Smoke Sesh - summer body, thrift 101 & navigating your 20’s

Episode Date: May 16, 2023

Happy Tuesday everyone so excited to be back with another smoke & chit chat sesh. I am finally in my new space! So prepare for a few smoke breaks with me today! We start off catching up with what I’ve been up to (over working) and what I have coming up! Moving spaces, Facebook market place, and how to thrift like a pro (plus some of my best kept secrets), we talk navigating our waiting period and not taking life for granted, the big relationship vs single? and which is better? How to make cooking at home work for you, how to break the munchies, how to get manifestation to actually work for you, bondage, how to wear heels, navigating this aggressive post retrograde energy, how to know a relationship will work, vacations, my go to makeup routine, summer skinny & bikini body ready (body neutrality), how to fuck up, breaking the perfectionism, eating ass, new nails! smoking impulse control, my personal Spotify playlists, anxious avoidant and communication is hard, sensory deprivation, cheating, how to calm anxiety, and much much much much much much more! Thank you so much for joining me today, can’t wait to see you next Tuesday and fill you in on all the shenanigans I’ll be getting up to this weekend, see you soon! MUAH!

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning hotties of the world! so excited to have you back for another episode of Smoke Sash. I'm so excited to hang out with you guys. You guys showed me so much love on the last episode. I feel like you guys really enjoyed

the call-ins as much as I did, and I think, I mean, I'm assuming because so many of you guys submitted more call-ins this week, so I'm going to include as many of those as I can in so many of you guys' fantastic questions today, but I am coming to you live from my bed per usual, but most importantly from my new apartment oh my god i am so exhausted so so so very exhausted we finally made it through mercury retrograde i kind of ended it with a little like heavy push on myself which felt good for me to get through because now i get to celebrate a little um but today is like my first day off in like a week um i have been working working working working working working and if you guys are in the service industry then you know that like an eight hour

shift feels like 16 hours because you are up you are moving you are chit-chat and you are trying to stay sane and on top of that I moved into my new apartment Saturday morning at 7 a.m the movers arrived and they put in a lot of work but I only had them for two hours um so I also had to move a lot of stuff and then proceed to work an eight hour shift after that and then like two days after that so my body my feet my legs my brain my arms are just over it and i am so excited to just smoke hang out and chit chat with my girlies for the afternoon on my first day off in a while i wanted to just put in a bunch of work because i feel like it feels extra good when you're working, working, working, working, and then you have like a little vacation or a

little day off. And Thursday through Saturday, I believe, I will be in Denver. I'm going to see Kali Uchis. I am so excited. It's going to be so much fun. Get out into nature a little bit, smoke on some good ass weed. If you guys want to catch up on the vlog or anything like that, that will be up on my patreon this weekend i'm a little vlog trip but i'm just working little mini vacay more working and then i'm going to mexico for my birthday oh my god just so many things have been leading up to this moment i remember like looking back a year from now like around my birthday time and that year had been a very like let's just chill let's just hang out we're not doing anything crazy we're not really traveling and I remember sitting around that time

and being like no bitch we gotta get up we gotta take advantage of this life we gotta get out there and specifically my one goal was for me to be on the beach on my birthday and I am so excited that not only am I going to be able to do that but I'm going to be able to do so much more and a lot of it is thanks to you guys um you guys push me to do a lot for myself and to share a lot with you which is always so fun and exciting um and yeah I owe it all to you and I'm so thankful for you guys for giving me that little push that i need to go out and be the adventure adventurous person that i am so with that being said also i do live on a very fairly busy street so i hope there's not a lot of background noise i might move to a new area in a hot sack um but if there is please

feedback feedback feedback i always love it anything that you have any ideas that you have i love hearing from you guys but you know the chit-chatting i get it you don't want to hear for me you want to hear the questions you want to hear the juicy gossip so let's get into it my girls someone asked for a new apartment tour um when i finish unpacking i will absolutely a million percent do that for you guys don't worry i already did like an empty apartment tour on patreon but this apartment is big my last apartment was like 800 900 square feet and this apartment is like 15 1900 square feet like it is big so i have to do some major furniture shopping and the one thing they don't really tell you about moving is furniture is so expensive it's so expensive

like I bought two dining chairs and they were $200 like excuse me $100 a chair what is going on here this is insane so I have really been looking at Facebook marketplace especially around this time because there's a lot of like cool college kids moving away or moving back home for the summer so they're trying to get rid of shit love that also it's like garage sale season perfect for looking at furniture but you really have to hunt like I am on that app every single day hunting for shit like i still need a coffee table and i need a second couch oh my god i need more dining chairs more wall art and i'm the kind of person where it's like i could move in and i could just like buy it all and just have it all here but i like the hunt a little bit i like

really taking time to look for stuff and ask yourself like is this a worthy piece to invest in that's something me and my dad were talking about he's like now that you're older and you're more established like you don't have to buy all these like really cheap items to have around you you should be looking for cost effective and also long-term items to keep around you things that you want to like have your children sit at in 20 years things that you will be able to utilize for a long time because that's how you're going to get the most bang for your buck um so that's really really what i have been focusing on lately um so this place is kind of a hot mess still i'm assuming in the span of hopefully a month ish I will get it all figured out but the number one moving tip

that I have for people is just like don't rush take time to build a home for yourself and make it your own space like I understand you can go to someone's like Amazon profile and they have all 50 house items that you need linked right here and you could order all those things and have them but then you just have a version of their home a version of this mass-produced home when you could take time to really connect with the items around you and connect with what you truly want and bring those into your life um and in turn that's truly how you build a home that's how you make your space the most comfortable space that you possibly can so very excited to do that i just finished my coffee table i mean my dad repainted it i gotta get it moved up here i got this beautiful like

1920s waterfall circle mirror dresser it is insanely gorgeous um so i gotta get that moved in but yeah i'm still looking for a few more things i'm on the hunt but it's fun you know facebook marketplace it's really all you need in life when it comes to uh moving and getting everything you need for your house the same person also said thrifting tips you find the best stuff and this was after i posted this little thrift haul um i had on sunday after mother's day i was out in lee summit missouri which is kind of middle of nowhere suburbs um and they happen to have always like really really good thrift stores because the people who are thrifting are thrifting for like newer items while i'm there thrifting for older items like you gotta judge thrift stores

based on who's shopping there like in the city where i'm shopping i know every little thrifty bitch is in there i say lovingly um because i am also this person is in there looking for the same items like we're all hunting for the levi jeans and we're all hunting for the y2k 90s midi dresses you know so i like to go to thrift stores where i know the clientele is looking for different things than I am because then I know that I have a higher chance of finding the things that I want and I had a pretty successful trip um when it comes to thrifting I say I used to say the more time in there the better but now I kind of think the less time in there the better like you should do one maybe 30 minute walkthrough and if you do not have something jump out at you

then it's not something you probably want and also you shouldn't be doing these trips and buying like 10 to 15 items I will only allow myself to leave the thrift store with five items max and half the time I don't even find that many items because I feel like when it comes to thrifting people are like oh this is a one-of-a-kind item I need to have it and that's not the mentality you should be approaching buying things it should be do I want this will this fit in in my life should it have an opportunity to be around me so I went thrifting and I did a little video that's up on my like Instagram reels at Hannah Marlene if you want to check it out little thrift haul for you um I got like this beautiful star ashtray I'm always looking for ashtrays I'm always looking

for fun graphic tees or fun basic tank tops um i'm always looking for fun like 80s 90s shoes or boots like fry boots um but i found this beautiful ashtray one number two this gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous like blue cheetah print maximalist sparkly dress oh my god incredible i feel like i could do a really fun thrift flip with it like put some cutouts in it and it would be gorge just you know updated a little bit i also got this bamboo magazine holder like bamboo brass so it's like a golden brass magazine holder i posted a photo on it on my um story yesterday on instagram of it holding all of my vintage playboys love gorgeous and then i found a jersey like a baby pink jersey i have been loving jerseys recently um any sort of jersey any sort of like

soccer shirt i feel like they're so fun to wear like a little mini jersey tee but yeah i feel like you really have to approach it as in the items that i want will find me you'll see it and you'll be like that fits like comfort level good you don't have to talk yourself into it like should i should i not you know what i mean you're like no i need this and also don't spend as much time in there as you think um the more time you spend of course the more things you'll convince yourself to buy you only need max five things um and go to places where you know the people who are shopping there are looking for different things than you like out in the suburbs i know those girlies are looking for like different clothing styles the different demographic shopping there like it's

older women um and i know the things that i'm looking for will probably be more available than the things that they're looking for mostly because i'm a little bit more eccentric and out there and i'm more willing to wear a sparkly neon blue cheetah print dress when i know they are not they see that and they're like ew so the best thrift tips those are really them i go to savers i go to red racks i go to city thrift i like to go to the goodwill bins i like a salvation army any of them really any of them um but i feel like once you find one and you find a bunch of things there you will know like okay this is the spot like i gotta come here and also in the mornings on weekdays specifically like tuesday through thursday those are the best days to go because

they've had time to restock from the weekend from so many people being there um and not a lot of people aren't going during the weekdays um and usually resellers like the people who go in there and then you see them with like four shopping carts full of shit and you're like what the fuck i'm not gonna find anything they usually go like mondays fridays saturdays so thrift 101 with hannah love you hello hannah first of all i just wanted to say that i love you and i love this podcast it makes my heart squeal but anyway i'm on a little walk right now in the middle of nowhere I'm at my mom's house and the only thing surrounding it is corn so I'm just trotting along anyway um so I am moving in with my boyfriend in a couple weeks it's really exciting we're

going to Virginia and he has like a little like work visa thing because he is from Ireland so we're gonna live together this summer but anyway the overall question is what do I do for these next two weeks because I'm like I can't really get a job and I'm kind of just like living in the middle of nowhere so do you have any like little hobbies or fun things that I could start that don't require like outside like me driving to the store which is like an hour away any ideas anyway I love you bye oh my gosh I love this question because I feel like it really expands across many different experiences that people could be going through right now whether it's you you got two weeks you're just waiting to you know jump into this new life that you're going to

be creating with your boyfriend or maybe you know you're going to college in two months um and you don't know what to do for these two months of summer break and you really just want to jump into that new college experience that new lifestyle or maybe you're like my friend who i was just chatting with who um uh she you know is in the middle of her job she's about to become a travel nurse she has a few months and she really just wants to be there but she has to be here for now until that comes around if you're in any period of your life where you're in kind of a waiting plateau zone like the plateau we talked about in last episode you really have to honor it and fully immerse yourself in it and i know you want to like jump forward and live in that new

life but the best way to make this time fly by where you are now is to really just ask yourself what are my favorite things to do here so you know if you're like going to college soon you're going to be living that life i guarantee at some point you will look back and be like i miss just waking up and having breakfast with my family or i miss just you know being able to take a walk around my neighborhood or i miss petting my dog like little things like that those like little tiny things that maybe are a part of your everyday life and maybe seem kind of like a nuisance or you know aren't super important will become the most important things when you jump into that new life so it doesn't have to be like oh you know to pass the time you got to go get a new job or if

you go do something crazy with your friends or you have to whatever it may be it doesn't cost money it doesn't cost you know time or energy it really is the most simple things that you take the most pleasure in so like take a moment to stop and ask yourself and like ponder like what am i grateful for right now like sure my mom gets on my nerves but i might miss her in a little bit so let's go hang out with her let's go run to the store with her let's go help her with chores or you know i'm really gonna miss being able to cook dinner with my family um or just for myself in my own home like whatever it may be look at the little things and look into them and then while you're doing them take the time to honor them i know i get it you want to jump forward

you want to you know go do some crazy things really live your life and live that new experience that is coming up um but as sentimental creatures we're gonna look back at some point in time and be like damn i really miss my old life and the simple things that brought joy during it so ask yourself what did i do during childhood what did i do during my teen years what are the mundane things in my life right now that bring me a lot of joy and then take time to really take advantage and do those things so like you said you're just wandering around down your road buy some corn i feel you my fellow midwest girly maybe you're not even from the midwest but i grew up like in farm country and i do feel the like random gravel dirt road corn walks like been there i gotta

escape and go on my own walk but you might miss those you know in a few months so enjoy them listen to your music take your little stroll and really take a moment to look around at where you are and um give thanks you know because these little things are the things that make you who you are but I feel like that's really the best way to make the time pass as fast as you can while also bringing comfort for a future that you don't know because you will never look back and be like damn I did not really you know take full advantage of the past situation I was in you will know that you gave full thanks enjoyed it to the fullest and in turn you will be able to enjoy your future experience to the fullest as well that was so deep and philosophical wow i think we need a

hit of this bowl i went to the dispo recently and i hate the dispo like love the dispo in colorado and california where like there's actual deals and that shit's been established for a while and like there's multiple companies to shop from but in missouri it's kind of a monopoly like there's only a few um growers like established growers um so there's only a few fucking things to choose from and also it's so expensive like listen I'm getting my weed for free usually so when I gotta pay $40 for an eighth my ass is like okay I'm never coming back we cannot do this again but on mother's day i didn't have any weed and i had a few hours like of a little break before i had to go into work from like a transition from mother's day brunch to work and i was like i really want

to smoke let's go check out a dispo bitch 40 but now i can actually tell you what i'm smoking on i am smoking on clementine it's a sativa hybrid i'm not gonna tell you the brand because i don't recommend like the flower is mid and they charge me 40 but the um i think the thc percentage is 20.74 which is it's just okay i didn't need anything that was gonna knock me on my ass so i felt like this little sativa was gonna be great for you know tickling my mind and really bringing new thoughts around while also helping me chill out so that being said now that i'm in my new apartment cheers let's smoke a fucking bowl together love you oh i missed this did you guys miss this i feel like the first year of the podcast i

I honestly most of the time I either actually I did record because it was at my first ever like house slash apartment and it was a smokers only house like let me tell you that um and then my second apartment I couldn't smoke so I haven't been able to smoke bowls with you I've really missed it so we're back we're better than ever and we're higher and hotter than ever as well let's get into some more questions someone asked um is it better to build a relationship with someone or live your 20s single this is a hot debate right now because i feel like the relationship girlies are relation relationshiping and the single girlies are singling harder than ever they're singling and relationship shipping so i feel like this is a good and hot debate because

also the relationship girlies are seeing the single girlies going hard and they're like fuck like should i be out there am i doing the wrong thing and then also the single girlies are looking at the relationship girlies more in love than ever and are like am i doing the wrong thing like why am i not in a relationship and it's just like a really hefty fast-paced judgmental cycle and let me tell you this neither of them are the right or wrong answer the only right answer is wherever you are in your 20s whether it's single or in a relationship that you are putting your all into your situation that is the most important part not oh i'm single but should i be you know in a relationship should i be doing this should i be

questioning myself no you should be yeah i'm single that's cool i'm gonna go get pizza with my friends and go out partying and hang out by myself and have a good time and maybe adopt a cat and i'm gonna live my best life like i'm going to be the best single person that i possibly can be and if you're in a relationship instead of being like oh should i be single should i be doing this like am i doing something wrong like am i doing my 20s wrong devoting myself to a man oh my god am i insane like maybe but also like you should be giving your all to your relationship right now you should be throwing yourself into it you should be really loving the person that you are with and taking advantage of the situation you're in instead of second guessing yourself and trying to

like subconsciously distance yourself from the good situation you're in the only right way to live your 20s is to live it passionately and to not doubt yourself and to find comfort in the situation you're in instead of constantly trying to push yourself into a hole that maybe you don't fit into yet does that make sense um but yeah i don't think there's any right answer i think you should just have the most fun in any situation that you're in and if you're in a relationship and you're just not having fun period maybe you should leave me and my boyfriend talked about that um a lot at the beginning of our relationship which is just like let's just have fun and let's make this relationship based on fun instead of trying to make it based on standards or you know

things that we should be doing or things that we constantly do wrong like let's just try and have the most fun as we can and once we stop having fun then maybe we gotta you know look elsewhere and i feel like that's kind of a the a great motto not only to live by relationships but also to live by everything like let's just try and have fun no matter where the fuck we are and if you seek for that you're bound to have a good time literally no matter what so no i don't think there's a right answer but don't feel uncomfortable by the situation you're in because it probably is the best situation for you no matter what like even in my past relationships where i'm like god that was super fucking toxic and you know i have some bumps and bruises from it and sure i probably

should have been single during it and i probably should have broken up with that loser man but guess what i wouldn't be where i am today i wouldn't have learned the lessons that i am today i wouldn't have the new boundaries or understanding on life that i have today so there's not any what ifs or should haves it's just we learn we do better and we have so much fucking fun during it someone asked tips that could tips on cooking at home more a have dishes that you like like you gotta have dishes you enjoy like the only reason i really get out of bed to make my own coffee is because my mug in the morning is gonna be like really cute and all of those I've thrifted I love thrifting my dishes or I have these beautiful jade green bowls that like really make me enjoy

eating cereal and salads out of it that is a fantastic way to encourage yourself to uh eat more food at home like if I'm eating out of Tupperware I'm like uh you know like let's make this fun let's do a little paper wrap around this bitch or some saran wrap or foil or something anyways sorry little tangent number two cook food you like fantastic way to eat at home you know when i'm not eating at home when i forget who i am and buy like only greens and then i look in the fridge craving a bagel I don't have that because I only have salad and I'm like well fuck I'm definitely not eating that salad because I'm craving carbs so let me go out and spend money on carbs like you have to cook foods you like so look into your diet look at other things you crave

like oh my god would a breakfast burrito sound good in the morning amazing you get a little carbs to power your brain you get a little protein to power your body you get a little hot sauce to add some spice to your life boom beautiful you can add some spinach in there for some iron some greens fantastic amazing yummy easy to cook guess what you're gonna be making it every single week like that is the approach that you really have to have to food um you've got to make it things that you're actually going to eat and enjoy do a little twist on it if you have to like add some broccoli to something or add some you know a kale spinach whatever it may be to make it a little healthier like i'll do fettuccine alfredo but i'll throw a bunch of veggies in there like any veggies i can

find fantastic i get to have what i want i'm making it myself um and also i'm hitting all of the like dietary needs that i am supposed to be doing for my body boom and i'm eating it out of a dish i like fantastic also create a routine around cooking when it comes to cooking i used to look as it look at it like a nuisance like oh i gotta get up and do this but a once i started cooking things i liked i started creating a ritual around it and it really became a time for me to like have my peace of mind and really just like hone in on something something that's productive and will be really yummy at the very end of it while also like allowing myself to dissociate a little bit because like i'm cooking i'm doing something that's going to be productive and yummy

but also i don't really have to think a whole lot through it so like that's the time where i watch youtube videos or i put on a podcast or i'm watching a movie whatever it may be so it's a beautiful little time for me to just have a moment with myself and then also eat something fantastic and yummy last tidbit of advice do your fucking dishes okay and do them as you're cooking if you finish a dish like it was holding sauce in it and you put the sauce in the noodles and now you don't need that bowl anymore but it's dirty immediately wash it i know it's not fun but you know what is even more not fun waking up in the morning to dirty dishes if you have dishes you have a dishwasher oh my god i have a dishwasher in my new apartment i'm so excited because my last apartment it didn't

have a garbage disposal and it didn't have a dishwasher was brutal i really recommend having both of those things in an apartment you're moving into um but now i have a dishwasher so much easier rinse that dish off put it immediately in the dishwasher run it every night or every other night whenever you know it starts it's full let's not waste water here but do your dishes because if you are going to want to cook at home you're gonna need clean dishes to cook with and if you dirtied them last night and then you waited two days you're really not gonna want to scrub that dish and then cook something in it so yeah after you do all those things i guarantee you'll love cooking at home i love cooking at home now i'm literally about to go make myself some eggs and

potatoes and it's gonna be so delicious and guess what it cost me like 79 cents like are you kidding me anyways yeah i love it i need to share more dishes with you guys or more like recipe videos maybe i'll get into that maybe that'll be my goal for june hmm love it hi hannah um this is andy from new york um i love the fucking podcast i literally this is the one thing that i report to every fucking week especially when i've had a very stressful week um my question is how do you control munchies when you're high like i've gained a lot of weight because of me smoking and i'm still a new smoker i haven't uh i started like about last year over the summer uh so yeah things are just a bit hard and sometimes i use eating to cope and that's like not okay

i'm not judging myself but i just want to swap for healthier coping mechanisms but yeah girly i love you thanks hey hannah angie again um i had another question so my question is how um how do you properly manifest like i believe in like manifestation and all that stuff but i don't know how to do it like i've heard of scripting i've heard of like saying the affirmations as if you already have what you want to receive but like i don't know just don't be working um not that it doesn't work i just i just don't think i'm doing it right so any tips would help okay thanks babe i wanted to include both of those because i feel like they're perfect

fantastic topics to chit chat about um first of all munchies when it comes to munchies you have to allow yourself to have them okay but here's the thing if you only have like all of your favorite foods in the cupboard then you're going to be eating all of them like of course so now when it comes to like what i stock up on when i know i'm an emotional eater and i also know that i have the munchies all the time is i try and make sure there's kind of like healthier things that i can snack on and munch on um in order to kind of satisfy that craving so recently i've been loving like making some i'm a weirdo but i love hard-boiled eggs it's so weird but they're so good with like hot sauce fantastic those carrots and hummus pita and hummus any anything in hummus

honestly i always have like sour candy around so i can eat a few of those um and also my favorite way to satisfy my munchies is with a drink like some type of yummy drink i always have something that i can make in my fridge whether it's like the earth day matcha i posted a video on or a regular matcha or a little coffee or like a flavored sparkling water i feel like that in itself really satisfies whatever i'm craving a hot chocolate at night oh the best munchie are you fucking kidding me um but yeah i feel like it's just allowing yourself like there's nothing wrong with you like yes of course weed is gonna make you hungry because weed makes food fantastic like it makes it taste incredible also triggers um some of your hunger receptors so like allow yourself a

snack it's okay to have a snack it's okay to feel your body it's okay to enjoy food um but just you gotta work with it you know have things that are good options readily available for you like literally a part of my shopping list every week is like okay so what are my munchies gonna be because i know i'm gonna get hungry in the afternoon and i know i'm gonna be hungry like after i eat dinner after i like have a dab so what is gonna be my designated go-to this week that's how you kind of have to think about it instead of being like oh you know maybe it won't happen this time like bitch it's happened the past 100 times we know it's gonna happen again like that's the conversation i have with myself and then just work in something that you know

you'll enjoy all week but yeah that's kind of my go-to advice for that and then manifestation the reason manifestation doesn't work for work for people is because they're doing only scripting or they're looking in the mirror saying their affirmations whatever it may be and then going on with their day as if nothing has changed at all like sure that's a good part of it and a good way to rewire your brain but the only reason and the only way manifestation works is if you truly want it and you truly believe it and then most importantly if you actively make steps in your everyday life to get to that goal the people the reason people don't believe in manifestation is because they think it's a bunch of witchcraft and magic and how are you going to bring your

thoughts into reality so quickly and so abruptly but thoughts are kind of everything and the way you think about things really has a fantastic magical way of controlling the outcomes around your life and I think thoughts are very powerful but the thing that is the most important when it comes to manifestation is action are you making actions within your everyday life to reach that goal so maybe your manifestation is oh I want to you know move into a new beautiful amazing apartment I want to move out of my parents house I want to you know move out of my college dorming situation well are you looking actively at the prices of apartments around you are you working every single day to make sure you're meeting that required income are you maybe looking for roommates

are you uh touring apartments are you collecting things so when you move in you have stuff available to uh to like sleep on and to sit on and stuff like that that's what i mean that is the manifestation and you could be like yeah Hannah that's just working but I do believe manifestation is a big part of that or working is a big part of manifestation like you have to constantly work towards your goals every single day and the way to feel you know inclined enough to work towards your goals and the way you motivate yourself to work towards your goals is with those affirmations and with those scripting things and with journaling or whatever it may be that is like your go-to form of like quote-unquote manifestation that you see in the

public eye um that is how you motivate yourself to then take the big steps and the big steps are really really what makes those manifestations into your reality the way you think really affects the way you behave and the way you you behave has a direct effect on the outcomes that you bring into your life so that's how I feel about manifestation but love it I think it's a fantastic tool I think the way you we look at it and the way you know it is spoon-fed to us on social media is a very simple, symbolized, idealized version of it. And it's only like a drop in the bucket of what it really is. But like, I'm here to tell you it's real. But the reason it's real is because it is a empowering tool to get you motivated to accomplish your dreams and to take the one

step that it takes to start moving in the direction of your dreams. So love breaking it down for people because once I say that it's like oh okay that makes sense like yeah manifestation is real so scripting affirmations fantastic but it's not the only only um tool in your bucket that you gotta use anyways someone asked um oh shit I lost it oh thoughts on bondage slash starting to try it with a partner um fantastic question start slow like you don't have to jump into the whole like full body crazy you know like artistic bondage hanging from the ceiling like you don't have to jump that far in like it can be very very simple um whether it's just like uh hand tying there's this fantastic like um bondage tape you can buy that's not like tape it's more just like

a thicker um cellophane so it's easy to like get off and won't like hurt your skin that's fantastic for that kind of play you can go to like any sex store in your area and get it um but start small and then work your way from there and have fun most importantly have fun but also then have a safe word so if you like start to get uncomfortable or it starts to hurt um or you know you need a break then you have something you can say where it's like hey we gotta get this situation figured out i feel like having a safe word is always fantastic fantastic option or just like knowing your partner's gonna hear you and listen to you when you're like hey we gotta stop you know something where you have like a safety fail that's always necessary especially in any sort of play

where somebody is not um is a little bit more vulnerable than the other if that makes sense but have fun get creative i really recommend you as a couple going together to a sex store um and just looking around and picking up items and checking stuff out and then like working together to find stuff that interests both of you that is like my number one tip when it comes to dipping your toes in and then go home have fun win win win win win love it someone asked how to wear heels this is a really good question um I used to wear heels all the time like all the time in like my 1920s years um I would like it was like constant whether it was like a high heel like a going out partying high heel or like a boot heel I was always wearing them and then I

got a job as a host which I was so excited to be a host at a restaurant because I knew um i knew that i could like dress up and wear whatever i wanted like i didn't have to wear a uniform which is so fucking fun like yes i get to wear my fun funky clothes at work win win win like a excuse to dress up fantastic i would wear my heels there and then which usually wasn't an issue because it was like four hours i can do four hours and heels on my feet and then i worked like a 12-hour shift as a host and when i tell you i got home i took those six inch heel boots off i was trying to sleep and i couldn't sleep because my feet were like spasming like they were twitching and i was in so much fucking pain oh my god worst decision ever so here's some tips

from someone who has seen the the best of heels and the worst of heels on how to wear them um first of all first of all start small okay get a kitten heel get a one inch little one inch baby heel two inches maybe a kitten heel is what you want to look for or a heeled boot something that is going to hold your ankle in place and stabilize it those are the two best ways to start to learn to walk in them and then put them on your feet and just wear them around your house wear them around hang out in them a little bit you gotta have them on you and spend time in them in order to feel comfortable in them and then once you feel comfortable in them then you can move up like a three inch four inch five inch open toe sandal heel like something crazy you know what i mean

um it's heel toe when you walk but you are putting a majority of your weight not on your toes not leaning forward that much but on the it's like under your toes is that like pad that like bigger pad you want to put most of your weight on the bottom side of that pad so not in the middle of your foot but like a little bit higher right on the bottom side of your pad that's where you want to put most of your weight and then if you do that you'll pretty much be okay it'll it just take some experience working your way up and then also um figuring out where to put your weight and weight distribution that is really all you got to do and then you'll learn how to walk in heels wear them often and you will figure it out but yeah your body will adjust it'll be weird at first

but that's why i say wear them a little bit because then yeah they'll feel pretty much natural um after i stopped wearing them i couldn't wear them for a while because i just was not used to it and yeah i had to restart that process of like okay kitten heel then we'll move our way up to a little bit bigger heel and then yeah also if you're drunk you really can't tell you're in heels and it's way easier to walk in anyways i don't really know if that's advice more just life experience someone asked why do i want to fucking choke someone yeah i felt that it's the residual mercury retrograde energy i feel like we're all just like tired exhausted at our wits end like we're all just like don't you dare fucking try me because i am one hair away from just losing it on

somebody you know what i mean like i'm in a pretty peaceful energy right now like i'm chilling for sure but i literally walked into work yesterday and i was like i was like to my manager i was like today is not the day to fucking try me i was about to say her name but i was like let's keep that personal i don't like saying names on here um just because i know i'm fucking crazy and i like to throw my myself on the internet and every single thought that i possibly have but i know not everybody's like that so i like to protect the peace a little bit but yeah i was like today's not the fucking day like no one even try it with me she was very sweet to me after that sometimes you just have to give people a warning um i feel like especially as humans who have complex emotions

sometimes we gotta like to the people around us who are around us and you know don't have a choice but to be around us like our parents or our boyfriend or girlfriend or like our co-workers sometimes they'll just be like today's not my fucking day and people will hear that and they'll be like oh okay yeah i'll give her some space like some people hear that and they really respect that so own it let people know you know like i will choke you out today don't try me but i love you you know but yeah post mercury retrograde hangover is settling in i'm in the mood for a nap i'm in the mood to cuddle up it's rainy out too it's like rainy and cloudy so i am in the like let's watch the prices right and sit on our phone all day kind of mood you know or like you would

like be sick and you would stay home from school and you would have the house to yourself and you just like watch csi and um like scary tv shows all day and work yourself up into a frenzy that is the energy i'm really really um leaning into today i'm also gonna have some indian food for dinner tonight i've decided that i really have been craving it so i think i'm either gonna cook it for myself or go out one of the two but very much so like warm food comforting food lay in bed chill out smoke some weed energy that is how I rest and recover especially post-mercury retrograde especially on my days off and especially when I'm in the mood to just like throat punch everyone around me you gotta approach life with peace the best you can

hey I am calling in to get your advice about a trip that I'm going on with my boyfriend so we've been dating for eight months um he is the best I love spending as much time as I possibly can with him um and any time that I do spend with him it is so I feel at peace like I feel like I don't have really a social battery when it comes to hanging out with him because um he always just makes me feel good and I love just his energy and spending time with him um but so we're going on this trip for a month we're going to different countries in Europe and we're staying in different airbnbs and we kind of just wanted to splurge on a trip before he enters the workforce so um i've never spent that much time alone with any individual so i'm kind of worried about being

one-on-one with my partner for a month even though i love him if you have any advice for that please let me know love you so much bye i think i knew i could spend um the rest of my life with my partner and not get sick of them and this is coming from a person who has really really learned to love their solitude and appreciate their independence and like loves being alone i knew that my i could have my partner around me for long periods of time um especially like a lifelong situation when we weren't we went on this first vacation together to colorado we were like maybe six months into seeing each other maybe a little less honestly um and we went out we went out there for like a good week and we came back and i did not need a day away from him

we came back from from vacation and we kept spending time together per usual kept seeing each other every single day after that i didn't need to like recuperate myself because i was around him and that's how i knew that things were good and things were gonna be pretty successful between us even my dad said that he's like wow you know you guys spent time with each other and you're not choking each other out right now that that's good you know um so that's how i knew and also the way i think we garner this and we're able to spend long periods of time around us or each other is because we used to be a little codependent but we've learned to kind of work through those things on our own and now instead of needing to spend every single waking moment

together like even on vacation we will do our own thing um so like he loves to skate he's i have always nicknamed nicknamed him skater boy um he loves to skateboard so like wherever we go he brings a skateboard with him and of course like his idea of fun is going to the local skate park my idea of fun is like going shopping so he'll be like hey can you just like you know we have a car together on vacation like i'm gonna drop him off at the skate park and then i'm gonna go shopping and do my own thing and leave him there for a few hours and then come back and so it's like we even take time to honor that alone time and honor our independent um interests when we are together and especially when we're on vacation because i get it i get that like fear of like oh my god what

if we just get exhausted of each other but it's like you don't have to constantly constantly be together like if you want to run off and go get coffee by yourself in the morning and grab coffee for the two of you while he's sleeping in boom that's like 30 40 minutes of alone time you get to explore the town if he wants to go do his special interest maybe it's golf skateboarding going to an art gallery something that you're just like not interested in let him do it but also like find something that you are interested in and you want to go explore um this place we're going to in mexico is known for its surfing like it is supposed to be like the best surf town in Mexico um and surfing is very similar to skating so he's like I really want to learn how

to surf I want to go out there surfing and I'm like I might but I feel like a majority of me is probably gonna want to go get a massage or something like that's my idea of vacation like I really don't want to be out there surfing um like I'll sit there and watch you sure um so it's like we are prioritizing our own interests and our own alone time even when together and I feel like if you're going on a long-term vacation you're a little nervous about you know just like constantly being around each other and getting on each other's nerves then you know um honor that alone time spend time alone it's okay it's okay to do those things it's okay to have separate interests um but yeah i feel like that's one of the reasons why i knew things were gonna get um succeed

between us someone asked what is my everyday makeup routine i'm actually gonna do an updated routine on my patreon on thursday because i will be doing like a little going out get ready with me makeup routine before i go to cali uchi's so if you want to see a video version go there i recently invested into a lot of new makeup items um and a lot of new things and tools that i think has really elevated my makeup game because i used to this is what i used to do i used to do moisturizer concealer and then my eye makeup and like it worked at covering blemishes and spots but i feel like it left me looking patchy or like it didn't look like that seamless foundation finish so now i and then like stuff would rub off like it would look i it just wasn't it you know

like i cannot be the girly who just wears concealer unfortunately my skin tone and like i have a little bit of like discoloration from acne scarring like i need a more finished routine but i also am very prone to acne like my skin is so sensitive to everything so i've been doing this routine for about two months now three months maybe and I haven't noticed any big pimples I haven't noticed any clogged pores um and I feel like it's been going good but a I changed to the CeraVe hydrating face wash the gentle one the like um it's not foaming because any foaming face wash is gonna have alcohol in it which is drying and the alcohol makes it foam up in that pump so just a regular hydrating face wash that has been fantastic I feel like I wake up

and then I use the like watermelon oh I forgot the brand it's like a watermelon hydrating moisturizer and it has hyaluronic acid in it I use that at night and I wake up my face feels plump it feels healthy and before where I would wake up my face would be overly dry like I feel like I had to over moisturize because I was using a acne face wash which is good on topical spots on my acne but overall my face didn't need it because it was drying it out too much but I wake up and like I don't have any clogged pores my skin looks good and I feel like the best thing you can do for a good makeup routine is make sure you have your skin figured out so that is what has worked for me so far and I'll of course show these products in the video that I'm gonna make

but then i also invest it in a primer i use the elf hydro grip primer i really like it it is um non-comedogenic so it will not clog your pores all the products i am mentioning right now will not clog your pores because i cannot use those products because i will immediately break out so the elf hydro grip primer just a little bit put it on rub it in do not put it under your eyes do not put it on your nose i feel like it creates a awful texture so just like on the base of your face it will get kind of tacky and that's when you pat it in and then you let it completely dry then i will go in with the rare beauty concealer and i will conceal in the spots that i need blend that in and then i use the glossier skin tint because i don't need a heavy foundation

i also hate the feeling of a heavy foundation so the skin tint i feel like is a perfect sheer formula i'll use that and then i will set it with the elf setting spray and then i'll go in with my powder um things i have a powder bronzer i have a powder blush the bronzer and the blush i don't know what they are um i'm sure i think they're like three years old i'm not gonna lie powder blush powder bonzer and then i use the fenty beauty um like setting powder and i think i use it in banana it smells so good oh my god it smells so good i really wanted the lavender one but the banana one is pretty good too and i'll set those areas that i need to set um and then i'll do another layer of setting spray after i've brushed the excess um powder off and then i'll

do my eye makeup per usual i use the telescopic um mascara the best mascara on the fucking planet it's like a pink tube and i'm pretty sure it's called telescopic but my friend put it on my old co-worker who has the most amazing eyelashes like the longest literally spider legs like incredible eyelashes it also helps them grow very fast i like um foundation or not oh my god i like mascara that has fibers in it because I feel like it really fills your eyelashes and makes you look like you're wearing falsies but the telescopic mascara swear by it I've been using it for years that's the one I use and yeah that's about it that's my go-to routine recently like if I'm going to work or an event anything like that I feel like that's my perfect perfect routine

this is a good question someone said let's talk about not having the ideal summer skinny body fantastic question especially with you know beach season approaching or whatever um yeah let's talk about it and i'm gonna talk about it from two perspectives a the perspective of i have achieved that ideal societal skinny standard and i also am now out of it i did want to gain weight and i gained like 25 pounds it feels good um but i've lived in both situations so let me really compare them for you i feel like we all believe that if we achieve a societal standard of beauty whatever it may be let's focus on skinniness then in turn we will be the happiest we have ever been that is just simply put not true because i've been there and guess what i was the unhappiest

i've ever been i was the saddest i've ever been i was the hardest i've ever been on my body I was also being like emotionally abused I was putting up with a toxic relationship like things were not good so if you base all of your happiness on trying to achieve this societal stamp of approval in order to obtain happiness you will be chasing happiness forever but guess what do you know where I am my happiest now in my current body I've put on a little weight you know I have more of a womanly figure I've got cellulite I've got stretch marks but guess what I'm happy I'm healthy I'm focused on my body in a positive way I'm moving it in a positive way and that is all because i stopped basing my standards on what does society want to see versus what do i want to

see for myself and once you start achieving the things that you want to see for yourself and you start setting standards for yourself and going after them and then achieving them in turn the pride and the happiness you will feel from that will be a more influential than what other people think about you because what you think about you is really the only thing that matters and b it will in turn radiate not only from your spirit but also to the vessel that you are given and in turn you will feel more comfortable and more happier about who you are body and soul okay we really got to focus on where am I wanting to receive this affirmation from do I want to do this thing for myself or do I want to do this thing because of what other people

think about me it's a valid question but I would never ever want to go back to the situation I was in where you know I would have received that stamp of approval of like the super skinny super model you know like gorgeous whatever it may be because guess what I wasn't truly happy and just because I had a good body didn't mean life was good okay I would rather have life be good you know and really focus on what I truly want for myself and what my goals are for myself rather than what other people want from me and also you know we as humans are beautiful inherently because we're all different that is what makes us gorgeous the fact that we all can come from different places that we're all born different like even identical twins have a slight differentness to them whether

it's like the way they act the way they think whatever it may be or maybe that's their beautiful um aspect is the fact that they are so similar you know we as humans we are all so vastly different and i feel like i hate that we have been really sold this idea that we all need to look the same that we all have to have the same nose and we all have to have the same lips and we all have to say that have the same fucking body because that's boring i don't i don't want everybody to look the same i love the uniqueness and the differentness that we as humans bring to life that is what's interesting about us so embrace it stop wanting to make yourself like other people and ask yourself who am I and who do I want to be and how do I make myself into that

I feel like this that's the perfect way to really go about it because I'm not gonna lie I had a little spiral when I stopped having my 16 year old body and I was now in more of a womanly figure I was like oh my god are people not gonna find me attractive anymore because I'm not stick thin skinny who cares because I was not happy I was not comfortable I was not even okay with the body I had then but now I am now I'm happy and that's really all that fucking matters your body's gonna ebb and flow it's gonna change throughout your entire life that's the one truth in it all so the sooner you kind of accept that and accept the change that it's gonna go through and also help your body through that change the easier you're gonna have it through the rest of your life

you're not gonna look the way you did when you were 16 forever you're not gonna look the way you did when you're 20 forever you're not gonna look the way you did when you're 30 forever you're constantly changing and growing not only mentally but physically so lean into that you got to learn to accept it it'll make the process of life so much easier but yeah i feel like body acceptance and body neutrality is so important um because just allowing yourself to exist and allowing that peace really is a game changer but it takes a lot of inner conversation and thought switching um and working through those thought patterns that you do have because i'm not gonna lie i just like every single one of you have negative thoughts about myself i'm not

gonna sit here and pretend i'm perfect little princess you know like of course i'm gonna have negative thoughts about myself like any other human being whether they're valid or unvalid um they're gonna come and when you do have those taking time to really stop and sit with yourself and work through them and like mentally get to a place where you're comfortable at the end of that thought process is really really important for anything but also especially for your body um and one thing that really helped me with my body neutrality was allowing myself to focus on my body but not in a highly positive way or not in a highly negative way but in a very neutral way such as like the way i'm focusing on my body is not the way i look it's the way i feel um do i

feel good not like in a oh do i look good no do i feel good like i am i doing things for my body am i feeding myself in a way that i enjoy am i moving in a way that i enjoy whatever it may be that's what i'm focusing on now instead of am i attractive because we as humans we're all attractive okay and as soon as you learn to own who you are that attractiveness starts to radiate but we're all beautiful we're all wonderful own it celebrate it and get to a place where you are focused on what do I want for me rather than what does everybody else want for me okay so as I was saying um yeah I always want a bit of an insecure girl but the past two years literally since I've been listening to this podcast like two years now my confidence just goes up like with every episode

my confidence in myself in life and things just working out and yeah it just goes up so thank you but yeah I used to wear one pieces all the time and this is my first summer where I'm actually wearing like two pieces like bikinis on and my god I get it I get the hype I'm about to place an order with Miss Sydney because god all her stuff is gorgeous and he was promoting her for song and i gotta get some of this and it's like sustainable the fuck why would i not anyway and i just can never go back to one pieces like listen if you are an insecure person out there like me like i once was stop limiting yourself i'm telling you find yourself anyway as i was saying if like stop limiting yourself like that i totally understand the fear and like i don't know it's

it's a lot to put yourself out there so maybe don't start with public like don't you don't have to jump right into going into the community pool or pool party with one find somewhere secluded i mean i live in the desert like i live in phoenix like i said so i don't know i feel like it'd be fun if i don't have any grass to test this out on nearby but like go to some fucking field and put on your bikini dude go in your room i don't care but do it it is so fun this is literally three minutes of just me talking about how it's freeing to fucking run around in your underwear pretty much but it is it's really nice okay anyway what's new with me well i just got a job and i'm gonna be moving to texas in two months i've been wanting to that for like four years so

i'm kind of excited and i got stuff to make soups tonight so i'm really excited for that like i'm just filling up the time love you bye that call and maybe giggle but i felt like it was a perfect kind of ending cherry on top for the whole bikini body conversation like yeah you can do it get out there uh yeah and a major way that i did get comfortable within my body was just allowing my body to exist alone like in my apartment just like being naked in my apartment or yeah being in a bikini but going to a little secluded area like finding a park or going out in the desert or i would love to go to the river and just exist in nature um naked fantastic but yeah allow your body to just simply exist love you there's so much i want to talk about today i think i'm gonna make

this podcast a little longer than usual because usually around this time i would end it like about an hour ish i would end because according to the algorithm people stop listening after an hour and i was like do people really want more from me but i'm gonna do an intuitive message message here and i want more from me and i want to sit and chit chat a little longer than usual so i'm assuming other people would like that as well so let's let's keep diving in and with that being said i'm also gonna smoke another little bowl here so now is your moment to prepare prepare your little bowl um god I wish this weed was a little stronger like once again $40 for an eighth and it's a mid like it doesn't even get me that high like I'd have to smoke like four bowls

to feel any of this sad sad day anyways let's hit this yummy someone asked how to enjoy your 20s and fucking up when you're a self-perfectionist i feel like when you're a self-perfectionist you're actually really limiting to yourself you're not achieving as many goals as you could be by having to do everything perfectly um so allow yourself to fuck up and like you have to keep telling yourself that and also take intentional fuck ups like do i know that sounds bad nothing where it's going to cause anybody like harm mentally or physically or yourself mentally or physically but allow yourself to make mistakes and take on risky ideas that you know could be like a like a gentle mistake in order to kind of

like microdose fucking up you know in order to get like okay with it because like any behavioral change it's gonna take doing it a few times in order for your brain to be like oh this is okay you know so if you're like a extreme self-perfectionist and you're not putting yourself out there as much as you can or do then start simply start maybe it's like reaching out to a person that you have a crush on or you have interest in um and allowing them to say no you know that could be like a mistake or a quote-unquote fuck up but it doesn't cause any bodily harm it's not really that big of a deal and you can easily move on from it or it's like maybe um you i don't even know but it's just putting yourself out there and allowing the situation to take its turn whether

positive or negative and then working through it a mistake doesn't have any inherent value okay there's no such thing as like we exist by a point system and you're gonna lose 10 points and now you're at a b average and you lost your a plus status like no that's that's not how we exist as human beings we ebb and we flow with the energy and the ideas that we have and we work with the experiences that we have that's all we can really do as long as you are working towards a positive path working towards things that you want working towards things that you truly know are good for you and trying to do that usually things will go your way but if they don't don't take it too personally and allow yourself forgiveness that's really all i gotta say someone asked sounds weird

but how is eating ass pleasurable for afab people i don't really understand um and afab means assigned female at birth but i like is it pleasurable for us to receive or is it pleasurable for us to give either way all it really is is a kink and if you have it then inherently it's pleasurable if that makes sense like i i think your question is probably like um like if people are assigned male at birth then they have a prostate and then in turn that is inherently going to be like a pleasurable spot question mark um so like of course that makes sense but you know women don't really have that so how does that work it's just like it's just like any sort of kink like some people have it some people like suck it on toes and that's

like what gets them off some people don't same thing with eating ass it really is just like do you have that kink yes or no and if you don't then you're not going to probably like it and if you do then you're probably going to enjoy it and it's going to be pleasurable i hope that made sense oh my god you guys i got new nails and i have to give a shout out because this bitch put in work okay she put in fucking work so her handle on instagram is uh nails by meg so um oh my god my my high one of my friends from high school is friends with her and then he posted her like nail art on Instagram this is I'm telling you the process of how I just found a new fantastic nail artist so I saw him post her nail art on Instagram so then I followed her nail page and

then she posted that she was open for bookings and I was like I feel like she gets it like I saw a few nail designs that were super complex and I am a complex girly like the more the better and me and my old nail salon were just not really vibing because the thing with nail salons versus nail artists is the salons want you in and out in an hour like if you go over an hour they're like bitches other people behind you we're trying to get this shit done like we're trying to get the most the easiest design on you in the shortest amount of time possible but also like get it to you're liking and get you out of here which is good like if I go and get my toes done or I want a simple little manicure like nothing crazy fantastic it's a seamless process you aren't

you aren't there forever it's good but for me who is doing the most constantly and any sort of possibility ever like I want intense complex nails and I saw that she was doing these so I just hit her up i was like hey girl can you do these nails and for nail and so i always find them on instagram just on my explore page or on pinterest and i usually find like three or four pictures that are kind of different a little different but sort of what i want maybe like one has more rhinestones or one has a more complex design but they are all using like the same colors i want like they all have something similar but something different and i'll use those but i sent those to her and she was like oh my god i cannot wait i love doing colorful designs i love doing complex

stuff and i was like she gets it she gets it she understands and last thursday i went over to her house her little studio and she ate this shit up these nails i don't know if you can hear me these nails are the best nails i have ever had in my entire life not only were we sitting there chit-chatting like watching victorious together but she was putting in work these are they are perfectly shaped they have like eight different colors and three different colors of rhinestones on each nail she went out and bought specific rhinestones for me and specific like a perfect barbie pink color for me she bought me coconut water to keep in the fridge so i could sip on it at my appointment she went all out and then at the very end of it she tried to charge me $35

like bitch I'm not paying you $35 I'm paying you way more than that like she ate this shit up so I'm so excited to provide so much nail inspo for you guys because the things that we can work together with like her magic and her thought and like my thought and my creative ability is going to be so good and i literally cannot wait she was so sweet but yeah go support if you're a casey girly go support posted her on my instagram so you guys should be able to find her pretty easily but yeah these nails oh they were like my birthday nails so it's like they have to be good i really got to find a good artist and i had had my other nails for a month and a half like they were grown out they were so grown out they were so bad and i really was just trying to find somebody good and

i'm so glad that it worked out but she was so sweet and it was a fantastic experience um but yeah i i'll find all my inspo on pinterest and then the best thing that you can really do is find a good artist for your nails and they will make sure that you are looking good every single time but obsessed with these someone asked how do you smoke without allowing it to take over your day i need impulse control help you have to look at it as like a little treat like if you eat cookies all day long that is not healthy but like a cookie for a little tree is healthy and normal and fine so your weed is your cookie and maybe you have your cookie at night because it makes more sense and you like to save your favorite thing towards the end of the night so that's

when you have it maybe it's a oh i like to have my cookie after lunch because i have nothing else going on after lunch and i just have to sit and chill around my apartment maybe you'd like to have your cookie before you go run a bunch of errands and you need a little sweet treat before you do that one thing but it's most importantly is you can't have a cookie every 30 minutes anyways yeah impulse control you just have to understand that you have to use it when it's necessary um and also don't keep a lot of it on you i feel like when it comes to impulse control like if it's around then you're gonna smoke it um if you really want to cut it out of your life then the best thing for your impulse control is to only smoke it with when other people have it

um and then obviously throw them money weed tip number 101 if someone is offering you weed always always always like if it's a lot like of course some sometimes people are nice and just like here here's a joint i am such a giver when it comes to weed and i love giving and giving to people like i love smoking people out it's like yeah take a dab please hit my blunt you know i love that shit um but also i have been the friend who it's like okay but you're coming over for a smoke sesh for the fourth month in a row and we've been doing this every single day like can i get 10 bucks from you so whenever like somebody is smoking me out a lot um and you like sesh with friends often i always am just like hey can i give you some money for this and they have the right

to say no they have the right to say yes whatever it may be but either way it's like hey can i help out and a little bit you know can i offer you something in return whether it's money or whatever it may be like hey i'll bring the papers buy them a new little little pipe to smoke out of gift them some old pieces but i found when i was very very impulsive when it came to weed just smoking whenever my friends were around was a pretty good way to deter my control and now or control my impulse and then now it's really looking it looking at it as a treat today's my day off and also i like sessioning with you guys so yeah i'll smoke all day whatever but when i have other shit to do and like i gotta be productive oh it is just like at night like

around dinner time that i start so you gotta look at what is the best time for you when is the best time to have your cookie someone asked what is my spotify playlist for solo sashes so if you look on spotify my um username is smoke sash one word i believe yeah one word smoke sash that'll be like my personal profile compared to like my like smoke sash two words my podcast smoke sash one word and then it'll be a picture of me in a bunny hat from like three years ago um that is my personal profile where i keep all my music and all of my playlists are public but i have i make like a new playlist for every month or like every season so there's a lot on there and i've had spotify for like three years i used to use apple music but i think spotify is superior i'm sorry and that's

someone who loved apple music and had it for like six years like from the first time i got an iphone to like 20 and then i've only had it for three years since but yes spotify smoke sesh one word me in a bunny hat my current go-to playlist is let me see let me see what is it it's live love your life one word um but yeah enjoy i'm scrolling through all the questions right now just trying to see what else i didn't cover what else we should talk about and a lot of the questions recently are should i break up with this person should i leave this person should i cut this person out like like kind of like relationship issues and here's the thing if you are asking me which of course is a self-help podcast but if

you're typing in reddit if you are googling things constantly if you are asking me questions about relationship interpersonal issues you are probably just like me and you are probably an anxious avoidant person I am such an anxious avoidant person um I don't know if it stems from childhood or past relationships um I think it stems mostly from my past relationship because I used to be a very confrontational person like if I had an issue with somebody I would bring it up immediately I would say it with my whole chest but then I would start saying it and I would have like a negative repercussion or it would become my fault in some sort of way like he was a narcissist so he had a very fantastic way of like flipping it on me so that in turn made me feel like any sort of issue

or problem I had with another person was a my fault but b also I shouldn't bring it up and I shouldn't address it and I should just like end everything and move on if that makes sense but let me tell you this when it comes to interpersonal issues or issues that you have with other people the way I live is if we have an issue then I will be aware of it but if you don't tell me what the issue is and you don't make it abundantly clear so then I can fix it and we can grow and move on and i can do better as a human being then i'm not aware of it so we don't have an issue and i forgot that i also need to approach people that way oh my god silly me i you have to tell people if you have an issue with something that they are doing whether it's

a friend whether it's a parent whether it's you know um like a partner you have to let them know so then they have an opportunity to fix it to grow to solve the problem if you have an issue with somebody and then you hype it up and hype it up and hype it up but never tell them about it and then that becomes a breaking point for you and then you leave them and then they're leaving left confused on what even happened because they thought everything was going okay then you might be the problem you might be the problem because i've been the problem um so you really have to speak up for yourself tell people when you have a problem and i know it's anxiety inducing you're scared what are they gonna think but the one truth is you have to be honest with people the best thing

you can do is not only be honest with yourself but be honest with people so tell people how you're feeling and then and then you can deal with how they feel about it you can't put into your head oh they're gonna behave this way oh they're gonna they're gonna do this thing oh they're gonna no no once you get off your chest how you feel then you adjust accordingly based on how they react so instead of what i shouldn't have done in the past when i brought up how i felt and then you know my ex would flip it on me i and then would take it i'd be like no he's right yeah oh my god I'm completely convinced no I should have been like you're fucking crazy I'm telling you how I feel and I'm gonna stand by that emotion and you not acknowledging and validating it is a deep

psychological issue going on within you and maybe you're not a good partner because of that I should have had the whereabouts to understand that and know that I didn't at the time you got to have life experience to learn it but then comparatively to like the relationship I am in now like if I have a problem and even if it's hard for me to speak up and say if i say that he will hear me out allow me openness to speak he won't you know step over me and be like no you're wrong and then guess what he adjusts his actions accordingly because he wants to stay with me and he wants to make me feel good and he wants to support me and he understands that yeah we all fuck up but that's just an opportunity to grow and change and how we feel sometimes is right that's the difference

between a healthy and unhealthy relationship that's the difference between healthy and unhealthy communication you have to a be brave enough to stand up for yourself and say what's bothering you no matter the relationship no matter how big or small and b you have to really navigate how they react if you say something and they're just like oh okay whatever and they blow it off make it your fault you know flip it upside down and then don't do anything about it then they probably are not a good person for you to be around but if they hear you out allow you space to speak and they actually understand that yeah they might have fucked up and then they make adjustments accordingly to make sure that you have been not only heard but they are going to adjust to make

you feel accommodated that's a healthy relationship okay and the only way to work through this anxious like avoidant attachment is to work through problems that you have instead of constantly running away from them be brave enough to speak up be brave enough to say something and then you can deal with how they feel but you can't put into your head that oh they're gonna hate you forever if you say you have a problem with them okay who cares that's their fault that's their issue all right you've got to speak up for yourself so then people have an opportunity to change and grow and make space for you in their lives the same way that when people have an issue with you you can't constantly think that people have an issue with you walking around

every single day oh my god everybody in the world hates me that's not a way you can behave or live so unless somebody makes it clearly apparent to you that there's an issue then you're gonna assume that everything's okay but you have to trust and understand and hope that the people around you are brave enough to speak up and say what's on their mind so then you can be the best friend or best partner or best person that you can possibly be the same way that you gotta speak up and tell people when you have an issue you can't run away forever you can't make your yourself the scape but the scapegoat forever or make yourself the problem forever you gotta understand that communication is key no matter the relationship always okay second time's a charm um but the vibe

for the week is sensory deprivation I have a sensory deprivation appointment tomorrow going to do that and it's kind of a way to feel like myself again I've been feeling like super off and kind of sad and I feel like it'll help me get back to me because I have a lot of things that I have to do um but any advice on how to feel like yourself again like is there anything that you do um to get yourself back on a routine because I definitely have not been following in my normal routine um but yeah have you ever done sensory deprivation if you haven't what are your thoughts on it interested to know oh my gosh i saw you type this into the instagram question and i was so curious so i'm glad you also sent a call in um love that the vibe is sensory

deprivation that is so funny it's not funny because it's like i love it but true the vibe is sensory deprivation like i just want to chill like i just want to chill and escape a little bit and literally putting yourself in a deprivation tank is like the ultimate way to experience that so i love that you're honing in on that energy and finding something to help you divulge a little bit um but no i've never done it i've always been very curious i would love to try it sometime maybe this is my sign to go give it a little try maybe call back in um after you do it i would love to know the experience but i feel like when it comes to connecting back to myself um i just have to always look inwards and ask myself what did i used to do that brings me a lot of fun that i

haven't done in a while or if i feel like i'm caught up on everything what's something new i have been wanting to try that i can divulge in a little bit those are the two best ways to connect back to myself but love you i hope you have the most fun ever that sounds like so much fun i've been meaning to get to one um but there's not a lot in my area you got to go out to like the rural areas um to like someone's house to do that i don't know if i'm down for that maybe you'll visit a city one year that has a cute little sensory deprivation you know like more available but I hope you have a blast someone asked could I ever forgive a cheater and here's the thing it's always situational and we all have different standards for what we can tolerate and what is

okay within our relationship but for me personally no I could well I could forgive somebody for doing that, but I could never, ever, ever continue being with them. Case in point being, I feel like not cheating is a very, very, very bare minimum standard to have in a relationship. It's one that every relationship has. If it's monogamous, you know, you are together, you are dating, which inherently means that you do not look outside look elsewhere and if you can't even hold the standard of that bare minimum standard then how the hell are you gonna really really take care of me when it comes to the bigger standards that I hold in a relationship the more complex ones the more the more necessary ones if you can't even do that bare bones one

how the hell are you going to do anything else for me period period and of course you know there's different types of cheating whether it's physical mental whatever it may be but for me count me out i would rather go through the heartbreak of moving on from a person that hurt me and growing and finding someone who won't because there's plenty of people out there who will not cheat on you i guarantee there's a whole sea of them okay you just happen to end up with a bad one i would rather go through the heartbreak of moving on and growing and finding someone else who will actually give me what i want than the heartbreak of having to stay with that person and put up with that heartbreak for the rest of my life and have to deal with it anyways yeah i don't think i could

put up with that i don't think i could stay with a cheater i can forgive people i understand we all make mistakes but keep those mistakes away from me someone said i feel like i'm constantly stressed unless i'm high any tips to chill out sober yes a chill on the caffeine or find a caffeine that's non-anxiety inducing such as green tea fantastic fantastic way of indulging in caffeine without heightening your already I'm assuming pretty severe anxiety now if you're like me and you just wake up and you already have anxiety coursing through your veins getting you ready for the day then the best thing for me to chill that out without constantly being high all the time is CBD I know I know I talk about CBD all the time I get it but I do think it's a fantastic and wonderful

product especially for us who like to consume a lot but also we're trying to consume responsibly it has a really miraculous way of like you know when you smoke and then you feel that kind of euphoria but then it also has like a heightened um psychedelic sense on top of it remove the psychedelic sense and only focus on the you know chillness that you get from smoking that's what CBD causes it's really not going to affect with your brain it's also not going to affect with your body it's very much so just like a relaxer a chiller it's not going to keep you locked on the couch but it's also not going to keep your brain going a million miles per minute it's going to help slow you down a little bit which is nice especially if you're a high speed girly like me

you know and very anxiety induced like me love CBD for a little like morning mid-afternoon snack and of course PazPak's favorite CBD you can use code smoke sesh for 10% off you guys already know this but I like to add that in there if you guys don't know what CBD companies to trust or to buy from they're the only people I really buy from and the only people I trust when it comes to like quality control and what they're putting out there they really care about what you're consuming and are trying to make your consumption the best possible experience ever so yeah i love them love their gummies especially someone asked finding creative hobbies outlets while working full-time good question um hobbies are very important and you have to have them um but i

understand also having a difficult time especially when you will work full-time and you're exhausted afterwards in order to make hobbies stick you got to find hobbies that bring a heightened sense of escapism like a little escapism is healthy you can you can microdose on escapism it's okay I understand wanting to chill and you know not do anything but there's also hobbies that allow you to do that so maybe it's knitting and you get to sit and watch your favorite show and knit and then have a productive product at the end of it maybe your hobby is running where you get endorphins heightened you get you know that feel good feeling but also you're moving your body and you are listening to a podcast you don't really have to think it's a nice form of form

of escapism maybe your form of escapism is cooking it's I'm going to put on a show and I'm just going to cook and have something to do with my hands while also having a good finalized product it doesn't matter what it is if it allows you to escape for a little bit of time then that hobby is most likely going to stick and it has to obviously be something you're passionate about something you're inherently interested about but I feel like the ones that really last a lifetime are the ones that allow us to escape out of this big world that we're living in and escape into the little world that we've created for ourselves and that is beautiful but it takes trial and error like anything you gotta try different things you gotta pick something up and hate it and put it

down and pick something else up in order to find the thing that it's that's gonna truly bring you that healthy form of escapism once again healthy very healthy a hobby is always a healthy form of escapism but yeah love you anyways i feel like this is basically gonna be the end of our podcast i know i know oh shit sorry i was reaching for my water speaking of let's take a little hydrate break i know you're dehydrated bitch take a sip okay actually don't sip chug chug your water for a second okay oh god anyways this has been really fun i hope you enjoyed this little extra special little longer episode it's been really fun hanging out with you guys today this has really been the only thing on my to-do list my i gotta get this shit done list um and i had a fantastic time

chit-chatting with you thank you for everybody who submitted questions thank you guys for being open and honest and vulnerable vulnerable with me this episode i hope you had a blast um and yeah there's a lot of big things coming if you want to see any vlogs any video content feel free to follow me on patreon believe it's under at hannah marlene um there's so many fun things coming to that not only to that but also to this podcast and you can catch up with me on instagram at hannah marlene as well um but with that being said i gotta get this out to you guys and i love you i will see you all next tuesday