Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - Congratulations Are In Order! | Reading Reddit Stories
Episode Date: November 30, 2024You did it! You clicked another Reddit video! Head to https://www.FACTORMEALS.com/pitreddit50 and use code pitreddit50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next month. 0:00 Intro 2:18 I fa...ked an eye injury, ruining my bday party https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1c2d4pg/aita_for_faking_a_serious_eye_injury_making_my/ 7:50 We won’t throw her a bachelorettes if we’re not invited to the wedding https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1f86iij/wibta_if_i_tell_my_friend_her_bridesmaids_wont_be/ 20:44 I left during my wife’s labor https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/i7tiy9/aita_for_leaving_during_my_wifes_labor/ 34:35 I didn’t get the same bridesmaid dress https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/comments/1g6d620/aita_for_not_getting_the_same_dress_as_the_other/ 48:39 I refused to attend my mom’s renaissance themed party https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1bbfsww/aita_for_refusing_to_attend_my_moms_renaissance/ 56:11 My friend didn’t recognize my kid thus ruining her marriage https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1g6pcee/aita_for_teasing_my_friend_about_not_recognizing/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Chanse McCrary // https://www.instagram.com/phatchanse/ Angela Giarratana // https://www.instagram.com/angelagiovanagiarratana/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Emily Rose Jacobson Editor: Rock Coleman Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Emily Rose Jacobson Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Bailey Petracek Production Designer: Cassie Vance Art Director: Erin Kuschner Assistant Art Director: Josie Bellerby Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar Prop Master: Courtney Chapman Art Intern: Abby Schmidt Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Camera Operator: James Hull Assistant Director: Alexcina Figueroa Executive Vice President of Production: Amanda Barnes Production Manager: Alexcina Figueroa Production Coordinator: Zianne Hoover Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Quincy Bell Production Intern: Caroline Smith Post Production Manager: Luke Baker DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran IT: Tim Baker Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Director of Social Media: Erica Noboa Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Merchandising Manager: Mallory Myers Social Media Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Social Media Intern: Mailyn Stiffler Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia Operations PA: Katie Fink CEO: Alessandra Catanese EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Coordinator Producer of Programming: Marcus Munguia Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Hello, welcome to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is all about parties, celebrations,
and you name it. We've got weddings, we've got all sorts of stuff today.
And I am joined by two of my friends, Angela and Chance.
Woohoo!
Woohoo!
These are obviously gonna be celebrations gone wrong.
Oh.
Oh, it's not like happy ending.
The nature of these stories are rarely just like,
and everything's good and everyone's happy.
Yeah.
This is not a wholesome episode.
Oh. I don't believe.
So, have you been at parties or celebrations
that have gone wrong?
Absolutely. Absolutely.
My family threw me a surprise birthday party
for my 16th birthday at Bubba Gump,
and I hate attention when I can't control it.
And I walked in there, saw everyone, threw a fit,
started screaming, and ran out.
And you didn't come back?
No, then my dad had to go get me.
Where did you go?
Oh, I was just a teenager and I was crying outside
and I was like, I don't want this!
I hate this!
I hate this!
Cause it was all my mom's friends
and it wasn't my friends.
She got like two friends from my school,
but then the rest was like my cousins.
And I was like, I don't want to do this.
I don't like attention.
And then my dad was trying to calm me down
and the waitress thought my dad was hurting me
cause I was like, get off me!
Get off me!
No, I made a bad celebration.
It's hard to imagine you throwing a fit like that.
Yeah, I was a crazy teen.
I was screaming.
Wow.
Yeah.
Chance?
I've been to a couple surprise parties
where the couple shows up.
They're both, two different couples,
but they were obviously fighting
right before the surprise party,
right before the surprise part,
and they came into the door,
and it was just, you could tell
that they did not want the party.
They did not want to see people
and they had to sit through the party.
And then one of the parties that I went to
where that happened, they did end up leaving halfway through.
They were just, they couldn't stop butting heads.
Oh, really awkward.
Yikes.
But hey, there was drinks, there was food.
At least there was that.
I was having a good time.
Okay, well let's get into these stories.
First one, am I the asshole for faking a serious eye injury,
making my mom faint, and ruining my birthday party?
So this happened at Bubba Gump.
I'm just.
All right, my mom thinks the height of humor is to smash me
and my siblings' faces into our birthday cakes.
I have no idea why, but it amuses her
to smash our faces into birthday cakes.
I just turned 15 and I told her that if she planned
to do that to me again, I would rather not have a cake
or even a party.
She promised that she would not do it
and she was upset that I threatened to not attend
if she planned it without that promise.
I knew she was lying because I know her,
so I made a plan with my friends.
One of them does cosplay and helped me out
with a very basic trick.
The other two that were there were there to play along
and make it worse.
When my mom smashed my face into the cake,
as expected, I screamed like I was shot.
I took the patch I had in my hand
and pulled my face away from the cake
and put my hand on my eye.
The patch had a stub of candle that stuck out
between my fingers and some fake blood.
My friends came to the rescue and I screamed
that I couldn't see out of that eye.
One of them looked under my hand and pretended
to have to go to the bathroom to throw up.
My mom literally fainted.
Once that happened, I called off the joke pretty quickly.
I showed everyone that it was just a joke,
but the day was wrecked.
There was fake blood everywhere,
and someone had called an ambulance,
which was good because we ended up needing it for my mom.
I didn't get in trouble because I showed my dad the text
showing that my mom had promised not to do the cake thing.
But my mom is pissed that I made her look bad
and like a liar because I showed everyone the text
because they were all mad at me to begin with.
I think that if she hadn't lied,
then nothing would have happened.
So this is all on her.
I love the receipts!
Justice!
It is!
You said you wouldn't, you did, now you faint, bitch.
That's so funny.
That's so good, and it's so thought out,
it's Megamind shit, and I'm all about it.
And if you really wanted to up that prank one more level,
when the mom came to, they should have been like,
you've been in a coma for five years.
No, I mean, she really did just reverse the prank on her mom.
This is so funny.
To a pretty powerful level,
but she did say don't do this and the mom did it, so.
That's what she gets.
That's what she gets.
And there is like risk,
like you can't just shove someone's face in shit.
I know fainting's scary,
but it's so funny to think about something happening
as someone going,
oh, oh.
Like what, remember?
She faints perfectly into the cake.
Yeah, Damien during a betrayal, he had blood in his mouth.
What if we fainted?
Do you remember that time?
He had a blood capsule in his mouth?
Yes, I do remember that.
Yeah.
Yes, I do.
Memories.
Yeah, that's nice.
Yeah.
What I will say is also, do they have a second cake? Yeah, that's that's nice. Yeah
What I will say is also do they have a second cake no
You trash the cake you smash her if someone's facing the cake. I'm not eating that cake. No one's eating that cake Yeah, you're wasting the cake. That's such a way. They don't mention a second cake. No, but I don't know no
I don't think I I'm not a huge fan of the smashing someone's face into a cake. Yeah, it can it be funny
Sure, if everyone's cool with it.
Isn't it a thing for weddings too,
to put it on their faces?
Apparently some people do that,
but only if people are laughing and want to do it.
Yeah.
Like, put cake on my face.
It's not, yeah.
Hey, do it, do it, please.
Put the icing on my chin.
Someone please do it.
Ha ha ha. Oh honey.
Yes!
Yes!
Some comments.
You didn't make her look like a liar.
She did that herself.
Someone else said, not the asshole.
Smashing someone's face in the cake
is classic narcissist behavior.
It turns the focus back on them
while taking the person being celebrated down a peg.
Her reaction is typical of a cornered narcissist as well
I love it as a mother
I honestly cannot wrap my mind around how any parent would could be this casually cruel to their children
You're not the asshole, but your mother is fucking awful. I would never speak to her again. What an absolute bitch, okay?
She should
Fucking tell your mom yeah, that's that maybe take a little bit to never speak to your mom again
That might be a little too much. We don't know we don't know enough about this relationship
I mean, here's the thing I I love my mom so much, but I did grow up and
Birthdays me my brother's birthdays were also a little bit her celebration like she would always throw surprise parties because she loved it
Like when we were kids it would be like a big theme that we would pick it
But it was like it some parents like really enjoy that and sometimes get a little carried away
I I agree, but this also seems like someone who laughs when people fall you know what I mean like yeah
Yeah, you just absolutely lose me when someone. Like black people's misery. Yeah.
You just absolutely lose me when someone's like, hey, please don't do that.
And then you do it.
100%.
And you say, I will not do that.
That's a breach of trust.
Yeah, that's absolutely crazy.
Yeah, and it's your child.
They're 15.
Yeah.
A 15-year-old daughter.
Like, just like anyone who's like at that age, 15, it's like, man, if they're saying don't do something,
just don't do it, man.
Like that age, everything feels like catastrophe.
Like don't bully your kid.
Yeah, it's their birthday.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, she fainted.
Good.
So fuck her.
It's so funny.
Woo!
I hope she failed to.
Move on to our next story.
So this is a hypothetical. They're about to potentially
I don't usually like this because this is fake. No, it's not fake. It's not it didn't happen
It's just that they're planning on doing something. I know okay
Would I be the asshole if I tell my friend her in quotations?
bridesmaids won't be throwing her an extensive bachelorette party if we aren't invited to the wedding.
If we, we will find out.
The bridesmaids.
The bridesmaids won't be throwing her.
This girl wants, I'm guessing this girl wants a
bachelorette and is gonna like a lope or something.
Okay, so I, 27 year old woman, am friends with Jane,
28 year old woman.
Jane and her fiance Brad, who's 29, recently got engaged.
Jane is one of my best friends
and we have known each other since college.
When talking about our future weddings,
Jane has always expressed that she wants me
and a handful of our other closest friends
to be her bridesmaids and to have a destination wedding.
When I saw Jane and Brad the day they got engaged,
one of the first things Jane said to me
was how excited she was for me and our other friend to be her bridesmaids.
This was about a month ago.
However, now that Jane and Brad have started
looking at wedding planning,
they have decided to have a tiny destination wedding
in Colorado, and only their immediate family
will be invited to save money.
They also plan on having a casual party
for all the rest of their family and friends after,
but there will be no ceremony or sit-down dinner,
and there will very clearly not be a second wedding.
Even though I was disappointed and hurt to hear that I would not be invited to the actual
wedding, I understand that it is their right to have whatever kind of wedding they want,
and if it is not important to her that her best friends be there, that's her choice.
But what irked me is that Jane still expects a bridal shower, a long weekend trip to an
expensive destination
for her bachelorette party,
and mentioned a registry for wedding gifts.
I find it a bit ridiculous
that she still expects to have these things thrown by
and presumably paid for by the people
that aren't even invited to the actual wedding.
She still insists on calling us her bridesmaids,
but since we will not be present at the wedding
and will have no special designation
at the party, I don't see how we actually are.
Our friends are a bit split on what to do about this.
Some want to confront her about this.
Some think that would be an asshole move.
So would I be the asshole for telling Jane that if she's not having a traditional wedding,
she can't expect traditional wedding benefits?
Edit.
I think a few people are misunderstanding my point here.
I'm not saying I don't want to celebrate her at all or that she shouldn't get anything outside of her wedding. Edit. Invitation to the wedding she could throw any kind of backyard Courthouse big small whatever wedding and I would be happy to do all of the above as long as I was actually
invited
Who why is Scottsdale?
You can get a really big Airbnb in Scottsdale, okay, and there's so much land and there's pool
I guess depending on the time of year, it's gonna be warm or something.
I think what it is maybe that she's feeling is like,
there's an expectation.
Like, there's a lot of work.
There's a lot of work in being a bridesmaid.
I only know this from secondhand.
It's a lot of work to be, and then it's like,
okay, but I'm part of this ceremony,
I'm part of this wedding, so I'm putting in this work.
It's kind of a, and so it's like,
oh, but this work is still expected of me,
even though the plan has now changed.
And the problem is it started off as a wedding
that she was gonna be part of and all this stuff,
and then it switched, and now she's not part of it.
I wonder if the bride would,
if this could all be kind of solved
by just kind of like framing it differently.
Yeah, I was gonna say-
Of like, hey, this isn't a bachelorette trip anymore,
but can we just throw a party?
Or I think there's so much politics to bride stuff and bridesmaids and weddings and bachelorettes.
And I think what the problem is here, we don't know how the bride is framing the bachelorette,
but I think assuming that your friends will throw you a weekend getaway somewhere and
you not kind of leading the charge is, I think, that's the disconnect, right?
It's like, they're like, we're doing all this and then we don't get to do the other.
Does that make sense?
It's like, I understand that, but some of the best bachelorettes are when the bride
is kind of like, hey, this is what I would like to do.
I have these plans.
Yeah, not when you-
And then you let everyone else decide how they want to contribute.
Yeah. I think with how the bride is now going about this wedding,
it sounds like that's more the vibe.
They've pared it down a lot and with that, it's like,
hey, it's not about, because I agree,
you're talking about, oh, this will be a really fun thing,
but the bride is still framing it in this more traditional sense as opposed
to hey guys do we want to just go do something really fun yeah and we all do
it together as opposed to exactly you need to throw me a party exactly oh and
like throwing out a hint of like oh Scottsdale would be fun yes that's a
lot of work of then like okay cool and then and then you're gonna go off and
this bride get the air and be a bee you plan the trip and tell the bridesmaids
where we get to celebrate.
Exactly.
I have a feeling if the bride did all of that,
she wouldn't be writing this post.
She'd be like, oh yeah, it's fine.
We're doing a different thing.
No, I think she thinks,
I think the only reason why she would be upset about this
is if the bride put all the work on her.
Does that make sense?
Or she's assuming that the bride is going
to put all the work on her.
Yes, exactly.
It's sounding like that though, right?
So then I kinda understand.
I don't think they've gotten to that point yet.
True.
But then I kinda understand it,
cause you're like, hey, you want your cake and eat it too.
Like you wanna have the wedding part with us
and we have to do all that work and then you get to go away.
And then we're gonna spend all this money
and then we don't get to like,
then like go to a party that you also planned. Because what also is like special about weddings
is like the wedding sometimes is, it's different for every culture and every person and every
state. But like, there's like, sometimes it's the it's the bride and the groom being like,
come celebrate with us. Right. And we love you guys. So we're going to feed you guys.
And we're going to like do this together. So kind of the bachelorette is kind of the way
that the girls can give back to the bride.
Does that make sense?
It's like, I just did a bachelorette literally a month ago,
and it was so clear that her wedding,
my friend whose wedding it was,
that was so much a labor of love for her and her family
to put on for the family
and her friends.
And the bachelorette was just us being like,
hey, she's got a lot of work on her plate.
Let's just do a fun weekend away.
And she picked the spot, she gave us all the,
but then we were like, let's fill it with things she loves
so she doesn't have to plan that.
So it was kind of like a, I scratch your back,
you scratch my back, kind of.
A little bit like a sacrificial giving, right?
And I think the only reason why this girl's probably like,
this is fucked, is if,
cause she's not feeling given back to.
And it's just serve me, serve me,
and then I'm gonna go away and celebrate this,
and you can't even join that.
I don't think she'll be the asshole for going and saying,
hey, I don't think I wanna go through with this
now that the plan has changed.
I don't think she's an asshole for that.
I don't think that's even the conversation now of if you're an asshole or not as much as just like,
hey, the plans have changed, so go about it now that the plans have changed.
Like, do a different thing now.
And it's just Dangerous Territory heralding it for groups for yourself.
Yeah.
As you being the messenger.
True. She needs to go as an individual and not explain it as we, because she is, the title is saying that we,
and you're not speaking for we.
Do not speak for we.
But then also I'll say, now I'm hearing,
I have to always go both sides here,
and I'm like, it's interesting that,
I think if the bride is not just dumping this on them,
then I kind of respect the bride's wishes to be like,
this is how I'm doing my wedding,
and these girls being like, well, if we don't get to go
dance on a dance floor, then that's not fun.
You know what I mean?
Because I will say, a lot of girls,
because the bridesmaids thing I just did,
we weren't official bridesmaids,
we didn't stand up there with her,
and we didn't wear the same things.
I also do not like when the bridesmaids
or groomsmen stand up there with them.
I'm like, let me sit down.
Well, some people it's really sweet.
Some people I love it.
Let me sit the fuck down.
This is not about me.
You go do your ceremony stand up there.
I know, but sometimes people are nervous
and they like their friends around them
and it's really sweet. And I'll be right in the front row
because you saved me the front row once.
We walk up and then I sit down.
The family's in the front row.
But anyway, I'll say.
Family's in the second row.
I think. Chosen family's in the front row. But anyway, I'll say. Families in the second row. I think.
Chosen families in the first row.
OK.
I'm kidding.
I think it gets really crazy because sometimes people
take the words bridesmaids as like, I'm best friend.
And then I get all these things because I am best friend.
Or we are the group that you, we are your chosen people.
And we are the number one people.
And then sometimes they want more rather than like,
yeah, this wedding I was a bridesmaid at,
we literally just got ready with her and did a bachelorette.
Like no one knew we were that.
It was just her making us feel special.
I think at the end of the day, both events,
the wedding and the bachelorette are just both parties
being like, I appreciate you, I love you.
Yeah.
It's tough, it's tough cause you know, tough because Courtney and I went such a different route.
But I also see like, it's hard for me to relate to the bride because I am someone who never
would just expect people to do something like that for me.
My instinct is to think like, oh, well, that's crazy. It shows I have that expectation of someone.
So I am on the OP's side just in like, just, yeah,
that's crazy to expect you to do that.
Yeah.
You're not technically part of this.
It's just expecting and not communicating.
Yeah.
Yeah, like it should be, hey, huge change of plans.
So let's discuss what we want to do now in this state
The verdict was not the asshole
Comments not the asshole. You aren't a bridesmaid. So you should not be expected to carry out bridesmaid duties
Someone else said not the asshole
I think it would be totally fair to still want a bachelorette party if she treated it in a similar fashion to the wedding
Meaning she was okay with it being a small simple and inexpensive if she said hey, it's a tiny wedding
So I don't need a big wild weekend. Let's just go out for dinner and drinks one night Meaning she was okay with it being small, simple, and inexpensive. If she said, hey, it's a tiny wedding,
so I don't need a big, wild weekend,
let's just go out for dinner and drinks one night, okay?
That would be okay,
even if she wasn't inviting folks to the wedding.
But to say, you can't come to the wedding, but also,
but you have to do all the things that require you
to spend time and effort and money for me still,
isn't acceptable.
You can be small and low key, or wild and big,
but you can't pick and choose and expect
the guests to go along.
100%.
You can also be wild and big,
but communicate that and not pressure someone into that.
Exactly.
Just because you have a small wedding
doesn't mean you have to have a small bachelorette.
You just can't expect and you can't pressure.
Totally, totally.
Lastly, someone said, not the asshole,
you're 100% valid for the way you feel.
Wedding traditions are so blurred
that there is no right or wrong way of doing things.
If you don't feel like spending hundreds,
if not thousands on a celebration
you are not invited to, then don't.
Some individuals may feel they still want to partake
in the celebration and that is great.
They can do so without expecting
everyone else to do the same.
I would set a firm boundary with them
and then don't sway after that boundary is set.
If you feel like the party
They are doing after is enough simply say I will personally only be partaking in this event
But I hope you have fun on whatever else you decide to do. Yeah. Yeah, I definitely agree with that
This is just a lack of communication
It's just like communication and expectation like chance knows that if I ever get married
He's gonna have to throw a four day long parade
that ends in a musical.
And I've communicated that.
And I relish in that opportunity
and it will be the best goddamn musical I've seen.
But just saying.
And when there's budget cuts and Chance has to do
a one man show version of it.
Well.
Where he plays all the characters.
Well, I've been waiting for this.
But I've communicated that is my point.
I'm not gonna expect the parade.
I'm gonna tell Chance with a gun to his head, do me a parade.
I'm kidding.
And I'll say, you don't have to do this.
Maybe like, get theatrical.
Go crazy.
I want to see this.
I'm kidding.
That actually sounds like my worst nightmare.
I do want, I do want.
Yeah, you just talked about hating the Bubba Gump story.
And now you're like, but now I want a parade.
I know.
That was just a joke.
I will be directing my own wedding.
It will be a show.
Okay.
It will be a show.
I'm exhausted just hearing it.
Yeah.
Like, does anyone have any objections?
Yeah, bitch, there's gonna be some bitch.
You're gonna plan objections?
Oh yeah, the fuck I am.
That's actually. And it's gonna be hilarious.
That's actually so funny.
I've never heard of that before.
A comedy one?
I've just never heard of anyone planning objections as a bit. Yeah. Oh yeah, he's gonna be hilarious. That's actually so funny. I've never heard of that before. A comedy one? I've just never heard of anyone planning objections
as a bit.
Oh yeah, he's gonna make us go like,
my objection, my fat ass.
No, I think I might hire actors that way no one has to,
that way no one coming,
that way no one coming has to like perform,
they're just guests, they get to enjoy the show.
That's so funny.
Isn't that so fun?
I love that.
Yeah. Oh man. What about my four that so fun? I love that. Yeah.
Oh man.
But what about my four day long parade?
Yeah, that was cool too.
No, your wedding will be different.
Your wedding will be different.
Our wedding will be different.
Why are you guys laughing?
Okay, next story.
Am I the asshole for leaving during my wife's labor?
Scott. Listen, listen, boys, if the game's tied and we're in the fourth quarter, we got to go watch.
Look, man.
I don't like that.
That didn't land well.
Add that to the compilation.
Stop.
Ten minutes of Angela giving herself the ick.
Several fans are like, clipped, fans like clipped clips All right
My wife went into labor around 6 p.m. On Sunday. We were expecting twins
It quickly turned into a very painful process
She kept cutting off the blood pressure to my hand when she squeezed and nearly sprayed my shirt with vomit sounds really hard, dude
I was about to say my fucking god. She's got two really tough days.
She's got two humans coming out of her vat.
Her vagina's about to be the size of a fucking football,
and your hand hurts.
Twice, twice.
Around 3 AM, my dad calls.
I work for my dad's company, and we
had a presentation for clients Monday morning
that I had to get ready for.
My dad heard my wife was in labor, but told me he needed me on this presentation.
He said there was nothing I could do to help my wife and delivery and seeing the baby come
out was overrated and people don't prepare you for the gore.
He said he needed me to rest up and make myself presentable for the presentation.
My wife's labor was progressing very slowly and we were all certain she would need forceps
or other assistance to deliver the babies. I realized that I couldn't help her here
and my dad was counting on me so I told her I needed to leave. She started
screaming at me so loudly that a few nurses rushed over to our room. I ended
up doing the presentation with the clients and things went well. I leave the
office and see a text on my phone that said my wife delivered an hour ago at
around 1030 a.m. and they had to use forceps.
I would have missed the meeting had I stayed and my dad has given me everything he could
possibly give me in life, so I didn't want to let him down.
Am I the asshole?
I had responsibilities that I had to take care of and while my wife is still screaming
at me saying that she was alone when they destroyed her body, I'm the only one who works
and her mom herself said that she was emotional and overreacting
My wife even went as far as to say that her family would disown her if she was the first of them to divorce But that she doesn't consider me her husband right now
It's a lot
I'm like fuming over here. He had a presentation though
This guy's Don Draper.
It's just unfathomable.
Like, your dad needed you?
No, bitch.
It sounds like your wife needed you.
But it kind of makes sense with what the dad was saying,
where it's like, this is what he was raised to believe.
What could be the content of this presentation
that it is so vastly
important that you couldn't say my wife is in labor can we move it a couple of
hours? Or just I can't make it. Yeah. You can go do the presentation without me.
Yeah. There are moments in life where I'm like and I think it's a lot of
moments in life are really tough to figure out right where? Where you're like at a fork in the road.
And then there's moments in life where you know
that at the end of your life,
you're gonna flash back to it,
and you're like, all right,
the right decision is clear to me.
Like it is so clear, and I need to do this.
And to anyone who might be like,
oh, well maybe it seems like he couldn't figure it out.
It's like, well, his wife was there screaming
that she absolutely wants him there.
So I think that's the answer for you.
Yeah, because I will say, I think my dad was late.
Or in my family, I do think there's a lot of,
especially with COVID and hospitals.
Well, sometimes it strikes, sometimes it,
someone's water breaks and it's like, oh, shit.
And people are out of town.
And you don't know.
And people try their best. I will say like the like the
mandatory you weren't there it that I think it's the
principle of like her needing help and her saying no it's
that he was there and he left and it's not just that that's
and she said please stay it's not I was at work at a
presentation my phone was off and I didn't know and all the
stuff. Yeah, there's a ton of reasons. Yeah, cuz I think people could literally there. She's squeezing his hands so hard that it's
It's like brutal for him
And he can see the pain she's in and his dad's going. Oh, you don't want to see that gore my favorite part
That's the richest part because I know that fucking dad plays fucking halo and all this fucking gun shit and bloods everywhere
But I don't want to see gore down there
That's disgusting. That's hilarious. I think there might be a possibility
That he didn't want to be there and I there's a possibility that he's not being with as honest with himself
That he did not want to be there.
Or he did.
He did not want to see it.
I disagree.
And he chose the presentation so he did not have to be there.
So that he could go home and get a good night's sleep.
So that he...
How could you go home and sleep
while your wife is in labor?
Dude, it's gory.
It's gory, dude.
Her cookie looks scary.
I know.
Can you imagine the person you are dedicated to,
can you imagine the person you're dedicated to
to the rest of your life that you're supposed to love
more than anyone is there on a bed screaming
while doctors are doing all sorts of stuff
whilst a human is coming out of her body
and you're like, I'm gonna go home and sleep
and you can?
Yeah.
Your body can. You can go home and you can sleep? I don't blame her for're like, I'm gonna go home and sleep, and you can? Yeah. Your body can.
You can go home and you can sleep?
I don't blame her for being like, I might divorce.
100%.
And I think what, it's also though, it's giving,
you know how like there are a lot of people,
I feel like I see it a lot in movies,
so maybe it's not real,
but like a lot of people who before they have kids,
they're just like a child right up until they hold this kid,
and then they're like, oh my God.
Because what was interesting is he said
that his dad gave him everything.
Meanwhile, his wife is quite literally giving him
the rest of his future, which will be so plentiful
with kids and beautiful.
But he has no concept of that, and all he can see
is what his dad has given him.
So his dad is a bigger deal to him right now than his wife.
And it's interesting because I do feel like
once he realizes the riches of having a family or whatever,
I mean maybe he's not into it, but it does feel like
he thinks the only gifts given to him were from his dad,
and I just disagree.
It's just one of those times like,
I'm not a religious person, but your literal wedding vows are like,
hey, I'm gonna stick with you in the worst of times.
It's like, this is quite literally the promised moment.
Like, you promised to be here and you're breaking that.
She's actively screaming and saying please.
Yeah, it's really sad to leave someone
in physical distress.
I'm kind of blown away.
I also think that there is familial patterns in our DNA that are so inherent that we don't
even look at a lot of the time.
And I think he is hopping on to his dad's train.
And I think, I'm not a fortune teller,
but if this is a boy and he raises that boy
the same way his dad raised him,
the pattern is going to continue.
Yeah, you're right.
Unless he does something.
It's like the pattern is there, but it's also,
you know what, I'm also gonna say this,
there's an added layer here.
I think they're stupid on a professional level.
They have a presentation, they're like,
this huge presentation that's really important.
It's like, can you imagine if the dad walks,
the grandpa walks in there and he goes,
guys, my son couldn't be here today
because he's actively in the room with his wife
while she's giving labor.
And it's like, I'm about to be a grandpa.
Anyways, I'm gonna do my best right now
to present this to you.
Sold!
Oh, I'm an investor?
I'm sobbing my wallet right now to present this to you. Yeah. Oh, I'm old. I'm an investor
Cash is raining down. Yeah, like that's what I hate is when a story is stupid on multiple levels from like you failed everything
Yeah, you had it you had it all in the bag right there You could have you didn't have to sacrifice anything here and I will say sometimes there are professional environments
I don't know what this professional environment is, but sometimes that is not a valid excuse.
A lot of-
If he was a heart surgeon,
Yeah.
in that hospital and someone's like,
hey, someone's heart is exploded.
It's like, oh well, I can save that life.
Even- Okay.
Sometimes these Wall Street boys,
sometimes these tech bros,
the meeting is so important.
And if it doesn't happen happen then it won't happen
So I don't know the gravity of this that still goes back to if once oh and he's 80 years old and he's dying
What matters he gonna think back and go I should have done that differently
That's where I'm like, I know what I'm gonna regret. I
Maybe I'm very in tune with it, but I often in those moments
I'm like, I know what I'm gonna regret later. And so I'm very in tune with it, but I often in those moments. I'm like I know what I'm gonna regret later
And so I'm like I wonder person other updates on what the meeting was or anything. There are no updates
This guy and his dad suck so badly. It's crazy. There's no update because the verdict is asshole, right?
They're not gonna update. Oh 100% not gonna be like update. Yeah, so she hates me
Yeah, update there's too many women in the comments talking to me also
Mind you mind you there's think about this what his child was born these these twins
His children were born to my lord, and he's right
He's he's to my lord his children were born and he's writing a reddit story asking people if he's an asshole about this
Oh my god his children doesn't mention his children.
This is his focus right now.
You're so fucking right.
You're so fucking right.
That's his focus right now.
First time you're a father.
What was the title called again?
The title is, am I the asshole
for leaving during my wife's labor?
But like, you're worried about whether you're an asshole
or not about the decision you made.
You have brand new children.
You're a father.
And this is your focus?
There was also no remorse in that.
No.
That's why I'm like, I wonder.
The first paragraph is comical.
Oh, my favorite part is too, he's like,
her mom was even saying she was being dramatic.
Yeah.
Bro, come on.
Another woman said that.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Comments, you're the asshole.
I realized that I couldn't help her here.
Yeah, you could.
You could provide a comforting, supportive presence
while she's extremely scared and in pain.
Instead, you abandoned her,
which made everything even more stressful.
And seeing the baby come out was overrated.
It's not.
There's a reason why people usually list
the birth of their children
as the most memorable moments in their lives,
and you missed it.
Someone else said, you're the asshole.
God, you may be the biggest asshole of the week.
Your wife, the woman you vowed to stand by
for the rest of your life was having what could likely
be the most traumatic experience of her life
and instead of supporting her, you left her
because you figured helping your dad was more important.
The second you get married, your nuclear family
becomes your wife and any children you have.
They should become your first priority
and you've managed to abandon them all at the time
when your wife needed you
and missed the birth of your children.
You'd be lucky if you ever get to see those kids.
You need a reality check.
It's unfortunate your wife doesn't wanna divorce you.
Hopefully she changes her mind.
What?
Someone else said, you're the asshole.
There are no clients anywhere that would expect you
to be at a presentation on the day
of your wife's giving birth, WTF.
Someone replied to that saying, if I was the client
and I learned he missed the birth
to sell something to me, I would try to find someone else
to do the work.
You're the asshole and so is your dad.
The apple didn't fall far from the tree here.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Also, just listening to that made me think of another thing.
I think some people's idea of caretaking is like,
well, if I can't do anything to help her,
I'm not of any help.
And I think sometimes in the biggest moments,
we need someone to just be there when it's painful.
Like, you don't have to do anything.
You don't have to like, just stand there with me.
Just make me not alone.
It's a peak kind of masculine thought
that I can understand how a lot of dudes think it,
where it's like, oh, I can't actually physically do anything.
Like the nurse is better than me. They don't understand like, oh, emotionally.'t actually physically do anything. Like the nurse is better than me.
They don't understand, like, oh, emotionally,
like that's what you're doing.
Just like, just your presence there
in a time of physical anguish is, that's enough.
Yeah, and I understand to a degree what you were saying
of like maybe he didn't want to be there,
because I also understand like there's a discomfort,
and I'm sure a lot of guys feel it.
It can be really hard. I mean, she's in labor. No, but you're right. That's really hard, but I'm sure a lot of guys feel it, it can be really hard.
I mean, she's in labor.
No, but you're right.
That's really hard.
But I think for a lot of guys, and probably people
in general, it's hard when there's
moments in life where it's like, I can do nothing but be here.
And see you suffer.
And I cannot.
It will actually be unhelpful to try to help in any other way.
Yeah.
All I can do is be here for you.
I think that is why a lot of people.
And a lot of guys I think are bad at it.
Yeah.
It's hard.
Because you have to just sit there
and you just have to be there.
It's, yeah.
I've noticed it because I'm someone
who wants to do something.
Yeah.
Where I recognize when I'm like,
oh, it's not being helpful when I'm like,
well, can I do anything?
What can I do?
Yeah, you cannot control the flow of the universe.
You can just sit there as it passes.
Sometimes caretaking isn't actionable.
And I think, like, my friend right now
is going through a breakup, and it's so hard
for me to not do anything.
I'm like, let's go somewhere.
Let's do this.
Let's do this.
And sometimes being a good friend and partner
is just being there.
What I'm really bad at is moments where I'm like,
oh, I shouldn't give advice.
Yeah.
I shouldn't say anything.
I need to just be like, that sucks.
Just like, let's watch TV.
One thing I'm working on is,
I'm about to do the thing that I'm saying I'm not doing.
Instead of giving advice, I'll share a personal story
of how I experienced something like that
so that they can find some-
Relate.
I relate in some way.
Yeah.
But I was reading online, that's not always helpful.
And then they're like...
Online.
And sometimes truly nothing...
Truly sometimes nothing is the best.
At least I read, bitch.
No more.
Fuck!
Damn!
You want to shoot daggers? Shoot daggers?
No, it just took you a while to get there and it was fun.
Holy shit, bro.
Now you know how I feel every day.
Oh my god.
Our next story comes from the sub.
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A bread of two hot takes.
Shout out to Morgan.
This subreddit always has some of the best stories. Am I the asshole for not getting the same dress
as the other bridesmaids for my sister's wedding?
Okay.
I like this. I like this.
If everyone else is in the same dress, you're the asshole.
I like this.
I, Daisy, 22, woman,
am the maid of honor to my sister's
this is Tori, 25, woman, wedding for January 2025.
Our whole family is beyond excited about the wedding.
I am so happy that Tori finally found her dream man,
Jack, 26.
Tori has not had good love experiences throughout the years
and had bad relationships that did not end well.
I am really grateful that Jack is in her life
because he gets along very well with me
and the rest of my family.
Tori is my sister and I love her,
but as siblings, we have our good days and bad days.
So here goes the whole story.
I was beyond happy when my sister Tori chose me
as her maid of honor.
I, of course, accepted right away
and started looking for dress options.
The problem is the style slash design of the dress,
not the color.
I actually love the color Tori chose.
It is a beautiful lavender color.
For months, I looked at different websites for my dress and there were pretty good options
but none convinced me.
About three months ago, we found a website slash app that sells designer dresses for
special occasions like prom, weddings, and cocktail parties for a fair price.
The dresses on this app are beautiful and nicer than the previous ones I saw on the
other sites.
I right away searched for maid of honor dresses in lavender and there were so many options.
I scrolled and scrolled for a long time until I found three nice dresses that were possible
options for the wedding.
I scrolled once again and found this dress with an A-line of the shoulder with a low
back design.
As soon as I saw the dress, I said, this definitely is my dress.
I showed the dress to my mom and she agreed with me.
I sent Tori the pictures of the other three dresses and the one I chose, which was the
last picture I sent.
Tori told me that she liked the dress I chose better than the other three I sent her first.
Also, she told me to wait a little more to get the dress.
Since there was still time for the wedding, I ended up waiting.
So there is my proof. Three weeks ago, Tori texted me and asked me what dress I chose get the dress. Since there was still time for the wedding, I ended up waiting. So there is my proof.
Three weeks ago, Tori texted me and asked me
what dress I chose for the wedding.
I again sent her the picture of the dress I chose.
She said, yeah, so we are not going with that dress.
I wanna stick to the same dress for all the bridesmaids.
I was in shock because she didn't let me know sooner.
Tori sent me a picture of the dress
she chose for the bridesmaids,
and it is an infinity dress.
The infinity dress can be styled in many different ways in the upper body area,
but has no other designs and looks very plain.
The only reason why Tori chose that dress is because one of the bridesmaids did not like any other options of dresses except the infinity dress.
Tori even sent a picture of my dress, the one I chose, but she did not like it at all.
The other bridesmaids will just go along with what my sister Tori says, and there is no issue with them whatsoever."
I had a huge fight with Tori over this because I told her, I get it is your wedding, but as the
maid of honor, my dress has to be the same color, but the same style slash design as the other
bridesmaids, and I don't like the other dress. Tori answered, I don't like it that way, and like
you said, it is my wedding. I once again told her, I don't like it that way. And like you said, it is my wedding.
I once again told her, I don't like the dress you chose.
And I am sorry, but I'm going to wear it.
Tori's told me, well, it is either that dress
or you can stay home and not go to my wedding.
Right after her answer, Tori walked out the door
extremely mad.
Since our fight, we have seen each other,
but we barely speak.
My two brothers, mom and dad have taken my side.
They say that Tori is overreacting
and cares more about that one bridesmaid's opinion
than mine.
Also, they say that Tori has not had any consideration
for me as her maid of honor
because not once did she ask for my opinion
and help to choose the bridesmaid dresses.
My parents and my brothers still cannot believe
Tori and I had a fight over this situation.
My mom told me, oh my God,
so Tori decides not to take your side as her sister, but prefers
to take Jack's mom, Tori's future mother-in-law, her side, and is going to let her wear the
dress of her liking.
Side note, in the early preparations of the wedding, Tori and Jack decided that the mothers
were going to wear the same colored dress.
My mom and Jack's mom both agreed to wear the same colored dress for the wedding.
Jack's mom went back on her word and decided not to wear the same color dress as my mom.
So am I the asshole?
There's a discrepancy
where
they said that she wasn't even consulted on the dress on
what her opinion of the dress was, but she was consulted. She sent pictures of
three dresses and the one that she chose and the sister said yeah, I like that one, too
So she was consulted. Yeah. Yeah, that's what it sounded like
Ultimately when it came down to it and she goes this is the dress that we're doing
Yeah, and she and then she says to the bride's face. Well, I'm doing this other dress. That's not how that works
Yeah, it's not and then the bride goes well, you know,'m doing this other dress. That's not how that works. Yeah. And then the bride goes, well, no, you're
doing what I'm going to do.
Yeah.
Or you're not going to go.
I mean, it's like, what are you going to do at that point?
It is also like, it should have been like, OK,
can we choose this dress over the infinity dress?
Like, why is her opinion more valid than my?
Yeah, if she wants to bring that up to the bride instead.
But even still, it's like the bride is making a decision.
And what kind of frustrates me is she's bringing up this,
how the mother-in-law kind of went back on her word,
and it's like, well, the mother-in-law got to do
what she wanted, so why don't I?
It's like, no, there's proof that someone else
has already pressured her and pissed her off, probably,
and now you're gonna add to that and also be selfish?
And that's why that part's in the story.
Also, not your fucking wedding.
Yeah, I'm like, dude, I don't know.
Unless there's a really good reason.
But it is your fucking body.
But you did send all those dresses.
You kind of sent those dresses being like, these all work.
You had a favorite, but you sent all those dresses.
One of them got picked.
When you said this, I was like, oh, I really hope
this dress is for a body comfort thing,
or just a personal, this is my body,
and I'm not comfortable in that.
But then when I heard, it just had an open back,
and I liked that, I was like,
okay, well, buy that for another party.
I was like, oh, that's the reason
why you're putting your foot down
is because you look great in the open back?
Also, the price of this relationship,
the price of the wedding is now
what you look like in a dress.
That doesn't seem worth it to me.
Yeah, there's plenty of,
I think there would be plenty of reasons
where I'd be like, okay, if for whatever reason
maybe the dress was too revealing and she's like,
I don't feel comfortable.
There's so many things.
Yeah, there's plenty of reasons where I'd be like,
I don't feel comfortable in this,
but that's not the angle she's telling us.
Exactly, that's what I was hoping this was,
because I was like, oh, that would be a more
nuanced conversation, but if this girl just wants
to wear this because she likes this one more,
I hate to break it to you,
I hope your social life is bigger
than this and I hope you could just buy that dress for another
thing because this isn't your only time like also those
infinity dresses like I I was a bridesmaids and we all had
those infinity dresses and it was because there were so many
different ages body types there are pregnant bridesmaids there
are so many it's really terrifying when you have
someone say you have to wear this, right?
And it's not like a, like, it's hard to like fully be like,
my body is yours to put whatever you want on, right?
So it's already a vulnerable spot.
So that's why I was like kind of fighting
for this girl for a second.
But now I'm like, just, this isn't your wedding.
There's also this sense of, I get it, it's your wedding.
But what I will also say is you're trying
to control other people.
Like you're telling them that they're in their wedding,
but you're trying to control what other people
are putting on their bodies, how they're being presented.
And that doesn't, like that traditional wedding vibe,
I don't fuck with that.
And that's fair.
I get that they're gonna be standing up there.
You can't, they're not dolls.
Like, they are real people with real emotions
that you love and care about,
and you should be able to have an open, honest communication
and they should be able to wear
what they wanna wear at your wedding.
Right, but, and there's many such situations
where I agree with that.
This is a situation where this person,
this OP sent four options.
Say, these all work for me.
One was picked and then they're going, nah.
I want the other one because I don't like it.
It's like, no, that's the problem.
I agree if it's like, hey, you're all wearing,
here's the dress that I'm picking
that you guys haven't seen and going,
I can't wear that for whatever reason. That's, I I agree with that and there's probably a lot of situations. Yeah, you sent this as a suitable option
Yeah, you have to deal with the consequence. There's a million varieties
As an option that I might pick and and look it you are allowed to go then
I'm not going to the wedding you're allowed to do that
I'm also thinking like as the bride like like what it sounds like this bride like with the with the moms being in the same color
It seems like she's like wants a picture like this is for like pictures and that she wants it to like be a color
Scheme for the picture. I would even be like wear this for the fucking picture in the ceremony
You can get into whatever the fuck you want after but like at the end of the day They're wearing something uniformed because I think of the ceremony in the ceremony, you can get into whatever the fuck you want after, but like at the end of the day,
they're wearing something uniformed because I think
of the ceremony and the pictures.
Like I don't think it really matters,
but it depends on each person.
I think if this was the angle,
if it was a truly discomfort angle,
then I think the answer is she needs to talk
to the brothers about that. She just likes the open back.
But this is not sounding, this isn't sounding like that.
This is something that's come from a different place.
It's hard for me to personally relate to
because I never did the traditional stuff
and that never mattered to me.
And it always, it sounds strange to me,
but I know how important it is to people.
I think what weddings really come down to is
it's a time to show respect to these two people.
And it's just, I think OP is an asshole for reasons
outside of even the like what happened in the story.
The first comment sums it up pretty well, and I didn't think about it until now.
Someone said your first paragraph, by the way, the verdict was asshole, which I think is fair. Yeah.
Your first paragraph of completely unnecessary info.
She has a history of bad love relationships
at the ripe old age of 25.
Show both your immaturity
and the way you look down on your sister.
Your job as maid of honor is to show up,
support the bride, and make her life easier
in any way you can.
You are failing spectacularly.
I love that.
Either shut up and wear the dress she wants
or step down because it's not about you
Maybe for the first time in your life based on your family's reaction, which is ridiculous, too. You're the asshole
Yeah, I do feel bad that the family is all siding with her. Yeah, that's bullshit. Oh, this sounds like a
Interesting family dynamic. Yeah. Yeah
Someone said you sound incredibly self-righteous and entitled. You're
the asshole. Massively so. You can choose dresses when you are getting married. For someone
else's wedding, you wear what they choose. Your family being on your side is absurd.
Are they scared of you or something? I feel incredibly sorry for your sister. She should
be all excited and happy about her upcoming wedding and not have her life made difficult
by an entitled little sister and favorite playing parents.
I can just imagine the bridezilla you are going to be
at your own wedding when bridesmaids refuse to wear
what you choose for them.
Again, you're the asshole.
It's just like team players, it's like ensemble stuff
where you're like, my God, if I was picky about the shit
I had to wear in this building.
Like that potato costume for the Spud Hut video
for members only doesn't show my back enough.
I'm like, you have no fucking clue.
When you work with, you just gotta be a yes person
sometimes when you're working on a team.
Right.
Sorry I got deep there.
That's okay, I did put you in there.
I do agree though.
I do agree though, there's situations in life
where it's like, hey man, if you're tasked, you're in
this situation, like, you're trying to make their time easier.
Yeah.
Stressful for them.
It's not about you.
Yeah.
When any sacrifice of any kind is such a toll on someone, it's a red flag.
But I also understand, and this is not this situation, but I also understand, like, it
is an interesting thing to be like, you get to choose what someone wears I'm like
That's so scary. That sounds weird. No, it's not a tradition
It is when I think being the bride or groom you would be mindful and all of the weddings
I know they were mindful of yes
You have it sounds like it sounds like to a degree though this dress that was picked
I don't know much about infinity dresses. It sounds like it was picked in what you were saying where it's like, this is going to be comfortable for-
There's like so many options.
I know, but like the idea is that nobody's going
to be uncomfortable.
I just think it's an antiquated idea.
You just choose a color
and you just make sure everyone is in close.
I really think unless it's like a discomfort
from like a real intense like aspect of your being, then it's like a discomfort from like a real intense like percent aspect of your being then it's like okay that's why I was like picking
up my battle shield are ready to fight for this person yeah I went oh yeah
because plenty of people have you know very extreme discomforts with their own
body and I understand that but unless it's coming from there if you're able to
just be like okay yeah a hundred percent like cuz it's this and and maybe I'm misinterpreting it it sounds like this is coming from a place if you're able to just be like, okay, I'm gonna do this. Yeah, 100%. Because it's, this, and maybe I'm misinterpreting it,
it sounds like this is coming from a place of like,
well I wanna look fucking hot.
Yeah, that is.
No, I'm sorry, that's not what this is about here.
I hate when people tell me what to wear to the wedding.
And sometimes, I've been to a couple,
I went to like six weddings one year,
and I had like exotic looks but I would always like ask the
bride and groom before I like but one groom was like you can't wear that and I
was like that's so it wasn't anything crazy it was like my family's a little
more conservative and I was like that's not even a good reason I wasn't even in
the wedding party I just wanted to share that that's okay and I looked so hot it
was such a good suit.
My parents once showed up to a wedding
where everyone was asked to wear all white
and my parents wore black
and they didn't read the invitation.
It's the funniest picture I have to say.
Fuck, that's awesome.
That is awesome.
And I was like, it was mortifying.
Next story.
Am I the asshole for refusing to attend
my mom's Renaissance Fair themed birthday party?
Hilarious.
I don't believe in the Renaissance.
I'm sorry mom, I don't believe in that.
DaVinci didn't exist.
Yeah.
My mom recently turned 50 and my family has been
experiencing some tension.
I'm currently planning a wedding and my mom has been
nothing but cold and standoffish with my bride to be.
I have addressed her behavior multiple times and the answer is always, well she isn't my fiance. I am currently planning a wedding and my mom has been nothing but cold and standoffish with my bride-to-be.
I have addressed her behavior multiple times
and the answer is always, well, she isn't my fiance.
Well, I'm shy.
Well, you picked her, not me.
Damn.
Well, I'm shy.
I finally blew up and we had a long heart-to-heart
and she confirmed my fears that she doesn't like
my fiance much and finds her annoying and vapid.
I told her if she ever acted on those feelings,
she would be disinvited from the wedding.
My fiance recently had a bridal shower
slash bachelorette weekend at Disney
as she is a huge Disney person.
Growing up, we rarely went to Disney
as my stepdad and I preferred Universal.
That's so funny.
That's so funny that that's the reason.
I never knew my mom had opinions regarding Disney
and it got back to me that she was making fun of the bridal shower calling
Calling it things like lame and embarrassing when I confronted her she expressed her concerns
She felt it was self-indulgent that she was having so many pre wedding events and she was salty about being given a matching shirt to wear
Apparently she didn't want to be in the bride squad
She tried to brush this off by saying Disney was childish and themes are lame.
I ended up skipping my mom's birthday trip to Italy
due to other commitments.
To be fair, she was cool with this.
I planned on taking her to dinner sometime,
since 50 is a big deal,
but I received an invitation to a surprise party
on the day of her actual birthday and decided to attend.
When I got there, it was full Ren Faire themed.
Costumes, games, food, performers. It was like her own personal fare.
Now, I don't think people would suspect this
because she gives off two cool vibes,
but my mom loves Renaissance Faires.
It started as a joke with her and a friend
that it is an excuse to dress slutty,
but that was years ago and now they are her thing.
To be honest, it was an amazing party,
probably one of the sickest parties I've seen,
but I immediately felt pissed.
How the hell is Ren Faire less cringy, childish, or embarrassing than Disney?
Ha ha!
And why isn't it excessive that my mom had a trip abroad plus this party?
I just could not stop thinking fucking hypocrite.
My mom walked in and was surprised.
Then she went to change and I couldn't take it anymore.
I told my aunt that I was leaving and that if my mom wanted me she could call and personally apologize to my fiance
My aunt called me a prick
So I left with my fiance and guess who never called now my family is saying I'm an ass for missing both of her
celebrations when 50 is a huge deal
Also, apparently they are mad because they feel my fiance used the party to get insta likes but like what she didn't know
We would be leaving early. I
Will say the things we hate and other people are most often the things we hate in ourselves I
Think you're an asshole for shaming someone or judging someone for their interests like, you know, it's just like she likes Disney. They're interested, but she's like,
she does too many pre-parties.
Bitch, you're going to Italy and you had a full Renaissance
fair. That's so true.
You're putting it on her. You don't like what you're doing.
They are the same. And you're saying she's crazy.
And you think Bride Squad?
She's upstaging you and you're scared.
A new supreme is coming and you feel your power draining.
She likes Universal instead of Disneyland?
That line kills me.
Like, yeah, she likes Disney,
but we're more of a Minions family.
We were.
They wanted to go on Space Mountain
and we said, let's do the Simpsons ride.
We're gonna do the Mummy instead.
Yeah.
And I love Universal
and I'm not gonna make fun of anyone who loves it.
But also that's fucking crazy.
I don't like Universal. I like it, but I don't, but also, that's fucking crazy. I don't like Universal.
I like it, but I mean, it's like-
I don't like Universal, okay, we live in California.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't like Universal,
because the ride you ride the most is the escalator.
Yeah.
This mom can't do it.
But with the right people, it feels like a ride.
Mm.
This just sounds petty as hell, all of this.
This is definitely a petty story.
The verdict was asshole.
Oh.
But-
Asshole that he left the party?
That he left the party.
All the comments are, we have three comments here
and they're all different takes.
Okay.
Okay, I'm excited because I wouldn't have left the party.
I do think the mom, he might be the asshole,
but the mom is an asshole.
Yeah, I would say that the party-
For going around and talking shit on her for liking Disney. I mean, yeah, but the mom is an asshole. Yeah, I would say that the party is part of the whole thing. For going around and talking shit on her for liking Disney.
I mean, yeah, the mom sounds like an asshole
based on all the comments, all the quotes in this.
The mom is an asshole.
But is he an asshole for leaving this party or not?
The top comment, or not the top,
one of the comments, you're the asshole.
You want your mom to be more accepting of your fiance.
You bailed on her 50th birthday twice
Probably not a good way to go about it. Also. The second party was a surprise
So it's not like it was planned like the bridal shower thing and while your mom thought the event was silly
She still participated you stood her up intentionally and then demanded an apology
Okay, I kind of understand that too
Like I would have stayed at the party because I would have been like
Here's what I wish you would do for my wife is stay here and wear the bride squad shit
Yeah, you know they're showing up for you the way you didn't show up for yeah
And that's the best way is to like is the best way there's situations in life where it's like, okay
This is an opportunity to either make things a little easier for us going forward or I I can get vengeance. Exactly. With catharsis.
Yeah.
But things are gonna be worse.
But I also validate the fact that sometimes
when you're feeling so shitty from someone's actions,
you don't wanna be at that party.
I get it.
Totally.
Other comment, everyone sucks here.
Ignore all the Disney haters, it's not my thing,
but to each their own.
Your mom shouldn't be making fun of your fiance.
She is overstepping and good for you for shutting that down and being a supportive partner
That being said you should not have caused a scene and stormed off from the party
That should have been a private conversation later, and you should have just stayed for a little bit and then dipped
Lastly someone said not the asshole your mom hid the fact that she didn't like your fiance while avoiding wedding planning.
Call me crazy, but that's unusual.
Even if she's not the biggest fan of your fiance,
she should still respect the relationship.
Publicly ridiculing someone by calling them childish or lame
because they enjoy a fantasy world
while having someone throw you a surprise party
themed around a fantasy world is hypocritical.
You stood up for your fiance and set boundaries
before things got out of hand.
The only way you could be the asshole
is if you're leaving out something that your fiance did.
Otherwise, your mom definitely owes both of you an apology.
Renaissance isn't necessarily a fantasy, you know.
Renaissance was a period of time in history.
Speak on it.
But they often, Renaissance fairs include fantasy elements
like fairies and dragons and shit sick just so you guys know
Thank you. Awesome. But run fair usually involves me getting just so
That's what rent fairs for
Absolutely, I've never seen people drunker. Yeah, so is bright squad
That's what I'd squad Squad. These stories I enjoy because
we're talking about petty stuff. We're talking about some bullshit. People saying mean things
to each other and doing stuff. And revenge. We've got a bunch of different angles of this.
I don't necessarily think, I can't necessarily disagree with any of them. So sound off in
the comments what your thoughts are on this. Yeah. I'm curious. Universal heads, rise up.
Universal heads. Let's get a comment
for Universal and a comment for Disney and see who wins. Disney's gonna- Disney's gonna
win. Disney's gonna win. Our final story. Am I the asshole for teasing my friend about
not recognizing my kid, thus ruining her marriage and an unrelated engagement party. Feels like it has three acts.
Yeah.
So there's multiple, there's a domino effect.
Yeah, okay.
That's right.
So me and my wife have a five-year-old son.
Our group of friends is mostly couples with kids
as we are nearing our 40s,
and so a lot of our meetings with friends
now include meeting up as entire families, kids included.
This can sometimes mean a lot of adults and a lot of kids.
One person in this group, Emma, fake name,
used to be my roommate in college.
She was married and has her own kids,
and we hang out with her and her husband
sometimes in a group setting, but rarely on our own.
Emma also tends to run late often.
This is all relevant to the story.
As our son is an only child, we sometimes worry
that he wouldn't really learn to share
or get along with other kids.
To prevent this, and while I love spending time with him,
I would sometimes preemptively nudge him to engage with other kids when we are in public playgrounds or at the beach or the pool.
To that end, when I buy him a water pistol or an RC car or the like, I'd often just buy two or three.
I'd get to the playground and play with him, and when another kid would show interest in the toys,
I'd just go, oh, you want to play with us? And hand him the remote or the pistol or whatever,
thus getting the kids to play. This works great quite often and I have a generally good
relationship with the parents in our neighborhood. This is also relevant. One day, like a year back,
me and my wife were planning on taking our kid to the pool. I pack my large bag of pool toys,
Emma texted me. Her husband is away that day and she's looking for something to do to the pool. I pack my large bag of pool toys, Emma texts me, her husband is away that day
and she's looking for something to do with the kids.
I talk to my wife and tell Emma we're going
to our local pool and she's welcome to join us.
But we're planning on heading there early
so she can just join us whenever.
We arrive at the pool pretty early
and get a really good spot poolside, right by the shallows.
I grab some water pistols and me and my kids
start playing world domination. I am trying to take over the world and can only be stopped through I grab some water pistols and me and my kids start playing world domination.
I am trying to take over the world and can only be stopped through the power of water pistols.
It's a whole thing. Kids love it.
Soon another kid is there.
It's a kid from my son's kindergarten class.
He's there with his mom.
He is, of course, welcome to join us.
We know the family. The mom and my wife are pretty friendly and our kids play together often.
So my wife says she wants to go for a swim and the kid's mom says she wants to join her
and ask me if I'm okay watching the kids.
I say sure since by this point the kids
are blasting each other with water pistols
and I'm just chilling poolside,
just occasionally having to call out,
oh no, my plan's for world domination ruined.
Because sometimes that's just what parenting is.
Then Emma and her kids show up.
She is really happy to see me
and I give out toys to her kids.
All is going well.
Then my son's friend runs up and asks for some other toy
and I go, sure thing, and hand it to him.
Emma goes, oh my god, so cute, he looks just like you.
I laugh and say, okay cool, but this isn't my kid.
Now in her defense, the kid does look kind of like me,
making this kind of hilarious.
When my wife and the kid's mom come back, I tell them this story.
They also find it hilarious.
We all have a friendly chuckle, but think little of it.
Fast forward to a few months ago.
Oh no, girl, give it up.
Grow up, move on.
I haven't seen Emma in a while.
We were at a friend's group gathering
and it was a good time all around.
When we're about to call it a day,
me and Emma are at the entrance.
She's grabbing her stuff and I'm on my second trip from the car. Kids toys, kids clothes, dirty dishes, Tupperware with leftovers
I want, etc. And I call it to Emma's husband.
Hey, can you call my wife and kid over? Just make sure it's actually my kid and not some random kid who kind of looks like me.
I think it's a hilarious callback. He seems confused and kind of angry. He asks what the hell I'm talking about.
Why would he call a random kid?
I'm also confused so I tell him the pool story.
He doesn't laugh.
Emma doesn't laugh either.
The entire thing now feels kind of awkward.
I awkwardly say goodbye, go grab my wife and kid myself,
and we leave.
Later that day I text Emma to ask if everything is all right.
I get no reply.
I text her again a few days later.
No reply.
I get the distinct sense I fucked up, but also if she doesn't want to talk to me, I'm
not going to force the issue.
I leave well enough alone.
At worst, I thought she was mad at a joke I made, which was apparently in poor taste.
Boy, howdy, did I underestimate the fallout of this joke.
A few days ago-
Act three, act three, act three!
This goes through time. A few days ago, I three, act three, act three! This goes through time.
A few days ago, I arrived at a friend's place
and Emma was there.
This is an engagement party, so no kids.
I wasn't supposed to come, but decided at the last minute
and my wife was at home with our kid.
Emma sees me and is livid.
She wasn't expecting to.
She only came because she thought I wouldn't be there.
She does, however, take the opportunity
to tear me a new one, though.
She calls me out in front of everyone because of my joke.
Originally said with air quotes, her husband was furious.
From what she said and what I gathered
from mutual friends afterwards,
she previously commented on someone else's kid
looking like someone who wasn't his father.
Except that whole thing led to a family drama
in Emma's husband's family,
because in that case, that dude was cheating,
and that was his kid,
and a whole bunch of people were really hurt in the aftermath.
Emma's husband was furious
because he apparently thought she would know better
than to comment on kids looking like people again.
Yep! Absolutely.
Absolutely!
Absolutely!
Fucking lutely.
Learn your fucking lesson.
Patterns, Shane, patterns.
Oh my God.
You either break free or you keep doing the same thing.
I was like, no way this is gonna like get good
and it got good.
It got good, it got good.
This is my wife, Larry David.
This sent them down a spiral,
especially because the husband apparently thought
she told me that other family story,
and that I was mocking him for his family drama, and he thought the story I told was just covering for her when I realized I fucked up.
This was not the case. I had no idea that whole thing happened. Still, he didn't believe Emma when she told him.
So they are now separated.
Oh.
Golly.
She calls me an asshole and says I ruined her marriage. Oh
She calls me an asshole and says I ruined her marriage I am NOT a confrontational person I apologize profusely. I say I didn't know and if she didn't want me telling the story. She should have said something
She tells me I'm making excuses. This is now a scene
I apologize profusely again and leave quickly after telling the couple a quick congratulations
I'm later told this was anything anyone could talk about at the party and now the
engaged couple are mad at me too. Emma is even more mad because now everyone knows her drama.
I am unfriended and unfollowed on everything. Some friends think I couldn't have known better
and the joke was pretty benign. Other friends say it was in really poor taste to
throw her under the bus and I am totally the asshole.
Emma's best friend, who I also know from college, thinks I did know about the whole thing with
her husband, and now I'm just covering my own ass to get away with being cruel.
It has been a few days, and some of my friends will no longer talk to me.
Others think she is wrong to blame me, and that marriage was doomed anyway.
Still, I feel really guilty about making the joke
and I obviously wouldn't have made it
had I known the trouble it would cause.
I like Emma and I didn't want to hurt her.
I also liked her husband.
I'd like to say that maybe he was wrong
to let the marriage implode like that
because of a stupid joke, but at the same time,
I don't really exactly know his family drama
and their history or the specifics
of his relationship with Emma.
So I can't really say he's wrong for overreacting. The entire thing just kind of sucks.
My wife sort of got my back, though.
She thinks the joke was hilarious
and actually thinks breaking up their marriage
makes it even funnier because WTF.
She also loves crazy Reddit stories,
so she sent me to post this.
So at least I got that going for me, which is nice.
So, am I the asshole?
No. No.
No, this is hilarious, man.
And it's also like, Emma, wake the fuck up.
She is not the reason that your marriage is falling apart.
Your marriage was already falling apart.
If you are able, if you are separating,
because someone goes, oh yeah, your wife said
this kid looked like me, it's like, then your marriage.
Something's under the hood.
Was so close to breaking.
Yeah, yeah, OP isn't an asshole, he hood was so close to breaking. Yeah
Yeah, OP isn't an asshole. He just has a story to tell that's
Crazy. Yeah, the chances raise. I mean it happens to people where you don't realize you're saying
Yeah thing that has so much context. I love it. It's like a spell out of nowhere
It's absolutely a Seinfeld episode. This is a sign. It's perfect George. This is a George because you are so right
This is so Larry David coated. It's that absolutely is what it is where it's like
It's like you just didn't know you it's absolutely it's exactly what they needed to hear
It is exactly what was supposed to happen. It's so
Wild but like god, I would have spiraled too. I would have been like, I must have, how did I?
It's hard when you were the inciting incident,
but you weren't, you weren't.
You weren't the inciting incident.
I mean, kinda was.
No, that thing was ready to tip.
Yeah, it was ready to tip,
but it just needed that one little push.
Am I also, going back a lot,
the husband is mad at his wife because she said oh that kid looks like you
Yeah, actually was his kid and he was cheating. It's like that's not her fault
There's a lot of stuff going on that I think we need to dial it back already told you stop doing that
He said you have a problem. You stop doing that. Okay, she oh, I don't think she said this kid looks like you
I think she she she goes. Oh like he looks like oh she did say that he looks like you yeah
Well, you just you know, like when you fuck up and you're like don't say this don't say this don't say this and you say it
I bet I don't know. This is crazy Also, we were really at the pool for so long
We needed to be at the pool because we needed to be at the pool because we needed to know why she's making this joke
I was like we're playing world domination. We didn't need to know about world domination
Didn't need to know a goddamn thing about your a lot of superfluous
He didn't show up again.
I was like, so he's sitting on the edge of the pool,
and the kids are in the pool, and the wives are taking care of kids.
Why are you bringing toys? He's homeschooled? I don't care.
So what? Get to the story.
All right, we're going to dial it back. It's 1992. I've been caught.
Yeah.
All right, comments.
Verdict, not the asshole.
Comments, what a clusterfuck.
You didn't throw her under the bus, and you're not responsible for her marital problems Emma should take responsibility
For her own actions and fuck-ups
She also created drama at the engagement party and the couple should be furious at her not you not the asshole
Someone said not the asshole you knew nothing about Emma's issues with her husband's family
Emma should not have made a scene at the engagement party. She was at fault here
She was at fault there
You should have told the happy couple to take it up with Emma.
Emma and the happy couple are assholes
for looking to blame their issues on you.
Update!
Oh!
Oh my God.
Wait, really?
Well, this guy loves exposition,
so I think we're about to get more.
Oh my God!
I hope we go back to the pool.
We had to abbreviate this for time,
and I'm looking at it, and it's 100 years of solitude.
Oh my God.
Okay, literature joke.
Booo.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do you.
Update.
So after posting yesterday, reading replies,
and thinking it over, I decided to reach out
to Emma one final time.
Some of you thought I shouldn't and that these were,
in fact, not my monkeys.
Others made me realize that Emma was probably
in a shitty situation with her husband and his family
and was actively being gaslit.
So last night, before going to bed,
I texted her a long, thoughtful message.
I explained that I do apologize for the part I played
in ruining her marriage, and I understand
she is going through a tough time.
I understand if she wants nothing more to do with me,
but if and when she feels she wants to talk it out,
she is welcome to reach out,
and I leave the ball in her court.
Emma shows up at my house at around 7 a.m. unannounced.
I ask, what the fuck?
She says she really needs to talk to me.
I call my wife to the door and explain this.
She sends me off with this woman because
She understands this shit can only go poorly and apparently she is here for it
And it's my own fault at this point so as I said from my perspective we were friends
We drifted apart from her perspective is that my love with him. Oh, so wait is it's a it's a man
He's a man okay, and we're at the pool. Yeah. OP is a man.
So OK.
So as I said, from my perspective,
we were friends.
We drifted apart.
From Emma's perspective, for the last 15 years,
she has been playing some weird game of 4D chess,
or two different games of 4D chess.
Or a game of world domination.
Of world, apparently she had feelings for me back in college
and she was trying to nice girl her way
into a relationship with me.
By being there for me when my dad died
and when I was struggling with being single,
she always gave everything because she just assumed
I would at some point come around.
You'd think that me getting married or her getting married
would change that and it did just badly.
Apparently her husband knew about her feelings
which is why he always kept me at a distance.
We never drifted apart.
He explicitly asked her not to meet with me anymore
outside of large social gatherings.
The day, that day at the pool?
Yeah, that was her sticking it to him
because he was away cheating on her or something
and he didn't like her hanging around me scantily clad.
It wasn't just that he was upset at the joke.
He was upset because apparently I was having an affair
with his wife and rubbing it in his face.
Ow!
Makes no sense?
I know, it gets worse.
Ooh, ah, yeah!
That thing at the wedding.
Well, at least she didn't plan that.
I told our friends getting engaged that I wasn't coming.
She asked and verified this.
She wasn't expecting to see me,
and they told her I wouldn't be there.
But once I showed up, she decided to exploit it.
She intended to have a huge scene with me
so that she could tell her estranged husband and friends
that I ambushed her because she broke off our affair.
Our affair.
Apparently, we had an affair.
Oh, what affair is that, you ask?
I did too. Apparently, the story some people got was that you ask I did too
Apparently the story some people got was that she and I were having an affair and it ended and I was stalking her
Her husband left her because he found out so people more inclined to believe her just thought that was what happened and
Wanted nothing to do with me anymore. So why did her husband actually leave?
Well, some of you called it according to her he was cheating on her a bunch and overall not a nice person.
She never actually cheated on him, but used me to pretend that she did without my knowledge.
So after the joke at the gathering, which may have indeed been in poor taste,
they had a huge fight and he left the house. As for the thing with his family, from what I gather
it was some dude sleeping with his cousin's wife or some shit it's like okay so there's that story anyways so anyway she
tells me all this insanity and tops it off with that my message really moved
her and we can still be friends the reason she rushed to show up at 7 a.m.
my message made her realize I am actually the only one who really cares
about her and everyone else in her life is fake and don't really care I'm not
the sharpest tool in the shed but now this sounds like some really manipulative
shit to me and now I'm thinking back to a lot of our previous interactions and a
lot of them also seem like that to me now. I am NOT a confrontational person
but this? Fuck no. I was done. I tell her I am done with her shit. She can get back
to her husband, leave her husband, keep any friends she wants because I am done with her shit. She can get back to her husband leave her husband keep any friends She wants because I am fucking done
I can forgive a lot, but she had basically been not communicating with me for over 15 years
I was telling her everything about my life and my feelings and I was absolutely
Appalled by just how much of a one-way street it turned out to be I feel like I didn't even really know her
So that's that there will probably not be any more updates
because this was meant to be a lighthearted post
and it turned into a total clusterfuck
and I'm just so tired and so sad.
I'm sorry if this wasn't as readable
or as coherent as my previous post.
This just happened and I am just exhausted.
My wife has been very supportive,
though I assume at some point I'm due some well-earned
I told you sos.
She knows there wasn't an affair and certainly no stalking.
And most of my friends probably know that too.
I may try reaching out to some others because, well, I don't know, maybe they were told even
worse things about me, but I am just done with this.
And now I'm going to spend what's left of this weekend with my family and try to put
this shit behind me.
Thank you all for reading and for your advice. Wow.
This is like an update for all updates.
Yeah, that's pretty incredible.
Oh my God.
Emma has lost it.
A ton of layers.
Yeah.
Wow.
Emma needs to get...
Thank God he said that.
It unveiled a whole conspiracy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
I know, if that never happened.
Yeah. He'd have never known know if that never happened. Yeah.
He'd have never known that he was stalking her.
Or that he was having an affair.
That he was like, hey man, you're having an affair
and you didn't know it.
Wow.
That was great.
I'm like speechless.
I'm like, wow.
Meanwhile, his wife is like, put it on Reddit.
This is crazy.
Put it on Reddit.
This is crazy.
Yeah, put it on Reddit.
I was like, this is wild. Oh my God, but is that kid at the pool his son?
News to say maybe
That's that's crazy. I feel for him, but he's doing he's doing everything he needs to do. He's just writing it out
Yeah, he's talking to the universe. Yeah real. Yeah doing some bits here and there I feel really bad girl
I feel really bad for her. Oh, I want to feel bad for her
I feel bad for her being cheated on but you don't go telling all these lies and no yeah
No conspiracy. She's a liar and yeah, but I like I I feel and do that
I feel bad that she's just like so not based in reality right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like when people, I remember, yeah,
just like when people so overthink things
or add meaning to something and nothing was there.
Nothing happened.
That was just shared eye contact and a shared joke
or whatever.
That doesn't mean you guys are in love.
Oh. Anyways, well, mean you guys are in love. Oh!
Anyways, well, thank you both for being here.
Thank you for having us. This was a very good group.
Yeah, these were some good stories.
This was a great group.
Thank you for watching.
Let us know what other themes and subreddits
you want to see here, and let us know your opinions
on these stories because there's a lot to interpret here. Yeah. I'm gonna be mulling these ones over. Yeah
this one's gonna take me like a week. Yeah, no a month from now I'll be like
think about it. Look at the pool it all happened. Oh my god it's all making sense now.
Can we just go back to the pool please? Let's just go back to the pool. Alright we'll
see you next weekend. Goodbye! Bye!