Smoke Sesh - summertime sadness, sensuality & discovering yourself

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

hello all and welcome baaaack to another episode of smoke sesh my name is Hannah and im so excited to be here with you all on this beautiful Tuesday! we have a lot to catch up on this week such as what ive been up to, pregnancy scares, bad dreams, summertime sadness, boredom, daily walks, mental health matters, building sensuality in yourself and feeling sexy, when he arrives too fast and learning to slow down in bed, bedroom communication, discharge and what to do when its too wet, birth control fear mongering and the power of choice, right person wrong time, platonic love, who am I? and discovering yourself, do opinions matter and learning to listen to yourself, spiritual protection, fast days slow life, disappointment in life and redirection, running away plus much much more! if you want to submit your questions every week and see what im up to follow me on instagram at hannahmarlene, see my vlogs on YouTube at hannahmarlene444 and see more content from me every week on the patreon at patreon.com/smokeseshshawty ! stay sane and see you soon! MUAH

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You've got questions. We've got ancestors. Search free until August 31st. Visit ancestry.ca for details. Terms apply. listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you could call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all

hello hello hello my slutty little podcast girls welcome back i don't know if i'm allowed to say that within the first 10 seconds of an episode you know what we're testing our limits we're testing our boundaries today today's gonna be a bit of a silly fun sexy slutty episode if i'm gonna be honest um I'm just in a silly goofy mood and I feel like I've been a little too serious and I need to lean into the whimsy the joy the craziness that life sometimes is so why not do that with you guys here on the podcast a few things to catch up with I released another vlog oh my god Hannah is working what Hannah's creating content yep creating content over time for you guys so if you want to see a little thrift with me plus thrift tips and tricks go check out my

vlog youtube channel hannahmarlene444 i don't know if you watch this on spotify or youtube but i do have a separate vlog channel go check it out my next one i think next week i'm gonna do a baked and baking episode because people do really love my like reels my recipes which i do have two of those coming out this week i know crazy crazy wild but i think i'm gonna do a baked and baking like full length take you from start to finish talk it out work you guys through it kind of recipe i think that'd be fun a little vlog moment for you guys and like i said two new recipes coming out this week as you are listening bright and early this Tuesday morning I have a fantastic recipe to beat the summer heat oh my god as if I'm like on a food

network commercial are you guys ready for the recipe to beat the summer heat um it is a mandarin popsicle recipe I've never made my own popsicles before so easy literally could not be more simple but instead of just doing a plain fruit popsicle I then wrapped it in fruit by the foot froze it and then covered it in chamoy and tahini it is genuinely the best thing i've ever eaten in my entire life if you need a fun little silly recipe to make with your girlies to make with your friends to make with your boyfriend to make alone to make with your cat easy fantastic 10 out of 10 recommend and then since the 4th of july is coming up do i necessarily participate in that holiday no but do you know what i participate in hot dogs i do love a hot dog i'm going to be

making four different hot dogs four different ways because why the fuck not so that should be up on the 4th of July for you guys as well much many fun things coming I've just been really enjoying making content and connecting with you guys in that sort of way I realized like yes I love doing the podcast every Tuesday and Thursday for the Patreon girlies the Patreon girlies also get the vlogs about five days early okay they get them um on wednesday bright and early so if you want to see the vlogs or just support me in general plus get extra content every week where i answer every single one of your questions on a patreon exclusive podcast um join that patreon.com slash smoke slash shawty we have so much fun over there but i've just been having so much fun

making content and getting creative and you know forcing myself out of my comfort zone a little bit I feel very very comfortable with you guys here as you can tell with some of the conversations that we have and the topics that we discuss this is like a little safe space for me I've been doing it for such a long time I it's just like ingrained in my routine at this point so much so that if I don't do a podcast I feel like I didn't you know fully live out that week so I was like you know what let's switch it up let's add some more things in let's keep hannah busy so she doesn't go fucking insane and get institutionalized again let's make some vlogs instead you know instead of dealing with those demons um so yeah hannah marlene 444 on youtube for vlogs every single

week i think i'm going to be uploading them on sundays if there's a different day that you think works better i'm down for that as well i literally have no preference um and then also if you have any vlog ideas please let me know you guys i had the most terrifying dream last night ever um i told my boyfriend that i woke up i was like oh my god i had a bad dream and he was like are you okay like was it me cheating on you were you like being chased by a killer with a chainsaw were you being tortured were there demons no i was pregnant i was at this day and age pregnant it and genuinely I woke up crying which is so shocking because then I opened my Instagram to see the first picture on my feed being somebody I went to high school who was pregnant and joyous

and you know what good for you not to hate on pregnancy in general but for me right now in my dream the the reason I was so stressed out as I was contemplating I was like oh my god like do I you know do the deed and get rid of it or do i keep it like oh my gosh what do i do but also like going through pregnancy right now would be just like ugh not fun like oh my gosh there's so much to choose from wow being a woman is hard and i know i'm having these dreams because i'm ovulating right now we as women are just way too aware of our bodies truly like why can't i feel my egg leaving detaching from my ovary and traveling down my um ovarian tube like that fallopian tube sorry that is so scary to me to the point where then I'm having like fear-mongering

dreams of being pregnant there is something about turning 25 or being in your mid-20s that your body also starts to stress you out a little bit more about being pregnant because like back in the day bitch by 25 women would have had 10 plus kids by now and probably maybe have died like that's insane to me but it's so ingrained into like almost our dna that my since i haven't had 10 children and proceeded to die in childbirth my body's stressing out like girl what are we doing what are we doing like leave me alone let me be a hot girl let me live my best life i'm also an aunts like I love being a rich fun aunt who can just buy them whatever they want whenever I'm with my niece and my nephew do they ask my parents for something no do they ask their parents for

something no they turn and they look at Aunt Hannah and they're like a bitch buy me that right now and you know what my card is coming out faster than I can even think like yes absolutely but having to deal with that every single day is just not my cup of tea shout out to the mothers out there because truly you do not get enough recognition you do not get enough you know celebration and support so props to you for going through all of that creating a life inside of you that's super fucking cool and then proceeding to have to deal with that for 18 years that's amazing of you shout out is it my journey right now no but my god did i wake up last night like where's my baby like why where's my baby I had a baby in my dream where's my baby terrifying terrifying

thank you brain and body and hormones for that sleepless night that was fantastic but like I said we have a fun little silly episode today get into the craziness of it all to jump right in let's talk about summertime sadness I've been having some questions recently like I just I haven't been doing anything and I've been inside and I don't know what to do and I'm just having a hard time how to get out of a several month long funk I am tired of being tired you and me both girl you and me both I think it truly just takes for any sort of problem that you might have you will have that coming to Jesus moment where it's like I can't fucking do this anymore with my depression i was like at a point where i was spiraling so much that i was like i just i'm

exhausted of being exhausted i can't do it anymore i can't do it anymore or like in my drug addict era i'm like holy shit i can't keep waking up like this and treating my body this way and not eating enough food or not sustaining my brain in any sort of way like i'm over it whenever you kind of have that realization point there's two options you either a realize it and then keep doing the bad thing over and over and over again and never grow and then just be stuck in this cycle forever oh talk about a jump scare or you have that realization moment okay it's kind of I think it's harder to get to that realization moment than it is to actually fix what the problem is but once you have that realization moment I think you owe it to yourself to turn

your life around and to do the best that you possibly can to come out of that place to enter a new better safer more positive space in your life so if you are sitting here in your bedroom which hi happy to be here with you thank you for listening to smoke sash hopefully i can bring you a little bit of joy but if you're like holy shit i have not left my bed in days i only see the sunlight through a barely cracked window barely cracked blinds every day I am bored I'm tired I feel like I am losing functions of my legs because I haven't moved in forever I hear you I see you I understand you summertime sadness is a real thing especially when everybody else around you seems to be doing everything especially everything perfect it kind of puts you in a place where it's like

well god damn i'm doing nothing and i feel bad about myself because i'm doing nothing so let's do something does it have to be being on a yacht in italy no does it have to cost you a million fucking dollars no do you have to be outside all day no let's start simple you know what has genuinely transformed my life and i know i've been talking about it for a while but listen wow did it have positive effects walking going on a walk it sounds so simple or if you're in the throes of depression sounds very very hard either way but it does have a transformational way of helping how you process how you think and how you interact with the world around you me personally this all started when I was walking my parents dog I was going on three walks a day

and then they came home all of a sudden I'm not doing any walks and I'm realizing holy shit those three walks a day although I was like I don't want to go let me go put my shoes on again and do this oh my god I just ate dinner it's nine o'clock now I gotta go walk the dog like this is such a nuisance a pain in the ass once I stopped doing it I was like oh maybe subconsciously I was really looking forward to this and it was really truly helping me and making me enjoy life again hmm wait a minute wait a fucking minute you don't have to have the best brand new shoes you don't have to have the perfect walking outfit what I do think you need is well a a comfy outfit be a pair of shoes that you can wear I was doing most of my walking in flip-flops so literally

anything that's comfortable see what truly truly makes the walking experience perfect a pair of headphones yes I was doing all my walking with my parents dog without headphones because oh my god that girl's fucking crazy like i had to have all attention on her at all times but if you're alone i mean safety first please be aware of your surroundings a pair of wired apple headphones is like ten dollars on amazon having that now and going on walks truly i feel like i'm in my own little a24 coming of age teen movie and it's making me romanticize my life way more than i ever have and pulling me out of the throes of my summer sadness my summer depression like no other yes you can always go sit on your patio or sit on your front porch sit on your back porch

whatever it is absolutely but i do think movement is key for this and i hate there's nothing worse when you're like overly depressed and you're sitting in your therapist's office i literally just had this experience which is why i know and the first thing they ask you is well what activities are you doing are you working out bitch what the fuck did you just ask me how dare you i just told you i can't even shower and you expect me to go to the gym around other people no no no no no no that ain't gonna work unfortunately it is coming from a place of like they do know better they do know that it will help you not only is it going to release those release those happy chemicals in order for your brain to feel normal again and actually feel positive for a change

it's also going to help you maybe work through those thought processes see the world around you outside of just yourself or your closed off circle and experience a world that is more vast and enjoyable than you ever have before i highly recommend you can romanticize your life in any way if you have a pair of headphones on a good playlist or a podcast hey smoke sesh every tuesday with hannah um and just like some greenery some nature some sunlight on your skin now i feel like if i miss a day of walking even just one walk i'm like losing my goddamn mind i'll work a eight hour shift wake up in the morning and go on a walk in the morning because i know that i need it and i know that i feel better afterwards if you need a simple tip to break that summertime sadness to

feel like you are participating in life being an active participant in life that you are living life similar to those maybe not as similar as those you're seeing on your instagram feed or your tiktok feed but still an active participant in life and enjoying it in your own special way get outside go on a walk do it now put the podcast down put your shoes on put your headphones in put the podcast back on go on a little walk okay around your neighborhood around a park wherever it may be you deserve to be outside in nature to experience the world around you you would be surprised the beauty that the world can give back to you also you may have noticed my new hair if you're an audio listener I have been curling my hair more often I know I know I say no heat

but something chemically changed in my brain when I watched the Sabrina Carpenter man child video and I know those are her natural curls and I do not have natural curls like this although I wish i did i would be getting a perm but my hair would turn to jelly and fall out of my roots so that's just not gonna happen um i i love a curl i love a curl i am obsessed with this hairdo i think it makes me feel so sexy and i think it also ties into the next question we have how do you get back into your sensual self i feel like i lost my sexual side me too especially after winter where I was kind of just holed up inside in baggy clothes no makeup hair a mess like not really connecting with myself then summer came around and everybody else feels so connected with themselves

and I feel like I've lost all sensuality or even just sense of self in general to feel sensual sexy my key is you have to be sexually attracted to yourself you need to like physically be attracted to yourself to build that sensuality you don't want to build it from an outsider perspective oh will he think i'm sexy will he like what i'm wearing will he like my hairdo or she will she like my hairdo no no no no no do you like it okay do you think you're sexy are you comfortable or do you feel cute do you feel hot that's what we gotta base it on okay so if you're building up a sensuality around yourself or you want to feel more sexy more divine more goddess esque ask yourself what are you attracted to okay how do you feel sexy what do you like on yourself

instead of this weird outsider perspective because i was starting to do that as well where it was like what are they wearing what are the other girls doing how can i be more like them and sometimes when you are trying to be so much like someone else or so much like a trend or so much like whatever else is outside of you it completely completely disconnects you from yourself it really kind of pushes you further away from yourself so instead of asking what are they doing ask yourself what do you want to do what do you want to look like and thus I saw the Sabrina Carpenter music video and i said i need that hair now the girls have been asking for a hair tutorial don't worry it's coming i promise it's way simpler than you ever could have imagined but please if you're

going to use heat on your hair use heat protectant please you don't need to be burning your hair off i'm begging you i'm begging you i'm begging you when it comes to looks it also comes to clothes okay what do you feel comfortable in what do you also feel attracted to how do you like to present yourself what is wearable for your day-to-day life that's how you build that sexuality sensuality around yourself instead of around a outsider perspective if you build it around an outsider perspective it's always going to look a bit off you know what i mean those it girls that you think of those girls that are all over your pinterest page they are there because they are them and in that, there is beauty. Now, when it comes to the sexy side of things, I think a lot of us also kind

of view our body a lot, you know, when it comes to like sensuality and sexuality, our body, our pleasure, how we view ourselves in that sort of way. And I talked about this before, but I do think we need to get used to our naked bodies. We do. We do. When's the last time you've spent time with yourself naked outside of the shower outside of getting ready I kind of tricked my brain into being aware of my body in a very neutral state but also loving it by allowing myself to be naked more often I am the naked neighbor unfortunately oh my god and I have a story about that so the other day I was walking into my kitchen and I'm gonna make me a little coffee whatever I'm up to and I look over and I have I literally literally had to pause because I was

like have I talked about this before anyways I saw a full moon full moon full butts from my neighbor's window and I was shocked I was like oh my god but I couldn't how can I blame a girl you know when I am also doing the same thing not as openly like it was like whoa oh my god bright full moon white full moon anyways I went on about my day you know close my curtains let me give them some privacy like three hours later I went back into my kitchen still there and it was like full moon I was like who do they have naked standing in the corner of their kitchen after that I was like okay I have to look a bit closer it was a mannequin why do they have a full nude mannequin in their kitchen I'm not sure it is giving like iCarly house definitely but it taught me to mind

my own fucking business a little bit more and also like wow my my walls are see-through like people can't see into my apartment let me be more strict about my blind usage and if i am gonna walk casually around my house naked let me at least close the blind allowing myself to be present in my body and not in a sexual manner not even in a sensual manner just in an existing manner helped me build that sensuality inside myself and that care for my body just by understanding it and being aware of it okay instead of feeling weird and confined or you know just at odds with my body me and my body were able to become one once i was comfortable in my nakedness i was able to be comfortable in anything it doesn't always have to be in sensuality but i do think also spending time

alone naked in sensuality is important i just did a vibrator giveaway i hope you girlies got your vibrators i love you so much someone dm me and was like my rose toys on the way period queen i also think understanding what you enjoy sexually and understanding that power behind yourself and being able to give yourself pleasure is beautiful is amazing and will help build up that sensuality within yourself also self-love is everything build up those self-care routines okay i do a lot of self-care i really do i think taking care of my hair is self-care um even just like dressing myself up is self-care doing my hair so i feel better is self-care even doing my makeup is self-care you know it's fun it's artistry putting together an outfit is really beautiful artistry

feels like self-care doing a face mask exfoliating dry brushing sometimes it feels like a chore yes but I do try and look at it from the perspective of like I want to do this to myself I want to enjoy doing these things to myself these are choices that I'm making that are maybe you know more aesthetic choices but things that I do intentionally and I have learned that I enjoy doing these things because I stopped doing them for a while like self-tan I stopped shaving for a long time especially like my armpits I stopped you know dressing up I stopped doing these things that made me feel good and it helped me understand okay you know if i didn't want to do them i wouldn't do them but i do feel called to do these things so when i do do them i look at them as an

act of self-care instead of like a oh i'm being forced to shave kind of way once i stopped shaving you know accepted my body for how it was naturally i realized you know what i do like some really buttery smooth legs can you blame a girl like i do enjoy it and thus i'm able to engage in that activity in a self-love kind of way instead of oh my god i have to fucking whack away these weeds again like just do things that make you feel good and be intentional about them ask yourself am i doing these for society or am i doing them for you for you you know have those conversations with yourself it's important but yeah engage in more self-love more often i think we forget ourselves a lot especially when the world is spinning and spinning faster and faster like

it's okay to stop pause slow down and treat yourself a little bit like the goddess you are oil yourself up give yourself some self-love get in a hot bath take time for yourself slow down accessorize be intentional and be aware of who you are and what you feel called to that's how you build sensuality and sexuality oh i shouldn't laugh at this but my boyfriend comes so fast to help i don't know what to do or how to make him last longer for both of us illy well uh you know you got to get off too so i understand how this is a problem but less of a problem than if he couldn't and you were just like fucking for hours and you're like goddamn bro like what is going on this i think is easier to work with than like the he can't get hard he can't come fast or can't come

at all sort of situation so at least look on the bright side there there are ways to get around this as in literally do not touch him until you get off like straight up if you know that it's not going to last long and he can't control himself which you know it's sometimes it's kind of hard i understand that too like when i orgasm sometimes i feel it coming on and i'm able to like you know slow it down a little bit and sometimes it completely takes over does take a lot of self control to keep it from taking over um and that's maybe something that he can practice in his own time if you are a fan of that but when it comes to ways that you can help yourself which I think is the question you're asking um yeah I would just be like what did Tokyo Tony say get on your knees

and eat this motherfucking pussy now like straight up I would just be like hey babe listen I'm gonna need a little bit of help here I'm gonna need you to focus on me a little bit this could be a conversation this could not be a conversation sometimes you can look your man in the face and be like i'm gonna sit on your face for a little bit you know it's cute you know you're kind of asking kind of telling if they don't want that they'll tell you but like it is important to speak up for your needs it's hard to say don't come so fast because he might get a little insecure and you know what if you make him a little insecure whatever that's on him i can't just say it nicely but also I think it's easier to be like I'm gonna focus on my pleasure a little bit

so let's not just jump right in and go straight p to v because you know that's gonna make him freak out in that sort of way like let's take it slow if he tries to rush things you know switch position switch it up be like no not yet like let's enjoy our time playing around for a second like incorporate toys okay incorporate different positions make out for longer so you can kind of build it up a little bit and if it really really is a problem like i'm talking seconds seconds seconds then that's maybe a conversation you can have with him where it's like hey bro i need a little bit more i need i need a couple more minutes please like i love having sex with you and I want to have longer more sensual sex I think that's an okay way to ask it's a very mature way

to bring up that conversation without hurting their feelings where it's just like I want more from you and no offense I can't have you flopping over 30 seconds after and this is why I say communicate in bed I think it's hot sexy super fun to get into dirty talk so then you're able to tell where they are at that point in time in sex instead of just being like oh it's over I didn't even know you know so it's like they're able to be like oh my god oh my god i feel so good i feel like i'm about to come so if he does say that you can take him out of you and like be like okay let's switch positions let's give you time to cool down to relax for a second before getting back into it so you're able to have that open stream of conscious conversation throughout

the sexual experience which will then keep you both on track with what you need and yeah maybe break out some toys break out some fun little things get into the playfulness of it all before jumping right into sex how do you deal with discharge i hate having soggy underwear okay pussy too wet i hear you two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Across Canada in a Volvo.

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there's a Volvo for everyone. Learn more at volvocars.ca. i am also a put this on a t-shirt i'm a discharge queen i am uh actually after my iud i feel like it's not so not as bad but i remember when i was younger pre-birth control because i didn't start birth control until probably senior year of high school so like freshman sophomore junior year of high school oh my god oh my god oh my god not to talk about teenage hannah that way but like goddamn bitch like i would have to change my underwear in the middle of the day like what i would have to wear panty liners just for my discharge and it wasn't just like um during a

specific you know time in my period speaking of i do want to make a this is a series that i want to do on youtube where it's like eating or treating myself how i should during this week of my period and then this week of my luteal phase this week of my ovulation phase i think it'd be fun and i do you think i need to lean more into reading my hormone levels and participating with my body because my ovarian cysts are out of control like genuinely i feel pregnant with two ovarian cysts like it's crazy anyways anyways anyways back on fucking track when i did get on birth control it did help um mediate maybe some imbalances and hormones and thus my discharge wasn't so out of fucking control because bitchy was out of control but there's little ways you can kind of chill on

that and that is a you know bring an extra pair of underwear with you change it out if you feel like it's getting a little too wet down there like i remember i would probably wear one pair throughout school and then it's like okay i have to go to my sport now like soccer cross country let me change out of that underwear put on new underwear and then once i get home and shower put on new under that's three pairs in a fucking day bitch sometimes it's what you gotta do when you gotta ushy gushy i can't blame a girl you know what i mean or panty liners love a panty liner a very thin simple panty liner you can throw in if you don't want to go through that many pairs of underwear and then you can keep it in they're not as breathable i will say a panty

liner is definitely not breathable but if it's a real problem or you're like i don't need to be dealing with this right now throw a panty liner on you know what the pro is of having too much fucking discharge if you ever sleep with somebody they're gonna be like oh my god you're just so ready for me aren't you like you're just so fucking wet this has happened multiple times to me oh my god you just you're just so horny for me aren't you like you're so wet you little slut oh careful careful and it's like no bitch fully just discharge yeah i mean makes it easier i guess but that is a funny occurrence that you probably will happen or like oh my god words hello words are hard that probably will happen to you so at least look on the bright side there but i feel you

there's genuinely nothing more overstimulating than like wet underwear i'm like oh my god get off wet clothing in general I'm like no not gonna work for me speaking of birth control everything I've read about birth control sounds terrifying I don't know what to do girl I think that's complete fear-mongering personally how I view birth control especially as somebody who just woke up from a pregnancy scare dream birth control is protection especially in this day and age like i said we think about the women who came before us who are literally having 10 plus fucking children before the age of like 28 like hell on earth like that's fucking insane to me i mean if that's your choice that's your choice and i love that for you but they didn't have a choice it's just what

happened and now we do have a choice birth control is self-care birth control is protection i think there's a lot of fear mongering when it comes to birth control and I think the fear mongering hurts my soul because it's keeping women maybe off birth control and not giving them that choice because they are scared I think you can always there's so many different options out there okay one size is not going to fit all same thing with everything with diets with workouts with clothing with literal pants like not everything's going to fit you the same way it fits another person like i have a friend who has the arm implant and she knows that the arm implant is like perfect for her it's fantastic it works super well with her and i know if i got the arm implant i would

become a crazy fucking psycho bitch because my body cannot process hormones that way unfortunately when i was younger birth control was still you know all the options were still very new so what I was going through was a very very much like trial and error process but now that so many different kinds of birth control have been out for such a long time there's so many more studies there's so many more so much more understanding of how this works and how it affects our body that in my brain I think right now probably birth control is the safest it's ever been truly and i genuinely think that because i was there when my doctor was putting in a iud for the first time fucking ever and that was at planned parenthood she was like oh first iud

insert insertion like let's go this is exciting hello first one ever for you doctor yeah archaic when i got my second iud she's like this is the bajillionth iud i've ever put in and it's like fantastic thank god we have more understanding and awareness of this so you're able to make the decision that fits you best how you take care of your body is your prerogative but i do think women now have a choice and i think that is very very important and i don't want you to give up your choice over fear if you don't want to do birth control and that's your choice i mean that's your choice please stay safe and make sure you are not having just unprotected sex and especially not unprotected sex with ugly deadbeat men but i know who i am and i know i'm a messy slutty little

bitch who is probably going to make mistakes here and there who can't take a pill on time and has a hard hard time with hormones i knew the iud was the right choice for me i know you know it's not the most ideal but neither is a fucking child so please weigh your options go to a doctor that you trust talk with them with what you're looking for you know maybe get your hormones levels read see what works best for you fully go over all the options out there because there's a bunch and i guarantee you will be able to make the right decision for you but i think right now truly because we just have more understanding and experience in the world of women's health care now more so than ever birth control has to be the safest it never has been i mean if you think about

it sure it's going to be safer in the future duh i really hope so but for now there's so many options out there there's so many different ways that you can protect and take care of your body lean into those listen to those and like i said some things that work for your friends aren't gonna work for you so listen to you and your doctor always but i can't with the fear mongering the fear mongering actually pisses me the fuck off because like women will spread like lies about birth control and it's like you are just convincing women to not protect themselves and not take care of themselves and that is so scary to me like we have a choice please utilize that choice please utilize that freedom especially now more so than ever when literally i can't get

an iud a new iud placed in the state of missouri because they consider that like an abortion like backwards crazy shit like now is not the time to be fear-mongering and i argue if you're fear-mongering over birth control you are probably very right wing and you guys know i don't fuck with that that's for sure thoughts on right person wrong time very real very real indeed um sometimes and i think this is like a very common relationship issue that people get into in their mid-20s i don't think it happens so much when you're younger because usually it's like right place wrong person i mean in my experience personally um but when you're older you know you can fall in love for the sake of falling in love but you that's not gonna keep the love alive you

also need to be growing on the same path have the same ideals have the same morals kind of like mesh on a place where it's like we can see each other growing 50 years down the future and if you meet the right person but it's the wrong time as in like this person can't be in a relationship right now they need to focus on school or someone is moving across the country whatever it is that's getting in the way that's very real and it is something that I think a lot of people go through especially in their 20s when it is in regards to relationships and it's very common and it's very very hard I think the hardest breakup ever is right person wrong time breakups are easy when it's like toxic oh well not like easy I understand the trauma of it all but like when you can hate

somebody and you can hate what they did to you it is way easier to get over than like you know what they really didn't do anything to me and I still love them and I hold a lot of love for them it's just it's not gonna work out that's hard that's hard to get over but if you're able to understand what you need and what you are going through and where you're going and maybe a relationship's just not gonna work props to you for being mature enough to know this and to not drag another person along and to honestly you probably just love them enough to know what they need and what they deserve and maybe that is not the position that you guys are in but i do also believe when it comes to right person wrong time that eventually you could meet again you know eventually

down the line you guys could fall in love again you could meet back up you could grow and have a life together I think there's so many endless opportunities in this life and so many different ways to live life you should always put yourself first and your dreams and your desires but if something comes along the way and meshes well with that who are you to argue with the universe who are you to argue with the position that you're in in that moment but yes right person wrong time very real a lot of it is just about growth and sure you guys can meet in one place but if you're growing separately it's just not gonna work and love love is important in a relationship but i do think you need to be growing at least on the same level for it to stay compatible in that sort of

way do you believe you can fall in love platonically yes absolutely and i think a lot of people are not falling in love platonically and settling for mediocre relationship love instead i think a lot of people fall in love with shitty men when in reality they just need a good group of friends around them that they really really love and in fact i argue if you don't love your friends then are they really good friends you should be platonically in love with your friends absolutely i would lay down and die for my friends the same way i would like a partner or a loved one or a family member you know what i mean and i do think a lot of us go searching for these or end up in these mediocre relationships at least i have in the past it's like girl you didn't need to be

with that shitty awful man you just needed a friend you just needed someone to rely on and to love platonically and you were unable to find that in that moment or maybe not brave enough to look for it and so you settled for a surface level shitty kind of love and i think if more people surrounded themselves with platonic love they would find themselves getting in less bad relationships because a you're not searching for that need to be seen in a way that is very desperate you also have a good group of people around you who are able to see what's best for you and tell you signs or symptoms of things that maybe aren't good for you especially when it comes to romantic relationships and searching for quote-unquote the one you have that group of

people to kind of vet those people and tell you maybe you shouldn't be falling in love with this man maybe this man is shitty when you don't have that group of people around you and that platonic love behind you you're gonna have those rose-colored glasses on and everything's gonna look good okay i argue more people need to fall in love platonically and followed by that then you can fall in love romantically but we need to be working more on our platonic relationships and friendships more so than our romantic relationships if you know me you can find love anywhere anywhere truly if you look hard enough you can find love but i do think a very special and amazing and lifelong kind of love that follows you wherever you go is a platonic kind of love absolutely

you guys you guys i wish i had all the answers someone asked who am i girl you and me both that mid-20s psychotic break it truly is hitting me not psychotic break let's let's redirect um frontal lobe development it really has you questioning like okay but wait who the fuck am i the urge to run away to the mountains and go off grid and live in the forest and like turn into an appellation which is truly higher than ever like i have the desire to just like run away and find myself but i understand that that is just not the best decision for me so i'm trying to do it in a healthy more sane way here i actually shared these journal prompts with my girlies on the patreon we do a spiritual sunday where other it's like journal prompts or spells

whatever it may be and they were just journal prompts to kind of help you a get in touch with who you are now and b get in touch with who you want to become so let me read off a couple things about um that you guys can maybe write down or ponder within yourself first how do i hold myself back what ways are you kind of self-sabotaging what ways are you neglecting your true self how are you holding yourself back what parts of yourself do you love the most i think it's important to address that there is good always and there is probably parts of yourself that are helping you succeed and thrive right now that you will want to carry on for the rest of your life okay you don't need to change completely and you also don't need to just focus on the negative

or else arguably you'll probably turn into a negative person so let's focus on a bit of positive as well what parts of yourself do you love the most and then who are you becoming who is the woman I aspire to be tomorrow how about in a month a year or five years from now I talk about this whole okay look five years ahead and ask yourself where you want to be I think it's a really important check-in I think it's a great way to dream and to also keep yourself on track when I was younger my parents would be like five-year plan what's your five-year plan what's your five-year plan I'd be like stress the fuck out because bitch I can't think that far ahead it truly is a practice that you need to kind of put in place though because arguably you

should be able to dream a little bit and at least look five years ahead to the future and if you are unable to it feels like a challenge that's okay treat it as like a creative writing process dare yourself to dream a little bit to think outside of the box you will be able to imagine a bright future for yourself how can you align your daily actions with the person i want to become maybe it's a simple morning routine such as like maybe i want to cut out caffeine and i want to drink more tea maybe i want to implement more walks or more working out maybe i need to change career feels you know go big whatever it may be what are little shifts that you can do right now that can put you on track to becoming her and sure thinking it through and these journal prompts

won't solve everything I do think you can dream a little bit to become that future version of yourself or to have an idea what steps you need to take next but to understand and to truly know who you are you are never going to be able to think yourself into a perfect person to think your way into your dream job to think your way into the beautiful state that you want to live in or the beautiful home you want to live in we think a lot we do a lot of thinking thinking thinking we're very intellectual internalized people especially if you listen to this podcast I know you guys live in your head way too much but truly truly if you want the real answer here on understanding who you are and learning who you are it is through action and living side by side

with the world you will never be able to know who you are until you get out there and you're brave enough to live in the world to experience the world around you to have real life experiences real life understanding and yeah sometimes that comes with good you go out you have a great night with the girls you're having a great time wow life is good and amazing and beautiful and I'm able to live side by side with it and learn a little bit about myself sometimes it's bad sometimes you're like oh I went out and I drank too much or I partied too much or I went and I made a mistake I did the wrong thing we talk about making mistakes in the last episode but it's okay through those mistakes through those trial and errors through living with the world you

were going to be able to learn more about yourself than you ever would thinking yourself into a perfect person thus me being like I need to run away to the mountains and live outside I am feeling that call from the wild to just be out in nature to be out in the world to live with it and to be able to learn about myself through that I thought you know maybe I'm having those feelings because I'm unhappy or maybe I'm having those feelings because I'm not doing enough maybe I'm having those feelings because I'm just in a place that I don't like no I think I am in a place that's beautiful the world I've created around me is fantastic I think I've just been inside too long and I've been in my head too much thinking too much it's important to get out to be in the world

to live with it to experience it to celebrate it to make positive changes to make mistakes and to learn from those things truly if you want to know who you are you have to get out and do things it doesn't matter what those things are you can start small going on a walk that's why i talk about that so much such an easy simple task to get yourself looking forward to things and to be one with the world around you then you can move up to like maybe taking a class maybe going to a little diy craft class going to a workout class taking that new college class you've been too afraid to try going out to a new restaurant alone going out and trying new things this is a big reason why i wanted to start vlogging too because i knew it would challenge me in a way that is important

challenge me in a way to be out in the world more often to get out of my house to try new things to implement new ideas and new creative abilities in my life and to live side by side with the world around me be brave in that way and hopefully share my braveness with you guys so you're able to engage as well you know i think it's important to i mean talk the talk but bitch you gotta walk the walk and that's how i've been feeling about me lately i'll sit up here and i'll chirp chirp chirp yap yap yap but bitch are you living that life i mean i am mostly but like i do need to get out of my house more often and i need to be out in the world more often and i say yes to more things and try new things that is how I discover who I am that's how I manage this process a little bit

easier and that's how I grow into that dream individual that I want to be and I know it's scary I know it's terrifying I understand you and I hear you but you cannot live a life in fear you cannot let your fear dictate the life you want to live or else you will be a shell of a human being you have to feel that fear but do it anyways and you got this we all got this it's all a learning process so don't get down on yourself and please for the love of god don't let that fear dictate your life there's so much beautiful life to be lived and world to be seen all you have to do is be a little brave go out after it from that you will develop into the beautiful individual that you want to become and feel so much more in tune with yourself than you ever have felt

how do you let people on the internet not get to you that's interesting i don't know this has been something that i've dealt with for a long time not just the internet but just outside opinions and even if you don't create on the internet you might deal with a lot of outside opinions as well um when i was younger i was a person who based my entire life on outside of opinions um i always lived in fear of making people upset or angry I was a major people pleaser never a personal pleaser like I never pleased myself I was always looking to how can I receive validation how can I make people like me how can I blah blah blah blah arguably maybe that's because I didn't get enough attention or celebration in my childhood I'll bring that up with my therapist been loving

therapy recently as well but i spent a lot of my time living for other people living for other people's dreams living for other people's ideas and finally i had a breaking point i would say i lived that way up until the age of 18 18 i was in college for nursing and i had a breaking point i realized holy shit holy shit holy shit i can't live like this for the rest of my life i'm going to have the biggest most mental breakdown of my entire life I don't want to do nursing I don't want to be here I'm in a city I don't like I'm living a life I don't like and I'm so exhausted and tired of it that I had no choice I was in that moment that I talked about earlier where you have that coming to God moment where it's like holy shit I don't like what I'm doing

do I just stay here and suffer or do I be brave and make the change that I need to make in my life in order to live the life i want to live and you know what i was brave as fuck and i decided i am done living for other people i'm done living my life that way i am done putting myself aside and from here on out i owe it to myself to have that dedication to listen to myself to listen to my intuition and to listen to what i believe in myself that that will make any sort of outside noise completely bullshit in my fucking opinion okay because i knew at that point in time i had been living for everybody else's opinions everybody else's ideas everybody else's dreams and god damn did they suck they sucked all those things that i was living for they sucked the

opinions the ideas about me the dreams they had that shit sucked but you know what didn't how i felt about myself how I dreamed and the life that I wanted to live that didn't suck because it came from me came from what I believed it came from my dreams my values my opinions and at that moment I had a realization of anything outside of me holds no value genuinely genuinely I mean yes critiquing is important art school taught me that you need to be brave enough if you're gonna live a odd lifestyle or just be who you are you need to be brave enough to present that in front of the class and have some critiques some people are going to look at your art and be like that's the ugliest thing i've ever seen even though you put 25 consecutive hours into that piece of art blood

sweat tears literally some people are going to look at it and be like ugly i hate it and you know what that's okay everybody is able to have their own opinions you go through an eight hour art critique and i guarantee you will have that opinion as well i'm just like well i don't really give a fuck you know I did what I did I'm proud of it as because I did it and that holds enough within me and some of it's going to be valuable lessons sometimes it's going to be people like I really enjoy this piece thinks it needs a little bit more balance a little bit more color a little bit more whatever it is some people will critique in a very honest and real and helpful way but when it comes to the outside noise that is unhelpful judgmental hateful that is just noise and if you

live your life trying to appease the people outside of you that genuinely want nothing good for you you are going to live a shell of a life and that is not a life that i want to live that is not a life that i want to uphold or value in any sort of way and so i just let noise be noise you gotta let noise be noise especially when it comes to maybe you don't experience this online but you experience it with family members when family members are critiquing you oh well you're not married yet i get this a lot oh well you're not married yet you don't have kids yet yeah catholic side of my family best believe oh you're not married yet oh you don't have like a quote unquote office job you haven't achieved the big things cool yeah maybe that's what you believe

but i know deep down in my heart i've achieved what i wanted to achieve i know i'm successful and I know I'm happy and the fact that I'm living for myself and making sure I am taken care of and that my values are upheld and that I like myself anything else around me that anybody else tells me literally washes over me like water like it is what it is sorry you feel that way or congratulations not really sure but you cannot let that affect you I think it is spiritual protection or honestly just protection of your soul protection of your true self is not letting other people's ideas values opinions loud ass fucking noise and then i hear this nagging degrading voice you know that tiktok audio literally like you cannot let it get to you you cannot let it interfere that bubble of

what is who you are and how you feel about yourself it's spiritual protection to take care of your opinions of self of your intuition of self of how you want to view yourself and live your life it is spiritual protection to not let outside noise get to you genuinely and i think that is real true true self-care is making sure that you are confident in yourself you are acting in a way that is leading towards your true intentions and your true self and from that anything else that anybody says outside of you will not harm you will not hurt you or will not have any sort of genuine lasting effect on you honestly girl fuck that noise my intuition is louder than your hoe ass opinion period two in five canadians will hear the words you have cancer

that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer foundation walk challenge yourself friends and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research together we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer register today at pmcfwalk.ca you know what i have something that's been pissing me off lately and it kind of has to do with me but also the world around us there's been a lot of chat gbt ai discourse blah blah blah blah blah i think people are tired of doing hard things and i think that's embarrassing i argue we need to be doing more hard things i think life should not be easy because if it's easy then are we really learning anything

no we're fucking not okay i've realized all the little things that like my grandmother taught me how to make a pie crust from scratch how do you you know like deep clean your house how to take care of yourself all these little things that take time and effort and understanding are being completely lost because people are afraid to do hard things people are afraid to do hard things they want to go buy that pie crust in store and have it done in 30 seconds we are losing what it is to live life we are losing that understanding of what it is to live and enjoy life if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast do hard things you're probably living life too easy not just don't take the easy route okay read make art exercise cook a

meal from scratch journal do these things without distraction put your phone down cancel the chat gbt without being absorbed by a fucking screen or a black box the time will stretch and you will be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so if these days are blending into one another if you are spending 12 plus hours on tiktok and feel like you're not living your life it's because you're not you're not taking time to intentionally slow down live a slow life and genuinely, I think this is something that I really want to change about my life. I do so much within the realm of like creation and what it is to make content. Absolutely. But making more vlogs has taught me that when I interact with my phone, it can be an artful way. I don't need to be scrolling

online constantly. In fact, scrolling online constantly is keeping me from doing these creative individual things, from cooking a full meal from scratch, from going out with friends and not being distracted by a screen from reading fucking a book when's last time you read a book front to back i remember when i was younger guess what screens weren't around we only had our weird living room family computer that i was only playing cool math games on our dress-up games which would only hold my attention for about 20 seconds i remember i would sit down and i would read a book front to fucking back in one night to the point where my parents were taking my books away from me because they're like but you have to sleep I miss those days I miss living a slow life

I miss waiting for the fruition of something instead of just having something so readily available I think our lives are moving so fast or we feel like we're not getting any satisfaction out of anything because we're not being forced to do things the real hard raw way we owe it to ourselves to build a life that we're proud of that we feel like we are successful in that we feel joyful of and if you feel like you have any bad habits or you are not participating in life in an active way you owe it to yourself to make that change to you know switch it up to live more intentionally to be intentional about the way that you are moving in your everyday life to take your time to slow down to enjoy to savor that's what life's all about and yeah i think we are moving

way too fucking fast and chat gbt does piss me off and yes i do hate ai don't ever show me no ai oh also update i didn't get the house uh i truly truly truly i think it's because i didn't piss in the front yard and i know that's fucking crazy but i know i'm not crazy actually i take that back it's not crazy because multiple people commented under that episode and were like no literally like we took a shit in the house and we immediately got it you were so real for that you were so real there is something that spiritually will tie you to that house if you pee in it or like mark your territory and i didn't do that because i was what too scared i'm tired of living in fear like i said i should just went pissed in that front yard i didn't get it that's okay the person who wanted

it wanted it really bad i bid like 8k over asking price and i think someone bid 30k over the 8k that I already bid so you know what if you're gonna bid almost 40k over asking price which is fucking fucking fucking insane I you go ahead and you got it girl I don't know if there's any amount of piss that's really gonna change that but like wow wow I was in a three day long oh my god my nervous system was a wreck three day long bidding war with four other people came down to me and the other person because i wrote a love letter if you're ever trying to buy a house write a love letter oh i can't wait to raise my family here and i just really see the artistic value and integrity of the building whatever it is write a love letter they read my love letter it was an

artist who lived there previously she loved it she wanted to take me into consideration unfortunately money does talk most of the time but i was not about to bid 40k over asking price that's actually fucking crazy if you want it that bad you go ahead i just pray they don't tear it down because it truly was such a beautiful beautiful space um but i guess we can talk disappointment yeah i was pretty disappointed um when i was younger i would face disappointment and it would debilitate me for weeks on end sometimes months especially if i didn't get something big or i was really getting my hopes up disappointment would eat away at my soul to the point i would become a shell of human being and it would take forever for me to crawl out of that grave that I essentially dug

for myself now that I'm older I understand more so in the abundance of life and that I do truly trust in the universe's timing and what is meant for me will work out for me I understand when you build up that dream you visualize something whether it's a job a relationship a house where you're like oh my god I cannot wait to live the rest of my life with this person and then bam it's just like pulled out like the rugs pulled out from under you and you've broken up and you're like oh my god now I have to refix my dreams or oh my god I've been really really wanting this job and I made it's the final round interview and I can definitely see myself being here it's my dream job my dream company I know it's made for me and then bam you don't get it I feel your disappointment

I understand you but listen you cannot let disappointment control you you cannot let your losses control you or else you're gonna be a loser like genuinely genuinely I realized a lot of my younger years I was a loser because I made myself that way oh I didn't win the game I'm a loser I'm gonna sit and wallow for weeks on end oh I didn't get this thing oh I'm a loser I'm just gonna be a shell of a human being now we don't have no fucking time in this life to be losers okay you either get it or you don't get it and if you don't get it you'll get it the next time so it's not worth wallowing in your sorrows over disappointments is real you're gonna go through a lot of disappointment in life but if you let yourself only live your life according

disappointment that's gonna be a pretty shitty fucking life so you might as well you know have your cry have your moment of disappointment wipe away what is the dreams you had that were written on the psychological whiteboard in your brain okay let your tears stay in your pillow for a little bit I did have a really good depressive cry that afternoon once I got the news my realtor is so sweet he was like I'm really really sorry I did try my best I was like dude you got 40k like it's okay I you're definitely fine we'll get the next one and yeah I definitely could have seen myself living there but now at that moment I was like it was perfect for me it was everything I ever wanted blah blah blah blah blah now I'm like a week outside of that disappointment and I'm able

to realize you know what there were things that just like weren't the best they weren't perfect although in that moment I felt like it was the perfect most amazing option for me now that I'm outside of that period of time and I allowed myself some time in between it some grace some forgiveness dreaming a little bit outside of the box after that creating new hope I'm able to look back at that moment in time with a fresh pair of eyes not with these rose-colored goggles or glasses and I'm able to see you know what there were some little things that weren't gonna work out sure great big old house fantastic garage greenhouse for painting but it was on like a whole acre of land what I'm gonna get a writing lawnmower and mow my entire yard I mean yeah

that's what was going to happen but like wow that's a lot what am i gonna do with 1900 square feet of space i don't need a house that big like that's a lot to take care of a lot to clean there were no showers there were no showers like i am able to now realize holy shit this would have been a big project it would have been a lot for me it definitely was not the space that i needed to live in as an alone individual like it just wasn't going to work out and sometimes the universe knows better for you although you in that moment think oh my god this is perfect this is amazing this is wonderful this is everything I've ever wanted I need it I need it I need it I need it the universe knows what's best for you and if you don't get that thing you have to trust that

there's better out there there's something more special for you there is a better opportunity for you there's a better option for you you have to trust in that belief that everything will work out you cannot trust in the fact that everything doesn't work out for me or else literally everything won't work out for you and you will be a loser like i said loser is not you know an aesthetic thing or it's truly defined by you feel a lack in your life and yeah sometimes you will feel that for a moment but you have to rebuild it you have to add an abundance okay even if you are facing disappointment you always have to lead towards abundance i didn't get it but i know something is better in my future i didn't get the thing i wanted but i know there is better coming

to me i know there there is something more perfect out there for me and i trust in the universe and i trust in its timing and i trust that everything is working out in my favor amen you have to lead into the abundance lifestyle the abundance mindset or else you will become a shell of a human and i know this because i have been that shell of a human before and my god is it just a exhausting way to live life truly and i don't want any of you guys to ever be exhausted from life i've been there i know how debilitating it is and i want you to know that there is magic that there is abundance that there is a life to be lived out there that is good for you that is amazing for you and that is meant for you take some time to search take some hard work to find it take some

hard work to understand yourself but the more you try the more you get out there the more you trust in yourself the easier time you'll have finding it i know i'll find a house eventually and you know what that did suck that i didn't get it that's okay i know there's more out there there's better out there and what is meant for me will find me but yeah disappointment is real you will face it in life you can't avoid disappointment it's just it's gonna happen no matter what what you whether you want it to or not what you do with that disappointment and the redirection you take from it is how you define who you are don't be a loser anyways i was kind of living for that house for a while. I felt like a majority of my spring and summer was me looking for houses, trying to

find houses, blah, blah, blah. And I realized, you know what? Redirect, redirect. It's not going to work out in the way that I wanted, but that's okay. It doesn't mean I need to stop living life and not doing things that drive me. So time to give into a different call of the void that I'm feeling, which is I need to be in the mountains. I need to run away. I was going to do a solo trip. here's the thing the life you want you can only create it so I was like hmm do I sit here do I just think about it and then go into winter and be like damn I didn't do anything or do I go do something I genuinely was gonna do a solo trip to the mountains and just like camp out there alone for like a week I was thinking about driving to the Tetons that's too far but I can make a drive

to Colorado I was like I think I'm just gonna go to Colorado for a week and just like isolate myself in the woods for a little bit of time reconnect in that sort of way to nature see some beautiful views love me a mountain truly love me a tree love me some bird noises love me a campfire meal bitch give me a gas station hot dog i'll be fine um but my friends are so sweet and this is why platonic love is so important because when you are having these moments of emotional need there are people out there who can fulfill it and my friends are like well we'll go with you yeah fuck it we'll go with you i can take a week off whatever so me and my friends are now planning a like rocky mountain trip in august i'm very excited i cannot wait to be out in nature again

and to live life and to just kind of be in a new environment i think it's important to switch up your environment every once in a while and to travel and to share it with people you platonically love and i love my friends endlessly and i love that they're always there for me it truly does make life easier to live if you don't have to live it alone it takes time finding those people it takes going through bad people going through some good people to find your right tribe and i'm glad that i have found it finally i feel very thankful for that but there are things to look forward to there are ways you can pivot and life is always giving if you are able to look for the abundance in it all so yeah i'm really looking forward to that sure there's disappointment but

there's always good things you can take out of it and new good things to create period anyways I love you all so much hopefully this was a fun little inspirational episode for you all hopefully I was able to answer your questions to the best of my ability I'm still in the mood to do like a crazy episode like an unhinged episode so fuck it let's do a confessionals next week we're going into summer we're halfway in it's just getting hotter and crazier and sexier and sluttier so let's do a summer confessionals episode next week i owe it to you guys i know you guys love those episodes so why not let's get a little crazy we deserve it and i have some confessions for you guys as well i know i convinced last week that i was smoking cigarettes again but thank you

guys for standing beside me and like you know what girl the world's crazy you can have a little cigarette here and there you're so right you were absolutely right thank you i appreciate that but if you want to see more from me like i said vlogs out every week on my youtube vlog channel hannah marlene 444 if you want to see them early i am uploading them early on patreon patreon.com slash smoke slash shoddy i also do a episode every week exclusive on patreon where i answer every single one of your questions yes every single one of them i think last week we had like 35 questions i sit down i answer all of them period so if you need your question answered come join we have a good time i also um share things from my tumblr my personal tumblr my

personal pinterest um with you guys there spiritual sundays we go over journal prompts different spells if you want to get in touch with your spiritual side i share my tips and tricks there and follow me on instagram i have two new recipes coming up this week for hot dogs four different ways because as you guys know i am a hot dog lover for life but with that being said i love you all so much stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of

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