Smosh Mouth - #89 - Solving More Of Smosh's Problems

Episode Date: April 14, 2025

More clients, more problems, and Amanda and Shayne are here to solve 'em. 0:00 Intro 3:35 My bladder is too small 10:18 I’m in a group chat for a job I haven’t had in a year and it’s too late to leave 16:45 My cat keeps leaving random dingleberries in the house 22:47 How do I get adults to eat their vegetables? 29:12 How do I fix my sleep schedule? 35:19 I have a weird voice 42:23 I don't use the crying bathroom anymore 48:55 I queened out too hard and scared a straight couple 56:07 How do I compromise my space when living with my partner? 1:02:11 How do I be the fun uncle? 1:08:33 My parents have complaints about my wedding 1:13:38 Can you call the funeral home to see if we can find my dad? PODCAST: https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthSpotify https://smo.sh/SmoshMouthiHeart https://bit.ly/SmoshMouthApple  SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com  WHO YOU HEAR Courtney Miller // https://www.instagram.com/co_mill/ Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Noah Grossman // https://www.instagram.com/noahgrossman214/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Tommy Bowe // https://www.instagram.com/tomeybones/ Arasha Lalani // https://www.instagram.com/arashalalani_/ Sara Faltersack // https://www.instagram.com/becomingsararose/ Caroline Smith // https://www.instagram.com/carolinesmithed/ Kortney Luby // https://www.instagram.com/upsetawookiee/ Nicole Blacklock // https://www.instagram.com/nicole.normal/ Selina Garcia // https://www.instagram.com/maraselina/ Kim Wilborn // https://www.instagram.com/kimmerinotv/ Gareth Hird // https://www.instagram.com/iamgarethhird/ Matt Duran // https://www.instagram.com/durrrrran/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Selina Garcia Editor: Andre Gardere Producer: Amanda Lehan-Canto, Shayne Topp, Selina Garcia Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Stage Manager: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Art Coordinator: Abby Schmidt Wardrobe Assistant: Elizabeth Park Prop Assistant: Bridgette Baron Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Assistant Director: Jonathan Hyon Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Senior Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Manager: Jonathan Hyon Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker IT & Equipment Coordinator: Lopati Ho Chee Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Graphic Designers: Ness Cardano, Monica Ravitch Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Brand Partnership Manager: Chloe Mays Operations Manager: Selina Garcia Talent Coordinator: Danielle Moses People Operations Specialist: Katie Fink Front Office Assistant: Sara Faltersack CEO: Alessandra Catanese Executive Producers: Anthony Padilla, Ian Hecox EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Associate Producer, Special Projects: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Pit: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your tread's worn down or you need a new wheel, wherever you go, you can get a pro at Tread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo Road Venture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there at tread experts.ca slash locations. Everyone's got a pro need tires. I've got a pro car making a weird sound. I've got a pro.

So who's that pro the pros at tread experts from tires to auto repair. Tread experts is always there helping you with Kumo tires. You can trust until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find your pro at your local Tread Experts. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Hi, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane. Hey, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm going to look at you this whole time. I'm Amanda. And then I'll look in the camera.

How is everybody doing today? Just you, Shane. I'm doing pretty good. You know, a couple times in the past, we have helped everyone around Smosh solve their problems. We helped them so much because we are licensed people. Licensed people. And, you know, after we did those episodes, we had a psychologist come into the office and they measured the happiness index of Smosh as a whole. And it was up. Booming. It was up. Booming.

But over time, declined. Declined. So we are back and we need to boost the morale of this office once again. Yes, we do. There's clearly a lot of problems going on. There's so many problems going on. I mean, I totally get it. We do comedy. A lot of problems arise because of that.

Exactly, exactly. My biggest, I wouldn't say it's a worry, but I'm anticipating, I'm just wondering if Duran's gonna come back and talk about his dad. His dad did disappear. Yeah. So his father, his plot

in the cemetery disappeared. And he has no idea where his dad went. And so he did ask if I I did promise that I would call and sort it out. You did promise a lot. I think I also promised something like I would bring him back to life or I'm not sure

what I promised, but I remember it was like a deal with the devil but yeah we make a lot of promises here and we do follow through oh yeah so i mean he's out on your lap exactly you followed through in real time no we're we're doing a lot of great work here and i i think i think the world can agree that there's nobody more important to the world than two people on a podcast oh you know like that we are the We are going to... Captain America, good night. Go to bed. I mean, I think he already did.

But like two people on a podcast, this is the future. The world needs podcasters now more than ever. The world needs more podcasts. It needs more two people who have no idea what the F they're doing getting on a podcast and asking you to subscribe

and then putting ads on it. That's what we need. Exactly. That's what the F they're doing, getting on a podcast and asking you to subscribe and then putting ads on it. That's what we need. That's what the world needs. We need that. Before we continue, for the past, like, few, I guess, couple months, Selena has had bingo cards for both of us. Yeah, I'm worried because I think my bingo card is, like, it happened. We got informed right before this that Selena is very close to bingo. I don't know which one of us, because we both have a bingo card and it's all our mannerisms and stuff are on our bingo card.

You can check our community posts for updates on it. Yeah. We have no idea. Okay, I want to make a prediction. I feel like it's going to be me who gets out first because I feel like I usually tend to walk into things a lot and it happens. But then again, I don't know, Shane. You do the things that, you know. I do do the things that I do. But we don't know what's on the bingo cards.

We don't know. That's the thing. But you've definitely mentioned Boston in the past couple months. Okay. Yes, I have. You definitely said like, oh, it's an East Coast thing. That wasn't fair. Ted was here.

Ted is Massachusetts. And you know what? And that's how it goes. Do you think Selena's setting us up? Probably. Oh my God. Yeah, probably. That's so evil.

Yeah. She's right here in this room. Anyways. Shall we start? Shall we bring on the first client? Yeah, our first client. Yeah, let's start solving some problems. This is round three.

If you haven't seen round one or round two, go back and check it out. But this is round three of We Solve Your Problems. Let's bring in our first person, Arasha Leilani. Wow. Hi. Hello. Hey. Gorgeous.

If you're not watching She's wearing a beautiful spring dress Thank you It's Easter Oh Okay Yeah As of now it's Easter now

It's Easter And we have risen Is that offensive? Wow I don't care No It doesn't matter Clients can say whatever they want

But these two podcasters Have to be on their best behavior Confidentiality You know Agreements No one else will hear this Right Right Nobody listens to this So you're fine Clients can say whatever they want, but these two podcasters have to be on their best behavior. Confidentiality agreements. No one else will hear this. Right, right, right. Nobody listens to this, so you're fine. Yeah, you're good.

Nice. So, what's going on? What's going on with you? No, no. You cannot do that. No. That is not allowed. What's your problem?

I'm good. Don't come on here and do this. Do what? No, no. Arasha? Yes? What's going on with you today? Okay, so my problem is that, you know, when we get called to set, we are given, like,

hey, this is your last chance to, like, go pee. Right. And, or as we call it on set 10-1 right true and and and as you just saw i pee right before yeah like immediately before yeah but then when we're in our videos and we're filming i have to pee again like super badly whoa Not immediately, but, like, you know, a little bit into it. Okay. Like, when we were doing Smosh Pit Theater just the other day, and you guys were doing scenes from a hat.

Oh, no. I, like, I feel like we have to cut back to the footage if we do have it, because I really, I'm not kidding, in my head, I was like, I'm just going to pee myself and it'll be fine. Like, I was like, I'm just... Well, you're behind the podium, right? Right, right. Yeah, so you could have. I was just like, I'm just going to sit in a puddle and my pee and then at some point I'm just going to leave and nobody's going to know. I really had to convince myself, but then

luckily we cut and I was like, I gotta go. And I quickly, like, ran to the bathroom, but we don't always do that. No, we don't. They don't. They don't usually cut. And, like, games videos always do that. No, we don't. They don't. They don't. They don't usually cut. And like games videos sometimes too, like we're going at it for like an hour and a half, two hours without cutting. And I'm a hydrated girl.

Right. So what do I do? Well. Wow. Because I don't want to disrupt, you know, like you don't want to be inconvenient. And I tried that like the other day in Reddit stories. I was like, anyway, I can pee. And they were like, okay, let's

cut. And I was like, I'm gonna lose my job. You didn't want to cut. Our next story. Do you guys need water? Am I a bad person if I pee? Yeah, we can cut. Oh, shoot. We have to cut for that? I'm sorry. No, please.

Just so I'm not wiggly. No, go. I get it. So you're a hydrated girly who also wants everyone to be happy and you want the video to go well. Exactly. Wow. Yeah. So what do I do? Ooh, that's tough. I kind of hear you because I'm also hydrated a lot and I also have to pee all the time.

It doesn't help that most. Empathy, okay. It doesn't help that most of our episodes of anything are over an hour long. So it's like over an hour of sitting here doing this. I think you need to cut the liquids in half, babe. Yeah, I think the answer is to be dehydrated. No! Yes, be a camel. Just listen.

I have to pee right now. No, hey, no. Should I just do it? No, hey. Not on Smosh Mouth. No, you're the first person. But I have a dress. It could just go right now. No. Hey. No. Should I just do it? No. Hey. No. Not on Smosh Mouth. No. You're the first person. But I have a dress. It could just go right down to the floor.

Well, it's going to hit all these wires and we're all going to get electrocuted. Yeah. We're going to die. But it'll water the plants. And then our sign will go out. We can't have that. If we don't have this sign, we can't do this pod. Okay.

The show ends as soon as the light goes out. Okay. I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. Listen. I think that just cut down on whatever hydration is going on and also like, it's okay to stop.

It's down. It is okay. Nobody's upset. I mean, we cut on that Reddit stories. Some people might be. No, all of production is rolling their eyes right now. They're like, no. When you were on Reddit stories and we cut

and you went to the bathroom, I knew it was fine. I mean, did I look over and Emily went, ugh, like, yeah,'re like, no. When you were on Reddit stories and we cut and you went to the bathroom, I knew it was fine. I mean, did I look over and Emily went, ugh, like, yeah, but like, it's okay. I knew it. Totally everybody was talking about me while I was peeing. Everybody was sitting in that room

and they were mad at me. Because Shane was like, he was ready to go. He was ready to read another story right then and there. It's really hard for me to stop reading Reddit stories and get back into reading Reddit stories. Because he's so good at it. But it's okay.

I get it. But it's okay. He never messes up. He continues. He just reads them super quick and there's never an issue. I know. Okay, so which one is it? Like be more dehydrated or just like stand up for myself

and be like, we got to stop because I have to pee right now. I don't want to tell you to be dehydrated. So I'm going to go with stand up for yourself. All right. All right. Fine. Stand up for yourself. Okay.

Yeah. Fine. I guess stand up for yourself. I'm sorry. I have a male on this podcast. It is hard. Girl. Do you hear me?

I hear you, girl. Girl. Girl. It is hard. Let me tell you. Why is it always, do you hear me? I hear you, girl. Girl. Girl. It is hard. Yeah. Let me tell you. Why is it always, can I say something? Why is it always Smosh Pit Theater that I have to go to the bathroom during?

I feel like suited up in Smosh Pit Theater. Smosh Pit Theater, I always, at least halfway through, I have to go to the bathroom. Maybe it's like nerves, you know? I don't know. It's the turtleneck. It's the turtlenecks. It's the freaking turtleneck. It's the turtlenecks.

I feel trapped. So that makes you pee? Perhaps an intermission during Smosh Pit Theater. Perhaps because it's theater. Okay, and we can all suggest it together. So that way nobody's singled out. And we'll just make sure that they never watch this. And we're a team.

We're all one cast. We'll be standing right behind you. Hey, bring one cast. We'll be standing right behind you. Hey, bring it in. We'll be standing right behind you when you do it. Thanks, guys. You got it, Rasha. Why are you holding my hand like that? What are you talking about? Girl, I get it.

What's going on over here? Like in that Ariana Grande Wicked clip. It's this. Oh my god. Having that done to you in both hands Grande wicked clip. It's this. Oh, oh my God. Having that done to you like in both hands is really nice. Arasha, your time has expired. Arasha, thank you. Okay, bye.

Good luck with everything and head to the bathroom. Go to the bathroom. Okay, I'll see you guys at, what do they do after church? Cookies and. They eat donuts in the basement. They go to restaurants and terrorize waiters. Those are the rich churches. Mine was like a weird dusty basement where people cooked cookies and it was bad.

Okay, what? Catholic Church. I was there by myself. Catholic Church. Our next client. Oh, great. Oh my God, Sarah. Sarah's here.

Sarah is incredible. Oh my God, Sarah. Sarah's here. Sarah is incredible. Hello, God bless. Sarah's the first face that you see when you walk into Smosh. That's right. She also makes the best snacks in the fridge ever. She does little grapes and carrots and she has everything organized. She is my queen. Oh my God.

Thank you so much. You're so welcome. What brings you in today? Yeah. Okay. Don't be nervous. So I am. Don't be nervous. I'm not.

Okay. She's like, I killed a man. Sarah, you can't bring that here. Okay, Sarah, we have to stop. Okay, cool. It's not that serious, but it's pretty serious. Okay. Okay. I am currently a part of a group chat on Instagram for a job that I have not had in over a year. And I don't know how to leave the group chat because it's been too long.

And I can't look at the messages because on Instagram, it says like a little bubble pops up that's like your profile picture. So it like knows if you look at the messages. And if I leave the group, it will be like Sarah left the group. And they're going to be like, why is she still in the group? How did she get in the group? Why is she in the group? And it's for a place that I still go to.

So then they're going to see me and be like, she left a group. But we didn't even know she was in the group. Do you know what I mean? I get it. And are you afraid that any of these former coworkers of yours would watch this? Probably. By any chance? So you can't even mention the name of this place.

No, I can't. It's AMC Century City. What? A movie theater? No! You can't leave that group? You understand, yeah. Don't you get free popcorn still? They're very strict at AMC.

They are. It's very corporate. I was a member for like two months and I was like, this is sick! And then I didn't go to enough. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel. Wherever you go, you can get it from our tread experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo tread experts dealer near you TreadExperts.ca slash locations.

From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz. Make instant deposits or same-day withdrawals. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions.

19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Yeah. And I don't drink soda, so it was like, what is the point? free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Yeah. And I don't drink soda,

so it was like, what is the point? You get a free large, but the larges are huge. They're huge. Get a bunch of red vines. Yeah. Nobody touches that.

No, they don't. Oh, man. So you haven't even, you've been resisting looking at this group chat. So I haven't looked at any of the notifications. I've muted the notifications. You are so much stronger than me.

You've missed so many memes, probably Oscar memes. Probably. I've missed a lot. But it used to be like, can you cover my shift on Wednesday? And I'd be like, literally, I can't. But then now. Literally, I can't. Now it's like so much time has passed.

There's videos in there. But you can mute. So I don't get alerted. But it's still there. But but you can like mute. So I don't get like alerted, but it's still there is a notification. So my DMs still have like all of the notifications. Did you leave on good terms? I think so. Okay.

But I was there for, it was a very brief period in my life. I was in survival mode. It was recent-ish. Here's the thing, Sarah. You could leave the group, and you would never know what they said after. Right. But, like, when I go there, they're going to, like, scan my ticket. And, like, what if they, like, go in their little walkie-talkie, and they're like, that girl that left our group is here.

Do you have to go to that AMC? Do you think they won't let you see any movies? Damn, that's what they say in the walkie-talkies. I thought they were working. That's what they're saying. I mean, we are working, but snitching on people. They're like bitches. Wow. I always knew it.

I knew it, too. When I'm walking in there, I give them their ticket, and they say something. They're saying just like, look at this fucking nerd. Yeah. Oh, they definitely are. For sure. For sure. Exactly what they're used for.

I don't think you should leave. Hey, that's a show on Netflix. Don't steal that. It's one of my favorite shows ever. I know. Wait. I think you should just hop in, scroll for as long as you can, get as much info as possible. Then they'll see her picture that she's back.

And what are they going to do about it? But she hasn't been there in months. You get it. Wait, hear me out. What if you just deleted the whole, can you like swipe and delete the whole conversation and it's gone forever? But then I feel like if they write again, won't it just pop back up? You're saying like to Thanos snap the group chat? Just get rid of it all?

Yeah. If I can't be here, none of you can. That's how I'm going to deal with it. Yeah, yeah. They'll love that. Okay. Okay. Maybe let's go with Shane's approach since we don't like the Thanos approach.

Get in there. Read what you need to read. And then I personally think you should just leave. Should I announce I'm leaving? That'd be really funny. Guys. You could be like, guys, I've had a great time working with you all, but I gotta go. It's been a year.

And then they might all just be like, wait, what? And they're gonna be like, who is this girl? That's so true. Yeah. Or maybe you hop in there. Maybe you just do a little bit of fun gaslighting where you hop in and you go, hey, can you guys cover my shift on Sunday? And you start lying.

I literally can't. I thought she quit. Oh, wait, she still works here. And you're just like, yeah, I've been off for a little bit. Took a leave. Yeah, exactly. That seems like a six-month leave of absence. Yeah, sure. Dabble in danger. Like, get in there

and kind of fuck shit up and then leave. You could do that. Dabble in danger. I think you have an abundance of opportunity here. Okay. And I think I'm very impressed. I trust you so much as a co-worker knowing that you are willing to just leave that because

I wouldn't be able to do that. No. Shane would want to know what everyone's talking about. Exactly. Yeah, there's tea in there. Get in there! I mean. It's covered for sure. Sarah, get in there. Sarah. And come back to us and tell us what was in there. Okay, I'll write it all down.

Okay, great. The AMC Century City lookout. Your secrets. I can't. We know your secrets. I can't. We can't say it. I love Nicole Kidman, and I'm just really happy to be here.

Nicole's not on the chat, right? No, God no. Was that the theater that she went and watched all those movies at? No, it was like the Porter Ranch one went and watched all those movies at no it was like the porter ranch one porter ranch i love that you knew the actual answer yeah i thought it was a studio i didn't realize now it's an actual theater wow you know what i think you helped us today whoa yeah i i learned like what i would do and i learned what shane would do and now i learned that we're both sneaky little devils and we want to get in there and read what's in there.

I'm going to go right now. I'm going to go dabble in danger. Good. Thank you so much. You're so welcome. Thank you, Sarah. Wow. It's so nice knowing we have a trustworthy person working with us. Yeah, 100%. Because we are not. No, not at all.

We're awful people. Yes. Thank God for her. Okay, next up, we have Courtney. Your wife! Whoa! Your wife is here at work. Is that okay? Courtney!

Hello. Hi, Courtney. I'm so excited to see you. So good to see you. And you're here because? Hey. I was just hanging out. Hi, Courtney. Hi Kourt Good morning Good morning

Thanks for having me This is an issue that I really, really don't know what to do Is it about him? No, no, it's not about him Okay But he's, you might, I don't know So, okay, I'll just get into it, guys I love this

So, I have this cat, Bones, you know him Yeah, Bones Okay, yeah, I'll just get into it, guys. I love this. So, I have this cat, Bones. You know him. Yeah, Bones. Okay, yeah, I've met him a couple times. Yeah. And our cats, they're great, you know? They're cats. They don't piss in secret places anywhere.

They only go in the litter box. They don't puke under the bed or do weird shit like that, you know? But Bones, you know, he's a good cat, but sometimes when you're walking around your house, you'll notice something on the floor, and it's just one tiny dingleberry. It must have been stuck to him, and he just left it there.

Like breadcrumbs, but it's a turd? Yes. That's what a dingleberry is. Turd. Totally. Oh yeah, for sure. Like so insignificant. And it's like, it's never like a mess.

It's always just, huh. And it's just in a random place. Have you stepped on it barefoot? No. These are the thoughts that are in my head. Out of everything, you're like, okay. I have to know. And the thing is,

Bone's a lovely cat. He is the type that if he was a dude, he's a dude who wouldn't wash his ass. You know what I mean? He doesn't like grooming himself. Birdie, she's working overtime, taking care of herself and her brother. But yeah, I'll just, I'll be walking around the house and you'll see, in the corner of the room, it must have just been like stuck to him. And then it fell off of him later.

It just let loose? I don't know. I don't know if he's pinching off too soon. You guys got to talk to this. You guys got to talk to this Bones. He's got to learn proper toilet etiquette. Yeah, this sounds like a really bad problem. It sounds like a really bad problem you have. But this is like how we find out

it was like Shane the whole time. It's Shane the whole time. If it is, then you guys need a bidet. Look at what our cat's doing. Bones! And it's huge. Bones. I can't believe our cat's leaving human-sized shits everywhere. Bones!

What a filthy fucker. God, oh, wife. Everything else is great. He uses the litter box great, except sometimes, I don't know, he must leave it too soon, and then it drops off later. A dingleberry is when a little poop is stuck to your butt. Oh, yeah. I had a little white Bichon Frise growing up, and that baby had dingleberries everywhere.

My mom was like, ugh, cutting them out. Sorry. Whoops. No, that's real. That's real. That's real. Wait, I have a question. I thought cats, so sometimes cats pee on things because they're mad at their owners.

You don't think this is like a retaliation or anything, right? I don't think so. Uh, if I may, you know, step in, step in here,

uh, and, and contemplate, um, there's, there was one time where he came out of the bathroom and he was like pissed. And then I saw that it was still on him and I was like, okay,

come here, man, let me help you get that off. Oh, so I had to get a paper towel and try to help him and he was just freaking out. He hated it. He was like,

okay. So you ignited something in him where now he doesn't want you to do that so he leaves him around the house to remind you to never enter his personal space. I don't think that's the case. I think he was glad that I did it. He was mad at the moment, but then he was

grateful afterwards. It sometimes goes away. I don't understand. He's a hydrated cat. I'm like, oh, is he dehydrated? He's healthy. He's drinking tons of water. It's not even like a hairball situation. I don't think he's good at grooming himself, though. The thing with, and this is, I'm so sorry, listeners, to get graphic. It is a clean

nut of a dingleberry. It is not... There's not anything else. It is just where you're just like, that's a little ball. He seems like he's a very healthy cat. It's frustrating. That's frustrating, no.

He's just kind of a filthy douchebag. You know? Okay, there's different... You guys have different feelings about Bones. He's a douchebag. He's a douchebag. You know? Okay, there's different, you know, you guys have different feelings about Bones. He's a douchebag. Sometimes you live and work your life with people who douchebag and that's fine. Yeah, totally. I love him to death. I hate him.

Well, he's wonderful. He's awful. What's great is we're getting into something deeper here and actually I would like to take more time to explore this relationship. We don't have time. I need to figure out this. There's many dingleberries at home. No, I'm just kidding. We clean them up immediately.

I don't know what to do about the dingleberries because I've never owned a cat, but I will say... Cat butt? I feel like dogs have dingleberries more often than cats. For sure.

And they don't give an F. They don't care. They'll go ham. Bones is kind of a dog. Yeah. I think that's the thing is he's the spirit of a dog in a cat. And he's trying to tell you guys that. I probably... We need to treat him like a dog more. Yeah. I think that's the thing. He's the spirit of a dog in a cat. And he's trying to tell you guys that. Probably.

We need to treat him like a dog more. Yeah. I think you guys need to treat him like a dog and accept. Put him outside. Get him a job. Get a boobie scoop. Dogs don't have jobs. Yes, they do. Yes, they do, actually. I think maybe he's got the spirit of a husky.

Get him a sled. Yeah, maybe getting him a sled will help him with the dingleberries. Thanks, guys. Wow, okay. You're so welcome. I hope you solve that problem. I hope you solve that problem alone, on your own. Thank you.

I will handle this. Good luck with your douchebag son. Thank you. Thank you, Courtney. Courtney, everybody. Wow. Man. That sounds tough.

That sounds tough. Glad I don't have to deal with that. Yeah tough Good for you Next up we have Caroline Caroline Hey guys Hey we don't talk a lot Hey Caroline We don't talk a lot but you get the best lunches ever in the office Thank you

And it's great that you mention that actually Are people having issue with soup day? If people are having issue with soup day And it's great that you mentioned that, actually. Are people having issue with soup day? If people are having issue with soup day, I'm going to be really upset. I want people to know that as soon as Caroline came in, we started having soup day. We started having breakfast for lunch day. Pancakes. We're having themes all over the place.

It's very cool. People are pumping their arms out there. They're stoked. People are pumping their arms. Thank you guys. Thank you guys so much. What's going on? Well, so, you know, I'm new to this job.

I'm ish. This is my first real job. I just graduated last May. Whoa. You're a baby. Yeah. So I was never taught this in college. And so I think I need help on how do I get adults to eat their vegetables? I know you're not talking about me because I love my veggies.

No, it might just be other people in this room. Whoa. And at this office. Is it James? Is it James? James was shaking his head when you mentioned vegetables. James feels like he eats vegetables. He immediately was like.

I won't add names because that might lead to something. Okay. I see. You know, I won't add names because that might lead to something. Okay. You know, I get salads like every day. And I love that. Thank you. Thank you. I get salads every day and then, you know, everyone eats, everyone takes home leftovers, then it's all salad left.

And then I take a giant gallon bag home and then I don't eat the salad. And then I've even inquired on like people that own tortoises so I can start feeding tortoises so my parents actually have a friend that has a tortoise so I might start doing that but I think before I do that if I could just like how do I get people to eat their vegetables first interesting

you're so right but you're saying that you bring the salad home and then you don't eat the salad well because I'm just one girl and it ends up being like a 10-gallon bag. She's just one girl. She's just one girl, okay? She's just one girl. It's too much salad. Sometimes you can't have that much salad.

You're exhausting. But you're saying during lunch you're eating your fair share of the vegetables. Yeah. So you need other people to chip in and eat some vegetables. Yeah, and I feel like people could pick up the slack a little bit. For sure. What if you put it, you know how you make those cute little signs? What if it's like you can't pass go unless you put this amount of salad?

I could wait until everyone eats and be like, James, no salad on your plate? So it is James. No, no. He's just here. So it's kind of like one of the Saw movies where if we collectively don't eat the salad, we don't get to eat the other food. It's kind of like we have to work together to solve the issue.

Whoa. And in a nicer solution, I was thinking like, you guys have some sway in this office. Like, people listen to what you do sometimes. Let me tell you, big time sway. Okay. I don't know. I'm just saying.

So you want us to joke around a little bit and then force feed? Force do some bits? You know what they say. Shane has a lot of sway around here. No, I'm just saying, like, I don't know, when you go to the lunch line and get your plate, you're like, wow, this salad looks amazing. I'm so excited to eat it.

And then I feel like I actually. I'll scoop up some salad and be like, wow, this salad's so good! To be honest, it's Shane not really eating the salad. I don't... Okay. He eats a lot of salad. Can I say something? Sure, sure.

Can I say something? You can say something. Because there's two aspects to the vegetables to lunch every day, all right? There's always some salad at the beginning, but there's always a ton of vegetable options towards the end, right? Smothered in stuff. I'm more of a broccoli, carrot, potato person. And there's just the whole vegetables at the end.

Or you can get salad. But I like just straight up broccoli. And I eat my vegetables that way. Okay. Okay. You get a cookie for sure. Totally. Thanks.

And I will get a cookie. It's true. There's not broccoli every day. There's not broccoli every day. Well, but there's usually a vegetable option. I think this is a salad issue. There's usually a vegetable option there's usually a vegetable option. I think this is a salad issue. There's usually a vegetable option. Okay, okay, salad.

So this is a salad issue. You need people to eat the salad. I need people to eat the salad. Here's what it is, Caroline, is I feel like you shouldn't be the only one responsible for taking all the salad home. I think you're building resentment. I don't understand. Okay, can I address what's also a problem here? Yes.

There is someone here who is our resident like leftover taker. Okay? And I'm shocked to hear that there are leftovers being left behind. Luke eats, he takes it all, but he's leaving the salad?

This sounds like a Luke problem to me. Luke is being surpassed in the leftover department to be honest. What? I don't even see him grabbing boxes.

What's going on with him? What is happening with Luke? Jonathan, like other freelancers and stuff, they'll take, I'll set aside the lids for the trays and they'll take the whole tray. Wow. Wow. So there are people who are working overtime.

But none of them are taking salad. No one wants the salad. And then what's crazy is I'm like, okay, well let me get less salad, and then all of a sudden everyone's eating the salad I have a couple solutions I have a couple solutions

At the beginning, right before lunch is served, you have all the trays out there sprinkle the salad over all the other trays so you cannot eat any of the food without getting through the salad first But then I'm going to get feedback going I don't like that there was arugula in the fish. Caroline, don't do that.

Just ignore what he just said, but let's hear the second one. Another option is we get some turtles. We get a tortoise. We just have them in the office. I think as long as once lunch is done, the leftover salad, you just tip it over onto the floor. Here comes Sammy, everybody. Here comes the tortoise. I like this solution the best.

And he eats the salad. We just have an office tortoise. Great. So let everyone know that Shane, who has the sway, said that you should bring in turtles during lunch. I would be so happy if we just had turtles walking around. Actually, me too. I think nobody would be upset about it. Well, yeah. We would have to know that they're there on the ground, though.

Like when we're running around with heels. Points. Well, we get a big enough tortoise. You get a big enough tortoise, you can ride it. Oh, yeah. They're huge. And they'll live forever. So in 100 years, after we're all gone, that tortoise is still walking around this office.

Wow. I learned so much during this, because Shane wants to ride a tortoise. I hope that we solved your salad problem. And you know what? That's the answer we look for here at Smosh Mouth. We'll see today. Okay, thanks, Caroline. Guys, eat your salad problem. Maybe. And you know what? That's the answer we look for here at Smosh Mouth. We'll see today. We'll see today. Okay. Thanks, Caroline. Guys, eat your salad.

Eat salad. Eat salad. Alright, our next client, we have Noah. Noah, welcome. Noah Grossman. We love you. What is that shirt? Margarita Void? Oh, yeah. Stare into the Margarita Void. Oh, that's awesome. Oh my god. Love that. It's like Margaritaville but like trippy. But a void? Oh, yeah. Stare into the Margarita Void. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, my God. Love that.

It's like Margaritaville, but like trippy. But a void. Yeah, yeah. Definitely Patrick inspired. Cool. Without a doubt. Yeah. Nice.

You stopped dyeing your hair. Yeah, I was. So it's kind of related to my issue I would like you guys to solve. That's kind of in me. You know, I feel I'm empathic in that sense. So I've been having, for a little while now, I've been having like high stress hormone levels and it's been leading to kind of like scalp psoriasis

and other sort of things. Oh, shit. You know, a little bit of hair loss and stuff like that. So I've been growing it out just to try to be healthier. It's beautiful. And it looks nice. Thank you. It looks gorgeous.

Thank you. Yeah, it looks fantastic. I appreciate that. And it's helping a little bit. But one thing that I haven't been able to try to solve is my sleeping schedule. I just can't seem to. If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel. Wherever you go, you can get it from our dread experts.

Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo TreadExperts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there. TreadExperts.ca When you want to bet on sports, play it on a field or ice or course, Bear Rivers is the place. When you want to bet on sports, play it on a field or ice or course,

BetRivers is the place. Over, under, money, line, same game, parlay, it's all fine. You'll put a smile on your face. Bet on the sports you love with BetRivers Sportsbook. Take a chance. Must be 19 plus. Available in Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConnexOntario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

Properly go to sleep or stay asleep for a long period of time. I'm like functioning in these spurts of like high activity and then just deep valleys. And I feel like I don't necessarily know how to get that under control. Margarita void. Margarita void. Because it feels like I'm not being as productive as I can be with my whole day. Because I like burn out quick. Yeah.

If that makes sense. How much sleep do you think you're getting? I think I'm getting like eight hours of sleep, but in period. So I might be able to get like four hours and then I'm up for like eight hours. And then I do four hours and then I'm like up for eight hours. It's like a, I'm in like half day cycles. So you're not, you're not hitting that REM. Yeah, that's what it is.

It feels like I'm not fully getting. Yeah. You were really happy about that. No, just the REM cycle. Like you need to get to get into that deep sleep zone. So you're not sleeping long enough. Like you're getting a total of eight hours throughout the day, but since they're in short bursts. You're not actually fully resting and relaxing your brain

yeah yeah okay this is so weird and you probably might be like no but i'm with you with sleep sometimes i'll wake up with full thought process and like start to kind of obsess about it i now wear an eye mask and before i was like i don't want to wear an eye mask because if a serial killer comes in then you want to be able to see the face. And I won't be able to see them, obviously. But I've started to wear an eye mask. And what it does is it forces your eyes shut. And it shuts down. For some reason, it just keeps the voices on a quieter level.

I don't know. Interesting. I'll try that. Do you have a good sleep mask recommendation? To me, it should be silk. Because that's what I'm looking for. That's comfortable. Because it helps with, you know, lines.

Is it weighted? Yeah. It's not weighted. I feel like weighted is a little aggressive. Okay. That's intense. I don't know. I'm just asking, you know.

So your issue is that you're waking up and you have an idea and you have to like. Oh, yeah. Before I sleep, like it takes me probably about an hour to go to sleep and I'm like if I was to build an Indian restaurant what would I name it how would I employ everyone what would the menus look like well and then it's like what is happening and then I'll go to sleep and I'll wake up and it's something else I don't know the name of your Indian restaurant that sounds awesome but you need to write it's butter bitchin by the way it we just serve butter chicken what yeah it's, it's like a food truck, but this one's brick and mortar.

Pretty cool. Don't tell everyone your secrets. I'm not going to do that. Okay, well, listen. Here. What if you had, and this sounds very therapist, but I actually do think it works. What if you had a notebook by your bed and you wrote down all butter bitching. You wrote down all the things for your Indian restaurant so that you could get it out of your head and go

to sleep. And when you wake up, you have the notebook there and you're like, what? You write it all down, whatever's going on in your head so you can get it out of your head so you can go back to sleep. I like that. I might try that. Yeah, because I've tried to do notes on my phone, but I feel like that re-stimulates. See, the problem is then you're looking at your phone

and that's going to mess you up. Yeah, a notepad might be good. It's one of my favorite things I've ever heard is Mitch Hedberg, how he came up with all of his jokes. Apparently, maybe this is not true, but he would hold a pair of keys over a metal tray. And as he was going to sleep, so as soon as he's hitting that point where he's falling asleep, he would drop the keys onto the metal tray, and it would wake him back up and that's how he'd think of like all of his weirdest jokes because he's hitting that like weird part of his brain oh my god don't do that that's incredible uh i i like the idea of a notepad so then you write it down and then like your method should be like okay i'm gonna sleep on all my ideas now so like i write down the basic idea now i need to go to sleep and know that in my

sleep i'm gonna come up with a bunch more stuff. Or, if your problem is that your ideas are keeping you up, you could write on your ceiling, write, that idea is stupid. So that when you wake up and you're like, I have an idea, I need to write about it, and then you see like, oh no, that idea is stupid. I can go back to sleep.

I like that. You're trying to solve it like memento. Yeah, exactly. The memento method. Go back to sleep, dumbass. He looks at it. Yeah, totally. You're never going to figure it out. Just go back to sleep. Give up.

Actually, that's probably good. You should just do that. Yeah, okay. I'll memento myself. That's the director's cut. He comes back. His head is just shaved. Yes.

We're like, oh, God. Is everything okay? Yeah. All right. Thank you very much. I hope that helps. Yeah, the notepad, the eye mask, and head is just shaved. Yes. And we're like, oh, God, is everything okay? Yeah. All right. Thank you very much. I hope that helps. Yeah, the notepad, the eye mask, and then just giving up. Silk.

I can't wait for that Indian restaurant. Me too. Yeah, you guys like it? I love that. I'm looking for investors, so maybe we can do like a Smosh Pit, you know, like a, I don't know, like a- Smosh Pit! What's the show called?

Shark Tank. There we go. We do Shark Pit. And I come to you with my butter bitchin' and you guys can pitch me $6, $7. Pitching a new show as well. Sharks, I'm looking for $20. Thank you very much, guys.

You're so welcome. Bye, Noah. Bye. Wow. Indian restaurant food truck. I'm sure that's a thing. I think there's every kind of food truck in LA Pretty good With ideas like that I'd be staying up too Me too

So you have no ideas? No That's why I sleep so well You're like Rem let me tell you Brain is off Our next client we have Courtney here Courtney Courtney with a K That's right Hi I'm Courtney Our next client, we have Courtney here. Courtney!

Courtney with a K. That's right. Yeah. Hi, I'm Courtney. Hi, Courtney. How are you? I'm okay. Is that a tooth?

I'm okay. You do have a tooth on the end of your necklace there. Yeah, it's in a little cage. Is that a real tooth? This is a real tooth. Wait! Okay. What?

Yeah. Whose? Yours? It's not mine. I found it. Whose? Courtney, whose tooth is that? This is my ex's tooth. It was consensual. I did get it. Okay good. It was a gift. I love this so much. Which tooth on your ex? Wisdom tooth. I don't know which one. Okay. I have all of his wisdom.

All of them? Yeah, I didn't have much. Dude. We thought we were good and funny. Oh my God. We are not. Do you think there's a chance that you're editing this very episode?

I really hope not. She's gonna go, I'm cutting all that. Yeah, no, none of it's making it. Okay, tell us what's going on, other than you're wearing your ex's tooth. Well, for a long time now, like, I think the first

instance was kind of like high school. I've been told that I have a weird voice. What? You're not our first client who came in here saying that people say they have a weird voice. Nicole said that too. Yeah. No. Nicole said people say she sounds like AI or what was

it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I, you know. No. No, not at all. Which I guess like everyone, no one wants to sound like AI, but AI is everywhere. Yeah. AI is trying to sound human. AI is trying to sound like us. Which is so messed up. I know. Wait.

I love your voice. Thanks. You're going all the way back to high school. Did people give specifics? What did they say? I'm trying to decide what is appropriate to say. Well, we can edit anything out. You have to put that in there.

People have said that I have a sex voice. I have a bunch of comments in a video said I sound like Naruto, which upset me. You know I don't know who that is. Do you know who that is? You sound like Naruto? Yeah. I haven't watched much Naruto, but I don't think you sound like Naruto from what I recall.

And a sex voice meaning like the people who are like, hey, call 1-800-blah-blah-blah? I'm assuming that. The first time I spoke to my ex's mom, it was over the phone, and she immediately was like, oh, that's why he likes you? I'm just like, that's weird. What? So this sounds like other people's problems. I guess, because I don't hear my voice like that. It's just a voice, so I guess it's your guys' problems.

I hear your voice as like, see, when I watch a lot of animation and do voiceover stuff, I hear your voice as being epic. I'm like, watch a lot of animation and like do voiceover stuff i hear your voice is being like epic i'm like oh my god that's such a good voice to me it could be like anything it could be like quirky it could be like curious it could be like detective it could be like researcher it could be like little scientists that's me maybe that's weird for me to say but like i love your voice i think it's layered and a little smoky and smart. Like, Shane's voice is like, it's good.

Okay. Wow. No, I'm just kidding. Shane has a great voice. But your voice has like texture and it's layered and there's like thoughts there and it's... It's like there's something behind my eyes. Yeah, I know.

Yeah, your voice reminds me kind of of like, oh God, what's the show? I'm trying to think. It's like from like a... Naruto. Not Naruto. Oh, I'm... I've never even watched the show, but I feel like it's kind of that vibe. It's like this chill, like 90s coffee shop vibe. You know what I mean? Like it's

a laid back voice. Daria? What? Daria. Daria. Like that's what I would say like... What's that opening song? See, I listen to you and I don't think... the first thing I'm not thinking about is your voice. You're thinking about? The tooth. Your hair. Oh.

You changed your hair color a lot. I'm thinking of the tooth around your neck. No, I'm not because this is the first time I've seen the tooth. I wear it a lot. It's honestly my favorite gift I've ever gotten. Oh, he was like, here you go. I asked for it. I love it.

I have like taxidermy and stuff. I'm layered. Okay. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. So, okay. So does this, this really does bother you then? It only bothers me in that like, it is something that I'm consistently aware of.

Like when I'm meeting new people, I'm like, oh, are they going to say something? I definitely don't think you need to be thinking about it. Absolutely not. What your ex's mom said and what people are saying, I mean, definitely like what people say in high school, like people are just saying all sorts of weird shit. Also, sex voice, F them. That's so weird to say.

You know what Audrey said when I told her what my prompt was? She was like, yeah, has your voice always been like that? Jesus. I don't even think. said when I told her what my prompt was. She was like, yeah, has your voice always been like that? Jesus! I don't even think... Listen, I think you just have to have a protective layer of like, I'm not going to think about that anymore because it's other people's things.

Also, maybe see it as a good thing. You have a unique voice. You don't like that? It's just like, don't like that i have to accept it like there's nothing i can do unless i like put on a fake voice yeah you don't want to do that no dude you gotta you gotta own who you are and i i think like your voice is great like i don't think there's anything for you to feel insecure about yeah and everyone has a unique voice i mean when i i wouldn't think that you stand out necessarily at Smosh of having some wild voice compared to other people.

Everyone has a unique voice. We could put everyone behind a love is blind screen and I would be able to probably. Who, should we? We could probably clock everyone's voice just because every voice is unique. Shane guesses voices and you just guess Naruto, whatever it's called. Everyone's like, hey Shane. Oh, that's right. I did not. I was not part of that video. But I did really well with that.

You did really well. Yeah. So, I don't know. I think everyone has a unique voice. And I think you should be proud of yours. Thanks. I love your voice. I think when you're wearing a tooth around your neck, I wouldn't worry about your voice. There are bigger problems.

Also, fuck everyone else. You wearing a tooth around your neck, I wouldn't worry about your voice. There are bigger problems. Also, fuck everyone else. You got a tooth around your neck, walk proud, because that's sick. Your ex's tooth. You're welcome. I hope that we helped you. You did. Great. Great.

I believe her. Wow. Man. I never want my wisdom teeth out. That's a big two. You still have them? I still have them. Whoa. Don't. What does that mean?

Aren't I too old to get them out? You're never too old. That's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. I've got mine right here. All right. Next client. Tommy. Tommy Bell. I've got mine right here Alright, next client Tommy Tommy Bell

Not Tom, Tommy Only Tom Alright grandma, open up, let me see those teeth Let's get them Let's get them Hi Tommy How we doing? I'm good, there's a plastic turtle back there

That I was going to bring on and do a callback to. Nice! But then I decided, no, this pocket's about me. I was just going to say, this is about you. Yeah, it's about me. I think an office turtle would be so sick. I would love an office turtle. It's clear you guys, yeah, you want a turtle. Just let them walk around, like, not even half way. I don't think you can ride it though, that's my only thing. A tortoise? A tortoise is

huge, Amanda. I don't think I could put my body on a tortoise. I don't think it would go anywhere. Some of us, some people could ride it, right? A tortoise is not for everyone, Amanda. It's not. I get on it and I'm like, yay! They said I could do it.

It's like, roo! It's like, roo! Roo! Oh! Roo! It's shell is like, kkkk! Awful. Anyways. anyways hi Tommy alright so my

thing the only thing I have is I mean I guess it's a broader problem of like I still read comments even though I know I'm not supposed to but people still won't let go of the crying bathroom thing which was like a fun bit that happened that we then had a viral short happen because of uh family feud not the most recent one but the one before that i remember um and so now it's like a bit that's been tied to me and like i'd like to project you know that i'm

not mentally unwell all the time it's like like, this Tommy came out of the crying bathroom. Bonky, bonky, bodily bonky, bonk. I'm like, great. You've said that you said the line.

So I guess I'm like, how do I, how do I break free from, how do we kill the crying? How do we kill the crying bathroom attached to me? To be honest, I haven't seen you in the crying bathroom. And it's like,

I don't, I haven't used the crying bathroom in like a year and change. I mean, I've used it to take a big old dump. Yeah. Because that's what it's for now. Right. It's not really the crying bathroom. And it's like, I don't even. I haven't used the crying bathroom in like a year and change. I mean, I've used it to take a big old dump. Yeah, because that's what it's for now. It's not really the crying bathroom anymore. No. In fact, guys,

I don't think the crying bathroom exists. It's for dumps. It's for dumps. Because it's a little bit away. Yeah, and you know, it's one of the worst bathroom for dumps because it's such a shallow toilet. You're right.

It really splashes back in a way that we're not okay with. See, I think you're already proving your point that you don't cry in there. It's like Tommy's back from the shallow dump toilet. Bonky, bonky, bonk. I'm like, okay. Yeah, let's not go on that route.

Cool. We could just destroy that bathroom. We could just get rid of it. That's true. We could blow up that bathroom. He does destroy it. Often. Bonky, bonky, bonky, bonk.

I'm trying to clear your name while creating more lore. A new awful lore for me. You could go to one of the other bathrooms and start yelling with rage. Right, the yelling bathroom. Then they'll say he's the rageful bathroom.

But what if I do like a, what if I giggle in a bathroom? Oh, the laughing bathroom. The giggle bathroom. Do we want to start that? We could do the giggle bathroom. Here's the thing that you guys need to understand

is Tommy is a beautiful person with emotions. And whatever he does in the bathroom, he fucking does in the bathroom. People cry everywhere. I don't just cry in the bathroom. Other people cry too. Yeah, I cry at lunch. I know, because may I say, other people

definitely cry. Other people do cry as well. It's frustrating that, you know, you pointed out that it's the crying bathroom, but that didn't just mean you were crying in there. No, the crying bathroom. The bit became because several people were like, you cry in the bathroom i cry in the bathroom i look at that and then it's like tommy didn't cry bobby so i'm like yeah i can't your name is on it and we need to clear your name right because you are tommy i am tommy who does comedy who does comedy and you have emotions and there's nothing nothing wrong with emotions and use the

bathroom there's nothing wrong with emotions and use the bathroom and plenty of other people cry guys we gotta stop this uh yeah we you can do your best to try to like maybe throw something out there that'll that'll attach to the fans that they'll give them a new thing because what unfortunately they do something gets said occasionally oh yeah it's also onto it yeah i'm also breaking free of the pants thing by the way those pants i don't have them in my home anymore which pants the pants the pants the pants the pants you and damien so by the way that happened because i have my patchwork pants i love your patchwork pants don't ever say that again. Are they dead? Are they dead?

They're dead. Literally, we were doing a Who Memed It? And Bailey was like, I need a meme for today. And so I kind of like helped her out. And she came up with that because I was wearing those pants that day. So I don't actually wear those pants all the time. It just was we needed a meme for that day. I haven't seen you wear those pants in a long time.

Because they're gone. I feel like you do something and fans latch onto it so intense because what you do is so interesting to me. It's big. It's interesting. They take notice. So I should be proud of the things that I get attached to. I think the inside jokes, unfortunately, fans love it. But I will also say, over time, it always drifts away.

That's true. So we're just waiting for the new thing to attach. You dust the sand and you find you're my favorite pizza place way down there. And I have not heard it mentioned in years. It's coming back. You just brought it back. It's coming back. Right now they're saying Buff Shane, who's married to Courtney now.

Like that's the only comment. Oh, yeah. But in due time, that will also drift to the sand. That's what I wrote, though. I wrote Buff Shane is married to Courtney now. So it's your fault. And that is now my name. I'm going to have to clear a lot of people's names here it's gonna take me a lot of work but guys listen they're people who do a lot of different things let's

remember them for all the different things that they do and i think the solution here is time so thank you so much every time i think it's time. Comment something different about Tommy. Please. Actually, don't like that prompt. Let's just let it go by. I'm going to go. I'm going to go now. Don't comment anything. Well, don't comment about Tommy at all. Just stop thinking about me.

No, I don't mean that either. I got to go. Forget about Tommy. I got to go. No, don't. I got to go. Okay, bye, Tommy. Okay. Okay.

Wow. Where's that sand? Is that somewhere in the office that I can just push? Sand, where you dust it off and you find an old joke down there. Pizza place? You're like, wow. I didn't know people are doing Buff Shane is married to Courtney now. If you check the comments, sometimes.

Yeah. It's okay. I don't sometimes. That's good. Because I'm like, I felt good about that, and I'm going to leave feeling good about that. Sometimes I read the comments, though. Yeah. Sometimes they're fun.

I think the comments are usually pretty good. Sometimes they're hard. Sometimes they're good. I know. All right. Okay. Our next client. Oh, coming back.

Coming back. Nicole. Nicole. Her voice is not AI. No, it's not. I got that fixed already. What? Well, I went to the

No not anymore Update Okay Oh yeah Well that's separate From what I was about To talk about But I went to the

I went to the voice therapist And she was like You're already Can I say cunty here? Yeah We'll just bleep it She was like You're already too cunty

It's like fine And I was like Okay slay Alright fierce I love this Is this a voice therapist? Yeah I was a voice therapist I Yeah, I was a voice therapist. I need to go to a voice therapist just to hear that.

It was really stunning. Okay, I have like a LGBT-oriented problem. Is that, can y'all do like a little- Great, Shane is perfect. Hey, I'm here to help you out. I figured y'all would be like the perfect. We're perfect. To like solve this problem.

Yeah, that's okay. Shane will lead and then I'll step in. What's up? Do people doing a pod? I need a backwards baseball cap right now. Yeah, you gotta do. Podcast. Doing like a hey mama's lesbian moment.

With a backwards baseball cap. Okay. Okay, it starts with a story. And so I was at a gay bar in San Francisco. Great. With my gay best friend who I love so much, Antonio. And we see this straight couple playing a board game in the dance floor. And I was like, okay. In the dance floor.

Adjacent to the dance floor. Got it. It's like they were playing in a place that people could have been dancing. For sure. Heard people could have been dancing. And, you know, we're at a bar, right? So I'm a little emboldened. And I go over. We're like, what are y'all doing? What is this? What's happening? First of all. And then we're like, we're playing backgammon. We're like, okay, what

is that? I love backgammon so much. Well, because we're straight. Oh, yeah. I guess. Straight people love backgammon. I was like, I didn't know what that was at first. But anyway, I was just like, are you gay?

I just say that. I think it's a fair question. No, that's not wrong. I think it's great. But I think I offended them. I'm sorry, you said this is at a gay bar. In San Francisco. What I'm saying. You're in San Francisco at a gay bar. Well, yes.

Yes. How are they... How do you think they were offended? What did they say? So she turns to me, and she looks me in the eye, and she's like, you're terrified of me. What? What? And I was like, what? Okay, what the?

I was like, what are you saying? My gay best friend's like, let's go. Let's go. Let's just go get some Polaroids done. And I was like, what do you mean I'm afraid of you? I was like, what do you mean I'm afraid of you? I was like, what is happening? What? And in the Polaroid booth, and I actually have a visual representation here.

These are the actual Polaroids that we took. This is me and my best friend, Antonio. Okay. This is us in the first photo. And then the second photo, you can see in my face, I'm like, what did she just say? You're clearly deep in thought. Did she say that? And then we kiss.

That's so cute. I'm always kissing my gay boys. I love that. You too. You'll kiss your gay boys as well. I love kissing my gay boys. I love kissing my gay boys. So you didn't get to follow up on that.

Did you go back? They were gone. They were gone immediately? Oh, yeah. Did you go back? They were gone. They were gone immediately? They packed up their backgammon board? I scared them out of the gay bar. Nicole, Nicole, Nicole. Nicole, Nicole. By asking if they were gay.

Okay, so you're afraid of me doesn't feel like the right response to that at all. How old is this establishment? Do you know how old this building is? This is established. This is called El Rio. This is established. This is more like queer, not just like gay guy oriented. This is like queer bar.

Do you know how old the building is? Oh, I don't know. I don't know about that. Because you have two random people playing backgammon in an area they shouldn't be playing backgammon in. Nicole, I think you came face to face with ghosts. I think these are ghosts from a different era because you walk up and you say, hey, are you gay? And they turn and they just go, you're afraid of me. And then they disappear.

I think we're dealing with something far grander than straight people here. As a person who loves playing backgammon in bars, never in the dancing area, ever, I would, if someone asked me if I was gay, I would love it. But backgammon doesn't mean you're a ghost.

Look, if I walk into a gay bar and someone asks me if I'm gay, I'm gonna be like, hey, fair question. Hey, fair question. You know what, pal? Hey, fair question. Hey, you know what? Checkmate.

I'm gay as they come. I'm Shane. I'm Shane. I'm gay. Here's my advice. Great. Okay's my advice. Great. Okay, thank you. Here's my reverse.

Here's the advice that I need. When I do see straight people or ghosts in the future at a gay bar, can I not ask if they're gay? I think you absolutely can. I think that girl felt really insecure and scared. And so she turned it on you in the fearful way.

I was like, I'm not scared. She wanted to ruffle your feathers. But clearly you ruffled them because it takes a second to pack up backgammon. Let me tell you that. They were gone. And this was just in the Polaroid. It takes time. They were gone.

Lots of pieces. Yeah. So you scared them off. I think you can absolutely go up to anyone at a gay bar and ask if they're time. Yeah. They were gone. Lots of pieces. Yeah. So you scared them off. I think you can absolutely go up to anyone at a gay bar and ask if they're gay. Okay. Thank you. All right. Just want to.

Do you agree? I fully agree. Even if they're ghosts. I think if someone is at a gay bar and they're offended by that question, they need to leave. Yeah. Because it's like, what are you? Also, as a backgammon player, guys, don't play it on the dance floor. Yeah.

It's unacceptable. Come on. I know. I know. But I'm 100% certain they're ghosts. Okay. That's a good, okay, I like that. I like that conclusion.

I wish you brought them into the Polaroid thing so we could actually see them. Not in the picture. Not in the picture. No, actually, they're like way in the back of this. Your face in that second photo is hilarious. You are clearly having an existential crisis. I love it.

I love it. Oh, man. Wow. I hope, I mean, look, I don't know I love it. Oh, man. Wow. Well, I hope, I mean, look, I don't know if I hope you see them again. Like, I don't necessarily

want them to be back in there. No, I don't hope to. I don't hope to. I want you to dance and feel free and not worry about them. Exactly. Right, yeah.

Exactly. Well, I'm going to be thinking about this a lot. Okay. So. I'm glad I made an impact. Yeah, me too. I'm not going to bring back him

in a lot of places because people might ask if you're gay. And that is absolutely fine with me. Yeah. Well, me too. I'm not going to bring back him in a lot of places because people might ask if you're gay. And that is absolutely fine with me. Yeah. I'll tell him. All right. All right, thanks, Nicole. Thank you, Nicole.

We really helped. I think we really helped. I think we really helped in that situation. As a backgammon player and a straight guy. I've got to be honest. Well, I think with this LGBTQ issue, we really brought it. We brought it, guys.

Finally, Selena. What? Who's gonna be running the time? I am. Right here. Oh my God, she's gonna do her own time on her own self.

Yeah. Wow. It's still running. Okay, Selena. Are you our last? No. Okay, good. I'm not last. Good, good, good. I'm not last. We got some... I don't want it to end. We got some folks our last? No. Okay, I'm not last.

Good, good, good. I'm not last. I don't want it to end. We got some folks coming. Okay. But I come here today to ask. I just moved in with my partner. Ooh!

This is the first time I'm living with a partner. Wow! And everything's going fine. Everything's going great. I just, it's a me problem. It's a, it's a, I like, I, I like, I like MySpace. I like how. It's a great website.

Get, get out of here. So lame. No. No? No. That was a good joke. It was. I gotta give it to him. Sorry.

Okay, you like MySpace and your space. And Facebook and all that stuff. No, I like MySpace. I like how I decorate everything. And I like how I do stuff. I like how I do stuff. And how do I compromise? And live with someone else? First of all, having your own space in your space

is not a you problem. I like that too and I think it's very important to protect that. You can absolutely have your own independent space in your space you're sharing with a person. As far as like decorating the the common area that is tricky it does have to be a compromise it does have to compromise have to like you just have to find things that you both resonate with yeah both

like or if it's like a painting that you really love you maybe fight for it and they're like okay well for the most part he's like he doesn't care what goes in the space and then we also have a third roommate who's also a guy so i'm just like okay so i'm just gonna take over the whole space and like make it how i want it to be but then the guilt sets in of like well are they saying anything like we don't like this they're not saying anything no so the issue you're having is the guilt you're feeling of decorating the space. Oh, yeah. Don't, because I wouldn't, if they're,

listen, you could check in with them. Hey guys, I'm gonna do this wall, or hey guys, I'm gonna hang this up, or hey guys, and if they're like, yeah sure, whatever. Then great. Absolutely. Then do it. Yeah, if you are asking and they're saying yes,

then that means that you guys all agreed to it. Then that is the compromise. Oh, you moved in and there's nothing on the walls, huh? Well, we still have one room. No, he moved into my space because I like my space. Okay. Right. But there's one room, there's nothing in it yet.

And I'm like, well, it's technically his room, his room. But I'm like, it's technically his his room his room but like i'm like i don't know we gotta figure this out is this a bedroom or is it it's a bedroom okay or office we're gonna like you know a little bit of both so are you feeling a little bit like he's like oh i don't i don't really care and you're like well i care i want to get this space ready okay then that matters to you yeah and maybe like okay then that matters to you and maybe like you bring that up to him and he kind of compromises and you work on it together

but if he is straight up like I don't care what you do you can decorate it as much as you want then there you go and maybe you put one picture of him in a tiny corner you don't need to feel guilty about that okay cool I know it's your first time living with someone but like as long as you're in a tiny corner. You don't need to feel guilty about that.

I know it's your first time living with someone, but as long as you're communicating that you want to get that room going, trust me, I get that. Just be like, it's really important for me to start decorating that room. Cool. And then is there any general advice you guys have for first time living with someone?

Do your dishes. Big deal. First time living with someone do your dishes big deal uh first time living with someone i would ask like what like if they're acting weird there could be something that's upsetting them in the house that they're not being up front with you about and just like getting to know that because once you live with a partner for a while you you start to see like what really bothers them. Yeah. And it's better to not be like in the kitchen slamming things. It's better to be like, hey, that bothered me when you didn't blah, blah, blah. But that to me takes time.

If it's a flat or a squeal, a wobble or peel, your dread's worn down or you need a new wheel. Wherever you go, you can get a pro at Dread Experts. Conquer rugged terrain with on-road comfort. Until June 15th, receive up to $60 on a prepaid MasterCard when you purchase Kumo RoadVenture AT52 tires. Find a Kumo Tread Experts dealer near you at treadexperts.ca slash locations. From tires to auto repair, we're always there, treadexperts.ca.

Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy? That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies. Ritual is aiming to set a new standard with their essential prenatal multivitamin. It's the number one best-selling prenatal and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Moms taking Essential Prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal. Plus, it's designed to be gentle on the stomach.

Ritual doesn't just have your back. They have the receipts. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Yeah, I think the little things can add up. And so you just need to communicate about them. And it's like, I know you're such an organized person.

And if your partner is not quite as organized in specific areas. But it's just like coming to an agreement of like, oh, I don't care if you need me to organize the drawers sometimes. I can do that. That's no problem. But maybe I need if you can help me with this or this. Yeah. Just having those agreements across the board.

Yeah. Is like huge. Just to communicate about them. Right. Is big. Because I think over time, people kind of neglect those little things.

Yeah. And then they do build up and then suddenly you get years down the line and like I think that's how resentment can build amongst people is because they haven't

talked about it. Yeah. Yeah. So. I think you'll feel better if you just like communicate about that room cool and then start working on it but it is more fun to like do it together but if you want to do it and he's cool with that again i have a whole pinterest board already that's awesome but i do think it's fun to go like i think it'd be fun for you guys to go like shopping or like

go to like a thrifting thrift store or flea market together and find a couple items together. So it's like, we both got this and have this here. So it is a shared space. Agreed. And it has a little bit of a story to it. I guess. It's okay.

It'll all start to make sense once you live with them for a little bit. You just started. It can be a little shocking at first. Okay. Thanks, guys. Thanks guys. Thanks Selena. Wow. Big stuff. That one we do know.

It's a big deal. Yeah. I've been on like eight years living with someone. Wow. Wow. Alright. Our next oh next up. We have a Colin.

I was like, why are we getting shown the iPad right now? We have a Colin? Yes. Okay. Okay. So one of our coworkers, Gareth, lives in South Africa. South Africa. So he operates, he's on like a complete opposite time schedule as us.

Like when it's day, it's night for him. It's night. But he sent us a video with an issue he has. Hey, what's up? It's Gareth. Thank you, Shane and Amanda, for hearing out my problems. I appreciate it. Thank you for also taking this video submission.

As I cannot be there, traffic is just a nightmare. So I do appreciate it. So my problem is as follows so I'm an uncle my nephew is about six months old and he's a chill little guy he's just a chill cutie patootie as I might say now on my sister's side his mother

I am the only uncle right there's just the two of us but on his father's side there's I'm sorry he is kicking his feet up I couldn't I was like who's that woman it took me little feet are. He is kicking his feet up. I couldn't. I was like, who's that woman? It took me a second to realize he's kicking his feet up with glee. He's like, I'm an uncle.

I'm an uncle. Cutie patootie. Okay. Okay. Five different onsen uncles. Now, my problem, how do I become the best uncle? The alpha uncle,, my problem, how do I become the best uncle? You know, like the alpha uncle, if you will.

How do I assert my dominance? That's what I'm trying to get at. Because you get into that age where he's now, I mean, he's six months, where he's starting to recognize faces and he's starting to really interpret the world and start familiarizing himself with the environment and with the people around him.

Now, how do I make myself the top dog, the top uncle out of all his aunts and uncles? So any advice, any tips? That would be sick. So, thank you so much. This is his feet. God, what a cutie pie

Cutie patootie Little cutie patootie So he wants to be an alpha He wants to be the top uncle He wants to He's talking about Now what I need is more info On the other aunts and uncles

Yeah You know I'm like What's your competition looking like Yeah like are they also Wanting to be the alpha Exactly Cause you do not Want to compete For a child's love let me tell

you it's too hard it's too tough uncles are hard like to be to be the best uncle best aunt when you're competing it's hard it's tough sometimes you have to take a back seat it also could shift over time right like you know as the years go on like maybe when they're really young you're not the cool uncle but suddenly they're there once they're like maybe once they're adults they're gonna think you're like a really cool uncle like later on you know it's you got a lot of time there i would say six months you know you got some time for them to really settle in i would say the coolest i would say to me the coolest aunts and uncles were the ones that were like hey whatever happens whatever you get in trouble with you can call me and I'll be there.

Like, they keep your secrets for you. Wow. But, you know, this baby's six months. It's not going, it's not driving yet. I don't know what to tell them other than like, yeah, it evolves every year. You know, like what you, what it takes to be the coolest uncle is going to be different. Like, when they're five years old, like, it's just

being silly. Just being, doing some silly voices. But once they're, I mean, my nieces and nephews aren't teenagers yet, but it's like being silly just being doing some silly voices but once they're i mean my nieces and nephews aren't teenagers yet but it's like how am i going to be cool then i have no idea i don't think i have a chance that's really tough for you yeah but i also think for him he needs to be careful about like i don't think he should be the alpha by like buying gifts like no no no no i think it's time i literally think being the alpha is just like time and having a special relationship like the things that they do together again i don't think he needs to worry about it just yet you know what i think is an instant win for for kids and i think people

often don't realize this is being interested in what they're interested in yeah so a one-up that i have on like a lot of other relatives is like, so one of my nieces has been really into Pokemon. And so I come by and she's like, I'm really into Pokemon. I'm like, oh, cool. Which generation of Pokemon do you like the most? Oh, my God. And I'll get her some Pokemon cards. I'll be like, oh, sick.

That's a really rare one. That's awesome. Oh, you got a legendary. That's so sick. I know the stuff that she's into. And so she thinks I'm cool because I'm into that, too. And then like my other nephew playing Mario Party, I'm cool because I'm into that too. And then like my other nephew playing Mario Party, I'm like

I know a thing or two about Mario Party. Let me get in there, buddy. It's heartbreaking. The trailer for the new Mario Kart came out. No way! And it looks sick. What? I have to watch that.

Oh boy. I'm not going to sleep tonight. I'm going to watch it over and over. I don't think you realize who you're surrounded by in this room. And over and over. You are by yourself with this sarcasm. But you know what's tragic about this? What's tragic?

The new Mario Kart's coming out, and it's the one that I know I'm probably never gonna be able to beat him at. He's just too good. Wait, Shane, this is good because sometimes the uncle has to let the niece or nephew surpass him. I know, I know and it's time. And that's an alpha uncle. It's time. But I'm really good at all these games

so it's like, oh cool, like dude. I mean it's kind of like if you have an aunt or uncle who's like, I don't know, is also into true crime true crime you're like oh we share this interest i have one i think that's big is like whatever you're you're and i mean i think this goes for anyone with kids or nieces nephews uh whatever like showing interest in their interests is an instant win agreed because you honestly you just want to hang out with them yeah you It's hard to have the aunt or uncle is like, so, how's school going? It's the most common relative thing is just being like, ah, so what's the deal with all the stuff you got going on? Yeah.

They're not interested in what you're interested in. No, I still have an uncle who calls my sister on my birthday and is like, happy birthday. Sorry, last thing. I know we have our next client, but it was what also made my... My grandma was always really fun to hang out and like such a beloved part of our family because she was so into sports. So like she was like in her 80s, but you could just riff on football for hours with her. And she knew like everything.

What? It was awesome. See, that's so good. Like having shared interests is just so fun. And that's how you be an alpha. That's right. But don't be too alpha. No.

All right. Our next client, we have Kimberly here. Kimberly! Or Kim. Do you ever go by Kim? Yes, all the time. You mainly go by Kim. Yeah.

Right? So my little problem is, so I am having a wedding very soon. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Congrats? Yeah. Congratulations. Oh, my God. I don't think wedding very soon. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. Congrats? Yeah. Congratulations. Oh, my God.

I don't think I knew that. Yeah. God, we suck. No, it's okay. No, I'm stupid. No, we suck. We suck. Is your problem that we're stupid?

Podcasters, man. No, so my wedding is going to be here in California. Yay. But I am from Texas, and the majority of my family is in Texas. And I just want advice on, like, okay, they've been kind of, like, giving me remarks, like, hey, like, you know, why didn't you have it in Texas? Like, it would have been cheaper. As they do.

It would have been closer. And I feel kind of bad. So I guess I wanted to ask you guys as two people who have gotten married and have had to deal with weddings and stuff. What's your advice on how to deal with all the family opinions that come with weddings? Do you have enough time for this? I will say as someone who got married here and all my family lives on the East Coast, the biggest thing my sister told me is she was like, you cannot worry

about the family opinions because at the end of the day, it's going to be you and your partner looking at those pictures. It's going to be you and your partner looking at those videos. It's going to be you and your partner who want to visit the place you got married. I get to go visit the place anytime I want because I also got married in California. I think what people really want when they give you a bunch of opinions, the best thing that I did is I gave them a job to do for the wedding.

I literally was like, I totally get it. It's so hard. So I'd love some help on the invitations. So they could feel like they were okay. They were now a part of this new thing. I also think getting married on like, you know, kind of separate territory allows for you to have more like control over what you want on that day. That's true. Do you know what I mean?

We're also having a lot of people fly in, period. Because my partner is from Singapore, so it's like a lot of flying in. Okay. And I thought that was like a fair ground. Wait, it is a fair ground. I think that actually makes total sense then. So it is kind of equal.

I mean, flying from Texas is a little bit easier than flying from Singapore. I mean, yeah. You're fine. You're literally fine. Literally. I would say, yeah, when it comes to a wedding, if you're going to start worrying about everyone, you're going to. You're never going to have a wedding that you want.

It's impossible. It's just actually impossible. It's too many people. And I don't know. I learned this more from our Reddit show than anything. I don't know what weddings do to people, but family members on weddings. It makes them nuts.

I don't know. It's like a full moon for werewolves. It's just like. I think because they want to be involved. They want to have a job. And I'm telling you, especially like mothers of the brides, like they are texting you constantly.

And the best thing I did was delegate actual projects that they could do separate that didn't involve me. And that really helped. And also tell them you'll live stream anyone who doesn't want to get on an airplane. I totally get it. Like we had to live stream 30 people from Belarus, like 30 people watched it. So it's like there are ways to do it. But at the end of the day,

it is your wedding. You are going to be the one looking at those photos and remembering that day the most. And you're a kind and respectful person, but the decisions you're making

are final. You're the one, you and your fiancé are the ones making those decisions, and that's it. So when you make your decisions, you should just feel confident

in them, and if people give you flack for it, just be like, that's a decision I made. It's my wedding. But it's hard. It's you make your decisions, you should just feel confident in them. And if people give you flack for it, just be like, that's a decision I made. It's my wedding. But it's hard. It's so hard. Trust me.

I think it's also because I come from a Hispanic family and weddings are so big. Big. And you invite everyone. And I'm like, Mom, I can't invite so-and-so and so-and-so. No, I know. Mine was supposed to be cousins and then the cousin's baby and then this guy's plus one. And then it was going to be like a 500-person wedding. All the Red Sox. All the Red Sox were going to be like cousins and then their cousin's baby and then this guy's plus one. And then it was going to be like a 500-person wedding. All the Red Sox.

All the Red Sox were going to be there. It was actually going to be sick. And then we were like, we can't get married on Fenway, which was crazy. No, I'm kidding. How big was your wedding? How many people? 42. And my sisters were like, how dare you?

I had to invite all these people. And I was like, I just said no. That's kind of it. It's tough, though. It is tough. It's very, very hard, though. Yeah. Thank you. But it'll be good. It'll be good for you to... It's going to be okay. Yeah, congratulations.

It's going to be a great day. Thank you, guys. Congrats! Wow. Wow. Weddings. yeah. Congrats. Wow. Wow. Weddings. Okay. Our next client. Ooh.

Wow. Who is it, Shane? It is Matt Duran. Why does it feel so cold in here? Oh, no. Why am I shivering? Why am I shivering? Dude, that's a sick shirt.

Thank you. I thrifted it. Ah, damn. Sick. People always have the coolest shit, and they're like, oh, I found it at the thrift store. sick shirt. Thank you. I thrifted it. Sick! People always have the coolest shit, and they're like, oh, I found it at the thrift store. And I'm like, why do I not have that? I don't have that kind of luck. I don't have that kind of luck either. God.

You gotta go through everything. Yeah. See, that's what I don't have. Patience. Yeah. And go early. I know. Going early is what I have.

Yeah. Anyways, Duran. Duran, are you here for something completely unrelated from last time? I hope so. I wish I was, man. I've got other problems, but I keep coming back for a specific thing. Okay. I think you know what it is.

Yeah. And I get a lot of promises from the both of you. Yeah, yeah. Sorry about that. Yeah. Resurrect my dad from the dead. That's what I said. Yeah, I said I would resurrect your dad. You saidrect my dad from the dead. That's what I said. Yeah, I said I would resurrect your dad.

You said that and here we are. It's Easter. That's why Arasha was here? That's why she was dressed up. The pee thing was all... It was just a ruse. That's Duran's dad? Risen?

Okay, sorry, what? That's Jesus all of a sudden. But last time I was here, I mentioned that the cemetery website said that his plot had been removed. Yeah. And Shane, I don't know if you remember this, but you said you would call the cemetery

to find out what happened. Yeah. I did say that. And you can still say no, but I'm hoping that maybe we can get some results and you can legitimately call the cemetery on my behalf and find out what happened. I have the information right here, the plot ID number,

and the number to the cemetery. I am so nervous. I am so happy I'm over here. You are so fucked. Dude. You can say no. Yes, and I will call them. There you go.

Okay. There's the number. Okay. Okay, so what should he say? Should he say? Should he say he's like your lawyer? You could be a representative, I guess. That would, I think, hold up in court, maybe.

You could say that you're me. I could say that I'm you. Because they're probably going to want it to be. I can't just call and inquire about some random. It'd be weird to be like, I'm Shayne Taw from Smosh. You should say you're Duran. Okay. Maybe they would let you if you're like, yeah, I'm from Smosh. No, don't say that.

Maybe you'll get a fan on the other line. No, no, don't say that. Okay. Just say you're Duran. Don't say that. I'm going to call. You got to put the phone up to the mic. Yeah, I'm going to put on speaker.

I'm sorry. My heart is racing right now. Comico Cemetery, how may I help you? Hi, my name is Matt Duran. I'm calling in regarding plot number 8754 section D, lot 101. I checked the website

recently and it says the plot was removed. But I want to know what happened to it. Can you just do that? Sure thing. Can I get that plot from you one more time, the name and the number? You don't need to give me the name.

Well, it's section D, lot 101. I believe I said 5782. It's a little, it's written a little weird there. Can you slow down for me? I'm sorry, what did you say? Uh, yeah, it's just, it's, my name is Matt Duran, I'm calling, my father's plot is, it's, the website says that it's missing it's, my name is Matt Duran, I'm calling my father's plot is

it's, the website says that it's missing that it was removed and I just want to know, like, why would you do that? Well, we wouldn't just remove a plot, sir, there would be a reason for us to remove the plot so the only way that you can know this is if maybe somebody

came and picked them up Came and picked them up? Came and picked them up? Do you have any details? Do you have any further details on that? This is my father's plot. The website says that it's just not listed anymore. And I'm a little confused because you can't just do that.

Right? Like, this is a cemetery plot. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm really sorry to hear about this. It's been a long time, so, you know, it's, like, thank you, but, like, you know, this is the second time, like, you know, it's like a second loss, so a little messed up here.

Sir, hold on. You know, respectfully, respectfully, you have one job. Sir, I understand. I understand, sir. I'm seeing here, my records are showing that somebody came and picked up his remains on September 23rd, 2011. What? It would be to next of kin.

I am the next of kin. Did you come on September 2011? No, I didn't. You didn't come? Okay, well then maybe somebody else on the contact list for this individual came and picked them up. You don't have a name list? Like, I mean, I don't understand. I don't understand.

I can't tell you that information, sir. This is very confidential information here. Yeah, I would assume so. I mean, but this is... You would have to come in person if you wanted to get some more information, so I can verify who you are in relation to... My name is Matt Duran. Okay.

And I'm losing my fucking mind right now that you would do this. There's no way for me to know that, Matt Duran. And I'm losing my fucking mind right now that you would do this. Yes, it is. Are you not the funeral director at this place? You're a case supervisor? No, I'm not. I'm not believing anything you say. I don't think you. I don't think you...

I can't just take your word for it, okay? Break it down. I'm sorry your dad is gone, but I can't just take your word for it, okay? I'm a case supervisor. I'm doing what I can. You're a case supervisor? Can I speak to the funeral director? Can I speak to someone who has... Why do you want to speak to my director?

Why do you want to speak to him? Because my dad's missing, alright? And you're sitting here talking some bullshit at me. And I... Here, sir. Here, Matt Duran. Why don't you take this name down? Here, I'll give you my key supervisor's name.

Are you ready? Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, his first name is Craig. Craig? Yes, and his last name is Ligma. Did you get that? Craig Ligma? Craig Ligma, yeah.

Craig Ligma is his name. Give him a call. Okay. I'm gonna call back over here. Okay. Craig Ligma. Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna call him, alright?

You know what? I'm gonna call whoever I need to and get you fucking fired. I'm gonna be putting you in the fucking ground, okay? Jesus Christ. What? Matt Duran was your name? Yeah, Matt Duran.

You better fucking remember it, okay? Yeah. Sure thing. Go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Go and fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. Pick him up? Yeah, right. go fuck yourself pick them up yeah right

yeah whatever thanks Marcus alright fucking A I'm sorry I tried my best dude I don't I can't believe that I was at first like I'm sorry. I tried my best, dude. I can't believe that happened. I was at first like, you needed to cool it. But did you hear him?

You got so worked up. He's working. This is my father. Honestly, that was very overwhelming for me. I'm not involved, but I was very overwhelmed. How are you, Matt? I'm shaking. Matt, I'm really sorry.

So it didn't go well? I don't think it went too well. I don't think that went as I thought it was going to go. So 2011? 2011, someone came and picked him up. That's what he said. That's what he said. That's what Marcus said? That's what, that's what,

that's, I don't know who that was. That was the suit case. What was the name? Craig? Craig Ligma. Is the manager? Explain that to me. Amanda, I'm not doing this again.

Well. Well What's going on with you? Me? Where is your father? Does that ring a bell? If someone came and picked him up? It would make sense that he'd be with next of kin Which would probably be my mom. Have you talked to your mom about this?

That's the thing is that makes sense why I didn't hear any updates because my mom is also really bad at communicating. Okay, okay, okay. Because I could not go down that road. I could not. I was not prepped. Yeah, we're terrible communicators. Do you want me to call your mom? I think I could call my down that road. I could not. I was not prepped. Yeah. We're terrible communicators.

Do you want me to call your mom? I think I could call my mom. Okay. For sure. The way you treated that worker. Yeah. I don't think you should talk to anyone of his family. That's probably fair.

Yeah. And now this cemetery somewhere is just like, they hate me. Now they're going to know your number. I don't feel bad. Man, you got really upset. It was really cool to see you kind of defend my honor. Yeah, that was cool. No, I cared.

I cared. It was really cool. I mean, this is serious. Yeah. And he needs to take his job more seriously. They have case supervisors at a funeral home? You asked for the funeral director. I know.

I'm like, why am I talking to this idiot? Yeah, totally. They're busy directing funerals. Exactly. I know. I'm like, why am I talking to this idiot? Yeah, totally. They're busy directing funerals. Exactly. I guess that's true. Wow. So did we solve it? No, you didn't, once again.

Yeah. But I can call my mom. Call your mom. Call your mom. I can call my mom. And then let us know if she has the body. Will do. Your father.

Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'll work on the resurrection. Yeah. Keep working on it. I'll work on it. A lot of crystals I need to get. Well.

Are you okay? Because you like flipped out. Well, you know, I mean, sometimes, you know, you got to do what you got? No. Because you like flipped out. Well, you know, I mean, sometimes, you know, you got to do what you got to do. Right? No, no, no. We're here to solve people's problems. Hey, I fully support you. Exactly.

I thought it was totally fine. I just didn't know we were going to. Just get into it. You were going to go. No. So far. No, I know. Six feet under.

Exactly. I almost told him. I was like, hey, you know what? I actually think the ending of that show sucked. I loved the ending of that show. It's considered the best ending of any show ever. But I wanted to tell him to. I wanted him to feel pain.

You can call him back. Yeah, I will. Well, I don't think we hit bingo. We did not hit bingo, but we definitely made people's lives so much better. We improved the lives of so many people here today. I think this episode was filled with positivity. Such positivity. We did what we needed to do.

As licensed people, we really solved their problems. Exactly. I'm proud of us. I'm proud of us, too. Maybe we'll do it again. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. All right. Yeah, if people want that. Exactly. I'm proud of us. I'm proud of us, too. Maybe we'll do it again. Yeah, maybe. Yeah. All right.

Yeah, if people want that. Sure. If you ask for it, we'll do it. All right. All right. All right. Bye. Bye.

You can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve. Ritual's Essential Prenatal Multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Did you know that many products for pregnant women do not have their own clinical trials for safety or efficacy? That's because pregnant women are often excluded from clinical studies.

Ritual is aiming to set a new standard with their essential prenatal multivitamin. It's the number one best-selling prenatal and the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Moms taking essential prenatal had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy than those taking a leading prenatal. Plus, it's designed to be gentle on the stomach. Ritual doesn't just have your back. They have the receipts. Get 25% off at ritual.com slash clinical.

These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. You can't rely on blind faith to get the pregnancy support you deserve. Ritual's Essential Prenatal Multivitamin is the only leading prenatal backed by its own human clinical trial. Essential Prenatal is proven to deliver key nutrients, including folate, biotin, and vitamin D during pregnancy. Get 25% off when you visit ritual.com slash clinical. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration.

This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.