Smoke Sesh - your 20’s, body confidence & must have accessories

Episode Date: March 10, 2022

Happy Thursday! Todays episode we talk about navigating your 20’s and how to get through it, failing & trying, body confidence and festivals, daydreaming, intrusive thoughts, must have accessories and hannah’s favorite things, serving tips and how to, and much much more ! Hope you all have a incredible Thursday please feel free to send any question you have to Instagram @hannahmarlene and I’ll see you Tuesday !

Listen, everybody needs a fairy godmother, you know, someone to look out for them. Some people call me their internet big sister, others their fairy smoke mother. You can call me Hannah, the new host of Smoke Sash. So come hang out, let's light up and talk everything there is to life. Some good, the bad, the ugly, the embarrassing. I've got a story for it all. Hello everybody, good afternoon. I know I'm not saying good morning because I'm recording this at

1 36 in the afternoon i know very specific but oh my gosh i just it snowed again here and it snowed overnight and i mean they've been telling us that it was gonna snow and you know it's gonna get cold again and i really just i mean did not believe it i was like whatever i'm just so ready for spring that in my head like it was impossible for it to possibly even snow again and guess what I woke up to like four inches of snow and it was just blizzarding all morning and I was like slightly miserable but also like okay enjoying it because my boyfriend also took the day off um just to kind of like hang out so he doesn't have to get out in the snow and I was like cool I'll just hang out enjoy my morning there's nothing better than having like a slow relaxing

chill morning especially like if you have a significant other I think when you do have those moments to kind of like be together it's really important to be cognizant of each other's time and spend it wisely like when we're hanging out I try to rarely ever be on my phone um like when we go on vacations you'll notice I'll just like stop posting I'll disappear for a week and that's because I do actively enjoy just you know experiencing my life firsthand and not so much documenting it and just getting lost sometimes and I think we all should experience that sometimes but also there's things I love sharing with you and things that I love sharing afterwards um too but we just spent the morning hanging out and um I think we are both kind of feeling a little

restless a little over the winter like a little winter bluey i don't know we just had some great talks this morning and it was really eye-opening um we're both kind of i don't know i feel like your 20s is just such a transitional phase um you're spending like a majority of it and i'm not gonna lie just kind of discovering what you like and what you don't like like people always ask me how do I survive my 20s how do I get through it and I'm not gonna lie I felt like my teen years went by so fucking slow but I like the other day someone asked me my age and I wanted to be like oh I'm 21 but I am like 22 like the years are flying by and I'm realizing it's flying by because I mean when I was in my teens there was like some sort of end goal you know what I mean

you got to finish high school that's like something that just everybody does you know we all have like certain necessary life steps that we all take that we all feel accomplished from right but in your 20s there are technically no goals for you to achieve sure society says go to college go do these things go get a job i don't know whatever you're some people in some societies like go get married i couldn't imagine but like that sometimes you know there are those goals instilled in us but in reality like you learn very quickly as soon as you enter your 20s those goals are actually like for other people and in reality there are no goals there's like none and so you have to be the creator of what you want to achieve you have

to like actually start going for those dreams start going for those things that are important to you and so I think it's really easy for people to start to feel very lost because especially like I don't know I've done a very good job because I think I felt very very lost at a younger age like I kind of went through it and I went through it fucking hard very hard for a long time um that i was able to learn from it thank god uh and i'm kind of having a slightly easier time navigating my 20s because of it um because i'm realizing like although i took a non-traditional life path like sure i went to college that is like a normal goal for people to achieve in my family you gotta finish college you know what i mean and i just i have dropped out twice i quit

college twice and now it's not because i i didn't think i could achieve those goals or i thought they were impossible these are things that i was succeeding at and doing well at like i had a 4.0 at both of my schools which is insane because i was in nursing school which is so fucking hard as well as art school which is like like they're kind of i want to say prestigious but i feel like that's not the right word maybe a little elitist like it's very hard to get an a in art school and I worked my ass off for that shit but I realized that those goals didn't matter as much to me because they weren't my own and the things that I was drawn to were things that I were was dreaming of things that mattered to me things that I don't know maybe I never told anybody

about and so I it's like a constant battle of just like do I go for it or do I not and I feel like a lot of your 20s needs to be spent just going for it trying it if it feels right if in your gut genuinely you feel like you need to do something you need to go for it and try it out because it doesn't matter if you succeed or fail you will learn something in the process that you didn't know about yourself before and yeah it's scary and no it doesn't have to be big such as like dropping out of college to pursue i don't know a strange job sometimes it's just i'm gonna pick up this hobby that i've thought about for a long time but never really had the balls to try and i'm gonna see how it goes and if it goes great love that i love experiencing new things

you'll probably make new friends you'll probably learn more about yourself you'll probably have a better time in life and if you don't enjoy it that's fine too because now you get to move on to something else to try that you might possibly enjoy and also you've learned something about yourself in the process as well as you've put yourself on the line been open to something new and honestly genuinely tried it it doesn't matter if it succeeds or if it fails failure is a great process of learning about what you want to do and everybody is terrified to fail and i think that's like the one thing i'm sorry we're really just getting into a rant this morning i just we spent a couple hours talking about this stuff um and it really kind of inspired me because i've i've felt

like i've been in a waiting period for a long time but um in the school system well in the um in the american school system at least now in sports it's a little different i'll talk about in a second in the american school system you say you're in second grade second grade okay you go to school you have a spelling test you you know studied a little bit for it as much as a fucking second grader can because you should really just be outside playing enjoying your time you know maybe spend a few hour or an hour 30 minutes however much you can pay attention at night for a few days doing it you know you studied a little bit put some work in in class whatever you go to school you have a spelling test you take it you get an f you take that f home like you're probably

getting yelled at i know i did i don't know if your household was different but i feel like usually you know you're punished for back for you know bad grades in high school they literally gave us i've talked about making fake ids this way but they gave us ids for different colors and if you had bad grades you had less like um you had more restrictions i guess and then um the better grades you had the less restrictions you had the more you could go do and i was like that's fucked up we're taught from like this young young age that um you know failing is a bad thing but in reality we need to be taught to try things and to be okay sorry of the hiccups i'm drinking dr pepper i'm drinking dr pepper i needed some sort of sustenance to get me through this um also i've

caught mouth like a bitch but we're taught that like if failing is well you know failing and it's bad and you shouldn't do it and if you do something you need to succeed at it and you probably need to succeed long term which i think is very unhealthy and i think it gets people stuck in cycles and like pits of things they genuinely don't enjoy doing now like in sports i think sports was kind of great although they did usually yell at you i mean when you were younger you know they give both teams a medal they give both teams a trophy each team gets an after game snack you know what i mean you lose the pressure's on you obviously it's a little different high school you're getting yelled at probably but i just think we need to be encouraging children and

people in general especially people in their 20s who have never failed before to be willing to you know try new things and then especially like with the whole winter time like oh my god I can't believe it snowed again like I was so ready for summer literally the Tuesday's podcast we talked about some hot girl summer tips and just like enjoying your summer and genuinely enjoying your time and i mean i i live in a place where six months out of the year it is freezing cold and most of the time there's snow on the ground which i think like i know for a fact my mental health would be so better if i lived like in a place where it's warm all the time but i do think that period of time at least half a year where we're forced to kind of you know hunker down

think about things think about what we're doing with our time really think about what we're going for and like take a pause take a moment to just prioritize what we need to and dream a little bit and have these big goals and be a little uncomfortable with where we are i feel like the uncomfortability has been throwing me off a little bit um just the fact that i feel like you know I need to grow there's more I need to be doing and I'm not and sometimes like it's overwhelming like I have these giant giant goals and I'm sure you probably feel this way about certain things as well but you know you have these big dreams and these big goals and you're not there yet but a big part of it is just being patient and enjoying the time you have before you get there

as well as that uncomfortability that need to do more that unsettledness that restlessness that like hunger you know I felt that way when I was a nanny because I I knew it was like a job great love money but I felt specifically unfulfilled because I knew it wasn't what I wanted to do for the rest of my life right it was a filler and I felt like that was a waste of time and I not currently it passed me I felt at the time like I was so restless so hungry for more like I felt like I was wasting my time and just I don't know like worried about what I was doing and kind of overthinking a little bit and now that I got past that and I miss my job a little bit and really cherish that time I understand that like I really hated feeling that way and I thought I was a bad

person for feeling that way but in reality it just shows not a bad person but I thought you know like I shouldn't be feeling that way I shouldn't be restless I shouldn't hate my job but in reality it's okay to be or feel that way feel unfulfilled feel restless because it shows that you want you have the drive and the power to do more. Simply wanting more for yourself shows that in the future you will probably make those steps. It's when people are like I hate everything. I hate where my life is going and I'm not going to do anything about it. This is just the way I am. I hate life blah blah blah. That's bad because if they accept that and they accept that for who they are and you accept that for yourself you're gonna get stuck in that cycle and you're gonna get

stuck in this miserable cycle of just hating where you are while simultaneously not doing anything to get yourself out of it so simply having the urge and the drive and the need to have more for yourself shows that you're hungry for it and shows that you will probably make those steps it simply just takes taking one step taking that one move towards feeling better and then once you do that one thing it's it's like an avalanche you will want to do a hundred more but also i'm kind of in a mandatory waiting period with this winter time it's good to self-evaluate it's good to kind of look yourself in the mirror and be like who do i want to be in the summer who do i want to be in the spring me and my boyfriend were talking about this we both when we met in

the spring so we were like we're we met springtime versions of ourself we were so like excited and giddy about the world and just like overwhelmed with opportunity and happiness and i feel like we all change throughout the seasons and i continuously find that version of myself in the spring so i'm excited to get there again but for now i just i'm gonna take it one step at a time and not try and rush things and be patient you know enjoy the snow a little bit while we still have it before it's 80 fucking degrees 90 degrees and humid and we're just sweating all the time you know sometimes you do have to take a breather understand it'll all work out especially in your 20s you just have to try and that's about it who cares if you fail who cares if you succeed

all you gotta do is every day get up and try oh my god anyways i don't know if that rant was for you or me a little bit of both i hope any of you guys resonated hope it's not random i'm literally so high i smoked like three bowls before i started recording this and i was like well we're just gonna ramble and get into it i've been trying to avoid spending money today so i've been trying gonna stay off my phone um if you didn't know petra collins which is so funny she um occasionally releases um like clothes like a clothing collection and her last i'm sorry collection was incredible but specifically i wanted this like matching blue tube top mini skirt and then on the back of the skirt it says i want to fight in glitter it's so cute i have like been wanting that for years and

been trying to find it um i actually just got my nails done to kind of match it i was like manifest but she just released another collection for um through the same i'm sorry kind of title and it's so good it's so good she has like these manifest earrings and like these um uh liar earrings that are so cute she's a couple tube top miniskirt sets as well i thought they was okay some really cute tank tops and a wildflower um phone case collab so i might snatch the wildflower phone case and maybe some jewelry we'll see but the mark jacobs heaven collection dropped a month ago and i like looked at that i went to the heaven store when i was in la and it was just it was okay like it sucks because nothing like grabs me like nothing

goes the extra mile except for the shoes the shoes go the extra mile for me but not at that fucking price point unfortunately but i went there and it was just like god nothing grabbed my fucking attention and then they did this drop and i was like again like nothing caught my attention unfortunately and this petra collins set um drop blew me out of the water like i don't know if maybe it's just more my style maybe i'm just a hater i'm not sure either way go check it out i'm but i don't need to spend money but i do but i want to who knows maybe i'll treat myself a little bit today i'm gonna go see batman later tonight i'm so excited i think we're gonna go um i was gonna get a little caesar pizza and sneak it into the movie theater so we could eat it there

but i think we might get some chipotle instead and go watch batman and have a good snow day you know what i mean i also have like half of your questions we need to get through so i'm gonna reload my bong and we're gonna take a little hit and we're gonna blast through some questions on this wonderful thursday let's get into it okay let me get this bowl loaded somebody asked me um how to deal with like um uncontrolled like thoughts or like overthinking slash maladaptive daydreaming like too much thinking stuck in my head 24 7 kind of vibes and now here's like the best way i can honestly recommend kind of escaping that a i work a lot i'm not gonna lie i work a lot when i have downtime and i'm like i genuinely am not going to do anything productive with this

downtime right now i go to work like i'm like can i pick up a shift can i make some money because if I'm going to spend my time overthinking and being miserable I'd rather just you know maybe go overexert myself and make $400 instead so that's like kind of number one but also I understand overexertion maybe don't do that to yourself I have a lot of energy so I like working a lot my dad goes to the gym a lot I think that helps him and then also a plus you know when your parents would be like go for a run go for a walk when you're depressed um and you'd be like fuck you mom i don't want to go work out right now how dare you not take me seriously that's actually really like genuinely good advice i used to be like ignoring because i ignored everybody who

tried to give me advice um i listen i'm gonna be real here but then i realized no like genuinely like scientifically it will make you feel better even if you go for like a light five minute jog or even a walk walking is just incredible for you just getting your body up and moving it releases serotonin especially the more you do it and kind of the more you exert yourself you're just gonna naturally release a lot of serotonin so that is a great way and then last of all best way especially if you maybe can't leave the house don't have means of transportation don't have job don't want to go to the gym or can't physically um reading like instead of getting stuck in your own head get stuck in someone else's find a good book and you i guarantee you will find the right book for

you go inside a barnes and noble is that the right store yeah go inside just stay there for three hours pick up every book you find the first book that you get through like three chapters and cannot it down go purchase it go home and go keep reading okay and then find more like it um because listen you're not gonna get anything achieved just sitting and overthinking and daydreaming about situations in your head so you might as well just go get stuck in somebody else's and maybe learn a little bit or have some fun on the way you know what i mean i think reading is such a great tool it's gonna make your memory better and make you smarter it's gonna make you more creative i miss reading as much as i used to it made me like so driven and so passionate and so

like oh hungry for learning more about the world so i think that's a great way okay tips for seeing myself more sexually confident in bed and then in quotations they said long term bf and love that because um okay i don't know where tiktok i want to say it's okay and she keeps popping up my for you page but i love her because she's very sex positive and she's a um porn star and i think it's like i don't anal princess can i say these words on this podcast yeah something like that but you know the letters are different because tiktok would ban that immediately if that was a real account name um someone let me know please tell me you know who I'm talking about love her I think she's incredible and she talked a little bit about this and she was like because someone

called her hypersexual and she was like I don't think I'm hypersexual I think I just enjoy having sex but a lot of it is in like um long-term relationships so it's like I'm not hypersexual because it doesn't take over a majority of my thought process and my time I'm just doing something i love with a person i love and i was like that's beautiful and i think she was onto something there because the reason i think i am so comfortable in myself and my sexuality and like just in general sex is because the majority of sex that i have had has been in or while i was in a long-term relationship and those were all people who you know made me feel good about myself and made um sex a safe space for me and i think there's a no better way than to

explore than in a long-term relationship you know what i mean you guys are so comfortable with yourself you're so in love you're so open to expressing it i think you shouldn't feel hindered in any way especially if that person truly loves you um then you should just you know what do whatever feels good and have open and honest conversations with your partner you know what i mean but i think there is no better time to explore sex and things you like and try new things than in a long-term relationship where things are good and healthy and safe um especially like if you're like things are getting a little um boring that's totally fine switch it up a little bit try something out open those conversations where you guys can talk about new things maybe go to a sex

store together you know what i mean um i don't know but i don't think there's any reason for you to not feel comfortable and confident with yourself especially in a long-term relationship that person genuinely truly loves you but i do understand having body image issues you know there are some days where like i have broken down and been like i just can't have sex today i don't want to think about my body and I think being open and honest with your partner about those things as well is very important and having them not take it personally having them just be like cool I'm going to give you that space to feel the way you need to feel you know no one should be taking things personally obviously it's just something that's going on with yourself um but yeah and if

there's things that maybe like trigger you like sometimes touching me in certain ways I'm like I do not like that which is something I have communicated very early on within my relationship whether it's like something that makes me feel I don't know for some reason bad about myself or some other reason any sort of trigger I always just try and be cognizant of protecting myself and then also be cognizant of telling my partner about it as well so we can prevent it does that makes sense you know i just think so fun to have those conversations i love sex and i think i have a very healthy um mindset about it because yeah it's been mostly in long-term relationships so consider yourself lucky go have fun girl go experiment and make sure your boyfriend's making

it safe for you as well well boyfriend girlfriend whoever make sure they're making a safe space for you as well um and vice versa i think that's very important oh my gosh someone told me to try the jerusalem cafe and casey their falafel veggies so good yes i agree very yummy but also my heart belongs to habashi house i'm sorry like i'm so sorry nothing beats it really genuinely they are the nicest sweetest kindest people i have gone there for my entire life their hummus is always like to die for fresh they throw all the olive oil oh my god they got an incredible curry chicken gyro which is great and also i have not had falafel this good i'm so sorry Jerusalem Cafe great but the falafel at Hibashi House insane like like crunchy soft so great

incredible customer service I remember I ordered like a falafel platter with hummus they throw so much fucking hummus on there like it is a stacked plate and I got it and I was demolishing it having a great time no worries and they came up to me and they gave me extra because they were like i think one of those was just a little extra burn and i was like oh i killed it like don't worry and they're like we'll have this extra one i was like so sweet like so thoughtful i'm obsessed with them they need to like never go out of business so i will always fucking like tell everybody about them but yeah favorite restaurant in kansas city like hands down um okay somebody asked me which i think is a very valid question how to step into my authentic self or confident self without getting

embarrassed i need help and here's the thing you are gonna get embarrassed and i have to put that out there because i think people like do all these things that you know make them feel good and then they feel embarrassed for it in some sort of way and so they immediately like start backpedaling and then stop becoming as confident and authentic when it and then feel bad for having that feeling of being embarrassed you know but in reality i think being embarrassed is a very normal human feeling but you have to discern it from the feeling of like true like embarrassment like oh i fucked up kind of thing like genuinely and then embarrassment that's rooted in like societal norms and just breaking those does that make sense because one is like logical and rare

very important and the other is just like not a good feeling and usually um what am i trying to think of it's usually just like a um what oh my god i'm having the worst mind blank of my life right now it's more so just an intrusive thought um i genuinely believe that it's okay to get embarrassed it's just having the willpower and the like self-understanding and awareness which takes practice i need to also elaborate on that um of just telling yourself you know what i need just like quieting that voice like no reinforcing with facts of how you feel about yourself you know i love the way i look right now truly genuinely how i want to be dressed um how i want to present myself how i want to behave how i want to blah blah blah whatever the situation is um reinforce

it with how you genuinely feel and then it helps that like intrusive feeling go away and you know the real ones kind of feel more powerful and they kind of arise more does that make sense um but i think it's very genuinely normal and it's just a process of trying something new i would like go to art school and i would bring in a piece of art that is like not my style i am trying something new i'm a little embarrassed because it's different maybe not perfect and then people love it people have great like reception to it and also if they don't have a good reception to it you just need to also understand that you know you're you need more so focus on how you feel about yourself and not going about your life based on how others feel you know oh my god i'm so high

let's finish this bowl i'm using this adorable little piece from canna style i need to post a video of me smoking out of it because it's actually so fucking cute it gives me tangled vibes and it glows in the dark so when i have like no lights on in my fucking room at night because my brain fucking hurts i can still see my bong which is all that really matters oh my god someone said can we please talk about pink whitney trauma that shit made me sober for a whole year i never went through the pink whitney um like fucking trauma i was out of college at that point i had already dropped out um so no one around me is drinking

pink whitney because i feel like on the college kids were it was just so sweet i remember taking a sip of it and i was like i would shit my pants the entire next morning if i had to fucking you know and i'd be so hung over because the sugar holy shit sugar makes you just like high sugary drinks especially alcoholic drinks will make you so hung over and also i would not i could not imagine throwing that up oh my god so i just avoided pink whitney at all costs but you know what i do have trauma from i have trauma from jameson jameson because when i was a server we on closing nights which would have been my junior year of fucking college you know what i mean oh no yeah it would have been my junior year of college i was a server and i literally

every night we would close which i had nothing else to do at this point so i was working six nights a week basically every night that i would close the bartender would be like do a shot do a shot and you know it's bartender's choice so we would take shots of jameson and that is an old man drink and he was an old man he was like well he wasn't old but he was like a 45 year old bartender like experienced been doing this for years so that was his drink of choice and now i would we like i'd be five shots in and i'd be like i gotta go home blacked out i taco bell gotta get home you know what i mean pass out and then just be so hung over the next morning that was brutal and also the chaser he would give me which he was not wrong about but it's unfortunate that this is

the chaser is water like after you drink any dark liquor if you chase it with water it makes it go down way smoother does that make sense instead of trying to mask the taste and coming up with a horrible combination of flavors in your mouth just drink water and it really pushes away the harshness and you just get the flavor of the alcohol it's so confusing but quite honestly it's the best way to drink like i can't lie but yeah that's where my trauma is from if people are like let's take shots of chavis and i'm like no no no no no even shots in general i have done too many in my life too many i remember at this new year's eve party that we were throwing i was taking shots of everclear like i've done shots of

and that's like grain alcohol like horrible yeah anyways that's yeah trauma oh someone asked what are some must-have accessories okay i think this is a great question i think a good handbag is always great um something i'm kind of inspired by recently is jane birkin and look at specifically how the way she used her birkin bags birkin bags right now are worth a fucking house like i am not fucking lying those bitches are expensive and people keep them in glass cases because of it but if you look at the way jane birkin which designed this fucking bag for herself well i don't know if that's history somewhat don't come for me i should probably learn more i want to do more research once again i'm inspired but she would just use

it as like the same way you destroy and use a tote bag you know what i mean like throw charms on it put some paint on it draw on a little little make it a home for your items you know inspired by that so like i have so many things in my bag that i just love having with me on a daily basis like tarot cards i have a journal like a line journal and a journal for drawing i always have colored pens on me i always have like lipstick chapstick like just random shit i think a good handbag is great um also just fun sunglasses it's something i've loved to collect especially like since my rave days it was so fun to have like a great pair of sunglasses like at a rave because everybody's like let me put them on or they like stare at you and they're like whoa you know what i mean

so like a good pair of sunglasses really elevates an outfit um i love collecting sunglasses from the thrift store i'm not gonna lie i just got a pair of roberto cavalli sunglasses like you can find some high-end ones and they just like don't know the difference and it's great um um also like i always have rings on me 24 7 but that's the thing i think rings and jewelry are more like collector's pieces i rarely ever wear like decorative jewelry does that make sense um like i was talking about the petra collins drop like that jewelry is more decorative because it's occasional the jewelry i wear every day is like a collector's so you know what i mean so like that kind of jewelry I'll drop good money on and I make sure it's a good like um price point

I think um Etsy's great eBay is great um estate sales I got most of my rings handed down to me um but anything like that I just think having good everyday jewelry really elevates just in general a look um and I like to have jewelry that kind of expresses who I am like if I put on a piece of jewelry and it doesn't fit it I it finds its way to make its way off my body I am not gonna lie like it breaks it does something I don't understand why but also I've been getting my nails done a ton recently I am obsessed at this point um I think a great set really elevates an outfit as well and I kind of spend the month that I have my nails done kind of making looks around my nails I've noticed like my my outfits this um past what was it February oh my god it's March

crazy this past February like all of them kind of revolved around my pink french tips with the rhinestones now I have these beautiful like oh my god she did such a great job and I really only got a fill i was so impressed but um she did french tips blue french tips dark blue outline and then i was like i don't know if i'm crazy but i kind of wanted to go for like a porn star vibe i don't know inspired not really i don't do that but um i just i was like i want black stars i don't know if that makes sense and i was like do you see the vision and she kind of looked at me like i was crazy but then she's like she nodded she put it on and i was like yep we both were like yeah that looks incredible they did a great job and literally it's like fucking 45 minutes

away from my house but i am willing to drive there because every single time the nails are just incredible oh they're called um i need a le rev nails i think it is it's like over by savers um but obsessed i always have a few anklets that i usually collect over the summer um and then recently a good pair of shoes i've been loving a good pair of shoes i just got these red um snake skin boots it's a pointed toe slight heel obsessed i have been using and abusing those but yeah great shoe very important probably gonna buy some new like i've been loving a black adidas I think that's cute with a black sole um I would say just like platform converse and like any platform shoe is always just a good everyday shoe it's just a good basic shoe more so for an

outfit but I like getting crazy with shoes get a little uncomfortable with the colors you know what I mean I'm probably gonna get some white leather boots soon something like that but yeah that's really all i can think of i guess also the most important accessory would be like tattoos you know what i mean i think that's the most like important because it's the most permanent and i love people's tattoos i love like seeing the positions they put them in and like what they get i think it's so telling and just so funny like i love silly tattoos i love in like symbolic tattoos i love it all and i have a few i'll probably get more there's just nothing that i've really been itching for yet i've more so been itching for clothes i can't lie so that's

what i've been going for um but i'm i know i'll get more in the future i know i'm not done yet you know what i mean okay i think this is a very good question and i think we should touch on it um okay they said hey hannah in two months i'm going to be going to a festival with my friends with that being said i'm a plus-sized woman and i'm going with mostly my guy friends and a couple of very skinny girlfriends i'm very nervous to be out in the sun with so much skin showing because i'm mostly covered up because of my own insecurities this is really stopping me from being excited about it and instead is really just making me more nervous and less eager to go how do i stop worrying about my body and the way i look please give some tips and tricks if possible love you

in the pod so much love you first of all i understand being nervous i understand getting nervous just being in any public situation at all because there's so many different people and as an overthinker i that freaks me out so much because there's so many different possibilities of what people could be thinking do you know what i mean so when it comes to festivals in specifics i think festivals are very much so a safe space for all body types and now i have only been to festivals that are kind of like you know plur based i have to say you know like peace love unity respect everybody's hanging everybody's vibing and i have very much so loved those and haven't ventured outside of those because i love the respect and the understanding that everybody

gets do you know what i mean everybody is supported everybody is also half naked everybody is there just feeling themselves and that is the goal you know what i mean you want to be there feeling yourself as well as you want other people to be feeling themselves as well and that in turn creates a great environment now I'm not saying you know random bad things don't happen of course everything has their downfalls but overall my experiences at festivals have been good so if you're going to one that is like that which hopefully you are they're a great time you'll love it even if it's like what Coachella Okeechobee just happened was great like anything like that Coachella might be a little different but I think overall the vibes are very much so like

uplifting so I think you should have that to look forward to as well as if you are somebody who has some body confidence issues I think it's very important to have an outfit that you feel good in and comfortable in do you know what I mean when I don't dress for myself when I'm wearing something that's maybe like you know more of a trendier piece not super authentic to myself or even just simply uncomfortable like too tight doesn't fit how I like it but I'll wear it whatever I automatically do not feel good about myself because my body is not comfortable so spend the time before you know finding an outfit that a makes you feel good in the way you are expressing yourself and um like exploring your body and be um make sure that it's comfortable and you know

you're going to a festival i have gone to festivals in extravagant crazy outfits okay and i'm never comfortable and i have a horrible time because of it so i started just going like very simple you know like maybe a crop top throw on some boy shorts easy peasy comfy shoes to lost the crazy buckle platforms just went for the normal easier walking platforms you know um even just regular tennis shoes whatever you want go barefoot if it makes you happy you know what i mean but genuinely especially at festivals i think you're in a safe space and like you said if okay the people you're going with it didn't seem like you had any qualms with them but make sure they are supportive of you too and will have your back and are gonna be you know complimenting

you telling you how great you look like i'm sure you do the same thing for your friends when i see my friend looking good i tell her make sure you have that support inwardly as much as you do outwardly and in the group you're going with you know what i mean make sure your situation is comfortable so you're as comfortable as you can be but i love you you are beautiful also there are are some concerts i avoid because of that i am not gonna play some people are assholes some people mean some people oh my god my fucking my mouth is so dry i need to fucking sit some people are mean some people are judgy i'm not gonna lie i literally spend most of my time on the internet i know that more than anybody else so like tyler the creator came to concert

he came to perform or whatever and i was like nah nah like unfortunately also i didn't want to spend the money tbh i'm not gonna lie it was maybe smaller arena but you know he came and i knew like okay maybe that crowd isn't gonna be the best to be in so i'm gonna avoid that a little bit and i think people not comparing the two i gotta also preface not comparing the two people did learn that in astral world too like the audience makes a huge difference although the audience was not the main cause of that it did have something to do that people were just shoving and shoving and shoving each other and just had no care so just understand your surroundings make sure you're in a safe space i think more so than ever after that concert we need to be aware of

that as well um not to put the stress out there i'm just rambling i cannot lie i don't think you should be stressed at all go have a fun time get a good outfit go live your best summer life okay i'm sure it's going to be happening like spring summer we're all going to be living our best lives we're also when it comes to body confidence especially in large crowds where i'm like overly aware of myself i'll just take a little shot i just okay if you're sober galley love you too but if you just take a little shot feel yourself a little bit maybe take a little puff of weed eat a little gummy whatever feels good to you you know what i mean if you need that liquid courage go for it i'm smoke joints all the time not that i'm using it for courage but there's no better place

to you know drink a little bit have fun relax chill then at a festival or even in public but yeah i need to answer a few more questions and then i need to go because i gotta go see batman oh i'm so excited i cannot wait okay we're gonna do a few long questions from um my dms but somebody asked me hi i love your podcast what are your top tips for serving i'm starting soon at a country club that my friends work at but i'm a little nervous well very exciting i think there's serving is very easy and doesn't need to be as stressful as people think and i think you can make a lot of money um at country clubs i'm not sure if they tip split my friend worked at a country club too and they tip split if you tip share i'm not gonna

lie you don't have to work as hard like you're all working you're doing a great job great customer service five stars you know what i mean but that over and extra and over the top i mean if you have to tip share oh my god i just couldn't imagine but i'm also insane and i've never done it i'm sure you guys make buku bucks at a fucking country club i cannot lie but you know you got it a little easier just smile throw a little giggle there here and there you know what i mean say a little joke it's always great to get like one personal like little conversation in there every server has their like um and you'll figure yours out everybody's different but they have like a like a monologue kind of you know you have your introduction hi my name's hannah welcome to blank

can i start you guys off with something to drink while you're looking um the menu over you know got any questions about any appetizers anything to get started for entrees you have any room for dessert like those you know normal things people ask um people when eating but also like throw something get a little human in there well what are you guys doing today do you have any plans for the rest of the day um if there's something going on oh stay warm it's snowing whatever you know read the situation some people genuinely don't want to be talked to and you will pick up those vibes asap they they won't even look at you like i cannot even lie and don't take it personally just move on um but then a lot of people like to be talked to you know they like

to be sold and if you sell it they'll buy it i am not gonna lie especially at a country club they got the money to buy it um so talk about it bring things up if you've got a deal bring it up if you got um alcohol specials bring it up always sell a bottle over a glass of wine um because they can get about five glasses for the price of a bottle where you can get like eight or nine glasses and then you can always take the bottle home with you at least at my restaurant that's how we do it you can leave with the bottle so for like if i see a wine mom come in which you know who they are it's like the short blonde bobs you know they're getting into it um sell them a bottle share a bottle tell them they can take it home i sell a lot of sake that way too at my restaurant i can't

lie i'm always like well i'll leave the cap here for you guys to bottle it and take it home with you and people love that shit always sell an appetizer always try and sell an entree to each person and if you can try and push a dessert that's really all i can say it's all about salesmanship and also don't i mean like salesmanship but also like not slaving away obviously be a person read the situation if somebody just wants to come in there and buy one thing do it and still give them good service you know what i mean um but yeah i don't know i think you'll have a great time it's really easy it's really busy you're probably um gonna get a little pissed off at your co-workers because listen things get busy it's it gets crazy

things get like misunderstood you guys say things out of context you also get a little snappy because it's rush don't take it personally if you say something rude go and apologize make sure you're getting apologized to also but genuinely just like don't take it personally it's usually not a huge deal everybody like loses their cool every once in a while but just laugh it off if you can I try and like I take work seriously like I'm a great worker obviously but also I don't take work seriously in a sense and you know it makes my job a lot oh my god dropping my phone it makes my job a lot easier and I also think I make more money I think people appreciate that I'm just like understanding and human and i actually talk to them and interact with the customers you know

what i mean it pays off um but yeah you'll make buku bucks i can't lie okay somebody asked me you're on death row what is your last meal okay very valid question okay i'm gonna have to say just to like heal my inner child probably well can you like order a bunch of things yeah we'll go with that okay so i would order like an order of fettuccine alfredo from fazoli's but specifically just the fettuccine alfredo just like one to go order a fettuccine alfredo like two breadsticks on the side no chicken no whatever just that just to like heal my inner child and then like um to heal my inner teen probably um a spicy chicken sandwich i don't care where from preferably i guess chick-fil-a because they kind of pop off i'm not gonna lie but a spicy

chicken sandwich with ranch on the side and then um a cherry coke and oh my god and then probably like a fat ass nice steak like cooked well with some um oh chimichurri is that what it is the um argentinian um like pesto almost i'm so butchering it but um you know what i'm talking about that with some like a fat steak i don't even like meat but i think if i was about to die i'd be like yeah let me just eat this i'm insane anyways that's probably what my last meal would be very strange oh and some sour twin snakes yeah those are so good not the sour ones just the twin snakes it's like one sweet one sour from 7-eleven best thing best thing in this world i am not and then a bowl of cereal me just keeps going a bowl of cereal preferably

frosted flakes with two percent milk and sliced strawberries amen now you can put me out of my misery all right let's smoke this bowl and then i gotta go enjoy the rest of my day and also get this podcast out to you so if you're also stuck inside like me maybe you got a little something to do someone to hang out with you while you're enjoying your day but um thank you for joining me um thank you for being here if you have any question literally ever always submit it to my instagram at hannah marlene um you can either send it through a dm or um i always put up like a questionnaire on sundays or mondays so you can submit it there always um just watch my instagram stories for that but yeah thank you for being here thank you for bringing you thank you

for being vulnerable and submitting your questions with me i had a fantastic time literally two hours flew by so exciting um but cheers let's smoke this bowl love you all see you tuesday