Smoke Sesh - stop hating yourself! sensitivity, insecure men, good sex & best munchies

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

happy Tuesday everyone and happy November, I hope you all had a wonderful Halloweekend we have a jam packed episode today honestly very much so honoring the best of scorpio season, we talk weekend activities and a wholesome halloween, 21st birthdays and money rituals, how to enjoy the seasons, honesty with doctors, raves, dancing, breaking up with someone, being hot, edibles, how to stop being your own worst hater, dealing with insecure men, insecurity and growing from it, being a highly sensitive person and what that means, releasing anger and how to do so in a healthy way, best munchies, listening to your gut, being cross faded, how to have good sex & break codependent habits, as well as persevering through all and funny tricks the universe likes to play on us. One of my favorite episodes so far and I hope you enjoy so as well!! Remember to submit all questions to Instagram @ hannahmarlene and I’ll see you all next week! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash, so come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning everybody, how the hell are we all doing? another day another smoke sesh slay are you guys ready because i am i am so excited to sit down and talk with you guys i got so many fucking questions that i'm so excited to go over i think

they're a little more juicy this week and that's shout out scorpio season all my little scorpio babies happy birthday i am dating a scorpio so i know you guys very very well don't be too hard on yourself this season open your heart up dare i say the world is not going to hurt you and if it does don't take it so personally um and remember to have fun and get a little crazy and get a little fiery as much as we are going to be emotional this season we're also going to be high energy very very exciting did you guys have a good halloween oh my god i feel like everybody was just out and about and living their best life this past weekend um in whatever form that may come in whether you were the type to go out party party have fun been there my halloween this year

was a little bit more wholesome which i very much so enjoyed i feel like i go through peaks and depressions of like party girl and then like wholesome stay-at-home mom but in reality i'm like 21 with no kids and the child is myself um so i'm very much so in the wholesome era era right now but that just means i'm gonna swing upward into a party girl era very very soon you gotta be patient with it you gotta let yourself grow naturally but it seems like everybody was out just having a fucking blast um i worked all weekend which was kind of fun i gotta see everybody's costumes which is always funky and fresh gotta nurse some people's hangovers which is funny um and then i dressed up if you guys didn't see a sailor moon oh my god literally

so fucking fun halloween was coming up this year and when it was coming up and when i was starting to think about it i was like okay i i feel like when i was younger i just loved it so much i love the fantasy of it all and being able to dress up as whatever you want and really like going all out like when i was younger my mom would sit down and hand sew these costumes for us and try and make them as realistic as possible like whatever we wanted um and so I was like you know what why don't I bring that magic back to life into my own world and I remember being young and like sitting down and playing all these dress-up games because there's nothing else to do I didn't play video games um but I did play hours upon hours of dress-up games um and I realized and I looked

around my closet and I was like I could be doing this like in real life like I could be living out my childhood fantasy of my dream closet and getting to dress up in whatever i want and express myself however the fuck i want because i have money now and i have a personal style which is very exciting so i was like let's lean into that and really my halloween just looked like getting really fucking high going into my closet setting up a nice little like photo shoot background dressing up fully with literal like 30 inch extensions i did the real ass fucking sailor moon ponytails or pigtails i wasn't about to use my own hair because i was like i gotta pull off this look thoroughly okay they matched my hair perfectly they were so fucking heavy though

so like shout out to all my cosplay girlies you put yourself through hell to put off these looks because i could only pull off this look for 30 minutes and i was like i'm done i'm ready for a nap um these pigtails were so heavy that i thought my scalp was going to be bleeding after i took them out because of the sheer weight and the um the bobby pins that i had to shove in them to make sure they weren't falling out um and then i made my boyfriend um oh my god my wi-fi just turned off anyways then my boyfriend takes some photos of me and then we had some as one might say some kinky sex and then i'm pretty sure we just had a fat meal and went to bed which was ideal for me last night i hung out with my family which was kind of nice i feel like

from the ages of 14 to now i just have not been with my family i've been like out party party get drunk i barely see my parents the next morning because i'm too hungover kind of vibes i was like you know what i want to indulge in the childish fun wholesomeness like why don't i go over there and there was nothing my parents love more than really digging into their russian roots so we made some vodka cocktails and had some potato soup i don't know why vodka and potatoes are just like high on our chain of priority um and then we handed out candy to all the cute little kids and i got to see all their cute costumes and it was adorable and i went to bed early and honestly pretty fucking ideal i can't lie um i'm sure a lot of you went out partied had fun i hope

you guys had a fucking blast i have so many memories of halloween's past and making those memories and being able to look back is on look back on is just so fun so if you guys had a blast i hope you guys had fun dressing up in all your costumes one girl tagged me and was like i dressed up as a fairy smoke mother for halloween literally this bitch was dressed in a hot pink dress with little fairy like headband and she had like three pink joints i was like this is fucking iconic i posted it on my instagram story if you guys didn't see but if you want to check out my halloween costume it's at hannah marlene a little sailor moon sleigh there but yeah i hope you guys had a great uh evening oh my god afternoon evening where am i before this i was outside my apartment and i

smoked a whole joint um so bear with me as my brain returns to normal it's been a good morning i chugged a whole cup of coffee i smoked a fat joint outside my apartment got some bad looks for my neighbors but whatever it's legal bitch you can't do nothing about it um so now i'm in the creative flow of things as you guys know the ultimate creative combo is just some stimulants of coffee and a fat joint and what can be better than that with that being said i guess we should jump into some questions so excited for this anyways it is the first of the month so this is your reminder to do your money ritual very important very simple you take your cinnamon you take your sea salt you take a coin place it in your left palm and you're gonna blow this into

your house yes into it while speaking abundance into your home the cinnamon represents uh abundance sea salt is going to protect you and your intentions the coin is a uh you know direct representation of what you are seeking abundance for and um the home the doorway the outside represents as like the outside spiritual world and the inside represents your inside spiritual world so that's why you blow the concoction into your home we're going to bring abundance into our home not outside the door i have done that once and you're like oh did anything change yes that is when i dropped 2200 on my car if you guys don't fucking remember remember holy shit among other things the trauma oh my god it was awful so yes blow that shit into your house

it does bring good luck i truly do believe that um but this has been your reminder first of the month very important um let's look at some of our questions okay let's see hannah it's my 21st birthday today happy fucking birthday i think their birthday was on halloween i feel like halloween is kind of the perfect day to have your birthday because half the time everybody's just having a party so you can kind of just show up anywhere and you know have the time of your fucking life you know what i mean my 21st birthday was a honestly best birthday to date um my friends came it was like uh kind of during the pandemic so i was like oh i can't go out and i can't party and that's lame and what do i do and my friends pulled through they showed up outside

my home literally at 10 a.m with a boom box and they were singing karaoke outside of my house um and then they took me on a scavenger hunt of all the different places that have traumatized me throughout the years these are like my friends of 21 years like we have been friends for fucking forever and it was so funny and then i each place that traumatized me i had to take a shot and i got to like 21 shots by two o'clock and so of course i just passed out and threw up and but it was like the afternoon like it wasn't even evening and i was supposed to go to a second party um that my co-workers were throwing in the park like a little social distance get together and at the time me and my boyfriend weren't dating but we were very enthralled in each other if you

if i'm putting it how i should be putting it we were very interested in each other that's for sure um so i was like i have to rally i had to pull myself together but keep in mind i had puked all over myself and I'd like throw up in my hair so my friends pulled me together and then I went down to the park and my boy or yeah my boyfriend bought brought a bunch of joints for us and someone had brought water balloons and we're throwing water balloons at each other and I was so blacked out that I woke up on my front porch at like 5 p.m anyways that definitely was my best birthday today so fun i think it's just all about doing what calls to you in the moment living your best life and also it's your birthday you can be embarrassing okay it's okay

to be embarrassing on your birthday when i woke up after my 21st i was like oh my god i can't survive this is i've done the worst you know what i mean like the anxiety is real after anything i'm sure some of you guys are also feeling that way after um this weekend if you've been binge drinking all weekend listen your anxiety is lying to you no one else remembers because guess what every single other person is also waking up feeling that way and overthinking what the fuck they did so honestly nobody's really paying attention to what you did and if you did do something fucking crazy and outlandish just apologize and move on and laugh about it your real friends are the ones who are going to be able to like laugh about it with you as long as you didn't do like horrible

awful evil shit you know what i mean everybody should be able to laugh at their mistakes and move on and continue having fun but yeah your anxiety it's usually always lying to you oh someone asked small things to do to make the holiday season feel more festive so during the pandemic i feel like during the holidays i just didn't indulge as much because it didn't like feel right and i realized i was just not giving myself enough time to just have fun and to enjoy it no matter what so i kind of fell off the ball of like enjoying holidays with this uh season i'm really trying to step into it so for like halloween go to dollar tree and get a bunch of cute little decorations okay i got a bunch of like psychic reading signs that i hung over my apartment

do like the traditional like fun little things like carving pumpkins dress up you're never too old to have fun and i feel like when i was younger i thought i was all mature and so i'd be like well i'm not gonna do this or i'm not gonna do this but in reality like that doing those things are what makes the time like more magical and more fun um so yeah your parents making you carve pumpkins and dressing up and taking photos like that is fun continue doing that ritual in your adulthood um when it comes to christmas everybody around me it like hit november 1st and they are jumping into christmas mode but everybody's hanging up lights everybody's hanging up wreaths you know what i mean i'm probably gonna hang up cute little like fairy lights in my apartment

just to kind of bring the vibes in you know i'm not super christian but i still want to bring the magic and kind of enjoy that a little bit there's little traditions that my family did um when i was younger that i'm probably going to indulge more in this season things like baking cooking specific holiday meals um dressing up whatever it is going to see lights going to a pumpkin patch make sure you're just actively participating in those because like as much as you're like oh that's stupid during the time of you doing it you're probably going to have a lot more fun and you're probably going to enjoy the seasonal aspect of things more and i think when it comes to seasonal depression we have so many fucking holidays in the winter so that we can survive

the winter so we have something to fucking look forward to you know what i mean and so i'm really just gonna try and look forward to the holidays and enjoying this time while we got it someone asked random but do you tell the doctor that you smoke um so when i was younger and if my mom was in the room no but also i would kind of like ask my mom to leave because i think it's very very important to be open and honest with your doctors if they're a doctor that's going to judge you and not give you adequate treatment because you quote unquote smoke or you do something else or whatever then they are not a good doctor go see someone else who's going to hear you out understand you fully and make adequate treatment dedicated to who you are okay all of my doctors have been very

chill but also i'm very chill with them and i'm very open and honest because if you're not open and honest then you really can't get to the bottom of what might be causing you issues so yeah i think there should be no reason that you shouldn't tell your doctor you smoke uh every time i have they've just been like okay and wrote it down on the chart and moved on they're not gonna like punish me you know what i mean um but yes be honest with your doctors and if they aren't listening to you find a new doctor hi hannah um much love um i've been listening to this podcast for a while and your last episode inspired me to call in. So I'm going to my second rave on New Year's. We're going to Decadence with my boyfriend and I'm really nervous. I've been to a rave before.

I went to Global but it was not a good situation. My body gave out on me and I didn't really get the chance to dance and have a good time and so I'm just really nervous I've never really danced before or just felt the music and let it take over my body and I'm just I just don't know what to do so if you could give me some advice that would be wonderful much love keep up the good work you're amazing and gorgeous oh my gosh okay love you oh my gosh I love you decadence decadence I've been very fun also I have a lot of trauma from that concert not because of anything that happened there I had so much fun there I was able to dance party have fun they have two stages they had like a um silent disco area they giant blow up mushrooms it was crazy awesome so much fun

just make sure people that you are hanging out with also have a priority of having a good time because if not they're gonna drag you the fuck down which is what happened to me um anyways raves i love raves so much because they are all about escaping your body okay and for the healthiest way of escaping your body i think it's through dance and you're like what do you mean how are you escaping your body when your body is in motion um when you just give in and you feel the music and you stop caring it is such a like fun high elevated fucking feeling of you just being able to be yourself openly and freely and that's what raves are all about because you are one person in a crowd of thousands and all of those people around you are not caring and also vibing okay

so there's no judgment from around you so why should you place that judgment within yourself you are a just a face in a crowd okay so embrace it embrace it like animosity not animosity oh my god what word am i thinking about just being anonymous you know what i mean all the people around you should be there to have a good time so i don't think you should stop yourself from having a good time and i think a lot of it stems from us just being in our heads i feel that sometimes like you know you get in your head you stop you're like why am i moving this way what am i doing when i get to that point i have to like physically snap myself out of it and i usually do it by just like redirecting myself so maybe it's redirecting myself to get like a hug from my

boyfriend or redirecting myself to turn and look at the girl next to me who's dancing and having a fun time and dance with her you know lose yourself with them um but the same way like a squirrel or like a dog kind of will pinpoint a squirrel that's what i do with my anxiety and then like a dog you have to just distract yourself okay pull yourself away from that squirrel because it will take over your brain and it's not a fun feeling to let your brain kind of get in the way of you having fun but listen you're just a person and a crowd and a crowd of people who are all trying to have a good time who are being goofy who are being silly so embrace that i think it's the perfect crowd and the perfect kind of music and everything and environment to really be able

to lose yourself in the music and just vibe and have a good time nothing you do is going to be weird or crazy or too silly um everybody around you is probably going to be acting the same way so just embrace it and have fun and listen to your true self but yeah decadence oh my god honestly very very fun um also love denver so much oh my god someone said how do i break up with someone without feeling like i'm killing them i that is a very valid fucking feeling um i have never like outwardly broken up with somebody i feel like the two relationships that i have we've kind of you know it's fallen off was very mutual as in like we just don't like each other like let's move on you know what i mean um but when it comes to breaking up with somebody

i've been broken up once and i think the most ideal way as someone who has had their heart broken um they're gonna feel like they're dying a little bit either way you're also probably gonna feel that way that's okay it's just a part of you know death cycles in our life and being able to be reborn a new move into a new chapter okay it's a natural feeling that's gonna happen but if it's you know meant to be don't let that scare you off you know what i mean of course their feelings are going to be hurt um but i think the best thing you can really do knowing that you know it might hurt them a little bit is just like be open and be honest um instead of like trying to push it away and trying to push their feelings away and be like it's me or whatever or lying to them to make them

feel better i say just don't be open be honest be direct um and then the best thing you can do for somebody who you know is going to be heartbroken is just to set hard boundaries um be like listen as much as it hurts like i think we're better separate um and then enforce a boundary of like you not dipping your toes back into that pond again because that person's been hurt and they don't deserve to get hurt again so i think you as a breakup e owe it to them to not reach out and to not try and reconnect and to really set that harsh kind of boundary because them as the person getting broken up with might reach back out because they you know it's probably very new and surprising to them but yeah it sucks to get broken up with it sucks to be the

person breaking up with someone I think the best thing you can do especially if you love this person and you just need I don't know whatever it is you need it's just not working out you do hold a lot of love for this person is to continue holding that love for them even during that time and understand and appreciate them but also be direct with your feelings and direct with what is going on okay we're breaking up i'm drawing a line in the sand i'm setting a boundary here um it's just not working but also you know i don't know if it's just like a mutual kind of like this isn't working just be nice and honest and answer their questions and then yeah don't reach back out someone said how to be hot on insta but still get accepted into a college well back in my

day we called it a spam account which is so funny because my spam account's name was smoke sesh um and it only lasted up until college until i realized guess what you can be hot on instagram and they will still accept you because if they don't accept you based on that that is discrimination um like you can you can you can be a person outside of your school work the same way you can be a person outside of your job as long as it's not during that nine to five as long as you're not posted up in the library with your ass out like they are not gonna judge you okay you can be a human being that's all right that's fine don't worry but if you are worried like i was i had a spam account um and then yeah the name transferred into my tiktok account which then

of spiraled into my podcast name which is extremely funny um love how far we've gotten here and it's all based on the ideal of you know what i just need a place to talk and be open and be direct and not really give a fuck um and i've continued doing that since but yeah i don't think they're gonna judge you um and if they do maybe that college is not for you i hate to be like that but honestly i haven't seen anybody get judged for anything like that um other than like people who are kind of prudes around them but no inherent punishment you can be hot and enjoy your life don't worry oh my god so i made these pumpkin muffins on my instagram story and then i posted like a vlog on the patreon of me making these pumpkin muffins and it calls for like a half cup

of oil which i was like you know you can also use canna oil or whatever you want and someone said i made the muffins and now i'm using your brownie recipe with coconut canna oil oh my god these muffins oh so good every fall i look forward to making them i made so many too i made like three dozen and they were all eaten up they're gone i couldn't imagine them with canna oil like you would have to eat a full one um but it the consequences would be faced it's just like the kind of food where it's like you can't just have like a corner of a brownie you know it's like this shit's actually good so be careful oh my god okay this is mood okay someone said i hate myself i'm my biggest critic i'm relentless and cruel big scorpio energy here don't worry been there felt

this yes every single person is going to be their own biggest critic i've said it once and i've said it before i'll say it fucking again where am i going with this i am my own worst hater straight up do you know why because nobody knows me quite like me do you know what i mean men will try and insult me and it's just like men insult anybody like they're insulting a man okay they talk about what is precious to them and they try and pretend that it's precious to you and try and insult you on it no man has ever been able to adequately insult me they're always like you slut you're ugly you're fat whatever which all of which is like who fucking cares other than the man you know what i mean like if anything you're just insulting yourself i don't care here women women

get a little bit closer because they understand the deep complexity complexities of each other they understand where that secret like hidden insecurity is we also i feel like share more with each other than anybody else so they're able to read you a little bit more but they don't quite dig as deep and nobody can hurt me as deep as i hurt myself because i feel like the biggest deepest insecurities that i do have are ones that only i know of because they're so obscure and so strange and you would have to spend thousands upon thousands of hours with me to understand what they truly are um and yeah it is a curse i feel this absolutely but also i had to realize when i was in my biggest hannah hater phase that no amount of me hating myself

was going to really get me anywhere i feel like at first it came from a tough love standpoint like oh if i give myself just a little bit of tough love i'll get here or i'll use it as motivation you know i'll hate myself into a better person which in reality it kind of works because i just get overwhelmed and exhausted of living in my own head because i am only hurting myself over and over that i ultimately become a good person because i realize this form of thought and this pattern of thinking really does not fucking help whatsoever and if anything i am not only living in a hellscape that is a reality but i am also living in my own complex saw-like dungeon that is my own fucking mind okay and if the real world around me is already hard enough i do not need to be that

person who is also creating complex traps of torture in my own head as well because that's adding extra pressure and stress that i simply don't fucking need whatsoever so yeah i feel like you just get tired of it at some point and you really sit down with yourself and you realize that this isn't working in whatever sick twisted way you want it to work and in fact reality is much harder when you're when you behave like this towards yourself and so you start to be a little bit kinder and a little bit nicer and i had to realize no i wasn't a coach for myself no i wasn't supposed to be that hard parent with myself i'm supposed to be my own friend because listen if we have one fucking life to live we got a hundred years here it's either short to you or it's

really fucking long either way if you were spending it connected with another person wouldn't you want that person to be kind and funny and nice and caring and always there for you and sure you have your ups and you have your downs but you always end up back together isn't that the ideal. Yeah. So let's get on that fucking path instead of having a demon surgically attached to your hip. You know what I mean? And I feel like it's really easy for me to fall back into that pattern of thinking and behaving because there is that part of me that's like, oh, it's just funny to be this way or oh, it's okay to, you know, hate on yourself a little bit. But in reality, it gets me fucking nowhere. And if anything, it just digs me deeper into a hole. So if there's

one thing i can really tell you to do today or any day is just to try to be kind to yourself okay treat yourself as a friend treat yourself how you would want your friends to treat you i feel like it gets you way further than anything else and you're listening to this and i feel like those who are deep in the hater hole are like hannah that doesn't fucking work i am never going to try that but it does it does coming from personal experience of hating myself for 21 years it absolutely fucking does okay and it feels so great to wake up and not hate yourself anymore because you put in the time you put in the effort you looked at yourself with all your flaws and instead of pushing yourself away you opened your arms and you embraced yourself that is going to

help you way more than anything else so i felt i feel this okay i feel this question on a deep very relatable level i am my biggest critic but also i am my biggest supporter and i always will be and i had to embrace that after yeah just spending so much time not even giving myself a little bit of a break when you do find yourself kind of oh my god sorry spiraling down a path of like that way of thinking and that way of behaving towards yourself i think like i said the same way with like anxiety and having to distract yourself i think distraction goes a very far way a yes you can sit down and think about it and deep dive into that feeling and really try and fix and mend it maybe bring it up with your therapist why you feel this way towards yourself what it stems from how

you can grow from it but also if they're just like surface level things that you're just like i can quickly just distract myself a little bit and move on from i think that's also a great way um depends on how deep your wounds are which trust me i have some deep ones i think therapy is a valid investment for absolutely everybody because sometimes you just can't do it on your own but I love you guys I get it it's hard being your own hater it is also hard being your own supporter but if you're gonna pick one battle you might as well have it be learning to love yourself and learning to be your own best friend yeah hi Hannah so I have a question lately my boyfriend has been accusing me of talking to men at parties and saying that when I get drunk I throw myself at

every guy in the room when I know that's not true and all my friends have said the same they're like what the fuck because I'm literally just sitting on his lap the whole time and if I'm dancing I want him to dance with me like I am obsessed with this man and he's you know keeps accusing me of these things and it's gotten to the point where it's like every day and i just want to know i've defended myself two three times but do i just keep saying what you know i think and what's actually true am i supposed to reassure him or do i just stop and allow him to think that and leave like i don't know what to do help okay so been there men will try and manipulate you however the fuck they can and the biggest thing they can manipulate you on is a sexuality based on be their insecurity

and when i was young i used to think oh i'm the problem me existing as a hot girl is the problem i'm just too hot and that's my issue as a woman being a woman no what the fuck oh my god i don't this man warped my fucking brain the real issue was he was insecure and trying to control me by putting me down over and over and over again so i think there's two things that could be happening here in your situation a he's projecting something he is projecting something very big here either he is you know accusing you of doing things that he is really doing um and he is kind of getting pissed at you and like putting you down as a way of like putting himself down because he's doing these things in private which is a big stretch here i don't know if you have any suspicions

um but b which i think might be what's happening here is he is extremely insecure and he's dating a baddie aka you and he has no idea how to deal with that and of course you're going to get attention and people are going to look at you and he views how other people see you as more important than how you view yourself um and no amount of you hiding yourself inside or not going to parties or um you know hiding your body or not dressing how you want is going to make him behave differently until he addresses that insecurity with himself which you explaining to him like hey i'm not doing these things i don't know what you're talking about i don't know why you're being mean to mean to me if you're saying that shit over and over and over again and he is

not listening listening to you then he is a failed case you should feel safe and comfortable and uplifted by your partner you should not feel put down or like there are hidden things that you are doing that you are not aware of that you need to change because guess what there are not things that you're doing that you need to change he's trying to manipulate you and put you down in order to feel good and no one deserves a partner who is putting themselves down or putting their partner down in order to feel good tell that man to handle his insecurity okay because you do not have time to fix a man period point blank oh i hate men like this i hate when they're like control yourself and you're like but i've only been with you what are you talking about oh my god it's so

fucking frustrating if i were you i would just run as fast as you can because there's a man out there who is going to treat you nicely and only use kind words with you and has probably healed his insecurity so you won't have to deal with a little man boy period okay next actually you know what i thought it out not next insecure men are a topic on its own because insecure men are hot girls worst fucking enemy because there is nothing more that an insecure man hates other than himself is a hot girl because they are the epitome of what they are not you own yourself you love yourself You uplift yourself. You love the way you are. You want to live life. You want to have fun. You want to enjoy the moment while you've got it. While they are the opposite. They loathe

themselves. They loathe everything around them. They hate the way you express yourself because they do not have the guts to fucking be themselves around other people. They hate everybody else around them and they shut themselves inside and they stew with all this deep hatred that they are just waiting to project onto everybody else fucking around them and it is so exhausting and miserable to deal with and if you find yourself encountering an insecure guy um red flags can be like him controlling what you are supposed to wear um him projecting wild insecurities onto you that you have no idea what the fuck they're talking about uh a man should never like scream and yell at you over a minor situation that means that his inside voice is

always screaming and yelling at him and he's just waiting to do it to somebody else um what else um if he's constantly playing the victim like he's not able to own up to something he did or apologize and be like yeah i'm insecure i'm so sorry um and he's not able to see himself as anything other than the like winner um if he's like controlling you and has like weird trust issues okay if he has to constantly like observe your location and know where the fuck you are and he's trying to control where you're going and who you're seeing huge red flags if he's constantly being critical of you i dated a man like this once and he would always be like what you want me to be honest right but he was saying the worst most fucking mean things that i could

possibly think of if they're getting jealous really easy there should be a level of trust built into your relationship and even if you guys don't know each other if you do not build that relationship based on trust it's not going to work out you have to listen to each other and hope and fucking pray that you're on the same page or have a conversation about it but there's no reason that he should just be like automatic thinking that you're going and sleeping with other people that's fucking crazy obviously you know you are only interested in him if he is also uh like an attention seeker like he fishes for compliments a lot like not in a way of like maybe seeking out other women's attention which is also a thing but also being like what you don't think i look good

or i look awful today like constantly putting himself down in order for you to kind of be like oh no you look great you know what i mean um what else oh um if he's like i feel like a lot of women and this is like part of love bombing is men will just like uplift you and here's a gift and here's flowers and here's this and here's this and as women we're like oh this is what men are supposed to be doing but a lot of this is usually like over like overbearing possessiveness um and them trying to possess you and claim you as fast as they fucking can um and they know that they can do that if they just say fake words obviously love is real i do love love it's very important you should build trust with people and it's okay to be spoiled and get flowers from people but all

these things are valid things that you should be looking for when it comes out to an insecure man because they will ruin your life they will especially if you're confident and comfortable in yourself they will absolutely pull you down to the depth of fucking hell that they call their reality and nobody deserves that they will literally drag you by the fucking neck to hell okay listen you're vibing you're living your best life on your own stick with that you do not need a man that is also a fucking leech a happiness leech to attach on to you now also with that being said i feel like there are a lot of insecure men out there and not all of them are the devil i just happened to date one in the past who was some men are also just like insecure because we

grow up in a patriarchy and with that not only women feel like they are not good enough but men also have a pressure and put on them as well and yes that's going to breed some insecurity we all have our own insecurities but these insecurities are things that you are you or the man should be able to identify understand and want to work on that is amazing it's okay to be insecure it's okay to have some reassurance needed but there is a different level of insecurity that some men are that if they do not want to help themselves and they are unable to see your perspective your point of view and hear you out and also are unable to apologize that i just don't think they're gonna grow out of especially not with your help if anything they just need a therapist

not a long-term relationship oh anyways yeah it's okay it's okay to be insecure i'm insecure that's all right can you work on it can you do better can we identify these things and be honest with their partners and be like, hey, I'm a little insecure about this. Could I have some reinsurance here? Yeah, that's awesome. That's wonderful. That's lovely. But you have to be willing to grow. And if you do not see that in a man, run, run my hot girls as far as far as you fucking can. Oh, someone asked how to be less sensitive, because it's the source of all my problems um i literally made tote bags with this saying on it um i'm sensitive and i'm dramatic um and that is just the core core part of me um that's just who i am i'm gonna be a little

sensitive to the world around me i'm gonna shed a tear every once in a while and i'm also a little bit dramatic okay i love the drama of it all i love the theatrics of life um but i used to be sensitive in the way that the world was like against me i was sensitive to everything someone could bring up that their dog died and i would just start sobbing you know what i mean i remember we were in florida and my brother like threw a fry at me in a restaurant and i had like a panic attack and had to go sob out on the street i was like 11 like i have been very sensitive and dramatic since the fucking beginning um and here's the thing i love my sensitive girlies i think we have a special and huge and wonderful heart that is so amazing and brilliant and the way that you

are touched by everything is a gift the way that you can feel the emotions and everything is a gift you being able to be in touch with life like that is wonderful and incredible and you shouldn't want to you know deplete that in any sort of a way because it's a gift and you don't want to be cold and shut off to the world there's nothing worse than that um i would rather be a little bit sensitive than be cold and unopened to the world around me that is no fun been there that's for sure oh my god my sign's falling um but when it comes to sensitivity there's a constructive sensitivity and there is a destructive sensitivity i used to be in my destructive sensitivity phase the world was against me and i was against the world and everything the world did to me was

horrible and awful or as wonderful and amazing and it was these high highs and these lows lows and everything was just too much the energy levels of everything was too much until I learned and I had to learn very quickly that sometimes it's not about you sometimes it literally is not about you okay it's okay to be sensitive it's okay to feel these emotions but sometimes you do not need to let them penetrate your soul so deeply because they have simply nothing to fucking do with you and i learned how to be sensitive in a constructive way as soon as i joined the service industry okay you cannot be a sensitive bitch there because that'll have you crying after your seven hour shift while trying to serve five tables at their tables like so what what can i get you to

drink today like that is just not a fun feeling whatsoever and half the time i was like that and it really just had nothing to do with me and it was not that deep and there was no reason i needed to take on such these heavy awful horrible emotions for something that had nothing to do with me okay once i and this is this was my breaking point this is what i knew it literally did it did not matter okay i was in the kitchen this girl had an allergy so i went to the kitchen i was like hey this bitch has an allergy do not make her food with this food and my chef was like great awesome okay i leave i get the food i take it to her table i go back into the kitchen after dropping off dropping it off like hey you know that was the allergy food right like you know you said this

was allergy food is this like come on let's do the math here and my chef freaked out on me was like if it's not on the fucking ticket that i'm not making it that way i was like pause we just had a two minute discussion prior to this that like he would make it correctly like what's going on and he just lost his shit and for me someone losing their shit on me i was like oh my god i'm horrible i'm awful i deserve to die you're right i'm gonna kill that girl that girl's gonna die from from her food they made it correctly he was just having a stressful day and so i went to the back and i started sobbing like i was just sobbing like i'm an awful person you're right i should have put it on the ticket it was horrible like why would I do that like just completely

overly sensitive taking it way too close to heart and my chef had to come back and he was like Hannah you're awesome you're amazing this has nothing to do with you I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled let's go keep working and I had to be like oh my god you're right you are so right sometimes there's just high energy high emotional things and that's gonna happen that's a part of life but the question is whether you're going to be sensitive to that and learn and grow and realize what you do need to take personally and what you don't need to take personally and then sometimes there's just times where you just lose it all so it's like let's not just lose our shit let's really evaluate the situations in front of us um i feel like when people are like

oh this is a highly sensitive person they just assume it's like being irrationally over emotional all the time which it can be but in reality you need to look at yourself as like very imaginative deeply aware of um just sub like subtle things uh you have a rich inner life uh your inner head space you are very connected to it you feel deeply for others you have a huge heart um yeah you're going to be easily overwhelmed but remember that just means you need more patient with patience with yourself you feel other people's discomfort you have that innate sense of being able to connect to people whether good or bad you're highly creative you're intuitive you're a great listener um you hurt easily but that just means you have a huge heart and you open yourself fully

and honestly to the world around you you can create wonderful things you're soulful and spirited and you're deeply moved by the arts like there's so much more to it that when you just step out of the oh my god i hate the world the world's against me i'm so sensitive to everything around me and it's so overly emotional and overwhelming all the time step out of that and step into what it actually is um when you just take control and you take understanding in who you are and what it is to be a sensitive person because honestly it's wonderful i feel the deepest of fucking love for people it is incredible yes it means i do feel the deepest heartbreak um when it does come to it but i would rather feel something than nothing at all um been there been to the numb state

that's literally the that's the line that got me admitted they're like so how are you feeling i was like bitch i don't feel anything and they're like all right we're gonna just we're gonna take you behind these doors here real quick and have a little seven day sleepover okay babes um it is so much more worth it to just feel everything and be open to the feelings and let them flow through you do not feel the feeling and then harbor it for seven days or for a month or for a year emotions are so fleeting and flowing let them flow through you like a run like a rushing river okay not only are they going to enter you but they also need to exit very very important and all of this just comes with practice be open with yourself be patient with yourself be honest with yourself

and yes continue being sensitive to the world around you you will see so much fucking beauty in things once you just learn to be open to those emotions and to let them run through you but yeah love my sensitive girlies definitely been there but once you stop looking at the world as an obstacle and more so as a playground things become a lot easier hey hannah love you and hope you're doing well and happy halloween it's the day before halloween and i'm so excited because tomorrow I'm gonna be dressing up as a goddess I have a really long like pretty dark green dress that I'm gonna wear um but anyways I've been struggling with um anger issues and I just wanted to see like if you what advice you had about it because I feel like I had a lot of anger pent up

towards my dad because he didn't treat me well at all and now that I've let go of most of that I I don't know how to deal with my anger when it gets to be like pretty overwhelming like I I've started to do the deep breathing techniques but I don't know what else works thank you okay i think this is a great question i also have inherited um deep anger issues that i received from my dad no he didn't like do anything he just passed it genetically to me but i do think i understand this um and when you are like an angry person or you find yourself feeling that way um a if you are feeling a certain way and there's another person involved and you are angry about something it is important to address it no you're not going to address it when you are angry um do

so when you are more calmed down after you've maybe taken some steps i'm going to speak about next um and then you can have like a productive conversation whether it's your roommate who ate your food or your friend who stole your sweater or whatever it is i think whenever you're angry it's not good to hold those emotions inside um it is important to release them okay and to let them once again like any emotion flow through you but if it's a bigger situation a more deep-rooted one one that's been happening for years one that you maybe can't address with the person whether they're not here anymore or you just simply do not want to bring that up with that person you've set harsh boundaries you do not want them in your life anymore um you still need to find a way

to adequately release them and do so healthily for me personally i had a lot of anger when i was younger um absolutely throughout my teen years and something that really really helped me was competitive sports um there was a it was just a healthy place that i could push my anger into um no I wasn't angry at the people I was playing against nor at myself nor at my teammates but it was a really healthy way to get out that excessive energy that you kind of build up inside while also using your mind to achieve a goal um very helpful I did soccer I did cross country I did track I did many different sports all of which I think definitely absolutely helped me and that physical aspect is key um maybe you're not in sports maybe you're a little bit older go for a run when i

would be pissed off in a teenager and like i don't have any practice i would just be like i'm going for a run i just need to go run i'm so angry i just need to go absolutely get rid of all of this pent up angry energy in me um before i just start punching things so let me just put my shoes on and run until i'm burned out so cathartic such a good feeling and great for those little waves of emotional kind of anger that fill you um another thing if it's like a long-term thing you're just pissed at this person um pissed at this thing something that maybe has a little bit more trauma involved i seek a therapist or a really good friend who is willing to sit down and listen to you for a long time or a amazing teddy bear you know anything something that you can look at and

speak to and just release okay i love therapists because it's okay to scream and yell as long as you're not screaming and yelling at them like aggressively like trying to harm them they don't give a fuck they want you there to release that energy to release those feelings and to be open and honest so if you can have a therapist if you can afford that if you can get into it i think it's really wonderful to bring that up with your therapist build some ways around you know how you can address that within your day-to-day life as well as how you can address that within your therapy sessions trust me they have tons of tips and tricks um but also cheap at home thing whenever you're home alone you know get something a picture a teddy bear a pillow propped up and just release

okay everything that's been stuck in your mind just speak it say your truth i get when you can't completely bring the peace or you can't have that aspect of you know making peace with yourself and being able to speak your truth because not all situations and people open themselves up to that but it doesn't mean that you don't deserve it and you don't deserve to speak your mind so literally like I'm a psychopath I will just talk out loud like I'm sure my neighbors are like what the fuck is this bitch doing in her apartment like who does she have over no one is speaking back to her it is literally me just having open conversations and releasing the flow of thought that I just don't need pent up inside my brain anymore um take a boxing class set up some pillows

and punch them get that energy out get that anger out but if you can actually like solve the issue if it's a very minimal thing bring it up okay you can find peace i guarantee the people who are around you um as long as they're good people are usually willing to kind of fix things and work together and you know make sure that everybody's emotions are in check and everybody's feeling good especially if they're good friends or good family or whatever it is it's a little bit deep-rooted more than that you just can't find like the the issue is more complex than just like a roommate eating your food or whatever um you know i think therapy is really good finding different ways of coping is really good implementing workouts a natural way to release oxytocin some of those

feel-good hormones very very important but yeah release i think it's all about release getting it out of your system uh you can't hold on to pent up anger because it's just going to consume you and you're going to start taking it out on the world around you which the world around you does not deserve to receive distracted anger from the real person who does deserve it so yeah very healthy ways to deal with it but i feel you i used to be a very very angry little girl um and yeah i've just put on my shoes and run and just run and run and run and run and then go home and take a hot bath and go to bed great way someone asked for munchie or stack or oh my god holy shit munchie or snack recommendations stat i got you i started my um my tiktok account actually

reviewing munchies reviewing my late night munchies whether it was dry croutons straight out of the bag or leftover three-day-old chipotle i was reviewing it or jelly wrapped up in a tortilla anything that i could find my ass would be eating when i was off of edible i don't know why edibles cue my like munchiness so much but i do think it's important when you grow up and when you're an adult responsible stoner is to make sure that you have munchies on hand okay it's gonna keep you from spending a shit ton of money on like door dashes and mcdonald's and uber eats and all the shit that you just don't need late at night um and also it's gonna make you feel more fulfilled because you can just get up and you can walk to your fridge and oh my god i have munchies

how wonderful um when i'm feeling a little fancy can't lie my favorite munchie is just sliced cheese some sliced cheese some crackers oh my god nothing better aldi has these incredible like assorted cracker packs and then instead of getting like the sliced cheese actual sliced cheese i get like just a block of cheese it's just an upgraded more fun meal than after school in like third grade i would come home and i would eat an entire sleeve of saltines and um like a whole package of like the the cheap the good cheap um like yellow cheese you know how it comes in the they're each like individually wrapped in the clear package oh my god and it tastes a little bit like plastic yeah a whole sleeve of saltines and that plus like csi that was my afternoon routine like all

of elementary school moving on so yeah adult fancy cheese charcuterie board whatever it is um cereal oh my god there is nothing better than cereal you get the crunch you get like i hate milk i cannot stand milk even since i was a baby i just was not drinking milk um i was not even breastfed so milk was not on my agenda but sugary milk hell yeah i can do that my i should have known my dad was a stoner earlier than i did because that man was eating like two bowls of cereal every night before bed um and it was always always always frosted flakes with fresh strawberries in it so dice up some strawberries throw it on the frosted flakes with some with some milk oh so good cinnamon toast crunch another winner um and what else i like like like cocoa pebbles and

whatever captain crunch but that shit tears my mouth up like there will be skin hanging off the top of my roof like the top of the roof of my mouth after i eat it so i can't eat that anymore um i'm frosted flake or cinnamon toast crunch girly and yeah fresh fruit and strawberry like strawberries or bananas or anything and cereal is a game changer come on now okay and then last is just like easy boxed things um a favorite combo is orange juice and cheez-its the aftertaste is gonna be really bad so you're gonna need to brush your mouth asap but together for some reason incredible if i'm going to a gas station i'm getting twins uh the twin snakes the trolley twin snakes one sour one sweet they're a little hard so they're like really gummy and fun to chew

on i'm not a huge chocolate fan so i don't usually go for that but i will go for something spicy in college it was spicy chex mix like the jalapeno cheddar chex mix um but also some takis or some hot cheetos are also a classic you know what i mean but yeah those are absolutely my go-to munchies and yes when you're in the grocery store and you see that thing and you're like oh that would be a perfect munchie buy it yes it's important to have two or three of those things in your fridge at all times just to avoid the uber eats fees that it's going to be late night trying to uber eats a fucking pizza to your apartment for 40 like not worth it it's not worth it. You're going to get the munchies. Make sure you're prepared. That is the real adult thing

to do. Hey Hannah, I just wanted to let you know like you really helped me stick to my standards and like know what I deserve in life and like what I deserve from someone else in a relationship because there was this guy I was talking to and I really liked him and he really liked me and we both agreed like we've never had a connection like this before. Then he tells me his ex hit him up and I was like what and then he wanted to be friends with his ex and I was like what and so then I told him like listen you can either like have an exclusive relationship with me or you can be friends with your ex but you like if we drop everything I don't even know if we can be friends and he chose his ex over me but at least I stuck to my standards because of you girl

love you yeah energy okay I love that I popped into your head and you're like what would Hannah do because like literally like if that happens it's like there is if we are heading towards an exclusive relationship there's no reason that the ex needs to be involved at all and if anything it's gonna be a huge speed bump so why go through it and like him picking his ex is not even like a loss for you because obviously it just means that there would have been more issues in the future and like cut that man out at two weeks rather than two years you know what i mean like when they show you your their true colors like take that shit to heart because when they mean it they really fucking mean it um but yeah i'm glad you could get that man out of your life

um i'm glad he showed you his true colors and you stuck to what you felt was necessary to your healing and to your life journey that is awesome and wonderful and i love hearing things like this i'm like yes i love that my advice is actually being taken i love that i'm just not like yelling into the void you know what i mean so fucking funny you know what since i'm sure most of you guys went hard this halloween someone asked can we do a confessional soon i have sins to get rid of you know what i'll bring church back next week before christmas you know everybody has to get rid of their sins the horrible awful shit they've done the things they're embarrassed of whatever it is i will open questions up to that for yes we'll do it next week okay so if

you have any and you're hearing this feel free to dm me them oh my god do not dm them to me i had some girl ask me this don't dm them to the smoke says shawty account dm them to my personal one at hannah marlene i don't look at the other account because literally i'm just on there to post memes and get off um it's just a funsy little account i have on the side to let you guys know when i have podcasts up but uh yeah we will get to church next week um i feel like you guys will have a lot of fun spicy things to talk about and you know what i have some of my own to add to it as well so yeah someone said girl i need details have you ever gotten crossed babes i've gotten crisscrossed applesauced I have gotten every combination of things you could possibly

imagine um for me personally best combo if you're going out is yeah just get a little crossed get a few drinks in you to chill you out if you're 21 plus you already know PSA just in case liability and then you know legal state girlies have a little joint you know afterwards it's a great way to socialize every time i pull out a joint like five people flock around me and we always just sit down and smoke and have the best conversations ever it's fantastic it's great but yeah also getting crossed is the best because it will offset the spins a little bit for me personally nicotine is a no-go when i'm drinking i don't know how people do it it gives me the worst fucking spins um when i'm starting it spins from alcohol yeah i just smoke a little

bit um also the next day after drinking i feel like the best way to nurse a hangover is to also just smoke a little bit numb the mind a little bit you know what i mean um but yeah i feel like every time i participate in drinking i am crossed which is technically alcohol and weed um but i've I've done alcohol, cocaine, no, not fun, not great, cocaine in general, not fun, not great, do not do, no, don't do that, okay, girlies, alcohol, molly, not great, molly's already dehydrating you, if anything, you just need water and molly, okay, you stick to one substance if it's a hard substance, what is it, candy flipping, I think, is molly and acid, which makes a lot of in my mind because they're very similar feelings i guess it would just elongate it but also don't

recommend because your mind your brain will probably be mush afterwards but yes crossfaded a cute little alcohol drink a cutesy little joint outside of the party best combo ever for me personally best combo because it means i'm not getting too crazy not getting too wild it's just a chill night for me at a party and then i get to go the fuck home and pass out um yeah i love getting crossfaded okay someone asked um illy love you too any tips on codependency and to increase sex drive on antidepressants so i think okay when it comes to codependency i'm a big codependent person or i used to be i'm trying to heal because i feel like when i was raised not intentionally i guess just what love came off across to me as um is it's supposed to be

one person okay it's not two people in love your relationship is one person in reality that's not true and if you do treat it as if you guys are one simultaneous person you're gonna get your heart broken you're gonna be disappointed you're gonna build anxious attachments which are just all not fun so i think step number one especially when you see yourself getting into a new relationship is still identifying that you are ideally two whole people okay who live a life outside of the relationship and will still be the same two whole people that you would be outside of the relationship but at the end of the day you can come together and you can see each other and you can spend time together ideally as two whole people not two halves of people that will not

work you need to be two whole people not one person that comes together oh i think that is the best way to kind of build and start building a healthy relationship also if you're no if you know you're a crazy fucking bitch like i do i'm like listen i'm crazy i'm insane that's fine that's okay i can't help the way i was born to be all right i'm gonna be a crazy fucking bitch to the day i die that's okay but i do need to warn and understand this and take necessary steps to stop myself from being a crazy bitch i do not have my significant other's location i don't because my crazy ass would be on that maps all day and if their little thing wouldn't show up in the direct spot that they're supposed to be i would have a fucking panic attack instead of

just building my relationship on trust and understanding and on knowing that if that person is going to go do some shady shit they're gonna go do it whether i have their location or not because they're a shady person nonetheless but if they are a good person the person you're supposed to be with a great partner they're not gonna do that shit okay so you just gotta build trust no level of quote-unquote control or trying to control the situation is going to help you that person is going to fuck up if they want to fuck up um ideally they're not going to fuck up so why be a crazy bitch and try and control the situation when you can just have trust in your partners that's the conversation i had to have with myself no locations i don't need locations

um and the best thing is also just having a open form of communication within your relationship like i said i should feel comfortable explaining that i'm a crazy psycho bitch and i cannot do this thing because i'm gonna be a crazy bitch you know what i mean um also being like hey this thing makes me insecure i thought i would let you know before we find ourselves into a fight or whatever it is or hey you know any hard conversation i think it should be a good relationship that's kind of not super codependent is built on trust on understanding and on a open healthy uh communication and also good sex good sex is important one of you girlies sent in i don't know if it was a question or whatever it was or an audio but you guys are like is it worth breaking

up if the sex is not good and ultimately i was like kind of yeah yeah it is if they can't learn if you're not having fun sex is an incredible way to sit down and connect with your partner and be able to escape the world and you should be able to have fun and feel comfortable and feel supported okay i feel like when i was younger the idea of sex that was portrayed in my head was a thing that you had to do does that make sense it was just a not like a requirement almost instead of something that's supposed to be fun and funky and fresh and you're supposed to enjoy it the same way you would enjoy doing any other any other hobby i thought it was just a requirement it's not a requirement and in fact you should have a partner that loves supports you understands you and is

able to have fun as well that girl who was like should i break up and i was like maybe you know if it's just not working maybe she said she broke up with him and life has never been better okay you deserve good sex now i understand there are some situations that are a little out of our control antidepressants are very important they're very important especially if you're trying to heal and move through your healing journey with depression been there definitely was on antidepressants all of high school which is why i had no sex drive or interest in um men and then my mom started wearing rainbow shirts around the house and she was like we'll support you and i was like no girl it's the antidepressants i just i don't want to fuck like i'm chilling trust me like

but also thank you for the support i love it queen love that she was just proactive about that um but i get it i know that feeling if you are not in the mood for sex that is okay that is okay i feel like once again we as women who are raised to like kind of believe that sex is something that you need to do something that you need to participate in we feel bad for being like i just don't want to have sex right now especially in a long-term relationship um i felt a lot of guilt about that for a while until i understood that it is way more important to listen to your body and understand what your body is saying if you're just not in the mood that is totally okay and know your partner shouldn't shut down or shut you out or take it personally or you know be mean

to you because of it that is all manipulation and horrible and awful they should hear you and listen to you and respect you and your body enough to be like cool all right we'll try again later uh how about you come to me whenever you're comfortable you know what i mean but also when it comes to antidepressants there's ways that you can just like spice it up okay lots and lots of foreplay straight up like all day kind of foreplay no not all day in your bed but like if you're like you know i didn't want to get a little freaky tonight the best way that you can really do it is just like build it up okay build up that energy i feel like men are like i can i can do like two minutes of energy building and i'm good like they're ready to nut women we like the long game

you know what i mean so start in the morning you know send a cute little fun flirty picture or like hey i can't wait to see you tonight um you know like fun little flirty things try and keep that going throughout the day when they finally come over you go over there um don't jump right into it um be touchy be handsy but don't dive in quite yet keep building that energy up when the clothes are coming off still do not jump in fully and when i mean jump in fully i mean like his dick does not need to be inside you right away like you guys can have a little bit of fun um maybe you guys go down on each other maybe you do a little 69 that's my favorite way of foreplaying um maybe you guys use some toys maybe you try out something new you got from the sex

store maybe you find some cute lingerie that you really like and it's gonna make you feel so sexy and confident in your body and you want to try that out that's a win for both of you okay but really amp the foreplay up get creative with it have fun find a partner that you can deep dive into your deepest fantasies with um but sex is not the most important thing that energy building um that like playfulness that like ritual you guys perform together is so fun now when it comes to the actual like sex like dick in vagina part um try a few different positions okay if your man comes early literally just be like switch positions before you know that he's about to do it like i guess it's called edging or whatever but like you can take little breaks if it's getting

too hot and heated and you don't want it to end yet you can take little breaks okay i don't mean like walk away from each other but yeah switch positions hey i want to try this position hey i want to move into this and the more you kind of practice the more you'll realize like your favorite positions and what are easy to switch into so like it's really easy to go from like 69ing to then you sitting like riding reverse cowgirl to then um doggy like him just getting up on his knees and then doggy very quick little combo um maybe you're on top and then you flip over then you're in missionary and then you flip over and you're on your stomach and then you're in the Kim K position uh it could be literally anything but try to do a few different things throughout

um to just like keep it going keep the energy high and then also I am a very big stickler on this but you should come before he does he should be taking care of you before he takes care of himself um i get it there's gonna be slip-ups he's gonna come to you fast whatever it is um but you should also feel like you're being taken care of um and if he's not making you you know like over and over and over and over again maybe there's a conversation you need to have maybe you need to give him some tips some tricks um or maybe he just doesn't get you and can't get you off which is also very sad but i think just build it up have fun remember this life is all about fun and playfulness and that includes sex too it is not something that you have to do or like an obligation

it's something that you get to do and you should have a lot of fun doing it if you're not in the mood it is absolutely a okay to say no listen to your body if you're not feeling it tell your partner they should be able to listen to you hear you and not judge you for that and if they are judging you for that they are not a good stable partner okay your body is your choice what you want to do with it is your choice when you're in the mood is your choice and as a willing participant your partner is a willing participant or whoever it is they should be able to hear those things and respect you and if they do not hear those things and respect you they're not going to respect you in any other form throughout the relationship so why waste time life is all about

having good sex eating good food and smoking good weed and no one can tell me any different hi Hannah my name is Madison and I love your podcast I've been listening to it basically since you began um I wanted to get your advice on how to kind of push through a really tough period of my life in general um in the last two weeks I've had my wallet stolen I've found out that my boyfriend of three years that I live with has been cheating on me and he's moving out in two weeks with the cat um so I'm gonna have to be paying the entire rent on our apartment in LA but uh I also recently had to quit my job because an older male co-worker was harassing me um also my vibrator exploded while i was using it so any advice would be great um i

feel like life is a joke right now oh my god the vibrator exploding one really got to me i would be terrified to use anything after that not that you should be scared but like i couldn't imagine um okay so yes i hear you and it does sound like a lot is fucking going on in your life um but when a lot is going on it doesn't necessarily mean that it's like going wrong does that do you know what i mean like sure you losing your job or having to quit your job because of a creepy man feels like a loss but in reality you never have to deal with that fucking creepy man again and now you don't have to work at a workplace that doesn't step up and protect you from creepy men and now you have more opportunities for better jobs um your ex okay i get it that

shit soul crushing find a fucking roommate okay you already had one basically roommate that was a man you find a different girly in la that seems cool that you know you can split split rent with um and also maybe looks like a good friend i'm sure you could build a budding wonderful friendship through finding a roommate um i feel like that has probably opened you up to so many different possibilities in that direction sounds like you might have a hot girl kind of winter when it comes to it um and guess what your ex showed you who they are you don't have to waste any more fucking years with them in fact they are packing their own things and getting out of your house okay and leaving forever thank god okay because people with those kinds of intentions um the cheating

intentions like i said they're gonna do it whether you control the situation or not but at least he's fucking getting out of your life at least you found out and it's not 12 years later and it's been going on and that man is leaving okay now you have new possibilities to true endless bountiful real love okay love that is unconditional love that is there for you all right there for your relationship uh vibrator there's new ones you can get new ones me personally i really recommend the ones that are like the suction ones bellisco i don't know how to say it bella b-e-l-l-a-s s-c-o i think that's the instagram handle they have like a suction one that is incredible 10 out of 10 recommend um you're gonna have the great greatest newest most wonderful sex of your

life now that you're single make friends hang out with friends but yeah the the universe has a really funny way of being like yeah you thought things were going good no no no no they're actually not so we got to redirect you and redirect you onto the right path and unfortunately sometimes that means you cutting ties with a lot of different people a lot of different things and a lot of places that you found comfort in um comfortability is going to get you stuck okay um unfortunately uncomfortability is going to keep you growing hardships things like that afterwards after i push through them and look back on the other side i realize holy shit i have grown so much i my life has taken a complete 360 but i'm so much more happier because guess what i stuck by myself and

I persevered and I followed through and I made sure that those hard times didn't get me down and I understood that yes hard times are going to come and go but the universe ultimately is going to put me on the right track and sometimes it means picking me up by my hair kicking and screaming because I refuse to see the situation around me and placing me boop plopping me into the right situation that I need to be in um it just sounds like your life has opened up a lot and you have so many new possibilities in front of you and i'm rooting for you and everybody's rooting for you and the universe is rooting for you and you really just have to trust that everything is always moving in the best possible direction for you and for yourself um but yeah i get it life does stack

up really fucking quickly and the universe loves to play sick jokes on us um but you'll persevere you'll get through it and at the end of the day you will be 10 times better stronger for it with that being said i am going to leave you guys with a little quote that i think will help us all get through whatever we're getting through right now and really find power in ourselves but it's from tumblr i know but every it says every woman 20 years older than you who you admire had to sit on the floor of her bathroom and wail more than once to get where she is these things will have to happen will happen and will be useful to you someday i had so much fun with you guys we got through so many different topics i love the topics this week kind of fucking flew through them next

week yes we'll have confessionals don't you worry i know you girlies need to get to church and the only safe church is the smoke sash church the only place you won't be judged trust me because i've probably done 10 times worse yep but i love you guys i hope you had a safe and wonderful halloween weekend um happy scorpio season remember it's the first it's the beginning of the week beginning or not beginning of the week beginning of the month do your money rituals set your intentions do some gratitude thank the universe and together we will persevere through the highs the lows the craziest points of our life trust me we'll get through it together um but i love you all please have a safe weekend please have a wonderful rest of your week and if you want to

catch up on anything that i'm doing anything like that you already know at hannah marlene is my instagram i also only accept your questions on that instagram you'll find a link in my bio to submit um the collins the wonderful collins that we get every single week thank you guys for sending those on in it's so fun to like hear your voice and actually get to like talk and sit down and chat with you guys give everybody an opportunity to but yeah oh and patreon if you want to join my patreon it's at a smoke sash hannah marlene either way um i post a lot of extra content and i have a lot of fun content planned for the month of november that i'm very very excited for so if you want some extras some little behind the scenes some little rituals some

updates some ask Hannah's some vlogs that will all be on there everything else will be on my Instagram and you already know where to find me and all your favorite podcast platforms um when it comes to this podcast but I love you have a wonderful fucking rest of your week and I will see you all on Tuesday