Smoke Sesh - strong women, broke boyfriends & winter survival guide

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of smoke sesh! so excited to be back with you all as I chat what I've been up to, my recent hobbies and outings, and we dive right into your questions such as how to choose, maintain, and keep hobbies and habits without dropping them, winter is coming and how im strategically breaking down my winter plan, planning, integrating, hibernation, and autopilot, plus how im staying sane in winter and planning for a better me, we also chat marriage, when is too early for marriage? when do I want to get married, nonchalant in relationships and is it good or bad, getting older and how alcohol effects your body, blacking out and hangovers in your mid 20's, what to look for when you need a good hook up and who makes the best partners, broke boyfriends, you love them when is it time to let them go, goal planning, and getting better, what makes a good person good and a bad person bad, being a respectful stoner, ultimate healing guide when you're sick, do I follow religion, periods and boyfriends, disrespect in relationships, not settling and what it takes to be a strong woman, the embodiment of feminine energy, looking up to older women, setting good examples, and much much more! if you want to see more from me- join the patreon! patreon.com/smokeseshshawtysee what im up to or submit your questions to instagram at hannahmarlenefor inquiries and questions reach out via email at hanahmarlene444 at gmaillove you sooooooo much MUAH!

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Get your tickets now for The Dog Stars. It's no surprise how fast civilization can disappear. Go! A therapist. Kill or be killed. Jacob Elordi.

There are people out there. They need our help. Josh Brolin. Shoot first and inquire afterwards. Margaret Qualley. Okay, tough guy. And Guy Pearce. Arm up!

The Dog Stars, directed by Ridley Scott. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you could call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello smoke sesh girlies gays theys everybody in between and welcome back to another

fun little sexy episode you guys i'm in my comfy cozy era i'm entering i'm about to enter my hibernation and grind era we'll talk a little bit more about that and some winter prep but i hope you're all doing fantastic today i feel like i'm serving you know that one picture of selena gomez like all wrapped up in her little blankie that's what i'm serving today comfy cozy casual now i apologize these last couple episodes have been a bit rambly so i am going to try and get as many questions done as possible because for this episode we had more questions than ever like usually i usually i get like a couple hundred this was like upwards of a thousand i don't know more people are finding this which welcome happy to have you not sure how you found us but listen

we are just so grateful to have you here and to have a little key with you so thanks for being here um but i'm like i gotta get to all of them i gotta get to as many as possible on the patreon episodes I get to like almost 50 questions an episode which is crazy so we're gonna attempt to do that here today live on air I hope you all had a wonderful week and are managing the best you can oh I don't know what's in the air actually I do know what's in the air and it's like the crazies the crazies are in the air and I am not trying to catch the crazies I'll tell you that I am trying to stay sane in my area, localized, chill in my space. Yesterday, me and my boyfriend went out to the country for a little bit, got all dressed up, cute little outfits. We got some lunch

together at our favorite Mediterranean spot, went out driving through the country, went to a winery, had some wine. They had all their Halloween decorations up. It was so spooky and fun. Oh my god i loved it i gotta take him to the stables that i do writing at which was really cool just to show him like where i'm going because i'm sure he's curious and yeah it was so nice i also have a writing today i have a writing lesson today which is very interesting i really appreciate being an adult and trying new things i think adults are too afraid to be new at things and it ruins us it ruins us i had this realization late at night off an edible when i saw this video on tiktok and have you guys seen this video uh it's like a dance performance you're like girl

no i haven't seen this fucking dance performance video listen listen it's this dance performance of these children and like half of them are bunnies and half of them are turtles but the way these children are activating all of their muscles to hop like bunnies across the stage rhythmatically it is so genuinely impressive and they look so nonchalant doing it that i had this realization i was like oh my god as children we were activating and using every single muscle we have very casually very casually just for like eight hours on a Tuesday we're like yes we are gonna do a full body core workout let's get into it like what that's crazy and I understand maybe when we're younger we have more energy we have more time like sure absolutely but I think the

spirit of ourselves die as adults when we refuse to participate in childlike activities or we We refuse to participate in our life in such a whole, well-rounded way. And I also had this realization when I started taking horseback riding lessons. Now, listen, I'm sure some of you are like, okay, vibe, I want to do that. And I'm sure some of you are like, girl, I don't care. I don't want to do horseback riding lessons. I think it's good to challenge yourself in some sort of way as an adult because it makes you use your brain and your body the same way you would

as a child again and it is so challenging it is so fulfilling it is so nice bitch i'm on lesson like i don't know five maybe six she's like all right we're gonna be like jumping today girl what the hell i can barely sit upright on this goddamn thing and i trust her endlessly and i know like she would not put me in any situation that she doesn't think i can handle so i'm just like you know what girl fuck it let's go for it you see I have guts you see I'm willing to try anything you see obviously I can activate the right muscles does it feel like I'm good at this no no it doesn't but like I trust you with my life let's do it fuck it like let's take on the challenge I get out of these like lessons my whole body is sore for days my brain is like excited and

thrilled and thinking about it like okay well next time I need to do this oh well next time I need to try this how can I approach it this way it is just so incredibly refreshing it is so refreshing and it really shows me that like dedication trying new things putting yourself out there it really does pay off unfortunately it really does pay off and we forget about it because we get so you know caught up in the whole adult world of things where we're like oh yeah you work sleep maybe hang out with friends you know just the motions of it all like i'm exhausted from work so i don't want to do anything but it's like do you want corporations to win over do you want that evil company that you work for to really like own you body and soul or is that just going to be part

of your day are you going to take your money and then get on with your life you know we got to approach it in a way where it's like these corporations are not just like stealing our time and energy like fucking Ariel losing her voice like literally soul getting ripped out of her body we need to start approaching our life in a more well-rounded way where it feels like we are active participants so yes please especially now more than ever we need to be challenging ourselves it really does just like oh it makes life so much better and I've definitely found a new appreciation and a new drive for life that I didn't have before so I'm thankful to myself for being like you know what I want to try that fuck it sign up for lessons go for it and listen I'd be lying if I

told you you know maybe lesson three or four I'm like I don't really want to go today but guess what I got up I went I did it I tried I keep going and the passion just keeps growing and growing and growing so it's nice because especially now at this time i'm like oh what are we gonna do next what are we gonna do next what hobby are we gonna pick up next i'm ready to start living for my hobbies living for my life and not living just to work eat sleep and go to bed also my fucking stomach is a rock right now thank you guys for all the love of my cooking video maybe that's where everybody came from but i posted like a um apple cheesecake bun recipe it's it's quite a labor of love but it's so delicious and so yummy if you want to give it a try it is up on my

instagram right now um but a lot of people really seem to enjoy it um and i've been i've been just so freaking busy lately i've been eating so much like processed foods and like no hate you know sometimes a girl's busy sometimes she's got to eat some chipotle some which chipotle is not even the worst maybe some taco bell ooh maybe some pizza maybe some like five guys but what really sent me over the edge is we were just like busy busy last night and didn't have time to really go get groceries or anything and we ate dave's hot chicken you guys i am currently paying the price i genuinely feel pregnant i ate it at least like nine hours ago but i i genuinely feel pregnant like right now because of the hot chicken sitting in my stomach you guys this food is gonna

kill us right now i'm like i get it i get it this shit's going to literally like tear my intestines up from the inside out i'm going to die from this processed food i need to make a change i need to eat like a baked chicken breast and some boiled broccoli like i'm begging i'm my body is begging me i'm like chug i'm on my eighth iced coffee just to try and get something moving because your girls go and throw it right now but listen the ibs girlies they'll get it they'll get it they'll understand oh but what a silly little time such a transitional era in my life transitional period fall always brings in those transitional vibes which are exciting maybe a little scary maybe a little spooky but it's gonna be a good time because I'm dedicated to having a good time

anyways enough of me rambling let's get into your guys's questions oh oh also I'm filming a decorate for Halloween video with me this week so for all the girlies who have been like Hannah please YouTube videos the YouTube videos don't worry they will be up this week hopefully by Sunday I should be able to edit and film by Sunday so stay tuned I guess this is a great one to start off with considering what we just talked about but someone asked how to start a new hobby habit etc for me I have had this problem where it's like okay I'm doing this thing I'm gonna do this thing I'm gonna do this thing I go to the thing I do it I do it once I maybe do it twice and then I just fall off and I never do it again it's happened with a lot of things in my

life whether it's like knitting I'm going to knit no I did not hand knit the sweater I wish I did it's very comfy I'm gonna knit okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna buy all the supplies I'm gonna get everything I'm gonna sit down I'm gonna knit for eight hours one night and then I'm just gonna stare at that pile of yarn for the next eight months like I have this really really bad habit of maybe it's like perfectionism where i'm like seeing all these videos or all these things where i'm like oh i want to do that i try it and it's not that way because obviously i'm a beginner it's not gonna be that way maybe it's like um i've done this with pilates before where it's like i love pilates i used to do pilates all the time you guys if you've been listening you remember my

pilates area era but my pilates studio was an hour and a half away i don't know why i did that to myself but it was so you know it started getting into winter snow started coming along i got out of routine i stopped going because it was just so far out of the way i couldn't make the dedication anymore to drive an hour and a half for pilates twice a week maybe it's like eating healthy okay like me and my fast food era recently i'm usually very good at eating healthy i'm usually very good at you know just cooking every night because i happen to be home and you know i'm buying groceries so i'm not gonna let them just go into the trash girl that's literally throwing away money so sit down cook myself dinner but then you know you get

busy busy busy oh my god I fell off the wagon all of a sudden I've eaten 12 taco bell grilled cheese burritos every single night like that's that's a problem sometimes you know you fall off the wagon sometimes it's hard to pick up a habit sometimes it's hard to stay consistent but there's one quote that really changed how I've started approaching my hobbies my passions my habits and it's that consistency is dedication to yourself and you know me if there's one thing i love it's myself that's for fucking sure so once i heard that i was like oh shit okay you know even when you don't want to come come home and cook dinner or eat that fucking chicken breast sometimes you got to do it because consistency is dedication to self sometimes you don't want

to go to that workout class after work because you're exhausted you're tired whatever it is consistency is dedication to self oh you know you don't want to continue that hobby because you're not as good as the 12 year long professional consistency is dedication to self it really changed my focus from detail oriented to big picture understanding and when it comes to hobbies or new things or habits you have to be focused on the big picture and not the details because chances are whenever you start something you're new duh hello this is a very new thing for you so it's going to be you know you're probably gonna be bad at it you're probably gonna be bad of it you're gonna make mistakes you're gonna fall off the wagon for a bit you're gonna forget

about it for a second you're gonna not want to do that thing that night it is what it is you're going to be bad at it so instead of focusing on the details of oh I just I really don't want to do this because I'm not used to it I'm really bad at this thing so I don't want to keep doing it no no no no no we focus on the big picture in a positive aspect where it's like okay maybe I'm not good today but in 10 years how will I feel in five years how will I feel in one year how will I feel in one month how will I feel big picture perspective where we're not focused on maybe the negatives that we want to be focused on because it's way easier for our brain to be focus on the negatives and we force ourselves to focus on the positives how is this going to affect

us in the long run what positive aspects is it going to bring into our life in the long run because that's truly why we're setting these habits why we're setting these hobbies why we're trying to pick up these new kind of ways of doing things is so we do have a better future for ourselves that's what we're doing it so we need to focus on why the big picture why and the positive outcomes it's gonna have in our life it's like listen yes i get up on that horse and i my lesson partners are 12 year old girls i'm not even kidding who are born with horses these are their horses that their parents bought them they're on them they've been practically born on the back of a horse they're so used to it and i'm there like gripping on like it's silly if i wanted to

discourage myself guess what i'd focus on the little things oh my god i'm so bad oh my god i didn't start early enough so I can't do it you know like these girls are running laps around me I'm so bad at control and just like utilizing my muscles guess what yeah if I keep telling myself those things and if you keep focusing on those things I'm probably not going to go back yeah it's it's fact of the matter I'm probably not going to go back because I am hyper fixated on the negative but when we understand that consistency is dedication to self we're able to focus on the bigger picture and I'm able to see oh my god in the future maybe one day I'll be able to have my own horses and be able to take care of them fully and not have to like think

about what I'm doing and really just be able to approach this as a second nature but that's not going to come in those initial steps it's going to come in the long run so saying dedicated to who I am now dedicated to the process I will eventually be able to be that person that I want to be maybe it's working out oh my gosh and trust me horseback riding lessons i'm up there everything's jiggling i have no muscle control i'm like i need to get in the gym that's another big goal of mine that i'm setting for myself okay well yeah that first 30 minutes on that treadmill are gonna feel like hell on earth but if i keep focusing on the pain and how much this hurts and how much i hate this and the sweat and all the negative little things instead of the big picture i'm more likely

to quit okay because the big picture idea is well eventually i'm going to be fit and tone and strong and i'm going to feel good about my it's all about perspective and consistency doing it no matter what doing it no matter what oh you want to give up cool guess what giving up that's putting yourself aside do you really want to put yourself aside here you got to make room you know sometimes we get sick bitch i don't want you on the treadmill with covid i understand maybe you need to just like every once in a while eat out it is what it is sometimes you gotta just like make room for you know the unexpected but in the long run i would say like 80 of the time you've got to stay committed to yourself which is staying committed to those habits to those hobbies now this is a

great time to bring up my biggest plan for the winter can we talk about winter prep let's talk about some winter prep and how I am going to survive the winter if you're sitting here and you're looking around you're like holy shit there's leaves everywhere the leaves are orange what's happening things are moving too quickly for me oh my god winter's coming I'm a little scared I'm a little nervous what the fuck do I do because of the snow the cold oh my god I I'm scared I'm scared Anna help that's how I feel when I feel winter coming I saw this video and I want to give this creator content because or not content this content creator her dues because she wrote it out perfectly and i saw it and i was like done i'm following this to a t but you need to plan your

winter and this is uh done by gabrielle coffee c-o-f-f-y um but she talks about how we are going to plan our winter so we come out on the other side completely transformed and pretty much a complete new person as well as giving us ways to stay consistent through the winter so we stay sane. So in this plan there are four phases. Four phases to how we are going to approach winter now today the day you are listening to this until daylight savings which is november second that's roughly like 35 days or something okay this is going to be our pre-winter planning okay this is the time when we're sitting here we're wondering we're going who do we want to be what habits do we want to pick up we are idea planning we are mood boarding we are what is it

idea bubbling you remember those from like school where you had to just like bubble off ideas from one single word we are planning who do we want to be what's the kind of person we want to come out as not in winter but in the spring we are looking at the spring okay like march april who do we want to be then what habits do we want to embody who do we want to be what hobbies what do we look like what are we doing we are game planning right now don't worry you don't have to pick up anything right now you don't have to hit the gym this week we have until now till December 2nd which is about 35 days about one month to plan our routine to get a really really good solid daily routine down to have a really hard understanding of the hobbies you want to pick up how we're going to integrate

that into our week we are planning by the end of this I want you to have everything written down and I've already started doing this I'll show you how I kind of started planning I literally have this written down my phone focus where it's like okay morning afternoon evening and then weekly goals so what does my morning look like hydrate caffeine stretch respond to emails vitamins actually get ready for the day you know work eating a healthy lunch working out every single day hobbies at least twice a week shower you know also she really talks about where are we getting our dopamine from we need to plan something that we're getting our dopamine from because in the winter we are very dopamine deficient and this is when we start picking up bad habits because

we need that extra hit of dopamine in the winter people start drinking more because you know it's so cold outside we need dopamine hit okay whatever we're drinking we're maybe smoking more we're doing negative things just to kind of supplement what is where is where you're going to get your positive dopamine okay for me personally unfortunately working out does give me dopamine a bubble bath that gives me dopamine um hobbies that gives me dopamine dancing drawing painting playing music social interactions red light therapy girl a facial i don't know yoga creative expression meditation time in nature i whatever it is you need to also make a dopamine list so when you're in the middle of winter and you start breaking down a little bit you know what your

dopamine factors are you know how to implement them in your week so when you do get exhausted and tired and burnt out you can replenish resource in a healthy way and then also planning like your weekly goals okay so like when do you go to work when are you doing this when is your like weekly hangout session when is your weekly like night to yourself when are you doing those hobbies have it planned out we have one month okay take your time one month is a long time this is like no rush no stress one month is a long time november 2nd is when we begin phase two phase two is your hibernation routine integration and this goes from daylight savings november 2 until the winter solstice which is december 21st this gives us roughly like 50 days a month and a half where

we are completely and utterly focused on just getting into routine this is going to be the hard part of it okay this is when we're like okay we are putting plan into action we are taking all those ideas and this perfectly you know well-rounded idea and plan and routine and we are putting into action every single day we are waking up we are doing that routine we are taking those vitamins we are going to the gym we are getting our healthy dopamine we are doing what we need to do this is the integration time and it's going to probably be the hardest time because it's when we are making the biggest change but it is a perfect time to do so because once the winter solstice starts we then enter autopilot all of that hard work that you have done all of that time that you have put

in and dedication to that routine where your brain is now just like oh i know what to expect i know my routine it's easy i wake up i know exactly what to do there's no pressure there's no like hardships and getting this done because we've taken that time to really integrate it we go into autopilot autopilot is from the winter solstice until daylight savings now this is the longest phase but dare i say it's the easiest because we are just in you know day-to-day life mode but we have such a good routine set up that it should be easy for us it's a great way to manage our needs and emotions and desires throughout winter where we feel like we're getting good a good amount done we feel like we are getting you know in touch with ourselves in touch with

our hobbies in touch with our body in touch with our spirituality in touch with our mind you're just riding it out it's easy we're just riding winter out this is going to be i think 77 days so it's about two-ish months and then guess what phase four we are now at daylight savings March 8th till March 21st which is the spring equinox it's the home stretch boom we're done all of a sudden it's springtime all of a sudden you've been dedicated to yourself for four months all your hard work pays off you're in a good routine that idealized version that you have for your spring self is here she's here you've done it bam done winter's over we're out of there we're able to blossom like the flowers and enter spring and summer as a new well-rounded individual

that dream idealized version of us i love the way she broke it down because it made everything make sense sometimes when it's like oh fuck winter's coming i don't know what to do i freeze up literally i freeze up and i just become a inside person who doesn't leave their house and lays on the couch all day and I'm always miserable always always always always miserable so I love the way she broke this down where it's like you don't have to start today we have one month okay plan it plan it all out and then once you have everything planned out we have about a month and a half where you put dedication to yourself can you dedicate a month and a half to yourself the grand scheme of things bitch how many months do we live in this lifetime can you dedicate a month

and a half to yourself to getting into this routine that you really really want guess what you do that month and a half all of a sudden autopilot all of winter we have those hobbies we have those routines we have those dopamine hits we're feeling good we're feeling refreshed we're just riding winter out and then all of a sudden bam it's spring you are who you are you've achieved those goals you feel confident in those hobbies because you've been doing them for so long everything is easy peasy lemon squeezy and you are able to enter spring and summer just so well rounded and so beautiful and grown and amazing this is when we're putting our roots down into the earth and we are balancing ourself we are solidifying ourself so that in the spring we

have time to blossom and bloom but this is my winter plan and this is how i'll be approaching it so i'll take you guys with me maybe i can make this a youtube series i'm not really sure but i figured this is something that i was very inspired by so of course i wanted to share with you guys if you are also freaking out like me like oh my god winter is coming i don't know what to do guess what now i have the plan all you got to do is put plan to action babe all right let's get into the rest of our questions what's your opinion on marriage and getting married at 24 to 25 you guys i had a mental breakdown the other day because why was i a little wine drunk and i went to the bathroom i'm peeing blah blah blah and i'm scrolling on instagram i'm not even fucking

kidding at least nine i'm not even getting nine posts back to back to back to back to back marriage proposal proposal marriage marriage proposal birth baby oh my god what the helly what is going on and it made me spiral because i'm like i am living a very different life than these people oh my god you are engaged i'm wine drunk at 3 p.m what is going on oh my god you're having a baby i'm wine drunk in the bathroom at 3 p.m i started like spiraling and that's what sucks about social media is because the comparison of it all like in reality where i am very happy very content like congratulations for them but you hit this mid-20s point where everybody's on very different paths like there is no conventional path for adulthood i mean i guess there is but everybody is all

always on very different paths and when you see those very different paths you always ask yourself like should I be there am I missing out on something because I'm not there the answer is no like however you live your life is dictated by you and you should live a life that you feel proud of but best believe I was spiraling in that bathroom absolutely I'm not against marriage in your mid-20s I'm not against marriage I guess I am against marriage but like mid-20s whatever if you've been together for like five plus years by your mid-20s like you know what go for it I can't blame you you know I've seen very successful marriages come out of it but is there maybe a divorce in the future who knows you're very young you change I feel like the best time to get married

is probably in your 30s like 30 plus I feel like I'm still growing and changing and developing and i know at 30 i am going to be a very fucking different person than who i am now thus i'm like i'm in no rush truly like i i do not care i know everybody else around me is like where's the ring where's the ring girl i don't care like i'm here vibing i'm still learning who i am i feel like a toddler on training wheels still like i can't even focus on marriage if other people are more stable and feel more comfortable fantastic go for it 25 plus i think it's a safe range for for marriage as long as you've been with that person for some time for quite a bit of time early 20s hell no hell no do not put a ring on your finger if you're 20 21 22 23 that's early

as hell I think about my parents they were married at 22 what the hell that's crazy that's like a child ride what are we talking about here that's so normalized when they were younger and like props to them for being able to grow together because oh my god that's amazing but nowadays I don't think we have that anymore I don't think that happens anymore and it's probably for the better because like yes we should be allotted time to develop as individuals before we feel inclined or a societal pressure to get married but personally I am pro waiting I am pro waiting I've never been the girl who's like I'm living for marriage you know I feel like I celebrate myself enough in this life that I don't need like a baby or marriage to feel celebrated by the people

that love me I feel like I provide that enough for myself that it's not like I need this in my life but it's something that yeah it's something that I do want in the future and I would love to get married I would love to have a bomb ass wedding dress probably just for the photos if I'm being honest like no one even needs to be invited I would be happy eloping but it's something that I do definitely do want to do in the future is something I'm ready for right now no is it something I think you know maybe people my age are ready for yeah sure definitely but if you're younger than 25 err on the side of caution there's no reason you need to be getting married under 25 like just just wait it out just wait it out nonchalance allows patience and growth in a

relationship and skater boys thoughts on these whoa did a skater boy tell you that because he just told you to his face he doesn't care and he's making excuses for it listen am i pro dating skater boys no not at all i love my boyfriend down and he has a very sweet kind heart but skater boys these are players like my top five players in the world skaters musicians cowboys DJs I think DJs are very separate than musicians but maybe under the same umbrella and anybody that works in a restaurant these are my top five players and I guess like skaters and also like anybody who plays a sport professionally and listen I've been around a lot of skater boys they can be lover boys abso-fucking-lutely but you will know when they're interested in you

a lot of skater boys play the nonchalant card because they don't care they want to be at the skate park they want to be with their boys they want to be drinking and smoking at the skate park and if they're willing to give that up for you they like you a lot but if you keep finding yourself like oh my god you know he's constantly at the skate park or not messaging me it's because that's their top priority djs djing is top priority cowboys i don't know cows are top priority skaters skateboarding is top priority line cooks bartenders that place is top priority if they're able to put you above that then i think you know you will be able to understand that they like you but nonchalance should never be something that you expect in your relationship

nonchalance kills relationships because what do you mean oh you're nonchalant about me what the fuck does that mean hello I need you to shallot it up like let's be real I need to be top priority I need you to actually care about me and think about me and want me in your life nonchalance does not allow patience and growth in a relationship nonchalance is I'll get to you when I get to you yeah I'll hit you up when I hit you up that is not patience that's putting you on the back burner that is not growth that's making that's them kind of like manipulate manipulating you into forcing you to wait or forcing you to care more do not fall for that i'm scared of a skater boy told you that because girl that is some crazy manipulation and i need you to leave his ass

in the dirt where it belongs but like i said am i pro you dating a skater boy no like i said they'd messing around they really do and the skate park is priority number one most of the time if they're able to put you above the skate park that's when you know that's when you know you got them nonchalance allows patience no it does not it's uh nonchalance is evil especially in a relationship like i need you to be on your hands and knees outside my house with a boom box that's not nonchalant but that's what i want how many times have you blacked out oh girl i don't ask me that would you ask me that more times than I can count on any of my appendages genuinely I don't know like my brain right now is even having a hard time recollecting I am a reformed party girl

not even reformed I still go out and about every once in a while but yeah no honestly at this point too they don't tell you the older you get will a the worst the hangovers get like when I was 21 I'd be like I don't experience hangovers and like she was right she did not experience hangovers I drink drink drink drink drink leftover chipotle wake up be completely fine like genuinely completely fine as long as I got eight hours I was good I could have been like the most dehydrated bitch on the world it doesn't matter I was totally fine then I hit like 24 24 25 you're like oh actually i'm waking up with a massive headache after two glasses of wine what i was taking 12 shots and waking up fine two glasses of wine and i'm waking up with a headache yeah girl i don't

know what it is about the way your body changes in your mid-20s the hangovers they do get out of control as well as i don't think anybody tells you this but when you hit your mid-20s the hangovers get out of control and you also black out easier like when I was younger I feel like I could handle my alcohol better but now that I'm in my mid-20s like maybe in the past like 12 shots I'm blacking out well duh but now it's like four or five and I'm getting to the point where I'm like I mean not like massively blacked out but enough that I'm like we gotta go home you know so please as not me like as an old lady let me tell you guys about how your body changes but like literally I don't know I black out easier my hangovers are way worse I can't metabolize alcohol the way I

used to thus like the uh like appeal of drinking has like very much so worn off on me and that does naturally happen in your 20s I find that people either like realize oh drinking it's like not the same effects as when I was younger like I'm over it or they're like I need to drink more now which is crazy and I do not need to be that person but yeah babe I don't know I blacked out way way too many times more times than I even could even think about imagining how to spot a man who can fuck versus one who maybe can't oh if you are at the bars and you're like okay I need a good ass hookup I need a good ass hookup right here right now how do I look around this bar and find the man not even with the biggest schlong but the one who can lay it down the best it's not the

man let me break it to you it is not the man in your fucking ear like hey babe how you doing I would love to take you home please please please that's a beggar that's a beggar because he knows he can't throw down so he has to like convince and use his words and please please please please please it's not the guy who won't leave you alone it's not the guy in your ear like you're so beautiful babe let me buy you 18 shots please come home with me please please please please it's not him i'll break it to you you're gonna go home with him you are gonna be massively disappointed and you will realize why he has to go around begging dare i say it's always the quiet ones it's always the quiet ones okay and maybe eventually you'll spark up a conversation and

you'll feel that chemistry fantastic but it is always the ones who it's like okay little eye contact okay you know i see you from across the room maybe they'll eventually come up to you maybe you go up to them either way you know that tension slowly builds you spot them they're kind of chilling maybe with their friends they're not like going around girl to girl to girl to girl to girl they're very much so on their own vibe they're quiet they're curating their vibe in the corner those are the men who can throw down because they're not having to go around and beg and do whatever they know in the bedroom they're gonna have a good time their partner's gonna have a good time if they want to hook up if they find a good person then sure they'll go home together

but they don't need to go around begging for pussy they don't need to go and buy a woman five drinks to sleep with them they don't need to go to a million women in the bar to find just one that'll go home with them they're quiet they're in their own lane they're doing their own thing they're probably hanging out with their boys they're not really you know prioritized with the women if one comes along they really like sure they'll spark up a conversation fantastic but it's the quiet ones i know i know it really is and here's the thing you know eventually you may spark up a conversation you know maybe he you what you see him go over to the bar walk up next to him hey what are you drinking oh my gosh great fantastic have you been here before oh my gosh

wow i can't believe i've seen you here before like whatever you spark up a conversation if it naturally flows and you feel that chemistry and you have a good conversation you spend some time together you have to feel the chemistry through the conversation after that if you're feeling good if you're feeling great you know things sparked up conversation it's been a chill night he's respectful he maybe bought you a drink or whatever you're gonna go home and you're gonna have the ride of a lifetime i'm not even kidding you are going to have the best night ever ever truly honestly and you know why it's because of desire desire and patience like i said the men yapping in your ear please please can i come home with you they don't have desire they don't have patience

they will fuck a mick chicken if they can't they do not give a fuck they just want to stick their dick in something any man who just simply just simply wants to stick their dick in something is not gonna throw down fucking pipe he's gonna put it in pump a couple times and come wherever the fuck he wants you uh get away from me oh my god scary i don't want that like i don't want you guys to want that either i don't want you guys to settle for that build the desire build the passion and dare i argue like you don't even have to go home the first time but yeah moral of the story here it's not the loud yappers it's not it's not leave those alone they're loud for a reason and it's not good reasons my boyfriend 25m of one plus year hasn't had his car

the whole time basically lives with me 23f help me okay and also someone else asked boyfriend is broke in all caps but so loving dot dot dot help oh okay okay okay okay okay okay let's get into the realities of life here I'm not gonna sit here and be like you need to be with your broke boyfriend because never ever will I say that but in your in your 20s you're dating you're going through things you find yourself in relationships whatever it is and sometimes you know people lose their jobs sometimes you know we go through hard times sometimes you got a budget it is what it is can you budget with your partner fantastic amazing the real questions here are is there progress happening are they setting goals are they achieving those goals are they working

forward if you have a broke-ass fucking boyfriend who's sitting on your couch all day eating hot cheetos fingering his fucking dick hole and playing video games and being like babe babe babe when can i borrow the car babe babe when's dinner ready and not paying rent he needs to go live on the corner of the street where he belongs he's got to go that's what i call okay so and i will say some men date for homes they do they do and i know this because i've been around some of my boyfriends skater friends they will find a girl who has a good head on their shoulders who has you know everything figured out a good routine whatever and they're like i want to live that life guess what they do they start dating them then all of a sudden they're living that

life because they're dating a amazing wonderful girl who wants to provide for their boyfriend but they're not bringing anything to the table they're not bringing goals achievements accomplishments money love understanding that man has to go i don't care how much he loves you i don't care how much he says he loves you if you want a freeloader like that get a cat get a dog my gosh like get something else that'll at least provide you a little bit more mental stability but no man should ever be living in your house rent-free no man should ever like be goalless I think goalless is a really big problem you need to have goals in life you need to have things you're working towards you need to you know even if you are like oh fuck you know I'm

broke like oh shit sometimes that happens you're like oh my god i did not mean to spend that much money last month like we got to really cut back on spending this week babe or like i can't you know go out to eat as much i hope you understand i'll still pay for like a couple days here and there but like let's focus on cooking at home they will work with you they will plan with you they will be honest they will be interactive they will make goals and plans and work towards those things and achieve those things and get their life back on track and i need you to not be with a lazy man a lazy man is a lazy lover a lazy man is a lazy partner and like if you want a child to take care of go have a baby don't do that but like a 25 year old man living in your house should not behave the

same way an infant child would that's for fucking sure like i said it's okay to be broke i get it i get it everybody goes through a broke phase at some point in time in their life it's like oh my god i'm at school i don't have any money because i'm not working okay i get it absolutely oh my god you know i had all these bills coming at once i had to handle them all i'm a little low on money right now that's okay i'm still working so we can build it all back up fantastic i understand i'm a very understanding person oh my god i went crazy on christmas you know we gotta chill for the month i gotta just like chill it out stack up my money a little bit maybe pick up a side hustle here or there oh my god i lost my job they had major layoffs at my tech company okay let me focus

let me regroup I'm going to be broke for a second but like I'll have a new job maybe next month if I don't have a new job soon I'm at least going to pick up some little things here and there to supplement money those are all understanding things those are all plans they've put in place those are all things that you know they are working towards everybody has slip ups in life sometimes not everybody's born with money some people have to work for it and that comes with up and downs I get it but if there's no plan in place if that man is doing absolutely nothing for you for you the home for himself if he has no goals if you ask him what his five month plan is and he says i don't know that man's a leech that is a leech and they have to go and a lot of men

are doing this nowadays i've realized a lot of men especially a lot of young men because they realize like women want things women work hard for things women figure it out women know how to do the laundry they know how to cook for themselves they know how to plan because guess what we were born doing this since birth which is so fucked up and they realize oh wow i mean i could learn all this stuff for myself or i could just move in with a woman who will do it for me and i don't want any of you guys doing that for a man never ever ever ever you're better off single literally you can't be in a hard time all the time does that make sense i see girls dating men who are going through a hard time 24 fucking 7 you are a willing participant in your life you can switch things

up absolutely but every day it cannot be a hard time because that's going to make your life a hard life you're going to be picking up the slack for another person and bitch life is hard enough alone you do not need to be solving problems for another person a partnership is two people who can um operate functionally alone if he cannot operate functionally alone if he cannot afford rent alone if he cannot afford a car alone he cannot plan groceries for himself cook for himself clean for himself alone he cannot do those things in a relationship and you should not be picking up the slack so broke boyfriend sometimes okay consistently broke boyfriend get out and i don't even mean to use the term boyfriend partner whoever if you are in a relationship and you find

yourself in this situation where you feel like you are the money provider and you do not want to be the money provider or the home provider you do not have to be those things like i said your partnership should be based on two self-sufficient individuals and if you do not feel that way it's okay to be like this isn't working well make someone a bad or good person in your opinion oh two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear

of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less time spent on operations more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most learn more at accenture.com spotify uh caring good people care about other people and other people who especially aren't like them good people care about them okay it's easy for you to care about people who are like you or whatever it's i guess difficult i guess for

other people to care about people who aren't like them but a good person cares about people no matter what like they they care about how your day goes they care about that random stranger they just met they extend kindness to everybody around them they approach life with a calm kind demeanor that is what makes a good person bad people they don't give a fuck about anybody else around them in fact they're very them centered bad people only care about themselves they only care about what they think who they are other people who are like them they only care about that and that's a bad person i don't fuck around with those kinds of people because i already know you're not gonna like me like i already know you're not gonna like me i already know you are going to do awful evil

things like i just don't fuck with you good kind people it's very obvious it's extremely obvious because like they are practically radiating glowing light they have angel wings coming out their back you feel their kindness whenever you speak to them it's very obvious like good people are very obvious honestly bad people are also sometimes obvious sometimes not sometimes they like to play that no i'm a good person i swear but like do you care about that homeless person on the street or do you think they should be gunned down like i'm scared i'm scared there's a lot of bad people out there right now and they're very evident it is very very evident who is a bad person right now who is self-centered who doesn't care about other people clock their

tea recognize that understand that if they can't extend kindness to somebody who isn't them who doesn't look like them who doesn't act like them then they are a bad person period i'm wondering how to be a respectful stoner i.e not making my weed problems their problem well whatever you do on your own time is your prerogative you know like I don't care if my friend doesn't smoke weed I'm not gonna smoke weed around them that doesn't mean I'm not gonna smoke weed at home when I'm not around them but like I'm not gonna bring that up around them you know it's the same thing as if like uh you have a friend who's like in recovery for alcohol you're not gonna drink around them because you don't want to make that their problem you know but you can drink at home

like whatever you just don't have to tell them about it or talk about it around them or do it around them it's very simple you know and i guess like maybe if you live with the person it's a bit different but i think you can just still just like keep it very respectful common spaces are common spaces for a reason you have to take other people into consideration the common spaces but like if you know they don't go in the backyard at 11 p.m and you want to go smoke a bowl out there then whatever you know if they're not outside reading their book and you're like gonna go smoke a bowl next to them then whatever that's not making it their problem but also i do also find this with weed that um and i also i see this in relationships a lot i see this in friendship problems a lot

it's like a control thing where it's like if you're my partner and i don't like weed then you're never allowed to smoke it it's like well that's fucking crazy because like in relationships you can't control your partner you can control the boundaries you have and the way you react to them but you can't physically control a partner we are not sims that person's gonna make whatever decision they want to make you know and you can tell them hey i don't like weed being smoked around me fantastic then they just won't smoke weed around you but they can still do that alone whenever they want to you know if you don't want a partner that doesn't smoke weed then don't have a partner that smokes weed you know but i understand the lifestyle differences um it's the

same thing as if like uh you are i had this problem when i was in nursing school and i needed to lock the fuck in like i'm a party girl don't get me wrong but like when i need to study for 18 hours which don't fucking bother me like i i need to lock in and it was like um differences in roommates where i was like study study study study i was not fun i'll tell you that but they were in their party era and it's like i had a big test that night i needed to study that night like all night in my room alone silence and they decided to throw a rager without me knowing outside of my bedroom it's like that's rude as fuck that's making your party problems my problem now and all of a sudden i'm the bad guy when i'm like i've told you that i need to study and all of a sudden you're in here

fucking partying this isn't gonna work this is not gonna work that's rude that's disrespectful that's mean but if it's like oh hannah's at home studying let me go to my friend's apartment to party who cares you know so just don't do it around them and i think that is fantastic and fine it won't make it their problem how to not feel useless while sick with the flu i can't study and i'm self-isolating with a high screen time sometimes life be like that sometimes life knocks you down and you're like bitch i have things to do i have things to do i can't be doing this i can't be sick right now um but dare i say that's like the most important time to like pause and sit back and chill the fuck out for a second like it is the universe telling you to take a take a

moment take a breather here's my go-to sick routine first of all as much vitamin c as i'm legally allowed to take in my body i think it's like a thousand milligrams if you're really sick vitamin c vitamin c vitamin c vitamin c even in this like kind of environment where i'm like interacting with people more often and i'm just like around sick people it's like i need to be taking vitamin c not daily that's too much on your system but enough that it's like i am combating a little bit and when you're sick it will help you get over and i'm not a doctor you know what you don't listen to influencers trying to promote medicine or lack thereof most importantly the lack thereof but i do enjoy taking vitamin c little vitamin c tablets if i need to especially

while i'm sick i think it just helps boost the immune system pho pho you need warm healthy stocky broth in your system i think pho is the perfect healing food i think it is fantastic i think it's amazing i think it literally has the power to heal your insides i'm not even kidding rice noodles fantastic easy light on your system maybe you get like a little beef situation so you get some iron in there throw in all those amazing magical herbs some jalapeno slices for some heat that'll help just like kick the flu kick the cold you need to be drinking like orange juice and replenishing with as much water as you can physically put in your body chug chug chugging when i chug water and i'm sick i like am imagining myself like flushing out the illness as i am

drinking the water as i am drinking gatorade a hot shower every night i'm not even kidding a hot shower every single fucking night i know you're like i'm so incredibly sick i can't get in the shower crawl your way into that bathtub lay on the floor while you're washing your hair if you need to but you need to shower because if you don't take care of your body your body's not going to take care of itself i think physical representation of taking care of your body in turn does help you get over sickness faster and you need to shower i know you're like girl i don't want to get out of bed i don't want to get out of bed it's okay you can lay in bed all day you can allocate 15 minutes to just get in the shower and wash your body off literally the heat also will help your body

process it'll help it speed up it'll help it beat it faster believe it or not hot shower okay please wash your face wash your body get out you can go lay back in bed again speaking of laying in bed it's okay but rotate those laying places okay if you're going to be horizontal maybe you do horizontal on the couch for a little bit horizontal on the floor for a little bit horizontal on the bed rotate do it all again you know what i mean but do not just lay in bed in bed all day um i think it's important to at least like get up stretch your legs every once in a while whether it's like a bathroom break whatever but most importantly like this is your rest period you're gonna be forced to rest you're gonna be forced to lay down you're gonna be forced to like take a

breather take a break to not do as much as you want to do sure your screen time might be a little bit high if you can maybe put on a movie so it's not so as overstimulating for your brain like you're gonna cause a headache babe from scroll scroll scrolling that much make sure if you are in bed you're taking naps you know you're allowing your body to rest and to sleep make sure you're getting enough sleep but it's okay you're gonna feel a little off your game i mean duh you're going through it i always get like every season not to jinx myself but just genuinely as a human being I always get sick in the winter and like spring probably like at least a good once or twice I would say once or twice with at least something whether it's the flu whether it's like

a COVID situation or I don't know whatever the hell just happens to be going around at that point in time like sometimes strep will be going around for some random fucking reason and when I enter the phase of like okay I gotta admit it to myself like I'm not feeling good I'm feeling sick I go all in immediately urgent care get the medications i need get tested for whatever i need the faster you can get on like real ass goddamn medicine the better you will feel i get home i immediately change into something comfy i put my hair back in a fucking braid i take my makeup off i lay down in bed i put a movie on i take a nap i let those medications settle in i chug water i eat pho for dinner and get as much sleep as i possibly can so my body has time to rest and recover i literally

like recovery max i really do i set all of my sights and all of my focus on healing and making myself feel better especially if you're snotty or you've a cold those hot showers really help i also oddly enough if i spend a lot of time on my bed i change my sheets a lot i know you're like bitch i'm sick i don't have energy to change my sheets i feel like when i'm laying in dirty ass sweaty sheets every single day it makes me feel worse and like i said i lazy max i do but also like recovery max we need to make sure we're taking care of the whole body eating good foods broth is fantastic chicken soup maybe a wonton soup but pho pho all the fucking way literally fucking um water as much as i can good real goddamn medicine sleeping and taking care of my

body hot showers changing my sheets moving around at least a little bit whether it's just like from one room to another whatever but i guarantee if you just like focus on rest and recovery you will get better in like three days okay three days max probably hopefully less but three to five days three days you'll be out of bed five days you'll be feeling completely back to normal but be patient patience is key focusing on recovery is key don't be like oh i wish i could be doing this i wish i wish i wish no no no no we are resting we are relaxing that is all that should be on your mind are you religious no i'm not religious but i am spiritual and i guess i believe in a god but do i believe in a white man god absolutely not not at all do i even believe

in a white jesus absolutely fucking not um i was raised methodist and i had a gay pastor which my mom was like she's not gay I was like she definitely is mom like it's okay we very much so had like rainbow crosses everywhere and like no hate like that's the best way to be raised if I'm gonna be raised in any religion like I think about my catholic cousins who it's like it's okay to be yourself it's okay to have like desires it's all right you don't have to be like full of shame 24 7 what the hell um so I was definitely raised religious like I'm not even kidding every Sunday church then every Tuesday and Thursday I would have um like a Sunday school not Sunday school but like whatever teen camp I don't know what they call it youth group that's

what it is so like raised quote-unquote very religious it it wasn't like very religious focused and I never really like bought on to the marketing that much so I haven't really followed it much in my like adulthood like Christianity in that sort of sense I don't denounce God you know whatever you believe in is whatever you believe in and then I went to a catholic college which was very interesting because I was like whoa this is very fucking different very different um a lot of shame there and then I just kind of like fell out of it but I am very spiritual where it's like you can't deny the beauty of the world like you can't deny the beauty and the magic of the world and you can't deny uh the beauty and the magic of like interacting with it and the

otherworldliness of it and i think that just makes you appreciate the world around you with much more love and light than being like meticulous and like um very uh factual so i'm spiritual is what i would consider myself but do i pray to anything do i like uh believe in like this massive massive like higher white man being absolutely not but do i believe in the magic of the world for fucking sure okay what the hell why do i have two of these questions back to back what if my boyfriend won't have sex with me on my period he says blood is gross and someone has said my boyfriend can't have sex with him on my period and i feel devastated is this a deal breaker oh my gosh i listen like i said everybody has different boundaries you can't control people if they

don't want to have sex like you can't force them to have sex you know what i mean like that's weird and odd but no man should ever ever ever ever shame you for what is naturally occurring in your body if they are not understanding of what is naturally occurring in your body that i don't fuck with that if they're like oh blood is gross your period blood is nasty and disgusting and you need to get away from me huh you are not mature enough to even be putting your dick inside of me that's how i feel you know like you can't force somebody to you know have sex with you especially if they're like i just don't feel comfortable in this environment whatever but like where is the uncomfortableness stemming from you know like what is it stemming from

is it stemming from i don't respect women during this time because i think they're gross they need to get the fuck away from you yeah yeah i don't think your boyfriend should ever make you feel gross or disgusting about something that naturally happens in your life like we as women we understand like this is whatever like honestly a girl could period bleed on me like sit on my lap and leave period blood in my lap and i'd be like i don't give a fuck like i truly don't care like it's whatever like it is so normal in my life at this point in time like i've been having my period for what like 10 years that's what i bleed for seven days every single month you guys like you understand it is just so casual like i don't find that shit gross i really do not

that's probably the least gross thing in the entire world i think boogers are more gross than period blood truly honestly and i understand like men maybe aren't around it as much but there is a respect factor that needs to be there you need to respect me and what i'm going through and you need to respect like womanhood and what we have to experience and if there is no respect get the fuck out of my life period literally period but my boyfriend was the same way when i met him and not in a disrespectful way he like genuinely gets like queasy about different things and he never like grew up around blood but like even if like um i remember one time i was around him i had a nosebleed and he was like i can't like i can't look at you like i can't even be around you like

here's a towel like the blood is gonna make him pass out and it was like genuine like my nose started bleeding and he like i saw all the color wash from his face it wasn't like i don't care about you you get away from me it was like a oh my god i'm freaking out for some reason he gets that way about needles too like he has a really hard time with needles or like even thinking about needles we watched um we watched the substance together we got maybe 10 minutes in i'm not kidding he turned it off and passed out he passed out because of the needles and like the body shit like he does not do well with it he will still have sex with me on my period because he's like oh you know this is just like a part of your cycle it's a part of your womanhood it's a different

kind of blood like it is what it is if i'm gonna be up in there i need to have respect for it and i think it switched his perspective a little bit you know just like being around a woman more often um but he got over that real quick and if a man is ever shameful to you about your period get the fuck out of there but like i said you can't pressure anybody to do anything everybody has their reasons for things but shame should never be something you feel in your relationship speaking of shame someone said oh my god you guys this breaks my heart someone in quotations you don't come as hard as you used to from boyfriend of three years i feel like less of a woman once again shame should never be something you feel in a relationship ever ever i mean unless

it's warranted where you're like you can't get blackout drunk anymore like i'm gonna shame you a little bit like okay fine you don't come as hard as you used to but should you look him in the eyes and go maybe your dick isn't doing it for me anymore like what what what what what what huh no I'd be pissed and this is where I come in and I say I think respectfully and when I say boyfriends I mean girlfriends I mean whoever you have in your life I don't care if it's polyamorous whatever if you are in a partnership we need to feel a little bit more comfortable like cussing each other out I'm not kidding you can respectfully cuss somebody out like you don't have to raise your voice you don't even have to use cuss words I mean cuss them out where you look them in the

eyes and you go that was a fucking insanely rude and disrespectful thing to say I hope you understand just how fucked up it was and I'm gonna let you sit on that I think it is important sort of relationship friendship romantic sometimes we let people slide with things too often when in reality you need to be clocking what the fuck they're saying to you to your face like no that was weird that was odd why would you say that and yes i am going to combat you a little bit about this because that was out of pocket of you like what the hell are you saying to me right now sometimes it's okay to make people think about the words they're using i don't think a lot of people think about the words they're using and these are some fucked up words so i'd be hitting

him with the you know i just don't think you're as good enough anymore or you know what your load was really light are you okay like you're just not performing the same you used to do you need to get on some blue shoe pills like i'm fucking psychotic i'd get crazy about it but this is definitely something i would be like that's weird i don't know why you would say that to me especially if it's like oh my fault like that's not your fault if you're not coming as hard as you used to that's a him problem bitch if we as women could thank ourselves into orgasm orgasming if we could thank ourselves into orgasming as hard as possible we would not need men or women or partners we would be just doing it on our own because what choose between a subjectively hot

but boring partner or interesting but no sexual attraction dare i say i think you can have both I don't think you need to choose I think you can have both absolutely I don't think I'd be choosing I think I'd be like this one isn't fully doing it for me and this one isn't fully doing it for me so I'm gonna wait around until I get with somebody who does fully do it for me your partner should fully do it for you how to tap into my kind feminine side slash balance kindness and not taking shit I think we as women need to be around more older women more positive older women I understand sometimes um you know we as women any human being can be a bad person okay I'm not shaming older women but like we need to be around more positive older women relationships with older

women in my life that I look up to completely transform how I view the future I started actually imagining the future and looking towards the future and getting excited about the future and who i'm gonna be when i'm 50 60 70 when i started having more relationships with women who were those ages and like sometimes it just naturally happens like oh my god why is my work bestie a 70 year old woman sometimes it's like oh my god i'm in my early 20s my my bestie is a 30 year old like whatever it is maybe you run into an older woman at the grocery store literally i ran into this like 50 year old woman at PetSmart the other day and we started bonding over the cats and like kiki-ing over the cats girl I was in that PetSmart for 30 minutes just like chit-chatting

you know they have so much to teach us we have so much to learn from them and it really just gives us hope and desire for the future I so um the restaurant I am at sometimes um the owner his wife finally just came to the states and they're gonna be here for a little bit before taking off somewhere else but she is a older persian woman and i mean he before she came he had nothing but good words to say to her about her she's amazing this woman is fantastic i'm so lucky to have her as a partner like we are constantly like spending time apart but like this is like my partner for life we have a very unconventional relationship but she's an older woman like i she is just so fantastic to have around she's taught me to really love fierce women to enjoy fierce women to really

respect them and two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. This episode is brought to you by Accenture. When your advertising operations fall out of sync, everything else follows. Spotify and Accenture are working together to reinvent the rhythm of ad sales using automation, analytics, and smarter workflows to simplify campaign delivery and access better data across the business. The result? Less

time spent on operations, more time connecting brands with the moments and fandoms that matter most. Learn more at Accenture.com slash Spotify. Listen to them. And I'm like, oh, wow, that's amazing. Like, I can't wait to meet her. And then I did. And she is that plus more. She is so warm. she is so caring every time you run into her she's hello hannah how are you she embraces you like the american culture i'm realizing very cold very cut off persian culture everybody is family she's cutting up fresh fruit do you want some fresh apples we just picked these from our house like let me bring this to you try this new special i've been making like how are you doing here's a hug i'm happy to see you while also saying those things and turning around and cussing someone out

like it's crazy because you can tell she's cussing someone out with love you can tell she's like pissed off with love she is mad with love she's not just mean to be mean or to feel powerful or to feel whatever to feed her ego she is saying things very directly she is saying things that need to be said and she's being calm kind and respectful about it because she respects everybody around her it is the most like inspiring thing i've ever seen literally i think she's like 70 and i'm like oh my god she is running around this place so you do this you do this i want this done how are you doing here's a hug like happy to see you i need this done like boss ass bitch and it really is just showing me the duality of just like the feminine side of things like i think

sometimes when you think oh feminine i'm in my soft era i'm just a girl i'm just a girl i just sit back and i do nothing and i have no brain and i don't think like hell no hell no that's gonna make you subservient that's gonna make you accept things that you should not accept girl what do you mean i'm a girl i have no brain huh oh my god the propaganda we fell for it like that is not that is not how we're supposed to be living we are allowed to be sexy and smart and feminine and kind and caring and compassionate and maybe a little combative and straightforward and blunt and honest like all of that is what makes women so beautiful the duality of it all we are able to be all of these things all at once and i think that is all amazing i think we're also sold this

idea that we need to box ourselves in as women oh are you going to be this aesthetic or this aesthetic are you gonna be the smart girl are you gonna be the the sporty girl are you gonna be you know um malibu barbie are you gonna be astronaut barbie like are you gonna be shopping barbie are you gonna be smart barbie it's like no no no no no i'm gonna be all of those things because we have the power to be all of those things but if men can be all of those things why the fuck can't women be all those things and i love doing that like truly me as a woman i'm like okay i'll be collecting different like personalities like infinity stones i'm gonna be collecting different hobbies like infinity stones anything you say i can't do i will do and i'll do it 10 times better

than you like i don't give a fuck anymore because it truly is like she is the most divine feminine being that i've ran into in a while and she is truly like master of all like she is straightforward she is honest she is kind she is caring she's compassionate she is passionate she says what on what's on her mind there is no like uh sugarcoating it like you as a human being should be able to handle my words because i'm coming to you in a kind and respectful way and if you can't that's your prerogative but like this is a workplace like you need to be able to handle this and it really has taught me like wow wow i love it strong independent but the duality of like you can be strong and independent and a go-getter while also being just like a good person

like i said what's a good person somebody who cares about other people somebody who extends kindness to people no matter who they are but is not afraid to also like speak up when need to be spoken to say the hard things to have the hard conversation they're not just gonna lay down on the floor like a fucking doormat no and i love it i really do love it i think that's why i end up reading a lot of novels written by women women who have gone through things like maybe similar as me like i love a nice nin i don't know if i sang that right um i braiding sweet grass such a great book written by just like such a wise woman anything written by eve babbitts like i love reading things written by just like very complex women because like i said i think we

like to take the complexity out of the feminine side of things but what makes women so amazing is the complexity how many different emotions we can feel i mean we joke about it when it's like oh me at 12 experiencing a full range of emotions that men don't even experience until 25 until they happen to do mushrooms for the first time it's like we are very complex very observant like individuals and also i hate like you know categorizing things by gender i know that can get annoying um because gender is very much so just like a societal construct so if you feel feminine that's valid enough but i don't want you to um to get rid of the complexities of the feminine side of things because society tells us that feminine equals soft feminine equals quiet

feminine equals gentle feminine equals subservient we can be kind and gentle absolutely but that doesn't mean you need to do that all the time that doesn't mean you need to sit back and take shit from people that doesn't mean that you don't speak up when you need to speak up it means you speak up when you need to speak up and you say it with a calm kind chest it means you are observant of your surroundings and you are aware of when you know certain behaviors are necessary and when they're not you're able to make those key judgments about people because you're able to see them from a level head you approach others who are different from you with kindness and compassion you offer that kindness and compassion when it needs to be extended you enter every room a warm light that's

what the feminine side of things mean to me and that's what i think makes just like a strong independent um amazing woman you know and i i really appreciate it because i feel like you know going into it you think oh my gosh you know like maybe a partner won't like a strong independent woman but then like i'm hearing or like the reinforcements of a man being like no I love strong women they really have the power to like change people's lives to better your life to better everybody else around them like even I've seen them like literally fight in front of me and it's like but they're doing it in such a kind way where it's like no I'm not gonna let you talk shit to me like you're gonna hear me out and you're gonna listen and he's like yes ma'am you

know what I mean like this is her world I'm truly just living in it and it's fantastic it's amazing and I am very thankful to be around like so many inspiring women all the time because it really just shows me how beautiful we all can be individually and how amazing we all can be individually how different we can all be individually and how much we have to learn from each other how much we need to extend patience to each other and understanding and kindness and compassion and especially now more than ever you know good people deserve to be around good people you deserve to be a good person you deserve to be a well-rounded person I don't want you to ever box yourself into a certain category you have the power to be whoever

you want to be and I want you to always go after that no matter what and I want you to not be afraid to like be who you are and stand up and stand strong and stand tall about who you are and about what you believe in I think all those things are very beautiful and powerful especially now more than ever we need strong independent women absolutely and I know everybody here is listening is you know that person or does respect those people and so I'm so thankful for you guys being here because listen if you did not respect strong independent women you would not listen to me that's for god damn sure so thank you for being here and thank you for going on this journey of life with me I'm excited to start my winter arc or whatever you're going to call it my winter prep

my winter planning I'm excited to really like challenge myself I think that's the main thing I need some challenge in my life I come out of challenge like so much better so much different and grown and stronger and more compassionate and so I'm excited for the challenge of winter it really does force us to kind of strengthen our roots and strengthen our growth and our understanding of self and so I'm excited to take that journey with you all ah good things coming I'm feeling good about today it's nice and warm it's sunny little dangers out on the patio enjoying the warm weather the leaves are changing i'm going horseback riding later like truly what could be better i got a kiki with my girls today i'm cooking a potato soup this week you guys every single

fucking year around this time my family would make potato soup and i was always in charge of it i'm not kidding i would eat this potato soup morning lunch dinner until it was gone i go through this shit like crazy so if you are interested in a potato soup recipe one that i have made for my entire life that should be up this week on the instagram if you want to submit your questions submit them on the instagram and i know some of you guys were like and i don't have instagram where do i submit you can always email me i guess at hannahmarlene444 at gmail.com that's my email account you can always reach me there hannahmarlene444 at gmail.com but if you want to you know submit your straightforward question on instagram

at hannah marlene for all the new listeners here because there's a lot of them welcome welcome welcome happy to have you and like i said make me stay true to my goals you guys i'm filming a halloween decorating video for the youtube i think my youtube is hannah marlene 444 now you're like listening on youtube and you're like girl what i have a separate like vlog and video channel which at hannahmarlene444 and of course like always if you want to see more from me truly we have so much fun over on the patreon patreon.com slash smoke says shorty if you can't remember all these they're going to be in the description the links will be below so check them out come join patreon girlies really keep this podcast up and running so thank you all so so so much for that i answer every

single question on the patreon exclusive episodes plus much more fun content but with that being said stay sane stay sexy stay strong and I'll see you all so soon two and five Canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca.