Smoke Sesh - sick and tired, overconsumption & getting wet

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

hello everyone and happy Tuesday! so happy to be back with you all as we have a LOT to catch up on... so sorry but I caught covid so this episode is definitely a sick one. we chat what my thanksgiving looked like, getting hurt and getting covid, how to heal when you're sick, and how to handle the current retrograde in Sagittarius. new merch is also out! more is coming but if you want to support check the link below, its also finals season! how to handle the burn out and persevere through hard times when you don't want to, good things never come easy, reaching new levels and how hard they can be, getting wet and how to get that ushy gushy, Black Friday, overconsumption, and being smart with your money, my end of year goals, rough patches in relationships and when to break up, am I embarrassed to be on the internet? and how others view me, plus my internet story and how I got into social media, how smoke sesh came to become what it is and much much more! sorry for the sick episode but I really look forward to hanging out with you guys every Tuesday and I hope you do as well! can't wait to chat next week when I have a little more energy! love you! MUAH! smokeseshshawty.com

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all oh my goodness hotties of the world welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh my name is hannah your host and i am going through it i'm going through it you guys i have covid right now if you thought i don't work hard for you guys bitch i have like 103 degree fever i'm going on day five of covid if that's why i sound stuffed up obviously that's why i really apologize um

i'm suffering quite a bit but you know what i couldn't let my girls get up on here and miss out on an episode of smoke sesh i know i know this is what you guys need to make it through this season so best believe i was gonna show up so sorry to my patreon girlies for not uploading a patreon episode i did take time to individually respond to each person's question in text format in the questionnaire section you guys know where to find that so i did still respond if you're looking to see what i had to say go check out that text thread i promise it's there thank you for being patient kind and understanding with me but yes i had to get on here for our usual Tuesday episode. I have to keep it going. I really only take off if I am quite honestly

truly suffering or like out of my house. I think the last time I took off was for my girls trip where I was just gone on vacation. So I really apologize if maybe this episode is a little bit more um silly or chaotic or calmer than usual i unfortunately will not be smoking this episode because my throat feels like a sahara desert um while also simultaneously feeling like there's cobwebs in it for some reason i don't know covid is crazy really was not expecting to get this um i woke up on last wednesday and i had a little tickle in the back of my throat but it was finally getting cold here you know it dropped down to 30 degrees it's finally chilling out it's like you know maybe it's just because the air is a little bit drier and tis the season you

know what i mean thursday thanksgiving i wake up i have a little bit more of a tickle in my throat but once again you know seasonal things maybe it's just a little cold my mom said she was feeling the same exact way so i figured no biggie all my nieces and my nephews were coughing and sneezing and you know kids carry so many diseases with them it's crazy so I figured maybe I picked up on something that they had I spent Thanksgiving with my family which was really good as good as it possibly could have been at least with my immediate family I had a great time extended family is always interesting when they're talking about their Catholic habits and I am holding back my tongue from saying crazy shit back to them um me and my boyfriend really have a very chill

relaxed relationship i feel like the relationships in my family they're very high stress relationships at least from what i've seen and over the holidays where it's like okay we only get two hours at this family's house and then we have to leave and then we have to go to this family's house it's been two hours that we had to split time and oh my god that shit is so stressful if you're in a relationship and you have a stressful holidays the best thing i can really tell you to do is just focus on yourself and your family like me and my boyfriend's holiday celebrations were going on in the same exact time but i was like you know what you go with your family do your thing have a good time i'll go with my family enjoy time with them separately and then we'll just get together at

the end of the night you know like literally no pressure um and i told that to my sister-in-law and she was like her eyes like widened she's like you guys are so smart because i know she feels so much stress over like you know especially with kids and okay well we have the kids so we got to celebrate holidays here one time and then oh at this place oh my god i can't even imagine the stress that she goes through props to her but yeah we're a very low stress relationship so we celebrated separately i'm sure my very traditional grandmother was a little concerned about that yes grandma we're together okay he just has a family outside of you okay anyways i drank quite a lot wednesday night because it was just me and my immediate family but i knew something was up

on thanksgiving where i didn't drink at all thanksgiving is like white person's drinking holiday all right everybody's getting drunk as fuck you know make the holidays a little bit merrier if one would say that um and i had like one cocktail or like one glass of wine and nothing else and by 9 p.m i was about to like pass out on my mom's couch so i knew something was up i knew something was wrong um came home immediately passed out went to bed didn't even eat any thanksgiving leftovers i did upload that thanksgiving leftover sandwich video that slapped i made that before though out of extra stuff i had around the house that i was prepping oh my god that was so so good whoever thought to put like mashed potatoes and stuffing and gravy

on a sandwich yeah game changer probably the craziest thing i've ever made but honestly so fantastic i woke up friday morning after thanksgiving to my phone like blowing up from text messages and it was my mom who was sending me her positive covid results yeah so as soon as i received that i was like fuck i know that is exactly what's going what's going on in my life i know that's exactly what i have so immediately i'm like please boyfriend get me a covid test he brings it to me i immediately take it yup hard ass double red lines i was like you know what i i should have seen this coming so i had to call in from work on friday and i thought by now i'd be better i thought you know so i started feeling bad wednesday thursday friday i tested positive

saturday sunday monday tuesday i should be feeling better no no luckily well maybe not luckily i guess luckily in my case because i've had covid before and it was like my joints hurt like i was seething and rolling around in pain in bed 150 fucking degree fever my the worst part was like my joints hurt like it hurt to move I couldn't get water down I had a cough luckily this time I only have a little bit of drainage and a little bit of like a fever it's still a high fever but nothing I can't manage as well as just my body being tired from fighting off this infection so that's what I'm dealing with and I'm still having symptoms so I'm sure I'm gonna miss a bit of work this week but I would like to say I'm feeling a little bit better the first couple

days I slept for 24 hours straight honestly when you're sick that really is the best thing you can do is just like knock yourself out if possible also I promise I'm wearing pants it definitely doesn't look like it but they're boy shorts I know I'm really feeling bad when I can't even get coffee down in my system because like honestly that's all I function off of so Friday morning I woke up I attempted to have some coffee that wasn't working I also know I'm really down bad when I can actually take a nap because with my ADHD brain it takes like effort for me to attempt to even fall asleep in the middle of the day honestly it takes effort for me to even attempt to fall asleep at night so when I can take like a long nap in the middle of the day I know I'm

fucked up like majorly fucked up friday i woke up i immediately took a another four hour nap from like 11 to whatever the math is i woke up in the afternoon i was awake until my boyfriend came home and then that night i fell asleep at like 8 30 after eating dinner slept until 11 the next day woke up for an hour went back to bed for five hours and then was up for the evening went to bed at a decent time that evening but I slept so so so much honestly I was up for maybe five hours during the day and that really is the best thing you can do for yourself if you're having just a hard time your body is putting so much work and effort into fighting the infection that if you can just like take time to let it do its thing especially while you're asleep so you're not

preconceived with other things it really helps you fight the illness so much faster hot tea is also my best friend if it was up to the russian side of my family they would be like you need to eat eat a whole clove of garlic and then you eat like half a lemon and then you rub vodka on your chest and the bottom of your feet well i didn't have any of that so unfortunately i was out of luck but i did have some hot tea and honey that's the best kind of concoction you can have as well as if i was feeling it and i had the money i would have ordered pho directly to my house because it is genuinely so healing but i had leftover ingredients from my red curry wonton soup recipe if you want that it's on instagram um so i made that as well as just packet ramen and that's

basically all i lived off of and just the the high density of the salt and the hot liquids and a little bit of carbs as well it is so good for your body as well as your throat especially if you have a sore throat they tell you gargle salt water fuck that shit i'm gonna vomit everywhere i might as well just eat a pack of high sodium ramen as well as just chugging water staying hydrated that's really all you can do take time to rest and enjoy hi danger do you have something to say for my visual listeners this is my cat danger he is a old man tuxedo cat he's 13 but he's kept me company this entire time so shout out to him honestly um this is his like play time right now so he's like girl what the fuck is going on i haven't had a lot of time to play with him

so he's a little crazy crazy we'll get into that in a second um but he's been so sweet just cuddling with me and helping me feel better as well so yeah my week started with a crazy canker sore moved into covid and then two days ago i was playing with my cat and he like ran around a corner like wanting me to chase him and i like reached out to go grab him and I heard this like pop this like high-pitched pop noise and this extreme pain in my finger and I have acrylics as you guys know well not acrylics gel x it's the better version shout out to miss meg nails by meg so on instagram listen occasionally you're gonna knock a nail off you're gonna peel it back it is some of the most pain I've ever felt in my entire life it's the

same as if you like stub a toe it just it sucks the girlies who have acrylics they get it well I look back and it's completely peeled back and I'm like oh well I'll just rip it off the rest of the way no my entire nail bed had popped off not the acrylic the acrylic was still attached to the nail bed I don't know she was using super glue on my nails or something my entire nail bed popped off it was still attached to the bottom so i then had to attempt to remove the acrylic from my nail in extreme pain and then i just kind of laid the nail bed back down um my finger looks rotted we had a nail appointment on thursday and i was like girl i think it's just generally a hazard for me to come in at this point like a health hazard so let's

cancel and I'll come to my next one I'll give my nails just like a month to breathe but I'm hoping I'm really hoping it just decides to surgically attach back to itself I don't really know if that's how nail beds work I'm kind of just hoping for the best here hoping and praying but yeah it's like oozing sorry TMI it's disgusting I couldn't sleep that night because it was just like throbbing I'm surprised it didn't hurt that much at first it just felt like a normal nail popping off but oh my god afterwards it is just like the most pain ever ever ever like I can barely bend it it's swollen to the size of like my thumb it's crazy I didn't realize I could get hurt like this I mean I did but I I don't know maybe I thought I was an exception to the rules or something

so yeah I have just been I'm sick I'm tired I'm going through it I'm going through it and from what I've seen from the Patreon girlies online it sounds like a lot of you guys are going through it that's probably because we're in a mercury retrograde right now yeah I know another one i'm so sorry you guys are probably like bitch i know like what the fuck do you mean another mercury retrograde we usually have two or three a year so it is a chaotic astrological energy that we are used to i don't think it's something you need to necessarily be afraid of or worried about because it is something that we experience quite often and we know how to handle naturally Mercury is the sign of communication, transportation, intellect, things like that.

So you can experience disruptions in getting to work, any sort of transportation, technology, interpersonal communications with yourself, with other people, just feeling like your mind is a little bit clouded and misjudged right now because also it's going through the sign of Sagittarius. Sagittarius is very open-minded, big picture focused, and Mercury is very detailed, organized, so they don't really feel great together, okay? They're kind of in detriment together. So due to this, you might experience lapse of judgment, forgetting important details, and overall disorient clarity is definitely going out the windows so just hold on tight and do your best if you want to know specifically where it's going to affect you look at where Sagittarius is

in your chart specifically if you have a Sagittarius rising or moon you're going to be most affected as well as Virgo and Gemini placements because they are ruled by Mercury oh i love being a gemini so yeah best believe i'm feeling the disorient i'm feeling the confusion i am not feeling clarity right now i am feeling i don't even know what i'm feeling and that says a lot in itself because best believe i usually have a lot to fucking say so yeah during this time all you can do is your best that's what i've been telling myself especially being post holidays and wanting to get back into routine wanting to get to work and actually make money so i can celebrate the holidays wanting to actually get up and do my fucking dishes and do my laundry sometimes

we gotta roll with the fucking punches and do the best that we can life's not always gonna work out exactly how we fucking want it it's not always going to be perfect cookie cutter oh my god everything's aligning for me i mean shit if it is you must be the chosen bitch and i'm very jealous i will say but for the rest of us normal girlies it's not always going to be perfect amazing wonderful all the time that is just how life is and if we assume it's going to be we're gonna have a really hard time when we're down bad the reason that i'm doing so okay with my canker sore with my missing nail bed with my covid it's because i kind of just allow myself to feel what i'm feeling in this moment to say you know what this sucks right now i'm having a

hard ass time but that's not how it's gonna be forever it is a series of ups and downs life is such a roller coaster ride and sometimes when you're going down you just gotta secure your seat belt as tight as you can throw your hands up in the air and just ride the wave so that's what i'm doing at this point now i did say last episode um i was gonna be dropping merch this week and i amsting true to that i'm actually wearing one of the pieces it is a rhinestone diva baby tee if you're curious i'm wearing a small i used to order always a size down in baby tees but i feel like these baby tees specifically they run a little small so i would order your usual size or if you don't want it to be super tight maybe order a size up these will be available in size

extra small to 2XL. They do have stretch to them. They are a mix of like 52% cotton and 48% polyester. I wish I could find 100% cotton t-shirts in this cut, but unfortunately I couldn't. This was the best mixture that I could possibly find. I also think like with a little bit of polyester, it does allow for more stretch and it won't shrink to a tiny little sized item in the washer when you do wash and dry it normally i love rhinestones i love bling so yes we have our little diva baby teas for all my divas out there i also will be restocking a limited quality quantity of the got weed rhinestone baby teas so if you missed out on that drop previously they will be available and this is the first time i've ever done this but i also have mugs during the season i drink a lot

of hot tea i drink a lot of hot coffee i always have a mug in my hand so i wanted to make something that not only i could use but you guys could use as well it says it's a tough job being a sexy bitch but somebody has to do it with little pink fairies all over it and if you're an audio listener curious and what these look like i did post a little you know inspo post on instagram i'm just showcasing these items i have more things i'm planning and more things that will drop so if you're not interested to each their own i don't pressure you guys into doing anything i'm not like you need these things right now but if you do want to support and you do want some merch come shop smokes at shoddy.com i actually collect mugs i collect fun silly mugs so i had i felt like i

just had to make one you know what i mean oh i must a pretty girl like me suffer my god anyways that's all i really have to catch up with you guys i hope you survive the holidays i hope you're doing well if you're sick make sure you get lots of rest hydration get some ramen in your system maybe some pho and just take your time okay it really does take time to get back to normal so don't rush it how do I tackle burnout when I have no opportunity for a break finals right now I love you I love you oof it is final season oh my god I didn't even think about that wow I've been out of college for such a long time that listen eventually you will get to the point that you will never have to think about finals again so keep that in mind as you're persevering but

yeah finals is rough I don't know why professors are like let's just make everybody suffer right now happy holidays let's just make everybody suffer right now but i do kind of miss the grind of it all i know you are like bitch that's fucking crazy because i'm crying every night i was in your position too but once you get out of it you realize just how like powerful it does make you feel because you can do anything if you can get through final season just simply getting through it and doing your best you can do anything you can achieve any of those hard goals you put out there you can achieve any of those hard projects that people might give to you in the job field eventually if you can do final season you can do anything and it's meant to be hard

it's not meant to be easy you're meant to struggle you're meant to fail a little bit you're meant to be up for eight hours studying unfortunately that is just what it is and i feel like the sooner you accept that the easier of a time you'll have the friends who are out there partying and doing whatever and not giving a fuck about finals they're not gonna succeed they're not gonna pass their classes they're not gonna do whatever i was in the position i was in a couple different positions where it was like okay i need to get a certain percentage on this exam or else i'm just simply not gonna pass the class i've also been in the position where it's like i could fail and i would still pass the class who cares it doesn't matter where you are i think you should

always opt for just doing the best you can and trying to achieve as high as you possibly can finals is rough it's not meant to be easy it's gonna suck for a second but then you get winter break you come out of it you feel more renewed in yourself you feel stronger for standing beside yourself and putting hard work into yourself and putting hard work into the dedication of what you desire you will ultimately come out on top a changed individual whether your grades are good or not whether you do pass that test or not you will have a renewed sense of self and a renewed sense of like trust in yourself by simply persevering through the hard times finals is not the season to be like well i could technically fail and i would still pass or well i'm failing

so I'm just not gonna try bitch get the fuck up put the hard work in study your little ass off get in there try the best you can so then you have no regrets in the future so when you do pass that thing you do feel more renewed in yourself or if you do fail at least you can be like well fuck it I tried but if you lay down and you don't do anything you're going to feel so much worse about yourself and you're gonna feel like damn why didn't I try harder for myself why did I believe that I was not deserving of doing more of trying harder so yeah I do believe finals is a little bit more about perseverance than it is about actual grades unfortunately you're gonna be in that library until 8 a.m unfortunately you're going to be waking up super early to go study and missing

out on maybe social aspects of your life to go study to go focus on these things you're gonna feel like yes you are dedicating all of your time to school but you're not alone that is just a part of the process and it is a part of what finals require from you now I don't think you should stress yourself out too much once again you can only do what you simply can do there's only so many hours in the day there's only so many times you can go through that quizlet there's only so many flashcards you can make so of course do the best that you can so you have no regrets in the future you can at least sit there and say damn i put some fucking work into it at least you know and i do think professors can see that and they will notice that especially in the times where i

was failing once i started actually pausing and taking time to put work in to try harder to achieve more they noticed that and they did swing things in my favor they did then want to help me out they just want to see you try so do the best that you can make sure you're eating food you need food to remember things to have your brain function normally to have your body function normally you need sleep okay I didn't realize how good sleep actually treated your brain until I wasn't sleeping and then I wasn't remembering things I was putting 12 hours of work into remembering things during the day and then I wasn't sleeping and the next day I was like well why the fuck don't I remember anything it's because when you sleep your body takes work to retain your thoughts

it takes time to really retain that information that you've learned and if you don't give your body that rest period to really retain and understand then you will not get anywhere so please make sure you're eating please make sure you're sleeping you're probably going to miss out on all the other routine things maybe the last one could be just make sure you're taking care of yourself in like a bodily autonomy way just shower at the very least you don't have to put that makeup on you don't have to put that cute outfit on just make sure you're doing the bare basics of staying sane and healthy and that will help the most in retaining information and having power and drive and motivation to keep going out there and keep studying and keep practicing

you'll get through it though it really does suck right now but if you put in the time and effort and work in the future you will feel so proud of yourself you will feel like damn bitch you really did that i remember those 12 hour days 15 hour days of me in the library flashcard after flashcard i mean my flashcard piles for nursing school bitch they're like memorize every single part of the human body it's gonna be on your test and you're like what the fuck dude like it's physically impossible guess what my ass was in there 150 flashcards going over every single one constantly during that time did I want to yes obviously but coming out of it and being what four or five years out of that and looking back and seeing how much I really pushed myself and how much I tried and

just not giving up on myself I know that if I can do that I can really do anything I put my mind to honestly so don't give up on yourself never give up on yourself when the going gets tough it doesn't mean give up it just means try harder find a different path find a different avenue but keep holding your hand along the way you got this I promise and first of all I just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I've been listening to your pod since you first started so it's been a long time and my question is like I'm on my second year of university and I've been really struggling because I feel like everything changed my group of friends the subjects are harder and I have so many tests and things to do and I feel like I don't have any motivation even to get

up and go there because nothing is the same i lost friendships and i wanted your advice on what i could do to make me more motivated with all these changes thank you love you so much i love you what i'm gonna say sounds a little shocking but from what i'm seeing in your life is it just sounds like you've leveled up and leveling up can be so isolating and lonely sometimes because it does force you to leave what you knew in the past like you said you have new classes and they're harder you've lost friendships and you feel isolated you just feel like you're in this new phase in life and you don't know what to do because it's a little bit overwhelming and unfortunately that is what kind of comes with leveling up sure sometimes with leveling up the

universe can make it easy for you and make the process smooth i feel like that is way rarer though in normal people's situations i feel like usually leveling up can feel very difficult and trying and isolating because it's nothing like you've ever experienced before but i don't want you to block your blessings i don't want you to stand in the way of what is good for you sure you might have lost friends but the universe removed those people from your life because they knew they weren't good for you they knew that it wasn't going to be a good situation for you that they were going to hold you back it's put you in harder classes because it knows that you can handle it it knows that you can do the hard things that you can achieve those things you have to stand by

yourself and believe in yourself you have to overcome these obstacles unfortunately and it's not gonna be easy nothing good ever comes easy especially during final season i'm sure you're going through that right now and it feels like you can't catch a break it feels like nothing is acting in your favor i promise you it is i promise you you've leveled up i promise you you are in a new phase in life and good things are happening they are coming for you you just have to keep that openness and that awareness for yourself as well life is a roller coaster all right and it can be a little scary you never know which way it's going to turn or twist or flip or whatever sometimes you just got to lock that seat belt in and really throw your hands up and trust stand by

yourself understand that you do deserve better but yes i don't think you are falling behind it in my opinion the situation that you're telling me about it doesn't sound like things aren't going good for you it sounds like you've leveled up into a new area in your life and it is up to you whether you sink or swim but remember when you enter a new level in your life when you enter a new season in your life whatever it may be it's going to feel new and naturally your brain is going to feel a little bit of anxiety around that it doesn't mean that things are going wrong it doesn't mean you should actually be scared it is a natural reflex of our minds so remove that fear open your eyes look around you ask yourself what blessings has the universe given me you know what

new opportunities has it provided me that maybe i've overlooked try and find some positivity in your life and redirect that thought process a little bit i promise you'll be able to find something make a gratitude list three to five things of what you're appreciative of right now what is inspiring you right now, three to five things that you're proud about, that you are thankful about, about yourself, you know, whether it's perseverance, trust in yourself, whatever it may be, focus on those things, especially during this time, but I promise you, you've leveled up like no other and things are going to go so good for you, I promise. Sometimes it means leaving past habits in the past friendships in the past ideas thoughts feelings in the past but that

doesn't mean that you won't create new ones in the future low-key really awkward but is there a way i can naturally get more wet down there um not awkward at all um a make sure you're hydrated i know that seems stupid and silly but like if you are not hydrated if you're dehydrated your body is not going to be able to divert extra liquids extra water to other places like if you have dry eyes even i'm like just chug more water and you need more water than you really think you need i have like the what 24 ounce owala and i drink i try to drink at least eight of those i probably should be drinking more but you need so much water and you in your life way more than you could ever imagine i feel like when i wasn't getting you know as ushy gushy down there i was

definitely dehydrated i mean other factors that we'll go over but dehydration does play a big factor number two are you mentally there are you mentally there are there foreplay are they really wooing you and attempting to get you wet down there both mentally and physically i feel with women it is a big mental game you know like sure you can touch up on me and i like after a while of course i'm gonna get wet but a lot of it what gets me the wettest is just the mental game the build up the foreplay making out for like 30 fucking minutes before you're even allowed to touch me like i sometimes women are convinced that there's a problem with them if they're dry but it's like if you go from one kiss to then them shoving their fingers inside of you in the

span of 30 seconds of course you're going to be dry that's not your fucking fault that's their fault for not taking time to actually work you up it's the same way like with men you know i mean women take time to make sure men are rock hard before we try to shove it inside us i'm not gonna shove like a gushy gummy worm inside me like of course i'm gonna take time to get them hard enough why don't men take time to get us wet enough hmm something to think about so i don't necessarily think it's your fault um ask yourself like in these situations are they really working you up are they taking time to foreplay do you feel comfortable enough with them where then your body feels comfortable enough with them simple things that you can do on your own drinking enough

water make sure you're vetting the person that you're actually attracted to them that you actually want to do these things with them also with with some birth controls it does affect you hormonally as well as i've noticed with um antidepressants i really could not get horny or wet on antidepressants i mean lexapro really puts you at a neutral state like a very solid neutral state so feeling anything outside of that neutral state was really really hard for me um so do you understand that it's sometimes it's not your fault that there are other factors involved whether it's medication hormone imbalances um sometimes it really is outside of your control and i'm not saying get off your mental health medication to make your pussy wetter like that's fucked up please do not

do that but also maybe buy some lube maybe buy a little lube and have a good time that way my personal favorites which listen i'm not a doctor so don't come for me i'm pretty sure also it deteriorates condoms so don't use this with a condom um is coconut oil i know like girl what yes coconut oil is a great lubricant um also it tastes good i know so also it's a great massage oil so sometimes you can just take coconut oil start as like a massage like okay you massage my back i massage your back and then you can just like be completely coconut oiled up and then all of a sudden everything is wet and slippery but yeah invest in some lube especially if there's other factors at play where it's like you just simply can't help it i don't think there's anything

wrong with you i don't want women to ever believe that there's anything wrong with them inherently there's nothing really wrong with you because you're perfect and i love you but there are things that you can work around absolutely also please for the love of god do not have dry sex like i don't need you being in pain you might as well just buy some lube and have a good time that way and if a man tries to have sex with you while you're not wet enough tell him be like no no i need you to get down there and eat it i need i need some time before you shove it inside of me because i don't need you having a rug burn all right you deserve better trying not to buy too many things but it's hard real especially during the holiday season in the post black friday cyber

monday 40 off buy one get 50 whatever the fuck oh my god it's so hard to not give into the consumerism one big thing that i realized this year is that there were no good deals you remember when you could get like a tv for 20 on black friday that was usually 400 that's why people were lined up outside of a target for 24 hours beforehand missing thanksgiving meals with their family so they could stand outside of a target you don't see people doing that anymore because i think companies have learned that people are gonna buy it anyway people are gonna buy it anyway they don't give a fuck companies don't care about you they say they care about you oh for the holiday season we're giving you a certain percent off they don't care about you you don't owe them

anything I don't care if you're like a cult follower of a brand they don't know you they don't care about you they just want your money and that's a big like capitalistic thing that I've been realizing recently I mean I've known it of course but one big thing that I've been realizing especially with my frontal lobe developing and having adult money is just like i don't really want to spend it anymore when i was younger sure the impulse buy the random things it felt good the 150 thrift shop holes where i was leaving with trash bags full of things it felt good but the older i get and the more responsible i become with my money and the more i realize how much value your money has especially to your future i am like shit i don't want to spend money

on anything i don't want to spend money on anything and my parents have always been very frugal i mean they're very well off now but they were two teachers making not a lot of money so they had to really learn the power of a dollar learn the power that money has and one of their big goals especially with me was just trying to get me to understand and unfortunately I didn't really learn that until this year when I did have to start thinking about okay affording insurance every month health insurance dental vision car insurance affording a phone plan gas bill electricity bill rent putting money into my 401k investing into stocks putting money into my Roth IRA my money is held up elsewhere so really buying an $80 $90 $100 shirt takes a lot out of me which

is why I really try to and price like my merchant stuff at a really good price where it is affordable to everybody I'm not out here selling $80 fucking 100% polyester hoodies because in my brain that's fucking crazy if I wouldn't spend my money on it then I'm not going to try and convince you to do that either that's why I don't do a lot of brand deals on here or honestly any ads at all because I see value in you and I see value in your money and I think you should see that as well especially now where things are getting so expensive and these companies feel like they can take advantage of you and your situation and that they almost have like a right to your money i hate that shit i hate that shit emma chamberlain just came out with a new video where she was just purging her

closet of all the different things that she didn't wear on a daily basis and she was left with like 10 items and I think that is so eye-opening to the whole clothing trends and oh but I need this new brand new thing I need this you really don't if you're not going to use it at least like once a month or you're not going to use it maybe weekly in your clothing rotation then is it really worth it and I think the older you get the more important it is to ask yourself these things invest in things that are going to last you like a year or a couple years invest in that high quality clothing that's going to then be passed down to your grandchildren invest in things that are genuinely going to bring you joy in your daily life not in the hottest or latest items

but in things that genuinely spark joy on a daily weekly basis not things that you're going to look at one time and be like oh that's cool and then move on from genuinely ask yourself how often am i going to use this how often am i going to include this in my life let me tell you what i bought my boyfriend for christmas um because i think the things that i'm buying this year are very different than the things that i'm buying last year so i was really focused on what are things that he can use continuously like throughout the year or even years to come because he's the kind of person who's like very basic not really asking for the latest hottest things i'm more so buying those things for him but like what are things that he can genuinely use if you're listening to this

click out but what i've bought him so far is um first i bought him a brand new perfume or cologne whatever because his other one's running out he does use it on a daily basis it does bring him joy he smells delicious i love a cologne sure it's a little bit pricier but i mean he had his last cologne since he was like 16 are you kidding me i love a good perfume i love a good signature scent it's something that i wear on a daily basis i think a good solid scent is a fantastic gift to buy somebody every time they use it they're gonna think about you so i did buy him a brand new cologne i bought him underwear like basic things socks underwear they're things he used on a daily basis i also use his underwear sometimes listen it's comfy he needs new ones it's something basic that

maybe he's been thinking about he just won't buy himself and also sure you're like underwear that's not a good gift but it's something genuine that that person needs in their life also like pajama pants he doesn't have any pajama pants that he wears at night he usually just wears joggers so i wanted to get him a good pair of like polo pajama pants that he can throw on every night that will keep him warm and also he's a polo fiend like he'll love it me personally for christmas i asked for a new pair of slippers i run through my slippers like nobody's business i always have slippers on especially in the winter my toes get so freaking cold and i hate a sock okay i have a little bit of like a texture issue the seams and socks mean socks we just don't get along i don't

know my brain doesn't work that way so i wanted a new good pair of warm slippers or like birkenstock bostons that i can constantly wear constantly use those are a pair of shoes that i can use 10 15 years from now my other birkenstocks are literally from sixth grade and i've been using them until now finally like the cork is like ripping up because i'm stupid and i was wearing it like in the river hello girl be smarter but i wanted a good new pair of slippers that i can wear 5 10 15 years from now i also asked for a dutch oven like a big 15 20 gallon good dutch oven pot um that i can cook with 10 15 20 years from now because honestly they're a great style of cooking utensil um i did ask for a like cast iron and the cast iron pan that i was given that i used

for all of my cooking videos is literally from the 1900s my parents thrifted it for like 15 dollars okay this has lasted from the 1900s until now my 25 year old ass is cooking with a 1900s cookware that's how long it lasts this is going to be something that i'm giving to my children years from now i also love a good mug i will say i did ask for like there's like this one on ebay that i've been eyeing it's like a vintage cat mug it's so cute i love anything with cats on it as you can tell um so yeah i love a good mug something that i'm going to use every single morning to put my coffee in that will bring me joy that ultimately will last until i fingers crossed hope i don't break it but will eventually break it things like that that is worth your money those are things

that you should be investing in things that bring you daily joy that you can use years and years and years and years from now not the seven dollar shein shirt that's a hundred percent polyester that will probably cause you cancer in the long run that you have to buy brand new every single month because it's going to break down in the washer because it's literally made out of plastic you don't need those things and yes they seem more affordable but in the long run especially have having gone through that where it's like we'll all just buy the cheaper things because it's more available to me it's easier for me to get obviously I don't have the money to buy the $700 thing oh my god don't buy the $700 thing even like the $70 thing but I do have the money to buy

the $7 thing in the long run I was spending more money over time buying the quote-unquote Shein quality thing the trendy thing instead of just buying quality over quantity your money has value where you're put where you put your money has value and I want you to see that and I want you to realize that it is the best financial decision that you can make for yourself understanding that where you spend money does have power it does have influence and it does matter don't ever think I'm taking advantage of you okay I always put you guys first I always want to make sure that you were making the smartest choices possible I only rep things that I truly truly love and enjoy and wear and use constantly which isn't a lot as you can tell so with the holidays coming keep that in

mind ask for things that are going to last you a lifetime gift things that people are going to use years and years and years from now that they will think about you then as well sentimental gifts experiences like a cooking class or um a little date night i love that a little coupon book you of those coupon books you'd make your mom in elementary school where it's like use this coupon and i'll wash the dishes use this coupon and i'll go mow the lawn making one of those for your significant other or your friend that costs zero dollars but in the long run in the sentimental value it's priceless so think about things like that your money has a value your time has value utilize that to your advantage hi queen what are you hoping to accomplish before the end of 2024

2024 ooh a I would like to get my tattoo portfolio done and created oh my god I have a month left end of 2024 oh my god you guys we only have a month left to 2024 are you kidding this year has flown by wow it's been a it's been a good year for me personally it's been a really good learning year I've accomplished a lot and I'm very proud of myself we'll get into that the end of the year episode but by the end of the year i want to finish my tattoo portfolio i want to get a new youtube video out for you guys i believe it'll be just like a high and cleaning video so if that's your jam it should be out by the end of the year fingers crossed and honestly i think that's it i've achieved a lot so i don't have a lot of like residual goals that i still need to

accomplish just little things such as like things that I more so want to do for you guys and then make a personal thing that I want to do career-wise for myself which is finish my tattoo portfolio I've been working on it I'm just such a picky artist and I really put my all into it I don't ever want to put like a bullshit thing into my portfolio I understand how um intense portfolios kind of are and can be and I want to live up to it you know I want to put my best foot forward and also yes i miss making youtube videos and i miss connecting that way with you guys so i should have a new youtube video coming out by the end of the month not a question but i'm a french teacher and your pod gives me life many bowls to the face this year stay strong queen oh

my gosh teachers deserve the world and i'm glad i can keep you sane throughout it because i know those kids are not easy to deal with how do you know if you actually need to break up with your boyfriend versus just being in a rough patch oh this is hard especially during mercury retrograde where you know the clarity is not there but i'm sure you're feeling one way or the other uh me and my boyfriend have been through rough patches now it's not like rough where we're at the brink where we're talking about breaking up nothing like that has ever happened but we've definitely hit patches where it's like we can both feel like we're off or maybe we're a little too preconceived with ourselves at the moment and i think that's normal in any relationship every

single every single relationship will have that point and i think how you deal with it really says more about if you should break or break up than not so when you hit a rough patch i feel like either you two see each other and that rough patch and you both are like okay we gotta get our shit together i want to do better for this person i want to show up for this person i want to be there for this person so let me be on my best behavior let me try and bring that spark back let me you know try and make this situation better without placing blame or pointing fingers like let me just do better but it takes two people to do that so I feel like when you hit a rough patch and you both are like okay let's get this shit together I think that means that you're in a normal healthy

relationship and it's probably gonna succeed because you both want it to succeed now when I think you hit a rough patch and you both are like throwing your hands in the air giving up imploding the relationship it's just getting worse and worse and worse then yeah it's probably time to break up there's only so much you can do as well i know like maybe you might really want the relationship to last like you're putting an effort but like if your partner's not putting an effort and they don't give a fuck and they see the rough patch they're like well you need to fix it i also think that's maybe a sign to break up it takes two people it takes two players all the pressure can't be put on one person i mean unless one person like really fucks up then sure but ultimately in

the rough patches where it hits that break or breakup point it takes two people to realize the situation you're in and want to do better so ask yourself are we both kind of giving up or am i putting in more effort than he is are we both kind of just like not feeling it do i even want to fix things do i want things to get better do i just want freedom any of those things that you're feeling yeah i think it's worth like a conversation about breaking up but if you both are like okay you know what it's just been off let's try and fix it let's try and get back together let's try and make things better we both want it we're both showing up as our best selves you're both addressing what needs to be addressed and moving forward then i think it's just uh you

know a rock in the road and it can be fixed it can be solved you can't get over it rule of thumb though is if you're crying like once a week in your relationship it's not a healthy relationship that's not okay if your boyfriend is making you cry once a week and you're like oh i cry more than that once a week's not a lot yeah babe run run for your life have you ever been made fun of for doing social media oh yeah definitely honestly no one in my life takes what i do seriously no one gives a fuck what I do no one cares like in my personal life no one cares about what I do online and honestly I think everybody probably thinks it's lame other than my boyfriend like he thinks it's cool he sees value in it but that's because he sees value in me but everybody else in

my life they don't give a fuck they don't see social media is like a real job they don't see it as like I don't know maybe anything good but also I genuinely don't care and it's not like people in my life or like like my friends or anything are putting me down or making fun of me for it I'm sure like old people I went to high school with when I first started posting thought I was stupid I'm sure I have like ops somewhere in the corner of the internet that hates on everything I do but also like do I care no no I really don't give a fuck honestly because I know in my heart what i'm doing brings me joy brings me passion that i truly am making a change in people's life that i'm providing a sense of just like security and hope and inspiration every

single week and honestly that's really all i need as long as you guys are receiving me well and i am able to implement positivity in your life then i don't give a fuck what anybody else is doing ever since i was a little girl i've always struggled with like mental illness and feeling like i was out of place and not feeling like i was a whole human being because i couldn't behave or act or feel these certain ways that society wanted me to feel or needed me to feel and as soon as i learned to just like give that shit up and stop trying to impress people or stop worrying about what other people thought about me i became such a free person and so much more confident and self-aware of who i am so no i don't really give a fuck i'm sure there's people

out there who make fun of me and yeah like i said my friends and family don't really care about what i do but also like it is what it is they'll support me no matter what always but genuinely i get on here and i do this for you guys every single week so as long as you guys are finding inspiration and taking positivity from this that i'm doing my job correctly hi hannah i am feeling quite quite quite quite quite lonely i am experiencing singleness for the first time since i was 19 i'm 25 now and i'm also feeling pretty out of sync with the rest of my friends it seems like they have other priorities that they're working on or i just think we're kind of in different phases of our lives with my friends and that the loneliness is getting

crippling um any advice thank you and love you oh okay this is a big one not being single from 19 to 25 you have probably changed completely and exponentially to the point where it's like as soon as you're single you're kind of reverting back to your 19 year old self because that's the last time you remember yourself being single and that can feel weird it can feel a little unnerving the way like pants don't fit you anymore it feels too tight constricting and you don't know what to do what i can tell you now is the universe has opened itself up and with new things with openness with vastness it's like walking into a brand new room and feeling like you're the only person there and that can feel very isolating it does not mean that anything bad is happening that you are on the

wrong path that you are in any sort of wrong area in your life but the isolation is very real it's very raw and i'm here to tell you this is a normal feeling all right i think during this time isolation can really transform you into a fantastic amazing person though through periods of isolation in my life I have really transformed in a way that you know certain friendships or areas of my life or relationships didn't allow me to grow or change in that what really allowed me to blossom in that isolation though was just accepting the area and the point that I was in accepting the past for what it was the situation that I have been through for what it was and taking up that room as if i fucking owned it all right making that isolation room my new home

walking the perimeters taking in the space accepting the room for what it was accepting who i am in this moment for who it is but also thinking about how i can change it and how i can develop and who i want to grow into now you're in a point where it's like all right who i was in the past it's not gonna work out that girl in that relationship where i was what i thought was gonna happen it's not gonna work it's not an option anymore grieve it for a second take time to mourn that to be like shit what i wanted didn't work out that does not mean what you want in the future won't work out we just gotta have new hopes new dreams new aspirations this also involves kind of learning who you are outside of a relationship you know um when you break up after a long-term

relationship you do have a habit of reverting back to who you were at the beginning of that relationship the last time you were single but you're not that 19 year old girl anymore you're 25 you're a woman you have so much probably love and care for yourself you have so much aspiration and i don't want you to give up on that side of yourself just because you're outside of a relationship now maybe you don't have that person to fall back on anymore doesn't mean you lost yourself in the process all right let's set some goals let's set some dreams ask yourself who the fuck do i want to be in this season of my life we are the narrators of our own life and at this point in this new season you have the option to turn your character into whoever you want to become

into whatever version of yourself that you want to become you have the choice you write the narrative so get detailed okay this is a great idea for the winter arc i kind of um uploaded some more winter arc journal prompts on the patreon but i'll share them with you guys one major tool especially if you're feeling isolated during this time or you want to grow or you don't know where to grow pause stop sit down grab a piece of paper or maybe your notes app and listen carefully ask yourself where do i want to be in the spring who do i want to be in the spring where is she living what does her situation look like what does her daily routine look like how does she take care of herself how does she present herself what kind of hobbies does she have how does she include her

friends in her daily life what does her dating habits look like what are her goals her dreams her aspirations I feel like this is also a great manifestation tool and it doesn't have to necessarily be the spring that's just the whole winter arc mindset but it could be a year from now five years from now if you maybe need more of a long-term goal this is my favorite manifestation tool because it forces you to dream and create some ideas for yourself and it gives you a plan to stick to real life things that you can start incorporating in your daily life to slowly become that dream version of yourself it's exciting it doesn't have to be so scary newness is going to be scary no matter what but i think you shouldn't allow the fear to overcome the excitement that you

might feel in this moment so get in that journal manifest dream create your new reality understand the perimeters of your new room walk every single space in that quote-unquote new room new setting new season of your life understand it fully and allow yourself to grow and develop you're deserving of it sort of way how did you get more involved in the cannabis world and combine cooking into it do you guys want to know the smoke sesh lore I don't know if I've really talked much about the smoke sesh lore I mean I've given bits and pieces but I guess I'll talk about where I started and how I got to where I am now which is honestly like the amount of growth I'm very proud of myself I've had peaks and I've had lows and I'm definitely in a peak moment at this point in time I don't

think it's the highest I'll ever peak but it is a great one nonetheless I've gotten a lot of recognition recently and there's a ton of new viewers especially on youtube and spotify so i'm so happy to have you here so let's get go over about how i became smoke sash so when i was 15 i had an instagram of course but i felt like i couldn't be myself so at the time everybody had a finsta do you remember finstas of course and my finsta name was smoke sash i mean it wasn't perfectly smoke sesh but it was smoke sesh nonetheless you know i was a stoner girly in high school of course i had to come up with something cutesy and fun and damn i was just elevating at a higher level to come up with that name because i love it smoke sesh like how cute

and of course i would get on there and i'd rant and i'd rave and you know talk about my depression or whatever that was like my safe space on the internet and of course me and my friends we all had one so it was fun to kind of have that small group and interact um so i started on my finsta i didn't really gain any recognition on my finsta it really was just like friends and that's about it and it was private so i wasn't really interested in connecting outside of anybody else but i posted on there up until about covid covid hit and i lost my job because obviously i was working in the service industry and we couldn't continue doing that with how covid was going and i felt like i lost a community i lost my interactions i was very much a social butterfly

at that time so i did want to continuously connect and communicate with people so i downloaded tiktok at that point in time at the beginning of covid i feel like tiktok was a like embarrassing app to have for download on it was like having vine in the original era and posting on vine like oh my god can you believe she's posting on vine like that's so embarrassing oh my god can you believe she's posting on tiktok that's so embarrassing but after like my first video i was like oh my gosh there's a brand new audience out there and i can reach so many people like fuck it let's keep posting let's keep posting during that time i was probably getting like six likes here and there like i had no numbers no stats maybe a couple hundred followers of just like random people who

had saw me on tiktok and i was constantly talking with them communicating just about my day or whatever whatever is on my mind nothing serious i would go live pretty often and just chit chat with a couple people here and there um i wasn't really looking for the whole point of this all i wasn't really looking for notoriety or any sort of recognition i've always just wanted to reach out to people and create that like community that sense of community but i first started getting like numbers numbers and the ogs will remember this if you followed me on tiktok way way way back but i when i first met my boyfriend whenever we would hang out he would send me home with pans of edibles like sheets of edibles and so i would eat these edibles get so so insanely high

and then I would make high in eating videos where it was like me just blazed as hell eating like a tortilla with butter and cinnamon sugar on it like the craziest things and then rating it eating a handful of croutons and rating it and that's the first thing that maybe got me a little bit of likes and views and things like that I kind of outgrew that and then I started making inspirational videos and just like fun little hangout content with like inspirational quotes that's when I really started popping off and then I think I grew to like 500,000 followers on TikTok and then I felt like I had pushed myself into a such a niche corner that I didn't feel like I could creatively be myself so I completely gave up on that account

I don't know why I still have it maybe I'll start posting there eventually but I kind of felt like I was stuck in a corner and when I feel that way I don't have that creative energy creative flow anymore so I stopped posting for a second except for just on my Instagram and then I felt like you know what I need to reach different I need to reach a different corner I need to reach a new creative avenue and then I created the podcast and luckily my gorgeous gorgeous girlies who have been listening for years now who did follow me on TikTok so many of you guys followed me over this podcast and it didn't really start big you know I just wanted to start in general I wanted to feel it out and now I've been doing it for three years then this year actually like a couple months ago

probably in like June or May I started back at my roots which was being high and cooking and I've loved it so much I mean it's something that I've always done even when I was younger I was always cooking dinners for my family you know making baked goods and pies and different things i was always cooking constantly i mean the first video that i ever made even on vine when i was like 12 was me making crepes i wasn't high at the time i was too young but i was thinking about that the other night and it's like that's so adorable where it's like no matter what avenue i follow and where I go I have always followed the same kind of passion which is just creating outreach community building mental health awareness and food because what's better than that are you kidding me who

doesn't love food who doesn't love eating who doesn't love a good meal it brings so much warmth and happiness to your heart and in my opinion who doesn't love that in combination with a little bit of a little bit of smoke am I right ladies but yeah the smoke sesh name has followed me ever sense I used it from my finsta to create my tiktok I've used that tiktok name to then create this podcast which is smoke sesh I feel like it perfectly encapsulates just what it's like to be with a small group of friends in someone's basement somewhere smoking a little bit of weed and maybe talking about our insecurities feeling like we can be more open feeling like this is a space that we can honestly and real communicate with each other and become a little bit more

vulnerable and hopefully grow from those conversations it's fun it's beautiful and i'm so happy that i've created this and been able to share it with you guys and that you've received it so well i'm sure i'll travel on so many different other creative ventures i want to get back into the inspirational video game game i do miss that a lot um i miss just like the outreach of it all when west chaffers took flight in 1996 the vibes were a bit different people thought denim on denim was peak fashion inline skates were everywhere and two out of three women rocked the rachel while those things stayed in the 90s one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when west jet welcomes you on board here's to west jetting since 96 travel back in time with

us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years yeah i think we're all transfer next or like i said what i've been finding my creative inspiration to be is youtube videos i want to make more long-form content of course i will always always always do this podcast i will never give up on it i have so much fun with you guys every tuesday even when i'm sick with covid i'm still here having such a good fucking time with you guys genuinely it does bring me so much joy like i'm not just saying that but yeah i want to share more of my life with you guys i want to share my tips my tricks with you guys i want to do a high-end cleaning video i want to do more long-form cooking and smoking content i want to take you on trips with me i want to share my life

with you guys and in my opinion i love long-form content um it's something that i've been really into recently i haven't really been into the short-form content as much this year and it's something that i want to challenge myself creatively to do so hopefully i'll be able to share that more with you guys but cheers to a long journey of smoke sesh it has been so fun and so fulfilling and you guys have been here since the beginning there's some of you guys who it's like i have seen your name pop up for like five years now and that is crazy that we have spent this much time together whether you've been here for five years one week one day i'm so thankful to have you here and generally genuinely so appreciative of what you provide to this

community because i wouldn't be here without you guys other podcast hosts have celebrities on their channels local tiktokers whoever's the new hottest person i don't give a fuck about that here on smoke sesh i'm in my chair and in my opinion you guys are sitting right across from me i'm interviewing you guys it's input from you guys that really makes this podcast because honestly no offense who cares about the celebrities i want to hear from you guys i want to know what's on your mind but yeah it's been such a good time and i'm so happy to be here with you guys every week anyways with that being said the um fever medication is wearing off i'm getting a little loopy i really apologize if this episode is shorter than usual but i my brain is shutting

down and so is my body so i really apologize if you want to buy a diva t-shirt a got weed t-shirt or a new mug um they are now all available at smokesashoddy.com the link will be in my instagram bio if you're interested if you don't know what they look like go check out my instagram at hannah marlene i'll be making a post about those and yeah if you want to join the patreon as well i'll be doing a giveaway to my patreon members i love you all so much i'll also be doing a little bit of an extra long episode this thursday to apologize for missing last for thursday honestly i don't think i would have been able to give real advice it would have been a hot fucking mess so you didn't miss out on much. I did respond to all of those questions individually in text format, but I

upload Monday manifestations, weekly journal prompts, spiritual ideas, and things that you can include in your daily life if you want to get closer to that. And I do answer every single question every single week, whether on video or for the first time ever in text format. But I love you all so, so, so much. Please take care of yourself during this time. Please stand strong by yourself during this time and take time to dream to hope to think towards the spring and ask yourself you know where do i want to go you can do anything you set your mind to all you have to do is stand strong by yourself and believe believe in yourself but take care of yourself drink your water take your medicine eat a good meal i'm gonna go make a pack of velveta shells

and cheese after this and it's gonna hit so good i literally cannot fucking wait but i love you all so much stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon