Smoke Sesh - Valentine’s Day, self love & seasonal affective disorder

Episode Date: February 1, 2022

Happy Tuesday! It’s officially February so we talk what Hannah has planned for Valentine’s Day, gift ideas for couples, galentines day, how to moderately smoke weed, smoking in public, self care & self love this season, SAD tips, and getting over heart break. Feel free to hang out and light up, welcome to Smoke Sesh! I’ll see you all Thursday. Feel free to submit any questions to Instagram @hannahmarlene MUAH

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Good morning! Happy February 1st, everybody!

ah it's the month of love i'm so excited you may not be excited but i'm gonna get you excited okay valentine's day used to haunt me it used to eat away at my soul and this year is all about reclaiming love reclaiming self-love showing yourself love so welcome to smoke sesh we're gonna get into that today we're gonna get into everything there is love valentine's day previous valentine's days and i'm gonna answer some of your questions i'm very excited oh my goodness it is 9 a.m on february 1st 2022 um i wanted to record this on 2-2 2022 because i feel like that'd be cooler but then I would not have a podcast out to you in time so we are doing it on February 1st um what have I been up to let's do a little recap okay well last time I filled

you in was Thursday um oh we followed the Instagram oh well my Instagram a lot of people were confused because I posted that I was bartending and they were like oh I thought you were waitressing I thought you're a waitress like what I'm confused it's like yes I was a a waitress i was a waitress uh i still am i do part-time waitressing but my restaurant also hired me on as a bartender so i'm learning how to bartend which is super duper fun i don't know if you guys have heard me talking about wanting to learn how to bartend um on this podcast but i don't know i thank god my manager finally finally listened to me and put me on bar so I literally have a bar shift today um uh and I love bartending it's super fun it's not like I

like being able to switch it up too because like I can waitress and waitressing is like super busy high pace fast energy bartending is a little bit slower because although it's super faced what did I just say it's 9am okay my brain is not woken my coffee cup is still full I am so sorry if anything i say just sounds like a hot fucking mess okay but um although it is still super busy and you're still working just as fast as the waitresses the waiters um you're just making drinks and you're taking care of your bar so it's a lot it's it's a lot different and it's nice to be able to switch it up on some shifts because like i'll get tired of serving and then i'll be like thank god i have a bartending shift coming up so it's a little different when i go to work

um so yeah come get your drinks from me everybody's like where do you work where do you work I would love to tell you where I work I just am not um I'm so sorry um maybe one day like if I get a bartending shift or bartending job at like a club somewhere where it's like I don't know maybe my restaurant my restaurant's more of like a sit down eat restaurant I don't really want to get my two lives confused like it's very awesome when I'm serving and the people I'm serving don't know who I am because it makes my job just easier and I'm like okay let's keep going um but yeah I'm low-key not gonna tell you guys where I work but if you find me which like if you live in Kansas City at some point you'll probably eat at my restaurant and you'll see me please always feel

free to say hey i'd be more than happy to make you a little drinky drink tip me well um but yeah i was about to be like oh here's my restaurant and then i was like maybe that's not the best decision i feel like that's also kind of like giving up my address like i just should not do that anyways yeah i've been bartending super fun making lots of money i had my day off yesterday i thank god oh my god finally had a day off spent the day doing running so many errands depositing so much money because after work once i get off my shift it's just all cash in my hand so like i'm walking around with hundreds of dollars in my hand it's like i need to go put this in my bank asap before i get robbed um cleaned my room my sweet sweet boyfriend bought me a massage yesterday

so i spent the morning going and getting a massage and it was so incredible um if you're ever interested in a good massage therapist in kansas city tree of life massage um off main street incredible 10 out of 10 recommend she's amazing um i got my boyfriend a massage for christmas and then he returned the favor and got me one um for my day off so i think we're just gonna keep trading massages i think that's gonna be our new thing it's always fun to have like something going on with your significant other like a lot of people are asking um i guess we can dive into questions that's really all i've been up to i haven't really been up to a whole lot tvh um nothing's too too exciting just making that money baby um but i get a lot of questions

that are like how do i how do we keep things interesting how do we spice it up like i'm kind of bored in this long-term relationship and the key to like making long-term relationships work especially from me and air sign who i don't know like i get bored with things very quickly i've never gotten bored with this man because he's got shit figured out um but what i've noticed has helped is we treat each other as if we are still in the first month of like knowing each other does that make sense you know those first like three months you're like kind of putting on a show like kind of not like getting to know each other you're trying to like put your best self forward do stuff for that person so they know you're interested yeah we just keep doing that through

the whole entire relationship like like that's how it's supposed to be like i flirt with him all day over text i act like like even though i know we're gonna spend every night together he always like so what are you doing later like you want to come over and hang out like we are still treating each other as if we are trying to win each other over even though we have fully won each other over we still put that effort into it and i think that's a really very big important step because a lot of men and a lot of women get in a relationship they finally achieve their relationship goal check mark and then they don't put any effort into it after that and that's when people get bored that's when they bad things happen that's when things leave um i genuinely

do think you need to put effort into your relationship 24 7 i know and i know you're like that might be a lot of work and cool it is a lot of work that's what relationships are they are work it takes effort who would have fucking thought um any sort of relationship is going to take effort especially a romantic one um and if you don't want to put that effort in if you don't think you can put the effort in that's fine maybe don't go for a relationship okay if you want to focus all your time on yourself that's okay that's a bad bitch move maybe don't go for a relationship anyways um but yeah i've just been bartending and waitressing and hanging out i'm trying to plan a few trips so i'm trying to get that organized but i gotta fucking make some money

first um and then i'm also trying to plan for valentine's day uh i was waiting around yesterday at my house because i thought my valentine's day dress was gonna get delivered um but it didn't unfortunately and i want to cry but it should be here like today or tomorrow and oh my god it's incredible okay so here's my valentine's day plans first of all valentine's day is on a monday I think me and my boyfriend both work on Mondays so we might be possibly celebrating it early I'm not sure yet like on the weekend um just we have like a full day to like spend together hang out together do all of our favorite things um really appreciate each other and spend time instead of just being like okay we got an evening let's go after we both worked you know like that's just

anyways um the plan so far or at least what I've planned so far is well I got this incredible incredible Wolford dress if you don't know who the Wolford company is they make like great intimate pieces for women um and very very very expensive it's a very good like incredible designer and i found a dress on depop for like 80 and she was like if it's a medium i'm like an extra small to small okay i was like okay i think i can fit into it like i'm very curvy i think i can fit into it and if not i'll get it tailored so i'm waiting for that to get here um so i can get it tailored maybe but it's so cute it has like it's um long black bodycon strapless and then it has these mesh panels um that go through it that kind of like hint at like your lower back

or your ribs or your belly or like a high leg it's beautiful it is so cute it gives me Jean Paul Gaultier vibes um I don't know if I said that right um but I'm very excited and then I got matching Victoria's Secret um little kitten heels and they're like red bottom kitten heels with like uh ostrich black ostrich feathers on the toes so cute don't know how i'm gonna do my hair i'm gonna do a little makeup moment i'm not sure um me trying to plan i'm getting stressed anyways uh that will be for the night time not sure what we're gonna do the morning i love i'll probably we'll probably go to breakfast i love going to breakfast um spend the afternoon hanging out cuddling what's fucking better than that also it's the winter time and we're about

to get hit with a fucking snowstorm so i don't think like going outside is an option otherwise i would probably be outside um but for the nighttime part we're gonna get ready dress up i'm not sure if i want to cook him dinner or if we should go out to dinner um i personally really really love cooking i love the intimacy of cooking i love working together so i think i might just get a bunch of items and obviously italian why would i not make italian um i think i'm just gonna pre portion all the stuff so we can cook together maybe some wine maybe homemade pizzas we could do homemade heart-shaped pizzas or like any homemade italian pasta like what's hotter than that although it'll bloat the fuck out of me who cares and then that night i think we're gonna go

to or i'm gonna take him because he doesn't like to get out but i love getting out i love going out getting a drink a cocktail so i think i'm gonna drag him out to green lady lounge which is like this um jazz lounge jazz cocktail bar super cute in kansas city love it um so i think i'm gonna drag his ass there but holy shit so me and my boyfriend met we were both a little crazy um it was during pandemic and he's terrified of needles but i convinced him to let me pierce his ears so like bought needles online and literally pierced his ears and he had to do it slow because he's like i'm gonna pass the fuck out um also he might have been on mushrooms and i pierced them i think he was on mushrooms and i pierced his ears i understand why that would

freak honestly anybody out um here's some different gifts i've gotten my boyfriend if you need ideas okay so last Christmas and Valentine's Day I wasn't really sure if we were super um I don't know I like we were still kind of figuring out what we were so gifts weren't really like I wasn't really popping on gifts like I'm very into gifts I love gift giving um I love the I like the thought I put behind it so for his birthday I got him one year I painted a um uh I painted a skateboard for him he skates I painted a skateboard of my anyways naked body on the back that was one that was a vibe you can also get um also just like if they skate a great idea is any sort of skateboard if you like the art it can be a great wall piece if you don't really care about the art cool um you're

getting him an item that supports his passions it's super awesome like if someone got me art supplies for valentine's day i would be like that's true love because you understand me and my passions and you see that um and you're like honoring that on a day for us like that's super cool so i'm not sure if i want to well like i had this idea in mind but me getting off topic anyways you can get them a skateboard you can get them like any sort of hobby activity that they like to enjoy like they like to enjoy their music person maybe like a cheap guitar that is no cheap guitars i don't know how expensive a musical equipment is but you know what i'm saying if you like video games maybe get them a new controller maybe get them a new game i'm not sure

um but like I said I pierced his ears when we were um early on into our relationship so I was gonna get him earrings like a very nice he's so handsome I think he looks better in silver I think I look better in gold so I've been looking at silver earrings for him and I found these incredible like Turkish design little drop earrings with opals in them and I was like yes found him on ebay and i was bidding for like four days in these earrings and someone outbid me at the last fucking second and i almost cried so now hannah's having to do some thinking and some brainstorming about what the f i need to get this man um because literally all of my ideas are gone um i think i also might get him maybe a new pair of skate shoes because he

destroys his shoes super fast and those are like 80 um like not too bad any pair of shoes is always like a great idea um i thought about getting him like a a locket and putting an ass pic inside of it okay that might still happen i think that's super funny it might his entire lock screen is my ass pic so like why not put it on his neck when he's walking around everywhere um i still am i get him earrings so also i had this idea of creating a calendar and a monthly calendar um and doing like a fun photo shoot um and each month is like a different theme photo shoot and putting that together for him as well as have you seen the playboy hoodies before um and not like the playboy hoodies that you've seen on the tiktok trends because literally

there's ironing on like a 12 by 12 sheet of paper like no i want this professional i want this like playboy quality babes so um also thinking about um because i've gotten him a playboy hoodie before for like a christmas present or something not of me but i would love to make one of me he always is like hannah you're such a centerfold like you're such a centerfold so i've also thought about making him like a like you know the beer poster trend but simply just a centerfold image of me poster anyways those have been my ideas um anything on valentine's day um if you guys oh my god let's have this talk if it's a situationship if there's no label there's no gift women if there's no label there's no gift men if there's no label that's your fucking fault

and you should probably get her a gift okay the most you should do like if that if that man has not put a label on things if he's not sure if he wants you the most you should do on valentine's day is go out with friends okay if he invites you over cool hang out ask him if he wants to do something for valentine's day but do not buy that man anything okay that is a waste of money and i've seen a lot of women embarrassed by that and i have also been embarrassed by that so just don't do it trust me save yourself the embarrassment um but yeah i don't know i'm very excited for valentine's day i love love i love celebrating love i love seeing people in love i also think it's a great day simply to use it as a reminder to love yourself i feel like a lot

of people like especially when i was younger like i never got into a relationship until i was like 1920 okay i never got into a serious relationship and so valentine's day up until then was like I hate this I hate every second of this all these couples everywhere what's like this is my nightmare it's just reminding me that I'm single that is such a toxic mindset and I understand that a lot of us have that mindset because Valentine's Day has been taken over by our capitalist community and completely used to sell things especially to people who are in love so it's kind of been pushed towards that narrative but i think it's an incredible wonderful day to remind yourself that you are deserving of love and if anybody's gonna give that to you it's yourself

okay like i'm probably gonna buy myself a little something for valentine's day i'm gonna go get my nails done i'm gonna do a little like spa treatment thing in the morning like maybe go get another massage who knows but you need to treat yourself on that day if you are single you need to show yourself you're special because you are and just because you quote-unquote don't have somebody in your life oh i'm single whatever that doesn't mean you don't deserve to be treated well okay and a lot of growing up is realizing that if you are just waiting for somebody to treat you well it's not going to happen the action needs to start with you okay and then people are very easy to pick up on it so start with yourself okay honor yourself what do you enjoy doing what are your

favorite things to do is there something on your wish list that you've been wanting for a while buy it have it delivered on february 14th like do something for yourself because you deserve it okay valentine's day doesn't have to be stressful anyways that is my thoughts on valentine's day treat yourself treat your loved ones tell everybody you love them okay who knows when it will be your last moment on earth and everybody you love deserves to know that they are loved okay that is really all valentine's is about it doesn't need to be some capitalist oh i need to go buy certain things i need to do this a certain way i need to have a partner no that's bullshit don't let the american propaganda get to your head like that okay it's about love what do you love what do

you enjoy doing treat yourself you deserve it you deserve to feel loved but let's get into some questions because it is now almost 10 o'clock and i have to work in three hours okay how do you keep up with being tired all the time great question i am exhausted um well in my right hand there's a cup of coffee so that's super helpful um i don't know you just fucking get used to it like i'm not even joking i am always tired 24 7 and i do think even the massage lady hold on i drink some coffee you want to click um I do genuinely think like hot girl rule number one always stay hydrated okay I have noticed that a majority a majority of my tiredness lethargy lethargy is that a fucking word anyways is for me being dehydrated it's for me simply not having my brain working

at a capacity enough that's um helpful because i'm not taking care of it enough you would be shocked at how much water you a need to be drinking and how your body feels after you drink all that water like i'm dead ass um but yeah drinking water and a good amount of water get yourself a hydro flask they're so cute they keep your water so fucking cold like that is on my wish list i need a hydro flask put some stickers on it make it fun okay drink your water drink your water you will feel 10 times less tired okay but for all my girlies who are overworked hard working i get you i got you like i am the same exact way tbh everybody in the restaurant industry is taking adderall okay i don't do adderall i don't take adderall i'm really not

prescribed Adderall even though I probably do have ADHD I survive solely off of caffeine okay which is kind of crazy and probably not the best idea but listen I'm really addicted to something I'd rather have it be caffeine um so yeah I just wake up and I have a cup of coffee and then when I go to work at like two I'll have another cup of coffee from um the coffee shop next door and then I'll probably have like some green tea at work which is like super high in caffeine um or um maybe like some soda I don't know but I'll have another re-up of caffeine I like five like it's a lot of caffeine and I found that if I simply do not drink caffeine I don't get shit done which is kind of crazy and kind of sad i wish i had like that natural um need to do stuff but i don't

like i need to be feeling like those jitters that okay let's go let's get out of here let's go run errands um or else i won't do shit like i won't leave my bed i won't get off my phone and even the massage lady i saw yesterday she was like how much water you drink i'm like not a lot i need to drink more she's like yep water is so important it'll make you feel so much better you'll get so much work done like i was like girl i know you're preaching to the choir here but really though water will make you feel so much better keeping up on vitamins making sure you're eating good balanced meals um eating on time making sure that you're getting a good night's rest like the only reason i was able to wake up at like 8 30 today is because i went to bed at like

10 like i go to bed at 10 if i go to bed at 12 1 whatever i make sure i always have eight hours of sleep okay it's just genuinely making sure your body is well taken care of um and then after that yeah caffeine i love caffeine i love coffee my coffee order some of you asked me my go-to coffee order well right now um i'm loving a hot oat milk latte with an extra shot and then um caramel and coconut that's been the vibe recently i've been loving coconut in my coffee and then if it's um in the summer my always go-to is iced oat milk iced oat milk latte extra shot with coconut and vanilla i know crazy right or not coconut and vanilla coconut and what am i thinking of oh my god the little purple flowers oh i'm so stupid like why can i not think of that i'm

literally seeing the image in my head you ever have those days where you're like i know what it is i just literally lavender lavender i don't know why i was thinking it started with a v there's a v in it this is where my brain is i am so exhausted but really you just have to power through you do there's no other option like i am exhausted 24 7 but if i don't get my work done i feel worse than if i chose to not do it so get your shit done anyways oh okay how can i balance my smoking habits they said they went cold turkey for a month but they wanted to start again um cold turkey for a month is pretty good i'm not gonna lie um props to you cold turkey tbh is tbh is the best way to go like I'm not even kidding um you just gotta cut it off smoke that last bowl and

don't go back for like a while it'll reset your body like completely it'll feel great um but if you're getting back into it as somebody who smokes a lot and if I ever needed to cut down here is what I did. Um, I would just like slowly start integrating it, um, as a reward tool. Does that make sense? Um, like the same way people treat wine is how you need to treat, um, your weed, um, intake. No one's really out there drinking wine at 2 PM. And if they are, it's like I have the whole day off this is a treat so it's fine but I would only smoke like when I needed to keep myself in control like I had shit to do I knew I needed to focus only smoke only smoke if I had all of my shit done I had showered for the night I was ready to sit down and not do

anything okay then I would load myself a bowl and I would smoke but half the time I didn't even smoke because i was too exhausted from getting all my shit done all day um so i think that is like the best way to approach weed especially weed intake see it as wine okay if you got a day off cool you can smoke in the afternoon but relatively keep it as a tool for when you are wanting to treat yourself after a long hard day then like smoke a little bowl and don't go crazy don't go smoke like 10 bowls in one night just like have your bowl your tolerance is probably super low because you took a cold turkey month off and you're probably not going to be smoking super often so a bowl should get you there and then yeah have the best sleep of your life and do it again the

next day i think that's the best way to approach weed oh this is a great question how long is heartbreak supposed to last it's been she said it's been weeks and i feel sick no felt that like felt that heartbreak is a whole different other level of pain and a pain that i've never felt quite before um and it's something that when it happens to you it's like debilitating when my first boyfriend um when i was like 18 19 broke up with me i thought it was the end of the fucking world like I am not even shitting you I thought like it felt like my heart had actually broken in my body it felt like I was attached to this person I was like going insane I was looking up TED talks how to get over heartbreak does heartbreak really end how long

is this supposed to last this is miserable and no amount of TED talk or person that I that I asked could give me the answer of when is this gonna end does it hurt like this forever the only thing they could really tell me is that what I was feeling was normal and everybody feels that way okay that's all that really matters you're normal everybody feels that way heartbreak sucks it hurts it is not fun okay you're not alone every other person in this world who has gone through a breakup has felt what you are feeling right now and i think that gave me the most comfort than anything else because there's no remedy there's no oh quick fix there's no you do this you do this and you're done okay as much as I wish I could give you those tips um other

than just like focusing on yourself and bettering yourself throughout the process um knowing that you're not alone and that eventually it will be over is kind of what gave me the most hope you just have to accept it i know as crazy as it sounds when you get broken up with you cannot live in the past oh well we were like this this this you cannot live in the future oh well well what if he comes back what if he wants me again uh there's none of that it is you and your feelings and your emotions right now at this very moment and it is these steps that you need to take to better yourself there is no more you guys there's no more them it is you and what you need to do for yourself and i think getting through my first breakup the reason i got through it and it took

months it took months like it took a long time um because it kind of caught me off guard i wasn't expecting him to break up with me i really did like that man um well at the time i dodged a fucking bullet you you will realize that later on down the road a couple years that you dodged a bullet but at the time it sucks like I understand but really the only thing that really helped me move through it was focusing and bettering myself and making plans for my future because when you leave someone when you break up heartbreak sucks and it feels like your whole like reality is kind of shifted because you've made plans with that person you've made a future with that person And all of a sudden, it's gone.

So start making a future with yourself. What are you going to do? What are your plans? What are the plans that are still going to work out? What do you have to look forward to? That's how you move through heartbreak, okay? And it's not going to last forever, I guarantee. Looking back, like I said in one podcast, when my first ex broke up with me,

I kept, like, I would journal my feelings instead of wanting to send them to him or send them to my friends or talk to my mom or anything like that I just journal them and I'd make like diary entries of every day if I was feeling it and then like like whatever I thought about the heartbreak and how bad it felt I would just journal and so like that first journal entry was like seven paragraphs long but and then I would just journal every single day after that and slowly like looking back on those I start missing a few days of journaling and the entries get shorter and they stop I stop writing about him I start writing about myself and then I start writing about my friends and then you can see this full development through my writing of the three

months of when we were when I when we got broken up and it's really helpful especially now as an older adult although I know I can get through heartbreak it's a really nice um reminder that like in those moments when it does feel impossible things will get better I promise you like I am a testimony every other person who has been in love can testify heartbreak sucks but you'll be better you'll grow you'll move on things will be okay I love you focus on yourself treat yourself well that is all that matters growing up like I said I never really had a valentine's like I never really i don't know i never dated anybody in high school so my parents always got me a valentine and i think that was that's like so sweet that's like the sweetest thing they would always get me a

valentine my dad would get me something and a card and i would always wake up and come downstairs to have breakfast like make myself a little cereal or something and always be sitting on the kitchen table and it's little things like that that make me want to cry because it is so fucking sweet um because other than that like i didn't celebrate valentine's day really i didn't have anybody to celebrate it with other than like friends and family um and i didn't really have any boyfriends growing up so having my family show me like we love you here's a valentine really helped me um kind of have a good concept of valentine's day and be excited for it whether or not i was in a relationship or not because they taught me that valentine's growing up is about showing people you

love them it's about showing the people that you're around you love them and that you're there for them um it's not about relationships and couples well it's about relationships but it's not about it's not always about couples it's just about who you love and showing that to them um i have had some interesting valentine's days um that's safe to say i had oh i don't know i've never had a fantastic valentine's day experience like tbh um like i never really oh i have i have had a fantastic valentine's day experience it was not with a man though which i think says a lot um this valentine's day like i feel like planning and men with planning it stresses them out and they don't know what to do and i love planning

so this valentine's day i'm taking over like i don't really mind like i love planning things love coming up with ideas i don't mind planning i'm just gonna tell my boyfriend to dress up and get real hot and put on a suit and we're going you know what i mean um because last valentine's days i have been disappointed by other men i've been dating because they just don't put in that much thought and or effort and sometimes they do um i dated like a narcissistic gaslighting man and he we went to valentine's day we went to like a dinner and then he got a hotel and he got me a little pipe and weed for valentine's day or something and i don't remember what the fight was over i just remember him not wanting me to smoke and then that night

we ended up like not even hooking up not even talking to each other we slept in the same bed together and i remember crying all of valentine's day because he wouldn't talk to me he wouldn't talk to me he just got in bed and turned over and his back was to me the entire night and i would ask him like hey can you face me can you um can we talk and it was always silence thinking about that i feel so bad for younger hannah because she did not deserve that she should have got her ass up packed her shit and walked right out of there um so hopefully um yeah just don't date um narcissistic gaslighting men and you probably will have a good valentine's day um but hopefully i can avoid all of that because i'm planning

everything this year and i have a wonderful boyfriend um but the best best valentine's day experience i have ever had hands down is from high school um in high school like senior year maybe junior year me and all my girlies or me and a few girlies found out that hooters at hooters if you bring a picture of your ex and you shred it in front of everybody they will give you like 12 free wings or something so we were all like hell yeah we're going to hooters later like let's go here's the thing in high school i didn't have an ex like i had literally never dated anybody um i literally found the most basic white boy you could find a picture of online printed it out during art class and then that night we took our shit to hooters and yeah

shredded these pictures in front of everybody and got free wings and we would just like eat some wings and then go out to the car and smoke a bunch and then come back in and eat some more wings and i specifically remember being so goddamn high that i dropped my wallet outside and i was freaking out because it was time to pay and i was like where's my wallet oh my god i don't know where my wallet is and i had dropped it just in the middle of the outside somewhere um after smoking but 10 out of 10 that was the best valentine's day experience a i was with my friends who i love so much b it's just fun to be at hooters and eat wings like why not of course we're gonna tip her well and c i was belligerently high belligerently high like there's a no better valentine's day

combination tbh um so yeah that had that is like the best valentine's day i've had and i think hooters still does this like i am not joking i am pretty sure hooters still does this valentine's deal so go give your girls some love go go tip them well they probably don't want to be working on valentine's day pretty sure i'm going to be working on valentine's day and do not want to be so yeah i don't know i'm hoping this one's good i'm gonna make it good so like of course it'll be good you know what i mean i've just learned relying on other people to make you happy is a dangerous game so rely on yourself do things for yourself show yourself you love them or yeah you love them you love yourself plan something for yourself treat yourself i don't know

i just love self-love and i love showing it to myself and my friends but if you don't have plans hooters is always available and you're gonna shred a picture of your ex if i had a real ex during that time i would have ate that shit up even more i would have been like hell yeah i gonna shred this man love that um but no i didn't have an ex so random or random google man i'm sorry but you were very helpful free wings was a win someone asked me how much money i spend on weed a month zero dollars and zero cents if you're pretty you smoke for free i'm not even joking bitches i don't spend anything i don't spend anything like let's take that in i have it good my boyfriend is so goddamn sweet to me i do need to throw in money because weed is expensive and

i have thrown in money before um but i mean what me and my boyfriend have had worked out since i've known him is like when i first got to know him he would just send me home with trays of edibles and just be like here if you can flip these cool but if not like just eat them have them he'd send me home with goodie bags he'd be like come over let's smoke like why would i be paying for that like no offense if you're pretty you smoke for free that's a joke that is a very large joke if you're not smoking for free that does not mean you're not pretty i have paid for a vast majority of weed in my life especially for me and my friends um so it just feels really good to not have to pay for a second um all of high school i pretty much bought the weed all of

college i always bought the weed and i was always buying like an ounce at a time um but now yeah i just got it good i just hey oh my god can i hit your pen is it a joint hey can i hit that what are they gonna do say no no everybody wants to smoke if i'm holding something in my hand i'm smoking it someone comes over and they seem cool and they're like hey can i hit that who am i to say no who am i to say no so of course like i'm gonna go ask people to smoke if they're holding anything but yeah i spend zero dollars and zero cents on my weed i really need to pitch in i know that shit's expensive tips on surviving the winter time um learning how to appreciate winter and the cold season slash sad which is seasonal affective disorder um i don't know if i have specifically

seasonal affective disorder um i do know that the lack of sunlight and the cold in the winter drives me batshit insane it is definitely not good for my mental health so what i do especially because we're about to get hit with a giant fucking winter storm in about t minus six hours um yesterday it was like 60 degrees out which was beautiful days where it is warm enough that i can get outside i bundle up i roll me a little joint and i go on a walk at least 15 to 30 minutes okay and I just walk around my neighborhood people are like oh I wish I could walk around my neighborhood like I wish I could you can what do you mean you wish they were like I wish I could walk around in a pretty place like this it's like I was walking down an alley like I was walking around my

neighborhood it's not that deep like it's all about what you see beauty in and I see beauty in everything and I try and see beauty in everything so packing yourself up taking you outside and going on a walk on the days that are nice enough for you to get outside I think that is very very important especially just getting sunlight in general anytime that you possibly can now there's not a whole lot of sunlight there's not a whole lot of that and I can't really get outside for long periods of time to achieve that so instead of like you can buy the sad lights which are like the seasonal effective lights um they're supposed to mimic sunlight but those bitches literally cost hundreds of dollars hundreds of dollars and so i did some research

and i was looking into why are they so expensive why are what's going on what makes you so special literally nothing the only reason those are so expensive is because they're marketed specifically towards mental health and they're upselling the shit out of them which is fucked up all you need all you need is this like specific type of led light that stimulates sunlight so i replaced all of the light bulbs in my room and living room with those and it's like a it's not like a harsh um white or yellow light that led lights usually are it's a really nice middle tone and it feels like exactly like sunlight okay so i replaced all of my light bulbs with those and also i bought like two ring lights i broke one but i bought a ring light because the led lights in those are

the same exact types in the um light bulb so ring lights great great tool um if you don't have sunlight buying those light bulbs i think they were like five dollars on amazon great tool if you don't have sunlight um when you're inside all the time don't spend your time in your bed it's really easy to sit in bed and do all of your things from your bed but I've learned the best way to stay indoors and keep it healthy is you are only in your bed for sex slash masturbation whatever you like and sleep that is it nothing else okay that is what your bed is for you need to make it a sacred space it cannot be your depression pit it cannot be your home you cannot sit in bed all day okay I got a couch for that if I want to sit somewhere I sit on my couch

okay it just is a really great way of retraining your brain to understand sleep cues so when you hit that bed that your brain knows you're either going to sleep or you're having sex and it keeps your cycles in routine when the cycles are a little off because you're not outside as much and because the sun is setting at different times um also in general that is a great tip for depression just stay out of your bed sit on a couch sit on the floor get a floor pillow i have floor pillows i love them um anything but your bed okay and i know that's super hard it does take some commitment but i found that had the best um impact on me specifically in college when i felt like i couldn't get anything done i couldn't cross anything off of my list is because i was sitting

in bed all day and i once i got myself out of bed it was so much easier to achieve those goals because i was already out and ready to go okay get out of bed get out of bed okay hot girl walks talked about that yesterday on my on my instagram story um yeah sad lights great those led lights great wonderful you can get on amazon in two days and then stay out of bed don't get in bed unless you are having sex or sleeping like those are kind of the three best things if you do those things you'll really be able to power through um very easily through this season because she is almost over we have like 50 more days until spring i was going on a walk yesterday and i saw stuff like sprouting through the ground and i was like oh my god thank god

but literally we're about to get hit with a winter storm um tonight i think it's supposed to get like six to twelve inches over the past two days um so super exciting i'm trying to plan a bikini photo shoot for the snow we'll see if i figure that out um but stay tuned that might be on my instagram at hannah marlene okay i get a lot of questions that are like how do you how are you not afraid to smoke in public like how do you just openly smoke in public and first of all i live in a legal state so period you can smoke like although no you can smoke really wherever you want um you'll realize that the more you act like it's okay and you're not doing anything weird or bad the better people are gonna be able to handle it i went to california this summer and i think

the biggest culture shock was me and my boyfriend were getting coffee one morning and it was like a walk-up window in santa monica so we were just sitting on benches outside and a bunch of other people were waiting on their coffee and food and this cop came up and sit down next to us a cop a police officer and that would scare me if i had weed on me but i knew we were in california and it was legal so my boyfriend he wanted to test the limits i think he wanted to see like just how far he could go and get away with it and so the cop sat right next to him and we were planning going to the beach and drinking our coffee so he just pulls out his papers pulls out his weed grinds it up puts it in the paper and starts rolling next to this cop and i did not say anything because i

i was like whatever i'm gonna let him get in trouble if he needs to but as somebody who's been terrified of police officers because of weed and weed related charges um that was the biggest culture shock because that police officer just like glanced over at my boyfriend and was like okay and just moved on with this business if you act like you're not doing anything wrong then you're no one's gonna care no one's gonna notice okay i walk around smoking joints 24 7 24 7 okay now you don't drive and smoke you don't do any of that shit but i'm just walking around on a little walk and smoking a joint who's gonna get you in trouble for that now if you live in an illegal state then like yeah be careful don't do that shit but in legal states like it's kind of a

weird culture shock but you really can't just walk around smoking joints who's gonna know it's a joint okay maybe from the smell but all of them just look like cigarettes everybody else is smoking cigarettes i walk around the park like even in my home state i was smoking in a joint walking around the park and walked right next to a police officer they have more shit going on like there are shootings happening in my neighborhood like they're not worried about some girl smoking a joint they're worried about people being murdered so still be careful still like if you live in a illegal state you need to be careful 24 7 but like as somebody who has been in legal states and lives in a legal state they stop caring about weed really once it becomes legal um quite honestly

because they I guess they have bigger things going on but yeah I just stopped worrying about it if I if I'm going into public I try to avoid smoking a joint and then walking right in because I don't want to like reek but yeah I've really had no issue with it anyways yeah you can really smoke anywhere um oh my god so valentine's day in college um i was with my girlies and we celebrated together i think the best way honestly to celebrate if you're single if you're in a situation if you're not sure what you guys are just spend it with your friends like moral of the story spend it with your friends you're gonna have so much fun if anything you can show up to their you're like sneaky link or whoever you can show up to their house like late

in the night but spend the majority of the day and the evening with your friends um something cute and fun for my weed girlies before i leave this podcast episode might be a little short but i'm gonna do a longer one on thursday because i have the day off um and i'm gonna try and blast through some questions but um the best best best thing and you can do this for every for like anybody um especially for my wee girlies you can make them an edible cake that's always a great idea um i made an edible cake um last year for my boyfriend and it was like a two-layer chocolate edible cake and we only got through like half of it and then my boyfriend's roommate he is like a chocolate fiend if there's chocolate anywhere like he's gonna eat it

and i didn't really tell him this was an edible cake i think he just saw a cake and he was like hell yeah anyways there was a giant slice missing from it in the morning and he said he had a rough night that night this poor guy i didn't tell him it was an edible cake and he literally took a giant slice and yeah i think he saw god that night anyways that's super fun you can find any edible recipe online i cannot give you that information over the um internet but um i one year so go to the store buy yourself a dozen roses okay save six for yourself you're gonna put six roses in a little jar for yourself or give them out to your girlies and then you're gonna take six and you're gonna rip the petals off okay you're gonna take your blunt wrap you have your

blunt wrap now i don't usually smoke blunts we know this i don't smoke blunts because they make you break out but occasionally they're super duper fun so you take your blunt wrap you stuff that with weed now you can sometimes make the blunt wraps out of the petals but i found with the fresh petals it's really hard to do so if you just want it pretty and smokable get yourself a blunt wrap stuff just roll up the blunt okay you're gonna take the rose petals you're gonna wrap them around the blunt okay they should naturally curl around throw that bitch in the oven for like five minutes at tops maybe 300 degrees so the petals can wilt to the um blunt wrap or you can take the individual petals throw them in the oven for a little bit get them nice

and heated so they're malleable flatten those out into the shape of a wrap and then you can roll with that but roll your girlies a rose petal blunt that shit tasted so good it was so fun it was so cute i was like i think about it all the time and what a better day to do it than valentine's day so that is another little idea for my girlies but yeah valentine's day treat yourself buy yourself something I've been getting a lot of questions for you guys which is why a majority of the topic was about today I'm just like you guys being overall stressed and you shouldn't be stressed this should just be like any other day the only goal is to show yourself more love than you would show on an average day okay it's not that deep you don't have it just

because you're alone or you don't have somebody or you recently lost somebody doesn't mean you don't need to celebrate you're important you're in special you deserve to feel loved and you should show yourself love so happy valentine's day also i think it's the aquarius new moon tonight which is very important it's 2 2 2022 tomorrow um but the aquarius new moon starts today and tomorrow um so please keep that in mind um let's see new moon and aquarius ooh i'm just trying to find information for you it's bringing a big positive change that'll make you feel relieved trust in this new start it's meant for you let things um let things be that you know just don't resonate anymore you are being shown all of the answers period it is a great time

to do manifestation it is a great time to do journaling taking advantage of this season of the air season actually i don't know if it's even an air season pretty sure it's a water season right know but it's feeling very airy and also the retrograde ends february 3rd so get those manifestations done babe get that journaling done focus on yourself treat yourself you deserve it you're gonna have a great week i love you all so much thank you for sending me questions um i get questions a lot even though i go over this a lot i get questions a lot and they're like where do i send dms where do i send questions always always always on my instagram at hannah marlene i post a um questionnaire usually either sunday or monday

and my dms are always open you can always feel free to just send a dm um if it's on your mind and you're probably gonna forget it my dms are always open but yeah at hannah marlene follow me there catch up with me there i gotta go get ready for my serving or not even serving my bartending shift very excited wish me luck have a wonderful day you guys i will see you thursday so if you have any other questions for the next two days send them asap and i can cover them thursday but love you have a great day