Smosh Reads Reddit Stories - I'm Sorry, WHAT? | Reading Reddit Stories

Episode Date: April 6, 2024

These stories are...too much. Go to http://factormeals.com/pitreddit50 and use code pitreddit50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box. 0:00-0:45 Intro 0:46-13:36 I told my friend her child’s name will ruin her life https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/1b36qs7/aita_for_telling_my_friend_she_is_ruining_her/ 13:37-29:19 My boyfriend gave away my Hamilton tickets, should we break up? https://www.rareddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4o3opw/my_29f_bf32_m_gave_away_my_hamilton_tickets_am_i/ 29:20-30:35 Sponsors! 30:36-42:17 I lied about knowing how to play the piano and now I have to play a show https://www.reddit.com/r/gratefuldead/comments/1b2s551/advice_im_meeting_up_with_a_deadhead_woman_i_met/ 42:18-51:39 I paid my wife for sex https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/199fwwx/i42m_paid_my_wife42f_for_sex_this_seems_like_a/ 51:40-01:04:47 My boyfriend can’t stop eating garlic https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1b1yt3r/aita_for_controlling_what_my_23f_boyfriend_24m/ SUBSCRIBE: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshPit WEAR OUR JOKES: https://smosh.com WHO YOU HEAR Shayne Topp // https://www.instagram.com/shaynetopp/ Amanda Lehan-Canto // https://www.instagram.com/filmingamanda/ Arasha Lalani // https://www.instagram.com/arashalalani_/ WHO YOU DON’T HEAR (usually) Director: Emily Rose Jacobson Editor: Vida Robbins Director of Programming, Smosh Pit: Emily Rose Jacobson Associate Producer, Smosh Pit: Bailey Petracek Assistant Director: Amanda Barnes Art Director: Cassie Vance Assistant Art Director: Erin Kuschner Art Coordinator: Alex Aguilar, Josie Bellerby Prop Assistant: Adam Mustafa Audio Mixer: Scott Neff Audio Utility: Dina Ramli Camera Operator: Eric Wann Director of Photography: Brennan Iketani Director of Design: Brittany Hobbs DIT/Lead AE: Matt Duran CEO: Alé Catenese EVP of Production: Zoe Moacanin EVP of Programming: Kiana Parker Executive Coordinator: Rachel Collis IT: Tim Baker Operations PA: Katie Fink Post Production Manager: Luke Baker Production Manager: Amanda Barnes Production Coordinator: Marcus Munguia Operations & Production Coordinator: Oliver Wehlander Production Assistant: Ovsana Tsaturian Senior Manager, Channel & Strategy: Lizzy Jones Channel Operations Coordinator: Audrey Carganilla Social Creative Producer: Peter Ditzler, Tommy Bowe Social Strategist: Erica Noboa, Mallory Myers Editorial Coordinator: Kim Wilborn Talent Coordinator: Selina Garcia OTHER SMOSHES: Smosh: https://smo.sh/Sub2Smosh Smosh Games: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshGames El Smosh (Spanish Dub): https://smo.sh/Sub2ElSmosh SmoshCast: https://smo.sh/Sub2SmoshCast FOLLOW US: TikTok: https://smo.sh/TikTok Snapchat: http://smo.sh/OnSnapchat Instagram: https://instagram.com/smosh Facebook: https://facebook.com/smosh Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm going back to university for zero dollar delivery fee, up to 5% off orders and 5% Uber cash back on rides. Not whatever you think University is for. Get Uber won for students. With deals this good, everyone wants to be a student. Join for just $4.99 a month. Savings may 3. Eligibility and member terms apply. After decades of shaky hands caused by debilitating dremors. Sunnybrook was the only hospital in Canada who could provide Andy with something special. Three neurosurgeons, two scientists, one movement disorders coordinator, 58 answered questions, two focused ultrasound procedures, one specially developed helmet, thousands of

high intensity focused ultrasound waves, zero incisions. And that very same day, two steady hands. From innovation to action, Sunnybrook is special. Learn more at Sunnybrook.C.A. slash special. Welcome back to Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme are stories that make you go, what? Which I feel like are all Reddit stories that we read here, but these ones especially, there's one story that I have read and it is so funny. Joining us today are Arasha and Amanda.

What? Who? Where? Why? There you go. There's today. Yeah, you understand. And that's all we have to contribute.

Yeah. Okay. Let's just hop into it. OK. All right. This first story is from like two days ago. Oh, recent. What? Fresh. I know. Huh? Let's get a one count. Okay. Am I the asshole for telling my friend she is ruining her child's life with the name she gave her.

We've had stories similar to this but... Oh Need more else. Okay, so 21-year-old woman. So I have been friends with Lorraine, who's 22, for 17 years now, and we're really close. She recently gave birth to her daughter, and she and her husband recently told us the name. They decided to name their daughter. So they named their daughter, Juliet, spelled G, H, I, U, L, I, E, T, T, E, E, E, T, E. Oh, it just kept going.

And her middle name is Mariah, M-A-H-R-I-A. I thought the spelling was a joke until she told me they are serious. I told her that with that spelling of a simple but beautiful name, it's just going to ruin that little girl's life. She got mad and told me to stop ruining her mood and that I'm being mean. I'm completely honest, the spelling is just bad. Nothing else can explain it. Why ruin such a beautiful name by including letters that don't belong there?

I texted her yesterday and told her that the little girl will try to change her or at least go by her middle name since it's normal. She told me to stop texting her, that I'm a bad friend, and that I'm being the asshole for making fun of the name. I don't that I'm the worst friend ever and that I would never be able to see her daughter again. After that, her husband sent me an email telling me to stop being so disrespectful. He thinks the spelling is cute and it just makes her unique. Unique, yes, but that's just going to make that little girl suffer and she will probably be bullied for that spelling. I haven't replied and honestly I don't then a the then. I don't then. I don't then. I don't then. I don't then. I don't then. I don't think think thin thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' thin' the. I'm the. I'm the. I'm the the theat's theat, I'm the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the thu. thus. I'm thus. I'm thus. I'm thus. I'm thus. I'm thus. I'm thean. I'm thean. tean. tell. tell. tell. tellea' tell. tellea' thean. thean. thean. I'm th't think I'm the asshole here, but I thought I'd ask Reddit since y'all are the best to judge.

So am I the asshole for telling my friend that the name she gave her daughter is bad and will ruin her life? Can we get that spelling? Yeah. Juliet spelled G-H-I-I-I-Y-E-T-T-T-E-T-T-E. So like Studio Juliet. Studio Gibliet. I think if I looked at this, I would either say,

I would maybe go with Juliet or like Guilliet. Yeah, yeah. Julia, Juliet. Gillette. Can I see what it looks like? Gillette. I'm a visual girly, too. I gotta see it. Guilet.

I think I would say Girdelie. Gullet. All right, what are your thoughts? You go. Yeah, she's the asshole. Oh, you have nothing to do with you. It has their their their their their their their their tha. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it. It's, it, it, it, it, it, it, th. th. thi. th. the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the, the, the, the, the. the. the. the. to. tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Gulle. Gulle. Gulle. Gull has nothing to do with you. It's their kid. They can name it Frankenstein for all they care. It has nothing to do with this woman. She needs to back up. Here's one thing I found out. I have sisters. Do not tell them how to raise their children. Do not give their opinion on their names. Okay. I love that. Honestly, that's that's my my my my my my my my my my that's my that's my that's my that's my that's my tea. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. T. the the t. t. t. t. t. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. to. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. tr. tr. tre. tre. tre. tre. tre. tre. tre. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. names. Okay. I love that. Honestly, that's my tea, take.

And truth, and tea. All right. You know, I, I feel like I was, I'm bringing in so much of my personal experience here because I grew up with a name that was so often pronounced like it was spelled F.G I like all these like random letters like people would just misspell it or mispronounce it and and it was sure like frustrating but by no means was my life like suffering because of my name spelling I mean mine also I think is a

different case because my name is spelled just like it sounds so thouns. So I thou, so I think I, thou, I think, I think, the the same. I, I, so I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th, th, the th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th, th, just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm. I the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the same. I mean, I the same. I mean, I'm the same. I the same. I thin, I the same. I th. I thin, I th. I mean, I'm the the the case because my name is spelled just like it's sound, just like it sounds. So I agree with you in that it's quite dramatic to say like, no, no, no, no, you cannot do that. It's funny to joke once and be like, yikes, you sure? But to just consistently be like... And then get an email if it's like, leave us alone? Yeah. It's like, oh you really, yeah. What do you gain from this? She's got like, she's acting as if it's like personal stake. Like if she was naming the child and it was a disagreement among the couple, that's a different story, but she is simply on the outside of it. I think she, her opinion was not, th. It was not, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, th. A, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, the the the the the the the to. If is to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to, to, to, to, to, to, they. to. the the the the the the the the the on the outside of it. I think she, her opinion was not asked and it is just being given and reinforced.

So a little bit of, yeah, what Amanda said, I think back up. Yeah. This is a very light relation, but you know, my name is not spelled like normal Shane. Right, right. It's never really bothered me. Yeah, why? I'll never have a coffee mug, like I never have a souvenir with my name on it, you know, it's always Shane without the why. You're one of us. It does not ruin my life by any means. I, and I also, and maybe this is like, just being out here and knowing a bunch of actors, like I feel like I know so many people with very unique names. I just, I am not someone who thinks. I their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their, their, right, right, right, their, right, right, their, their, their, their, their, their, right, right, right, their, right, their, right, right, right, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their twice about it like I don't really care about people's names to that degree.

I mean my husband's name has got a day and it's spelled H-A-R-D-Z-E-I and of course people are like whoa oh what? Yeah I can't believe it but then it then they move on and then we all get on with our day. Yes yes it's not and you never gonna have to have to have to have to have g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g g gard to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to have to to have to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to their their their their their their their their their the. the. the. their their the. their their their their their their their the. their the. to their to to to to then they move on. And then we all get on with our day. Yes, yes. It's not something. And he's never going to have Gardet spelt on a cup ever. Right, but it's just, it's like, quote unquote, the price you pay for having a very unique name. I actually, yeah, I think it's kind of like, okay again, it's a lot.

It's a lot. It's a lot. Like, we're not... It's a lot. We all agree, it's a lot. Yes. The Mariah, though, it's like, all right. It's spelled Mariah. Yeah. Yeah. But you know, she also like, later on says like, you know, your daughter's going to end up going by her middle name or something since that's normal.

And it's like, okay, maybe she know, that's, I think it's what my problem with it is that it's assigning emotions to like somebody who isn't even able to advocate for themselves yet. Like let them ultimately decide how they're gonna feel about their name, but if this friend is in the life being like, yeah, your name sucks. I tried to tell your mom. Like, that's just gonna- Let me save you. Yeah. Let me take you from this horrible home.

Don't be the hero right now. Try to be. Yeah, because even no matter how bad the name is and you go, that's a bad name. It's like, well, like, what are you're naming their kid, no matter what you think of it. And like, there are a lot of parents who name their kids crazy shit. Did she apologize? No, not as of this. I don't think she did.

That's also what's kind of missing. We know that she said, I told her that with that spelling, it's just going to ruin that little girl's life. That's all that was like, oh and then I texted her yesterday and told her that the little girl will try to change her name. So she kept doubling down. Like she kept doubling down. It's like, okay, let up. I know me in this situation. I would not press it. Like I'd be like, that is what you're naming your child. But also people can change their names. And I th. And I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. It's, th. It's, th. It's, thi, thi, thi. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, their, their, the little. It's, the little. It's, the little. It's, the little. It's, their, their, their. It's, their, their, their. It's, their. It's, the th. It's, th. It's, th. It's th. It's just, th. It's just, th. It's just, th. It's just, th. It's just, th. It's just, th. It's just, th. It's the the thi. It's the the the the their names and you know I don't think Juliet spelled weird is like a name that I would be too concerned with. Right. Like you know some people do have names where I'm like okay maybe

people will bully you in school but I also think like school is brutal and it's like they're gonna find something to bully you for like regardless. Yeah I think I think there's there's a lot going on inside of this one that that their their their their their their their their their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their their. their their their. their their their their their their their their their. I'm their their their their their their their. their their their their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm their. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I's. I'm. I's. I'm. I'm. I'm. I'm. their. their. I'm. their. their. I'm. their. I'm their. their. their. their. their. their their. I'm their. I, I think I think there's there's a lot going on inside of this one that there's definitely a lot of context missing too. But it's funny that she is the one telling this story and she deliberately has like left out a lot of the details in terms of like, like there might have been an apology or there might have been more correspondence, but it's like even in the way that she is telling this th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi the the the the thi's thi's the the the the thi. the the thi. the the thi. the the thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. thi. the thi. thi. thi. the. the. the. theeeat the. theeat the. the. theeat the. the. thea. their their the more correspondence but it's like even in the way that she is telling this story we still kind of find it quite clear that she's wrong. Yeah. And any comments? Well what I was going to say is the verdict is not the asshole. And the top comment what? What? What? Why? I actually that what was genuine? What? The top comment here? the top comment... What? What? Why? I actually that what was genuine.

What? The top comment here is Hi, I'm a high school teacher. I'll tell you up front that you're right. Kids with fucked up spellings of their names are miserable about three-fourths of the time. It's difficult to spell, people mispronounce them. the official documents, forget about it. It's one of the ways we clock parents as potentially difficult.

I keep in toucest with three students who changed their names from their parents spelling to the actual conventional spelling the minute they turned 18. That kid will be Juliet spelled normally, Mariah, as soon as she possibly can. Not the assel. That's 25,000 up votes. Whoa! You know what, what I would I actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually, I, I, I, I actually, I th. I actually, I th. I actually, I actually, I th. I th. I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I actually, I th. I actually, I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I th. I th. I th. I th. I the the the the th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I th. I, I th. I, I th. I th. I th. I to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the. the. I the. I th 25,000 upfow. I actually, you know what, what I, what I actually, I actually feel so bothered by that. Really? I don't, I don't agree with that at all.

I actually, I'm like in- There are people from other countries who have wild spelling that's not, that's totally different. I think it's the language that's really kind of upsetting me here in that fucked up versus normal. Like we need to question these, these, like, rituals. Why your name's spelled like a certain way? And just because it has been that way for so long, that doesn't mean it's normal, that just means it's, it's, it's recent or it's the pattern that has been created. but just because there's a new spelling that's introduced does not make it abnormal.

I'm starting. Oh, I'm heated. Get you to the today. What? What? But I'm also just like, this teacher's like, yeah, it's fucked up, fucking fat. It's like, what?

You're a teacher? And you what, though, though, though, though, though, though, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, thi, the, tho, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.. the, I. the, I. the, I... the, I.. the, the, the, the, the, the, th... the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, to.. toe.. too, too, too, too, too, too, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, Ithough? I also want to acknowledge that I hear where he is maybe coming from, in that he has had direct experiences with a lot of students, and they have had a terrible experience with their names. Like, that sucks, and I think it's cool that he is saying, like, hey, hold on, like, this is me trying to like fight for this kid to not have a miserable........ I thin, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. thi. thi. th. th. thi. th. thi. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. this kid to not have a miserable childhood. But I think at the end of the day, it goes back to the opinion was not asked for. Yes, I agree. I grew up constantly spelling my name to people, and I don't personally think that it made me suffer.

I don't think that it ruined my childhood or ruined my life. Yes, it certainly made me feel different from that it ruined my childhood or ruined my life. Yes, it certainly made me feel different from the rest of my the class. It certainly made me an outlier but like it's kind of cool now. Yeah, I'm curious, I think it's one that in the comments, if people commenting if they have names that they can relate to this story. Yeah. What they, what their personal experiences were and what they think of this th thi thi thi th th th th thi th th thi thi th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi thi their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their their thi thi thi te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. their their their their their their their te names that they can relate to this story. Yeah. What they, what their personal experiences were and what they think of this too, you know? Like I think, because I, with my name, I can't really relate to that.

But, you know, it's interesting. I think, I think what's tough here is that these comments are talking about the parents and if they're assholes for naming their kid that. And what we're talking about is the etiquette of, like, was it your place to give that opinion? Was it your place? Like, you know what I mean? There's two separate things going on. So most people think that this woman who wrote that is not the asshole for telling them that they're ruining their kids life. I actually just haven't been so angered by a Reddit story before.

I feel like I've been able to navigate both sides for so long, but this one I just, I actually am feeling so bothered by. Interesting. But again, I kind of, I know it's, again, it's not the same as you as you too, Shane, but it's also not the same as this person because again, mine isn't as complicated. It could be much more intricate and it could be pronounced completely different than how it's spelled. So I, in all fairness, can't also advocate for that side as strongly to. Well, it's also, it's, you know, it's one of those things like these are our feelings about it. Clearly people have different feelings regarding this. And so, and so, and so, and so, and so, and so, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, the thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi thii thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, thi, thi, thi, thi, it's, you know, it's one of those things, like, these are our feelings about it. But clearly, people have different feelings regarding this.

And so, you know, it's interesting. I'm curious. Was it just the teacher that commented? There were other comments, but that was like the most poignant. That was like the most upvoted one. So that, I think it reflects a lot of the comments. Yeah, um, all right, well, let's move on. Let's move on. Here's our next story. This is from 2016. This is a little old school. I was in high school. Well, that makes me sick.

Here we go. The 29-year-old woman, my boyfriend, who's 32, gave away my Hamilton tickets. Am I being selfish for just wanting to break up over this? Oh, What? What? Huh? Why? Based on that title alone, what do you think?

So he gave away the Hamilton tickets? He gave away Hamilton tickets. Okay, it better have been for a lot of money. Throw away because while I'm fairly sure he, uh, or, he's the family, uh, the, what, what, what, what, what, what, the, the, the, the, to, what, to, what, to, what, to, what, what, to, what, to, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. th. the th. the th. the the th. the th. to, to, to, to, to, the the to? to? the the to? the to? to? to? the to? to? What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, th. th. th. th. th. the Hamilton tickets? He gave away Hamilton tickets. Okay, it better have been for a lot of money. Throw away because while I'm fairly sure he or his family doesn't read it, I would rather be safe than sorry. Backstory, my mom is genuinely one of the funniest, kindest, sweetest, I've ever met, and I'm genuinely lucky to have been her daughter. She had me fairly young, raised me by herself, and while we were pretty poor growing up, she did her damned us to make sure that I got a good education and had everything I needed as a kid. One of the things we share is a love of the theater. She would save up

and take me to all the musicals that stopped on tour in our town, and while we were always in the cheap seats today. Corporate side, I have a horrendous singing voice, LOL. Fast forward to today, like most theater nerds, my mom and I are basically obsessed with Hamilton. And for those of you who aren't really familiar with it, this show, this show, to me and my mom. this show is basically impossible to get the's to get to get to get to get a a to get a to get a thea, to get, thea, thea, thea, thea, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, I'm, and, I'm, and, I, and, and, and, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I's, I in a financial position with my job that I could afford tickets for a show in July for me and my mom. These are amazing seats, fifth row center. And through some type of divine intervention, I managed to snag tickets for the night of Lynn Manuel Miranda's final performance.

I surprised my mom with these tickets back in December. I bought them in October, I think, for Christmas. I'm making a whole week of it. I put us in in a really nice hotel. I made reservations at a bunch of restaurants that we both want to try, and we're going to do a bunch of touristy shit in general. Plus, try to see if we can fit in at least one other show before we leave. We're both incredibly excited for this. My mom even has a little Hamilton that's that that that that that a planner. She sends me picks every day when she changes it. It's cute. In January, I began dating this guy that I'll refer to as Josh. We were casual slash not exclusive for a while but became serious within the last two months.

He also works in the corporate site of entertainment, but at a different agency than I do. He also has a higher position than me and makes a lot more money than than than than than than than than than We met at an industry event and we hit it off instantly. I thought I could get really serious about this guy and up to this point there have been no red flags that I've seen. Although right now I'm sifting through all of my memories to see if there's something I missed. He also comes from a much wealthier family than I do. Josh has a younger sister that I'll call Jennifer, 17, that's kind of of th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, and I th, th, and I'm th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, and I'm thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, their, thi, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thr-a, thr-a, thr-au-au-au-au-a' thr-a' thr-a' thr-a, thr-a, thi, thi, and I thi, who's 17, that's kind of going through a big troubled teen phase. She cuts class, smokes, and is really disrespectful to her parents. I've only met her once, but as far as I know, she's not doing anything too bad. She's just kind of a sad kid and could really benefit from some therapy.

I floated this by Josh, but hetrying to get her to a counselor, but whatever. Actual problem time. Sunday night, I was at my place with Josh. We were drinking wine and cuddling while watching the Tony's theater award show in parentheses. Oh, oh, oh. Got it.

I didn't say anything off but he was acting kind of strange after. He asked me what date the show we were going to was. I told him and then he went into the other room to take a phone call. I thought nothing of it because we both have to take random phone calls like that for our jobs all the time and times and times and times and ti and ti. ti. the ti. ti. the ti. the ti. the ti. the the the the to to to the to the to to to to to to the the to to to to the the the to to to to to to to to to the to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. the. the. the. the. the. thean tean tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. tea. toea toea thea the the the the the the the the, and he's going through some kind of tough time it is. He was in an unusually good mood afterwards and said he had to go home early because he had to sign some forms at the office early tomorrow, before we met up to get brunch with his parents later that day. Again, nothing too unusual and pretty common with the both of us. He picks me up at work for brunch with his parents, and again, he's in unusually good mood. I ask what's up, and he says vaguely

that things are going well at the office, and this deal he's trying to make is finally going through. I don't really press for info because we both try to avoid work topics, partially due to work shit being fairly banal, and partially because we both have to sign some pretty narly narly n-aeses.ss............. the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th th thi. thi. thi. thr-n' th thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the th. the the th. the th. th. th. the th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. thr. thr. thr. ttttttttttttttttttth. thr. thr. the. the. the. thethe time. And this is only my second time meeting his parents, so I'm still a bit nervous about brunch. We get to the brunch place and the first thing his mom does when she sees me is gives me a huge warm hug and profoundly thanks me for my kindness. Her dad also gives me a huge handshake and thanks me for helping out with Jen. I'm kind of what the fucking. I'm kind of what the fucking. I'm a the the fucking. the fucking. tapk. tap. tta tta t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t tm. I'm, the the the the the the th. the the the their. th their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t t true. true. true. tm. true. true. tm. true. tm. true. true. the, for giving her the Hamilton tickets. I turn around to Josh and he just has this big grin on his face. Reddit, that time my boyfriend was away talking on the phone for business, he was actually on the phone with Jen

promising that I would give her my Hamilton tickets. I was so thrown off that I, kind of not very tactfully, I admit, say how I had I had I had th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. that, that, that, that, throwne, thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown thrown that, that, that, that, that, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, th. That, thi. That's thi. That's thr. That's thr. I'm thrown thrown thrown the, the, thrown the, the, thrown thrown the, thrown thrown this. Josh looks pissed and his parents are equally thrown off. But instead of getting mad at Josh, his mom just says, well, you can still give them to her though, right? And they all look at me like I'm supposed to just agree with this. I try to explain that the trip is actually for me and my mom, and how important this is thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thr-a, thri. thri. thri. toeeeeeei. thr-a. toeei. thrown, thr-a, throwne, th my mom, all three of them start going on about how Jen is super excited about this, and that this is the first time that she's not been mad slash expressed happiness to them in a while.

And that's how the next half hour goes basically. Until the parents leave mad, and the dad's call, and the dad calls me a selfishness. I'm so flab-I that that that th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I's th. I's th. their their th. th. I's th. th. that, that, that, that, that, their that, the, the, the, the, the, the, that, that, that, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th................................... And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th.. And, th. And, th. And, th. And, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. th. the. th. the. th. th I go outside the brunch place and he starts screaming at me about my selfishness and how Jen is going through a much harder time than they thought. He wasn't clear on this, so I'm not quite sure what he meant, and that I'm being childish because it's just a musical. I hate having arguments in public. Also, this is one of my favorite brunch spots and I wanted to be able to be able to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to be to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to come to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the tha.. throoooooooooooooo. thea. thea. try. thea. thea. thea. thr. thr. thr. I. I. I. I'm th thea. I wanted to be able to come back without being embarrassed, so I wasn't really engaging. He eventually called me a cunt, what the fuck, and then left in his car, which is awkward

as hell because it was a valet parking so he was just kind of stewing by the valet stand while I was waiting for my Uber. Later that night I text him saying, while I wasn't giving up my tickets, the tickets, their tickets, the ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket ticket the a date date date date date date date date date date is is still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still still. thea. their stuff. their stuff. their st. the their stuff. their st. their st. their. their. their. their. their. their. It's is still. It's is still. It's is still. It's is still. It's is still. It's is still. It's is still. their. their. their. their. the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttte. tttttttt.,500 due to ticket scalpers jacking up the price. Believe me, this is not a problem for either of the parents or my boyfriend. He literally bought a $3,000 watch for Fonzie's last week. The only response I got was that that was an exorbitant fee. I agree, but not the point. He refuses to pay, and he didn't understand why I couldn't just give the t Jen. I also got text from both his parents pleading with me to get the tickets, and also they forward an email to me that Jen sent to Josh and her parents thanking him for the surprise. Apparently she's also obsessed with Hamilton and this is making her year. Also, we live

in LA. Do they also expect me to give up my plane ticket slash hotel? What the fuck was their game plan here? Look, I completely understand wanting to help.........that apparently her family is filled with weirdos, but this has been also baffling in the entitled behavior they displayed as a massive turnoff. I'm not giving up these tickets. Is this selfish? But I also kind of want to cut my losses here. The attitude Josh displayed towards me while, and I don't get why he decided to do this now at all. But should I contact Jen and explain at all? I just saw that she made a really excited post on Facebook about it. I'm not friends with her, but I'm friends with my boyfriend and he liked her post. I would straight up by the t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. t. I. I. I. I. I. I. I'm, th. I'm, th. I'm, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. I'm, th. I'm, th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. the. the. the. the. the. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to theeeeeeeeeee those prices because I'm saving up for the New York City trip for my mom. How do I move forward? Oh my God.

She should kill him. Break up with that, mother fucker! As I was reading it, I was like, you know what, maybe he should die. Maybe, maybe dump him and then dump his body. Like, he actually murdered this man. That is wild. That I, my, everything inside me was shutting down. No, I'm gagged. My system was like, v. I, her comment where she's like, I'm looking back and seeing all the red flags and I'm like, there's no fucking way this guy didn't have a million red flag. Probably had a, I cannot believe the parents called her a selfish cow.

Yeah. Well, no, this family's a nightmare. Okay, first of all, I'm really glad that I was worried that he sold the tickets and they were gone. Yes. And I was getting really overwhelmed. Me too. I thought it was going to be something with like the agency where he was like, I need to close a deal so he gave the tickets. And I was like, uh- Uh- Uh- Uh- Oh, uh- I- I- I- I- I- I- I th- I th- I th- I th- I thi thi- I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I thi-I so he gave the tickets, and I was like, uh-oh. And the mom was sending photos. She had a checklist. She was ready to go to Hamilton.

It's their thing. It's their thing. They were young. Why would he take that? Because he's evil and needs to die. Let's bury him under the brunch place. Done. Done. We're going. All right. It's been eight years guys. You're coming? You could be dead. Let's look at the obituary. Here's the thing. Jen, I get it. 17 year olds are going through a tough time, but tickets aren't going to solve her. And let's be

clear. Jen's, her day is not going to be ruined because of her. Her year's going to be ruined because of her family, lying to her, and making up all this bullshit, and that they're not willing to just buy the tickets for her. She probably would be so upset knowing that that would be taken away from this thing. No, that's actually like just full of absurd, ridiculous. thi to unravel and fully just stopped making sense at a certain point. It was that bad. I feel bad for her because you know there's a lot of people like this and like of people who they are so harsh on themselves that they're not realizing how much of a monster someone is because at the end here after she wrote out this story she's like I am not thi thi thi. thia-thanith-is this this this this is thi this is thi. this is thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi thi the just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just just thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. their. their thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. the. to to to to to to to to to thi. their the. the end here, after she wrote out this story,

she's like, I am not giving up these tickets. In parenthesis, is this selfish? It's like, how are you questioning that? What are you saying? How are you possibly questioning that? This is your thing. That you worked hard for. I completely like hear that, this person has clearly never been validated. They've only been made to feel like that they are wrong,

to doubt themselves, to be insecure about their thoughts. So they do have to genuinely reach out to a community and say, am I crazy? I can only assume that this guy in their few months of dating has been so controlling, and she thinks it's normal. And this finally where he and he clearly thought he could just do this like here she was talking about like I'm going I got tickets with my mom and he's sitting there going oh I can just take those yeah those are mine there's so right like he is so messed up that he's thinking just yeah I'll be able to and he assumed he would try to thu to to to to to to to to to to to to to to be to be to to to to to be to to be to to to to to thi I I I I thi to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to they. the the to to to to to to to to to to to to they. they. they. I they. they. I they. they. they. they. they. they. they. the they. the the the the the the the the they. they. the they. He's the the they. He's the the they. He's the the the thi. I thi. thi. thi. thi. the the the try. try. the the. the the the the they. the they. he they. the do. And he assumed he would say that, and she'd go, oh, yeah. That's what he thought was going to happen.

So much control. And he was so mad when it didn't work. Yeah, he called her a con outside her favorite brunch place. That is a crime. Yeah. And I love that. I wasn't going to fight back because I want to come back to this brunch this. I know, I know. I fully want to say like, it's, yes, it's like it's heartbreaking that she doesn't understand that it is so selfish of him to do, but I do want to take a second

and actually acknowledge how empathetic this woman is. Yeah. And that gets taken advantage of. Yes, in her whole response, she does not like blow her top at all. She's continuing to be like, they called me this. And you know what I understand, I I I I I I I I I I I I I th. I th. I th. I th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi's, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. th. th. th. th. th. at all. She's continuing to be like, they called me this. And you know what, I understand, because they're clearly going through a lot in their, inside of their family. You don't owe them that in this moment. And it's like, oh, oh, honey, like you have clearly, you have so many great tools. And it sounds like she's had a great tool.! Hamilton! So cute, so great,

let's also be clear. Let's also be clear, they're going through a lot, they have the money to buy these tickets. Right. They could have just gone, you know what, she's taking her mom, that's a great idea. We should buy tickets for Jen. Right. No, they clearly, they don't want to do shit for Jen. the. Also, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's. they's. they's. they. they. the the their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. their. they're, their. they're, they're they're they're they're their their their their their their their their their they're they're they're their they're they're their the.apy, man. Yeah, actually, like, hashtag, take gender therapy. Jen's miserable because that's her family. Exactly. Yeah, justice for Jen. Yeah. Justice for Jen and the brunch place. No, I guarantee you, Jen's probably like, I fucking hate them.

Is there any update? No, but there's some comments here. Lynn didn't go on that night. Top comment. I would dump him. It's not just about the tickets, but the lack of respect. He chose not to tell you and waited for it to come out in public in hopes that you'd step down to avoid making a scene. You sound like you have a good relationship with your mom. Take her to the show. Good mom's are forever.

Boys are the. He waited. He waited till there was a bunch of people at her brunch spot and let someone else say it so that he set up the whole chest trap. Insane. OP responded to that, saying, yeah, I'm typing up an email dumping him right now. Normally, I think it's better to meet up in real life for things like this, but his behavior both during an outside brunch was scary and I would prefer not to be alone with him right now. Maybe that's paranoid but better safe than sorry. I think this is one of the, I think this is one of those situations where everything was so crazy and they were acting like this is totally normal behavior that I thought I was the insane one. Another comment. There was a really similar post to this during Christmas where the O.P.P. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. O. Oh. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. Oh, th. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. P. I is this. this is this is this is a this is a this. I is a th. this is this is this is this is this is one, this is one, this is one, this is one, this is one, this is one, this is one, th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is th. I is, th. I is. I is. I is. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I, th. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. I. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. this is this is this is this is th the O.P. made this beautiful cat vase for her mom by hand.

It took months and the boyfriend gifted it to his mom in front of her and expected the O.P. to just go along with it. The O.P. said there was a mix-up and the boyfriend's mom was so crushed. He reacted the same way this O.P.S. tolling think. Lastly, we have someone said, erase yourself from the narrative. Queen. Yes. Queen.

OPE said all the Hamilton puns in here are killing me in the best way. I can only assume there is a bunch. Yeah, no, I mean, look, I don't, I think at any stage in a relationship if your partner calls you a cunt, that's... If you said, you know, I'm going to break up with him, I'd be like, yeah, that's fair. Had they been married for 20 years and this happened, that's grounds to get rid of an entirely... This is like two months in. This guy is a nightmare. That one really made me go. What? I have a feeling, I have a feeling, that shit's common. Oh. Also in the comments, let me know if,

if that has happened to you or if someone has done. Is that common? I think, I think like, just that type of controlling behavior of like, just being like, that's mine. Like, everything's mine. And just, and just like treating other your pawns. Yeah. It's just his family and people around him that he cares about. And oh, this girl, oh yeah, well, her life doesn't matter because she only exists as an extension of me for the last two months.

You see where he got it from. I mean, his parents. Yeah. And Jen's like probably living her life. Oh God, yeah. Justice for Jen. Let's hear it. Let's hear it.

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at 50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box, plus 20% off your next box, plus 20% off your next box, while your subscription is active. Back to the show. Next story. Okay, so that story got you. Next story. Okay. So that story got you really pissed off. This next story I have read, and it is the funniest Reddit story I've read in a long time. It made me laugh so hard. Okay. All right.

This comes from the Grateful Dead subreddit. For Grateful Dead fans. It's the guy. So my character on Goldbergs was a Grateful Dead fans. It's the guy. So my character on Goldbergs was a Grateful Dead. You know what the Grateful Dead is? Grateful Dead's a band. They're a band from like the 70s. And they have, but they have a cult following.

But they're a band. They're a great band. Jerry Garcia was the lead singer. Cherry Garcia is... That's Jerry Garcia. That's Grateful Dead. Oh my God, I was always like, who's Garcia? It's a super influential band, but the fan base for it is like hardcore. They follow, they are like,

it's a whole lifestyle. It's a whole bunch of things. I actually went to a Grateful Dead concert a couple years ago. And I luckily didn't get recognized by too many, I got recognized by one guy, but I'd played a deadhead on TV for years, but I didn't actually know a ton about the Grateful Dead. So if someone came up and really grilled me, I'd have been like, yeah! You know I'm an actor, right? But I have listened to Grateful Dead. Like I made sure I wasn't, like, I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was I was to I was to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to recognize to recognize to recognize to to to to to to recognized to to recognized to recognized to to recognized to recognized to to recognized to to to recognized to to to recognized to to to to recognized to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi the. I the an thean. I thean. I got recognized thean. I got recognized by thean. I got recognized by thean. I got recognized by to to to, right? But I have listened to Grateful Dead. Like I made sure I wasn't like, I was trying to do my part as it.

You did your research. But it's like a bunch of old hippies smoking a ton of weed, super tie-ships. These songs, they have songs that just go for like ever. And they're just riffing.. A thi-a-a-I songs-I songs-a-I songs-a-I songs-I songs-a-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I have thozyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzyzy. th-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. I I I's is thi-a. I's is thi-s. th-s. th-s. I's-s. th-s. tha-s. tha-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-sa-s. I have-sthing. Ed Vise. I'm meeting up with a deadhead woman. I met online and I told her I was Jeff Chimente's piano teacher. I don't know anything about the piano, unfortunately. Turns out her dad is in a dead cover band, and he booked a show at his church in her hometown. He wants me to play the show.

Ha ha ha! So, I believe Jeff Chimenti plays with, like, like, like, me to play the show. So I believe Jeff Chimente plays with like, plays like their concerts nowadays and stuff. I'm not, I'm not entirely sure. But- What was the lie there that he was? So he said he was his piano teacher. So this, this professional keyboardist, he said that he was their piano teacher. Now he's talking to a woman online.

So they've never met in person, but they've clearly been talking a long time. Oh, so it's okay. And he's like, yeah, I'm their piano teacher. Hell yeah, just lying. And so now he's in a very curbier enthusiasm place. Yeah, absolutely. This is definitely a mistake. The show is next weekend. This woman just told me he paid $4,000 to rent the church

and they're going to name the vacation Bible school after him this summer because of the money. His wife is fucking pissed because the 4K was supposed to be for their 40th anniversary trip to Alaska. He's actually been staying at the woman I'm talking to online's house because house because the wife can't believe he did it. This woman I'm talking to is a graphic designer and he paid her to design a poster that features my name prominently. It looks like an old-time movie poster. She shared it on Facebook and tag me and a bunch of people that know me were commenting, what the fuck? This dad just bought a B3 organ off a buddy for me to play. He's invited all his friends. He's invited his ex-wife. She also told me that his buddy is the drive-time DJ on the small local radio station

and keeps doing show announcements for this concert. Again, prominently featuring my name. He owns a diner in town and has renamed all the lunch specials in the show's honor, and one of the sandwiches, one of the sandwiches, the sandwiches, the sandwiches, And one of the, one of the sandwiches, once again, prominently features my name. Shut up! This is, this is like the crowning event of this man's life. How do I get out of this nightmare?

So this man has a week to learn piano. Oh, just to learn the basic. No, and he can't show up. And mind you, like I said, like, like, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, tha, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, the th, the th, the th, the th, the the the the th, tho, the the th, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, th.. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. tho, tho, thoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, th. th. th. th. th. th. these has to come clean. And mind you, like I said, Grateful Dead stuff is like, it's, it's low. It's like riffing. It's like you've got to be good. Like, jazz, right? Yeah, it's, it's, I would say, I'm not a music person as people know. I would say, yeah, it's kind of like, you got to know, jazz. I know jazz. There might be comments that are like, you're comparing Grateful Dead to jazz and that's funny, but I think just in the terms of like you got to improvise. I'm comparing it to how long it can go. Also fish concerts. How long they go on forever.

I would say it's comparable to fish, but I'm not a music person so so don't get mad at me. But I would say he can't get away with the basics on this one. This is so funny. This feels like a national lampoon movie. Like it feels like a movie where I'm cringing. It just feels like Seinfeld. Like this is a George move. I was going to say it's quite literally building as an improv scene would. Where it's just like the Flyers got the name on it.

Oh, and every diner in town is serving this big sandwich. It just feels like I picture Jerry and George at the diner. And Jerry's just like, so you told her that you can play the piano? I told her I can play the piano. Like, it's just, now I got a lurtle. I watched that show. Like that. You weren't born after that show was done. Oh my God. Everything hurts.

Right here on this count. Everything hurts inside. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, top comment. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out which song slash Seinfeld episode this is from. Whoa!

Whoa! Yeah, holy shit. Also, this family just immediately believed him? Well, they didn't know, right? Didn't fact check? She's been talking to him. He must have gone in depth because they've been talking online for, I assume a while. And he's th, why, why, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th, th, th. th. this is, this is, this is, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. talking to him. He must have gone in depth because they've been talking online for I assume a while and he's telling her. I'm this guy's piano teacher I'm a piano player like he probably went all in because he was thinking like this will really impress her when we meet up I'll get laid

that's probably what he's thinking and now this is the outcome. Also it's this is what messes me up with cring things things things things things th. the outcome. Also it's it's this is what messes me up with cringy things. I'm now thinking about the wife who can't go to Alaska. That's what I'm really. Oh yeah there's an asshole inside. There's a bunch of there's a bunch of shit going on. I'm thinking about this. I just love that this guy brought that up because he's like there's so many stakes now like he's just like oh the the the the the there's there's there's there's there's there's there's there's the there's there's the the there's like there's like there's like there's like there's like there's there's like their there's like there's there's there's there's there's th so their the the. thi. thi. thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. the. the. the. the. theee. theeee. theee. theeee. thee. the. What I do think is crazy is that this guy just booked this venue and put him in it without being like, do you want to play in it? Right. Like, where's the booking letter? One if they want to perform in a show before telling them their performance.

And the daughter's like, isn't it great, dad? He needs to to, like to, like, like, like, like, like, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't, isn't it, th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thto put his hand on a table and get a hammer. He needs to do something. He needs to go on task grab it and say someone needs to help me get in a horrible accident. I need someone to attempt to assassinate. That is not what I would think he needs to do. He needs to come clean. Oh right.

Right. He can't do it. He can't do it. No, he's too far gone. He could get up there and just start performing some stand-up. No, the funniest thing, the funniest thing he could do at this stage is to just keep going. Like just go there, get up there and be like. What? Hey, I made it this far? What world would you think that's okay? Look, and maybe the clout will carry him. He goes, he goes, one, two, three. He plays chopsticks. Listen, clearly, clearly they care way more about just this clout,

that he was the piano teacher. So I bet he goes up there and he performs like, shit, and they love it. They're like, oh my god. You're like, the this is inspired. Yeah. Oh, guys. You just need to be like, you guys aren't on my level. Oh my God. Okay, other comments. Only one thing to do, show up and fake it. Just hammer on the white keys. Get real weird and naked during the performance.

And then when the show is over, jump up on the piano bench and bellow out, Lordy Jesus, we went the way the way the way the way the way the way went the way went the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the way the wayagger out of the church, hi-fi anyone that looks engaged. If you get a second date, then you know she's a keeper. Someone said, OPE, does your car have an airbag? And are you attached to it? Because you're gonna need to hold the inside of the steering wheel and let that airbag break all 10 of your fingers. When you do this, you need to listen to going down the road,

When you do this, you need to listen to going down the road feeling bad. Someone else said, you're going to need to get some plaster casting material and just tell them you broke both arms. Also how old are you? I would hope one of them noticed Jeff Chimente learned piano in 1975. Or maybe you're 80 years old, I want this to be real. My thought is that this is an older dude. I'm loving everybody. I thiiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuuu. I thi. I thi. I thi. I am th. I am thi. I am thoing th. I am thoing th. I am th. I am thoing th. I am th. I am th. I am tho. I am thoing tho. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. the. the. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. the. the. the. the. the. the. ththis is an older dude. I've been picturing him as at least like 60 or 70. I am I am loving everybody jumping on the bandwagon of we are going to tell you exactly how to execute this lie. Yeah.

It feels like a Bill Murray movie like oh yeah. Like him in the cast just like oh man I wish. No I love. Look I hate. I hate. Oh, I'm kidding. What movie was he in? R. th? Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I wish, I, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, oh, oh, oh, I wish, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I wish, I wish, oh, I wish, I wish, I wish, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish. Oh, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, Iock no I'm kidding I'm kidding RIP What movie was he in RIP He's alive Goodwill hunting Get I'm kidding I'm kidding I wanted to see all of you jump out of your seats which I got What other movies again all of you just went like what other movies yet so what other movies?

What other movies yet? So what's the update? She doesn't know who he is! She doesn't know who Bill Murray is. Listen, you want me to kiss... You're losing your mind. I'm gonna rip these tights off my legs. What would you do in this situation? I would confess? What's it? What situation?

Well, yeah, okay, to be honest, I would never stand the cringe. I would go, I have an awful confession to make and then block her from everything. I hate lying and I cannot do it, but I think it's so funny when people lie about shit where you're just definitely not going to get away with it. Like, you're not gonna get away. My theory, I have a theory on this story after I read it. I think she knows for sure he's lying. And I think this is all like a trick on him. To get him to come complete.

Then she's a keeper. She's going to break up with him after. Honestly, if she's going to go that far, I love that. No, that's an amazing elaborate scheme. I think she's known for a while. I think she's she's she's she's, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th. th. thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi's thi. thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii's thi's thi's thi. thi's for a while. I think she's just like, I think as soon as he said that, she was like, really, that's awesome. And I think she's just been having fun with this ever since. Oh, Queen, yeah, that's absolutely. That's my theory on this. She's got to be doing that. Because again, it's like, it fan, she probably knows a lot of this information. Probably trying to look up, but she looked up Jeff Chimente, it's gonna, like, you're gonna get that result on Wikipedia.

Right, and she just was like, wait, even if you were his piano teacher, I don't want to date you because you're 80. No. I wish there was an update. I know. It's only from a couple from's Google. That. That had piano teacher, player, minor. Spencer, Spencer sent it to me. We were talking about it this weekend and he's just like, better start playing the piano. We were just like laughing at it. That is so funny. We need to find all of these men. I know. And Bill Murray we need to find him. Yeah, yeah. But you know, all right, we won't find him. Okay. Next story. This is a 42-year-old man.

I paid my wife, who's 42 for sex. This seems like it's for looking to him. Amen. Because you were, you were, you guys are sitting there laughing and I'm like I made my wife 42 for sex I'm like I feel like I got out of ear reaction to it Guys we have we're gonna get through four stories I sorry sorry sorry this comes from relationship advice Okay, this comes from relationship advice. I a 42 year old man my wife, who's also 42, for sex. This seems like a terrible mistake, but I can't tell how bad yet.

Okay. I've been married to my wife for 14 years. We have two daughters, eight and five. For the first few years, we had a good sex life. Then it dropped back significantly. She stopped instigating and would decline if I did. When I ask, she has several reasons she rotates through. We're too old, nobody has sex very often,

or she's too big now. She gained... People don't have sex anymore. It's true. I never have. Nobody has sex. Nobody has sex. thiax.

She gained a lot of weight, and I know it bothers her, but I can't say which came first. She she she she she she she she she she she she she th. She the th. She the th. She th. She th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thoes, thi. thoom. thoom. thi. thi. thi. thoomoom. thoom. thoom. thoom. tho, tho, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th th th thi. thi. thin, thin, the the to thin. to the to to thin. to to the thin. to to the the thi thi thi thi thi. thi. first. She always seems to believe we've had sex in the last week or two, even if it's been six months. Since the kids were born, we have sex three or four times a year, usually twice around Christmas and once or twice in the spring and fall. It's the same every time, the way she's decided it should be. I rub her back and neck, she gives me a couple squeezes and tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie tie ti ti, ti, ti, tie, tie, tie, tie, tie, ti, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, three three three three three three three three, three, three, three, three, three, three, three, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, ti, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi,'m loving this. Hold on, hold on, let me read this. I rub her back in neck. She gives me a couple squeezes and tugs. I go down on her because it's the fastest and most reliable way for her to have a couple

orgasms. Then she lays on her back impatiently while I climb on top. It's not ideal. This Christmas, I got her a small gift she really appreciated. Afterwards, when he had Christmas sex, she went down on me briefly, which she hadn't done in years and asked if there was anything else I wanted. I asked if she'd get on top and wear lingerie. She said it wasn't that nice a gift. I told her I'd get her two more. She wanted something else instead, and we ended up naming a dollar amount.

At the time I really didn't care that it was weird or might have repercussions. A few days later she mentioned something expensive she wanted to buy. I gave her money for it, and that led to her cheerfully giving me the first blowjob I've had in years. It's continued happening since then. Part of me is thrilled. I like that we are having sex. I like th th th th that that the their their their, I liked, I liked, I their, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, th, th, th, th. I'm, th. I'm, their, thi, thin, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi, thi, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, thr-s, togu, today, thr-s, thr-a, thr-s, thr-a, thr-a, thr of me is thrilled. I like that we are having sex. I like that there is variety, and I like that I get input into what we do. I've been in a really great mood all year and so as she. On the other hand, it seems like this is probably offensive and insulting. It seems like I'm too close to the situation and am heavilythan in the last three combined. Am I being paranoid or is this going to blow up in my face? You know, I just feel like if I was sitting on the couch

with anybody else or if it was any other video, I would be more logical but I can't help but be like, this is awesome. This is awesome. Christmas sex! He's just like, I went down on you. All right. Is that over? I, yeah, yeah, yeah, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, thi, I, thi, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I thi, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I just, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I th, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I thi, I'm just, I'm just, thi, thi, thi., thi. thi. thi. thi. I just thi. I just thi. I just just thi, I just thi, I just, I just, I went down on you. All right, let me climb on top. She's like, I said over, yeah. Like, it's Christmas.

That's Christmas time. But maybe because she's like getting presents and that makes her horny. She loves. She's got a little, she's got a little material kink. She's a material, girl. She's a material girl. A material woman. It seems like I really thought you guys were going to get mad.

No, no, no, I'm a little baffled by this story. She was like, da da da da da da. All right, get over here. Ho! Ha! Ha ha ha! Okay, so he's asking for advice now. What is he asking for? He's asking advice if this is good,

if this is like right. He's getting sex and you're happy and your wife is cheerful, keep paying her. Give her all the money you can if you're having a good time. As long as it's just not on Christmas all the time. Oh my God. No, Christmas came early. It came. No, like, they.. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. they. they. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this. this is this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. this. th. this. this. this. this. this. th. th. this is. thi. thi. thi. thi. this is. this is. this is. this is good. this is. this is. this is. this is. this is. this. this. on Christmas all the time. Oh my God. I don't think it's just, no he's saying throughout the year. Yeah, Christmas came early.

It came. No, like, they're, this is like now their regular thing that. She's like, yeah. Oh yeah, all the, so all the time, he's like, I want, they talk. Okay. Hell yeah. I mean, again, I genuinely think it's a it's awesome. It's a material thing. She like, she wants to be a little sugar baby that like turns her on. Yeah, maybe that does turn her on. Which is, you know, if he feels happy to provide that for her, I guess it becomes

yes. Yes. Mutually beneficial? Okay. What I'm thinking is like, okay, if they both agree on this, if they're both consenting to this situation, then fine. I think that it's like they're not solving the issue here necessarily. No, definitely not. Some comments here, I don't necessarily disagree with what is being said, but should we also think about how OP feels in all of this? what does he actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually the the the thi actually thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi.P. feels in all of this? What does he actually want from the sex he gets? Is it just the active sex?

Does he like to feel attractive, to feel desired? Because this dynamic might not lead to the outcome that OP actually wishes for. Even though sometimes he might feel like beggars can't be choosers and except what little he gets? If it doesn't actually align with what he is looking for, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to.. to. to. to. to. to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to ta, tha. tha. tha. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea. to to in a perfect world, sure, I'd like to feel attractive and desired and a connection and all that. But honestly, I'm not that deep and sometimes a blowjob is really, really awesome. I'm dead. Okay.

You bring in logic that grounds us and then it's like, of course there's true feeling. He's like, actually no, I don't want a connection. I want a B. He's like, this is a whole, like, lengthy paragraph of like, yeah, one day, maybe I can be attracted, but you know, I really like, my dick is suck. Wow. If I met this couple, and they were just like, this couple and this is our situation.

this is our situation our situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation situation. We're wea. Another comment, money is sexy. Motherhood? Not so much. It sounds like fantasy role-playing has reignited your marital sex life. A lot of people commenting aren't married and don't understand how being with someone a long time can sometimes lead to, shall we say, exploration. This sounds like a harmless form of a kink. Healthy marriages definitely can and do feature sexual exploration. Someone said, take it as a win start dating her again Make sure to compliment her often see if this is the start of something good

I do agree with that That's what I mean like if this is like a mutually agreed upon thing that's like But I think they're falling into it without like acknowledging what it might be sure I definitely think it's a new kink I think that they're unlocking something and they're exploring And I'm happy I thin. they they they th they th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th I thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi they thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi th thi th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th th thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi their thi thi thi their thi thi thi thi thi thi thi thi and I'm happy for them. Totally. I got. I think we can put like a healthy label over it too in that like it very well just might be her like she just wants to actually be like a little spoiled. She's like I want to feel like I'm valued and sometimes the way that I get that is

through gifts or being taken out and that's how I feel loved so then I can come up and love you. What I think is like look I'm not like I can't relate to this story but like I I think a lot like Christmas I hate Christmas no but like I think these people clearly didn't have like conversations about sexual attraction and desire and like what turns them on I don't think they've sat and like communicated this so they just didn't have sex for years and now it's suddenly like they probably could have gotten to this a lot sooner by being like what do you what would we like to explore? Because you know I think a lot of married couples just kind of give up like it's clure. It's clear they did not talk about what their desires are. No no I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like I just like no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just. I just just just just just I just I just just just just just just I just just like I just want. I just want. I just want. I just want. I just want. I just want. I just. I just. I just they. I just just. I just. I just just they're. I just just they're not just just like I just just like I just like I just want, I just want to be a BJ. It's interesting because like he said, it's over time, right? So it's like maybe in the beginning,

they were getting a little bit of that like early relationship, dating, paying, separate kind of thing. But then eventually when you're married, your finances, they grouped together, your bank accounts grouped together. And she started that I like it. And maybe when they first started dating he like really took her out, he bought her things, so maybe she's because motherhood is it does chemically and physically change you as a person. So I've heard and I feel like

she wanted to have a spark without realizing it. Yeah human beings are just fucking figuring it out. And we just want to be Jays. The way the way this guy wrote this story makes me. Oh, it's insane. He gives me some squeezes and tugs and then I climb on top. Oh, I wanted more. Where is she tugging? He needs to write erotic?

He needs to write erotic fiction. He needs to write erotic fiction. Like he needs... For who? Cowboys? The cowboys. I don't know if I would describe that as erotic. Squeezes and toes I climb on top. It was actually the driest description of sex, quite literally. I've ever heard. Tearfully giving me a sweet old blowjob. Okay.

Okay. Okay.. Rain's hit his limit. No, he doesn't like Christmas. No, I'm sorry, we gotta move on. Okay, well, let's move on. All right, it's time for our final story now. And this one comes from Am I the Asshole? And also Best of Reditor Updates. So we've got a story that has multiple parts. Updates.

And this is also recent. Like how fresh? Like, only, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th, th. th. thi. th. thi, thi. thi. thi. tho, tho, tho, tho, tho, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th, th, th, th. th, th. th, th. th, th, th, th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. too. too. tooa. tooa. tooa. tooa. tooa. too. too. thii. thi. thi.? Uh, like, only like 10 days ago. All right. This is a 23-year-old woman writing this. Am I the assiol for controlling what my boyfriend, who's 24, eats? I would typically say yes. Well, let's let's find out what he eats. All right.

Throw away because I don't want him to find this, but I'm honestly at my wits end here. I, a 23-year-old woman, have been dating my boyfriend, Jake, who's 24, for four years. I'd say we're a happy couple overall, but lately this argument has come up that's divided us. He's always had unique tastes. Serial with orange juice instead of milk, mayo and butter sandwiches, and raw onions have been the worst culprits. I've put up with these, we all have our quirks, right? Well two weeks ago he started eating garlic as his midnight snack. Raw cloves of garlic. I can't share a drink with him without it reeking of garlic somehow. And kissing him, it's like shoving a clove straight in your mouth.

He swears he's only eating them because he didn't want them to go to waste, and that he would stop once he finished the head of garlic. But just when I finally thought it was over, I caught him sneaking a second one in the kitchen last night when he thought I was asleep. I confronted him about his secret grocery trip this morning, and he got really defened it. I'm trying not to be a nagging here, but's really wearing on me. The garlicky aura surrounding him makes me want to avoid him at all costs. But like, I don't want to do that because he's my boyfriend. Am I the assel for giving him an ultimatum of no more eating garlic? Edit for context.

His diet seems healthy overall, and he goes to the gym a lot. He had a doctor's appointment not long ago, and I don't think think think think go again. Sorry if the title is confusing, I just feel bad because I did give him an ultimatum this morning, which I know isn't good. I really love him and don't want to break up with him, but I just don't know what to do. He hasn't come back since this morning. I can't Do you know who Dustin Hoffman is? Do you know the movie Hook? Do you know what Peter Pan is? Do you know what books are?

And this isn't to me to go up that. Books. Okay. Okay. Dustin Hoffman in Hook apparently would eat garlic to make the kids like repulsed by him. I love that one that told me that fact. That might be real that might be fake I don't know. I was gonna say he's like a vampire hunter or oh I was like well but yeah he's van housing. Yeah that he works out needs garlic vampire. Here's the thing okay her boyfriend could be a vampire but also like let him go through this weird face. You think it's a face. I don't know if it's a phase. She says he has always had

unique taste. The garlic? The garlic? Garlic specifically. He'll get over it. I think it is something that she doesn't know yet because he is making the excuse of like he doesn't want it to go to waste, but then he's sneaking around. Maybe he wants to break up. You think? He's trying is my way to repulter. If he's doing secret shopping. The verdict was not the asshole. Some comments here, if you really can't stand it, convey that. Opie responded, I tried to explain when I talked to him this morning. I told him that the other weird food combos don't really bother me, but the particular smell of this is too much. He said that I just need more time to to to to to to to to to to to the to to the to to the to to their. I, to their. I, to to their. I, to their, their, to to to to their, their, their, thi. I, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their. If. If, their, their, their. If, their. If, their. If, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, their, thi. If thi. If thi. If thi. theeeateate. theate. thiii. theate. their their thii. If thi. If thi. but the particular smell of this is too much. He said that I just need more time to get used to it but it's been nearly two weeks already. Oh, I... someone else said, is there anything else weird going on? OP responded, we haven't been going on our usual dates for the past two-ish months and he's had to leave to take calls a bit, but that's just, that's just

that's just because because because because because because because because because Nothing weird. His busy season is almost over, which is good. He's cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating. He's cheating. You think he's cheating? Yeah, he's going to tell him. Yeah, he's going to tell.

And he's coming home and he's putting garlic in there. Boom. Remember that music video? Wait, you're right. Wait, what did you say? I was gonna say, what I have heard of is, the only thing I've heard of like that is alcoholics constantly like doing stuff to cover their alcohol. Right, right, right. Never heard of someone being like, I gotta cover the smell of sex. Yeah, neither.

Like, never. I've never. So you're saying, hethat's what I'm talking about. You're saying he's over here like, ha! And then like, he'd eat garlic and then like, I gotta cover that up. And he did it again. I really love that, you're gonna, are you crying? Yeah, he's sick. I don't know. I really like your the theory.

I didn't even think about him coming back, the garlic in the mouth, and then, like, using that as a tactic. I was still under the impression that he is doing that to just break up with her. I didn't even include cheating in there. But you think he's, because he's been all doing all these sorts of crazy things, like, what is he trying? He's working late? He hasn't been going on date. But she's saying this is his usual busy season. Yeah, I don't think we necessarily have to be like he's cheating. He very much might be, but it also could be the flip side and that he's just too nice of

a guy that he cannot break up with this woman and he is going to such extreme lengths so that she would break up with him. But it's just coming off as peculiar. Yeah. Well there's an update. Finally, as we expected. Thank you all for your advice yesterday. It gave me a lot to think about. As it turns out, some of your comments ended up being spot on. Yesterday evening I tried texting him about seeing a doctor like you guys suggested. He never applied. I guess he still has me muted. I spent the night tossinging and turning and turning the tosk. the tosk. the tos. the tos. the tos. tos. the the tosk. tosk. tosk. the tosk. tosk. thea. thea. thea. thea. thea, the the the the thea. the the the the the the the the the the the the the toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, toe, the the toe, the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. I, th. I, the. I, the. I, the. the. I was, tean. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. te. I wase. I'm, te. the still has me muted. I spent the night tossing and turning. I kept going over what I was going to say to him when he got home. Not that it mattered because he didn't come back last night.

That worried me. So this morning I checked his location. He stopped sharing it with me through his phone. But I guess he forgot I can still see it on Snapchat. It showed him about 30 minutes away at some house off a random thap I was pretty confused and honestly panicked. All his friends that I know of live in the city. I tried to call him again and was sent to voicemail, so I drove over there to see what was up. When I got to the house, I noticed a woman

about my age gardening in the front yard. I was pretty upset already, so I flat out asked her if she had seen my partner. She seemed surprised and asked if I meant Jake. She invited me inside and there he was. Apparently she's into gardening and they met at her stand last fall when he went to stock up on onions at our local farmers market. They hit it off and have been seeing each other for the past six months and made it official back when his busy season started. She said lately she's been giving Jake the garlic she grew last summer since it's going to go bad soon. That's why he was so insisting on eating it by thi it by thi thi thi the thi the the the the thi the thi the thi the the garlic she grew last summer since it's going to go bad soon. That's why he was so insistent on eating it by himself instead of cooking it into a shared dish like normal, and why he's been eating onions like an apple instead of letting me use them on my sandwiches. He didn't want to give me her presence because, in his own words, she grew it with love for me.

And if you ate them, you would have known. At that point, I saw red tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha tha the thiiiiak thiak the thiak thiak would have known. At that point, I saw red, so I just left. Since then, Jake's been blowing up my phone about how he can fix this, and that he won't do it again, but I'm so over it at this point. Just when I thought my life couldn't get any worse, while I was moving his stuff to the curb, I found his stash of garlic, shoved in the back of his closet, One pound of garlic in a Home Depot bucket along with letters she had written him. I'm keeping the garlic.

I don't think we can ever come back from this cheating, but I'm going to at least get some good meals out of this terrible situation. Please send me your favorite recipes to use the garlic in. I need a distraction to keep my mind off of everything. I knew it. I knew it. I can't believe he was dating my character in star. I th. I th. I th. I the th. I the th. I th. I th. I the character. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I thi. I think thi. I can't think thi. I can't thi. I can't thi. I can't thi. I can't thi. I can't th. I can't. I can't. I can't. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I th. I thin. I thin. th. t. too. tooo. te. toge. thin. the. thi. thi. thi. thi. I thi. I thi. I th. I fucking fought for that man. I knew it. Nah. I can't believe he was dating my character in Stardu Valley. I gave him the benefit of the doubt. I'm sorry, it's kind of romantic that he was like, she cooked this for me.

Yeah, it's devastating. It's like, yeah, I mean, that is really messed up what he did. Oh, my god. And the fact that he thought he could come back from it. Absolutely coward. Yeah, I can fix this. Uh, how? And now she's cooking. She's a chef. I'm all for it. I love that.

I love that. I love it. Any kind words would be appreciated or like any further advice. No. She goes, give me your recipes, because, because, because, because, because, because, the their. their. their. their. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. their. to. to. their. their. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. th. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. to. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. thi. love it. A pound of garlic. What's your favorite recipe that involves garlic? Okay, you guys are gonna hate me. Okay, what? I actually don't like garlic. Get out. I live for garlic. My favorite thing as a kid, my papa used to cut off the top of garlic, salt and pepper, olive oil, bacon in the oven, and I used to take it out and put it on bread.

I ate it so much that he told me if I kept eating so much that I would grow a mustache. And I did. And I was happy. And I was happy. I'm not even making it out. I don't think that was the garlic. No, it was the garlic why I grew a mustache and a utero. It wasn't me.

Wasn't because I'm Portuguese. I tell you that. Trust me. It's definitely not that. No, but I truly am obsessed with, I love. Oh, I love it. Onging and it makes it better. It's so, so, so good. Roasted garlic? Oh, just like marinated garlic, like garlic in like olive oil. It's marinated.

Also fresh, fresh garlic in rice. You make white rice and then fresh garlic in it. With a little bit of olive oil, it's so yummy. Sorry, I guess I can't. Well, no, I feel like we disagree on a lot of things too Because you also love my worst enemy, which is cardamom. I love cardamom. I just feel like I have a very Sensitive palette. I'm I'm a picky eater. So strong strong flavors like horse radish. You guys are gonna hate this one truffle. I can't do it. I do love truffle. I lost the room. I lost? I? the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the th. th. th. the th. th. I th. I th. I th. I to to to the the to to to to to to to to to to to to to to to the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the their? their their their their their. their th. tree. tree. true. tr. tr. I tr. I tr. I true. I true. I true. I to. I to. I to. I their. the. I the. I do love truffle. I lost the room. I lost the room. I heard that sigh, but I can't do truffle, horseradish. Again, like it just, it overpowers for me.

See, I have great, I have grave mouth. I need strong flavors. Yeah, I just, it takes over for me and it's all of what I'm eating. So then I just can't do it. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. You're okay. Thank you. Thank you. What story here gave you the biggest?

What? What was the first? I think we all know. I think we all know. I think we all know. I think we know because we spent five hours just sitting here losing our minds about it. Christmas came early. five hours just sitting here losing our minds about it. Christmas came early.

Okay, but that one. God day, Christmas comes early. Okay, but that one wasn't as, I wasn't as like gagged because of that one. Get out of here! Take your pearl necklace and go! Okay, okay. I think it's still the one where she said, where he said the selfish cow, because I reacted out loud. I actually just, I unconsciously just made a sound.

That was horrendous. We did that. I promise you, we are sober right now. I don't know what's going on. Yes, that was her right. Hamilton, but Christmas. Cheers, really. When you were reading it for some reason,

Amanda, I both were just like, two times around Christmas time. Like, why? The Hamilton one, I agree with you. Thank you. Shane, what about you, bud? Yeah, probably that Hamilton won. Yeah, yeah, such a coward.

All right. Guys, remember when it was about names? Remember when we started this very serious? How did we start this on such a serious note and then end up here? That was the same video that we were like, yeah, we should really be. That was the same week. Can you believe that? Uh, thank you both for joining me here. This was a fever dream.

And thank you for watching. I hope this was coherent. Who knew that Arasha and I, who knew? We'd cook, we could. Comment whatever you want. Comment if Christmas is your favorite holiday. Hey, Christmas is coming. God. Uh, we, let us know what other types of themes and subredes you want us to cover,

because we're, this, this theme worked. Let's re-release this on Christmas Day. All right. We'll see you next Saturday. where this theme worked. Let's re-release this on Christmas Day. All right, we'll see you next Saturday. Goodbye. Bye. Bye.