Smoke Sesh - soul searching, college & red/green flags

Episode Date: March 26, 2024

Hello hotties and happy Tuesday so excited to be back on this amazing Tuesday. Hope you had a fun weekend, we catch up on what I've been up to, getting the job, and the big sleepy girl energy going on in the universe right now. We chat the stars and what's happening, the full moon in Libra and eclipse season beginning. We talk weird dreams and tips on those newly single girls, hot girl summer 101, don't settle and setting high standards for yourself in this new age of dating, substituting healthy addictions for bad ones, getting out of control, moving out and how I did it, ADHD tips for getting your life on track, dating a guy hotter than you, new merch coming soon, how to find the party girls, energy vampires and how to spot them, the loneliness epidemic and where its stemming from, do it for the plot! going 50/50 in a relationship, you maybe hate your boyfriend, going insane, soul searching and where to find it, making a vacation at home, red/green flags in dating, body count, date em till you hate em, spring activities, finding hope in your future, being your own parent, work commute, story likers, and much much much much more! Hope you enjoyed the episode and you have an amazing Tuesday, take an extra hit for me and we will chat soon. If you want to see more from me follow me on instagram @hannahmarlene and join the patreon club at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty for extra videos and community posts. Love you! MUAH!

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all good morning hotties how the hell are you doing today welcome back to another fun little beautiful episode of smoke sesh i'm so excited to have you guys back with me again this week thank you for all the love on last week and just all the love in general i love hearing from you guys and i love hearing what you're up to um and i have really been appreciating the

support on all the videos I've been posting on my Instagram reels, like my cooking with me, my outfit videos. Shout out to all the girlies who joined the Patreon. I think I had like 150 of you join last week, which is crazy. Welcome to the club. But I hope you're all feeling well. I'm feeling all the love, feeling all the warmth, especially with this, you know, new season, spring beginning, new beginnings. We have a lot to catch up on I haven't sat down on this couch in a robe in a while though usually when I would record this podcast back in the day like three fucking years ago which is crazy to think about I can't believe I've been doing this for so long um it's been such a journey and such a fun one but not gonna lie

literally when I would record this and it was just audio I didn't have to worry about what I looked like I would be horizontal in bed a mess just like completely rotting you know lazy girled up and I love that you know that's kind of what the vibe of this podcast is like we're here to get comfy we're here to get cozy you know who cares if it's a little casual um and I was trying to put an outfit together today and I was like you know what I really don't want to change out this robe 10 out of 10 recommend a robe growing up my mom was always in a robe okay after her shower end of the night robe morning robe afternoon robe and i used to be like i didn't get it i don't know i didn't really hate on it but i definitely didn't get it i didn't have a robe as a child

now as an adult i am like this this is luxury okay this is glamour having a cute little robe that i can throw on at any point in time and just lounge around the house in 10 out of 10 recommend um it is a necessity for every glamour girl out there and honestly perfect sesh outfit girl you gotta go outside and it's cold you gotta smoke outside put on a long fluffy robe you gotta run an errand real quick girl throw on a robe over your sweats you are just gonna hang out and smoke in your living room throw on a robe there is no situation where a robe is not the perfect outfit let's be real so i'm here i am comfy i am very casual today um that's because i'm exhausted is anybody else feeling that way anybody else just like wow I'm I'm sleepy I'm really tired

sleepy girl energy is at an all-time high right now that is I think a lot a lot of it has to do with what's going on the stars right now um today's Monday when I'm recording I know I post this on Tuesdays but Monday um there is a lunar eclipse full moon in Libra um there was a full moon ceremony that I was going to go last to last night decided against that just because I needed some time to rot in bed and not speak to anybody quite frankly sometimes a girl just needs some time to do that but this uh new eclipse this full moon in Libra is all about like new beginnings and recognizing maybe patterns of behavior that you have not completely been aware of but now you are and you're realizing we need to break these patterns we need to escape we have to break the

cycle it is up to us and that can be a little stressful it can be a little tiring and with every full moon I feel like you know the dreams are crazy the sleep is light for me personally um the way my brain is so overactive at night and dreaming wise when there's a full moon um so we're just feeling that kind of residual energy today and we're doing the best with what we can you just got to hold on treat yourself a little bit to make all the hard work worth it trust in yourself we'll get through this especially when you're feeling that sleepy energy you just got to lean into it and indulge a little bit so that's my plan for today um I got the job I guess I'll fill you in on what happened last week um I went in for my interview

and super fucking cute place so excited to work there amazing people amazing owners amazing food I don't know why I like to make things hard on myself but of course it's a restaurant with food that I've eaten before and it is some of my favorite type of food but I know nothing about it so I have a lot to learn so it's a little bit of a challenge for me but it'll be a good challenge and I'm so excited to work there but I have just been like overworking this job overworking my other job and overworking my new job so your girl is like I need a day luckily today is the beginning of my weekend so I'm just here to hang out with you guys light up a little bit and just indulge in all my favorite things talk some gossip enjoy life hang

out with my girls what a better way to rest and relax you know so with that being said I don't have a lot much more to catch you up on I have just been working working working working I don't know when you guys listen to this podcast or um maybe I'm like a little indulgence where it's like okay i finally have all my work done i'm gonna listen to a podcast and smoke maybe i you listen to me when it's like the morning time and you're getting ready you're doing your makeup getting ready for the day driving to work driving home from work i don't know when you listen to me but i am happy to be here and i'm so happy for you guys to involve me in your everyday life and hopefully hopefully we can indulge in the rest and relaxation energy together today i can transfer

all my positive calming energy over to you today so nailed that interview I'm a little awkward when it comes to new beginnings or meeting new people so I have to give myself a little bit of time to open up and learn you know how this new job is going to work and get comfortable there but I know once I get comfortable there it's going to be a fantastic place to work so cheers to new beginnings cheers to making hard changes cheers to believing in ourselves and pushing ourselves to always do better um hard work will always always always pay off so trust in that and don't give up on yourself but that being said i would say cheers and you know cheers little joint but i have a double shot espresso latte in front of me that I need to face to the dome like we need to be

caffeinated girlies so cheers posted a picture of me holding this microphone and my friend DM me and goes is that a bedazzled Hitachi wand no it's not but that was that is kind of the energy I was trying to create with this giant pink bedazzled microphone because when I tell you this is exactly what my vibrator looks like anyways let's get into it okay someone said feeling lost and unmotivated I don't know what my goals are and I'm questioning everything something in the stars yes yes yes yes it is something in the stars eclipse season you know what let's get into it let's do a little astrology um today let's go over what the fuck is happening and why you might be feeling this way um we have not had an eclipse specifically an eclipse in libra since september

27th 2015 so the whole perspective of this eclipse is where were you then and where are you now and are you where you expected are you somewhere you want to be are you missing out on things are other patterns that are repeating that you're starting to realize that you need to address and work through in order to grow. It is all about reflection. I feel like people think eclipses can be supernatural and scary and completely disruptive. I think people think that way about Mercury retrograde as well when in reality I think it is a great time to really pause and reflect on where you are and where you want to go. I try to be very intentional about times like this and really taking accountability for my own life instead of just being a victim to my own life.

Like we are the only people in charge of what we do on a daily basis and where we go and you truly can get anywhere you want to be. It is all about taking accountability and working hard and moving in the direction you want to go this lunar eclipse uh occurs on march 25th at 3 a.m eastern time this isn't a full eclipse but rather a partial one it is also a micro moon meaning that the moon is in apogee and far away from the earth the moon will appear smaller than usual so don't get discouraged by its lack of visibility and brightness we will still feel its power pluto and aquarius and asteroid palace which is in sagittarius both aspect this eclipse this means that we are going to be urged to evolve in situations and relationships but we will only

want to do so for the ones we hold near and dearest to our hearts anyone else will be left by the wayside for now remember that eclipses are moments in time and even though it may feel like things or people are lost forever they aren't necessarily we can always come back to a situation or partnership and try to make it better as the months go by this eclipse occurs during the worm moon the worm moon is in the lunation that occurs close to the vernal equinox and marks the beginning of a new season okay and the coming of the warmer month months when the snow on the ground begins to melt and the worms are seen in the soil it's a time of rejuvenation restoration and rebirth happy spring okay the lunar nodes also known as the nodes of destiny change every year and a half

indicating the areas of our lives that need attention with the south node and lunar eclipse both in libra it's time to let go of certain things okay like unhealthy relationships or partnerships the north node currently in aries represents what we want to achieve while the south node in libra signifies what we need to release it to move forward the lunar eclipse in libra is happening on the transitioning south node of destiny this means that we want to break unhealthy patterns and create balance in our lives however we're also trying to let go of things that aren't making us happy and move toward a better foundation and understanding of matters to make it even better mercury is in its pre-retrograde shadow the beginning of march 18th means that we might

have a lot of uncovering to regard in past situations truths will be revealed which may rock our world but that doesn't necessarily mean it's not for good uh these truths could be about others or about ourselves keep in mind that we need to see light and reality to assess how we want to live our best lives going forward okay do not live in delusion now is not a time to be delusional there will be a stellium of planets and pisces on the day of the eclipse with venus mars saturn and neptune all immutable water signs so it may be challenging to make necessary changes and the pisces fog may prevent us from seeing completely clearly uh clearly and understanding matters we may also feel extremely sensitive and unsure of how to move forward it's worth noting

that pisces is an intuitive sign and we may experience anxiety due to heightened emotions that we can't logically explain as a cluster of planets share a minor frustration with the eclipse and logical libra although it might feel confusing trust in that intuition the eclipse will bring an extreme intensity of these energies to the forefront of our hearts making us want to fix problems immediately but we have to do the work that is needed to have the relationships and friendships we desire we must roll our sleeves up and get dirty life is messy and acknowledging these sentiments and working towards remedying them with an open heart and mind is vital because then you can be a self-realized person and know what you want it also takes two to tango

our partners should be willing to transform and grow both parties must be willing able and present this lunar eclipse is allowing us to see how we partner and who we partner with we will be taking accountability and responsibility for our actions related to the group dynamic of our interpersonal relationships. The key to finding balance and harmony within these relationships is to be happy and have peace of mind. So hopefully that's a little bit of a explanation for you all and put some things into perspective. It can be a little bit of a confusing time during this eclipse season or simply right now because we're feeling a lot of necessary change happen in our lives and we're feeling this push and this urge to make necessary changes in our lives but with the mutable water

signs that are more of an intuitive uh feeling we know we need to do something it's just hard to figure out what to do um so going back to that question feeling lost and unmotivated i don't know what my goals are and i'm questioning everything i recommend especially during this time to just take a chance you know what your intuition is guiding you towards trust in that your intuition is usually never wrong um and the difference between intuition and maybe anxiety is one feels peaceful one obviously feels chaotic and unpeaceful and unrational intuition is feeling sitting here and feeling like i know what i need to do and i feel calmness and understanding in it and sure it's a little scary because it's going to be change or it's going to be hard or whatever it

may be but there is that under over or overlying sense of peace in that feeling whereas anxiety is anxiety there's no peace in that okay overthinking is also based in anxiety there's no peace in that so if you're feeling lost and unmotivated and you don't know what your goals are especially during this time a great practice to kind of honor this eclipse is to and i wrote this down as our sunday journal prompts on the patreon these are some great questions to kind of take accountability for your life and ask yourself where you are and where you want to go and ask yourself if i'm in the right position and if not how do i get there these are the questions i proposed um for my patreon to kind of give people kind of a reality check and a sense of balance

within their life and kind of look back and ask themselves where did I come from and where do I want to go it's kind of like a little intake checklist for our own personal lives I said where did you imagine yourself now back in 2015 during that last eclipse are you doing what you wanted are you becoming who you dreamed of if so why if not why what do you need to let go of in order to move forward and grow what beliefs and assumptions are holding you back what actions can you take daily to create change and what are three goals you can implement to make that change I think also another great practice during this time of the eclipse season is to script write this is a great manifestation tool I know people are very against the manifestation especially

during the full moon but during this time where feelings can be a little bit more confusing and we don't know where we want to go I think it's a great time to dare to dream and dare to look forward and script writing script writing is one of my favorite ways to look forward and achieve my dreams and manifest a little bit and really just figure out who do I want to become when the future looks so unclear essentially you're going to imagine yourself a year from now five years from now wherever you want to get in the future wherever your pinpoint in the future is of where you imagine yourself getting how much time you need and you're going to script write what that life looks like what your morning routine looks like what you're doing where you live like

detailed what does your job look like what does your morning commute look like what who are your friends what kind of you know social interaction do you have during the week get detailed about the life you want as detailed as you possibly can get and dare to dream nothing is off limits during the script writing you can be in new york you could be you know overseas somewhere else you could be a ceo who cares this is all about dreaming and looking forward and kind of just setting a goal for yourself so then you have the motivation to keep moving forward especially when we feel like we are closing cycles and we are maybe coming to an end of certain lives and certain experiences this is a great time and great practice to really just look forward and understand that

there is good to come so if you're feeling heavy you're feeling overwhelmed during this time don't let it get to you okay close off those cycles that are not us fulfilling your life or not making you feel uplifted and you know supported and it's okay to leave people behind who maybe aren't I don't want to necessarily describe it as benefiting you because of course not every relationship is going to be a beneficial relationship and you should not look at relationships as transactional in that sort of sense of course there's going to be up and downs in every sort of relationships but naturally we do outgrow some and it's hard to let go of the ones we outgrow because of attachments so if you feel like you have outgrown a certain relationship

situation cycle as a person I'm here to let you know it is okay to let that go and to move on in order to grow into the person you want to become and in fact if you find yourself not able to grow into the person you want to become usually it's because you're holding on to things in the past that are keeping you behind and keeping you stuck in the past in order to grow I feel like the universe really needs a sign that you're willing to do so and you have the strength to do so and I've found to propel myself into the direction that I truly want to go in the path that I truly want to go it does take having some losses and having some hard changes and working hard but if you put the work out there and you make the decisions that you know are beneficial for you

and good for you and propel you in that direction the universe will take note and it will uplift that and propel you faster and push you forward way faster than you ever could have holding on to so tightly the things in the past that were simply holding you back so I love you happy eclipse don't panic things will be okay I promise anyways someone said I stay listening to your podcast at my big girl office job and I feel like an undercover baddie lol I love that not you in the pantsuit like listening to me ramble and smoke weed on my couch love that for us honestly true baddie behavior let's be real hopefully I can accompany you at your desk job and make it a little bit more fun you know what I mean the brain fog today is real oh my god these full moon eclipse

I feel like especially in the full moon I don't get good sleep my dreams are fucking crazy tell me why last night you know what one thing I'll do I will always have my back even when I am passed out completely asleep like I will always have my back and that's how I know I have put in the work to really trust in myself and stand by myself because tell me why last night I was dead ass asleep probably like 3 a.m dreaming that I was sitting here recording this podcast and some girl came and knocked on the door like saying there was like a delivery or something so I had my boyfriend run down and like talk to her and then I'm recording my podcast recording my podcast and I'm like you know it's been like two hours and I haven't seen him come back up like what's going on

and so obviously it was done recording so I went down to investigate and um she this is not real once again this is just a dream but she was uh blowing him and you know what I did you know what i did you know why i know i have my back because dream hannah like there was no like sobbing rolling on the floor there was no waking up crying there was no i'm gonna go beat the shit out of both of them there was no violence dream hannah said oh my god i have to get the fuck out of here i gotta go throw his shit over the railing onto the ground below but i need to go find all of his vintage polo and hide it so when he's packing his shit because I'm kicking him out because he just cheated on me I'm I'm up because now I have a hoard of all of his vintage polo and I know

that's the only thing that brings him joy in this life like how psychotic how crazy but anyways thank you dream Hannah thank you for having my back thank you for being so smart because I was like you know what true i'm learning a thing or two from her because real like there's no need to get angry or mad like we up okay kick him out take his polo take his good clothes move on like isn't that insane anyway shout out to dream hannah for coming through on that one not based in reality at all i don't really have any anxieties about any of that ever happening but the dreams no wonder I'm fucking exhausted all right someone said advice for dating and hookups after being in a long-term relationship just have fun don't take it seriously do not get out of a long-term

relationship and be like I need to be in another one I think after you leave a long-term relationship you need to be single for like at least a year at least because I'm sure your long-term obviously long-term relationship you've lost your like single years for a couple years I'm assuming if it's long term at least a year okay so allow yourself to be single allow yourself to indulge in that allow yourself to like get to know yourself a little bit and re-establish your life on the basis of I'm single I am completely and utterly focused on myself right now because once you have your life established in that sort of sense it's really easy to you know recognize the people that just simply don't fit into your life plan especially when your life is based on what

is good for you and what is only good for you if it's not good for you if it doesn't fit girl you will feel it and there will be no accepting it when you find yourself in a place of I need I need I need I need to be in a relationship I need to be loved you are so much more willing to settle for the bums and the brokies so don't settle go out have fun don't look for love right now enjoy life it's okay to have like casual hookups casual whatever that's the single life okay um but prioritize your peace and your dream self and your dream life over everything else do not go out there immediately looking for a relationship i really really really recommend just doing everything you've ever possibly dreamed of during that relationship um as a single woman

and just having fun you know what i mean someone said locking in for hot girl summer advice uh hot girl summer once again i think it's kind of the same as the last one just go out and have fun don't take things too seriously go dance your little heart out go make mistakes go try new things challenge yourself um try and get out of the house as much as you possibly can i feel like that's really the basis of hot girl summer every single year is just like we're outside we out and about you know what I mean I'm gonna be in my shortest mini skirt I'm gonna be in my shortest short shorts my little tank tops I'm gonna be dressing as hot as I possibly can I'm gonna be feeling myself I'm gonna get my tan on I'm gonna be out exploring the world taking

advantage of as much of the world as I can in the sense of exploration of not only myself in relationship the world but also the world in relation to me um and once again not taking relationships that seriously anyways why does every man want a casual relationship in their 20s i just want a boyfriend that's because men understand they have a choice and most men choose freedom does that make sense now of course that's not all men let's be fucking real like if the right one comes along a man will settle down but I do think most men are very very selfish and there's something to learn about that especially in this dating culture um that they're I hate to say but they're kind of making the right choice like a lot of these men know they

don't want to be in a relationship they know they just want to go out and hook up with women and have a good time and that's exactly what they fucking do I mean to the demise of a lot of people which is fucked up and maybe they should work on their communications they're not hurting so many people like just say you want to hook up and that's it and take that at face value and move on you don't have to lie and be like maybe maybe maybe one day girl shut up boy shut up i do think most men understand and prioritize their life in relation to themselves and a lot of people get hurt along the way because of it and i don't think we should necessarily adopt that aspect of male idealized dating culture but i do think we should adopt the selfishness a little bit more

especially as women like it's okay to be like no i know what i want and i'm not settling for anything less um i think women find themselves in situationships too often because they're willing to settle for anything i think women find themselves um in bad relationships too often because they're willing to settle for anything like be as selfish as you possibly can because one thing about those men out there that you are dating that you're swiping right on they're also doing the same exact fucking thing so you might as well do yourself a favor and just prioritize yourself always always never prioritize a man over you hot girl summer advice never prioritize a man over you ever okay anyways there is something to learn or to learn from that kind of narcissistic

mindset don't adopt it completely but also if they're playing the game you might as well as well you know okay we haven't done call-ins in a long time and that's because my dumb ass has forgotten to actually post the call-in link so apologies for that but a few of you guys heard my little spiel about you can send them to my dms and a few of you guys sent some there so i wanted to go over those hi hannah i am just calling in while i make myself a really yummy breakfast and i drink my little ice latte and i live my life um because i listened to your podcast episode this morning about interviews without even really realizing it because I had an interview like I listened to it while making my coffee and doing my little morning routine getting ready for my

interview and I just wanted to tell you that you've made such an impact on my life um as far as listening to my gut and trusting my own intuition of myself this job wouldn't have happened without my confidence that I've grown from listening to your podcast and I suggested to like every single one of my girlfriends um I just appreciate your vulnerability and your your eloquence and your ability to um make me believe in myself and I I've grown so much in the four years following your your you know journey and I just appreciate you so much oh stop I'm going to cry literally this this is what I do it for this is what I do this fucking thing for okay i love seeing you guys grow i love seeing you blossom and develop into

the people you're just like meant to be and like find yourself and just feel like literally like i'm crying like there is just so much love to be found and i think we just spend so much time searching outwards for it that we don't realize we can really garner that inside if we just truly believe in ourselves and see how fucking awesome we are and honor that you know what i mean oh my god i love you i hope you nail that fucking job interview babe um you are so deserving of everything i'm glad i can actually use my words to do something is not gonna lie sometimes i just be fucking yapping and i'm i yap for 10 minutes and i'm like did i say anything productive apparently i am thank god um but i love you and thank you for those kind words that means so much

to me and cheers to the job interview i hope you get everything you want in life go after everything don't hold yourself back and keep believing in yourself love you also og girly four years oh my god love to hear that thank you for being here through all the years that's incredible yeah oh my god four years I can't believe I've been doing this that long think about how far both of us have grown in that time that's amazing tips for healthy morning routine tired of immediately waking up and using my phone okay I do this so often I get up I'm immediately on my phone I'm immediately scrolling checking up blah blah blah I mean most of it is for work so of course I kind of have to do that it's like checking my emails my favorite app on my phone

is my email. I love checking my email. Anybody else feel that way? I feel like that's my brain forming and I'm becoming an adult. Like why am I obsessed with my email? Anyways, I recommend moving the type of content you consume. Like with any sort of addiction, if you cut it out cold turkey, you're going to feel like there's a loss and that's not going to be an easy change to accept. So change the way you consume. So maybe instead of just like opening up your phone and immediately scrolling on tiktok maybe you put on this podcast long form turn your phone off plays in the background you go you get up you brush your teeth you get ready for the day you make coffee you get into your routine without actually having to necessarily scroll be in constant

connection with your phone you can do that after you do your whole routine but have some sort of like long form content on in the background have some form of like youtube video something in the sort to replace that unhealthy kind of addiction you gotta you gotta replace that unhealthy addiction with a healthy addiction and it's okay to use your phone in a healthy way there are ways to use your phone in a healthy way you don't necessarily have to like throw it 10 feet away from you and not touch it for an hour after waking up you can utilize it in a healthy productive way one of my favorite things to do in the morning is actually wake up and i'll turn on a podcast something to listen to and then I'll like maybe uh scroll on Pinterest so I get my scrolling in

but in a non-brain melting way and I build up some inspiration I build up some mood boards um maybe I will get on my phone and like scroll on Depop you know go through my likes stuff like that I'm not necessarily buying anything on there but it's not me mindlessly scrolling on TikTok or Instagram, so I do feel like it's a little bit healthier. Okay, now this is a unhealthy to unhealthy addiction pipeline. Nicotine as a replacement for my THC pen. Love you girl from Tucson. No, no, no, no. That, that's a form of unhealthy for unhealthy. I do not recommend that one. How to make peace with things that are out of your control, Illy. One of the big things I had to learn as just like an adult in this world is there are things that are in your control that

you can worry about and your worry your anxiety will actually help you figure out the situation there are things out of your control where your worry and your anxiety are not going to help the situation in fact they probably will make the situation worse because now you're overthinking it you're over analyzing it when you're over analyzing and you're overthinking is simply not going to help you whatsoever um I used to waste a lot a lot a lot of my mental energy my time just worrying about everything that I couldn't control every single thing and when I tell you that was the most exhausted and most mentally drained I've ever been in my life there are things that are out of your control and if you want to be a normal functioning human

being in this life you have to recognize and decipher between those things and when that shit happens and you can't control it you have to mentally just step the fuck away i love i love love love the term not my circus not my monkeys not my circus not my monkeys that's their fucking fault i'm gonna let them figure it out i'm gonna do me they need to figure that shit out not my circus not my monkeys like literally it's such a great mental reminder that like that you are wasting your energy worrying over this not your circus not your monkeys look at my car got fucking hit by a recycling truck as soon as it happened it was like okay i could sit here i could start panicking and being like oh my god oh my god what am i gonna do next not my circus not my monkeys

not my fucking fault my car still works okay checkmate no need to worry it's not really making a huge difference there's a huge fucking scratch on it my bumper's hanging off not my circus not my monkeys that's their fucking fault i'm gonna let them worry and figure it out because that's their problem not mine not my circus not my monkeys they'll figure it out and they'll get back to me but i'm not gonna waste my time and my energy worrying over it when it's something that I simply can't control it happens whoops it happened oh shit it happened but in order for me to be a mentally stable functioning human being I have to take accountability for things that I can control and can worry about and I will worry about those things trust me I will worry

about those fucking things and I'll figure it out but if I can't I'm not going to be able to adequately assess and address things that I should be worrying about if I'm wasting all my time worrying about things that I can't. So in order to be a good functioning adult and solve the problems that are actually problems in my life that I need to solve, I need to let the people around me solve their own fucking issues. And I need to let myself not worry about shit that I can't solve because it's a waste of my fucking time. It's a waste of my brain space. It's a wasted my energy so listen when i can worry i love worrying when i can be anxious i will be but if it's something that's not worth being anxious about girl it's up to god it's up to

the universe it's up to whoever's fucking fault it is not me and they'll get back to me when they get back to me but until then whatever literally car hit by a recycling truck i was like listen i will make some phone calls i'll get an estimate on my car but other than that that's up to the fucking company to figure it out and how they're gonna pay me okay no need to worry it will settle itself out especially if it's something you can't control find peace and understanding that it you it will get figured out okay you don't have to figure it out because it's not your fucking problem it will get itself figured out so worry about the things you can't worry about everything else fuck it you know what I mean you really have to realize where you can utilize like

as a very anxious person I realized you can use your anxiety to to your advantage okay like I can use my overthinking to my advantage what what this isn't a negative habit that I need to completely release I mean you need to partially release but it does help me in situations that I find are problems that I do need to solve as an adult or like work problems or you know general life problems overthinking those will help me figure it out faster than ever possibly before having anxiety about those things I mean don't overwhelm yourself but it will help me figure out those problems utilize it in situations that are good for you but if it's not gonna help you and you're just fucking mentally beating yourself up over something that's not even your fucking fault

release let go not my circus not my fucking monkeys okay when did you move out and literally how oh okay that's a good question um well i guess i mean i guess i technically moved out when i was in the dorms in college but i don't think people really consider that actually moving out um because it's I mean rent's a part of your tuition and it's not necessarily like bills bills like adult things um it's more so like a soft move out now a real move out like as in paying rent finding a lease finding my own apartment things like that I moved out right when the or a month after the pandemic started because I was living with my parents I was about to turn 21 I was 20 about to turn 21 first of all if you're living with your parents I recommend doing so as long

as possible if it's oh like semi mentally healthy for you I understand living with your parents is never going to be completely mentally healthy for you and you are going to possibly lose your mind every once in a while but if you find yourself like having a safe place to live for free and they don't care they want you there utilize that as long as possible girl put some noise canceling headphones on whenever you need mind your own p's and q's get out of the house but if you can utilize not paying rent for as long as possibly can do so oh my god rack up that money save your fucking money endure live with your parents I understand if it's not a safe place to live and you want to move out valid valid valid I'm talking about you know your parents

are a little fucking annoying because you're they're your parents and you're living with them that's stressful because you're also trying to be an adult in real time and they want you to be a child and that's a hard relationship to now to navigate especially living under your parents roof but if they're just a little annoying like stay there save your fucking money okay because I moved out at 20 and I mean I had the money to move out I wasn't necessarily struggling but I do wish I could have saved a few more years of money up you know had a couple extra thousand in my bank account you know if I'm not having to pay rent because let me tell you once those bills start hitting your bank account you will be like oh wow I had it good wow wait a minute maybe living

with my parents isn't so bad what do you mean I have to pay $800 in rent every month but I like to think I moved out in a semi-smart way though um I didn't really know what the fuck I was doing you won't really know ever what the fuck you're doing especially moving out the first time um but it was during covid and i had to work i had to work i had to make money hello unfortunately um and code was happening and my mom was very paranoid about covid as she should be i'm not saying like i'm not an anti-covid or like very real to be paranoid about it but she was like if you're gonna live with us you have to quit your job and listen babe that simply was not an option let's be real unfortunately not an option she was like you can live here but we're

not gonna like pay you you had to quit your job like sorry about it and I was like I feel like if I quit my job I'm gonna a lose a lot of money I'm gonna lose a lot of my independence um and that just seems like a non-negotiable for me so I was like fuck it I'm moving out um I moved out and I did so by renting a room in a house I don't think moving out and immediately moving into a big one bedroom alone apartment is a good idea I think you kind of have to go through the nitty-gritty to get to the good you know now I'm living in a fantastic amazing two-bedroom apartment but of course my first apartment was not like that whatsoever I joined like a local searching for roommate searching for place to live facebook group and i don't use fucking facebook but it's

a great community tool especially when there's already community groups created and there's people consistently posting in there um and i just was in there every day looking for a cute house with nice girlies and i lucked out i found an amazing fucking house in an area that i love love loved in fact i'm looking to buy a house in that area now um rent was cheap i think it was like 600 bucks for a room in like a four-bedroom house it was just me and the owner there for a while but eventually I think I did one year with just me and her and then she moved out to live with her boyfriend and then it was me and like three other girls and I moved to the uh like attic suite so I had like it was like a kind of like a two-bedroom situation or we all shared a bathroom we all

shared a kitchen um but I think that community aspect is really good uh especially as a first time living alone um because then you have people to kind of rely on in a sense of like if you have questions you can always ask your roommates now none of my roommates are my friends I think that's a good distinction to make none of these roommates were like people I grew up with friends like that really good friends they were like friends in a sense of like I liked them and I would chit chat with them we'd hang out every once in a while uh but they were not like close close close friends I feel like a lot of people have a hard time living with really close friends because it's hard to communicate with really close friends um it's hard to kind of have that like roommate

boundary with really really close friends um especially if you find yourself getting to issues or problems maybe you like don't want to bring things up because they're really close friends things like that you know I think it's really good to have a roommate that maybe you know you like you get along with your friends with but you're not like friend like friend friend friends with like obsessed with you know what I mean um so I moved in there lived there for a year had some other girlies moved in lived there for another year and then she ended up selling the house um so I lived there for two years and yeah I found that renting a room in a house was a great plan for me especially as a first time living alone girly rent was really cheap it was a really nice

fucking house the girl I lived with was super nice we got along pretty cordially we hung out every once in a while um kind of spiraled because then the girls I was living with after that they were bartenders but like club bartenders so they were asleep all day and up all night but then they also came home drunk they'd leave food out and then we had mice then she sold the place then I moved into my own apartment for the first time ever that was great expensive expensive so i say to cook to cut costs especially living alone for the first time living alone can be scary like not having people to live with can be scary especially when you're alone constantly so i think if you're moving out for the first time ever move out with roommates find a house find

your local you know searching for roommate groups um find some girlies that look like they'd be a fun time to live with and rent a room in a house 10 out of 10 recommend as a tool to move out for the first time and kind of set yourself up for success i don't think you should move out for the first time and move it to like a one bedroom apartment alone that's a lot of expensive expenses you're gonna be alone you're gonna have to like completely stock the place with furniture and pots and pans and shit like that worry about stocking a bedroom in a house or in a you know two-bedroom apartment don't worry about trying to fully furnish the whole apartment as a first-time person moving out because it's gonna be really fucking expensive so if you can find a house

that some girlies already live there and looking for a new roommate that's how I think you should go about it someone said hi Hannah I'm finding out that I have ADHD at 19 do you have any tips for working with it thank you you have to like over schedule you have to over schedule a big thing about adhd is you forget very easily you also get sidetracked very easily um you also kind of have a hard time setting up schedules or organizing schedules or organizing anything in your brain you need a physical place to organize you need multiple physical places to organize i love lists i create lists every single day okay every week i have a new i have a notes app that i open and I create a list of all my groceries and I organize them by day of what we're gonna eat

so then I have a full list full understanding of what I need to eat what I'm eating for lunch what I'm eating for breakfast what are my snacks what dinners I'm having on certain days so then during the week I don't have panic attacks not being able to figure out what the fuck I'm eating for dinner okay scheduling same thing I have a big wall calendar I fill out my monthly calendar I check it every single day I also have a weekly calendar or a weekly planner that I fill out every Sunday whatever my reset day is maybe Monday and I check back in with it and I cross things out and I write it back down and I color code things okay you have to be extra extra organized because your brain isn't so you really have to step up and kind of solve that part of your brain that's not solving

itself that can't solve itself and for me with my ADHD I felt like my anxiety was higher my overthinking was higher um my dissociation was higher when I was not taking accountability and organizing my life I thought my life would just organize itself hell no girly you got to work extra hard unfortunately but if you do work extra hard the hard work will pay off I promise you but you got to get organized okay monthly calendar weekly planner creating lists do brain dumps of things you need to do and then organize based off of that you will figure it out but i feel like that's what has worked best for me um especially as somebody who has a very very hard time organizing understanding remembering um due to my adhd thoughts on dating a man that is hotter

than you i feel so insecure um is he making you feel insecure because if he's making you feel insecure about it or if he ever has brought up the topic of he's hotter than you immediately dump that man and dump him immediately if he said i'm hotter than you or you're not as hot as me what the fuck that's a psycho dump him um but if it's just like unnatural or uh insecurity that you're coming up with yourself um thoughts that you're planning in your own brain offer yourself some forgiveness hot people really only date hot people so i don't i doubt you're uglier than him like let's be fucking real when has a man been hotter than a woman ever ever ever so i doubt that is a thought based in reality offer yourself some peace and forgiveness you have to be hot as

this hot man's dating you two plus two equals four let's be real someone said not really a question but i got your hoodie and i'm obsessed i love that i'm creating so many new fun things for you guys should i spill the tea i actually you know what fuck it yeah i will um i'm re-dropping the got weed t-shirts just in time for um 420 i will be releasing those hopefully in the next week or so so keep your eye on that follow my instagram at hannah marlene to make sure you know when the drop is available and they should be available for a long long long time same thing with these hoodies uh they should be available for a while um i ordered a lot of rhinestones so we should be good to go so if you have been the girlies who have been dming me every single day like girl when

they when will they restock follow the instagram at hannah marlene i will let you know very very soon hopefully by next tuesday um i also am creating new lighter cases i created gold in the past they have a new saying on them um but i'm doing gold and silver because i had some girlies dm me like hey i'm really not a girl a gold girl i would love silver i hear you i'm creating those they have a new fun saying new fun image on them so very excited for those i also am a big coffee girl obviously and i love collecting mugs and i was like why haven't i created any mugs for myself you know what I mean so I'm making mugs with something very cute on them and I'm also doing tote bags as well I might do more hoodies in a different color different saying different size

things like that we'll see but those are the things that I have coming up and I'm very excited to share them with you I've been working hard with some people on creating and designing and getting these things made so that'll be my spring drop in like a month the mugs and the lighters and stuff like that, but I do want to get those Got We T-shirts out to you guys before 420 because I know you girlies will be out celebrating and I want you to be running around all bedazzled and looking hot as

fuck on 420. Let's be real. Legendary is here with BetMGM Sportsbook. Sign up to unlock access to hundreds of pre-match and live betting options for all your favorite sports. Download the BetMGM app. See BetMGM.com for terms. 18 plus Alberta

only. Please play responsibly. Subject eligibility requirements if gambling is affecting your mental health or well-being 211 alberta is here to help call or text 211 or visit ab.211.ca fedmgm operates pursuant to an operating agreement with the alberta i-gaming corporation standard message and data rates may apply hey girl wondering if we could talk genuine nine-to-five boredom in life and um ways to maybe combat that finding joy outside of it and also um thoughts on furthering education thinking about law school and I don't know if I'm insane but really interested in making more money all right love you love you nine to five boredom very real especially for a lot of us um as young people the jobs that

we're getting into is like entry-level jobs are not going to be that interesting that's why everybody is going out and drinking after work because they're like holy shit I've been so bored all day I need actual human interaction not a healthy way to maybe unpack that emotion but very real nine to five boredom very real I really recommend a lot of girls are like I go to my nine to five and I only have two hours of work to actually do girl while you're there get some certifications on their time do some of your shit on their time while clocked in um try and balance that as much as you can but furthering education I actually really really recommend it that's something I've seriously been thinking about recently is going back to school and actually

achieving my bachelor's it's something that I really regret doing dropping out I feel like I just should have persevered because it's harder to go back than it is to just keep going but I do really encourage education all the way all the way you will never make a bad investment investing in your education and in your mind and furthering your education not only are you going to learn more about yourself through it but also the techniques and the things you need to learn in order to further your career um my brother is a lawyer he actually went to law school I know it was the hardest thing I'm wearing pants under these I promise um I know it's the hardest thing that he's ever done in his life but he is at a state in his life where it's like oh my god he's

doing so many incredible things he is working his ass off and he's actually living a life that I think he finds a lot of peace and enjoyment from so if that's something you want to challenge yourself to do fuck it go for it you know what i mean we only have one life you might as well take as many risks as you possibly can especially when the risk is like well do i better myself and challenge myself or not you know it's not like a life or death threat how do you find the party girls at your university literally fiending for a night out um i ran into the party girls and i got into the party scene when i was going downstairs at 3 a.m to the vending machines to get a snack and then i saw all of them stumbling and drunk as fuck and i was like i need to be

their friend i need to be their friend we're gonna get along get in the elevator with them oh my god hey girls what the fuck you been up to you guys are gonna get so much fun we should go out together sometime here's my number here's my instagram hit me up oh my god we've got class together i'll sit by you next time boom now you're a part of the party circle it's that simple just be nice you know what i mean be like hey you know put yourself out there be like oh my god would love to go out with you guys sometime you know we're gonna have a lot of fun oh tips for being your most authentic self and steering clear of energy suckers i feel like the whole energy vampire thing is very real the biggest biggest biggest red flag

you can look for on who might be an energy vampire is a do they have more positive things to say or more negative things to say if they have more negative things to say definitely energy vampire girl I cannot deal I cannot deal of course we all have our complaints every once in a while but bitch we need some positivity up in here every once in a while because I cannot mentally stand that shit another red flag is a lot of energy vampires they won't be able to see you for who you are and they will want you to change so if they're not completely and completely completely uplifting of who you are as a person or they're very critical about who you are as a person or you find them so find them putting you down a lot or putting you know your interests your

hobbies things like that if you find find them you know making fun of you a lot putting you down things like that that's an energy vampire they don't like you i don't know why they're around you maybe because they feel a connection to you in some sort of way but free yourself literally if someone is trying to force you to change or force you to behave a certain way or force you to do something a certain way because they don't like it girl why are you around me like I'm being me if you don't like that you can move on I want to stay here and keep doing me you know what I mean but I feel like those are two of the biggest red flags you can really search for thoughts on the loneliness epidemic slash ways to combat it i feel like the lonely loneliness epidemic is

completely caused by this narcissistic wave of people really only thinking about themselves um of course of course of course when you are a person that has a hard time addressing yourself uplifting yourself things like that when i especially when i found myself in a very deep dark depression i did not want to think or address myself whatsoever and when i did it was only negatively um I kind of had to flip the script and I had to force myself to be as positive as possible I had to force myself to actually prioritize myself for a change what crazy why would I do that I'm a people pleaser no girl we gotta prioritize ourself as well I had to force myself to be a little bit more selfish but I think people they go low and then they get to that

middle ground we're like okay I'm forcing myself to be a little bit more selfish but then they take it way too far where it's like well I only care about me and fuck everybody else and I don't care about anybody else I just care about what I think about and I think that's caused a lot of loneliness in young people nowadays which is oh everything's about me I'm the main character I don't give a fuck about anybody else so they don't get it I'm cutting them off oh they were critical about me once I'm cutting them off oh they didn't respond to my text they're a bad fucking friend and they don't prioritize me and I'm cutting them off oh my job is mean to me I'm cutting everybody off um that's created a lot of fucking loneliness okay that's created a lot of this like narcissistic

mindset where people don't get me so I'm just gonna be alone where I get myself oh people don't prioritize me I'm just gonna be alone and that is really fucking unhealthy it is and I hate to say I have kind of been a proponent for this mindset once again in a healthy way where it's like if you find yourself so low that you've never thought about prioritizing yourself it's really good to kind of like start being a little bit more selfish and start taking accountability for your life and the people who are in it and the people who might be using you and prioritizing what is good for you for the first time ever in your fucking life but if you only ever prioritize yourself in this life and you don't ever put like your friends first or your family first of course you're never gonna

have any fucking true connection let's be real like of course sometimes you have to do things you don't want to fucking do that's a part of life but guess what that's also a part of being a good friend i don't want to go to my friend's graduation party well guess what now she thinks you hate her because you're not there celebrating and uplifting her oh well it's not about me so i don't want to go this selfishness this narcissism this only me me me mindset is completely driving people to be alone in this life and it is very very unhealthy it is a very toxic mindset to get into of course I do think you know a little bit of selfishness does go a long way a little bit of prioritizing yourself does go a long way but you also have to be here for connection and be

here to connect and understand people within this lifetime and of course it's going to involve you having to put yourself out there or you know maybe make connections that you don't enjoy and have to cut them off or maybe you know a connection is dying out so you actually have to reach out for a change or maybe it's like having to be vulnerable for a change or doing something you don't like that's a part of just living fucking life and a lot of people don't understand that um life's not always going to be sunshine and butterflies and rainbows and everything that you want to do you're going to have to make compromises that's a part of connection that's part of living life and i think a lot of people nowadays don't want true connection they want

eyes on them they want to be the prize they want to be prioritized of course you should feel prioritized in your relationships but you also need to take the time to prioritize other people and prioritize their happiness and their success and uplift them through that um and i think people are not wanting to and that's creating a lot of loneliness and um that loneliness epidemic is very real and i think it simply stems from this narcissistic mindset so ways to combat it girl put yourself aside for a change okay go out to the restaurant you don't want to go to say yes to the thing you don't want to do oh they're going out late i don't like going out late cool just do it for a change you will have fun i promise you will make great connections i promise put yourself out

there have fun okay but yeah i'm tired of seeing this me me me me me okay enough of the me more of the we oh okay i saw people on tiktok the other day talking about their rice purity score i feel like once a year the whole like rice purity score comes back around and people start talking about it again um and i actually haven't done my rice purity score in probably since senior year of high school and honestly it was pretty low then but now i think i'm like actually at a zero so i'm this thursday for our patreon episode i'm gonna be doing uh my rice purity score live i'm gonna be going through every question and answering it honestly as honestly as possible um actually there's some weird shit on there i don't think i'm a zero but i might be at least like five or

under so if you want to hear what I've done if you want to know the tea if you want to know my rice purity score come join the patreon patreon.com smoke slash shawty and that will be up on Thursday so life is too boring right now about to start doing random shit for the plot for real honestly when people are like I don't know what to do with my life I don't I'm just I'm so bored I'm inside all the time girl get out there like go create some memories for yourself you know what I me like go take a risk go have fun go run around hot girl summer rule number one like just be outside do some shit for the plot not always gonna go well don't put yourself in dangerous situations ever ever the plot does not need that but like fuck it go take a class fuck it go try

out a new meal go hang out with that new person like literally if you find yourself inside 24 7 loneliness epidemic start doing some shit for the plot start doing some shit because you're like fuck it i'm bored why not life's short let's i'm just gonna say yes i'm gonna say yes and i'm gonna do it and i you probably will have a lot of fun if not you'll learn from it and it's a win-win my book living with a significant other how would you recommend splitting expenses i.e rent etc i feel like a lot of people are different um i'm a fan of doing it the same way you would with a roommate to be honest let's be fucking real um I do not want my boyfriend paying for my rent because when there's like a unequal exchange exchange of expenses I feel like it puts a

unhealthy power dynamic um in that relationship and maybe gives the person with more expenses or paying for more things a reason to be mean or to be uh rude to you or to overexert you in certain ways that are unhealthy or to overuse you in certain ways they're unhealthy um and i know this because i have been in a relationship where it was like this so in order to protect myself and to make sure that we're doing this healthily 50 50 50 50 all the fucking way um and that's like expense wise of course like if i'm going on a date with him like he's picking up the bill like he's taking me out on a date you know what i mean sometimes i'll plan the day and i'll take him out whatever but like if it comes to like rent and utilities things like that it's definitely

going to be 50 50 um like let's be real I don't want that um unhealthy power dynamic I don't want to feel like I owe somebody that's like my worst fear I hate feeling like I owe somebody um or I need to do something because I'm not fulfilling my part of the relationship so in order to make us both feel healthy financially it's 50 50 and that's just just like bills like groceries utilities I think he pays for wi-fi because he is on his computer more often things like that he picks up most of the dates that's just a part of our relationship that's about it if I'm like randomly in the car and I want to go get coffee and he drives me there I'll buy it you know but uh just to make our relationship healthy and keep that power dynamic um in a good place it's I think

50 50 is healthy and the people who are like he needs to pay for all your bills it's like cool fine but then it's just like I hate the feeling of like I owe this person and most of the people who are in those relationships they will feel that way of I owe them you know or they'll ask you to do something and maybe it's out of your comfort zone but oh they pay the bills so I should do this or I'm gonna put myself in a situation that's not good for me because I should because they're the top earner whatever it may be I hate that I hate that free yourself from men literally oh someone said I don't like my boyfriend's friends help you probably don't like the boyfriend either that was a little blunt apologies your friends are a direct you know reflection of

who you are as a person of course my friends do fucked up shit occasionally not all the time obviously and it's like that's not a representative representation of me not a representation of them either honestly we all just make mistakes every once in a while but like if they're constantly just like an awful person and your boyfriend's like I love them maybe it's because your boyfriend's an awful person too trust me trust me oh why is he hanging out with cheaters because he's cheating on you like me in the past not me doing that thing me experiencing that thing you being like why do you hang out with that man he cheats on his girlfriend because they're cheating together okay free yourself me and my man cannot stop fighting it's we've been dating for six months

and it feels impossible if you've been dating for six months and you can't stop fighting break up immediately break up you're not meant to be together if you can't communicate the basic of thing in a relationship and you're six months in and you're having this much trouble free yourself trust me i've been there and then i got stuck there for two years it doesn't get better how to lovingly tell your partner that they're being insane without triggering their ego say what you're complaining about is not based in reality and i only have conversations that are based in reality the feelings that you're inhibiting right now are feelings that are not based in reality so sorry you feel that way if you need me to help

you work through them fantastic but you're not communicating healthily to me and i'm not going to talk about things that are not based in reality so if you have a real issue that you want to bring up great fantastic other than that i'm gonna move on i'm gonna go to the other room i'm gonna go home. You know, very simple. What's the most important question to ask yourself while soul searching slash finding yourself? It's not about the question, it's about the things you do. When you're soul searching or trying to find yourself, no amount of questioning or answering or deep searching or looking inward is going to make you discover who you are. It is all about experience and trying new things and making mistakes. That's how you discover who you are. It's not through

thinking thinking thinking thinking you're never gonna be able to think your way into a better situation you have to do do do do okay get out there try new things go to a class go to a club oh go on that date oh it didn't work out whatever move on oh I didn't like this aspect about him great now I know and I will look for it in the future oh I didn't like this job cool whatever I quit now I'm gonna move on to a new job I'm gonna try it out getting to know yourself is all about trying new things putting yourself into new challenging situations learning about yourself through them if you fuck up who cares we all fuck up every once in a while apologize move on learn from the situation so then you're actually taking something from it and it's not just a bad situation

you could turn a bad situation into a good thing by learning a lesson from it so if you need to soul search or find yourself the best way to do so is to get the fuck out of the house go try new things meet new people experience experience good morning and i love you um my question is how do i tell my boyfriend that it's time to choose his own happiness without being insensitive to his struggles and his depression um i've just been noticing patterns of negative emotions and being comfortable in a negative mindset and i do know how it feels to be in that situation and it freaking sucks and he has lifted me out of that emotionally but i want to be the same for him it's just that he's the type of man to be like you know i think i got it like you know you don't

have to worry about me but i know inside that he does need help um so how do i be loving and encouraging and gentle but at the same time remind him that like you know you are in charge of the choices that you make in your life thank you and i love you i love you this is a very hard conversation to have with not only your partner but even a friend or anybody in your life where it's like you want them to do better and you want to see them grow and they just aren't they aren't making that choice for themselves what you said to me i think is a perfect thing to say to him um i don't think it will trigger his ego in any sort of way i think if you come to whoever needs help in your life as a concerned kind understanding individual they will be able to hear you out

do not come in an aggressive state do not come in like a high emotional state be like listen I am going to sit you down and talk to you because it's something that I'm worried about and my worry is coming from a place of I want you to be the best version of yourself and there's maybe some behaviors here that I'm concerned about and it's my duty as a good friend as a good partner as a good person to bring this up to you and to make sure I'm holding you accountable because I don't think you're holding yourself accountable maybe it's like I can't handle this emotional intake especially when it's so negative I need you to regulate so then we're able to regulate healthily in our relationship maybe it's um I need you to help yourself so then you're helping me do you

know what I mean when a lot of people have a hard time prioritizing themselves and uplifting themselves and taking accountability for their lives they're very used to that people-pleasing mindset so sometimes it's easier to kind of frame it in the when you help yourself you're helping everybody else you know what I mean like you helped me so so so much now it's your turn to help yourself and I'm gonna be here for you and I'm gonna stand by you and I will always be here for you in any sort of way that you possibly need but I can't be here for you if you can't even be here for yourself you know I think it's important to grow and change with your partner and be able to do so but if you're not growing or changing with each other and you feel like you're growing

in a distance from each other whether it's due to mental health reasons job reasons lack of motivation it's a vulnerable position to put yourself in but I do think it can completely strengthen and uplift a relationship if you're both able to see both sides and communicate honestly and effectively and you communicated honestly and effectively to me and it sounded very kind and compassionate and i think what you said to me is exactly what you need to say to him um it's a hard conversation but you'll get through it i believe in you someone says sister i need a vacation but i can't due to school slash work what do i do you got to create the vacation at home i have vacations like once a week from my fucking bed do you know what i mean i'm like no

i'm going to chill the fuck out today yesterday that was my kind of day i had to go into the morning and train but then i was like i just worked seven days in a row i need to chill the fuck out i need seven hours to myself where i'm not talking or interacting or doing anything and I'm simply just like choosing what I want to do whether it's eating good food watching tv scrolling on my phone doing a bubble bath a face mask whatever it was and I'll kind of feel bad because you know my mom texted me she's like hey we're doing family dinner tonight if you want to come and you know I should go blah blah blah but girl I need a vacation I need to chill the fuck out so it's okay to say no to things like that um if you need a day but like prioritize one day

to like have a vacation day where it's just i'm gonna do everything that i want to fucking do and no one's gonna get in my way and honor that celebrate yourself order your favorite food watch your favorite movie do a little bubble bath do a face mask whatever chills you the fuck out indulge a little bit smoke you know eat an edible hang out that's how you have an at-home vacation red slash green flags of guys on dating apps okay red there's not a lot of green flags but red flags if the conversation gets sexual quickly red flag if he's getting sexual on the app okay i get it like a very funny silly way like lol but if it's getting like weird girl red flag okay if it's also just getting sexual quickly on a dating app to begin with that man

is only there for sex move on okay he needs at least five pictures or more i need from different angles i need a full body shot i need a head shot i need pictures of you having fun green flag i need to know you have hobbies and interests that aren't just hobbies and interests that every other fucking guy has i need to know that you like have a life green flag i need to know you have friends green flag i need to know we have similar interests green flag good music taste green flag what else funny green flag not the typewriter response every other fucking man has green flag has a personality green flag okay hot green flag but yeah red flags getting sexual too quickly only there for sex boring ass personality that every other man fucking has surface level

interests can't really get too deep into it only talking about himself red flag red flag red flag red flag brings up his ex red flag i just got out of a relationship red flag only is going out to bars every single night red flag club promoter red flag that's all i gotta say that's literally that's all i can give you girls is it okay to lie about your body count yes yes but why the fuck are they asking you that in the first place man test text you and ask about your body count red flag why the fuck are you asking me that you little fucking freak i bet your body count is 10 times what mine is that's why you're overthinking it because your body count is in the hundreds so you're worried that mine is too you're projecting and i need you to get the fuck away

from me if a man ever asks for your body count he is not mature enough to be having sex with you simple as that questions that i actually think are green flags that are maybe alternatives to what's your body count um that's not just objectifying women and uplifting purity culture is when's the last time you've been tested are you sexually active with any other partners things like that very simple you know protecting yourself sexually healthily while not also demeaning the other person because yeah why the fuck are you asking me about my body count if someone asks you your body count you should just go ahead and say like a thousand because no answer you give them will be the right answer let me tell you that do you believe in date them till you hate

them love you I kind of do and that's just because I will give my all in a relationship I will always put myself into a relationship one thousand percent I'm not in a relationship for like shits and giggles of course kind of but also I'm there to be like a good partner to show up for you to like be a loving individual and I will in a relationship and maybe this is to my demise but I will always put myself into it a hundred percent I will try and try and try even if the other person isn't trying maybe I should realize this earlier rather than later um but I will always put myself into it and I think most women will we are willing to give ourselves and give and give and give until it is just reached a point where we cannot give any more and then we hate

them and then we just immediately fucking leave so I do believe in it and I have participated in it and I think that's just because I'm a dedicated person and I will give my all and try my best until quite frankly it's too fucking late until you've burned all all your bridges with me I will try my best though how can i welcome spring into my home and and self and get rid of the winter blues get into some planting get a new plant new pots um i just got a bunch of like i have this beautiful patio these railings and i just got a bunch of like planters so i'm gonna plant a bunch of like ivy and maybe sweet potato vines then they grow over my railing and it's all beautiful and gorgeous and that's really how i'm gonna honor spring um this time around just get my fingers

into some dirt do some planting um after my first shift at my new job there's actually a cute little plant store across the street so i was walking in my car and my god they drink on the job lots of restaurants drink on the job they don't tell you that drinking is a big culture in restaurants because we have to deal with people um and stress uh but i had a little mimosa after my shift they gave me a little mimosa chugged that walked across the street went to the plant store and i got myself like um i don't know what they call them i think pink pink ladies pink something plant so cute but i bought a new plant to kind of honor this new beginning and give myself a new activity something to repot and to honor and to water every single week the same way i honor myself

um but i think if you need to honor spring or something like that a get outside go to a park go on a walk b go buy some soil and a new plant and a pot go thrift a pot do some planting okay get into it it's a physical reminder that you are shifting gears to take care of yourself and to honor yourself and to uplift what is good for you and i think it's a great physical reminder of that hey this is a more serious topic question but i've been really struggling with kind of accepting that i'm gonna be living a whole life after living most of my 22 years thinking i was gonna die at 18 um so i was wondering if you had any insight on like how to really accept that i'm gonna be going through that you're gonna be going through trials and tribulations and like

hardship but all those things will eventually be worth it and like just really accepting that you have to live a whole life after you've been depressed and having suicidal ideation for a while thank you girl me too it's okay hard conversations are tough oddly enough I think we have an advantage hear me out okay I think most people live their lives with this ideal set up with this life set up for them they know what they want to do they go to high school they apply to colleges they know exactly what college they want to go to they know exactly what career they want to go into they do the they do the societal life path you know what i mean they haven't figured out they go they do it no trials no tribulations they just

stick to that path and they get it fucking done of course trials tribulations nothing good comes easy let's be real um but they know what they want they achieve it they follow that societal life path now me and you we were like no we're not meant to be here i'm just not gonna think about the future and then you find yourself in the position where it's like I didn't die at 18 now what the fuck do I do you know what I mean I mean thank god thank god you're here love you you're supposed to be here but now what the fuck do I do you feel kind of behind because all the people you know stuck to that life path they've achieved the things they're supposed to achieve and you feel kind of left behind in a sort of sense where it's like my life has been on pause

for so long because I've been struggling to figure out what's in here so I haven't been able to even think about what's out there and now I'm finally thinking about what's out there and it feels like my life is just beginning your life is just starting there is no such thing as being behind there is no such thing as having to catch up or not being on the life right life path every single person's life is going to look immensely different there's going to be different trials different tribulations different things they have to go through different struggles and our struggle was our mental health you got through it you survived you trusted in yourself you made it to the other fucking side and i'm so proud of you now i had to kind of look at it where it was like i'm kind of

like in a better position than all the other people who went on that societal life path because a i didn't want to take that path anyways b now i can do whatever the fuck i want you know like we've done the hard work internally we're building up that relationship now we're starting to look outwards we have the whole world open to us we can do literally anything we fucking want and we're crazy enough that we're willing to take that risk do you know what i mean the people who stick to the societal life path you know the high school college graduation job fantastic that's amazing I am not diminishing that whatsoever you are incredible you did that different life path that maybe me and you chose where it's like our life was on pause because we didn't see a future

for ourselves now it's like we're a little crazy enough that we can do anything we want we can achieve anything we want we're crazy enough that we've chosen this different life path that we're willing to take some more risks do you know what I mean so if you find yourself in this position where it's like holy shit now the whole world is open in front of me I didn't plan for this what do I do I know I talk about this a lot but just go out and try there's no such thing as failure there isn't you're not a failure for not staying on that societal life path and following through you're not a failure for not going to college or finishing college you're not a failure for not being a ceo by 22 you know what i mean there's no such thing as failure

there is only learning experiences and successes so get out there accomplish everything you want to desire figure out what you want to desire even if you don't know what you want to desire try new things they'll try new jobs fuck it make new friends move to a new area you know what I mean but there is this position where it's like holy shit I did not plan to survive but we did and now we can do anything we fucking want there is a blessing behind that and you have to take advantage of that blessing you do because you deserve it you deserve it okay you made it through that thing you got to the other fucking side you put in the hard work you dedicated time to yourself you healed yourself you showed up for yourself now you are deserving everything you possibly

want in this life you survived go after everything you want period and if you don't know what you want you got to start focusing on dreaming big thing about me especially when i was um in a darker place and there was no future for myself I didn't know how to dream and that's why I say the phrase dare to dream a lot I did not know what it was like to even look forward whatsoever I didn't know that was an option do you know what I mean so I really recommend if you don't know where to start dare to dream okay eclipse writing uh example I gave earlier where it was script writing and imagining yourself in five years and where you want to get and what that routine looks like and what your apartment looks like and how you're living and what your daily routine looks

like and what do you wear and what job do you have and where do you live like every single detail this is a great tool and a great skill to practice especially when you don't know how to dream for yourself to be able to establish a sense of future and have something to work forward towards you deserve the life you've always dreamed of but you got to start dreaming first okay before you take that first step actually this is this can be your first step is just owning that you're amazing and you're beautiful and you are a hard worker and you got through that thing so you can get through anything battling my mind and figuring out how to get into a good place was the hardest thing I've ever done it will probably be the hardest thing I've ever accomplished in my life

and to be able to accomplish it at such a young age is so incredibly inspiring and insane that I was able to work with myself and get myself to a good place again that if I was able to do that at fucking 16 17 18 imagine the fucking things I can do at 30 imagine the things I can do now okay if you can get through that hard thing you can accomplish whatever you want so dare to dream you are deserving of a healthy and wonderful and amazing future you are deserving of having dreams you are deserving of achieving them believe in that trust in yourself keep working on yourself keep working forward you've got this trust me i never thought i'd be sitting here ever in my entire life never I didn't imagine a life past 18 let's be real I didn't I didn't think I would

have a fucking podcast I didn't think I would have this beautiful amazing apartment I didn't think I would be in a loving relationship I didn't think I'd have a healthy relationship with my parents I didn't think I'd have a job that I actually enjoyed I didn't think I'd be a creative individual I didn't think for myself but once I finally got out of that and I sat down and I script wrote what I wanted to be and where I wanted to be and how I envisioned myself four years ago, I think back to that journal entry a lot because now I'm living that life. Now I am achieving everything I ever wanted to. And it is all due to the hard work I put in at 16, 17, 18 in order to rebuild that relationship with myself and rebuild that trust with myself

and prove to myself that life was worth living. Life is worth living. You are deserving of everything I love you so much keep trusting and believing in yourself if you ever need help reach out but I think you got this I think you're amazing and you're beautiful and you're wonderful and everything you ever dare to dream of will find its way towards you of course hard things will come but I have found that it was unfortunate to go through a very very hard thing at a young age but it is the hardest thing I've ever had to work through and I am so thankful to myself for putting that energy and that time into getting through that hard thing because now the little things that life throws at me I'm like oh piece of cake yeah a fucking truck hit my car whatever

I'm alive I'm here it's not as bad as having suicidal ideations so I'm good things will be okay this is way easier to work through than anything I had to go through in my past you got this stay strong dare to dream period reparenting yourself as an adult after experiencing trauma as a kid is hard exhausting but so worth it real no one ever talks about how like you kind of you have to parent yourself as an adult if you just let yourself do whatever you want constantly blah blah blah you're gonna have no direction at all like you do kind of have to be a parent for yourself and be like no no you cannot do that you cannot go out drinking for the fifth day in a row that is unhealthy you need to eat some greens you gotta eat your vegetables girl okay we gotta

shower you gotta go do laundry like you kind of have to nag yourself the same way your parents used to nag you because now they're not and if you don't parent yourself you're gonna have no direction um so you kind of have to build in that inner parent voice in your routine and in that self-dialogue that you might have in your head but building that relationship with yourself will be very healthy and it will create a lot of dedication for yourself a lot of trust in yourself a lot of belief in yourself simply because you're able to delegate tasks and complete them um delegate behaviors and stand by them um parent yourself and um kind of redirect your thought process in that sort of way so yeah being an adult is a lot of simply becoming a parent for yourself so it's

okay if you never had a good parent you can always become one for yourself and be the person you've always needed in your life don't worry you always got yourself someone said work commutes how to justify moving and giving myself a longer commute I love having a long work commute I remember back in the day where I had to go live with my grandparents and I had to drive an hour and a half to my job that was honestly one of my favorite routines I've ever had I would wake up before anybody else was out on the road I'd be out on there like 5 a.m I'd watch the sunrise as I drove I'd get an hour and a half to just listen to my favorite music or listen to my favorite podcasts or whatever it may be just have time to sit with myself enjoy time with myself kind of just have a

moment to myself where I wasn't getting that especially when I was going from living with my grandparents to then work where I'm interacting with people constantly it was my only alone time and I do miss it and honestly I think you might really enjoy it especially if you enjoy kind of long-form content and you maybe don't have a lot of alone time with yourself I love a long work commute now my work commute is 15 minutes or seven minutes and I feel like it's not long enough I'm like I just got in my car I need more car time I love having a like just time in my car time to be alone sometimes I'll get home and I'll just sit in my car for 30 minutes like no I need to sit here and decompress it gives you time to kind of break down those thoughts chill out before

you have to go inside and kind of get back into life so i think it'll be worth it especially if it's a job you really enjoy um i don't i really don't mind a long work commute what the hell does it mean when a guy likes your stories numerous times it means he's into you i don't know what else to say it does but he's also kind of a pussy for not being able to voice that or dm you and be like you're cute it's literally that simple that's how my boyfriend met me like it's literally that simple you can't be a consistent story liker because hello that just means you're a baby and you don't know how to talk to women you're too scared you're too afraid to say hi to me you're too afraid literally just be like you're cute that's exactly what my boyfriend said to me

and then we started hanging out and now we're dating we're like four years in isn't that sane isn't that fucking crazy four years god i've grown so much during this time too i think that's kind of it for the podcast you guys i know i know i'm so sorry i hope you've had fun with me though um thank you for all the love and support and showing up for me every week um this podcast just keeps growing and reaching new people and new audiences in ways that i never could have possibly imagined and i am so genuinely thankful for being able to make these connections and get to interact with you guys on a weekly basis and not even weekly like almost every single day especially on instagram i've been posting a lot there um so it's just been such a blessing and

i'm so thankful for all of you guys and genuinely you all deserve the best in this world you deserve every single thing that you have ever possibly dreamed of and i can sit up here on this podcast and talk about how you should do it or talk about how you should view things or you know how to maybe change that perspective and it might sound easy but it does take a lot of hard work and dedication but every ounce of hard work and dedication that you pour into yourself will be worth it tenfold I promise you if you are afraid to start do not be fearful of the future be fearful of not becoming what you want because if you believe in yourself and you trust in yourself and you put in the work and the dedication every day it'll be exhausting but it will be so

worth it having that relationship built within yourself and being able to stand by yourself and uplift yourself so take what I say but also implement it into your own life and uplift yourself consistently through that I like to sit here and verbalize that so then maybe you know of a good way to verbalize it to yourself and maybe you're able to repeat these things to yourself especially if you're not used to doing that I understand how hard it can be when you don't know where to start you don't know where to begin but sometimes it just takes one step in the right direction for your whole life to change and for you to become on a new path and really grow into who you're supposed to be and I know all of you will get there I know all of you will grow into

these beautiful people and these successful girlies and the baddest girlies out there and I'm so excited to see who you become but with that being said only you can make that change in your life eclipse vibes if you need to change if you need to let go it's okay it can be scary but the universe sees your dedication and your willingness to change as a positive thing and it will bring into your life so much goodness i promise you but with that being said if you want to see more from me follow me on instagram at hannah marlene i've been posting a lot of reels there a lot of posts really been getting a very creative on that and i love doing that thank you for all the kind replies and comments and support there um i'll be doing my rice purity score on patreon on thursday uh i'm

gonna post some eclipse information today i did some journal prompts yesterday um some affirmations as well but if you want more content uh long-form content as well follow the patreon join the club at patreon.com smoke says shawty and yeah be kind to yourself trust in yourself follow your intuition support and uplift yourself a thousand percent the universe will support you through every single hard decision hard choice you make and it will gift you the life you've always dreamed of but i love you have a fantastic fucking tuesday and i will see you all next week Mwah!