leaf off the ground like bitch very chill very easy things but like planting the seeds kind of things you know

a lot of the things that blossom in the spring were planted in the fall believe it or not like they don't start growing in the fall obviously but they are rooted and planted deep into the earth so when things get cold and eventually get warm again they are set up for success to grow so now is my planting season where it's like what am i thinking of what am i wanting to do what long-term goals am i setting how can i set myself up for success what are little things i can do every single day to help myself that's what i'm doing right now is fall approaches and also like getting outside still okay we're gonna be inside long winter i've been told by the farmers the farmers have told me and yes i do talk to real farmers that we are due for a very chaotic winter i don't

know what that means they called it some big term that scared me a little bit but we're due for a chaotic winter and i know that's true because it's been a chaotic summer believe it or not with the amount of random rain we're beginning random thunderstorms random tornadoes random heat spikes the humidity has been out of control i'm not surprised that we're gonna have a bit of a chaotic winter so fall being as chill as it is coming up i'm going to try and take advantage of that chill energy and really just ground myself plant myself plant my ideas and stand firm in who I am with that being said we are rounding out to the end of our podcast because I have things to go do I gotta go walk my parents dog again love her down but like damn my parents need to stay

in America they need to stop traveling overseas what the fuck is going on where did they find this money baby I don't know two public school teachers you tell me actually it was just saving all of the fucking money they had so yep I also need to get some food in me and continue vlogging my day like i said if you want to see that vlog that will be up early on patreon patreon.com if i did not get to your question this week submit it there i answer every single question yes every single question so if you are in dire need of advice that's where you can find me regular uh vlogs will be up on youtube at hannah marlene 444 if you want to see what i'm up to um what i've been doing new recipes new photos new fun little crazy things um that'll be up on

instagram plus you can submit your questions there at hannah marlene that's where i take all the call-ins and i'd love to hear more call-ins please i'd love to hear you guys's voices and connection that way but with that being said stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.