Smoke Sesh - self love, sugar babies, party girl era & flirting

Episode Date: February 14, 2023

hellooooo cutie girls, happy Valentine’s Day to all my loves out there!! currently uploading this on a airplane on my way to Seattle but I can’t miss a week without you all. We have a super fun episode today, starting off by chatting about decluttering your life and your house, sugar babies and running men for their money, dumb men, forgiveness, how to flirt for my shy girlies, eating ass, girl best friends, being a hater, having fun in social media, lube, kitty cats, weed addiction, chaotic years and making memories while enjoying, entering my party girl era again, and much much much much more. Hope you enjoy and have a little bit of fun listening, if you want to keep up with me follow me on instagram @ hannahmarlene and I’ll see you all again next week!! Ily! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Hello, good morning, how the hell are you guys doing today? if you're seeing this is released like at 8 a.m 9 a.m 10 a.m not like the afternoon evening it's because it's pre-recorded very excited to sit down and hang out with you guys but Tuesdays are our

usual hangout days and Tuesday is Valentine's Day and on Valentine's Day I will be waking up at 6 a.m to get on a flight to fly to Seattle so I will be in the air for like eight hours and as much as I would love to be in the air on an airplane doing a podcast chit-chatting about my sex life my mistakes my deepest darkest regrets i do not if want i don't know if i want to subject those poor people to that although it would be very entertaining i figured you know i'll be on my boss shit i'll sit down i'll pre-record it so thank you to all the cuties who have been submitting um things to do in Portland little ideas snacks coffee shops restaurants I really appreciate it because I have a habit of going to cities and having no idea what's around me but then also

like falling in love with that city because I'm just so open and so into discovering along the way um highly recommend if you are traveling anywhere like tentatively plan things of course but also like allow yourself to truly experience the city that is the way to do it but if you have any more recommendations would love to hear it you can go and submit them to my instagram at hannah marlene that's where i kind of check up on things but happy valentine's day i love you all thank you for being here thank you for constantly showing me so much love i hope i show enough love back to you i'm genuinely so appreciative of you and yeah love love love love love love you know what i mean the day that i am recording this though is actually super bowl sunday yeah uh-huh

and as you guys know i'm from kansas city so my entire city has just been like on a week-long party bender which is like extremely fun extremely exciting but it's gonna be really sad if we lose i don't know if we're gonna lose who knows you'll be listening to this and we'll know the answer all i'm really excited for is to see rihanna um but yeah i'm gonna go out get really fucked up maybe stop at my parents house for some brisket and that's the way of celebrating a football game in Kansas City barbecue and a lot of alcohol and a lot of weed now that's right now that it's recreational love that for us anyways with that being said not much to catch up on I love you all if you want to see what I'm doing for Valentine's Day see how I'm doing on my vacation like I said

follow my Instagram I'm probably going to be spamming that on Patreon I'm hoping to do some vlogs some little posts here and there even though I'm on vacation I will still be working and hanging out with you guys because listen I don't like taking days off I miss you you know what I mean I have such a blast doing this and I think it really reflects how much fun people have listening and participating in the content I create so listen it's a season of giving and I want to give back to you guys so love you feel free to catch up on any of those platforms but yeah like i said today's the day for the podcast so let's dive into some of these crazy questions you've submitted me we'll start small and then work our way into the more juicier stuff but

someone asked how do you keep a decluttered space so if you find that life is a fucking whirlwind and all of a sudden you're looking around and you're like everything is everywhere all at once and it's a mess and i don't know what's happening it's probably because you haven't delegated time to taking a moment to like stop and just collect yourself um and i get it life is crazy life sweeps you up and all of a sudden you're somewhere else but it's really important to like have at least part of the day every day where you can just take like under five minutes it's really all it takes if you i mean take a little bit of time every day to just tidy up and clean up and make sure that you have a space that is comfortable for you because i get it like my space gets out of control

really quickly because I have so many clothes and I change my outfits and then I'm drinking like 10 drinks at one time so there's cups everywhere and there's like shoes everywhere and smoking things everywhere and there's dead flowers and I'm like oh my god too much all at once so if you can just take every day to delegate a little bit of your time for me personally it's in the morning because I have more time to myself in the morning because I work at nights maybe yours is the opposite you go to work in the mornings you get home you take your time to rest relax decompress and then like maybe after dinner you do like five ten good minutes of just like okay clean up um and that's basically decluttering um like I said mine's in the morning and then I'd usually do a

weekend day where I have more time to do like a full hour to deep clean um maybe every other week if life is crazy but I try and do every week just to be like sweep vacuum mop if I need to clean the bathroom water my plants take out trash you know the big things but every day less than five minutes that's all it'll take you to declutter just find a time that works for you whether it's morning maybe afternoon evening um and then really really try and keep up with it and honestly keeping up with it feels good because you will notice a reflection in your space and you'll have more of a um impulse to keep doing it so find that time do it you got it someone asked about sugar babies using men and karma um i feel like i could wrap this all into one i have never been a

sugar baby me questioning that no i don't i've never been a sugar baby i've never had a sugar daddy i have had many and plenty of friends who have had these kind of connections um but i feel like as young women we're sold this idea that like yes you can be paid for your company which you can't be paid for your company absolutely but men who are in these positions are inherently interested in something sexual they're not interested in our relationships you have to understand that there's a sexual aspect to these things and i personally have no interest in providing old men sexual things for money um in fact it turns me off if anything i get it turns some women on listen we're all into different things we all have different kinks we all have

different traumas from childhood i i get it i'm not shaming i'm just saying my personal preference which is why i have never been able to dive into it like even at work um i mean as a server you can run men for their money every single day um men come in want to sit down want to chit chat with a cute waitress i have a friend who i work with who's like has a sugar daddy but it's not technically a sugar daddy he just comes in every once in a while and after the strip club and then we'll just give her all the rest of the ones that he has which is like hundreds of ones um and i mean you know she flirts with them she flips her hair but she's not doing anything crazy um so there's like different way you can run men for them for their money and if you're in the position

to and you feel comfortable i have nothing against it i say fucking go for it i really have no issue i remember my first run-in with like a real sugar daddy i was serving like freshly serving like maybe 19 and there's this young girl who came and sat down and this older man and i was like okay what's going on here dad and a daughter like he was wanting to get drinks he was all over her and i was like oh that is not normal and then i didn't even have to think anymore about it he was just like oh you know well uh I met her the same way I'm meeting you right now like she was my I was a regular at her restaurant she was my waitress and you know and then I just started offering to pay for her nursing school and pay for her apartment so I'm just helping her out while

she finished his school and she looked like slightly embarrassed and was kind of like hitting him like stop you know like hey don't bother this young girl but I was like listen no judgment get your fucking money up and now that i know that he's interested in helping you get your money up i'ma run his tab up because i know he probably tips well because you are hanging around him and getting a lot of money from him so let's work together girlfriend love you can i get you a drink can i get him a drink can i give him three drinks can they ordered like seven entrees i didn't even eat any of them they had like a couple bites off each they were living their best life and i was so into it but with any sex work like it is sex work sugar baby sugar babying is sex work and you

have to understand that there is going to be that element of sexuality um now if you just want to run men for their money and get money become a bartender become a waitress become a server you know work in the industry you can absolutely make money like even sales wise like if you worked in the shoe department or like a high-end clothing department where men are just like i need to buy these things for women you could be like oh well let's get the most expensive purse the most expensive shoes you really want to show off you know what was your mistake how are you trying to apologize you can run men for their money that way many different ways to run men for their money though but no i have never never sugar babied definitely thought about it but then i've just

been like oh i can't i'm really bad at putting off in like a fake smile like even at work when men come in and i know they're just businessmen who want to be like giggled at i'm like i i don't care I don't want to inflate your egos anymore I have no interest in doing that like I really am not a girl who can just put on a smile and laugh through it because it just makes me fucking annoyed like I already put up with enough shit from men I just hate playing the game I do I could be good at it I just don't have the energy to put into it but if you have the energy to put into it go for it because it is lucrative and i mean that and like from a serving bartending standpoint get your money from men that way um i have never a sugar baby so i really can't speak on that never

done sex work so i really can't speak on that and also like i've felt the pressure as a young woman to get into sex work because it's just like oh you're a woman object your side objectify yourself make money you know and i feel like a lot of women feel that pressure especially young girls which is kind of fucked up so i don't want to put any more of that pressure out there into the world or you know kind of give those ideas to young girls if it is something you want to do if you are doing it if you are a sugar baby sex worker i love you i support you i hope you're staying safe and i hope you make all the fucking money in the world um but yeah i would love to hear from buddy from oh my god from somebody if you would like to call in any of my cutie little spoke slash

listeners any advice any input any fun stories from your life would love to hear but yeah as somebody who has never lived the life or been in that situation feel like i'm not too qualified to speak on getting money for men that way if that makes any sort of sense oh i got the worst cotton mouth right now oh my god also if men listen to this and they're like oh women using men for their money what the fuck yeah bitch okay when the system is literally set up that we inherently make less money than you simply based on the fact that i'm a woman best believe i'ma objectify you a little bit in the ways of i'm gonna need some money okay i feel like that's simply put only fair okay and if you are a true feminist no i'm kidding i'm just like it's so

dumb when men are like oh she's gold digging and i'm like first of all you are broke so i don't think there's any girls gold digging from you and the men the women who are gold digging from men i don't think those men care because they have enough money to not care and want to support women anyways oh my god hannah what the fuck do i do okay so basically my boyfriend called me like freaking out and he said that he like fucking saw a bitch on instagram reels like an only fans girl and like hit the link in her bio or some shit i don't know but he like basically tried to look at her OnlyFans I I don't know he said he like was feeling horrible and all that and he like came to me and told me by the way we are long distance I probably should have brought that part

up and I don't know I'm not like mad at him because he was so upfront with me and like I told him that like if I actually had to like dig and like find this out I would be super angry but the fact that he was like forthright and honest like I forgive you I said I love you so there was a good bad ugly and embarrassing but what the fuck do I do how do I get over this okay lots of thoughts here don't even know where to go with this but it depends on how your relationship is if OnlyFans is like not a big issue with you and you're just like oh yeah you bought OnlyFans I'm not really too concerned or upset with it cool I don't think you really need to talk anymore about it or do anything else but if this is a big thing in your relationship and you're like oh this is like on

on par with cheating um then i would take time to investigate to the fullest absolutely like put that man on trial like i'm not even kidding i'm not sometimes you have to do that when within relationships um especially because you feel like you if you feel like your trust has been broken slightly you have to put that person on trial you cannot let them get away with whatever they got away with of course working towards the idea of understanding and forgiveness and moving on but when you are the person who's been hurt it is the other person's duty to make that up to you it is not your duty to figure out your jealousy issues or to figure out your insecurity issues you know it is their job to apologize make it good rebuild that trust so make that abundantly

clear to him okay you gotta put that man on trial like what are we actually talking about was it really only fans or something else what's going on ask all the questions you need to ask take the time to interrogate him take the time to also like um really make sure it's about you and i say this lovingly because i feel like a lot of men fuck up and then put it on the women to be like okay i did this shitty thing now you figure it out good luck here's the information i feel better because i got the information off my chest now good luck you got to deal with the trauma you got to figure it out and when you bring it up i'm gonna be mad and i'm gonna be upset and i'm gonna shut down and not say anything and it's like no no no it is his responsibility and his duty to rebuild that

trust with you and to make sure that everything is good so make sure that is abundantly clear make sure you do full investigation okay and figure out how long his sentencing needs to be but i love you you can get through this put that man on trial for real i feel like more women need to do that in relationships because i get so many dms of women being like he cheated on me but i forgave him and i just still don't feel like the trust is there it's like the trust is not there because he did that shitty thing and then did nothing to make it right absolutely nothing so like he better be working his ass off that's all i gotta say someone asked making the first move for the anxious girlies okay so this is a great question um i'm also very anxious and i will

literally think through like how many footsteps i have to take to get close to that person that's how anxious i am like over analyzing overthinking everything so first of all you just gotta let yourself like step back and chill okay just like take a second to let yourself breathe before you even think about approaching this person just take back or take a second to step back chill let yourself breathe and remind yourself that like they're just another person like they're just another person just as flawed just as fucked up you probably have this weird visionary ideal of him in your head that is just not true nor existent in the real world and you're gonna find that out if you spend more time with them or even get to know them it's gonna take a few months but

you're gonna realize they're really flawed and fucked up because every single human is so you might as well knock them off that pedestal early like yes you like them you're interested you want to get to know them but they're not this perfect like god you know and i feel like when we have crushes we put people up and we just think of them that way which i love crushes because you also raise yourself in that kind of way you you view them as these like gods but then you also start viewing yourself the same way because you want to raise yourself to their level in order to be able to get to know them and to connect on some in some sort of way so that's like fine and dandy but it can be a way to make yourself feel smaller and push yourself down and not actually go towards

your goals so just knock them off that pedestal they're human you're human that will help with a lot of anxieties now approaching people is interesting um I don't do a lot of approaching because I love to be chased but I understand that can only go so far and there's going to be times where you have to step out of your comfort zone and approach some people so I'm like crazy if there's one person that I really like like I will take time I will take the time to make sure that i get that person literally first boyfriend i ever had i spotted him on tinder ew do not recommend do not date men from tinder this has been a psa from hannah marlene okay do not date men from tinder you are going to be severely disappointed um that app specifically and he

was like a hippie oh this hippie free spirited man which is like what i was into at the time so good for her but she definitely could have done better me talking about myself like I am not the same person um and I saw that he was like free spirited total peace hippie groovy love vibes so I went to my profile changed every single picture to a hippie dippy free spirited picture any of them that I could find okay took down all the like sorority girl photos that I had I was not in a sorority but I definitely gave off that energy um and then I literally this is so cringy but it worked it worked I changed my bio to I knew this would trap this man I knew it I said I said I'm the type of girl you find in the corner of a party smoking a joint and talking

about the universe and i i trapped him i changed that shit up and then i messaged him and i was like hey hard eyes and then we dated for a year and a half so like you have to do some thinking and a little bit of plotting and also it's kind of fun you know and this can go in any sort of situation whether it's like an online outreach and i'm not saying change yourself for them but like you know think about them oh they're they're into this they like this thing oh maybe you like the same music um you know and then use that as a way to like spark up conversation and it feels very natural that way or you can literally like if you have the balls and you know what you want just be like hey you're cute you want to go out sometime like you can do that

but if you want to take it slow chill easy way I say just bring up something that you guys might have in common because it's way easier to talk about something you have in common and bond that way than it is for you to be like i like you do you like me check yes or no like that is a lot and i get it but if you have the balls if you're that kind of girl go for it go for it okay um but yeah sometimes you just have to like find a good middle ground and also like don't hold back be yourself be how you would behave as a friend okay um because i feel like it opens the other person up to being way more comfortable it also lets you tap into this energy this comfortability that will inherently make you feel comfortable within the setting because you are behaving as

if you would with a friend and then also like if they reject you or it doesn't go further or you get ghosted or whatever the fuck happens they don't respond you understand that you are coming from a place of pure love joy compassion of yourself and if they can't see that understand and appreciate that love joy compassion for you and share that with you then they're not the kind of person you need to have in your life does that make sense like it's just getting all the hard things out of the way before getting too deep into the relationship and realizing you know nothing about that person so take a slow plot a little bit like i'm a crazy bitch i'll plot a little bit you know i'll do some research make sure i know who i'm talking to find something you guys have

in common bring it up if you are see each other in school you know compliment them on a hoodie compliment them on a shirt whatever it happens to be shoes um be like hey can you help me with homework hey you know can you help me study this like so many different ways to approach it but it's all about releasing your inhibitions opening yourself up staying true to yourself and also like going for it and also if it does happen that it's not going to work out don't take it personally okay really don't the universe is going to bring people into your life who are honestly good and bad for you so take the time to really weed out who you want in your life okay I feel like I live my life kind of letting other people scoop me up in their life and take me along the way and I had

to really realize like hey this is my life I can make decisions and really direct where I want my life to go i just have to step up and take that active role and if you don't step up and take that active role you will never find out what your life could be so step up bitch tell that man he's cute okay tell him you want to suck his dick i'm sure he'll say yes okay anyways uh someone asked tips on getting your ass eaten my boyfriend wants to and so do i but i'm scared of shit going down like actual shit i don't think shit's actually gonna like come out of your body i promise you babe like you're good proud of you for wanting to get a little freak nasty very exciting things to explore especially with a partner that you're trusting with and you want to get to know a little

bit i recommend like if you're just like scared of ass play because like i get it like i don't know i think i'm a pretty clean person but i understand the like scaries about it take a shower together like shower hang out in the shower you know wash each other like you can make it romantic put on some music turn on mood lights fuck i don't know and then like get out you know spend some time together just like combing your hair drying off and then take it into the bedroom and then you won't be fearful of anything like that and if you are interested in ass play and you also want to like take the pressure off of like oh my god I'm receiving all of the attention is on me because I get anxious like that like especially getting eaten out or

anything like that it's like okay all the focus is on me and that's a lot for my brain to handle because then I get like an anxiety attack and I don't know why I don't know I don't know how to even unpack that but it's like I'm too focused on myself and for me to be able to enjoy I have to kind of release that attention that i have in myself because i'm way too self-centered and way too self-focused so i recommend 69ing like get on top perfect position for him to eat your ass if you want him to like do it correctly you're gonna have to sit up a little bit but like i think that's perfect to kind of take the pressure off of you you can still pleasure him while he is also exploring a little bit um and then it's not so like focused on that one thing that you're both

kind of nervous about it's like allowing you both to explore have fun at the same time um or just like bend over and stick your ass in the air and let him go to town that's also like sorry about the cars like i said super bowl sunday people are going fucking crazy um yeah literally just let him go to town it's fun you'll have a blast you'll enjoy it I pinky promise and if you don't at least you try something new and spoke up for yourself love you hey girly um I just wanted to say that I love the podcast and I love you you have helped me so much um but I just have a situation where my boyfriend has a girl best friend and it's not that I don't trust him or her but like how do I stop myself from like getting so jealous like I've just been cheated

on like multiple times in the past and it's not that I don't necessarily like trust my boyfriend now it's just like my old insecurities um so how do I like get my brain to stop being so jealous and overthinking so much thanks girl love you okay I love this question because you're coming from like honestly a pretty solid place like you trust him you love him to death you know he's not gonna do anything um and you trust her which is amazing because i feel like in a lot of the oh my boyfriend has a girl best friend situations it's like you don't trust one of them and you would ideally like to at least trust both or your boyfriend but maybe you don't trust the girl been there uh yeah the girl definitely wanted to fuck my boyfriend but also like she made that abundantly

clear to me this girl you can trust that's amazing wonderful fantastic um I understand also coming from a place of like insecurity from past relationships and I'm sorry that happened to you I'm sorry you're having to struggle with it now no one deserves that but the best thing you can really do for your partner especially coming from a place where like hey I've been hurt in the past no matter what it was is to be open and honest and then also communicative about how you would like the situation to be handled so instead of being like yeah i've been cheated on in the past dot dot dot and then just going about it like it's normal relationship be like hey i've been cheated on in the past so i'm gonna need some extra reassurance or i'm gonna need you know

more trust or more access to you or i'm gonna need you to be like extremely abundantly honest with me because trust is very important um you know give some solutions that will genuinely help your partner be able to reach out and help you along the way um so like whether it's um like for me my boyfriend I don't we don't have each other's location but we constantly keep each other updated about our day and if we you know have really busy days we like to come together at the end of the day to talk through it and be like well this is what I did and this is what he did and also like trusting that um you have not been in a position with your partner um to really feel insecure and feeling uplifted through that um whenever those anxieties or that jealousy kind of comes in

remind yourself of that you know remind yourself of the good that has happened instead of worrying about the past and what did happen offer some opportunities for your partner to step up and really help you along the way be honest about your traumas and the things you have been through so then they can come from a place of understanding um and also stand up for yourself if there are boundaries that you need to set in place set those boundaries okay if you're like hey love you and your girl best friend maybe i'm not super comfortable you guys being alone together i feel like that's okay especially if it's a new relationship like you can set that boundary and then move forward to a place where maybe you're more comfortable more freedom less restrictions

but i do understand you know feeling that insecurity um and maybe not wanting them to be completely alone together or like maybe just being like hey we can all hang out together inviting her over so like when you're over so then you can get to know her maybe you two can build a wonderful friendship especially if you can trust her and your partner um there's many different ways to approach this I understand a lot of relationship and um uh relationship anxiety can come from this um but when you are feeling those insecurities or feeling that feeling that anxiety pop up really just take the time to sit down or remind yourself like why you love him why he's supportive of you things that he has done to support you um and I feel like it's a

really good way especially when I get in that jealousy mindset to be like okay calm down everything's okay talking myself off a ledge here we're stepping back you know we're figuring it out and then kind of move on and do something for yourself in order to kind of um reaffirm that feeling and that comfort within yourself you know what i mean i hope this helps okay someone asked um how to practice more self-love i'm my own biggest hater felt been there absolutely been there many a times um i did find this quote this morning talking about self-love that i want to read before kind of recapping how i feel um but it says your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself if your goal is to love yourself then your focus is directed inward

toward yourself and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside disconnected trying to summon the correct feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of if your goal is to love being yourself then your focus is directed outwards towards life on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment be the subject not the object it doesn't matter what you think of yourself you are experiencing life life is not experiencing you okay i feel like this is a great thing to bring up beforehand because i feel like a lot of that like self-depreciating self-hate kind of mindset comes from a outside perspective and is not like beneficial in any sort of way when I was younger I used to hate on myself all

the time I feel like the self-depreciating jokes and all that were like in um like making a fool of yourself in a sort of way was like the it's kind of humor but now I think a lot of us who went through that and have grown up have realized that that really reinforced a disconnect from ourself because we were standing outside as if we were the spectator looking in on ourself and laughing and that was really um destroying trust we had built within ourself and comfortability comfortability we had built within ourselves and really ruined a lot of our relationships with ourselves um especially for me um it's like take it as if you were sitting next to a friend for example if you were constantly looking at them and making fun of them over and over and over again

and not taking a second to even uplift them or support them they're gonna feel shitty and they're gonna want some distance and they're not gonna want to be around you justifiably so but the difference with ourselves is we cannot escape ourselves so something that we have to work on constantly is our relationship within ourselves and you have to do it from a place of self-love both of which are I mean self-hate and self-love are the ends of a spectrum and with the end of the spectrum being so vastly intense it's honestly kind of easy to switch intensities so I went from a place of like five years of just like debilitating hate to six plus years me now of debilitating love and it's like if I get those moments of self-hate if I get those moments of

depreciation I immediately am just like no no we got to do a full 360 we got to go to the opposite of the spectrum and even if I don't feel like it I will try and push myself and really just god these fucking cars i'm gonna lose my mind tired of loud cars i don't care your dick's small you don't have to yell it at the world anyways um where was i uh yeah you really just have to push yourself to the other level and i found that really helped for me just kind of initially trying to switch your mindset over to like a self-love mindset then you can work on the nuances of it all of appreciating all emotions good and bad and ugly appreciating the ugly as well as the good but you got to get to the good and appreciate the good and get out of that negative mindset

before you can really appreciate it all so you have to practice just like immediately as soon as those thoughts come in like it's like a dog when it starts jumping on you you have to be like no no we gotta stop sit down you know grab a treat sit let's practice this and move on and after a while you'll catch on I know it's dumb to kind of like compare our brains to dogs but I'm not gonna lie it is that simple um so practices that have worked for me are like immediately giving myself five compliments um immediately like um you know giving myself five affirmations to write off putting affirmations on the mirror I'm putting affirmations in places where I maybe get triggered easily making them my phone lock screen stuff like that where it's a constant

and gentle reminder and a quick easy way to change that mindset whenever it does come in um now when it comes to self-love like i said you have to love being yourself not love the character that you are of course we all have different ways of being we all have different ways of truly being ourselves and taking time to listen and get in touch with that and truly uplift that is going to fix that trust that you might have broken with yourself or that um you know love that has been gone taking time to sit with yourself and appreciate yourself and get to know yourself better is what's going to heal that relationship with yourself and not denying yourself of what you're truly called towards if you're called towards those hot pink sparkly boots bitch put

those hot pink sparkly boots on if you're called towards the oversized 3xl hoodie you don't want to get ready today okay fine that's amazing let's go for that but listening truly what's going on inside and then leaning into that and taking control of your life and not letting life happen to you but actually moving life in the path that you wanted to go is going to make you inherently more trusting in yourself which is going to make you more confident ultimately because I feel like confidence is just ultimate trust in yourself and trust that you have your back and you're going to show up for yourself and you're going to listen to yourself and listen to your gut and listen to your brain and listen to your body signals and what and pick what is good for you

and go for that no matter if it's going to be hard or easy you're going to go after what you need to go after in order to make your life good for yourself do you know what i mean and sometimes the good thing is not always the easiest um i tweeted this the other day i have been using twitter a lot recently i think it's just because i'm in a manic state but it's my twitter is at smokes as shoddy um and i said i find peace in knowing i do everything i can to make myself happy and honestly it is as simple as that um it's gonna be the hard choice unfortunately choosing yourself but it will be a million fucking times worth it i promise you do it do it I dare you I dare you trust yourself love yourself because I love you hi girlies hi Hannah

my name is Aries I'm about to smoke a bowl maybe three don't know fuck around and find out I got two things one Hannah I have an internship at a pottery studio and I constantly am listening to your podcast while I am throwing and doing my silly little tasks it brings me so much joy that you have taken classes with your dad I love clay I love clay so much it it just it is so healing and I love I just everything about it is so good and second of all I as of tomorrow I'm gonna be done with applying to schools and I'm gonna be waiting to hear back I took a gap year figured my shit out and you inspired me you know you went to our school a little bit and if you can do it I can fucking do it and it's such a big milestone and I don't really have anyone to tell me that

they're proud of me and I just felt like I needed a little bit of hype for that my parents are in the picture and I did this all by my fucking self and I'm gonna do it and I'm gonna do it fantastically and it's gonna be fucking great and I just want support love oh my god congratulations you seem very passionate which is really all it takes to be able to achieve your dreams is passion a little creativity a little drive a little heartbreak a little love you know what I mean you seem to got it all so good for you so proud of you I bet you will slay it up in school and also you already have an internship so amazing I gotta stop taking pottery because I keep getting these just like badass acrylic nails which I love and I'm obsessed with but also you cannot do

pottery with them in college actually this is a funny story um last college class that I actually took was a pottery class was not interested in doing pottery whatsoever but hey you got to be like multidisciplinary um especially when it comes to art school they're gonna make you do literally everything no matter if you want to or not and you better be good at it so we were supposed to make these like four foot pots based off of like ancient pots that we had seen and we were each giving a time period to kind of base them off of the way they were built the way they were shaped the decorations all that fun jazz um and my professor was like you have acrylic nails you cannot do this you will not be able to make pottery that is good or cute or fun or funky or

fresh because your acrylic nails are going to stab into it it's going to be extremely hard and difficult to work with and when anybody ever tells me no I'm always like they don't mean that like they don't mean that like they don't they don't really mean that like I can do it I know she's saying I can't but everything in me is saying I can so my ass literally did this whole entire thing with acrylic nails out of spite spite for what i don't know like she was just giving me genuine advice like hey babe just take them off for the semester you'll be okay i was like no no i don't have time for that i'm going to keep the nails on um i was going to a lot of raves and i wanted to look cute and i did it and she literally put on my final paper like i got an a and she was

like i cannot believe you did this and it's so smooth and perfect and you did it with acrylic nails now it was extremely difficult and I don't know why I put myself through that much stress like just get the acrylic nails removed make your life easier but I did it and I felt accomplished and yeah love pottery glad you're doing it congrats congrats on um college that's fantastic oh my god you're gonna love it you're gonna have so much fun and you're gonna succeed and I'm so excited to see what you do congrats cutie okay someone asked how to get confident posting whatever you want on insta so for me when i was younger i just posted my ass and moved on like after you post your ass you're like that you can't do anything crazier like i had a finsta

that's what this name of this podcast also comes from is my finsta name the same thing me and ice spice have in common hey we got our names from our finsta my finsta name was smoke sash and then i just use it on every platform um and and now it is turned into this which is kind of fucking crazy thinking back that i used to use my instagram as like a private diary and now this is also my private diary and it's the same name anyways full circle um what was i saying i stopped using my finsta and then i started using my instagram as my regular instagram because i was like why am i allowing people to follow me who are gonna judge me and make me think differently about myself like this is my page if you don't like it you can get the fuck off and honestly

I do not care like I am doing this for myself there's no reason to have a close friend story because it's like everybody who's following me is my close friend I want them to know about my life I want to share openly and freely and I shouldn't have to put restrictions on what I want to post and what I want to share with the world so if you're feeling those restrictions unfollow block whatever those people you need to do but then also what I did was I immediately just posted my ass and was like yeah you can't really post anything crazier after that I'm not suggesting that but I really just had to like for me personally I'm the kind of person who goes big in order to feel comfortable and that was my going big on Instagram um so yeah and then it was like an aspect of well

like I said me and my boyfriend like to get freaky it's all consensual but there were like bite marks in my ass cheek and this girl commented and was like you didn't take the time to wipe that shit off your ass before you posted it on instagram and i'm like what i do not think i have had shit on my actual ass cheek since i was like an infant okay and i couldn't wipe myself like why would i willingly just have shit on my ass cheek have you had shit on your ass cheek girl what is going on here anyways that made me giggle but yeah that was a while ago having not posted my ass really sense but that kind of gave me the confidence to be like oh yeah this is my reality i am in charge of what i want to post i don't really give a fuck how people perceive me because i'm here for the

love only baby and if they want to hate me they can go ahead but i know that i'm doing everything that i enjoy and i love so nothing else really fucking matters and also utilize your stories more um i utilize my stories a lot i do not make a lot of like main instagram posts that's just because like i'm constantly on my stories like i'm constantly just posting fun little screenshots snapshots whatever the fuck of my daily life um and fun pictures and cute things and fun items and ebay finds you know like my mouth never shuts up so i kind of use my social media the same and i feel like people use social media and want to like use it as a way to warp their perception and make people feel differently about them but that's not how you use social media social media

is supposed to be a tool to like genuinely connect with other people and get to know each other and you know and of course we're gonna post cute photos or like ugly photos sometimes but the thing is do what you want to do do not do it for other people end of story especially when it comes to social media um because if you do it for other people you are going to develop a really negative um experience within social media and probably not enjoy it so much so why not have a blast and just not give a fuck you know go all out have fun babes hi pretty princessa um i believe it was last week you talked about um dating around and getting to know yourself and getting to know other people and if it works it works and if it doesn't it doesn't um which is awesome but for me

as a person who's like pretty sensitive and passive and empathetic how do you go about rejecting somebody like in a way that's nice do you know what I mean like how usually I'll I'll be really excited and be really hopeful and then they'll catch a vibe and it's all good but then I kind of fall off and I'm like I'm not super into this person and then when I go about rejecting them nicely they can't seem to let it go and they're just so persistent like and there are girls out here getting killed for rejecting guys so how do you do this in a way that's nice and safe I don't know let me know so I get that like ghosting is not good and I do not recommend ghosting people um like of course give them a little bit of closure whatever but I do think

distance is the best rejecter okay now this is perfect for like friendships relationships whatever it is if you're around a person and you enjoy it a little bit and then you're like kind of not enjoying it and then you know you're like eh just give yourself some distance you are absolutely allowed to do that i feel like men think this is think they're like oh rejection i just don't want to say anything I'm just gonna block them and move on and that's like fucked up because like that person gets no idea or rounded way about how you feel about them and that leaves them confused about how you how they feel about themselves and I don't think that's fair to those people but when it comes to just like allowing yourself distance from that person you can

literally just tell them hey like life has gotten really busy for me don't think I'm gonna have a lot of time to spend time with you peace and love like it's that simple be like hey my life's gotten really crazy I think I'm gonna need some space you can do that with friends with men with women with relationships with co-workers with work whatever it is that I feel like is a very genuine and understanding way for people to be like they're doing their thing maybe I don't fit into it right now and that's absolutely wonderful and okay and then after you say that if those men or people are being fucking weird and are like sending you a million text messages after that you can go ahead and block them do the hard blocking do whatever you need to you know what

i mean but you gave the response you gave the answer hey my life is just way too busy right now i got too much going on i do not think uh this relationship is gonna work out i do not think i have time to really allocate to you right now whatever it is i feel like that's a great way to kind of let someone down easy while also letting yourself off the hook now if you have balls you can just and that not saying you don't have balls but like i don't have balls i'm also very sensitive and dramatic and it's really hard for me to like be mean to people sometimes but like i have a lot of love for the mean girls who are like i don't fucking like you like that's wild but also like sometimes men are fucking weird and they need that but if you're just trying to be

gentle nice like they don't need the meanness they don't do anything it's just not meshing just be like hey my life's gotten really crazy um maybe i'll reach out to you soon but i'm gonna need a little bit of space right now someone asked um tips on having slow sex because my kitty be hurting after and it's because of friction um i don't think you have to have slow sex i think you just need some lube like i get it if you're not like super hydrated or different time of your cycle um you're gonna be there's gonna be different lubrications going on maybe you're not super horny at that time but you still want to like get into it and have some fun just buy a good bottle of lube honestly every girl needs one for real you can get flavored no

i don't think they make flavored lube i just i'm thinking about the uti i would get after flavored lube i don't know if i'm gonna recommend that never tried it i have tried flavored nipple gloss love that but yeah get lube just get get lube and then also if you use toys make sure the lube is toy safe okay make sure it's safe for toys very important but yeah there was one point in my life where i was having like sex honestly like 12 times a day and i had to sit on a ice pack throughout my entire shift literally sitting on an ice pack it was when i was a nanny so i had to like sit on ice pack and work with children it was awful and also i was like like this is really sore what's going on so i facetimed my friend and i like opened my legs my pussy was

bruised my pussy was bruised like the side of my legs had like deep purple bruising because i was just like having too much sex and our pelvic bones were slamming together so forcefully so yeah like you gotta take breaks from sex if you're hurting take time be like no distance i love you i want to fuck you so bad but like she needs a second she needs a breather we need some lube we need some ice in here okay take time let her heal let her rest but yeah if you feel like it's because of friction definitely lube all the way hey girl i'm calling from australia so sorry if the accent's a little bit of a spook um but i kind of just wanted to hear some of your opinions on weed and productivity um and whether you think it's like possible to like coexist um with weed and

like a productive schedule because like i feel like i've just you know i've just graduated high school college whatever you guys call it year 12 I'm 18 um and I feel like I really want to get my life moving and like get a job in the service industry and like really you know I don't know get going and like focus on like chasing my aspirations in music um but I feel like I've just been in such like a weed hole like if you know what I mean like just like a hermit mode you know and just like I don't know I feel like I really kind of need to you know establish a routine before i can get smoking again so i feel like i need to take a break but it's so hard so i want to know your opinions on that um i love you so much um yeah no girl like the weed hole is

a real thing it absolutely is like the beauty of weed is that it's resting it's relaxing it helps us you know forget about the pains and the suffering of the world it lets us you know step back chill escape to a different you know reality for just like a little bit you know and that that's the wonderful part of weed but you have to and as a reliable you know generous consumer i know this you have to understand that that world can only be entered at certain points of time does that make sense um so in turn productivity and weed don't go hand in hand now creativity and weed that's a different story um you said you want to get to like music production stuff like that i could see how you know you can smoke and be productive when it comes to creation in

that sort of sense but when it comes to being driven wanting to go out and do things um maybe feeling a little less anxieties from those um riding the natural high of the day being able to you know going and achieving things and setting goals and planning things and crossing things off your to-do list that is kind of hard to do if you are high straight up straight up i first year of school almost lost my scholarship because i thought i could do college and smoke a copious amount of weeds as if i was like a unemployed person at home only smoking all day like that much amount of weed and still be able to get through school i wasn't and like sure some people are high functioning some people can do it but i have to look at myself and look at my prediction

production productivity and like genuinely think about it and be like is this working for me and it wasn't like I was literally losing my scholarship so guess what I took the weed away and I take it away fully you know I saved it for the times that I did want to smoke like maybe on the weekends or you know maybe at a frat party or like maybe on the evenings after I got all my stuff done after I was productive for the day you know it was a second thought I entered a different world after exiting my production world um and guess what all a's all a's in nursing school which is like the hardest fucking things you ever do but yeah i do not think weed coincides with being productive there are goods to weed and bads to weed but if you look at the general way

that weed impacts your life and it's like okay well I use it when I want to relax and I want to chill out and you know it gets me a little loopy and a little giggly and a little haha fun you know this is a cute little thing to smoke on when I want to escape a little bit or whatever it is and escape in like a healthy way you're not like avoiding tasks it's like okay that's how you use weed well great let's save it for those times I think that is that mindset is the way you develop a healthy relationship with weed is understanding that it is for certain times it is not for all the time like even at work i thought i could be like oh i'm gonna hit my dab pen and then i'm gonna go talk to customers i was like oh my god why am i anxious all of a sudden why am i all of

a sudden forgetting shit and it's like cool i would love to be high at work but also like i can't i just simply can't like it doesn't make me a good worker now when i want to sit at home and paint something and watch sex in the city like sure i can smoke a little bit and do that but i have to understand that there are times for when it is like a necessity and there are times where i am okay without it and learning to be okay without it is very important because if you use it 24 7 constantly you can't survive without it that's substance abuse straight up and they say weed isn't addicting but i i in my opinion think every single thing can be addicting considering i have been addicted to like everything like i don't know what about me was like yeah i really

want to fuck around with the addiction genes in my family but it has been everything let me list them off let me see shrooms molly weed diet cherry coke uh sex love um uh art school grades oh my god friendship like you can find addictions anywhere shopping oh my god and it's all about how you view that relationship with that thing. If you are using it as a unhealthy coping mechanism, you are using it to replace something, to push something off, it is overwhelming your life and overcoming your life and your life is becoming that thing, that's not healthy, that's not great, that's not good, you know? But there are ways to live healthily with all of the things I just talked about if you have a healthy, balanced, healthy relationship with them. So if you need

time away from it go for it or if you just need to like really sit down and think about like hey i'm gonna save this for when it is okay to use it and i'm going to also stick with maybe coffee or some matcha when i need to go do shit plan shit get in college get my schoolwork done go to work then that's wonderful but i think we all can you know figure out how we approach things and it's all going to be very different so sit down with yourself have that conversation ask yourself is this a healthy part of my life do i need it here but like everything we can be good and bad anyways with that being said that's basically the end of our podcast happy valentine's day oh my god i love you all consider this our little galentine's hangout if you want to um i posted on my instagram

story like a rose petal blunt i rolled um if you want the tutorial it's on my patreon i rolled it with you guys it was very fun my favorite way to celebrate valentine's day um in college i literally rolled these for my friends and we smoked them and it was so cute and also they taste fantastic if you don't want to roll them i think blazy susan makes rose petal wraps like blunt wraps but you can easily diy them yourself it takes like maybe one rose and then guess what you got a whole bouquet to decorate your house with cute right but it was so fun hanging out with you i love you all so much i love love i think i love valentine's day too um i feel like it's a great reminder to you know reach outward share love with people um share love to those around you

i feel like when i was younger i was like oh this is about validation and i need to be validated i need someone on this day to make to validate me to tell me they love me but no i feel like true love and true genuine love is found by sharing it um and by sharing it to people and expressing to those people that you love them and you're thankful for them and you're thankful to have them in your life so you know i challenge you guys to just tell one person you love them today call your mom call your dad call your grandma whoever it is your boyfriend your girlfriend that friend you haven't talked to in a month tell them you know i love you happy valentine's day thank you for being in my life even if you know you aren't super close or you are close or whatever

you know there's no better way to celebrate the day than sharing a little bit of love with the world but yeah valentine's day it's actually sunday super bowl sunday so i'm gonna go get fucked up i did some lingerie shopping this morning for valentine's day and i just couldn't find any i'm hoping i find some by tuesday but yeah i'm gonna go take some shots with my mom hopefully that'll be fun maybe go out to a bar we'll see i want to go down to westport but i feel like it's gonna be fucking crazy also someone's commented and they were like um i think i want to live my bad bitch life felt i am entering my bad bitch era i have been since the new year started it's really all been about like self-love exuding love to everybody exuding you know genuine

states of being and who i am and being uninhibited through that because i feel like when i was in my bad bitch era which was honestly really like my party girl era um i did not give a fuck i didn't give a fuck which was like so freeing and so healthy for me um to like kind of let myself go and let myself experience life without judgment or care from myself like i don't give a fuck if other people judge me um because their opinion is invalid to me because i just simply do not care it is all about the relationship i have with myself um i love that my party girl era was so good and i think i'm i'm approaching it now i'm approaching it in a different way though it's because it's warming up and it's spring and everything's better when it's spring and you

just want to get outside and release yourself you know what i mean um but when i was younger my party girl era was like messy hectic rave molly sex fun you know like going crazy toxic relationship like crying running away going to another rave like it was wild wild like insanity on a tour bus you know hooking up with this guy and then hooking up with this girl and then more molly and some shrooms here and then all of a sudden i'm doing shrooms all the time and then you know i bought five baby pools and i had a pool party in my backyard and then and it's like i would think about all these times and during the time like i would wake up and i would be like oh my god i'm so embarrassed or whatever or like i would have these thoughts probably like hangover

thoughts um and the older i've gotten the real i've realized like those experiences are some of the experience that i genuinely like i'm so happy and grateful to have had them and to have experienced them and this whole year has been kind of like the past year like my 23rd year has very much so been about like introspection closing myself off a little bit like getting to know myself better as an adult asking myself what i liked what i don't like and now i feel like it's all about taking what i have been asking and conversating with myself and just like using it real life using it so i feel like i'm entering another party girl era maybe less toxic crazy insane because like holy shit was it fucking insane and i put up with a lot of shit that i

probably didn't need to but going through those things i learned i grew up i also you know made it through some drug addiction so gonna hopefully have a healthy you know relationship with that going forward don't over indulge is all i would like to tell you guys um your brain needs to stay hydrated and also needs to be off drugs a little bit in a literally like my brain doesn't function like if you want your brain to function don't do crazy shit um but yeah i just booked tickets to mexico i just booked a trip to mexico for my birthday i'm going to cali uchis to celebrate the beginning of the month not this month in may oh my god i can't fucking wait i'm just saying yes to everything because when i was in that party girl era i was just like yes

yes yes i'll do it let's go let's have fun let's just party and just like really live life and honestly that Hannah had the right fucking idea because I spent the last year inside kind of just doing nothing you know thinking contemplating talking to myself which has been good but life is meant to be lived life is meant to be enjoyed and to be celebrated and sometimes you got to do some crazy shit and just have a blast along the way you know take an opportunity to say yes and enjoy it even if it's something that you maybe thought you wouldn't enjoy i feel like you would be shocked to to you know experience it and then actually enjoy it and that's the best feeling ever so i love you all i hope you guys are entering your bad bitch era your party girl era i'm excited

to enter mine um i feel like i'm just gonna be going out releasing myself a little bit having more fun wearing some more fun outfits playing dress up a little bit trusting in myself trusting in who i am listening to that intuition um and saying yes to more opportunities being open to more opportunities it feels good you know take advantage of life you only got one life to live so make it as fun and as insane and as funky and fresh as you possibly can girls okay that's the one piece of advice i have to give you from your big sister to you on this wonderful valentine's day oh my god i love you guys thank you for joining me on this little journey and if no one tells you they love you today i do i tell you i love you and i'm so honored and pleasure to

get to experience this life alongside you so that being said i gotta go i'm on a flight no i'm not well i am right now but not right now i'm about to go drink i gotta go to the liquor store so i gotta let you guys go i love you so so much and i will see you all very soon oh uh i forgot to say so i am traveling on tuesday to tuesday so i'm uploading this on our usual tuesday but next tuesday there will be no episode and instead it will be on thursday i know a few days late i'm so sorry but i will be very excited to sit down and chat with you then um with that being said check my instagram submit all questions there at hannah marlene my link is in my bio for my patreon if you want to see any extras you want extra tips tricks talk to me i do a lot of videos on there

i did like a grammys red carpet review video on there which was fun if you want to judge some outfits together it was a blast um if you want to see some behind the scenes of my vacation it'll also probably be on there and also more video podcasts will be up on spotify soon um i'm going to do like a regular just video episode at the end of the month um i have just been playing around with the idea of spotify versus youtube and youtube just has so many restrictions and like i said i'm not the kind of girl who likes to be restricted so i'm gonna go with spotify they really offer a lot of things for their creators um a lot of opportunities for their creators and also it is a video hosting platform so i can post me smoking a joint and you can smoke with me and

that is amazing and wonderful and i want nothing more than that and if i post it on youtube it will get taken down so i love you all with that being said stay tuned for so much more fun and exciting content and i will see you all next week love you