Smoke Sesh - taking risks, hyper independent & burning it all down

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

hello hotties and welcome back! we have a lot to talk about today as the energy is wild and high this retrograde, so we chat about being incredibly busy, taking risks, making a change, burning it all down and starting over, apocalypse, what to do when the world ends, prepping, global warming, living it up, living life to the fullest, the big O, having O's, better O's in the bedroom, bedroom communication, negative people, dealing with complainers, standing up for yourself, combative people, evil eye, online posting, ego death, being successful online, rumors vs reality, tripping, escaping reality, best trips, chemistry in relationships, dancing, does size matter, hyper independent, asking for help, acts of service, how to tell if you really love them, choosing yourself, being selfish, putting yourself aside, listening to your heart, settling down, finding a real job, growing up, glamour tips and tricks and much much more!watch the vlogs on YouTube at hannahmarlene444join the patreon! new episodes (and more) at patreon.com/smokeseshshawtysubmit your questions and call ins every week on instagram.com/hannahmarlene

listen everybody needs a fairy godmother you know just somebody to look out for them some people call me their fairy smoke mother others their internet big sister but you can call me hannah the host of smoke sash so come hang out let's light up and talk everything there is to life the good the bad the ugly the embarrassing i've got a story for it all hello hello hello hotties of the world and welcome back to the internet's favorite smoke sesh or we'll actually be smoking today oh my god you guys oh i have like a real day off this mercury retrograde i feel like while others have maybe been having more physical chaos like there's people in my life where it's like transmission gone in the car phone not working hot mess of a love life

like everything going wrong going wrong going wrong i rebuke okay it has not been affecting me that much externally but i have been affected mentally raise your hand if you've been affected mentally by this mercury retrograde okay i feel like my mind has been all over the place so i'm so excited for this mercurial kit to finally be done by the end of this week oh it's gonna be sweet smooth sailing the rest of the summer is gonna be so beautiful so fun but I don't have a lot to cut you guys up on because I have just been so busy running around doing little like you know self-made billionaire things just kidding one day maybe I've really just been painting i've been oil painting in my house getting outside when i can working here and there it's been so

fucking hot out it's just it's always hot out it's mid-july let's be honest i need to get to a pool still it's big on my list i honestly might go do it after this podcast we'll see how much energy i have we'll see how non-verbal i get from the smoking and if i do want to enter myself into a public setting but i do want to let you guys know there is a new vlog up okay if you have not been taking care of yourself during this mercury retrograde or you need something fun to watch some inspiration for some self-care i just uploaded a self-care vlog on my vlog channel you guys and it's been getting so much love so thank you thank you for watching um i'm kind of new to the vlog world even though i've been doing it for almost a year now i still feel very new i

still feel like like i'm finding my space finding my flow and it's just it's been so fun to kind of like expand my creativity past like 60 seconds videos and do like 40 50 60 minute videos and edit those so thank you to everybody who watches genuinely from the bottom of my heart i have so much fun over on youtube but if you want to watch that that's on youtube at hannah marlene 444 um any extra content you want to see extra episodes every single week can't get enough of smoke sesh want to join the smoke sesh crew come join on patreon patreon.com smoke sesh shoddy we have a lot of fun over there you're gonna see not only extra episodes but also the vlogs early plus much much much much much more content on mondays i upload uh things that i find

inspiration inspirational for my personal tumblr and pinterest so if you're ever curious what i'm finding inspiration what i'm leaning towards to kind of like you know rejuvenate and get excited about life that's where you'll find it sometimes i feel like if i don't have a good ramble at the beginning of an episode about my life i feel like i'm not living my life to the fullest but truly i i am welcoming the calm cool energy of not remembering any chaos so we're just gonna get right into the questions we're gonna have some crazy questions going on today we're gonna kind of enter the og smoke sesh era where we just talk about getting wet and wild and living life to the fullest because you guys have had some crazy ones i'm sure you've had some crazy thoughts crazy

feelings especially with this mercury retrograde so i want to get into it the the scary the spooky the midsummer halloween vibes like let's dig up those old skeletons and let's get into it okay this is a good one to start off with you know we'll just set the vibe right advice for being stuck in a job that you hate being broke and not being able to afford friends whoa whoa whoa sounds like you hate your life so here's hannah's tips to not hate your life anymore baby you gotta burn it all to the ground the world's burning we gotta burn with it unfortunately so um i am also kind of in this place where it's like holy shit i'm losing my mind i've been doing the same things over and over and over again and like is it good sure you know maybe you're a little

bit more unhappier like job sucks situation sucks where I live sucks friends suck okay cool fine there's also another side of it where it's like uh I've been doing the same thing over and over and over and nothing's changed like it's cool it's fun but I'm not growing I'm not growing nothing's happening same place that you are technically with just a little less misery you're not growing you're not changing there's not newness there's not excitement um you feel stuck where you are baby you gotta burn it all to the ground this is me being precautionary with my words universe please do not throw me a fucking curveball baby i can't handle it but i truly believe when you find your place yourself in a place where

you're like i need someone get me out of here girl you gotta burn it to the ground and start over you gotta kind of get delusional for a sec and go okay let me just like jump forward five years from now to the perfect situation to the perfect environment perfect friends perfect job and start trying to like slingshot yourself into that area so maybe it's like um let's start with the job thing i hate my fucking job okay well what do you have to lose you're working a shitty job you show up to your shitty job every single day sure you can quit and not have a job or you can get delusional update that resume and apply to every single fucking job in every single area that you want to live okay you need an excuse to move you're like i can't move i i can't move to

a new city i can't move to a new place you know they're not gonna hire me i won't have a job there bitch then start applying to new random cities fuck it you might get one and it might be for a server position it might be for a hostess position yes maybe another shitty fucking job but it'll give you that slingshot to get to a new place to regroup your life to refresh it to change it up you never know what's going to happen but you have nothing to lose with this okay and dare I say the fear of change should be less fearful to you than the fear of staying the same like the fear of staying the same is what actually gives me the heebie-jeebies it makes me like my skin crawl it's what keeps me up at night it's like i need to develop i need new things going on in my

life if i stay here forever baby it's like being in a psych ward and it's like is here awful no it's not the i mean it's not the worst fucking thing i've ever been through but also it's like i need newness i need change and that means taking a risk letting go opening yourself up you know putting yourself out there trying for new things fuck it like i said what do you have to lose you're already miserable what are you gonna do become more miserable probably not probably not if anything i've learned by burning my life down which i've done many different times and honestly the one thing i really um i really appreciate about younger hannah is she was quick to set shit on fire and move on she was quick and it was a bit impulsive it was like no i'm dropping

out of school no i'm applying to school no i'm moving back home no i'm moving over here no i'm moving out like it would just be so random and so on a whim but once I get an urge there's not a lot that can really stop me and I feel like I've lost that edge I've lost that like um fire in my heart a little bit as I got older I've gotten like a little scared so if you're young and you have the inkling to move on to change to kind of uproot your life to try something else do it okay you still have that fire burning in your heart and not like I don't like of course we're gonna follow through we're gonna develop we're gonna change it's gonna take a little bit more effort but if you're young you genuinely do not have a lot to lose i'm gonna be honest with you you will never

regret trying to transform your life or to change it in any form because it's like what you're gonna stay here and suffer forever or you're gonna take the risk of listening to yourself and developing and trying to become new which usually i'm gonna be honest with you always works out it really does does it work out in the way you always desire no not always but it always works out in a way that you're thankful that you made that decision no matter what so if you hate your fucking job go apply to 50 jobs today fuck it you know refresh your resume send out a make a good ass cover letter send out 100 million fucking emails to all the hiring managers show up in person if that's what you want if you hate where you live bitch fuck it sell your shit off figure

out where you want to live pack up a u-haul move across the country if you hate your partner if you're not fulfilled by them break up with them temporary heartbreak is going to be something that we all go through no matter what at some point so you might as well just rip the fucking band-aid off you know get into your single era trust in yourself follow through with what you need you will never regret it but if you sit here and you suffer and you you know you just like tend to your wounds you know what I mean like you lick at your wounds it's like yeah you're gonna be in pain for the rest of your life why would you be in pain for the rest of your life I kind of came to this conclusion because it's like sometimes I'm around like older people

who they act like they're dealing with the problems of 25 year olds even though they're 45 because they were never brave enough to make the change and it is some of the most like disheartening sad shit i've ever seen in my entire life because it's like you are dealing with problems of mid 20 year olds and you're 40 fucking five and you're complaining and complaining and licking your wounds because you are comfortable with it and you don't want to grow you don't want to change you want to have the same 25 year old problems for the rest of your life instead of having 45 year old problems like oh my god my kid's about to go to college you know what I mean like holy shit I like it that is the scariest spookiest fucking thing to me and it's like that

is like a reminder I keep in my heart very dear and very close which is like baby you have to grow you have to change and it's gonna be a little scary it's gonna feel uncomfortable as you rip out of this skin to grow into the next one but also you're gonna be better off you're gonna be more beautiful you're gonna be more fulfilled you're gonna be more satisfied yes also upgrading your life comes with more challenges you're gonna have to figure new things out you're gonna have to approach in different ways but also like how blessed am i to have new challenges in my life than facing old ones over and over and over again you know challenge doesn't always mean something bad in fact sometimes it means you're growing you're going into different avenues you're facing

different aversions you know and that means you're pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and you're going down paths that hopefully fingers fucking crossed are serving you well and drastically pushing you forward into a better more sincere version of yourself okay honestly truly i hit a point where i was like and what happens if i reach out to this person and pitch myself what are they gonna do say no leave me on red cool i don't give a fuck eventually once i send a hundred million emails it might be the hundred millionth but one of them will hit one of them will make sense one of them will reach the right audience one of them will work out and in the meantime as you're kind of waiting for that as you're pitching yourself putting yourself out there over and over trying

trying trying you have to kind of stay on track by living your current life the same way you desire to live that life way ahead of you the same way I'm doing like my 30 days of just like commitment to myself it's like okay if I put myself in my shoes of who I want to be one year from now five years from now I naturally am going to be living in the vibe of what I want to be and I think that will help like naturally draw in that same kind of energy that I want to surround myself with in the future and it's a great way to like quantum leap your life so while you're waiting while you're kind of like um you know what do I do what do I I'm trying to figure it out I'm kind of problem solving a little bit you're applying to places you're selling your shit off because you

want to move you're looking at houses you're looking at apartments you're submitting applications whatever the fuck it is you're applying to school as you're doing that you cannot keep living your life the same way you did because obviously it's not working maybe it's like oh damn you know I just like spend my days drinking and throwing my fucking life away it's like yeah you can't keep doing that and expecting things to change by doing the same thing over and over again nope you got to cut it out oh you know I spend all my days on social media to scroll scroll scroll scrolling doing nothing you can't keep doing that and expecting different results you gotta kind of quantum leap your life by immediately stepping forward and putting yourself in the shoes of who

you want to be are you brave enough to do it yes i know you are are you delusional enough to do it yes i know you are this is probably like the little pep talk i need right now in my life so i hope it's the pep talk you need as well but truly anything you want you can get sometimes you just have to burn down the situation you've created in front of you because it's not working and start over we see this all the time in the Kansas prairies this is a crazy like comparison also like think of the sequoias so and when I went to visit the sequoias this summer a lot of it had burned like it was on fire like had been burned down to a crisp and as I'm driving through I'm like oh is this like is this a global warming thing is this supposed to be happening I'm nervous

who threw their cigarette butt on the ground and burned down this nationally protected forest no no no as you start as you get to like the museum you start reading about it's like naturally as trees kind of grow sometimes they grow unhealthily and sometimes they take up too much space and they start choking each other out like through roots through oxygen through sunlight and there's no way for this uh for us to keep growing and flourishing and naturally it will burn itself down now you know subsequently it like kansas prairies if you think about that it'll do the same thing where it will kind of choke itself out through the ecosystem that people will have to come through and burn off swaths of the prairie so it can grow back stronger and better than it

ever has been and i truly believe that if you are brave enough to take that step in your life to kind of burn it down for the sake of your future self to grow back better and more healthy than it ever has been you will be rewarded honestly the universe rewards bravery rewards like taking a chance on yourself always so why not bitch what do you have to lose what do you have to lose you already hate your fucking life or you love it and you need something new you know whatever situation you're in but what do you have to lose oh where you are now your comfortability you know the pain and that's easier than not knowing the pain of the future okay well once again are you going to be 45 with 25 year old problems no baby burn that shit down put yourself out there quantum leap

forward into who you want to be you would be surprised how drastically your life can change in the span of a month in the span of a month you would be surprised yep okay so if you need a little bit of emphasis a little bit of oomph to bet on yourself today bitch this is it okay on to the next not to be dramatic but how to prepare for the end of the world oh my god you guys oh my god you guys would you believe me if i told you i was a prepper in my young age you know you know preppers if you guys heard of preppers where it's like end of the world where's my go bag where's my backpack with all my things in it it's because i'm a control freak like genuinely i am afraid i wasn't afraid baby it's hot it's hot outside we're like yeah the world is burning

i can feel it my skin is frying to a crisp as i'm out there yeah no i i'm at the point in my life where it's like the no go bag needed no go back needed if everything ends tomorrow i'm not worried about a go bag because it's probably gonna end in a way that is like catastrophic not to scare you not to not to ruin your high not to ruin your high let's bring it back up okay now instead of worrying about my prepper bag and my cans of beans and all those things it's like honestly if the world ends tomorrow I'm gonna be real fucking sad if I didn't live it the fuck up today you know what I mean and that's how I'm prepping now that's how I'm preparing now for if the world's gonna end I have no control over what's going on outside I have no control over the weather I have

no control over what the people in power are trying to do if I had control over them baby they'd all be dead okay i'm gonna say that very quietly but what i do have control over is myself it is myself and if the asteroids hit tomorrow best believe they're probably gonna fall on me so as i'm watching my life about to end i'm gonna have to go hmm did i live a fulfilling life or did this shit suck because i put myself in shitty situations okay do i have any regrets at the end of the day the same thing as if you were to live to 150 whatever the fuck same thing if you were to live a full full life at the on your deathbed because we're all gonna die at some point who knows how or what or why or when but eventually it's gonna happen hate to break the

news to you babe you're gonna be there and you're gonna be like holy shit flashback to all the moments in my life did i live a fulfilling life did i live a life that was true to myself did i follow my heart did i follow my intuition did i follow my dreams did i try okay did i try to have a positive attitude did i try to make a lasting impact like what is your purpose your purpose is did you enjoy your fucking life that's how i'm prepping nowadays okay fuck the backpack the backpack that's not gonna be needed okay if if the zombies come if the zombie apocalypse apocalypse comes i'm not sticking around for that shit okay i'm not sticking around for the evil people to come out and start raiding places like that's not my vibe that's not my vibe i like what i'm doing

now and like if shit ends it ends that like i said out of my control i'm not gonna worry about things outside of my control i'm gonna worry about things inside of my control like am i having a positive day did i eat a yummy lunch do i feel good am i following my heart am i utilizing my time when i have it you know am i doing my hobbies am i fulfilling my heart am i fulfilling my soul that's what matters do not freak yourself out with the end times that is a wasteful memory bank space worry about am i living my life truly and fully and honestly okay am i following my dreams am i working hard towards what i want am i trying my best am i trying to bring joy to my life that's the type of prepping that we need to be doing because subsequently if you think like okay

the zombies do come and I do survive question mark somehow and I'm 10 years into the zombie apocalypse those are also the memories we're stuck with those are the memories we're stuck with of like oh I remember eating a snow cone on a sunny day it's like okay like literally that's what we need to be worrying ourselves with the cans of beans I can't do nothing about that I can't I don't have the cabinet space I don't need to be spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on prepper go bags if that's your vibe that's your vibe like i said that was my vibe at one point but i have gotten to a point where it's like i cannot concern myself with the end when i am in the present it's not my job it's not my job if it is your job to think about global

warming i love you and please keep working hard and do not let them get you down you are doing good meaningful work and we are so proud of you but i am not um i'm not that maybe i'm not that i'm a girl with a pink microphone in her hand i am not that how to tell my man he's not making me orgasm okay girl you gotta look him in the eyes and go i haven't gotten off in two and a half years i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i'm just kidding well number one you gotta start with how do you get off okay what is the percentage hold on give me two minutes to research percentage of women who get off from penetration only about 15 to 18 percent of women reliably orgasm from vaginal penetration alone the vast majority nearly 85 percent 85 percent require some sort of

clitoral stimulation either before or during to achieve okay so t i don't know if you're part of the 15 percent 15 to 18 percent i'm not i'm not but you guys oddly enough okay this is crazy can we get like i said og smoke such days i can if and i'm so sorry if there's anybody who knows me listening to this i can oh orgasm i'm like how many words can i say in this sentence without getting demonetized i can achieve from back door penetration that crazy but not not front door not front door baby i'm gonna need a little one two situation i'm a little i need a dj sesh i need you to grab the rose toy like for real so what do you get off from i'm sure you know i'm sure you're doing self-play if not me and my balessa collaboration ends in like a week baby go to

my Instagram bio get yourself a free rose toy not even kidding all right you gotta figure out how you enjoy it on your own because sometimes figuring it out with a person it's it's hard you're managing too many things that's like managing a restaurant and maybe you never worked in a restaurant that's gonna be scary as fuck like just do it on your own first see how you enjoy getting off I have friends who's like I need both some friends it's like no I literally could have nothing in me and I'd be perfectly fine I have some friends that it's like I need one two three punch action you know everybody has their different kinks everybody has their different ideas of foreplay everybody has their different ideas of like what feels good to them all right it's all going to be different

per person and that's what makes us beautiful but also it's what makes sex very complicated sometimes because it's like not streamlined it's not as streamlined as you think so what gets you off okay you know that now you have the secret weapon of how to get him to do it to you and all you got to do is ask all you got to do is ask you want to know how to achieve the best orgasm ever baby you got to turn to a dominatrix for a second and be like do this okay demand it do this put your thumb here rub here grab the rose toy all right you have to you have to ask for it because they are not mind readers and some men are freaked the fuck out and they just they'll just like do everything possible and you will get off all right those men scary because like where'd you

learn that from but also it's like if your man doesn't know maybe it's because of lack of experience maybe because you've never communicated exactly what you're looking for maybe he's just assuming assuming is not great of course your partner should be curious on did you finish you know i should have asked that question every single time oh my god you guys i have a story for you sorry side tangent once again um og smokesash days i literally i was so shocked with myself the other day because I feel like I have to cover my face when I say this because I'm so nervous I was genuinely impressed in my abilities either men are just easy men I'm so sorry it's just easy women it's a little bit more complicated because you have to like understand what they like

what they don't like and then I mean once you get the secret recipe you're good cry potty formula like people are gonna be lining up outside that door to eat there once you get the secret recipe of what makes you feel good and then you figure out the right words to communicate it or you communicate it to your partner you're getting off every single time because now they have the secret key all right but you have to hand that secret key over to them but you guys I'm not kidding my abilities it's not even like my abilities it's like sometimes I hit this like passion mode where it's like I don't know something clicks in my brain it's like a it's like a demon possesses my body all I was doing was making out with this man and that's all he needed

it was wild it was wild i was like i didn't know i had that power i didn't know i could do that also maybe he was just repressed a little bit for a little bit long because i was busy but like i was like oh i just like was sticking my tongue down his throat and bam done it was crazy okay anyways yeah you got to figure out what you like have some self-play okay it's okay to experience pleasure you deserve pleasure you need pleasure pleasure is good pleasure is so important especially if you are a high stress individual you need to be getting off a lot i this is that's just like my doctor's orders hannah's doctor's orders for you if you are a high stress individual because like i was i am a high stress individual and when i'm not having sex i've realized this

when i'm not having sex or like self-play whatever it is i become evil i become evil it's like i genuinely need that as a form of self-care otherwise it's like i'm taking it out on everybody and that's not healthy so okay figure out what you like and then when you're speaking to your partner yeah it can be a bit awkward if it's like pre-sex you're just eating out at dinner and you're like hey i would really appreciate it if you rub my clit this way like that's you know i get it it's hard to have that conversation so in the moment when you're like you know mid enjoying the experience you're in a good position you're like this could work that's when you bring it up when you're like hey i you should do this to me hey you should just like is it okay if i

grab my vibrator hey this and that like just say it calmly put on your seductive voice i guarantee they will be open to suggestion and that's not even in a coercive way it's just a communicative way straight up and you deserve it okay you deserve it i like you just have to speak up for yourself men are not mind readers but once you tell them what to do they will act accordingly i promise you that oh my god but yeah i was shocked when i was like i was just like tongue making out with him i was like did you just did that just happen it's like i couldn't help it oh i'm not laughing at him i'm more so laughing at myself like damn bitch fuck what is going on literally a demon possessed my body how can i ignore negativity and people

who seem to want me to be bitter slash sad i want to stay kind oh well you know people who want you to be bitter and sad are just like so bitter and sad in their own world and they're so miserable they need everybody else around them to be miserable but like once you clock that it's so easy to stay peaceful because you have to turn that shit on them as a gemini i'm just a walking mirror i really am i'm a walking mirror i can't help it like if if we're having a little kiki in one sort of way i'm gonna act that way if i'm around like business men i'm gonna have to act in a business manner if i'm around you know what i mean like i just kind of mirror whatever social setting is going on around me which is confusing internally but it is what it is i am so good at

mirroring shit back to people that are evil i'm real quick with it i am so quick with it so let me teach you how to do it when they are saying passive aggressive shit when you're sharing something fun and exciting and they're like oh like that kind of attitude you got to flip it on them real quick in a way that makes them think about it and you don't do so by matching their energy you do so by being like oh that's like really sad like you really have to be like damn bitch the fuck like keep that to yourself no one wants to hear that negative ass shit sometimes you really have to clock them with that and it makes them like reboot in a way that goes oh i don't have the power here my sadness can't over the power of the room because they don't give a fuck

they don't give a fuck about my sadness it's like yeah girl because save yourself like it's been years of this you have to save yourself we're over it period point blank so when you encounter someone that's like so negative so mean so depressed so whatever i've really mastered this especially working in um the service industry for so long so say it's like a customer who's having a bad fucking day they're starving they're hungry it's hot outside like just bad energy or maybe it's a co-worker same thing they come in they're just like snappy two two people we're seeing number two people or this happened and this happened and blah blah blah it's like oh okay i'm gonna let you get your rocks off real quick i'm gonna let you do your thing i'm not

gonna say anything i'm just gonna let you complain for a second because if i interject now it's like what's the point sometimes people just have to complain for a moment and you just have to put your headphones on you know your mental headphones on and let them do their thing like whatever not my business once it gets to a point where you're like i'm over this you can just shut the fuck up that's when you kind of have to go wow it just sounds like you're having a really sad day today like that sucks damn bitch i hope something positive eventually happens to you because it sounds like it never does like oh you know well there's anything I can do let me know but I'm not dealing with that or you know what my day's going really good and then just walk away like you kind

of have to hit them with the I'm over this I'm done this is weird you're being weird check yourself and also you have to leave immediately like it's not a open conversation it's more so like a statement that is the period at the end of the sentence of like damn you sound miserable my life's going good though you know you really do because it puts yourself in check it also puts them in check a little bit and also if you don't have the energy to put people in check I get that as well I just can't keep my mouth closed so sometimes also for that situation you just have to walk away if it's a co-worker and you're like working be like I gotta go to the bathroom I gotta go I gotta step away I gotta go pee go like dissociate in the bathroom for like five

minutes if it's a partner I don't like negative partners I don't like negative partners I don't like partners that complain complain complain i don't like negative nancies to be inside of me so i don't do negative partners personally that's just a personal thing that's if you have a partner who's being overly negative overly like pessimistic you you can like very harshly clock them on that shit of like what the fuck is going on i thought you were a positive individual why do you look at everything so negatively and can you work on that otherwise we can't be together that sounds crazy but sometimes you just got to say it because you don't deserve to have a angry person in your house your house is peaceful it's calm okay you need to keep it that way if it's a friend okay

friends get a little bit more leeway than partners low-key um if it's a friend it's like okay hey i've been noticing this habit you seem like everything's going wrong like if there's anything i could do let me know but like i don't know like maybe we can share one positive thing that happened in our day or like take a step away put the phone down put those messages on do not disturb those paragraphs messages do not disturb take a moment to yourself if they're like hey what's going on you're not responding it's like oh yeah I'm kind of busy with my own things you know you can lie be like my life's going crazy too sorry I just have I'm busy you know but if it's just like a general run-of-the-mill co-worker someone who's around you someone who's you know in your

vicinity casually not like a serious thing like a friendship or a relationship yeah I'm quick to clock their shit i'm quick to be like the fuck did you just say okay i'm done we're not doing this we have no room for this here and walk the fuck away oh my god my co-worker she interacted with someone like that the other day where it's like we give bread on the side at our restaurant and um it's not unlimited but because it's like homemade but it's like you know you ask for more we'll get you some when we have it when it's made when we have it in stock and it's not quite often in stock so they were like can we get some more bread can we get some more bread she's like oh yeah yeah like it's cooking i'm so sorry about the way like as soon as it comes out i promise

it'll be on the table she went oh you know i just thought you were back there eating it all what the fuck like why would you say that to somebody and she goes what because i'm a fat ass and you know what that woman eating at the restaurant still tipped 25 percent did not say shit back and they casually ate their dinner and left sometimes you have to clock miserable people you cannot let them say crazy ass shit to you that is something i need you all to learn sooner rather than later otherwise you're gonna have all of your life where it's like you're coming home from work and you're sitting in the shower ruminating over how people fucked you over all day or we're just projecting onto you all day and baby the best energy protection for you

is your words now do not mean be mean do not be disrespectful do not raise your voice it's like you know casually clock the situation for what it is and move on and walk away well because i'm a fat ass two and five canadians will hear the words you have cancer that's why every step and dollar raised matters on september 19th join thousands in toronto for the princess margaret cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. At Desjardins Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra

mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs you put your heart into your company so we put our heart into making sure it's protected get insurance that's really big on care find an agent today at desjardins.com slash business coverage hey hannah love you love the pod been here since 2020 when i was in college and now I am a full adult which is crazy um my question for you is do you believe in evil eye and how do you tackle it with posting I'm like starting I'm finally starting my brand up again and which means that to kind of like make money you have to be online and start to like build a presence which is cool but and then also I'm always I don't know it's it is like stressful to kind of put your life

out there and put yourself out there and this has kind of become your job so how do you how do you go around that and like about it you know love you oh love you okay evil eye is a little finicky because um i don't think you can catch like evil eye online i don't believe in that everybody has different perceptions of evil eye but i think evil eye is a more personal thing and to really like actually enact evil eye onto somebody in a transformational like cursed manner it you have to know that person personally um you have to be close to them you have to like genuinely know who they are as a person to then curse them um in a way that makes an effect on their life so random strangers online i don't think they can evil eye me i really don't but there is ways you can take

precaution in your own life which is like um be aware of when you start posting how people uh view that in your life are they making fun of you are they making jokes at you those are people with evil eye in your real life that you should probably cut off or are they just like either like oh yeah that's cool like very nonchalant about it or very supportive those are people who won't have evil eye for you who are supportive of you I very much so focus on like the internal perception of the people around me versus the online perception because like naturally if you post it posting is so interesting because it's like um uh it's like this humiliation ritual where you kind of have to like you go through an ego death you want to go through an ego death girls

are posting online i'll tell you that but you naturally will weed out people that are meant for your brand or meant for you or not um it is just what happens i view posting online as say there's a room full of a hundred thousand people in front of you okay you post it goes up in front of them maybe 50 000 people leave because that's not their vibe they scroll away all right they don't like it they don't engage they view it they're like this is not for me they scroll away all right you lose that audience that's fine who cares they weren't gonna buy from you anyway they weren't fucking with the vibe you're curating it's all about curating and those people you don't want to waste your time trying to impress them because they've already moved on you're not going to catch

their attention who cares all right you're left with half the people you post again you lose a third all right doesn't matter you're there's still two thirds of people who are still here who are interested you're posting for them every post you're gonna lose a certain amount of people lose a certain amount of people and it's not going to go down to zero people it won't ever go down to zero people but you will weed out the people that are not meant for your brand that are not curious in your brand that are not there to support and you will start building from once you weed out all the people you may be left with like 10,000 people out of the hundred and whatever thousand and those people will ride or die for you girl you listen to this podcast those are the

people that i'm posting for those are the people the audience that i'm posting for that are genuinely curious genuinely interested in what you're trying to build who are there to support you and then what's so funny is you cut way down to like this certain amount of people but then you get to build it up all right and as you post and as you post you cut down and then it builds back up so do not concern yourself with numbers with perception with views concern yourself with am i being creative am I pushing the limits am I sharing authentically am I inspired by this post like I'll make posts and it's like you know what I genuinely love this I don't even care if anybody else likes it I just am like vibing with the with what I got going on here I'm gonna post it because

I just I feel like posting that's what it should be it's a digital scrapbook it's a way of you um really just like coherently forming um kind of like an audience a process page so people can follow along so they can become fans because they're able to get like emotionally invested and emotionally involved um but you have to go through the ego death of posting there is no evil eye that you can catch online i genuinely believe that but there is evil eye you can catch in person so watch how people interact with you um because like i there's like third party friends that i'll meet like friends of friends or friends of boyfriends that would be like i saw your little like posts online like that's so interesting and i'll be like and you didn't like it because i

would have seen that name come up you know it's like oh you want to comment on it here in person try get something out of it but you won't support me there like that's weird this little I'm gonna giggle in your face and walk away now you know what I mean so don't worry about online energy worry about the energy you are posting online all right you're gonna garner support no matter what it might start small but it will build up bigger promise you that if you stay consistent go through the ego death process of just like being seen being seen is to be loved okay so you have to allow yourself to be seen and then also if you really want to protect yourself from evil eye just get an evil eye amulet get an evil eye um bracelet necklace whatever it is

that will protect you enough i truly believe the amulet is powerful enough that's why you see it so often everywhere you go um i have a bracelet that i wear i also have it literally tattooed on the back of my neck which is crazy and if you ever have like bad energy around you burn white candles put some salt around you take a salt bath withdraw that negative energy you'll be good i promise but don't concern yourself with the evil eye as long as you have a protection in place such as an amulet it will take care of anything anything that you could be worried about pretty sure my ex spread lies about me being unstable to protect his reputation help and what does that have to do with you what does that have to do with you what does that have to do with you let me go ahead and

give you guys this perspective as somebody who sees who gets like a lot of eyes on them constantly all the time um and i'm sure like you know the everything everywhere all at once movie where it's like if everybody's perception of you was a different version of yourself it's like there'd be millions of hannahs out there but there really is only one hannah and only i know that hannah and also like the people who like truly love me and are close to me know that hannah um so anything else that exists out there is just not me any of those perceptions out there that is you know not conductive of who i am is not me and therefore none of my business okay whatever your ex said about you cool if someone believes that they obviously don't know you and let them believe it

okay you know what they should be a little afraid of how unstable you can get if you were to get unstable and if they're gonna believe that if they're gonna choose to believe your ex and like go ahead they're your ex for a reason but once again like what does that have to do with you it's not rooted in you it's not based off of who you truly are it'd be more scary if it was like well shit actually i was unstable and he is telling everybody i was unstable that that hurts more than someone telling a lie because it's like who cares about lies if someone's gonna believe a lie go ahead go ahead but also like that's not you it's not you so it's not worth wasting your time over and if anybody believes that shit let them believe it move on with your fucking life and let

them stay miserable with their perception of who you are because they never will get close enough to understand the beauty and the truth of who you truly are everybody else who comes around you who is probably gonna have no idea about this lie it's probably gonna have no idea about this idea they're gonna have a beautiful perception of you and that's what matters anything outside of that girl who gives a fuck who gives a fuck that's something i learned really quickly and i see a lot of like um influencers or people who do social media who spend their time like arguing in the comments arguing with their fan base arguing this no no you have to perceive me this way and it's like you can't force perception onto people people are gonna see you how they want to see you and

that is a lot of the times based on lies they've been told truths they've been told perceptions of themselves like there's a lot of projecting when it comes to it and truth of the matter is they're not gonna know who they are until they truly get to know you until they actually get um space and time with you so until they get that baby let them believe whatever the fuck they want because you know who you are you have that truth in your heart you know your ex is evil and in order for him to gain power back he has to tell lies about you and go ahead let him but also it's like he's gonna be telling him to other evil miserable awful people so who cares who cares like i said has nothing to do with you because it's not the truth about you now if it was the truth it'd be

different like don't tell them that don't tell them the truth just kidding just kidding i know you are a wonderful kind well-received well-understood person and anybody who comes into your life who is going to be a positive individual in your life will also have that viewpoint of you anything else that enters your life fuck it nonsense noise leave it in the trash where it belongs let me get you some more water oh i love her she's so fucking funny things to do while tripping slash hi love you okay my favorite thing well if you can't be out in nature nature's number one if you're doing anything that is regarding psychedelics this is this is not professional advice but also um being in nature is the best thing possible being around trees touching grass

laying on a picnic blanket in the park away from people going on a hike whatever that is the best best best best best best thing you can ever possibly do ever ever okay be in nature go on a walk hug a tree touch some grass um of course natural drugs you're gonna feel more like connected to nature duh hello now always make sure you're with somebody who's safe somebody has your location somebody's with you take precaution take protection always if you're ever under the influence of any sort of drug alcohol weed whatever take precaution period point like that has been my psa for for now but if you can't be in nature if you are at home you have to have something to look at like you really do you have to have something to look at

um just to kind of dissociate for a little bit in like a very healthy way um and find inspiration and for me personally my favorite things to look at are high definition photos of the world the world not like earth but also earth you know like different places people have traveled sea animals like things like that i remember first time i did acid and if you have like your tv hooked up to like the google cast situation if your tv goes idle it will start playing the most beautiful high definition definition travel photos you've ever seen in your entire life i remember i started this photo of a seal in seaweed and i was like i didn't know he's moved now like he's like the seaweed is literally like swimming around his cute little

face and it's like maybe that ain't moving that photo ain't moving it is a photo not a video but it's so beautiful and so gorgeous I remember it was like this photo of like a little cabin in a rice field and it was like oh the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my entire life so travel photos are fantastic for that I'm not a big like show watcher or movie watcher if I'm tripping I think it kind of takes me out of it a little bit and also like why would I spend my time when I'm doing that watching a show when I could be like journaling crafting painting okay if you're under the influence of something so psychoactive you should have intentions behind that the reason I fried my brain so much with like psychoactive things is because there were no intentions other

than dissociating and escaping life and that just simply put is not healthy not good you should not be smoking weed drinking any sort of drug that is going to affect your brain chemistry to escape life it should be to connect further and deeper into it so i'm not pro watching shows i'm not pro watching movies i love music i love painting i love arts and crafts i love touching grass that is the best recipe ever for any sort of like trip situation i don't know i feel like i just spent so much of my time running from myself running away from myself in many different capacities but a lot of the times through substances because it was just the easiest thing to do and I'm so happy that now that I'm getting older I'm kind of like

running from myself but also like in tandem running towards myself you know what I mean I feel like the things that I'm picking up now such as like horseback riding or trying new hobbies or putting myself out there or wanting to move wanting to change my life wanting to upgrade my life is my new form of switching things up and adjusting my perspective and opening my horizons on life instead of running so far away from myself because I was scared of what happens everything I dream come true and I feel like a lot of the times when I would use like psychedelic substances molly things like that when I was in like my massive party girl era which like I had fun everybody goes through it's okay like genuinely I don't feel any shame it just is what

it is it's a learning experience um a lot of the times I was doing it to kind of dissociate from life or feel any sort of like positive effect but I realized like a lot of that can't be achieved through life through the just the things you love through experiencing it in a new perspective through trying new things through running as fast as you can towards what you want and desire um you can have like a very silly like psychoactive experience in that sort of way um by simply choosing yourself and running running running towards your dreams versus like dissociating through substances but i do love a little mushroom here and there and i think i'm gonna take some here soon um not like today hello but like um i have a little bit and i just want to

like go to a park i want to put out a picnic blanket i want to just like have a fat ass water bottle on hand some colored pencils some markers a journal a book and just like lay in the sun under some trees that is the best way to kind of trip okay have a trip in my experience uh but be careful with the thoughts that come up be safe have someone there who can watch you protect you look over you and you'll be good love you safe traveling how to go about hookups without getting dick catfished oh my god okay you guys i think i have a knack for this and i discovered this the other day when me and some friends were talking and i was like genuinely i feel like i can look at someone's face a man whoever's face and know their dick size genuinely and that's mostly coming

from the knowledge that like i would like the average male penis size is going to be what is it like five to five and a half inches i'm not even kidding what me looking up stats i'm looking up a lot of stats average dick size yes research indicates the average erect penis is 5.1 to 5.5 inches the girth about 4.6 inches okay i don't know about girth like i i can't guess girth but i can guess size and i think most men genuinely are carrying around five to five and a half sometimes six maybe on a good day maybe the blood flow is really hitting all right maybe a six and honestly like that's perfect for a girl like me that is perfect I don't know what it is about like dick size that became a conversation where like bigger became better but bigger is not always

better babe like I don't need a forearm inside of me that seems like daunting that seems painful that seems like I'm gonna have to like grin and bear it and that's not how sex should be that's not how it should be now if that's for you that's what you're looking for if you're looking for that bde babe go after it but genuinely i feel like i can look at anybody and i can tell like damn they ain't packing a lot down there or subsequently oh god don't go sleep with them like you know what i mean and it's nothing about um like stature or build like you can you can be a very tall muscular individual and still maybe have something that's a little bit smaller or maybe more medium-sized, when you would think it would be like, um...

Two in five Canadians will hear the words, you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire

and help create a world free from the fear of cancer. Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. learn more at accenture.com spotify uh just like ivani water bottle size no no no you know it sometimes there's like sleeper builds sometimes it's like whoa wasn't expecting that but i think most of the time if i ever like came across a penis in the wild i was always like no that genuinely makes sense even small ones i'm like yeah that makes sense definitely um so i don't think you can be i don't think you will be dick catfish because it's all about energy it really is um even like shy people you know confident people you know there's not like a particular

thing to look out for but it's all about chemistry and if the chemistry is right like whatever they're packing you're gonna be happy to have i'll tell you that that's for sure yeah i wouldn't be worried about getting dick catfish i would be worried about getting personality catfished i would be worried about like what are your intentions with me i mean if if you are only looking for a hookup then period like go and find somebody who has like great chemistry great energy that you mesh well with okay you want to know the best way because like fuck dick size fuck all that shit you want to know the best way to tell if you're gonna have like good fantastic sex with a person dancing dancing that's the way to tell you're gonna have like

amazing amazing sex with a person if i can't dance with somebody if we can't like match the same rhythm if you can't catch this fucking thing when i'm throwing it back then like you're gonna be a little weird and off-putting during sex because like dancing is one thing but like in the sheets bitch it's gonna get crazy and wild in here so if you can't match my crazy wild energy on the dance floor then maybe how are we gonna dance in the bedroom you know what i mean and that's why i encourage especially if you're like maybe looking for a one-night stand or looking for a good sexual experience or looking for your future husband whatever it is whatever you're looking for if you're just looking for that connection i always recommend like going out

to clubs going dancing going to like maybe even just small jazz lounges whatever it is where you can like dance and boogie in kansas city there's so many music venues if you're like an emo girl they have emo night at the warehouse down the street um if you're more into techno and raves like you can go to i mean real raves like real real raves you can go to any of them that come in town but also like aura you that was my like rave club or in the lowest ferns which is a little bit more like elevated small djs more like curated vibe if you're looking for like country line dancing you can go to the ship go to honky tonk tuesdays you know what i mean like there's something for everybody so whatever your energy is whatever you're feeling if you like more of like a classical

like salsa dancing go to salsa dancing night if you want to you know just like vibe out maybe go to like a more disco night if you want to you know you're more like country girl boots swinging then like go to line dancing whatever it is but like genuinely if you're trying to figure out hmm are we gonna have good chemistry do i fuck with you can you match my vibe can you match my energy are we gonna have good sex dancing dancing dancing all the way conversations are one thing you know of course you have to be able to like talk be intelligent hold a conversation but also i think there's so much to be said about chemistry that happens on the dance floor that really does translate to are we gonna mesh in the bedroom you know but yeah i don't think you're gonna be

dick catfish i think once you meet somebody you can really tell what they're packing genuinely genuinely and i'm not judging size i'm not i'm not a size shamer here we don't size shame we don't okay whatever you have is beautiful and wonderful and there is a girl outside out there for you okay in straight relationships like dicks and vaginas they'll fit like a key sometimes you have like maybe a more narrow smaller vaginal canal very normal maybe you need someone who's packing a little less maybe you have one that's like more medium size okay congratulations now you can go with like more of a medium man maybe you're like i need a lot i want to be stuffed to the brim okay then go find a man who's going to stuff you to the brim you see what i'm saying there's somebody out

there for everybody all dicks are beautiful all dicks are wonderful as long as it's like safe and healthy and taken care of and well tested same way i feel about vaginas like we're not judging innies versus howdy's like shut up they're all beautiful they're all wonderful like who's complaining about a vagina let's be honest or like boob size like literally it's all beautiful it's all wonderful but what really makes a difference is the chemistry of it all okay can you vibe can you kind of find a flow state are the energies matching you know is he matching your freak that's what matters girl i think this guy likes me but i don't know how to know anyways illy love you this is what you do i'm just like a forward individual like i love being a little

shy girl like oh does he like me and then sometimes i hit a point where it's like okay bitch are you taking me on a date or what and you can say it really flirty i think that's a great way to figure out if a guy likes you whether it's like a guy friend guy acquaintance like somebody you know you're hanging out in a social circle social group you've kind of been on and off for a little time like maybe you've just been like situation shipping it and like hanging out as friends and hooking up but you're like i'm ready to get to the next level like i want to go on a date with this person this is what you do if you are a woman who's confident enough to kind of and i know you are like all anybody who's listening to this i know you're confident enough to play

this off like in a cute sexy way this is what you do you're having a little key you're talking and you go so when are you gonna take me on a date like let's be real when are you gonna take me on a date and if they're like a date why would i do that it's like oh come on don't you want to spoil me like don't you want to go get some food like you can play it off if they're like not catching the vibe like well don't you want to just like go get something to eat like come on let's go blah blah blah but if he's like a date i've been thinking about that like yeah i'd love to take you on a date like it's kind of a risk but you can play it off very easily it's like yeah dude like what are we doing here like i want to go do something like let's go out let's go do something

together great way to play it off and also it kind of throws the ball in their court dating and conversations is just a game of like basketball and like you'll have the ball sometimes they'll have the ball sometimes but the fun part of it is passing it back and forth that is not at all what basketball is about but that's what my my brain equates basketball to being um you've got to pass the ball back and forth so if the ball's in your court take that ball throw it back at him as hard as as you can okay so when are you gonna take me on that date you know it's time when are gonna take me on a date I'm free this day make it happen and like I said if they're like what I'm not we're not dating why would I do that be like oh with the way you've been acting lately

I figured you were in love with me oh you know I just wanted to get out of here and go get some food or something like let's just go to talk about like I'm just like over here come on let's go you know like whatever the situation is find a little one-two saying to get back you know but I think it's a great way to kind of like put the ball in their court kind of be teasy and playful about it get them excited about it and also you will get the answer you want which is yeah i've been thinking about it we should go do something yeah i've been wanting to take you here let's go do this or it's like yeah i don't know you know and it's like oh well whatever at least you try at least you shot your shot your shot like you've got to shoot your shot at some point you're gonna regret it if you

don't so you might as well just say it be brave send that risky text message just kidding don't do that wait until retrograde's over that's for sure boyfriend of 1.5 years says i'm too independent how do you love uh without losing yourself girl you better order that man around i'm an independent woman too and you know how i utilize that in my relationship in tandem with my relationship i order that man around i'm quick to be like i need this go get it last night i need my heating pad go get it i need my water bottle filled i need you to clean up from dinner yes ma'am yes ma'am i will go do that that's how you be in a relationship as an independent woman okay independence is one thing like any sort of healthy relationship is two independent people

period point blank but also it can become hyper independent where you're doing everything on your own you're going and doing this you're doing this activity you're doing you're getting all the groceries yourself you're doing all the laundry yourself because oh they just didn't do it so i'm gonna do it that's how that's kind of independent i am where it's like well i'm thinking about it so i'm gonna go do it and then i'm gonna hold resentment against you because you didn't do it because you don't have this way of thinking that i do and i'm just doing everything on my own it's like actually if you're a hyper independent person and you maybe don't have as much as like a go-getter hyper independent partner which is okay everybody has their different vibes different values of

course that man better be picking shit up hello but you gotta order that man around you do you really do he wants to be used and not in a way that's like negative or hurtful or awful he's just like hey you're hyper independent you're doing everything on your own i would like to be involved and so you just have to tell him how to be involved okay I want to go to this restaurant take me on a date here on Wednesday I'm free I know you're free too we're doing it then and you're taking me you're taking me on dates easy peasy hey I want to go to this activity we're doing it on this day bam done hey I need you to go pick up the groceries from the grocery store here's the list go get it done period hey I just washed all the laundry I need you to fold

it and put it away and like yeah it's so annoying sometimes also to be like telling your partner to do everything i don't think you should have a partner where you have to tell them to take you on dates where you have to tell them to love you or you have to tell them to do the laundry like i said in relationship should be two independent people that man should be able to or woman or whoever should be able to interact with the world and be a whole well-rounded in like person period they should know how to turn on a vacuum they should know how to grocery shop they should know how to cook maybe a dinner or two even if it's not that great maybe you can throw a frozen pizza in the oven whatever it is you can plan ahead to plan a date to want to do things together that's

important it's necessary you shouldn't ask for every single thing in a relationship because that gets annoying but if you are an independent person who has an independent partner and you find yourself being a little bit too hyper independent involve your partner by asking them to do things for you I think it's a great way to kind of also like utilize your independence you know what you want I know you know what you want okay I don't want you to sacrifice what you want but just involve your partner hey I need you to do this for me I'm a partner who loves doing something for my um partner and my partner is definitely like um acts of service that's his love language and I don't ask for enough acts of service so I've really been maxing that out recently and it's

been going surprisingly well surprisingly well where I'm like dude can you do this please love you and it makes my life easier takes something off my plate he feels fulfilled because he's doing some of his love language and just makes a better more well-rounded situation all right okay this might sound a little wonky but um how do you tell if you love a man or if you just love that he loves you um yeah that's that's that's it bye oh my god short and sweet voice memo well happy to have here thank you for submitting a voice memo if you want to submit a voice memo dm me on instagram that's the way to submit them but i don't know because it is like love is good love is great relationship building is everything though and love can't be everything of course to love

somebody you have to love them wholeheartedly where it's like if you really love that man you will get the ick you will watch him scratch his balls and you'll go that's disgusting but also like i don't want any other man to scratch his balls in front of me you know what i mean like that's kind of that's how you know you love them of course you should love to be loved they should love you in a way that makes you feel fulfilled that makes you feel good but if you can't watch that man scratch his balls and get the ick and go damn actually i need him as far away as possible then maybe you don't actually love him you know i feel like we really know we love somebody when shit gets rough when shit gets hard when things are easy smooth sailing things are going good

you're like yeah it's easy to love you right now okay love's gonna be hard sometimes if you want to get married and have like a 50 year long marriage like shit should mostly be easy but there's gonna be arguments there's gonna be tiffs there's gonna be good days they're gonna be bad days you might have kids that kid might smear poop on the wall and it's like you both are on your hands and he's cleaning shit off the fucking walls it's like are you still gonna love that person when you're doing that that's how you know you guys you were actually in love with that man like i said yes it's easy to be loved but also like you will find when you love somebody man or woman doing like slightly delusional things i know i'm in love when i start baking

for somebody it's so strange because i genuinely find being honest loki kind of hate baking like that is science i don't want to do science in the kitchen i can make a fettuccine alfredo with my eyes closed I can make a pot roast with my eyes closed I can make a sundae roasted chicken in the in the kitchen with my eyes closed but baking oof if you catch me baking for a man that's how you know I love them because I'm doing something hard I'm doing something like slightly delilu because I don't do that for anybody else and I'm doing it for a man that's how I know I love them but I do think a lot of it is like when shit gets hard and you kind of have to when you're in a relationship wait it out to see maybe when there's a tiff there's a slight argument there's something going

on see how they handle it see how you handle it you will know if you really love a man when shit gets hard and if you want to figure it out when shit gets hard and you're like actually I want to give up right here right now I'm ready to let you go that's how you know you know what maybe we're not meant for each other maybe we're not good problem solvers together maybe we're not good partners together maybe I don't want to work with you on this maybe I don't want to be your science partner right now okay maybe I don't want to clean shit off the walls with you ever in fact that's gonna drive me even more mad that's how you know you know what maybe this is just surface level maybe it's just like I'm enjoying feeling good but when tough times get hard we can't lean

on each other I don't want to lean on you you smell you're gross actually you're grimy I hate you you know what I mean that's when it's like all right maybe it's time to give it up maybe it's time to move on but a lot of it is wanting to do the hard thing no matter what together wanting to choose each other no matter what wanting to work through things you know even if you hate them you just like it's like the worst fucking day ever they're trying to help you but you're just like frustrated it's like you know what but i still want them around me you know on the days when you're like so burnt out from life and so tired of everybody but you still want them around you um when they're doing gross disgusting nasty things or vomiting after a night out you're like

that's gross but also like i'm gonna go make you a cup of water like that's how you know you love them that's that's genuinely when you don't need a reason to love somebody when you just want to do it period now also you can love a man and do all these things for a man but he might not do them for you and that also is an excuse to leave okay all right let's see what else we got let's see what else we got what does choosing yourself look like oh this is a great question because also like with the um topic of like hyper independence this is a great one to bring up because it's like sometimes hyper independence isn't a good thing and sometimes um we get choosing yourself confused with hyper independence a little bit you know you have to be able to rely on people

you have to also like put yourself aside for people you know you can't just like choose yourself choose yourself choose yourself choose yourself because that also becomes like selfish in a way and becoming a little selfish when you've never been selfish before is important to learning like how to hold boundaries but once you know how to hold boundaries and you know how to be like a whole well-rounded individual only choosing what you want to do only showing up to events you want to do only doing things you want to do is going to come off as really really selfish and that is just not a great way to go about the world so of course choosing yourself is important but also like choosing yourself sometimes means putting yourself aside it's all about just like what's

important to you is this person important to you sure you don't want to go to this event you don't want to really you know you've had a long day you you don't really want to go but you love this person you want to show up for them it's their event sometimes choosing yourself also means like showing up for the people you love around you now also you know it means prioritizing what you also desire in your life so yeah sometimes that means other people sometimes it means new hobbies sometimes it means new events new things um but a lot of choosing yourself is just following your intuition and following your heart what makes your heart happy what makes your intuition happy what makes you feel good at the end of the night sure maybe exhausted but good nonetheless i'll

tell you what this week i'm filming a day in the life video and i think you guys are gonna be surprised by how much I really fucking do in a day but uh is it so fulfilling is it so wonderful is it so beautiful am I choosing myself every step of the way yes absolutely and I wouldn't have it any other way but yeah I think we're in an era where a lot of people are very hyper independent and also very selfish and I don't think that's a great way to live life because it's going to become a very lonely life and we as individuals are pack creatures humans are pack creatures we feel safer in a group we feel safer when people are around us that we've chosen that we love that we feel supported by we feel safer and more secure when we are well loved and well

liked and we have a good community around us we have people watching our backs but becoming hyper independent and only relying on yourself is not going to make life easier to live is just gonna make it lonelier and listen i'm a hyper independent bitch i i understand if anybody understands it's me i could live alone in a cave and be perfectly fine but also it's like damn how lonely would that be you know so that means i have to put myself aside and my hyper independence aside which i know is you know a little bit more negative and choose me well whole rounded me well taken care of hannah healthy hannah and that means putting myself aside sometimes being vulnerable opening myself up putting myself into new friendships putting myself into new

relationships opening myself up to new situations new environments new jobs new work opportunities being vulnerable in that sense because you can't have this wall up or this guard up that is not choosing yourself that's becoming selfish that's becoming hyper independent and that's going to be really fucking lonely i don't know there's a lot of people out here that's like very very um i'm choosing me i'm doing what i want to do and it's like well yeah but also like from the outside perspective that just seems like it seems like really self-centered in a way that's like not healthy and not conductive to a healthy lifestyle at all so be careful with what you're choosing sometimes choosing yourself means putting yourself aside for the people you love sometimes it means

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Standard message and data rates may apply. Goddamn laundry, even though you don't want to do it, you know because you know tomorrow you'll feel good about it showing up to that event even though you're tired investing in your hobbies even though you know you know you don't believe in yourself whatever it is you've got to have that balance real choosing yourself is um supporting yourself in a very whole well-rounded way and sometimes that means being vulnerable sometimes it means doing it scared sometimes that means taking on a challenge sometimes that means putting yourself aside um a lot of choosing yourself is actually selflessness okay follow in selfish selflessness

not selfishness hey bestie i guess i just need some advice from my hustling queen um i for context i will be turning 28 in september i'm a virgo i would change my mind constantly um lots of water i'm a cancer moon as well as a pisces rising um very dreamy very whimsical i'm constantly living in a daydream and i know we always talk about follow your dreams keep being a dreamer blah blah blah and you know what i do get to do the things i love and enjoy and i'm very appreciative of that but it's not in my career it's in my hobbies and i'm getting to a point where I feel like me being a drifter in my career aspect of life is getting like I feel like I need to settle down somewhere and I guess I need your advice if it's okay to just be a jack

of all trades forever like is that fine I can never make up my mind of what I actually want to do um or i guess if like if anything is the perfect job for me it's a solo job that isn't people facing like i'm tired of hospitality i'm tired of customer service roles and as a virgo i love just a solo activity give me a list and i'll do the damn task sheet you know what i mean is there a job out there for me like that or is it just validate me it on if it's okay to drift be a drifter in life sorry if this got long thank you so much uh love you sweet girl you sound exactly like me and you know what there is a beautiful wonderful job for us all out there another talent i have realized recently is i feel like i can place people in the perfect jobs we had

a patreon girl last last week that was like um i just want to travel i've been on this this month long solo travel i've been loving it like yeah i could go back home and work my shitty ass bartending job in a mountain town but i hate the cold i don't want to go back like i'm honestly happy doing all this forever should i just do like a uh like a workaway situation where i have somewhere to live and i work for them but i'm also in a different country so i could experience travel and I was like you know what job would be perfect for you as like a nomadic lifestyle is working on a yacht being a yacht girl a yacht stewardess you get to travel you're kind of on call sure you're working for somebody else you get paid well I know you're gonna get those benefits

because but you're on a boat you have to have insurance benefits hello like it would be great for you it'd fit you so perfectly and if you want to explore and travel and do this until you know it all runs out then go ahead who cares but you know check off the list travel get to see the world you know you're gonna work on a boat you're gonna meet new people that'll be perfect for you and honestly i i am such like you where it's like i could do anything okay you said you like doing a list you'd be a fantastic fabulous personal assistant okay give me a list i'll get the list done you should be hunting for personal assistant jobs i'm not even kidding but for me personally I'm so like you where it's like I could be a two-year-old preschool teacher for the rest of

my life and I'd be so happy I could be a painter for the rest of my life and I'd be so happy I could be um a podcaster for the rest of my life I'd be so happy I could be a content creator for the rest of my life I'd be so happy I could be an art teacher for the rest of my life I could be so happy I could be a gardener a florist anything like I feel like I could fit into so many different areas and I have so many different dreams and ideas of what I do what I do that it's kind of hard and when you get older you're about to turn 28 you do crave stability it's so funny how this happens because I was very happy with like all the different jobs I had when I was younger because I liked the enthusiasm it gave me but now that I'm older it's like you know what I do prefer when

something's a little bit more like consistent I do prefer a consistent vibe in my life especially if I'm trying to build other things around it so I understand that you're getting older you kind of want to like figure out what you want to do you want to settle down in your career that's totally normal that's totally fine because your strength your superpower is if you find a job you settle down in it and you realize damn actually I don't want to do this you have millions of other ideas of what to explore and what to get into and that is so beautiful I also know on the other hand there's some people because I used to be this way where it's like I can't decide like I'm such a problem I can't decide I can't pick something but also then I would talk to people and they're like

no I have no clue what I want to do I have no dreams I have no idea of self I have no aspirations i can't even drift because i don't even know where to drift to that's when i started seeing my dreaming and my goal setting and my drifter like habits as a positive because it i realized that i opened so many doors for myself just by allowing myself to enter the room and that is so beautiful and such a superpower and such a talent so your pisces um and cancer signs don't worry they're helping you with that where you're maybe virgo aspects wants you to stay like a little bit more grounded a little bit more like rule oriented maybe you don't always have to follow the rules but also i don't blame you if you want to settle down maybe now is the time to really weigh your

options and figure out what works for you and what doesn't you said hospitality doesn't work for you okay pros cons list start dreaming big i know you can do it figure out what jobs would probably like work best for you long term what you would feel comfortable settling down and start applying for them who knows what's going to happen who knows how it's going to turn out but you won't regret trying or putting yourself in new places i've kind of got to that place too where it's like okay i'm not gonna podcast till i'm 50 i might do it for fun till i'm 50 who knows like i have no intentions of ending this i truly am just here living my best life and i'd love to see how it grows in that sort of way but is it something that i can like uh reliably settle down on no

i'm just kind of doing this for fun and the kiki and like genuinely the enjoyment of growing this community and being alongside of you guys i'm as codependent as you guys probably are don't worry um but also it's like i need something a little bit more stable a little bit more professional a little bit more this a little bit more of that and for a while you guys heard me talk about this i was like i want to be a tattoo artist i'll be a tattoo artist and you know what i worked on that i built my portfolio i pitched myself to places i even practiced tattooing on my own on fake skin don't worry not on people anymore i was like actually i could do it but i don't think i'm gonna enjoy it as much as i thought i would and that's okay i gave my all i tried i tried to

figure it out and I was like you know what this isn't meant for me and that's all right let's switch it up let's change things up then I kind of started getting into painting and I realized genuinely how much I enjoy painting and how much I enjoy the fine art of things and how much I enjoy spending my evenings just like with an covered in oil paint with a paintbrush in my hand and I was like this is what I can do forever is this something that I can jump right into and make a living off of right now no but right now my focus needs to be practicing building my portfolio sharing with the world things like that um and so that's kind of where i started putting my cards now if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out congratulations we're dreamers we can divert we

can try something else out if all of this falls to the fucking floor at the end of the day as well i can go become a two-year-old teacher and be so happy i can become a private nanny and be so happy but bitch you like a list you like a to-do list when i need an assistant i will be reaching out to you because i think you would really enjoy being a personal assistant you don't have to do any like front-facing things as much it really is just like here's your errands for the day go do it and sometimes that is a dream everybody has different dreams everybody has different passions everybody has different things they want to do i think it's so beautiful that you know what you want and who you are it's kind of hard to just like get yourself out of the sky and put yourself

back down into reality into earth but if you want to settle down i don't blame you it is something that happens when you get older where you're like actually i would prefer a stable job is that something you're gonna find now no but you can start laying the seeds and building the foundation i've found the people in my life especially the older people in my life who found like quote-unquote stable jobs they don't really happen to like the 30 35 range so don't waste your time trying to like settle down right now um take your time to explore take your time to figure it out take your time to like plant seeds and you know build ideas up because eventually you will hit that point where it's like all right now i'm ready but right now you need to game plan think it out

really pros and cons list it i know you love a list bitch and then i think it'll help you settle down in the future um i also kind of went through this mental um warfare with myself where i was like i'm getting old i need to figure my life out and so you know what i did this is what i always do when i find myself spiraling is i find an artist and i hyper fixate on them okay and so i found this artist are hyper fixating on them they're beautiful surrealist western style paintings like paintings that genuinely you would see in a dream like so gorgeous so beautiful selling for millions of dollars at auctions like you don't see modern artists selling for that much nowadays um and is it like the most new thing no but it is just like genuinely so beautiful the way he uses

light and landscape and the western aesthetic it is it's so wonderful so nice and you know what i was like he must have been doing this for years he must have been doing this since he was like 19 to build up a repertoire in this way and it's like actually no he didn't start till he was 30 35 35 didn't gain success until he was 40 we have time you have plenty of time you have plenty of time to figure it out the world's not ending tomorrow things are good things are fine just take your time to plant your seeds to think it out okay to try new things as well if you find yourself floating and thinking too much put yourself in the shoes of who it would be to be that person with that job apply to it see if it works for you if it doesn't work for you who cares

move on find something new you will settle down eventually naturally but you can't force yourself otherwise you're gonna feel stuck i'm facing a severe lack of glam lately how to fix okay i so talk about this on the patreon maybe here i feel like the biggest glam divas ever are southern women let's be honest let's be honest the biggest glamorous divas ever are southern women think about like the southern drag queens even in the drag world like those divas are glam to the max they take their glam very seriously it's almost like an art form okay and i mean it is an art form if you really really think about it um but i heard this rule one time from this glam diva that's like you have to have two or three things okay period point like at the end of the day you

have to have two or three things the three things are a good outfit a good beat and good hair you have to have two of those three things so maybe you want to run into the grocery store you don't want to have a good outfit on you're just like in a matching chill two-piece set okay glam hair or maybe you have a good outfit on but you don't want to do your makeup okay outfit hair okay you don't want to do your hair cool glam outfit if you have two of the three things you will feel glam you will feel diva you will feel put together always always always always and it's something that i've been doing more so lately because of course like when I'm home I'm doing nothing it's my day off I'm in sweats I'm looking a mess I'm not doing my makeup I'm not doing my hair that's okay that's

all right I have those days every once in a while but I've been trying especially through like the weekdays or like work days the average work day to have two of the three things done and I feel more put together I feel like I go when I do more things especially because I am a front-facing person who has to be on camera I'm doing more things I'm on camera more often I'm creating more often i'm sharing more often because i feel good because i'm put together and everybody's put together looks different like maybe you're a goth diva and i love that about you but like oh maybe you just want to be in sweats okay but hair is looking crazy fantastic maybe you just cut your bangs and you have some uh killer ass glam makeup on you know what i mean or you don't

do your makeup but you have some crazy fucking hair and you got a crazy outfit on love it two of the three things you know everybody has different aesthetics everybody has different vibes different thing ways that they want to put themselves together but i think if you have two of the three and yes it's vain yes it's selfish we're talking about glamour here glamour all right glamour is going to be a little vain and selfish i know we just talked about not being selfish but also it's like when it comes to what you physically appear like it's okay to be selfish a little bit on what you want to look like everybody's going to have different ways they want to present themselves maybe it is a little self-centered to think about how you look but I do think a lot of

the confidence that I exude from myself comes from how I feel about myself and that comes from how I look and I think you can be a glam diva no matter how you look as long as you in your heart feel good about how you're presenting yourself to yourself outward perception doesn't matter internal perception is what matters and for me the two of the three things it really does work i will say i feel like i'm received better by myself i feel more confident to go out and do things i feel like oh yeah i will go to the store real quick you know i feel put together um also something recently that i've been really really really really diving into is the glamour of self-care okay i want to feel like a greek goddess bathing in oils slathered in jasmine

perfume literally being surrounded by honeybees because of how sweet and wonderful and amazing i smell like if i was a greek goddess back in the day i would be known mostly for what i smell like and how beautiful it is and how like people practically float like a cartoon character by the smell of me i have become a very scent driven person recently i have also become lush's number one fucking fan i love lush i love them as a company i don't ride for companies this hard but like great politics let's be honest a lot of companies are scared to have politics because their politics are what wrong lush fantastic politics i also learned recently they grow a majority of um any sort of like herbs or like essential oils they use to make herbs in-house

they're not outsourcing like they have their own farms crazy shit all homemade all like pretty much as locally sourced as you can get to that area girl i don't know i'm just saying buzzwords but like i love their stuff it is so nourishing it is so wonderful it's so beautiful and i went a little crazy it's in my vlog for the week my self-care vlog um my lush haul my massive lush haul for the end of summer or mid-summer whatever you want to call it and i have been scent layering like no other i will use this beautiful bright grapefruit um citrus bath or body wash in the shower i'll get out i'll layer that with a massage bar that is like jasmine i'll then put on some uh like a little quick body spray that is more like sweet vanilla oh like i want to walk into a place

and have heads turn by how beautiful i smell i think it is the ultimate compliment i've been really into my perfume collection lately and if you have zero out of the three things done okay you look a mess face not be actually breaking out hair all over the place if you smell good i feel like i'm put together if i'm well moisturized and i smell good baby i am unstoppable truly so those are little things i have been doing to kind of like get into the glam of it all um i've kind of i'm giving glam diva today i put on a cute outfit i got the titties sitting high thank you hair done bangs done shocking surprising makeup done feeling unstoppable bitch unstoppable oh but that being said what a fun little day you know we had some fun conversations

today fun topics dicks drugs love living prospering that's what fucking smoke sesh is all about all and i'm so happy to have you here if you are a new listener shit welcome you got a lot to catch up on but we're happy to have you here it is like this every single week if you want to submit your questions follow me on instagram at hannah marlene you can comment them there in my dms if you want to submit a voice note you can dm me there if it won't let you submit a voice note just be like hey let me in i'll i'll help you figure it out don't worry i want to hear from you i love hearing your beautiful sweet voices and i love connecting with you guys um via voice note if you want to watch the vlogs uh vlog for the week up now on youtube hannah marlene four four four i'm gonna

be doing a day in the life vlog if you're curious what a self-made hustler looks like it's not gonna be like that but it's gonna be fun take you along through my day and if you want to support me if you want to support me and see extra extra episodes early content extra posts inspirational posts uh moon phase cycles mercury retrograde write-ups journal prompts literally everything so many good fun things on the patreon patreon.com smoke so i show you where i answer every your questions every single week wow the cotton mouth is cotton mouthing but with that being said stay sane stay sexy and i'll see you all so soon Two in five Canadians will hear the words,

you have cancer. That's why every step and dollar raised matters. On September 19th, join thousands in Toronto for the Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation Walk. Challenge yourself, friends, and family to walk 21 kilometers in support of life-saving research. Together, we can carry the fire and help create a world free from the fear of cancer.

Register today at pmcfwalk.ca. Thanks for watching!