Smoke Sesh - toxic traits, FOMO, high sex & getting what you want

Episode Date: June 27, 2023

Happy Tuesday hottiess happy to be here with you all again on this wonderful little Tuesday afternoon. We dive right into our questions this week as we chat what makes life worth living, the little things, portals in the real world, how to get away, what happens when you have the wrong gut instincts, individuality & love, how to be a whole human, my favorite media right now, how to manage the hard things, FOMO and how to encourage a positive sense of inspiration, squirting and what is it really? how to find a good nail artist, acrylics, and what makes a person cool? how to be cool 101, breaking toxic behaviors & boundaries with yourself, getting what you want & desire, college? yes or no, how to be more intimate, high sex, mosh pits & much much more! Love you all so very much and hope you have an amazing afternoon

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, just somebody to look out for them. Some people call me their fairy smoke mother, others their internet big sister, but you can call me Hannah, the host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. The good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing, I've got a story for it all. Good morning hotties of the world, clocking in for their daily little smoke sesh. hang out i am so excited to be here with you guys on this beautiful little tuesday afternoon i don't know how the weather is where you are but it has been unbelievably hot and sunny and just

brutally like sun is seeping into my bones which listen i love because that is curing my depression amazing fantastic but the heat is killing me but i woke up this morning and it was you know rain was spattering on the window pane let me get a little poetic with it and it was like a nice change of pace like i woke up raining you know a little light light thunderstorm vibe i got ate out had some crazy sex went back to bed now i'm up little tma sorry but like what an amazing morning and caffeined up i had a matcha latte but it really is not doing what i needed to do so i'm about to chug um half a celsius right now prepare so i might be on one today but that's kind of the chaotic energy that i'm really really trying to bring um some exciting things coming up especially

for my patreon girlies and the girlies who like watching the vlogs um i am going to arizona in a couple weeks very excited for that my friend wants to put me on a hot air balloon i am deathly terrified of doing that i hate heights i hate any sort of heights heights of any sort but i feel like you know why succumb my life to things that i'm not afraid of like sometimes you gotta get out there and do do the damn thing you know you can't let fear hold you back so i told her i was like girl if you book the tickets i'll get in the hot air balloon like i'll take a shot before i go up i'll eat some cbd we'll be good we'll do it so we'll see but arizona is gonna be really fun i've never been there i'll be in phoenix if my girlies out there have any

recommendations let me know um and then i'm also going to breakaway festival which is an edm festival in kansas city so if you want to possibly run into me there if you want to celebrate with me a little bit listen to some good edm i get to see grizz before he is done performing for a while come hang out i would love to see you guys there other than that big chillin big chillin my plans for the day were wake up hang out with you guys caffeine up eat some oh dude i made the best food last night i made some ramen noodles with like beef and broccoli made it a little spicy so i'm gonna have that for lunch i'm gonna hopefully go to the river if it seems to get a little sunny out i just got a new eve babbitt's book that i've been devouring so i'm trying to get into that

smoke a little jay in the woods have some sushi for dinner pass out what is better than that come on now it really is life is all about the little things like i used to live my life so consumed by if i don't have something giant or big going on then it's not going to be a good day whether it was like a big plan such as like oh I'm going to this event or I have this big thing coming up or I'm going somewhere something like that if I didn't have that going on I'd be like well today doesn't matter and that is just not how it works and then it somehow switched into like okay I'm not getting my dopamine from outside sources such as experiences because I'm waiting around for all these big experiences to come um so I'm going to start spending money in online shopping and

doing bad habit things which will give me dopamine still also not a good way to live but i think now on my third little trial run at life within my very short 24 years i'm starting to figure it out and really having just the little things to look forward to every single day is what makes it and sometimes it's a nice piece of sushi a good book being in the forest a pink joint a good matcha latte that is really what truly makes my day and also being here with you guys and getting to share my time with you guys so with that being said enough is enough i know i've rambled on for long enough i know why you're here let's dive into all of your deepest darkest most intense interesting questions that you possibly have in your mind okay love you let's chat

okey dokey i think my biggest goal for today's episode is just get as many questions in as i can my adhd brain is really bouncing off the fucking walls right now and i have a habit of going on tangents hey i love a good tangent all right but i don't know what has happened recently but this podcast has blown up like 10 times the amount as it usually is so i want to make sure that i get to everything that i possibly can feed our little devious adhd minds and have a good time along the way if you don't follow me on instagram follow me there at hannah marlene that is where i always post the questionnaires if you have questions always always always send them there i literally don't look at anything else okay i love you let's get into it someone asked um what's your getaway

from the stress of life um they said not a vacation for example mine is the park great question uh like i chatted about the river you're like girl the river how midwestern are you let's be fucking for real like i'm not going down to the river like but for real you have to find the places in life where you step into it and it feels like you are stepping into a portal and entering a new world and when I was younger listen I grew up on the outskirts of a city next to like the farm country but still kind of in the suburbs so we were surrounded by cornfields and forests and that's we didn't have public parks like that's what you did you either walked up to the elementary school and played on the playground there that you play on every single day or you

go into the forest and you create your own little fun world and when I was younger I mean my parents both worked full-time when i mean full-time i don't mean like eight to five or whatever like they were public school teachers so they worked six to like eight teachers you guys put in so much fucking work shout out to you i love you guys you do so much work for these kids and put in so much effort and it really goes unseen so here's me appreciating and thanking you but yeah growing up my parents like not that they weren't there of course they always showed up for me but they were putting in work for the kids that they had and vouching for them and showing up for them after hours coaching practices doing whatever they had to do which means I had a lot of free time to

really just run around and so I found this local hiking trail if you like even I live in a big city I didn't think I could find this anywhere but down download a all trails I think is what it's called and you can find some really cool stuff and some really cool things near you that you can just go and explore and one of these was the blue river um next to my house so every couple days when i'm like i need to escape the world even though i'm going 15 minutes away i'm gonna drive out there i'm gonna exit my car i'm gonna put on a cute little bikini and i'm gonna go sit in the forest in dead silence next to a river and just exist and it is honestly the best feeling ever during the pandemic it was the park i would go to the park every single day um because you could social

distance there when i was living with my parents i need to fucking get out like escape the their life like escape being around them listen i get it if you live at home it is a struggle so like find little escapes wherever you can um it was also like my morning drive where i would drive to duncan when it was cheap now it is not cheap it's like five dollars for a large are you fucking kidding me um but when it was cheap i would just spend an extra 30 minutes driving the long route to duncan so i could listen to my music with the windows down get my little coffee facetime a friend and then go home it is about the little things you have to hunt them out you have to make your life fun and worth living um and that means hunting for the portals because they are all

around you i guarantee you but yeah the park taking the long route listening to music going into the woods finding a good place to just escape and be yourself maybe it's a good bookstore a library um maybe it's a concert whatever it may be it can be big and be small but you have to have those to look forward to throughout your life oh I love this question someone said I trusted my gut and now I'm having a terrible time why crying face emoji okay felt felt I hear you I preach a lot about trust your gut trust your instincts trust what you think is best because it is just a great everyday practice of learning to tap into yourself and tap into those instincts sometimes those instincts are wrong that doesn't mean you shouldn't trust your gut that doesn't

mean you're not to be trusted that doesn't mean you've done something bad or you've you know regressed in some sort of way because you're not constantly making the right choice guess what sometimes your gut will lead you astray it's the universe trying to kind of teach you that sometimes what you want isn't always the best thing and that's okay that's all right it's a learning experience it's a period for you to pause and reflect and grow maybe you've completely grown into another person and what you wanted isn't what you want anymore and you have to kind of redirect maybe you thought you wanted something and now you're learning a lesson and you're realizing damn i had bad taste i need to change up my taste whatever it may be still lean in trust

your gut listen to it this is just almost like a fine tuning moment you know when you had like shit i don't know i'm fucking old so back in the day when tvs had antennas sometimes it's a antenna whatever a little high messing up my words per usual but sometimes the antenna was messed up it would get like the medium of like a day in between of really staticky and like a clear picture and it was like this really fuzzy picture that's where you are right now you are giving a moment getting a moment to fine tune your antenna and the frequency that you're picking up on it's okay to be wrong sometimes that's fine being human means being wrong sometimes that's okay being a real human who's in touch with yourself means you make mistakes you do the

wrong thing you have the wrong instincts but you're smart enough to learn from them and grow and change and develop okay you're all right it's okay but for real you're gonna have those moments And trust me, when I was a reckless, which I still kind of am, but when I was younger and more reckless, my instincts were sometimes very wrong because I was acting too quickly or I was being a little too rebellious or maybe my hormones were leading me. No matter the case, they were all learning lessons, though, of being like, OK, maybe, you know, what I want isn't truly what I want. and there was some outside influence or I needed to learn this and now I do know what I want or at the very least what I don't want so let's move forward from this and let's not go back to what I was wrong about or keep doing the thing that I was wrong about let's learn let's grow let's change let's develop it's okay I promise it's a redirecting moment a fine tuning moment so learn

grow you will flourish I guarantee it hey girly hope you're doing wonderful um I was wondering what your advice would be on spending more quality time alone while being in a relationship because I feel like this is a really difficult thing for me I always want to be with my partner no matter what I feel like I'd always rather be with them than by myself and I know that I probably you need to be spending more alone time so I was wondering like how you set those boundaries in your relationship and like what suggestions you would have and I also have another question what kind of content do you like like what are your favorite shows or movies or books or podcasts because I feel like I would probably like what you like the girlies probably would too

anyways thank you love you double question all in one minute i love it you were quick with it okay here's the thing i love love i love the feeling of like a new relationship or a relationship you're enthralled with which can be healthy where you are just like i want to be with them i want to spend so much time with them that is an okay feeling okay let yourself fucking be in love don't put up walls don't you know withhold yourself from them it's okay to be like oh my god i want to spend all my fucking time with this person and crawl inside their body and get to know them i love that feeling i love that feeling it's not a sustainable feeling of course but if you are feeling it encourage it garner it because if it is a truly good relationship now here's where the

butt comes in you will be able to garner and flourish within your individuality around that person even though you are coming together as two people to spend time together you should still be a whole human being around them the same way you know you go and you hang out with friends and you spend time with friends but still you are so much the same way you hang out with friends and it's like you know we're spending so much time together but i feel utterly more me when i'm around that person that's how you know it's a good relationship whether it's friendship um you know lovers whatever it may be it's okay to get enthralled with someone and want to spend a lot of time with them and i encourage you to do so do that get to know each other discover more about yourself

through someone else but also I do understand when it becomes toxic and it feels codependent and you feel like you are not full unless you are with that other person which then I really encourage yes alone time alone time is very important you need to be able to know who you are and maintain your individuality within a relationship so the best way to kind of approach that is really to just be like open and honest about it hey I have a hard or a easy time I guess losing myself in relationships I really like you and I would like for this to keep going at the pace it is I would like to continue this relationship it's fantastic but I also will need some alone time here and there to just hang out with myself and spend time with

myself and guess what I bet your partner will hear that and be like oh hell yeah no totally I hear you please do what is best for you they will also probably be excited about the aspect of alone time with themselves and getting to do things alone with themselves like me and my partner spend a lot of time together but whenever he's just like yeah I want to sit in and play video games all day that's my plan like it's my one day off i just want to hang out for the last three hours i have the rest of the night and just play video games and watch a movie i can either be like hell yeah i'm going to then do my own thing as well since you want to do your own thing let's support our individuality while also being within a relationship and all of that comes from communication and being

like hey i just need time if your partner hears that hey you know i'm being level-headed i just want some time alone and they freak out on you or they start making you feel bad or if they don't support that and uphold that and respect that boundary that is a major red flag a major major red flag especially within like a codependent where it's like now they can't be alone and they're not allowing you to be alone just a hot mess within itself your partner should always support uplift and um embrace you at all times and if they aren't time to do some thank and love okay and then what media have i been into recently well okay so we covered the apps i'm really mostly on like pinterest tumblr um like the explore page of instagram if it's good which usually it's not

the algorithm has been off recently i'm like i just want to see cute pictures why can't you provide that for me anyways those are like my go-to and then i have this strange app that i have probably spent about four hours on every single day since i was the age of 14 and that's this app called bazart b-a-z-a-a-r-t and it's like a photo editing collage app and i make so many collages or i'll use it as a journal or i'll use it to like make memes or i'll use to edit pictures like the recent sydney mary collab photos i did i used bizart to create it's just a really fun photo editing app um and i am such a collage visual girl especially when it comes to mood boarding and stuff like that so love that app um podcasters i don't really listen to a lot of

podcast the only person that i listen to podcast wise and the only patreon i subscribe to other than if i could subscribe to myself is sai swoon i really like her and she only puts her podcast out on patreon and i had listened to some of her like lives on instagram and really enjoyed just what she spoke about and the way she spoke and yeah i love listening to her podcast listening to what she's getting into what she is feeding off of in a sense like idea wise um because i find a lot of inspiration from her i think it's really important especially with the media you consume and like podcasts and um people that you follow in a sense is whether in real life or online i am always and constantly looking up to women whether they're younger or older than me because there are

there's so much to learn from them especially women older than you who have gone through a little bit more they just know so much and are so wise and I love listening and learning from them so love that and then I've been listening or not listening I haven't been listening to a lot of music recently actually um I go through periods of like I'll listen to a shit ton of music and make like 10 playlists a day or I'm like constantly consuming like tv shows uh movies and right now i'm in my tv show movie era me and my boyfriend just started the anime bleach last night and honestly it's pretty good i was into it um i haven't watched a lot of animes but this one's a good one i have been really enjoying it and then oh we just finished secession i really

recommend secession it's just this fucked up rich family like in kind of the best possible way i don't even know what to say the drama behind it is fantastic it makes me laugh kind of like the way The Office does where you're just there's so many like weird awkward situations that you're just like I don't even know what the fuck to think about this but it's like with these billionaires um who all have these crazy weird problems really recommend watching it um and then also I've been watching a lot of horror movies recently there's something about the fall and there's something about mid-summer they have the same kind of energies where it's like horror season so the you know summer horror movies such as like Chainsaw Massacre even like Pearl I guess could

be considered a summer horror where it's like farm town we're going into the woods we're going on vacation and something crazy happens um those are the kind of movies I've been watching late at night other than that that's really all the media I've been uh watching listening and doing recently oh my god someone said girl I got carjacked and the man shitted on the driver's how do I stay positive lol listen I love a good positivity moment but we also have to have equal and opposite reactions of emotions and I think that deserves a good I'm gonna go walk out into the street and scream as loud as I possibly can and just let go of the anger that I'm feeling right now and then no matter my financial situation i'm going to treat myself this week

to a detailing and have someone else clean that for probably like 50 bucks i don't know how much a car detailing is but like we're gonna invest okay and we're just gonna get our whole car deep cleaned at this point and while they're getting it deep cleaned i'm gonna go get a coffee and chill and maybe let out one more scream but that's that's how i would stay positive it really is all about especially when you come into bad situations being like okay so i'm going to feel this awful emotion that i'm feeling right now and i'm gonna let it out i'm gonna like punch a pillow i'm gonna scream and then i'm gonna treat myself but like treat myself to fixing the situation in a beneficial way instead of like making myself scrub someone else's shit out with my hands

I'll be like hey dad can I give you $25 please please can I give you $25 to clean this out like somebody find a friend who details cars you can find somebody or like go to the car wash and just fucking spray it out do what you gotta do but sometimes you gotta treat yourself to not having to deal with situations further than you already have hey um any tips on like fomo because i see people all over my goddamn instagram like going on like trips in europe with like five or six friends and like i just cannot like i'm literally a college student and these people are like my age or younger and um i don't know took like gap years and such um I don't know just like different situations you know different

areas of like parts of their lives than I am in but like still I cannot help but have FOMO like I just wish I had fucking friends who would do that with me and also the financial means to go to Europe like I'm literally a broke college student I'm gonna be working and like doing studying abroad but uh yeah I wish I could just do that like how the fuck do I not get FOMO oh my god great question FOMO FOMO really took over a majority of my life and I'm trying to reclaim it back um when I was younger I had a really awful time with FOMO especially because you know you're like a teenager you're still living at your parents you financially cannot do all these crazy things also your parents can't financially let you do all these crazy things

um and you're just a regular old normal person which is totally fine and you should be um who is just gonna spend their time hanging out in their hometown and daydreaming in their bedroom there's something really special about that but then when you get on your phone or somewhere that you try and use as a healthy escape and you see people on daddy's plane or taking off to a different country every week it's hard to not feel bad about yourself it is especially because it looks so good and you want to be there so bad but it is hard to be like uh love them for that i don't wish i was there because you do and i get that and i hear you when i was younger i feel like uh indy what's her name indy blue oh indy blue she was um really popular like she was

the height of her popularity when i was like 15 16 and you know she was in every different country she was constantly on a plane constantly with cute boys doing her damn thing as she should be you know nothing wrong with that but me being a teenager locked inside not on purpose but as normal teenagers are um it was really hard for me to see that and be like yes girl instead i was just like wow i this makes me sad and i wish when i was younger i would have unfollowed her sooner than i did because i had a lot of inner turmoil being like should i unfollow her should i not like why do i feel this way i shouldn't feel this way and listen it's okay to notice you have negative reactions to things and then put a kind of like placement there so you

don't have those negative reactions such as hmm i have a jealousy issue maybe i shouldn't follow all these people that i am getting really jealous of maybe i just need a break from these people that's okay to do it's okay to refresh your feed but also it is important to find people that inspires FOMO there's uninspiring FOMO such as the one I just talked about um like unattainable ways of living that you are trying to acquit your life to and you're just getting upset but then there's like inspirable FOMO and fear of missing out being like wow I need to do this before I die I am so excited to grow up I am so excited to become a full human being and have the world be my playground and you know what I'm sure IndieBlue did inspire that for a lot of people and that's

why she's so popular but for me you know it's not my fault that I felt those or that way about those things but I am proud of myself for being like this isn't inspiring something healthy why don't I redirect my attention into something healthy and then I discovered like um honestly like one of my friends growing up has inspired a lot of uh like good FOMO in my life because she works on different farms seasonally and the way she lives is just like beautifully like she has a yurt she makes her own fires they cook dinner together every night she's growing things she's got her fingers in dirt like it is a very inspiring FOMO it is like something where I see it and I'm like wow I'm so proud of her and I would love to be able to do this and I want to keep up with what

she's doing so decipher that okay if you see people that you're like oof i just this content is not healthy for me it is okay for you to like mute them or to unfollow them um but also i think social media can be a really beautiful place where you can find very inspiring people that inspire that good FOMO of being like wow i love keeping up with this person and i love the way they're living life and I want to live my life that way like it's almost inspiring me to do this instead of inspiring me to crawl back into my hole and think about how much I'm not doing this you know so listen to yourself listen to your gut follow people that really inspire you and provide that good happy feeling of I can't wait to fully be who I am rather than the people that make you feel bad

for who you are right now it's okay to put those boundaries in place especially with social media when i was younger i should have blocked so many people oh my god people who weren't inspiring me people who uh you know i saw and i had a negative reaction towards whatever it may be there doesn't need to be a why there just needs to be a implement in place for you to do these things healthily and to engage with social media healthily and whatever that looks like do it had to take a brief intermission made some yummy lunch i had like shrimp gyoza and these chicken wontons and green beans and i make them super spicy and it is my new favorite lunch every single day the best specifically trader joe's brand gyoza and wontons they just get it right

every time someone asked tips on squirting my boyfriend thinks i can but i never have and don't know how to okay so if you don't know what squirting is it is a phenomenon of like how do i even i feel like the word itself is very descriptive of what's happening but it is very popular in porn very popular in porn so us you know most of us having not received a proper sex sex education like think of porn as real life sex and that's just not how it is usually it's like crazy acrobatics not normal human things that's why it is called porn anyways um yeah some people can do it very easily some people just don't do it and that is a okay but basically and chloe cherry taught me this is squirting is basically just pee it really is and a lot of girls

are gonna argue about it no it's a little bit of pee it's a little bit of cum like it's it's like gonna be a mixture because of course you're having sex and you're turned on but the liquid is literally the same thing as pee like she was like girls who go in before performing like a scene where they have to do this they're chugging gallons of water so i have a couple times but i am gonna be honest with you and tell you that those times were times where i like definitely really had to pee but just like got distracted started having sex and then bada bing bada boom found myself in that situation and yeah it does happen to sometimes blow a man's mind not so mind-blowing for me because i'm like oh my god i'm so sorry but sometimes they love it

so maybe you know just like i'm not saying piss on him like you know what i mean but maybe drink a bunch of water go in there and then the key is a they have to hit your g spot which is like about two inches in and up okay they can use their fingers and you kind of like a uh like come forward like uh like you know when you um sign to someone to like come over come towards you yeah you do that like right within the first two inches and up that plus a little other simulation and you relaxed is the best keys to making that happen relaxation like mega relaxation and then you gotta have the right technique and then yeah you gotta have enough fluids in you for that to escape your body but yeah chloe cherry shout out girl she said it's just piss those men

just maybe have a piss kink no shame hey we all got our things um but yeah good luck someone asked how did i find a nail tech this is a great question i've been getting my nails done consistently like long acrylics fun art for about two years now the first year i was going to a salon i just found a salon who could get them done quick was in and out pretty easy they always stayed on well and i just kept going back um it's really easy to find yourself falling into those routines but then I after a year of like very simple you know little French tip some some stickers sometimes maybe a rhinestone here and there I was like okay but I want to up my nail game a little bit and I went to them and I asked them to do really complex design and they were just like no we can't like

they are there to expedite the process and they want you in there kind of as little as possible because they have other people to get to like the nail salons are busy all the time people are constantly coming in and I totally get that so I had to find somebody with like a little bit more time on their hands and it's funny because the way that I found them was through social media i had a friend repost their friend's work who happened to be a new nail artist and i just went to her instagram saw she could do some really cool fucking stuff um and dm'd her and now i am on my second set i think by her in the span of three months they've held on so well she does amazing art um and i cannot wait to get my nails done again by her and constantly have her there like

my last nails took five hours and we were just sitting there chit-chatting living our best lives it was fantastic if you're in the kansas city area her instagram is uh nails by meg so check her out so so talented but you can really get connected to so many different creative creative people through social media and that's why i think like there's good and bad everything of course including social media um but one of the good things is it really has put me in touch with so many creative individuals and people who like I'm a creative individual so I feed off other creative individuals and it's like a healthy back and forth balance and I love supporting and uplifting creatives that I happen to run into on the internet and it's been a blast

hi Hannah um you can probably hear the rain um but I want to say that I feel really lame lately and really uncool um I want to be friends with all these cool people but I can I never feel like I'm good enough um and I'm introverted so it's harder for me to it's hard for me to make friends in general I love spending time alone like I have hobbies I'm I've been working on my style I just started like working out so I can get the body I want I feel more confident I don't know but if I I still feel so lame like I've never been in a relationship ever and I'm kind of at the point where it's like I feel like I should have I know there's no like time there's no set plan but it feels like I should and I crave connection but I just feel so lame to let anything happen and I

just have low fucking self-esteem and I need help um okay bye okay babe I think this is like the one thing you need to hear. You will never be cool if you are constantly trying to prove yourself to other people. You're going out of your way to seek validation from people who are not like you and probably won't get you and that's okay. You're going out of your way to change your style, change who you are so you feel more accepted you are feeling like you are not good enough because you haven't been accepted by other people whether it's friendship or romantically but all of that would be solved and you would feel so fucking cool if you just took a moment to accept yourself and took a moment to sit down and be like you know what i am fucking cool and maybe i do like

hanging out inside maybe I am a little bit more of an introvert maybe I don't like to go out and party maybe I do like to sit inside and watch movies maybe I maybe that's what makes me cool and you have to own it and acceptance is hard it's hard especially when you know you see so many other people living so many different lives and there are so many different choices and so many different things you can do but the only ones that are going to feel correct are the ones that are based within yourself and based within what you truly want so i dare you your turn i dare you to literally look at all those people and be like fuck them let's focus on me who am i what do i enjoy let's fully embrace who that is and fully respect it and not try and dismiss it or run away

from it anymore and when you do that the universe has a really funny way of also putting people into your life who are the same as you and see you and accept you for who you are because you have seen and accepted yourself but if you are constantly going in a circle of running away from yourself and running towards other people you will constantly be chasing whether you get a little bit of that validation and that's taken away or you never get that validation you are constantly going to be chasing and that is a endless chase that i don't want you to be on for the rest of your life you're fucking cool okay you're amazing you're smart you're talented you are loved i am here to tell you that so why are you denying that from yourself you gotta be your number one

supporter you gotta show up for yourself and that was kind of the hardest thing i had to learn i was always like a weird kid and you know my parents make fun of me a little bit my brother make fun of me a little bit my friends will always be like yeah you know you're a little bit of weird kid that's okay i always saw that as like a oh so i need to change but no they were just telling me that is something you need to emphasize on and own and live up to those are okay things to live up to and to embrace. If they have to do with you, you've got to own it. I love you. You will do a fantastic in this life. You are cool, but you got to believe it first. Before anybody else believes it, you got to believe that shit. So yeah, I just challenge you to really take time to lean into

yourself, to own who you are, to listen to those gut feelings and gut instincts of what do I want to wear and who do I want to be and what kind of people do I want to surround myself with but once you become really in touch with who you are a the universe is going to bring people into your life that see that and love that fully but b those relationships are going to go further than any sort of relationship you would have built with the people who don't fully accept you they'll be much deeper they'll be more of a connection they'll probably last longer so don't chase these empty relationships based on you know surface level ideals chase these relationships that are built on deep interpersonal connection they're a little flawed they're vulnerable but those are really

the best and to get to those you really have to get flawed and vulnerable with yourself i love you you got this you're amazing let's do it together think of the coolest girl you know right now everybody right now think of the coolest girl you know that person is probably cool to you not because of what she wears or what she eats or where she's going but because of the fact that she knows who the fuck she is she owns it and she is that unapologetically that is really what you got to lean into you can't buy your way into this you can't act your way into this you can't copy and someone else's identity you truly what makes a cool girl a cool girl is the attitude of i am who i am and i am never gonna deny that and i am never gonna let anybody overshadow that and i'm going to

uplift and support myself till the very fucking end that energy is so radiant and such a amazing abundance of energy to tap into and we can all get there absolutely you gotta decide you want to get there you gotta stand by yourself you gotta challenge yourself a little bit you gotta get to know yourself and then you gotta not run away but i promise we can all be cool girls all right love yourself someone asked uh lube recommendations and my only recommendation is really coconut oil i don't recommend that if you're using a condom because i think it coconut oil naturally breaks down um the condom so careful like you have to if you're using a condom you have to really make sure the type of lubricant you're using is safe for that which i guess i'm guessing

would be like a silicone based one but i find it i silicone based ones dry up faster almost because of the friction uh yeah coconut oil coconut oil all the way a it smells good b it tastes good c you're like extra moisturized afterwards really really recommend and then sometimes if you want to get crazy with it um you can use baby oil and like put a towel down but then just cover your whole body you can start out off like with a massage like massage your back but cover it in baby oil so it's like slick and then you can cover your whole body and then it's like hot sexy oiled up love oh my god i'm so excited to talk about this we're gonna talk about toxic traits very exciting love it someone asked is it bad to stalk a hookup spotify page what are your thoughts

me and my boyfriend were talking about this last night because he was like you know i wouldn't mind having your location because sometimes you say you're on the way and then you get distracted and then it's like 30 minutes later and i'm just terrified that you're dead somewhere i'm like okay valid but let me give you my response which is i cannot share or have someone else's location because i am a crazy fucking bitch who will stalk your every movement and in turn me kind of having access to this information makes me crazy because I feel more of a compulsion to check it all the time and he was like oh okay valid when you notice you have crazy behaviors toxic behaviors it's okay to be like hey this is a reoccurring issue within my

life why is this reoccurring and what are some little boundaries that we can put in place so it doesn't happen i used to have such a bad compulsion of checking location checking snap score stalking spotify whatever it may be and i learned that if i have that kind of capability or information available to me i become just a different version of myself that is so anxiety ridden so compulsed to stalk this person that it is just unhealthy and maybe this is just a me issue i don't know i feel like a lot of girls are like this because i mean yeah it's there why not why not check it he's not responding to me why not check if his snap score would up so I learned that this just gave me way more anxiety than it should and I need to remove these things from my life I don't use snapchat

anymore it was a bad occurrence when we were first dating because we only talked over snapchat and then I realized this is a bad habit I need to cut snapchat out and just like kind of not really use the app let's go to texting like let's text more often instead of just sending photos good healthy change it up set a boundary move on you don't have to go into details such as I'm stalking your snap score but sometimes you just have to be like okay so we're gonna switch up the dynamic here you know looking at people's Instagram pages or their Spotify that might be you know not as bad unless you're looking at who's interacting with it but also whoever's interacting with it doesn't fucking matter there has to be kind of also a level of trust within

that relationship that you have to garner and that they also have to um support as well so a you know notice that you're fucking crazy and you have a bad habit of stalking in a sense set up boundaries as best as you can and then also whenever you have this compulsion if it is something that you just like can't help such as checking followers or who liked this or who they're interacting with whenever you have that compulsion you really have to stop and have a talk with yourself and be like I need to be able to trust this person if they are somebody that is supposed to be in my life I need to be able to trust them they need to be able to trust me and listen, if they're gonna do some weird fucking sneaky shit behind your back, it's gonna happen

whether you are stalking their social media page a million times a day or not. Like, so you might as well choose your piece. If they don't want you to know, you probably won't know. And no amount of like overextending yourself or being hyper aware of what they are doing is going to stop you from being put in that situation other than if a hopefully i have chosen the right person and hopefully they are a trustworthy person and if not then i'll find out and then i'll get them the fuck out of my life that is really all you can rely on so a maybe you don't need that person's location because you have a stalking habit and you have a awful anxiety problem and you'd like to send yourself into anxiety spirals and b maybe i should be able to trust this person because

listen if they're gonna do shady shit that shady shit's gonna happen no matter what so why the fuck stress yourself out like there's no point you might as well hope and pray and trust that it'll work out because you're a good person you're deserving of good things but hey if you find out that it's not going the way you need to go, you've got to get them out. Cut them out immediately. All right? Love you. Hey, girl. Number one, love the podcast. I even listen to you with my boyfriend sometimes. But I got in here because I really need some advice on basically just how to find your way in life. Like I'm, I'm about to be in my junior year of high school, which I'm not too nervous about just excited to get out but like what happens after I really

want to go to college for art I want to go to SAIC in Chicago but obviously my parents aren't letting me because it's a big city they're worried about me which I get like my boyfriend already graduated he never really was interested in college so I get that do whatever you need to do hon but I'm also scared of being away from him I have a little bit of attachment issues but anyways I just how do you find your way because I would love to go into art but that area is hard to be in you know love you I'm running out to all my young girls out there you know what the fuck you want stop making excuses for why you can't go after it I held my back held myself back for so long because I was like oh my parents won't let me or oh I have a

boyfriend or oh but I'm a little nervous yeah new things are gonna be nervous but you told me within the first 10 seconds exactly what you wanted to the question that you asked you said how do you find your way in life I want to go to this city I want to go to this school I want to study art but here's why I can't the but here's why I can't is not relevant as soon as you graduate high school you are fully in charge of your life a million percent and if your parents are good people and your boyfriend's a good person they will support you in all of your decisions especially if it is to go to art school okay if you find a good college and you're passionate about it you're going to succeed no matter what in art in science in whatever it may be if you are passionate about

it and you stand by yourself and you get yourself there you will succeed getting there is the hardest part having the balls to stand up and say you know what no this is what i want and this is what i'm gonna do that's the hardest part but as soon as you make that decision every single puzzle piece falls into place and things become so easy you have to stop deserting yourself deserting your dreams running away from what you truly want that's how you find your life path it's not about oh i have no idea it's about well i do know what i want but there's a million things standing in my way you got to overcome those things to get to what you want all right i feel like we everybody everybody on this planet has an inkling of what they want to do whether you're like me who was

like no I was born to create and to connect and I've known that since I was a child or you're the kind of person who's like no I really have no idea what I want to do but I enjoy gardening and I enjoy this hobby and I enjoy that hobby cool maybe you can get an easy little nine to five you can go to college but you still have to garner those things within your life and support the things within your life that bring you happiness and joy whether they are a big big goal or a small everyday one and for you you're focused on the big big goal which is graduate high school get to your dream college study your dream job your dream degree whatever it may be so go after it stop holding yourself back that is how you get everything you've ever possibly desired I love you and it's

not gonna be the easy choice it never is picking yourself is never the easy choice that's something I always keep running into it's always like the hardest one possible and I'm like why can't it be just a walk in the park like just today please like I just want to choose myself and have it be the easy one I want it to be I want to feel seamless but sometimes it's a little messy and it's a little weird and it's a little awkward and it's a hard conversation to have but ultimately you will be better off for it so go after what you want babe believe in yourself oh someone asked getting the ick for everyone around you while high this is a real phenomenon oh my god i feel like it can be one of two things for me personally it means either a

these people are bad vibes bad vibes and hi hannah knows something that i don't and she's telling me right now that these are bad vibes and they just do not get it and i get it but they don't get it which is sometimes true b which is probably more often than not it means that i am an extra judgmental crazy bitch and i need to chill out and let people be who the fuck they are and accept them fully for who they are because I want the same thing in life and I don't want someone to be sitting across from me high looking at me like that bitch is annoying like I get when I am but sometimes you know I get high and I'm like a little too overstimulated by everything including the people around me and it's not their fault and sometimes I just need to like go for a

little walk and come back with a fresh perspective it can mean either things sometimes you just have to have like a little conversation with yourself like i'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick and i'm gonna have a talk with her in the mirror and be like we need to chill but then also sometimes you get high and you get like that spidey sense like that third eye feeling of this person isn't who I thought they were and maybe I need to listen to that and I need to take steps within my life to distance myself it can mean either thing you really gotta judge it based on the situation but it is a really funny phenomenon someone asked college yes or no here's the thing i dropped out twice and you would think my answer would be like

hell no don't go to college but if i was like 40 right now and my child or maybe 50 or maybe 60 i don't know when i'm gonna have kids anyways if my child came to me and was like of teen years and was like do I go to college or not my answer a million percent would be go to college go to college discovering yourself as an adult outside of college is very hard and it's going to be the hard route go to college find a college that a is in an area that you want to be in that is a good area for you, in a good city, in a place you are curious about that you've always wanted to go to. B, make sure that college has multiple different options of things that interest you, different majors you can choose from, whether it's art or creating or science or nursing,

whatever it may be. Make sure there's multiple options there for you. C, go undecided your first year like in our school you don't have a choice everybody's undecided that first year so you can get the bare basics in and then you pick your major the second year which you can do at any normal college you can go undecided your first year and figure it out and then decide your major your second year because that's usually when everybody decides their major that allows you to change your mind and try new things and explore d you're going to be with a lot of like-minded individuals who are going through the same process that you are and you will bond with them and you will make lifelong friends there and you you will have a place that is a safe space for

you to explore the world as an adult and then I would say during your whole you know um four years in university travel abroad at least once every single thing I'm telling you I did not do and I only know that this is how you should do it because I messed up and now I'm able to look back and see what the right process is usually study abroad is like your second or third year for like a semester there are different foundations and funds and scholarships you can apply for to get into college there are different scholarships and stuff you can apply for to study abroad talk to your financial advisor talk to your loan advisor do all the things make sure it's a good choice but if the simple answer is college yes or no my answer is yes someone else asked how to

be more intimate slash present during sex i keep my eyes closed the whole time lol so step number one open your eyes uh lights on scary or put on fun lights you know what overhead lights are never a vibe even when i'm just sitting alone at home put on like a cute little disco ball light turn on some fun leds turn like a pink or red light you know set the mood look at your partner okay key number one in fact maybe even involve like a mirror so you're not like staring at them in the eyes but you can still watch in a sense as in like looking in a mirror and being able to see both of you i feel like that helped me stay really present because i was able to focus on myself outside of my body in a sense instead of being too hyper focused on like my brain um talking fantastic

way to stay present um such as that feels good do this encouragement um talking to each other is really really helpful and it's also a really great way when you find yourself deep into your head of like breaking it immediately as soon as i speak out loud i feel like i break that attachment that i have with just being so deep in my mind and not present in my body i also feel like high sex kind of helps with this because it breaks down that kind of barrier of overthinking at least for me personally maybe it heightens it for you but for me i feel like high sex really breaks down that barrier and helps me really get in touch with my body and the bond that you are building with your partner and for me personally i love that feeling especially as someone who just

overthinks constantly constantly lives in their head sex can be really hard you know you want to be in touch with the other person but your mind constantly gets in the way i feel like you're sharing a little joint with your partner pre-sex like kind of using that as like um the foreplay using that time for foreplay chit-chatting breaking down the barrier of anxiety and then really getting into it it heightens all feelings um of sensuality for me which i love um and really really helps me escape that brain jail that sometimes happens to happen a lot for me um yeah i think those are all kind of my best tips so eyes open okay find like a good mirror position it so you can see yourself and each other talking maybe sharing a little smoke beforehand to really

elevate the intimacy if you don't smoke you can share like a shower or a bath together would be fantastic um implementing new things new toys new ideas is a really great way to stay present during sex um but yeah those are kind of my best tips oh and also 69 okay it takes off all the pressure of like having to pay attention to each other or like being paid attention to because that's my issue um and you both are kind of just doing your own thing getting into it really just kind of focusing on giving and receiving and i love that someone said have you ever been in a mosh pit yes i have um love a good mosh pit when i was younger and wanted to just get thrown around now i'm good without the mosh pit i love a good crowd i love a group dance moment

but i don't need the elbows to the face anymore i am good for sure i also realize there's a lot of grown men in mosh pits who are only in mosh pits to hurt women and that shit is fucking wild the mosh pit should be sacred the mosh pit should be equal to everybody um if you're afraid of getting broken don't go in the mosh pit that's really all i know anyways with that being said i have to get on with my day and i have to get this out to you guys so thank you all for being here thank you all for submitting your wonderful beautiful questions hanging out with me a little bit. It has been a fucking blast. I love spending my Tuesday afternoon with you guys every single week. It is so beautiful to be able to experience this life alongside you. Hopefully I can provide

some laughs, some encouragement, some answers along the way. That's really my only goal as we take this journey that is life together. Remember to drink your water. Remember to lay in the sun. remember to encourage discovery remember to eat a good meal get enough sleep take care of yourself you know the drill it was fantastic having you guys here today take a bowl for me or do something nice for yourself in honor of me i would love for you guys to if not take one thing away from this just it being listen to yourself take care of yourself honor and trust yourself love you all so much i will see you all so very soon